From the Kitchen Table: The Duffys - Best of the Duffys: Above All Else We're Family

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

As summer quickly approaches, families across the country are celebrating graduations, prepping for vacations, and more than anything, are looking forward to spending more time together. So, in honor of another summer of fun rounding the corner, Sean and Rachel look back on one of their favorite conversations about what it means to be a Duffy. Follow Sean & Rachel on Twitter: @SeanDuffyWI & @RCamposDuffy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hey everybody, welcome to From the Kitchen Table. I'm Sean Duffy along with my co-host for the podcast, my partner in life, and my wife, the great Rachel Campos Duffy. Wow, that's a great intro. Thanks. Listen, this is our favorite time of the week, our podcast that we take your listener, viewer questions, and we answer them. And so we got some really good ones this week. Let's get right into it. and we answer them. And so we got some really good ones this week. Let's get right into it.

They want to know, did you always know that you wanted to have a large family, or is that something you grew into? Let's start with you, Sean. No, I did not always want to have a large family. I'm the 10th of 11 children. Did you love that experience? I was at the end. I was the 10th. So my parents were a little older. They were a little less hostile probably as parents. You get to calm down a little bit with age. A little more lenient. And so my experience was probably different than my older brothers and sisters.

I loved a big family. I loved when everyone came home for the holidays, and I loved to see everyone in the summer. And, I mean, when people are home, it's like chaos in the kitchen and chaos at the table and conversations, and this roar happens in your house. I actually, I loved that. And even now, I'm older, but people come home and the stories that they share and the lives that they have and the relationships that are built, it's really wonderful. But when we got married, I didn't anticipate that we would have a big family. I was open to children.

I'm Catholic, as are you. And I was open to having as many kids as God offered us. And for me, it has been a wonderful experience. Listen, I love having kids. And again, I'm not going to minimize. It can be chaotic. It's a lot of work. But the joy that comes from the work and the chaos is real.

And I've talked about this before. There's so many, like my life would not be the same without my kids. If I, I mean, I like to go on vacation with you if I can, but I like to do things with the kids. I love, like, so again, we're in New Jersey. We're going back to Wisconsin for the summer. I don't want to go back to Wisconsin without my kids. I want them all there. I love to be with them on the lake. I love to go skiing with them and paddle board and swim and all those things. I love all my kids to be around and share those experiences with them. I like a campfire with all of them. And yes, it's crazy.

You don't want a campfire by yourself? No, I don't. Sometimes a campfire is nice with you, but a campfire is fun with kids. Yeah, for sure. And they're doing s'mores, and they're dropping marshmallows on their shirt, and they're getting burned. And the older kids are playing great music that we never, you know, not our music, their own music. It's chaotic, and it's awesome. So I didn't plan on it, but I love it. Yeah. Well, it's so funny.

I thought I came from a big family until I met the Duffy. So I'm the third of four kids. I have two older brothers. And then I have a sister who's younger than me, but we're super close in age. We're only 14 months apart. And so we kind of were raised like twins. And I thought I was in a big family. I grew up watching The Brady Bunch. It was my favorite show. And that was six kids. And I think it sort of like had this, listen, culture matters, right? And I think it sort of had this impact on me where I thought that seemed really fun and I wish my

family was just a little bigger, you know, like the Brady Bunch and I'm sure that had something to do with it. Of course, I married into your family and you know that when we first started dating and early years of marriage, I was so fascinated by the dynamics in your family. I thought it was beautiful. I loved the way your parents lived in this town, and so many of the other siblings lived there, and they met up every day, and at least on a weekly basis, at church or after church. They'd meet for coffee several times a week at the coffee shop. And they really, you know, sort of integrated their lives together.

And I thought it was beautiful. Did I plan on having that many kids? You know, look, I remember we had this discussion about kids with Dan Bongino once. And I told him, I'm not on birth control. And he said, that's a Fox News alert. So I'm not on birth control. And, you know, we just opened our hearts and our home to whatever God would send us. And I have no regrets about that decision.

I wouldn't send one of them back. them back. And we ended up at the very end here with little Valentina, who has Down syndrome, but is like the joy of this house, like everyone's favorite family member is, is Valentina. And, you know, when when Fox surprised me on Mother's Day by bringing out my mom, I am absolutely convinced that my mom did not who's afraid of flying, by the way, and doesn't like to fly. And I beg her to come all the time. And the fear of flying prevents her from coming often. I feel like, I know for a fact she came because she wanted to be with Valentina, not me.

But anyway, I love that we have a big family. I think it's been the best decision we ever made was not making a decision about how many kids to have. And it's really, I think, enriched our lives and made us just sort of more open and flexible. And it's helpful. Listen, you had relatively easy births. You have your great pregnant, your great kids, and you look great after nine kids. So, like, the process of childbirth and having kids, I mean, you're beautiful in that stage. Yeah. I do.

I loved, I didn't, I didn't hate pregnancy. But, you know, look, the last few months of pregnancy are hard. It's hard to sleep. And then that first year with the baby, with nursing, with, you know, all the adjustments you have to make, it's really hard. But boy, the best advice I ever got, Sean, was a woman, and I still don't know who it was, but somebody told me once, don't, because, you know, if you have a baby, if you have, like, three babies, and you think about adding, or, you know, three little kids, and you think about adding another, it can feel exhausting just the thought of that, because that first year is so hard. It's hard, yeah. With a newborn. But this person said, don't think about the number of kids you want right now.

Think about how many you want around the Thanksgiving table 20 years from now. And that is like the best advice ever, right? Because if you allow yourself to not get bogged down in the hard stuff, that will end. You know, that phase will end. You will stop nursing at one point. Then, you know, or phase will end. You will stop nursing at one point. Then, you know, or they will stop getting up in the middle of the night. And you think about that.

I mean, we had that moment this Christmas where we had all of our kids home. We had, you know, my sister's kids, my brother's kids. We had, I think, like, was it 18 kids here? Yeah. And then the adults. It was like the craziest Christmas experience, and it was the most beautiful. So for me, even when we don't have your siblings and their kids over, and let's say we have six of the kids and not all nine of the kids, it feels kind of empty.

Yeah. It's first everybody. And you'd be like, six kids, that's packed. But it feels odd. I think it's a wonderful thing. Just by the way, ever since Rachel and I have been married, we've had children in diapers. And Valentina, she's three, and they take a little longer to potty train when they have downs. And so she's still in diapers.

We have not been out of diapers in our 25 years of marriage. Maybe one day we'll get out of diapers. Yeah, but this year, because Valentina, she's three, but because she has special needs, she actually goes to school where she gets her therapy there, and she's integrated into a class. They kind of start them early, so they kind of get used to school because they need that extra time. And so anyway, this is the first year that we've ever been alone during the day, which is why we're doing this podcast. Sometimes we have Valentina here.

If she's under the weather or she has the day off, then she's here and she's interrupting our podcast. But generally, I mean, we've been married almost 25 years. This is the first time that we've ever had days free. Everyone at school. Yeah, everyone at school and no kids yeah it's and it's actually kind of been somewhat nice but kind of also i mean i just and i don't want to we'll go on the next question in a second um if i was to think about how much more money would i have if i didn't have these kids because kids drain resources yeah I never think

like that I'm actually delighted to go I wouldn't I would pay any amount of money to make sure I had them all yeah and there's other people who I know our age that you know that will fly off to here or go on vacation there they do a lot of their lives are different than ours you went home but I think ours are very full with all these these kids. Can I say this, too? So when... By the way, you will, too.

I mean, I think you'll... It's hard. And sometimes in it, like you said, you can be like, what the hell am I doing? I know. Sometimes it's crazy. But if you make the decision of a big family, I think your kids are better. I think you're better. I think your life is better and more full.

So I would highly recommend it. It's a really great thing. I will, too. I want to say two things. First of all, to your point, absolutely. I think our kids are better for having lots of siblings. I've had teachers tell me that they can tell that children like ours come from a big family because they are just more helpful. They're kind of used to not being the center of attention and think that the whole universe revolves around them. Because when you're one of nine or one of 11, you realize that you're not the center of the universe and you have to help out because if not, your mom will want to

kill herself. So, you know, you're part of a family, you're part of a team, you have to help, you have to share. And I think those are all really good, good things that good characteristics good virtues that come out of being in a big family that's not to say that as a mom it hasn't been been hard and I remember you know multiple pregnancies going oh my god I'm pregnant and what I love about you Shawn is that every single time I was pregnant, or found out I was pregnant, and was feeling exhausted just at the thought that I was going to be pregnant again, you were excited about it. And that excitement allowed me to not dwell on the hard part and think about the good parts. And that never more apparent to me than our last pregnancy

when I got the call, not just that I was pregnant because I knew that part, but also that I got a call that she was going to have heart problems, that she had heart problems and that she had Down syndrome and it was sort of a shock. I't expecting that i immediately called you when i got off the phone with the doctor and your reaction was so priceless um i remember i'm like sean um are you sitting down yeah why did something happen no i thought it was good news i'm like what well i was like sit down and then i told you that you know the doctor called me and told me this. And you were so excited. You're like, well, Rachel, we know Cole, who was Congresswoman Kathy McMorris Rogers' son,

who we did know was like a 12-year-old with Downs. And we knew other families with children with Downs. And you're like, everybody we know says it's the best thing that ever happened to their family. They like them. They think they're great kids. And the fear just left me, you know, the sort of questions that I had, everything just left me. But there's not none there.

There's not none. I'd had nine kids, but I'd not had one with Down. The experience with others, right? What others have said, this is a pretty good experience. It's not horrible. It's going to be pretty good. You're going to enjoy your kid with Down syndrome. Yeah.

Okay, well. And we sure are. And we sure are. And then you really took the fear out, and then you sort of picked up everything and said, okay, we're going to have to change our lifestyle. And that pregnancy became the impetus for you to making, I think, a really life-changing decision to leave Congress and sort of go, okay, now it's time to really focus in on our kids this one. We don't know how much time we're going to need with her, but we're not going to shortchange her. And Rachel was, by the way, not happy that I was like, I got to change.

I didn't want any more change in my life. Rachel makes a lot of decisions in our family, if you can't tell from this podcast. And this was the one that I was like, actually, no, I'm leaving. And she was like, no, you're not. And I'm like, listen to me. I'm leaving. We can't. Our family can't.

Our family can't do this. You definitely. There are certain moments in our life where you make, you go, you know what? I'm making this decision. And you did. And in hindsight, you're like, you know what? That was the right decision. That was absolutely a lesson for me as a spouse on going, boy, you were so wise in that.

And I was being ruled by my emotions in that situation because I was, you know, just the unknown of you getting out after having been in Congress for 10 years. And even though that was a hard life, I knew how to do that life. Right. And this was a new thing. And anyway, it's always great. And you were awesome. Yeah. Lots of kids.

Lots of kids. Let me get to our next question, Sean. Listen, sometimes just don't plan it. As you were going to ask the question, you don't have to plan your life out. Yeah. Right? Some of the best. You don't have to have it all charted.

Let your life just kind of develop in front of you. Yeah. And how many kids you're going to have. Unplanned pregnancies can lead to unplanned joy. Yes, well said. We'll be back with much more after this. Welcome to the A World Business. Billy Bob Thornton, Demi Moore, and Jon Hamm star

in a new Paramount Plus original series. The world has already convinced itself that you are evil and I am evil for providing them the one thing they interact with every day. You're all right. Here we go. From Taylor Sheridan, executive producer of Yellowstone. Get everybody back. Go! Go! You just put a giant bullseye on this place.

We rolled the dice one last time. Landman, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. Do you have any favorite shows you are watching? Do you want to go ahead? Well, I want to talk about shows that you and I have jointly been like, wow, this is an awesome show. We loved This Is Us. We did love This Is Us. We had some issues with some of the things in there, but for the most part, we were riveted.

We loved it. We thought it was awesome to have a story that was all about family, and we loved that. We loved Yellowstone for the first couple seasons, and then we kind of went like, kind of got wokey and kind of annoyed me. And we both like Succession. We do. Yeah. Which, by the way, I finished.

Rachel has not. She fell asleep on the last night. I end up snoring and falling asleep sometimes. I'm tired. Which I really enjoy. You enjoy me snoring as you watch Succession? No, I enjoy watching Succession. I'm pulling up.

So I do Fox Business. Oh, and I love The Crown. Can I just say that? But Sean won't watch it with me. I don't watch it. But when I drive home after my show on Fox Business, the bottom line is from 6 to 7 p.m. So if you don't check it out, you should. On Fox Business.

But I'm kind of fried in the car. Like, it's a long day. And so instead of, like, reading, sometimes I'll pull up shows. And I really enjoyed watching Criminal Minds. It must have been on for, like, seven seasons. I'm going through all these seasons. Well, you've always liked these crime related. He's a former prosecutor, so that doesn't surprise me.

So, yeah, I enjoy that. Well, that's interesting, Sean. Ted Lasso. I like Ted Lasso. You do. And I want to wait for all the seasons to come out before I watch a couple of them. But I've enjoyed Ted Lasso. I'm not so sure about this season yet.

So I'll randomly watch some shows without you just in the right home those are the seasons i i one of my you know guiltiest pleasures is when no one's around and i'm and i'm cooking and i can't have it on when the kids are around um i don't like to but i love to watch the real housewives um and so for me a really guilty pleasure it's because it is that mindless thing that you talk about i just i, I can just, it's just a guilty, horrible, awful pleasure. But I love it. This kind of relates a little bit to what you just talked about, Sean. The question is for you, and it is, how has your career in law impacted your worldview? We know it's impacted some of your viewing on TV.

Yeah, so I was a prosecutor for 10 years. I was the DA of a northern Wisconsin county. Haven't actually practiced law since then. But I do believe in law and order. And having been the, if you will, top cop in my county, I love the power that's given to prosecutors. I love the power that's given to prosecutors. When you have good people who can use that discretion that prosecutors are given to look at the full person, look at the crime, look at their history, look at their background, look at some of the problems in their lives, and make good decisions for your community. Because some people are bad and have a bad record and are doing bad things, and they need to go to prison for a long time.

And there's some people who make mistakes. And need a second chance and there has to be some punishment for the crime but they they they deserve some some some more leniency and um i thoroughly enjoyed the job um and i see today that with many prosecutors the discretion that that I think prosecutors should have has been abused. So now these prosecutors are just not enforcing the law. And what's going to happen is we're going to roll that discretion back and it's almost going to be check the box prosecution, which again takes a lot of factors that good people should consider in these very powerful positions. So I get frustrated at these prosecutors in these big cities who are liberal and are undermining legislators who pass laws with criminal statutes and they don't

enforce them. And they have the right to not enforce them, but they should enforce them. But also when I was a prosecutor, and I've said this before, I was really bad when I started. I couldn't try a case to save my life. Everyone's bad when they start something. I got to be really good at it. But it taught me how to argue facts and speak in front of a jury. And that was very good in Congress. We all watch the congressional hearings now, but when you have your five minutes to ask questions, I was not just reading off a script. I was actually able to ask questions and listen to the answer and then jump back in and actually get the answers, get the questions answered or push witnesses harder and further. So it was helpful as a member of Congress to do that. And I think to ask questions at Fox, you do a lot of that when you're a lawyer.

So that's kind of my take on it. I also think like you did so many town halls and, um, but a lot of that connecting with people, you also had to connect with the jury. And so you learned how to connect with people that way, which I think was really beneficial. It was, it was great. It was interesting to me when you became a prosecutor, I never understood how great of training that was, um, to become a lawmaker, a congressman. But it really is. You understand the law. You understand how to make arguments.

You understand how to communicate those ideas to your constituents. So it was good. I learned a lot through you being a lawyer. A couple of things. You know, it's not long after you left your job as a prosecutor, the whole idea of pot legalization came into the culture. And there were a lot of people, you know, using arguments about veterans need, you know, to use pot for, you know, whatever reasons. And there were just a lot of push. There was a lot of lobbying for pot. And you had dealt with a lot of people having drug issues and having to go to drug courts

through your... And you met a lot of people in the rehabilitation, the drug rehabilitation sphere, and those drug rehabilitators all told you that pot was a gateway drug and that no matter what people say, if you could control the legalization of pot... They literally went to... Because at that point, people were still debating it, and they would say, you know, we can't legalize pot. This is going to make the drug use spike. And boy, we've really seen that, haven't we? And by the way, again, with discretion, if someone came in with a pound of marijuana to sell in our community, we would try to throw the

book at them. They're dealers. But if someone was caught with an eight-ounce bag of marijuana, I wouldn't prosecute those. I'd go, give them a city citation, right? It's going to be on their record, but it's not criminal. Discretion. And you're hearing people like they had a small bag of marijuana and they're going to prison. Listen, I have a hard time. Yeah, of course. But even that, because good prosecutors are making, I think, good decisions. By the way, when I was in Congress, I did a town hall in a big district, a lot of counties. And I would do a town hall at least once a year in every county. And then I did coffees with your congressmen.

And oftentimes, Democrats would come and try to stump me, be mean to me. And I always thought it was my job to let people who agree but also disagree with me come and challenge me and tell me their disagreement and have them hear from me why I'm doing what I'm doing, why I'm voting the way I'm voting or change my mind. And so often you see, especially Democrats, but they run away from the conflict of people who disagree with them. But that is the job. That is the job to let everybody voice their opinion to their elected representative. Now, I don't want to have staged protests and yell downs. I want it to be respectful, but also give people that opportunity. And I think being in a courtroom helped me better navigate those town halls than I would have had I not been in the courtroom. Well, I will say that my favorite politician to vote for that I felt the best was you. And it wasn't just because you were my husband.

I felt like you were truly that responsive congressman. One thing people could never say about Sean Duffy. By the way, your district was a Democrat district. It voted for Sean Duffy in 2010 and has become super red. And I think it was because of those town halls that you were able to explain your policies. You were able to communicate with people. You were at every parade and town hall. People loved you.

Daily breakfast, fair. But you were very accessible. And I think you were really good. Yeah. It wasn't just because you were my husband. I actually think you did a great job. I would have problems if you didn't vote for me. The next question is for me.

If you could run for office, what office would it be and why? I've often said that I want to be – listen, I did a segment for Fox and Friends that I lobbied to do for months. I said to my producers, I want to talk to all the grandmas in Congress, especially on the Republican side, because I know some of them, many of them. And I'm so fascinated by this third act that now because women are healthier and just the way the world is that you know women can you know get married have their kids have grandkids and then go you know what instead of going to play tennis and golf I'm gonna go run for Congress and boy we have some of the best I mean I this I ended up doing it I interviewed all these grandmas in Congress and they blew me away.

I knew they were great. They totally blew me away. The wisdom, the life experience that they bring to their jobs every day and to the conversation, the national conversation, and also the authority. So one of our favorite people in Congress is Virginia Foxx. Boy, that woman, if you don't know who Virginia Fox is, you've got to look her up. She's from North Carolina. She is a fire-spitting brand of a Republican member of the House. And yet she's a sweet, sweet grandma.

But she has this authority about her. And one time she told me this story that she was in a room, in a conference, and she saw a member of Congress, one of her colleagues, speak unkindly to a staffer, to somebody who worked for him. And she did not like it. She went and she scolded him. And then he tried to, you know, like most kids, tried to kind of say that wasn't what he mean and then she got even more mad because you know it's the lie that actually she scolded him on that

and then he he he sheepishly apologized to her and then to the staffer um and that's the kind of thing that i love about her and all the other grandmothers. I don't know how my life will unfold, but I could see myself once all my kids are out of the house. I did love what you did. I think one of the greatest things I'm most proud of is supporting you and being part of that process so that you could, you know, serving by taking care of our kids so you could go and serve our country. But maybe when all my kids are gone, I would like to maybe do that and maybe run for Congress, maybe run for Senate. Yeah. Something like that. It would be fun.

It's interesting because we've had a unique balance in our lives where Rachel has supported me. I've supported her. She's supported me. But it's not always at the same time. Sometimes you've been going on a track and I've been very supportive. Other times I've been going on a track and you've been really supportive. And I think if you look at a single moment in time, it may not seem fair, but over the course of a marriage, I think there's a lot of equality in how we have supported each other.

And I think that's important in marriages Just to support one another as they pursue these dreams. You'd be a great Will you be like a golfer while I go off to Congress in our in our retirement age? So I don't golf because I know I Early in our marriage Sean had a buddy who said let's go golfing and I had a little little baby I was probably pregnant with another one, because we kept having them. And I was like, listen, you can do anything you want, but golf is not a family sport. I am not going to be spending Saturdays alone while you go golf and have cocktails.

No, thank you. And you said, I can't fly in, I can't get my private pilot's license? Right, because I didn't want to be a widow with nine kids. And I can't have a motorcycle. Beyond that, run for Congress. Well, he did. He bought a motorcycle behind my back and had it for a few months. And I was terrified that he was going to die on it. And I made him sell it.

Because I want you to be alive. A few restrictions. And I worked with those. So I'm not going to be golfing. But listen, I'll be. But you can golf when you're retired. I won't have kids. And I'll be in Congress.

I'll be very helpful. I know. You'll have to help me out if I do that. But won't have kids and I'll be in Congress. I'll be very helpful. I know. You'll have to help me out if I do that. But yeah, that's something I've thought about. I wouldn't, I mean, I don't know what will happen, but definitely doing grandmas in Congress. If you haven't seen that, that's on my Facebook page. It is, it's a fun interview. And boy, those women are amazing.

Amazing. We're so lucky to have them. We'll be right back with much more after this. Here's our last question. How do you handle disagreements with families or relatives that you have differing points of use with? So, I mean, that's something you could deal with, Sean, because your parents are very liberal. Your mom is a Bernie Sanders supporter. So that question is for me because because just as background everyone in Rachel's family is for the most part but we still have disagreements over remember during the Trump years the

everyone was conservative but but there were I had three of my siblings were not into voting for Trump and I was like I was totally in the Trump camp and then slowly they came over eventually once he was elected they were like yeah it's, he's doing a pretty good job. There was a little bit of a, but there was some, there was some disagreements, but not as stark as the ones in your family. So my, so my mom and dad, um, again, they both used to be Republicans. They, they, they're, they're Catholics. They have 11 kids. They, you know, they were fairly conservative in their, in their early years. As they've gotten older, they've become more liberal, which is, by the way, the exact opposite, which is what I think happens to adults when they get older. They become more conservative. Those two, my parents, have become more liberal.

And it's been challenging for me because sometimes they will criticize me for things that I say on TV or things that I did in Congress. And, you know, listen, I don't, sometimes I don't think they had the full story. Yeah. But also because they watch MSNBC and CNN. I mean, I'm like, listen, I don't need you to be my critic. I need you to be my mom or my dad. I mean, enough of the criticism. So we had a little bit of that. But I've gotten to the point now where they were so anti-Trump and they're so Joe Biden. And I could play the Donald Trump game they played with me with Joe Biden with them. But I kind of choose just to disengage. I mean, I love them. And I think there's a way to just go, I'm not going to talk about politics because we're never going to agree. I'm not going to

change their minds. They're not going to change my minds. And at some point, we have to set those differences aside and just be a family. But by the way, for the most part. And for the most part, that is actually how it's happened. In fact, one of the things that really upset you and I the most was when we saw, I think the guy was from Arizona. I can't remember. But there was a guy running for Congress towards the end of your, I think just before your last cycle in Congress, how many cycles did you have? Five, five cycles. So just before your fifth cycle, there was a guy running

for Congress, and his siblings cut an ad against him. And you and I were just, we just thought this was like crossing the line. Because in your family, there's lots of different points of view. By the way, it's not just that his parents, you know, his mom voted for Bernie and his dad did. It wasn't just that. There's all kinds. There's independents. There's people who voted for Barack Obama and then voted for Trump.

People who voted, you know, for Bush, but then voted for, you know, Bill Clinton. I mean, there's all kinds of mixes. I mean, that's what you get when you get 11 kids and two parents. It was a real mix. And I would say your family has been really amazingly united as a family, despite those political differences, which have become more and more stark as the years have gone on. And we were mortified and horrified. And I actually remember doing a,

and there was a guy in Wisconsin that was running, whose parents donated to the opponent, and that became public as well. And so there were these cases, and I think it was that Trump era, where people just kind of lost their minds and turned on their own family, which of course, I think is super communistic. I'm totally against that. Nothing is more important than family. Politics isn't more important than family. And so you actually, one of my favorite ads that you did,

because we had a conversation about that, and we ended up thinking about it, and it turned out that we turned it into an ad. And the tagline, and we had all of his family there. Most all my brothers and sisters came for the ad. it into an ad. And the tagline and we had all of his family there. Most all my brothers and sisters came for the ad. Came for the ad and they said, I voted for Bernie and I voted for Trump and I voted for this person. And I don't vote at all. And one guy said,

you know, his brother who's a fishing guide said, I'd rather cast a line than cast a vote. Right? That was his line. And at the end, Sean said, because I'm not fighting with my family, I'm fighting for yours. And it was a great ad, and it really captured the moment. It was the second

term of Donald Trump. It was right before the election. He was an 18, so he was in office for two years. He had been in office for two years, so the country was really getting divided. There was all that Russia hoax BS and everything that was going on. And, you know, you did this ad where, you know, showing how your family worked it out and your family really has, you know, worked it out, you know, and you had to have those conversations.

But your parents love you. And by the way, just on that ad, I had a brilliant writer on it, Rachel, with that tagline, it was, it was it was and I got some wonderful responses from people who are like you know what because I think everybody was facing that in their families yes that's that's what this is about and so I would I kind of to round this out I do think to your point family is so important and sometimes small fights or political fights can get in the way of the relationships that you have with your brothers and sisters and your parents. And I think you've got to see the long game here. And the relationship with them is far more important than the fight.

And the relationship is so much more meaningful than being right. And at some point, you've got to know where the landmines are and just try to avoid them. And that's not being a winky. It's about being just going, hey, listen, I love you. And we're never going to agree on on Joe Biden. I think he's I think he's a commie and you think he's a great American. OK, well, let's not talk about it. Let's talk about something else. Yeah. Joe Biden is not worth is not worth your family. And so, yeah. So you just kind of learned of what, and that doesn't mean that I'm like this wallflower.

If I'm asked what I think, I mean, it's, you know, I think you know that I'm going to say what I think. And if that comes up in the middle of a family reunion and somebody asks me, yeah, but I try to, you know, at least in the family setting, if I know there's a landmine there, I try not to bring it up. Now, my family is a little different because it's a Latino family. And, you know, I think they're kind of used to more, more being more feisty and we can handle that kind of disagreement and you're wrong and blah, blah, blah. And then the next second we're like,

okay, what do you want on your tacos? That's just kind of how it goes, right? So, but if you know your family is going to hold a grudge or it's going to cause a simmering thing, it's not worth it. Family is what life is about. And politics is about serving family. It's not the other way around. The most important thing is family. And politics is about how can we help preserve and make our families better and more prosperous. I would just say, but one thing that's, and usually there's like-minded people that come from families, right?

That's why most of my brothers and sisters are fairly conservative. Not all of them, but most of them. Not all of them. And my parents used to be, and now they've kind of fallen off. Fauci has made some of your siblings more conservative. The liberals who hate big pharma and all that stuff have become more liberal. And it does go, if you raise your kids one way and then you send them off to be indoctrinated in communist camp,

don't be surprised if they come home and are little communists, which is why, again, it's so important if you care about that family and care about the country, you make sure you get them to a place that's going to educate them and not indoctrinate them. That is the most important thing. And that will bring a lot of happiness. that's going to educate them and not indoctrinate them. That is the most important thing. And that will bring a lot of happiness.

It goes to your point, too. Marry someone that you actually have a lot in common with, that you agree with. Sometimes they talk about opposites attracting, and you and I completely disagree with that. There's enough. We see the world pretty similarly, and there's enough disagreement to go around. There's enough to fight about in marriage did not add politics do you imagine if one of us was liberal

like how much I mean it would just yeah no it wouldn't work it wouldn't work so find someone kind of like you that's because it's a bottom line is like in a marriage is so intimate and politics is a reflection of your values and you know what how you vote is a reflection of what you value and so I think that becomes you know really really important and also Sean I want to say that you know there was a time you know maybe back in the 70s and 80s maybe even the early part of the 90s where you could send your kids off to you know a State College or an elite private college and you know they had their Marxist professors and they'd come home at Thanksgiving and argue with you about Marxism and you know they had their marxist professors and they'd come home at thanksgiving and argue with you about marxism and you know be be super liberal and

think you're fuddy-duddy and then eventually they'd have kids and in a paycheck and taxes and they become you know conservative you know they turn back and become conservative that's not happening the indoctrination has been perfected um and it's been and it's beenrained, not starting in their freshman year of college, it's starting in preschool, which is what Ron DeSantis is fighting right now in Florida and across the country. And so I think what you're seeing is that they don't come back around anymore. They end up becoming that woke, annoying employee at the next place they work at. Yeah, they become activists. They're believers. They're up becoming that woke, annoying employee at the next place they work at. They become activists. Yeah, they become activists. They're believers. They're brainwashed.

And so you're right, Sean. Whatever you can do to take your kids out of these government-run indoctrination machines that Sean calls Commie Camp, our friend Peg Seth calls it Democrat Camp, but it's the same thing. And you've got to take your kids out of that system. If you're a grandparent and you're listening and you're worried about your grandkids and your own kids can't afford to take their kids to a private school, screw the inheritance. Invest now. Get those kids out of those government-run schools. Get them into a good classical Christian or Catholic academy. Don't send them. Don't be impressed by the name brand, Harvard, Yale, University of Chicago,

or even any of these fancy state schools that, you know, have good reputations. Don't be impressed by that. Figure out, you know, Hillsdale, University of Dallas, you know, the school that Ron DeSantis is opening up in Florida now that's going to become, you know become sort of the Hillsdale of Florida. Look into other choices. Liberty University. What's the one in Missouri?

Something of the Ozarks. Yeah, School of the Ozarks, yes. So there are other options for universities. Sean and I figured out that we're just not going to fund our kids to go to. We did it in the beginning. We made some mistakes. And now we have a list of schools that share our values. If you want us to pay for your college or help you pay for your college,

then you have this list to pick from. If you want to do it on your own and go to Yale, it's on you. But I'm not going to give my hard-earned money to a bunch of communists who want to indoctrinate you and your classmates. So that's how we view it. But it's a great point you brought up, Sean. Family cohesion, education is really important. And making sure that your family values and traditions are passed on.

Don't send them to a place that undermines that. That's 100% right. And we're going to beat that drum. I know. We sound like broken records, but we really have thought really hard about this for our own family and for the country. And we really believe it's the way to save America. I want to say this one more time because I thought a lot about how do you save America? How do we right this ship?

And I served in Congress. I was a prosecutor. And I had good power in Congress. More power than most. And I realized that if I want to help save my country, I can't do it in Congress. But I can do it in this home. I can do it with these kids. I can do it with you.

And that is the most power that all of us have is to raise good kids that have faith, that love their family, that have a good, solid education. And by the way, we get to send ours to a classical Catholic school, which we love. Frankly, I would send mine to, I don't, I love that we have this because we're Catholic, but I just want a classical education. I don't care if there's anything else with the classical, but the classical is what matters. Yeah, there are great Christian classical schools. And there are great charter schools that are sort of not really religious, but just teaching in that classical model.

I love that ours is Catholic. But don't just get a Catholic school. Because not all Catholic schools are made the same. Right? There's some really bad Catholic schools. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, our kids. That's part of our journey.

Our kids went to a really wokey, kind of mediocre Catholic school. Yeah. So don't be fooled by the religion. You've got to look for classical. Can I give one little story before we go? Just an example of something that happened the other day. Our kids were taking a bath. This is just an example of what happens when you send your kid to a classical academy.

We're going to do an episode all on classical education, so stay tuned for that. I'm just going to give this little story that happened. They were in the bathtub. It was three of them. It was Valentina was three, Patrick, who at the time was six, he just turned seven, and Margarita, the oldest one, who was eight at the time. And they were in the bath. I'm sorry, she's nine now. That's what happens when you have a lot of kids. You forget their ages. So anyway, they're all in the bath, and they're hanging out, and I step outside to go grab a towel.

And I come back inside, and it's like they're fighting in the bath. And I'm like, hey, what's going on in here? And she says, Margarita says, oh, we're playing French Revolution, and Patrick is Louis XVI. And they're just like, this is the stuff. They understand. My little first and third grader not only know about the French Revolution and the American Revolution, but they actually know the difference between the French Revolution and the American Revolution, but they actually know the difference between the French Revolution and the American Revolution, which is a really important concept that most

people, even in college, haven't figured out. I have not ceased to be amazed at the kind of information and history that they have, the knowledge that they have. The expectation that the schools have of these little kids. I'm amazed every day. We're going to do a whole episode on that because I know a lot of people have a lot of questions about it. But great questions from all of you today. Yeah, thank you for that. And thanks for joining us

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