Fresh Air - Remembering Rob Reiner

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

The great filmmaker Rob Reiner and his wife Michele were killed in their home Sunday. Their son Nick has been arrested on suspicion of murder. It’s a shocking and tragic end to a life that brought joy to so many. Reiner’s contributions to American film include canonical movies such as ‘The Princess Bride,’ ‘Stand By Me,’ ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and ‘This Is Spinal Tap.’ He spoke with Terry Gross this past September about his reunion with the ‘Spinal Tap’ guys, growing up among comedy legends, and collaborating with his son Nick on a film inspired by Nick’s struggle with addiction. Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hi, it's Terry Gross. Before we start today's show, I want to say a few words about public media. It's been in the news a lot lately because federal funding for it was eliminated earlier this year. But it's the fact that NPR is public media that enables fresh air and all of NPR's podcasts to be unique and to be there for you. The Public Broadcasting Act of 1967 said that local public media stations should be responsive to their communities. To this day, that's what NPR member stations are doing in so many towns and regions where newspapers have stopped publishing. We're providing news and information to everyone. Even as digital pay walls rise elsewhere, we offer these services for free, regardless of anyone's ability to pay. At NPR, we still

believe in these core commitments, but the loss of federal funding is creating major challenges for NPR and all public radio stations. As we move into this uncharted future together, we know that you will not let the service that has been here for you all these years falter. We rely on your support to bring you fresh air now more than ever. This year, we've continued to bring you interviews with investigative journalists who have uncovered important stories that otherwise may have never been revealed about our government and the state of our democracy, as well as interviews with authors, actors, directors, scientists, health experts, religion scholars, and more. Who knows what surprises await us in 2026. Thank you if you already go the extra mile as an NPR Plus supporter.

If not, you can join the Plus community, get a bunch of perks like bonus episodes and more from across NPR's podcasts, including fresh airs, and support public media by signing up for NPR Plus at plus.npr.org. That's plus.npr.org. Thank you. This is fresh air. I'm Terry Gross. It was shocking and heartbreaking to hear about the murder of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michelle Singer-Riner, especially since their son was arrested on suspicion of murder. Today we're going to listen back to the interview I recorded with Rob Reiner in September.

But first, our TV critic, David B. and Cooley, has an appreciation. Rob Reiner, as a film director, worked in many different genres and excelled at all of them. And before contributing significantly to the vocabulary and history of movies, he did the same thing for television.

Rob Reiner was the son of Carl Reiner, who was both writer and writer, performer was a key contributor to NBC's Your Show of Shows. That Sid-Cesar series was the Best Sketch Variety Show of the 1950s. Carl Reiner then created and eventually appeared in the best TV sitcom of the 60s, the Dick Van Dyke show. His son, Rob Reiner, followed down a similar path. Rob Reiner's first job in TV was as a writer on the Best Sketch Variety series of the 60s,

the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Then, as an actor, he co-starred in one of the best and most influential TV sitcoms of the 70s, Norman Lear's All in the Family. In that long-running hit sitcom, Carol O'Connor played a bigoted Queen's working-class homeowner named Archie Bunker. Rob Reiner played Michael Meathead Stivick, the live-in-son-in-law, who was married to Archie's daughter, Gloria, played by Sally Struthers. Before the series premiered, two previous versions had been filmed. filmed with other actors playing Michael and Gloria. The series only was bought by CBS, though,

after Rob Reiner and Sally Struthers had been cast in those roles. Riner won two Emmys for his work on All in the Family, and his talent and chemistry with his fellow actors was obvious from the very first episode. I just want to learn a little bit about society so I can help people. People? Your mother-in-law me is people. Help us with you. Go to work. I know what's bothering you. You're upset because I was nailing you on that law and order thing. You nailed me?

Yeah, that's right. Now I'm going to tell you something. Oh, Michael. No, no, wait a second. I'm sorry, Gore. I know I promise, but I feel I've got to say this. You know why we got a breakdown in law and order in this country, Archie? Because we got poverty, real poverty.

And you know why we got that? Because guys like you are unwilling to give the black man, the Mexican-American, and all the other minorities that just and rightful, and share of the American dream. Who said he wasn't smart? That's beautiful, Michael, beautiful. Rob Reiner continued to act throughout his career, playing himself in the Larry Sanders show,

Curb Your Enthusiasm, and the movie The Muse, and he also played different characters in such movies as the First Wives Club, Primary Colors, and the Wolf of Wall Street. But after leaving all in the family, Rob Reiner made his biggest mark as a film director, dabbling and succeeding in several different genres. His mockumentary, This Is Spinal Tap, proved so durable and lovable

earlier this year it spawned a sequel. His adaptations of two Stephen King stories, Stand By Me and Misery, are outstanding examples of, respectively, the coming-of-age tale and the horror movie. And The Princess Bride, written by William Goldman and directed perfectly by Reiner, is quite simply the best family fantasy film since the Wizard of Oz. Some of Reiner's visuals in his movies are indelible. The leeches in stand-by-mey,

the amplifier knob that goes to 11 in This Is Spinal Tap. The sledgehammer swing in misery, the grandfather reading to his grandson in The Princess Bride. Even more memorable, though, are certain lines of dialogue and the way he presented them on screen. Reiner framed instantly recognizable catchphrases for Jack Nicholson on the witness stand in a few good men You can't handle the truth

Farm Boy in the Princess Bride As he wish Also from the Princess Bride Mandy Patinkin as the revenge-obsessed sword fighter Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya You kill my father, prepare to die And Rob Reiner even gave a killer of a punchline to his own mother in a scene from when Harry met Sally set at Katz's Deli,

in which she watches another patron, played by Meg Ryan, faking an orgasm. I'll have what she's having. Over his career, Rob Reiner sought out and worked with some of the best actors and writers in the business. He also was very active in political and humanitarian causes, making an impact there, as well as on cinema and television. David B. Incouli is fresh airs TV critic. I interviewed Rob Reiner in September about his life and career. The occasion for the interview was the release of his sequel to his groundbreaking 1984 mockumentary, This Is Spinal Tap. The sequel, Spinal Tap 2, The End Continues, is now streaming on HBO Max.

This Is Spinal Tap was the most influential mockumentary and helped pave the way to movie and TV mockumentaries, including the office, and Parks and Recreation. The film satirized heavy metal bands and rock documentaries. The band is known for its excesses, its loud volume, a bass player who stuffs his pants, incredibly sexist lyrics, as well as on and offstage mishaps. Let's start with a song from Spinal Tap 2.

In ancient times, hundreds of years, before the dawn of history, lived a strange race of people. It's druids. No one knows who they were, or what they were doing. But their legacy was. But their legacy remains humed into the living rock of Stone Age. Stonehenge, where the demons dwell, where the bansans live and the new live well.

Stonehenge, where a band's a band, and the children dance to the pipes and find. Rob Reiner, welcome to fresh air. Congratulations on the sequel. I'm very glad that you made it, and I know everyone else will be too. Thank you. One of the things that's very interesting about the film, the first,

and maybe particularly the sequel, is that you have a band that started off as, you know, kind of like young and rebellious and, you know, all that. Now, like Spinal Tap, they're in their 70s, and it just makes no sense for them to be singing some of the lyrics that they're singing. And that happens to a lot of bands who end up performing their old material about teenage love, you know, when they're in their 70s.

But these are songs about like their sexual prowess and they're incredibly, some of them are just like incredibly, like, sexist. So it sounds so inappropriate in so many ways. Yeah, the beauty of these guys, the members of spinal tap, is that in all those years, from their 20s, 30s, up now until their 70s, they have grown neither emotionally or musically. There's no growth. They basically are in a state of arrested development for like 50 years. And the only growth that there is is maybe skin tabs from getting older. They have to be biopsied. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Did you want the second movie to reflect how music documentaries have changed? Because if I did my math right, like spinal tap, like this is spinal tap precedes the MTV and VH1 music documentaries that became so famous and so parodied.

There were a lot of music documentaries before we made the first film. I mean, you know, Led Zeppelin had the song remains the same. the Who had the kids are all right. And of course, you know, The Last Walls. Yeah, the Last Walls was Scorsese. And the first one was the Bob Dylan documentary by Penny Baker. You know, don't look back, you know.

Yeah. So there were these documentaries. But so what we were doing was not only satirizing heavy metal, but we were satirizing the documentary form and the way in which documentaries were presented. And I, you know, basically the reason my character, Marty DeBergie, who's supposedly the documentarian of the film is in the film is because in the last walls,

I saw, yeah, and there's Marty Scorsese. He's in the film. He's documenting this last concert by the band, but he's also in the film. The first film I shot with a 16-millimeter camera, you know, it's a film camera. Now we have digital cameras, and I shot with two cameras,

and I try to, you know, Marty, let's say the character Marty, who's making the film. I have to always filter it through how he would make it, not necessarily how I would make it. And I try to say, will he be affected by the new modern type of techniques that they use in reality shows and, you know, what you see up on social media and all that? And I think he's, you know, he may try a little bit, but basically he's stuck in his own inabilities to make it any hipper or cooler

than he was. So he hasn't grown all that much either. I want to play one of the most famous moments from the first Spinal Tap film. And it's the scene where Christopher Guest as Nigel Tufnell is showing you the director

of this documentary his guitar equipment and he's showing you his amp which goes up so loud because this band prides itself on how loud it is. It goes up so high, it goes past 10 to 11. So here's an excerpt of that scene. What we do is if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Put it up to 11. Exactly. One louder. Why don't you just make 10 louder and make 10 be the top

number and make that a little louder? These go to 11. And he looks like totally baffled by what What makes that funny is the long pause he gives. And the reason he gives that pause is because he doesn't know I'm going to say, why don't you make 10 a little louder? I just came up with that then. And so it stops him for a second. And then he says, well, these go to 11. And what's interesting is that that phrase goes to 11 is now in the Oxford English dictionary

as something that is commonly used for not just loud. music, but anything that's done in excess, something that goes beyond what it normally does. So it's weird that something that we just threw off like that all of a sudden becomes part of the lexicon of our lives. It's very strange how these things have taken root. You started making spinal tap to the end continues in 2024 on your 77th birthday. And everyone in the movie is the same or approximately the same age as the characters they play. Right, right. Did making the film make you think more about how you've aged since the first one and all that's happened to you in between?

Oh, sure. You can't ignore it. I mean, you, you know, hopefully our minds are still sharp and we're still able to, you know, as Chris Guest calls it schnadel. We can schnadel with each other back and forth. But, yeah. Schneedle is his word for improv? Yeah, yeah, he says, you know, we shnadled with each other, which is true. I mean, and what's interesting is that after 15 years of not, you know, working together, we came back and started looking at this and seeing if we could come up with an idea, and we started schnadling right away. It was like falling right back in with friends that you hadn't talked to in a long time. It's like jazz musicians, you know, you just fall in and do what you do. you are part of so many comedy related things and so are your friends so i'm going to start with like your father was carl reiner yes and he created the dick van dyke show and before that wrote for and acted in sid caesar shows back in the 1950s um albert brooks your good friend from high school you made a movie about him you did an act with joey bishop's son before he made movies you co-founded an

improv group and did a lot of improv. In the 70s, you were on one of the most popular and groundbreaking sitcoms, all on the family. You wrote with Steve Martin for the Smothers Brothers Summer Replacement show early in your career. You were the third host of Saturday Night Live. I mean, I could go on. You have three movies in the National Film Registry, when Harry met Sally, the Princess Bride, and this is Spinal Tap. Yikes, that's like so much comedy history. I'm tired, Terry. I'm tired when you read that.

When you make a friend or meet somebody, is being funny one of the first traits you look for in someone? Well, you know, it's interesting. Yes, of course, you want to, you know, connect with somebody that, you know, you can connect with on the same level. When I was young, you know, you mentioned, you know, my dad and said Caesar. You know, he also did, to me, the greatest comedy albums ever done with Mel Brooks, called it, you know, the 2,000-year-old man.

And to me, they're the hip-est- funniest comedy albums ever. And when I was a kid and teenager and I come home from school, I would put on one of the albums. I did it almost every day for a long time. And I listened to it because I thought, God, this is so brilliant. And that was improvised, too. I thought, you know, when I met somebody,

if they dug the 2,000-year-old man and they could quote lines from it, I knew it was somebody I could connect with because they were on the same wavelength as I. It was like a good test to see if this is somebody I could connect with. Was the 2000-year-old-old-man album and subsequent versions of it one of the reasons why you wanted to do improv? Well, no, not really. I mean, that's something I always, you know, I was drawn to. I mean, I loved Second City.

I loved the committee. I used to go visit the committee when they were up in San Francisco. And we got the idea when I was at UCLA. I guess I was about 18 or 19 at the time to start our own improvisation group. And I wanted to do what my dad did. I, you know, when I was a little boy, my parents said I came up to them and I said, you know, I want to change my name. I was about eight years old, I guess. I said, I want to change my name. And they said, they were, oh, my God, this poor kid, he's worried about being in the shadow of a famous guy and living up to and all this. And they said, well, what do you want to change your name to? And I said, Carl.

And they said, I loved him so much. I just wanted to be like him, you know, and I wanted to do what he did. And I just looked up to him so much. So, yeah, I was surrounded by all of this. And I look at, there's a picture in my office of all the writers who wrote for Sid Caesar and the show of shows over the nine years, I guess, that they were on. And when you look at that picture, you're basically looking at everything you ever laughed at in the first half of the 20th century. I mean, there's Mel Brooks, there's my dad, there's Neil Simon, there's Woody Allen, there's Larry Gelbart. I mean, Joe Stein, who wrote Fiddler on the roof, Aaron Rubin, who created Andy Griffith Show,

everybody, anything you ever laughed at is represented by those people. So these are the people I look up to, and these are people that were around me, you know, as a kid growing up. Did you ever want to be in a band? Because so many people in the entertainment world at some point wanted to be in a band. Of course I did. You know, I mean. But did you ever play? I can sing.

I can sing and I can sing on pitch, but that's about it. And I, you know, I would have killed to be able to, I love blues. I'm a big fan of the blues. I mean, I can, I listen to any blues guitarist, you know, you got me hooked. And when I saw Michael Bloomfield, who played with the Paul Butterfield blues band and then played with a band called Electric Flag, I said, wow, God. And he's Jewish, you know. He's a white Jewish guy. And he's playing the blues, and he's unbelievable.

And I thought, boy, I would just kill to be like Michael Bloomfoot. Just the playing of the music, not the other parts, which weren't so good for him. We're listening to the interview I recorded with Rob Reiner in September. We'll hear more of the interview after a break. I'm Terry Gross, and this is fresh air. Do you remember the first song that you guys ever wrote together? All the way home, probably. Yeah.

All the way home? Yeah. Can you remember a little bit on it? I'd love to hear... Christ. Some black coffee, may we can do. That's the kind of... ... beside the railroad track.

And I'm waiting for that train to bring you back. Bring me back. If she's not on the 519, then I'm gonna know what sorrow means. And I'm gonna cry, cry. Cry, cry, cry, all the way home. All the way home, all the way home. All the way home, all the way home. Cry, cry, all the way home, yeah.

Fairly simple. It's about six words in the whole song. Yeah. It's not on the 519 Then I'm gonna know what sorrow means And I'm gonna cry, cry, cry All the way home All the way home

All the way home All the way home Yes, I'm gonna cry, cry, cry All the way home Now her daddy never like me There's his head And he could not get it through It's all great

That I loved his daughter's soul Did not mean to see her go Now I'm going to cry, cry, cry All the way home All the way home All the way home All the way home Yes, I'm going to cry, cry, cry

All the way home Woo Here we come, here it comes. All the way home. All the way home. Yes, you're going to cry, cry, cry, all the way home. One more time, all the way home. All the way home.

All the way home. And I'm going to cry. So I want to play a scene from a few good men, and this scene has that very famous line. You can't handle the truth. But it's so like he and Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise is prosecuting the colonel played by Nicholson, who's being court-martialed. So this is like the dramatic climax to that whole part of the story. And so I want to play that scene, and I have a very specific question. for you, which is in directing Jack Nicholson, how do you draw the line between giving a lot

and giving too much? You know, like, where is the line between, like, chewing the scenery and a great dramatic performance? So, let's listen to the scene. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those. Those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do it? You, you, Lieutenant Weinberg, I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know that Santiago's death while tragic probably saved lives, and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties. You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something.

You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time or the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide. it. I would rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to. So, Rob Reiner, you directed a few good men, which that scene is from. So with Nicholson, he's a great actor. But, you know, some great actors can just give a little too much sometimes.

And that's such a heightened scene. Did you have to figure out, like, is that enough? Is that too much? I tell you, with Jack Nicholson, he's one of the greatest actors of all time. He's in the pantheon of all time great movie stars and actors. And his instincts are impeccable. You don't have to tell Jack Nicholson to hold back or give more, whatever. He knows what he needs to do.

interestingly enough, like any really, to my opinion, really great actor, he doesn't mind if there's a humorous thing or something that needs a line reading. He doesn't mind if you give, he'll say, how do you want me to say that? Because he likes, it's like a great musician. He wants to hear the notes. How do you say it? And since I, you know, that's one of the things I do, he, you know, he'll say, how do you want me to say that? And he's, he's happy to take a line reading. Can they give us an example? the first day of rehearsal you do a table read you know you sit around and you read the script the performance that you see on film is the same performance he gave in the read around the

table and normally actors will just kind of mark it just to hear but he gave a full-out performance and it sent a message to all the other actors Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Keith for Sutherland And, you know, Kevin Bacon and Kevin Powell, all the actors that were there that we came to play here. This is, you know, this is what we do. And it put everybody in a place. It's like being on a baseball team and watching Babe Ruth step into the batting cage before the game. And he's hitting one ball after the other out of the park. And so they said, oh, we got to step up our games too.

And Jack is smart because he knows that the more he gives, the more he's going to get back. and it's going to make other people's performances better and that ultimately is going to make his performance better. More to react to. Yeah, and when we did that scene, the famous, you know, you can't handle the truth scene, I asked him. I said, Jack, you know, you got this great speech and, you know, I can either shoot the coverage,

meaning the reaction shots and have you off camera, or if you're ready, I'll shoot you now, and then, you know, I get the reaction shots later. He said, well, why don't you shoot the reaction shots? you know, and that way he'll give me a chance to work into it. I said, fine. So he's off camera and I'm shooting, you know, a shot for, you know, Tom Cruise and one of to me and one of the, of Kevin Bacon.

And, you know, I've got different angles. And every time we go through the scene, he gives the exact same performance, the one you see on camera. And at one point I go back to Jack, I said, Jack, you know, maybe you want to wait and hold some of this back. You know, when I turn around the camera and you'd be on you, you'll have everything, you know, you don't want to waste it here. He says, no, Rob, you don't understand. I love to act. He said, this is a great part and I don't get a chance to play great parts that often. So that was him. What he did off camera, what he did at the reading, what you see on camera is what

you get from Jack Nicholson. We're listening to the interview I recorded with Rob Reiner in September. of the interview. After a break, this is fresh air. You decided to give your mother where it turned out to be the most famous, most quoted line from when Harry met Sally. This takes place in the deli, a very famous deli in Manhattan, Katz's Deli, when Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal, their characters are having lunch together, their friends. And Billy Crystal's kind of like going on about, you know, his dating life, how good it is and how satisfied, you know, sexually satisfied the women he's dating. are and Meg Ryan is a little skeptical and she says like how do you know that it's real I mean how how can you judge if what they're expressing is real or not and he goes oh I know and she goes oh really and then she starts faking the noises as if she's having an orgasm and everyone in the

deli stops eating everyone's staring at her Billy Crystal's watching people stare at him and Meg Ryan. And she's going on and on. And then your mother has this famous line that when Meg Ryan is done, that your mother says to the waiter. So let's play a short excerpt of that. Oh, oh, oh, God. Oh. I'll have what she's having. I'll have what she's having. How did you decide, oh, that's the line I'm giving my mother? Well, first of all, Billy Crystal came up with that line. We had the scene. We knew we were going to do a scene where Meg was going to fake an orgasm in an incongruous place, like a deli.

And Billy came up with the line. I'll have what she's having. And when he did, and he came up with it, you know, before we went to New York, he came up with in rehearsal. I said, we need to find somebody, an older Jewish woman who could deliver that line, which would seem incongruous. And I thought of my mother because my mother had done a couple of little things. She did a thing in a movie that Anne Bankroft directed called Fatso. And she did a couple of other little things. And so I thought, oh, well, she'd be perfect for it.

And so I asked her if she wanted to do it. And she said, sure. And I said, now, listen, Mom, you know, we don't know. Hopefully that'll be the topper of the scene. It'll get the big laugh. And if it doesn't, you know, I may have to cut it out because I know the scene is funny. with Meg doing that. And she said,

that's fine, you know, I just want to spend the day with you. I'll go to cats as I'll get a hot dog whatever it is. She was fine with it,

you know, she was okay. And then when we did the scene, um, the first couple of times through, Meg was kind of tepid about it. She didn't, you know,

give it her all. She didn't go full out. And so I said, let's try it again. And she was nervous. She's in front of, you know, the crew and there's extras and people.

She did it a few times. And then it was never exactly. what eventually wound up in the film. And at one point I get in there and I said, Meg, let me show you what I'm on it. And I sat opposite Billy and I'm acting it out and I'm going pounding the table and I'm going, yes, yes, yes, I'm pounding the table. And then I turned to Billy. I said, Billy, this is embarrassing here.

Oh, you see what? He says, I just had an orgasm in front of my mother. But then Meg came in and she did it obviously way better than I could do it. So I interviewed your father back in 1988, and I don't know if you ever heard that. I haven't, but I know, I'm sure it's great. He's great to talk with. So there was an excerpt I asked him about you, and I want to play that excerpt. Is that okay? Yeah, you want to hear it? Okay. Yeah, yeah. So this is Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner's father, in 1988.

Let me ask you about your son, Rob Reiner. He first became an acting star and all in the family, his Meathead, and then, he became a director, directing movies like Princess Bride, Spinal Tap, Stand By Me. Did you ever expect him to go into show business? Not when he was very young, although he had a tremendous ability to remember everything he'd ever seen. I mean, he was one of these kids who absorbed everything he saw on television and movies. But he never stated it loudly that he was going to do, but in his heart he wanted to be a director always. Isn't that amazing? And he only told us about it later.

When he was about 19 years old, I saw him direct a Ricky Dreyfuss, and he were friends when they were in high school, and he directed a version of No Exit by Sartre. And it was brilliant. He was only about 18 or 19 at the time. At that point, his road was starting to be paved. He wanted to be a director, and there was no question that he knew that. And he wasn't telling it to everybody because, you know,

when you're young and say, I want to be a director, I say, I get out of here. And he had it in his mind. I'm sure all the time he was all in the family. He was planning it. Do you show each other your work? Oh, yes. You're asking something very, very current.

You're the first one, fresh air, has got the first piece of information about this. Last night I saw a preview, not a preview, a rough cut of Rob's new movie, which he's not sure of the title yet. So far as Harry, this is Sally. Or Sally, this is Harry, I'm not sure of the title, with Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Carrie Fisher, and Bruno Kirby.

Well, I'm going to go on record as saying it is the most beautiful, successful, glorious romantic comedy that I have ever seen. I called Rob today and I said, gee, whether I'm your father or not, that's nothing to do with this. I mean, that is a masterwork of movie making. Do you remember him telling you that, and was that an important affirmation for you? You know, first of all, just hearing his voice, it's got to me a little bit there. You know, I miss him, you know, and I still hear him, you know, all the time in my head. So to listen to that was pretty amazing.

Do you want a moment? No, it's all right. It's all right. I mean, you know, he talked about the, you know, the time I directed no exit. And that was the first time that he ever acknowledged that. that he thought I was, you know, I was good at what I was doing. He came backstage after the performance, and he looked me in the eye, and he said, that was good.

No bullshit. And that's the first time you ever said anything like that to me. And so I guess it wasn't until I was 19 that he validated that to me. And then I came to visit him at the house after he. He said that. I visited him. I was living away at the time. And I was sitting with him in the backyard and he said to me, I'm not worried about you. You're going to be great at whatever you do. You know, he lives in my head all the time. And, you know, he's, he had two great guides in my life. I had my dad and then Norman Lear. It was like a second father. So I, you know, they're both gone. But they're both with me always.

Um, your father said that he didn't find out until later that you wanted to direct. Did you not tell him that you wanted to direct? No, no. And it wasn't until I did stand by me that I really started to feel very separate and apart from my father. Because the first film I did was, you know, this is spinal tap, which was a satire. And my father had trafficked in satire with Sid Caesar for many years. And then the second film I did was a film called The Sure Thing, which was a real. romantic comedy for young people and my father had done romantic comedy. You know, the Van Dyke

show is a romantic comedy, a series. But when I did stand by me, it was the one that was closest to me because I was one of four friends and I felt that my father didn't, you know, love me or understand me. And it was the character of Gordy that expressed those things. And the film was a combination of nostalgia, emotion, and a lot of humor. And it was a real reflection of my personality. It was an extension, really, in my sensibility. And when it became successful, I said, oh, okay, I can go in the direction that I want to go in and not feel like I have to, you know, mirror everything my father has done up until then.

You know, you just said you felt like your father didn't ever understand you when you were growing up. But you've also talked about how much you loved your father and wanted to be like him. You even wanted to take on his name at some point, call yourself Carl Reiner. Those two things seem contradictory. Well, they're not because loving your father and looking up to your father doesn't necessarily mean you're feeling that back, that you're feeling that from him. And the scene in Stand By Me where the boys finally find the dead body and they're sitting there, And Gordy starts to cry.

And, you know, he's sitting there with River Phoenix, who's placed Chris Chambers. And he says, my father didn't love me. And Chris says, no, he did love you. He just didn't know you. And that scene, I wrote that scene in a hotel room in Oregon, in Eugene, Oregon, when we were shooting up there. And as I was writing that scene, I start crying. because that's the way I felt. We're listening to the interview I recorded with Rob Reiner in September.

It was a part of our interview which we didn't have time to include in our September broadcast about his film Being Charlie, which he made with his son, Nick. Listening to that segment now, it has an especially sad resonance. I want to ask you about a movie that you made in 2015, which is called Being Charlie. And your son co-wrote it. directed it and it's it seems like it's semi autobiographical um because your son had um dealt with a drug addiction yeah no he did and he was in rehab and and the story is about a teenager um who is going through that as well um and the father in the movie is running for governor and doesn't

really have time for his son during the campaign and you know and is very active. I think it's worse than not having time. He thinks that his son's problems are going to hurt him. Exactly. Hurt the campaign. Yeah, yeah. And so, you know, when it comes to the decision of, like, should we do tough love and, you know, do an intervention and force him to go to rehab, the father's very in favor of that.

And part, I think, because of what you just said, that he's afraid that his son's addiction will interfere with the campaign. And so that's part of the dynamic of the movie. With it being like semi-autobiographical, did you feel like your son was sending you the message that you were sometimes too busy to pay attention to him or that he feared that you were worried it would interfere with your career if it got to the gossip call? I was never ever too busy. I mean, if anything, I was the other way. You know, I was more hands-on and trying to do whatever I thought I could do to help. And, you know, I'm sure I made mistakes. And, you know, I've talked about that with him since.

You know, he's been great. He's, you know, hasn't been doing drug for over six years. I mean, he's in a really good place. I'm really glad to hear that. Much better place. He's a good place now. But at the time, I thought, well, this will be an opportunity to look at, what happened, you know, to him and to me.

And so it is very loosely based on, you know, I had political aspirations at certain points in my life. So I made that character that way. And his character is not exactly how he was. And if you'd ask my son, Nick, he would say, it's not the film he would have made. You know, he would have made a completely different film. But for me, I had read this book called Beautiful Boy, and I think they made a movie about it. I did. The book is by David Sheff and his son.

Right, right. And I think Steve Carell was in it or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, Chef wrote the book and then his son wrote another book, which was his point of view. And I thought, ooh, that's interesting. Let's put both of our points of view and see if we can put that into a film. And, you know, I think it works. It's not, I could say, it's not the film my son would have made. but it's I was directing in this the film I would make because it's what you know sort of what I went through but my character me personally was much way way more hands on than the character the carry always plays in the movie I like the movie a lot was it a good bonding experience to make it with your son it was when we did it I mean certainly and then we had fun because when we promoted it we go on Howard Stern and that was fun to be able to do things like that with him. But I think, you know, he probably feels like, oh, gee, I, you know, I would have done it differently. I think that's what he feels.

But it was a movie that was used as a teaching tool in a lot of, you know, rehab facilities and things like that. So, you know, I think we, you know, it served a good purpose at the time, I think. Something that I think is. And I love the film. I love it. I think it's a great film. Rob Reiner from our conversation, which was recorded in September, we'll hear the conclusion of the interview after a break. This is fresh air. So I have to ask you about all in the family,

which was such a popular show in the 1970s and kind of controversial for its depiction of the generation gap between the parents and the daughter who is married to you. You're the son-in-law in it. And you're very liberal and the father's relationship. conservative and that's a constant battle between the two of you. That's one of the main themes throughout the series. But, you know, Norman Lear was very liberal. He founded, you know, people for the American way. What was that experience like for you? Like, how old were you when you first started performing in that? The series started in 71. Right. I was 23. and this is to me what's interesting about all this.

And it was groundbreaking at the time. Nobody had done a show like this. CBS, when they put it on, they had a big disclaimer at the beginning saying, you know, the views that are represented in the show don't represent the views of CV. Basically, it was a disclaimer saying, I don't know how the show got on here,

but you want to watch it, you're watching at your own risk. Don't sue us. Yeah, don't, don't talk. Yeah, I don't know. Somebody put it on it on. Anyway, but here's what was interesting about this. We were a country at that time of about 200 million people. And we were number one in America for five years straight, every single week.

And every week, 40 to 45 million people watched that show. And they had to watch it when it was on, because there was no TiVo, there was no DVR, no video cassettes, nothing. Now we're a country of, you know, upwards of 340 million people. And if you can get 5 to 10 million people watching a show on a given night, that's a huge hit and they're not all watching it at the same time. Well, there's politics itself that has become, like everybody talks about that. But pop culture is no longer the glue that it once was because there are so many options that everybody is doing their own thing. and not watching or listening at the same time. So I know exactly what you're saying.

What was it like for you to be famous at that age? You were already from a famous father. That helped. That helped. We went to school with the children of very famous people. And other people you went to school with were becoming famous too. But what was it like personally to have people recognize you? Did that make you feel good?

Was it feeling intrusive? I got to tell you, it was best. bizarre, you know, to be on a show of that power and that reach, it was like being in the Beatles. I mean, you'd go into a restaurant or you'd go into, I remember one time that Gene Stapleton and myself, Sally Strather, walked into an airport restaurant, and the entire restaurant stood up and cheered and started applauding. It was that kind of response that you don't see so much now, you know, with people in television. So it was, that was strange, but you have to take it with a grain of salt because you want to entertain them and you hope that you do, but it

doesn't matter what they think. You have to do something you like to do and hopefully other people will like it too. Rob Reiner, thank you so much. It was really been a pleasure to talk with you and thank you for the Spinal Tap movies. Well, thank you so much for having me. My interview with Rob Reiner was recorded in September. We send our condolences to everyone who knew and loved him and his wife, Michelle Singer-Riner. Fresh Air's co-host is Tanya Mosley. I'm Terry Gross. We'll end today's show with Harry Connick from the soundtrack of When Harry Met Sally.

It seemed we stood and talked like this before. We looked at each other in the same way then But I can't remember where or when The clothes you're wearing or the clothes you wore The smile you are smiling You were smiling But I can't remember Where or when

Some things that happened For the first time