Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4 - Introducing The Skewer

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Here's a chance for Friday Night Comedy listeners to hear another satirical comedy from BBC Radio 4, as Jon Holmes introduces the latest episode of his series The Skewer. The four-time Gold Comedy winner at the Radio Academy Awards returns as Jon Holmes mashes up more news with pop culture to create a current affairs comedy concept album. This week: Trump vs The World, Jenrick The Secret Traitor, No Way Nobel and Peace Board Assemble! To listen to more episodes from the series, just search for The Skewer on BBC Sounds. Producer: Jon Holmes An unusual production for BBC Radio 4

Hello, Friday Night Comedy People. I'm John Holmes, and I'm just popping up on your feed to tell you about another topical Radio 4 comedy that I think you might like. I'm saying that because it's my show. It's called The Skewer, and we bring you the week's biggest news stories mashed up with pop culture to create a comedy concept album, a satirical river of sound, if you will. For instance, haven't you always wanted to hear Donald Trump discussing trying to buy Greenland on an episode of Homes Under the Hammer, Martin Roberts. Well, the skewer is exactly the sort of place you can hear that kind of thing. You're about to listen to the latest episode, but if you like what you hear, you can find all the other episodes of The Skewer on BBC Sounds. And do make sure that you subscribe to the series so that you never miss an episode. Enjoy. This podcast contains strong language, just like we alive.

All the United States is asking for is a place called Greenland. We never ask for anything. We probably won't get anything unless I decide to use excessive strength and force where we would be frankly unstoppable. But I won't do that. No, I won't do that. That guy sounds like an idiot. Taming a wildly unpredictable man in the White House. Foken Whitehall hope, Akia Starmer, may toss off the president. Scientists are rethinking what Sir David Beckham is capable of after he was filmed using sticks to scratch himself.

The government's given the go-ahead to rebuild Gaza near the Tower of London. In Davos, Donald Trump denied any Greenland invasion plans. That's probably the biggest statement I made because people thought I would use force. Use the force. I don't have to use force. Let go. I don't want to use force. I won't use force. The force is strong.

The Prime Minister has already spoken on the phone to Mr. Trump saying, Prick. Brooklyn Beckham has taken to Instagram to publicly attack his parents And it is a very serious situation. Brooklyn's six-page post is the first true insight into the Beck of drama. Now this is a moment for the whole country to pull together. The government has approved controversial plans for a new Chinese embassy in London. All right, well you know what they say. You got to lower your ideals of freedom if you want to suck on the warm teed of China.

This is democracy manifest. They didn't want to do it. They want to protect a tiny little fish that's, you know, I said, how can you have a fish when you don't have any water? Well, let's take a break from the president's speech there. As we were saying, he's been talking for over an hour and ten minutes now. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment you're waiting for. Mr. Nigel Farage.

I am putting together a show and I need a scar. Robert Jenrick is joining Reform UK. He has been welcomed there by Nigel Farage. He revealed he's been talking. to Nigel Farage for months. You clearly have a flare of a show business. Here he is, Robert General. So come join the service.

And it's the same week that the former Chancellor Nadine Sir Harwey's defective to reform. Hey, you're looking for freaks? I know where you can find one of them. Former Cultures Secretary Nadine Dorey is defecting to reform. How can Nigel Farage criticise the Conservative Party the last 14 years of rule and then welcome these people on board? New acts every night. Robert Jenner is not. not to be trusted. You and your freaks.

Genric. Energetic, strong campaigner. Not to be trusted. I want to go after the carriage tree. And the most popular. Man, Arab, you'll go after the snobs. Elected conservative politician. The problem for their base is that they wanted something new.

And if the party is just sort of mavericks and traitors coming from the Tories, I don't know what that's going to say to the base. What the hell has just happened? The ultimate psychological game. of deception. Robert Jenrick has defected to reform. Do you think I'm a traitor? I removed the Conservative Wyden from Robert Jenrick. You were banished from the castle. After dismissing him from the shadow cabinet. I have had enough. I'm onto you. There are reports that there may have been a resignation speech that was left lying around. In plain sight. He was not going to

join. There was no plot for him to join. Do we even seduce at all? Today, I'm proud to join Reform UK. In risk, the world is your battlefield. One way or the other, we're going to have freedom of it. You are the general. You found that out with Venezuela. Strategically leading armies across borders. It was one of the great military maneuvers of all time.

Attacking. We'll be hitting them very hard where it hurts. Defending. When we own it, we defend it. Counter-striking. You better not start shooting because we'll start shooting, too. Conquering everything in your path. Under our new national...

Security strategy to take over not just a country, but the entire world. American dominance will never be questioned again. Risk, the game of global domination. It's common. Get ready. Water has finally been restored to all properties after another outage in Kent over the weekend, Southeast Water has said. I am your redeemer.

The company has faced criticism for its handling of the crisis, but has robustly defended its response. It is my master. By my hand, you will rise from the ashes of this world. South East Water wasn't speaking on camera today, but said, Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence. Tats might finally be working in this fragile network,

but for some, trust and faith in Southeast Water is beyond broken. There is no... Brand new insights. the health of President Donald Trump. I'm indestructible. Those close to the president say he is showing signs of aging. Henry more specific. Lazy, clumsy, dim-witted.

Pam Bondi, the Attorney General. She was wearing a ring and accidentally, you know, grazed the president's hand, and he started bleeding from it. Do you. Try this arm. I saw some blood in there the other day. Now, we also learned the president will not be exercising as part of his New Year's resolution. I'll just pay for the blessed liposuction. Even as questions are being.

asked about his fragility, Donald Trump is standing firm over Greenland. Not for sale, particularly to a black-hearted scoundrel like yourself. I see. President Trump invoked his failure to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. To the islands, not for sale. In a text message to the Norwegian Prime Minister, Trump said, I must have that oil. He no longer feels an obligation to think purely of peace.

Well, just have to attack you. I won't do that. And all of this has certainly pushed the Epstein files off the front pages. Whoopty-do! Who are the sickest man. in the United States. Iran's government says it's brought nearly two weeks of protests across the country under control. Senators, our country like a ship at sea has survived the hurricane.

Iranian authorities have been accused of denying families the right to bury their loved ones. No one is to bury him or mourn for him. To retrieve loved ones' bodies, families report being pressured to sign documents accepting official, often false narratives about their deaths. State power commands and we must do as we are. Robinna Aminium, 23 years old, a student who has been killed. There were security forces who didn't let her to bury Robina in the local cemetery. You can't do it.

Crayon has publicly forbidden it. So she had to transport the body. Just to give me a hand to lift the body. It was too heavy for me to move on my own. So they had to again carry Robina to. a place to be left further away outside the town they haven't been allowed to hold a ceremony for Rubina lying with no tears or ceremonies of morning was she a leader of protests subversive bashed enemies of the state a cell of oppositionist call them what you will was she someone

who had dedicated her life to opposing the regime reject the laws and my leadership no i mean if you look at her instagram you see she was a normal girl you will be made a public exam. The extensive security forces available to the Islamic Republic and interrogated by the security police are reacting with ever more brutal force. And what a death is promised for us more terrible than any if we break the law by defying the power of the state. The streets that were full on Friday are now silent. President Donald Trump has announced he will chair what's been called a Board of Peace to govern Gaza. We're all matching all part of super team. He added that he could say

with certainty that it would be the greatest and most prestigious board ever assembled. Avenge! Assemble. Sir Tony Blair. Anti-social tragedy in human form. U.S. President's son-in-law, Jared Kushner.

These are defective losers. They're stuffed with billionaires and cronies and the chairman of the World Bank, etc., etc. You know, honestly, I cannot think of a worse group of people trying to work together. The names also include U.S. Secretary of State, Marco Rubio.

My God. Quite interesting, we've got a statement now from Tony Blair. Should you be in charge? You almost killed all of us right there. Reacting to his appointment. Being a hero, there is no higher calling. Pretty ludicrous coming from the dime snort Captain America. Of course, the Trump administration will say that it's committed to the reconstruction of Gaza. Have you read his file?

Delusions of grandeur. This will be the eighth war that I've solved. That's just a fairy tale. Because I'm good at solving wars. I'm good at making peace. And it's an honor to do it. I save millions of lives. You will never save the world.

You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper. This is the greatest board that's ever been assembled. Can't call ourselves that. It's a cool name. Let's be clear, tattling the cost of living today, mean shaping the world around us. It's practical. It's about stability, predictability, and fairness.

Denmark is a close of power. Legato. For us stood shoulder to shoulder with the UK. That is why a trade war is obviously not The right way, I spoke to European leaders with regards to Greenland and the proposed tariffs. We must fight for the interests of ordinary people. And in moments like this, the way to approach our status of Greenland is through hard discussion between allies. And my job, as Prime Minister, as being so badly receiving this country, I'm not surprised.

Denmark is a close of Allah. My God, I'm just good shoulder to shoulder with the UK. That is why. Hi is the President of France wearing sunglasses at Dambossock. The sunglasses light in the mood. Oh, good evening and welcome to... Blackmail. Blackmail and betrayal is how British newspapers describe the tariffs levied by Donald Trump.

And to start the night's program, we go north. Greenland. The rules are very simple. 10% import levies on top of existing tariffs. But remember, the money increases. That could rise to 25% in June. How long you leave it, the more you have to pay. The one thing that we won't do is compromise on our position.

Compromising scenes and unpleasant details. America, our closest. ally declaring economic war against Britain. The victim may phone me at any point. Kirstarmer told Donald Trump in that phone call, that is wrong. Hello, sir, hello, yes. Number 10 said that in all his calls,

Sir, Riherserated that it was wrong to apply tariffs on allies for pursuing the collected security of NATO. No, it's all right, so we don't morally censure, we just want the money. But it is unclear how the president responded to their rare disagreement. Which could wreck a man's career. Everyone says that I should get the Nobel Peace Prize. His crusade for the prize echoes through the corridors of its Norwegian gatekeepers. I want my Nobel Peace Prize.

I can't think of anybody in history that should get the Nobel Prize more than me. Trump deserves the Nobel Prize. I said it was eight wars. I should get the Nobel Prize for every war, but I don't want to be greedy. He ran through your destiny. Eight wars. I don't care what Norway said. They probably will never give it to me.

You know why? Because they don't want to. Just give it a prize. Alexa. Who twisted the skewer was twisted by John Holmes, Katie Sayre, Alice Bright, Helen Brooks, Annie Panning, Dan Phillips, Uber, Moore, Hewiswe, Dave Wall, and, Pony, Churns signed, Additional Material, Vivian Hopley, Joseph Dixon, David Riflin, Henwick Henson, Alan Bainwich, Adrian Fist, John Upton,

Nathan, Cally, Charlie Masters, Olly Court, and James Dofferty. The producer was John Holmes. The Secure was an unusual production for BBC Radio 4 and BBC Sounds. Just give it a prize! You accepted Maria Machado's Nobel Prize medal. What do you intend to do with it? And why would you want someone else's Nobel Prize? Well, she offered it to him.

She said nobody deserves this prize for in history. I presented the President of the United States, the medal. Just give it a prize. The Medal P's Center stipulated that while the medal can change owners. Donald J. Trump now has the Nobel Peace. The title of the Nobel Peace Prize laureate cannot. Technically not a Peace Prize. The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded to one person.

The decision is final and stands for all to life. This is truly one of the great honors of my life. The rule books been torn up now and America is wiping its nasty ass with it. You deserve the Nobel Prize? Everyone thinks so, but I wouldn't ever say it. Hello, I'm Greg Jenner. I'm the host of You're Dead to Me. We are the comedy show that takes history seriously.

and then we laugh at it. And in our latest series, we've covered lots of global history. We've done the American War of Independence. We've done Empress Matilda and the medieval anarchy. We've done Alexandra Dumas, the French writer, the Kellogg Brothers and their health farm. We looked at the lives of Viking women, Renaissance-era beauty tips.

We jumped to 18th century India and also to ancient Alexandria. We looked at the life of Hannibal of Carthage, who fought the Romans, and we've done Marianne Tuenette, and a big birthday special for Jane Austen. Plus, there's 140 episodes in our back catalogue. So if you want to laugh while you learn, the show's called You're Dead to Me and you can find us first on BBC Sounds.