Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4 - The News Quiz: Ep7. Lying and Reassurance

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

Andy Zaltzman is joined by Zoe Lyons, Ian Smith, Laura Lexx and Hugo Rifkind as they unpack Trump and Putin in talks in Saudi Arabia, the solutions to prison overcrowding, and the Welsh solution for parliamentary empty promises.Written by Andy Zaltzman.With additional material by: Simon Alcock, David Duncan, Laura Major, Christina Riggs and Peter Tellouche. Producer: Rajiv Karia Executive Producer: James Robinson Production Coordinator: Jodie Charman Sound Editor: Marc WillcoxA BBC Studios Audio Production for Radio 4 An Eco-Audio certified Production.

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the bank. This sounds dangerous. It is. There was drugs. Ninja tea. This goes all the way to the top. God, I've always wanted to say that. I need you to bury this body. Black Hots, all episodes now streaming on Hulu. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. Hello, I'm Andy Zoltzman. You've caught me at a bit of an awkward time before this week's

news quiz. I am taking performance enhancing drugs. Just a cheeky little cocktail of steroids to help me get through another week of news. Firstly, this one. This is Ambivolies apathesomol. It's an apathy enhancing steroid that helps you not care too much about the collapse of everything you once held dear. Then this cheeky little syringe of Perspectivax Objectivamine. And finally, anti-cynic positive ambutamol that helps you take the positives when things seem to be going disastrously badly. We are but midges on the rhinoceros buttock of history. Right, I'm good to go.

Welcome to the News Quiz. Hello, I'm Andy Zoltman and welcome to the news quiz. Just to soothe everyone's tension after what has been another difficult week for fans of peace, diplomacy, dignity and stuff like that, here is the world we live in. Today marks the 66th millionth anniversary of the day a plucky little asteroid beat the odds and brought a merciful end to the dinosaurs' reign of terror over this planet. So our team names this week pay tribute to extinct things. We have Team Dodo versus team

Truth, Hope, Dignity and the Disappearing Mirage of an American Dream. On team Dodo, let's call them team No-No. Team Dodo, we have Laura Lex and Zoe Lyons. And on team No-No, it's Ian Smith and Hugo Rifkin. And Hugo Rifkin. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And our first question this week can go to Ian and Hugo. According to Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky, his American counterpart, Donald Trump, has another new home. He is now living where?

Inside a fat suit. LAUGHTER He's actually tiny. He's an alien the size of a weasel. And he's surprised he got away with it for this long. Unfortunately, we can't fact check that kind of stuff anymore. Is he living inside Elon Musk's asshole?

I'll just send one of our researchers to find out. He's living in a world of disinformation, isn't he? Yes, in a disinformation space. It's big, isn't he? Yes. In a disinformation space. It's big, isn't it? There's a lot of vacuum in there and not a lot of truth. That is Zelensky talking before the watershed, isn't it? LAUGHTER I don't understand how he's not swearing more.

I'd imagine that takes more energy than fighting the war. We actually know more about disinformation space than we do disinformation oceans. As always it's a race between America and Russia to conquer it. It's quite an impressive euphemism disinformation space. Yes everything you know is a lie and you haven't noticed yeah I think so. It's also wrong because he's not living in a disinformation space, he is creating a disinformation space. So I guess he does live inside it in a kind of DIY. I imagine the inside of Trump's head's like boggle. Do you remember that game he used to have?

It was like, ooh, the Egyptians didn't actually make the pyramids, we've got to take them over anywhere and turn them into massive car parks. It's just He also said he wants the Trump team to have the true facts I mean what would Trump do with true facts? He'd just wipe his bum on them, wouldn't it? He would just dribble on it It doesn't make any sense whatsoever I mean to hold peace talks or peace discussions Within Saudi Arabia with the Russians and not invite the other half there and then call him a dictator. I mean this is a man that when he lost the election caused a riot. When the Russians have elections the opposition disappears and in Saudi Arabia it's only ten years since women had the vote. That's like

Kanye West calling you a little bit tacky. Of course we can't call Trump a dictator simply because he acts talks and rules like a dictator. He's democratically elected leader with a mandate from the people of the USA to behave like a dictator to the rest of the world. I'm not sure if that's a criticism coming from Trump calling him a dictator or was it the political equivalent of a snooker player tapping his cue on a cushion after their opponent left them in a tricky spot on the ball cushion behind the yellow I mean he called him a dictator because you cranes not had an election for like five years

But I mean he knows it's like they've not an election because there's been a war they've got martial law They can't vote because they're in the army and like where the polling stations are sort of being bombed in America the most stable and prosperous nation in the world Can't have an election without Trump sort of saying it's lies and Missouri doesn't exist and he thinks Ukraine can have one. It's um, it's not reasonable all of a sudden Andy He's being not reason We completely blindsided by this yeah, how can we not see this coming? It's been a real surprise Considering his other pitch for peace between Israel and Palestine was such a good one

his other pitch for peace between Israel and Palestine was such a good one. I don't know if you remember, he was going to turn the Gaza Strip into a big buttlands, basically. It wasn't surprising, but it is pretty terrifying how quickly he's pivoted to fully, it was Ukraine's fault that the war was started and he's very much on Russia's side. Like the main thing he said is that he can make peace in, like, 24 hours, and he's very much focusing on the speed element of his promise. So he's just sort of going in and going, right, OK, Russia, what do you want? OK, sounds good.

Ukraine, are you happy with this? No? Oh, you're a dictator. Yeah, I mean, blaming Ukraine for starting the war. That's fair enough. You know, I mean, we all know that what Ukraine did was cross into Russia, drag back loads of Russian soldiers, start shooting themselves repeatedly. You know, I mean, it's a matter of record, isn't it?

But, to be fair, Ukraine did exist at the time the war started. And not to sound too much like a 1970s comedian but there have been points in each month where the mere existence of my husband makes me want to cross into the border of his physical being and hurt him. So in that way they did start war, didn't they? Well I guess the proof of that would be that Russia has not started a war with Narnia which doesn't exist. So join the dots. Trump did say that Russia wants to stop the savage barbarianism.

Now can anyone come up with any suggestions of how Russia might go about stopping the savage barbarianism? How do you have anything other than savage barbarianism? Isn't that a tautology? Could you have refined barbarianism? Elite, sort of, you really know what the cutlery is for as you eat your neighbours? Can we add this to the list of Putin's crimes? Unnecessary tautology. That'll get the ICC arrest warrant out I mean Trump says he wants peace but I think he's spelling it wrong I think all he wants is a piece of Ukraine that's it that's what we're misunderstanding it

because he he wants his money back but he wants he'll take it in minerals lithium rare minerals etc which Ukraine has a lot of and you think why do I want all of these minerals I wonder if he's got friends who are possibly working in the tech industry whose products are very reliant on rare minerals I wonder it can't possibly be that can it oh hello Elon according to Boris Johnson you asked if someone could be a civilised barbarian, there you go. LAUGHTER Whilst it might seem that Trump is just caving in to Putin, betraying America's allies and willfully abandoning everything that America used to claim to stand for,

he is actually trying to do what? Just get his wife to pay attention to him. LAUGHTER I reckon if she could just try and love him, none of this would be happening. Just give him a little, or even just say to him, well done. It's a loveless marriage and that really wears away, that makes it sound like I'm talking from a personal point of view. He's trying to get Europe to spring into action, he says. Which I don't know, I'm sort of...

You know what, it's the Germans I feel sorry for at the moment. Because you've got America saying to the Germans, you know, look, this is what we need to do for world peace. We've got this great idea, right? It's German rearmament. And you've got the Germans kind of going, like, really? And it's like America going yeah sure you just need this huge army, you know reinvent your militaristic traditions, some kind of youth wing maybe. Germany's like kind of are you sure? Yeah. Then you've got America going

yeah what you want you do when you've got this army is you take it over there towards Poland and there's this country that we reckon you should have half of and the Russians should have half of. The boss is a genius, he really thinks this could work. I think the Germans are probably loving it. Because they get to go to this, like, the European summit and they'll be sat around the table going, hey, isn't this great? They're good guys. That's what they've had recently, the European Security Summit.

And I realise the way I say summit makes it sound like they've got bored halfway through naming it. The European Security Summit. But apparently one of the things they've come up with there is the idea being discussed is not for peacekeeping troops because they're talking about having a presence in there but rather a reassurance force, which is the weediest named force. Like, here comes the reassurance force, like, oh, no! They're going to tell me it's all going to be OK. I personally have never been as reassured

as when a big man with an AK-47 is the one doing the reassuring. Because wasn't it... Was it Macron said, like, we don't understand Trump's logic? And it's like, oh, bless your sweet soul for still looking for it, Polly. What are you doing? I've got a two-year-old. I don't walk in and say, now, what is the logic behind the Souda creme in the sofa, darling?

This is indeed the latest from the gripping head-to-head tussle between Putin and Trump to see who walks away with the new Guinness World Record for longest-running single continuous tantrum. If you've been keeping up with the news this week rather than doing something more relaxing such as trepanning yourself with a rusty hand drill, you'll be aware that Donald Trump has continued to go about international diplomacy like a cocaine-addled recently divorced rhinoceros in his ex-wife's china shop. Putin, meanwhile, has been joyously prancing around in his funky new t-shirt with the slogan

I committed mass war crimes and all I got was this active endorsement from the supposed leader of the free world. Putin said about the so-called peace process, and sorry I'm not very good at impressions, but Vladimir Putin said, nobody is excluding Ukraine in this process. I need to work on it a bit. And it does remain to be seen exactly what involvement Ukraine has in the peace negotiations. Both Russia and America have said they will be involved. Currently it looks set to be the same kind of involvement that a French goose has in the foie gras industry.

Right, I think it's time to move on to, well, related news actually. Following the Trumpian onslaught, Keir Starmer has been encouraged to do what faster and further? Faster and further? It sort of feels like you could ask Keir Starmer to do, like never has a man screamed medium speed and depth more. Is he doing a nude calendar? It is defence spending though, isn't it? We do need to sort of dramatically increase our defence spending,

but I don't know if we're going to increase it enough to make up for not being the size of America. So I don't know if that's necessarily going to help as much. Also, we need to have more people in the army. We've only got about six people in the army. And we would increase it to 12, we're still in quite a lot of trouble. I'm at that point where I'd probably sign up. Yeah? Yeah. I think if we do end up going to war,

I think it's foolish and foolhardy to send our young and hopeful and ambitious. I think we should send people like me who are really menopausal. And I'll be honest, up for a fight. I mean, I... APPLAUSE I know my limits. I will need a leg over the wall,

but once I'm there, I'll... I'll be like a Jack Russell. I won't let it go. I mean, a woman tapped me on the underneath of my knee in Waitrose the other day with her shopping trolley, and she's no longer with us. LAUGHTER I mean, genuinely, we don't have the best luck with defense spending in this country. I don't know if you remember but under the

Cameron government when we bought loads of new, I think it was three new aircraft carriers and they were so expensive that we couldn't also afford the planes. And they were like oh well something will come up. I mean this is true this is literally what happened they built the aircraft carriers and they couldn't afford the planes to put on them and eventually they did find a plane they could put on them, but they started building it all without yet having invented a way for the planes to land. And then I will figure that out later. You know, and it's like, I just think the more money we spend on it, the madder we're

just going to be. But if you lined up all three of the aircraft carriers, you've got like a longer runway then. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. It makes it a bigger target, but I'm looking for solutions here. Also makes it much easier to invade France, because you just walk across. Yeah, yeah.

See, put us in charge of this. And I think I'd be great in the army, because I can fix a bike. So that means I can also fix a car. And that means I can fix a tank. APPLAUSE The money's got to come from somewhere though, hasn't it? And they've said, well it won't be health and it won't be various things, but the areas that it will probably be are the environment, prisons and policing and culture, which means we will be sort of better defended

against foreign forces, but domestically we'll be run ravaged with convicts who don't give a Jackson Pollock about the environment. I think we should be looking at circus troops more. The circus troop together has all the qualities of like an SAS infiltration team. You've always got a flexible one who can get in like small spaces. You've got someone with a lion that's got to do some damage. And if you can fix a unicycle, you can fix a bike. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

APPLAUSE So Labour's recommitted to its recommitment to commit to raising defence spending up to 2.5% of GDP from 2.3%. Obviously they're also going about reducing GDP, so that's the same amount of money I think. It would require finding an extra five or six billion pounds down the back of our national sofa. Unfortunately, the down the back bit of the national sofa

has been fully excavated, mined, dredged and scraped and the sofa has been sold to Saudi Arabia. But it's still worth a go I reckon. Well, at the end of that round, these scores are four to Laura and Zoe and six to Ian and Hugo. Woo hoo! Applause

I'm gonna talk to you about an undercover mission. I need two officers to infiltrate a gang dealing drugs. Hate to break it to you, Clinton, but we ain't street. We're just doing a spot drug dealing now. Oh. You got this? What? Take this shit off the bank.

This sounds dangerous. It is. There was drugs, nudity. This goes all the way to the top. God, I've always wanted to say that. I need you to bury this body. Ah! Black Ops, all episodes now streaming on Hulu.

Our next question, what, despite being expensive, ineffective, outdated, unfit for purpose and on the brink of collapse, has been drawing bumper attendances? Still the viewing figures for Mrs Brown's body. Pretty close. Prisons and there's far too many people in prisons because basically sentences have been getting longer and it hasn't made more people not go to jail. So it hasn't been putting people off, prison isn't working. Funnily enough, they're having the same problem in America where their prisons are bursting.

Did you see El Salvador has offered to take American prisons because El Salvador has these like massive mega prisons. They had a terrible problem with crime, huge numbers of people being murdered in El Salvador. And so basically what they did is they locked up pretty much everybody between the ages of 18 and 30 who had a tattoo. And we could try that.

Um, and film it. And it's basically Love Island. The worst thing to be in prison is to be the biggest man in prison because they tell everyone when they go in prison To punch the biggest guy and sometimes that's just like a tall man who's done fraud And this see five new people coming in going off for God's sake I actually think I have the right answer to how to solve the overcrowding I actually think I have the right answer to how to solve the overcrowding problem in prisons. Give offenders jobs in children's daycare because it would make nursery much more affordable. We all need that.

It would be a hell of a bigger deterrent for the offenders. My children might stop behaving if sit on the carpet is mandated by a man named snake knife I've got an idea of alternate sentences I'm because the same basically smaller crime shouldn't send someone to prison So I think for robbery you have to have your front door unlocked for a month and your address is published online Arson bring back burning at the stake. What about spending 24 hours in a lush? I get like a headache if I'm in a lush.

I spent five years in prison. I mean, it was technically called a boarding school. It was actually quite expensive, but very, very very similar I think yeah. And equally ineffective. Because they're releasing a lot of prisoners early now aren't they? That's the thing and so it's like a sort of one-in-one-out policy. It's like if you do want to sort of deter people from committing crimes I would imagine placing them in a sort of confined area with lots of people who are, let's be honest, professional in their league, it's

probably not the best place to do it. So what are you suggesting that more than 50% of the prison population should be entirely innocent? So that by sheer force of personality... Yeah, like jury service! Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I'd have preferred to have done that than jury service, I think.

Have you ever done jury service? Oh my goodness, the people... They're out there. They're out there and they're making big decisions. Well, yeah, and also, I mean, the issue of reoffending rates. I mean, there are a lot of people, there's a constant complaint that prisons are like five-star hotels and I guess this shows that they are like five-star hotels and that they seem to be designed specifically to do everything in their power to make their guests come back for another stay as soon as possible. But isn't most of the problem with the prison population is that an alarming

rate of the people that are in the prison system, it's something like upwards of 80% were also in the foster system as young children. So it's childhood trauma, I would argue, quite a lot of the reason that people cannot change their patterns of behavior. So perhaps if we had a working social system for social care for children in difficult situations, we might be able to solve this problem about 18 years

down the line. That would be a more powerful point if you hadn't just said that we should get children to be looked after by criminals. LAUGHTER Yes, well, British prisons have been described as a toxic cocktail of violence, death and human misery. If you will, a penal collada.

LAUGHTER They have brought in league tables to try and get local communities more involved supporting their local prisoners as it tries to finish in the top five and qualify for Europe. But the problem is you just get people calling radio phonons on a Saturday afternoon complaining about how HMP Sutterbridge has been absolutely awful all season and Warden Jenkins doesn't have a clue what he's doing. He's lost a D-Wing, the Lifers are running it now and they want him out. I don't care if we won the title last season, Robbie, it's just not good enough.

I'm largely entertaining myself at this point. And at the end of that round it is eight points all. Wales is trying to put itself at the forefront of the global challenge to restore what endangered thing? Snow Leopards. Close but not right. The bun bag. of the global challenge to restore what endangered thing? Snow leopards. Close but not right. The bum bag. I see a lot of bum bags.

Normal leopards. Dragons. No, it's trust in politics. That's boring. Politicians who deliberately lie could be forced out of office. I mean, this seems to be going completely against the grain of the international trend. Could have put an end to Donald Trump's dreams of becoming a member of the Welsh Senate, but... I hope if it passes they call it Pinocchio's Law.

There should be some sort of klaxon every time a lie happens. Rrrrrrrrrr! Trap door. Boo! Gone. LAUGHTER It's just mad, though, because I like it in theory, but... Wales. Mm. LAUGHTER But it's this mad thing, isn't it, where they want to restore trust in politics, and you start thinking, like, obviously now we feel like

we're living in exceptional times, but I just don't know when this bit was. Was there a point where peasants were wandering around making the sheriff godfather because he was such a steadfast chap that everyone trusted? No. I don't know when this mythical time was. I think it was when Prescott punched that guy.

Yeah. I think rather than restoring trust in politics by stopping politicians lying, we should restore trust in politics by letting them lie and not making a fuss about it, like in America. Because it is quite chaotic, Welsh Parliament. So I've met two Welsh MPs and one of them could only lie. One of them could only lie. And... LAUGHTER One of them could only tell the truth, but you can only ask them one question. LAUGHTER

You should be able to fact-check everything. Because if you could really rigorously fact-check someone like Trump, and really sort of point out, like, no, this is all lies, the only thing I wouldn't want to go is, um, slagging the other people off. Because it's quite fun when the attacks get personal and that's sort of subjective so I think you should still be able to insult someone's

appearance or character but just not in an unfactual way which means it's going to be so much more hurtful if you get insulted as an MP and then the fact checker goes no no you are a fat lazy piece of shit actually. and then the fact checker goes, no, no, you are a fat, lazy piece of shit, actually. LAUGHTER Moving on now, this can go to Ian and Hugo. Kemi Bainock warned this week that if the Conservative Party fails, what will be lost?

Some of the sharpest political minds of our generation. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE You think that's ridiculous, but what she actually said was Western civilization. Yeah. Literally what she said. Because there's something quite, in a way, nice about politicians at the moment going, there's a massive, massive threat and I'm going to save everybody from it. Because you're kind of like, yes, there really, really is.

Although when you drill down with Kimmy Badernock and people like her, when they say there's a massive massive threat what they mean is drag queens. I don't know, I'm not sure that right now this week that's the biggest threat. Could be wrong. Also it's always, largely seems to be the Conservatives are people on the right who ask the question, what is a woman? And in a great light they've sort of tricked you going, what is a woman then?

Go on then. So the time we spend answering it is because they've asked it. And also when they say it stops you dealing with other challenges, whenever you've got another challenge, like when Stam is going off and discussing what to do in Ukraine with other European leaders, they're not starting the meeting by going, but first of all, let's get to the bottom of this. What is a woman? And then we would know, then we'll discuss Ukraine.

Yeah, it just seems bizarre. She's obsessed with pronouns. And of course, Western civilization is they, them, as in they will be fine without you, can't they? A lot of people who get angry about pronouns are also the type of guys who call their car as in, they will be fine without you, Kenny. LAUGHTER A lot of people who get angry about pronouns are also the type of guys who call their car a-her. LAUGHTER It's really weird though, that conference thing

that she was at, wasn't it? Yes. Oh! It's the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship. What is that? That's a weird collection of words, isn't it? It's the Alliance for Ir lines for irresponsible citizenship next door, but nobody turned up and somebody's having to slash out one of the windows. It's like... Nigel Farage was speaking there, looking like if you wished your ashtray to become a human being.

He said some bizarre stuff in the speech. He says he wants higher birth rates. But he said this is a quote that I may not necessarily be the best advocate for monogamous Heterosexuality or stable marriage having been divorced twice. This is in an interview with Jordan Peterson I think it would have been funnier if you said I'm not necessarily best advocate for monogamous Heterosexuality and then the two of them just started kissing Jordan Peterson was like really central to the conference, but he also interviewed Kimmy Badenough this week. They did a long podcast, it was an hour and a half long, and genuinely the best and funniest bit of it is when she has to explain to him

what a Liberal Democrat is. And he's so confused. He goes, well, if you look at the main three parties in Britain, there's the Conservatives, there's Labour and there's Reform. And she goes, no, no, no, there's the Liberal Democrats. And he's like, the what? She goes, the Liberal Democrats. And he's like, who are they? And she's like, well, they're sort of nice. They run, like, local stuff really well. And you're kind of like, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very Very very and he was so confused at the whole concept show them a brochure of a center park somebody paddling and zip lining and that's what

a liberal's deprecation sign But this is it isn't it's where we need more people saying this quite a bit out loud because his two big themes at this conference I think were declining birthrate. Okay, he wants more people in the country and Stop immigration You want fewer people it will somebody say the bit in the middle out loud so we can stop pretending he is normal? He doesn't just want more children. They've got to be Judeo-Christian children.

I mean, Andy, you're literally Judeo-Christian, aren't you? Yes. So it's basically more Andy Zoltzmans. I don't think so. Yeah. A whole nation of Andy Zoltzmans. Nigel Farage's dream. I think that would suppress the birthrate long term.

An army of mini Zaltzman. Who knows Andy and Zaltzman? Love it. Back to the show. Kevin Badenock claimed that Western civilisation is, quotes, in crisis. And if you want evidence of that, Kemmy Badenock gave a speech at a right-wing conference in London at which 4,000 people paid hundreds and hundreds of pounds to attend to complain about free speech at a massive conference when they could say whatever they wanted.

Anyway, strange times we live in. Ticket prices were up to £1,500, which you might think is steep, but where else are you finally going to get to hear what Nigel Farage thinks? LAUGHTER Well, that brings us to the end of this week's News Quiz, and the final scores are 10 to Laura and Zoe, 12 to Ian and Hugo. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much for listening to the News Quiz. I've been Andy Zoltzman. Goodbye. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Taking part from the News Quiz were Ian Smith, Zoe Lyons, Laura Lex and Hugo Rifkind. In the chair with me, Andy Zoltzman. An additional material was written by Christine Moriggs, Peter Toulouse, Simon Alcock, Laura Major and David Duncan. The producer was Rajiv Kharia and it was a BBC Studios production for Radio 4. Hello Greg Jenner here. I am the host of You're Dead To Me from BBC Radio 4. We are

the comedy show that takes history seriously and then laughs at it and we're back for a brand new series, series 9, where we're covering all sorts of things from Aristotle to the legend of King Arthur to the history of coffee to the reign of Catherine of Medici of France. We are looking at the Arts and Crafts movement and the life of Sojourner Truth and how cuneiform writing systems worked in the Bronze Age. Loads of different stuff, it's a fantastic series, it's funny, we get great historians, we get great comedians. So if you want to listen to You're Dead to Me, listen first on BBC Sounds. I'm gonna talk to you about an undercover mission. I need two officers to infiltrate a gang dealing drugs.

Hate to break it to you, Clinton, but we ain't street. We're just doing a spot drug dealing. You got this. What? Take this sh** of the bank. This sounds dangerous. It is. There was drugs, nudity... This goes all the way to the top!

God, I've always wanted to say that! I need you to bury this body. Aaaaaaah! Black Ops. All episodes now streaming on Hulu.