From the Kitchen Table: The Duffys - Creating A Love That Will Last ft. The Bongino's

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

For a special Valentine's Day episode, Sean and Rachel bring Host of Unfiltered on the FOX News Channel Dan Bongino and his wife & business partner Paula Bongino to the Kitchen Table to share their love story.   Dan and Paula share how they met, reveal details of their first date, and give their best advice for staying in a happy, healthy marriage.   Follow Sean and Rachel on Twitter: @SeanDuffyWI & @RCamposDuffy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hey, everybody. Welcome to From the Kitchen Table. I'm your host, Sean Duffy, along with my co-host for the podcast, but also my partner in life, Rachel Campos Duffy.

That's right. Thank you, Sean. And happy Valentine's Day. Today, we're going to have a very fun conversation, something that we love to talk about, which is love and marriage. And we have, you know, I think one of the coolest parts about working for Fox, Sean, is that we've been able to make some pretty cool friendships with some of the people that work here. And one of our best friends at Fox is Dan Bongino. And you guys all know Dan Bongino as sort of this, you know, fiery guy comes on and he's, you know, telling you what he thinks about everything that's going on in America. But if you know, Dan, Sean, you know, that he's kind of a teddy bear deep down. Listen, this is a guy, if you shouldn't have a cup of coffee with him, he is like, or a cup of margaritas or a margaritaita or a glass of wine. He is a teddy bear,

you're right. And he's a guy who cares about politics passionately, but you see that same passion he puts towards politics, he puts towards his marriage and his kids and his family. And so I thought it'd be great, again, on Valentine's Day to have a conversation with Dan Bongino and his wife, Paula, who we got to know very well as well. That's right. So Dan and Paula have been married for a while. They met when he was still working as a secret service agent. They went on a blind date, which is kind of fun. But anyway, we thought, let's get their love story. Let's find out the story behind them. And I think it's a way for us to, on Valentine's Day, celebrate love, but also celebrate marriage and commitment. So undervalued in our culture. What you're going to see is usually we have

these podcasts at our kitchen table, but we went to the Bongino house and sat down with Bongino's in our home in Florida and had this conversation with them. So you're going to get a taste and flavor of these questions we asked about love and marriage and family and how they met. And what I love about this conversation, which you guys are going to, you're going to, you're going to hear is that they're really honest and we're honest too about marriage is awesome, but marriage is also challenging and difficult. And they really kind of laid into their own marriage. The Banchinos, both of them, they do not hold back. They tell the truth. And you know, Paula is a Colombiana.

And so, you know, she's feisty. And I have to tell you, I can't imagine anyone but Paula married to Dan. It's funny. You know, he's such an alpha male. Then when he's next to Paula, you see that, you know, she kind of keeps him in check. It's pretty clear. He wears the pants, but not all the time. Yeah, not all the time. Paula is definitely the brains in that operation.

And she's his business partner as well as his wife. So again, this is the Bon Gino love story. And this is our tribute to Valentine's Day, to marriage, to love, and to commitment. We hope you enjoy this conversation. Take a listen. So Paula, Dan, tell me how you met. It was a blind date. Yes, it was very blind. It was only one way blind. It wasn't really met. It was a blind date. Yes, it was very blind. It was only one way blind. It wasn't really blind. It was halfway blind.

Was this pre-Google where you could Google somebody? Definitely pre-Google. Yeah. Well, the image search on Google was probably in its infancy in those days. So was this a friend of yours that set this up? It was, yeah. His cousin was dating one of my friends So I said to the cousin I said to my cousin Todd. He's kind of a cousin by marriage I said hey because his wife Margo had been a friend of mine. I was joking I said a Margo you have any sisters we're kidding and she goes I don't have a sister

But I got this friend Paula and I'm oh, boy, now I'm in this. I'm going to have to rock and roll with this. That's right. But, Paula, you actually saw what Dan looked like before you guys met, right? We did. No, I did not, actually. I did not. He told me I could, but I did not.

Tell us the story. We were talking on Friday. We were going out on Saturday. And he said to me, if you want to know what I look like, you could check out Wednesday's Newsday. Do you remember that? She always says it with this. No, no, no. It's exactly how it went down. She always adds this drama to that.

But here's the funny thing. She's telling this story. She always and i never i never looked at the news here's the no no i said i never looked at it before we went out well yeah that's the because i was i was not on doing any fox i was a secret service agent and i was at the u.s open with hillary clinton and they had taken a picture of hillary and i'm in the background protecting hillary with this smug face on and i I swear, I really just thought to myself, that way she thinks I'm ugly. She won't show up. She takes it as this big, like, oh my gosh, hey, look at me. I'm like the most not they look at me now. I told him the news day. Yeah,

I told him my Wednesday news day is in the garbage. Did that tell you everything you need to know about Paula? So wait, wait, here's, is where this gets great this is so we go out on a date and i don't know three or four dates whatever she's reading this book it was like a mob book right or something right right i was like she loves mob stories right so it's a paperback and she's out of it we had she had a small apartment and i'm looking like oh i'll pick up this book and this is the greatest thing ever. The bookmark. I was not supposed to find that. The bookmark is the picture of the news day. She cut it out. I did. I did.

I did. It was her bookmark. It was her bookmark. I only cut it out after I met him because I fell in love with you so quickly, my love. Yes, that's why. So give us the first date. How were you jealous of the first date? It was the first date.

We met at a bar. And so I told him I was wearing black pants and a red shirt. I had no idea what he looked like. He just told me, I'm wearing light pants and a baby blue shirt. So I'm looking around. I'm looking around. So I remember the Motorola StarTAC. Remember that?

I had a StarTAC phone. So I call her. And I said, what are you wearing? She says, yeah, it's black pants and this red shirt. Now we're in this bar, Sullivan's in Queens. And it's an outdoor bar, half outdoor, half indoor. It's packed, crowded. So there's a line outside.

So I can see outside. I can see the line. So I'm scanning, scanning, you know, like a good agent. I'm scanning. I'm like, black pants, red shirt. And I'm like, please God. And I look and I'm like, is that her? Now I'm like, I'm in love. And I'm like, please God. And I look and I'm like, is that her? And now I'm like, I'm in love instantly.

I'm like, holy Moses. You know what she looked like right away? Remember Vanessa Marcel? Yeah. The actress, General Hospital. And Prince wrote this song about her, the most beautiful girl in the world. That's all I could think.

I cannot marry this man. That's all I could think. And I said, thank you, Lord Jesus, for making this wonderful woman. And I said, thank you, Lord Jesus, for making this wonderful woman. And I was with my friend. He had a friend there for a reason. He was, you know, in case it didn't work out, he was going to be like, I got to take my friend home. So were you nervous then?

You're like, listen, now she's beautiful. Now there's some stress. 22 coronas. So I was way beyond nervous at that point. So what did you think when you first met Dan? I mean, I was just like overwhelmed with him. It was a good date. We talked all night.

It was. I think she thought I was a little, maybe had one too many adult sodas. Yeah, but no, it was a great date. I was a little bit of a party. His brother was there. His friend was there. I think at one point they were showing me their abs or something. I'm like, I love this date. This is a good date. Some things never there. I think at one point they were showing me their abs or something. I'm like, hello, this is a good date.

Some things never change. That may or may not have happened. Yeah. That may or may not have happened. Yeah. I was totally, really fell in love with him. I was like, ah. Yes, yes.

It was a good date. How long were you dating before you knew, okay, this is the man I'm going to marry? I've got to tell you, it was one of those dates where I just said, we talked all night and I found him because he told me, oh, I'm this big guy. And I just found him so smart. I just kind of knew it was, it was pretty instant. I mean, we took off right after that. Yeah, I couldn't, I was like, how long did you date for? We were dating about a month before we moved in together. Okay. So it was pretty quick.

And then 9-11 happened. We met September 1st, 2001. We went on two dates. And I went away on a trip with some girlfriends. And then 9-11 happened. I was panicked. Right, he was. Because I used to work down Wall Street.

And my building used to look right into the towers. So that day, he didn't know I was away. He just kept calling and calling and calling. And I didn't want to be a weirdo. Like, I'd only been dating her two weeks, but she's not answering the phone. And now I'm like, my gosh, you know, she's going to see like 75 missed calls. She's going to think I'm some kind of wackadoodle. I didn't know what to do.

And then finally, she calls back, and she's like, you like you know all everything's i i swear i thought she was dead i did i was like i can't i can't hear back from me until friday yeah and she said i'm at my mother's in uh las vegas and i was like oh my gosh thank god but you know i mean you want to talk about like forged in i mean it was just the craziest thing. I mean, I'm an agent. She works down at the pit. You know, my brother had worked for the fire department. I mean, it was just so good.

We met like such a whirlwind. Right. And then, you know, it's crazy. Not to belabor the point, but right after we met, I had, like I said, I had a few adult sodas that night. I was a little too much of a partier in my younger days. And I was, the second date I a partier in my younger days. And I was, the second date,

I show up, remember this? Yes, I open the door and he's like, oh. And I'm like, he did. He goes, oh.

And I'm like, what? And he said, you are good looking. I'm like, okay. That really happened. Because I swear, like in my head, I was like,

I knew, I remember, you can't just do a Google search. I had no picture. We didn't take a cell phone selfie the star tech didn't have an instagram page nothing I really had I knew she was beautiful and it was a great date and I couldn't wait to see her again but I swear I had very good recollection of what she did I have beer goggles on or was this real what was it and the door opened I was like thank you that's exactly what he did i'm like what and i tried to contain it but i was like let me just be honest and i think i told you the vanessa marcel thing he did yes he did tell me my gosh and i couldn't believe it i'm like she looks exactly like her i was like a star so you guys

you guys meet a month later you move move in with each other and then how long after that do you guys get married we well that's the story with each other. And then how long after that do you guys get married? Well, that's the story. We kind of did everything backwards. After that, we moved to Maryland. I think about a year after we met. Secret service. So we moved to Maryland.

We bought a house. And later we got married. So you guys are all... Your lives're like, your lives are committed. You're living together. You're building life together. And after that, you get married. Well, we knew we were, really, it was more of like a financial limitation.

I mean, I knew I was going to marry her. It's just marriage in New York is expensive. It's like a job. I mean, really, we got married. You see the picture behind us when you walk in. We got married at Ohika Castle in New York, which is the second largest private residence in the united states i mean it was like i mean buying a house getting married you know but yeah i mean we knew you know we we had we had so much in common and yet we were so different like she was a web developer super smart with tech and all that stuff i couldn't

even turn on a computer and you know she can be like shy sometimes and i was like the outgoing guy and yet i'm the one in the house who's kind of more shy and reserved and she's the one who kind of takes charges so it's just it's like a yin and yang everywhere you know complimentary yeah a hundred percent it was totally supposed to be yeah so this was love at first sight pretty much yeah pretty much and you've been married how many years 18 18 18 years right we just we um back in in september we celebrated 20 years of just since we met yeah that's a long together 20 years but i know that sounds like crazy like the whole love at first sight maybe smitten at first sight i don't know but i i was like i was in i remember i wrote an email to myself

on my Secret Service account So someone in the government yet I say probably has it right now like reminding myself of the monk case I forgot like how special it I thought that would be cool to have thinking I'd be there forever and I could go look at It later and then of course I resigned and I don't have the damn thing Right me what did you have yourself? I just like I wanted to be reminded about like the majesty of that first date, you know, because you, you, you, that's the kind of thing. He never told me this. Yeah. You

want to say, I wrote myself this email. I did. And you want to like savor it forever. Like every moment and what you did. I mean, it was pretty long. It was like 10 paragraphs long. What? And, uh, I, I, I wish I would have like printed it before I left. Cause I didn't want to forget anything. Cause you know, listen, marriage is you guys know it's it's work man it's work it's good work it's lifelong it's the best job you'll ever have but you have to work at it and you know when things get a little rough you got to remember the good you can't always because you tend to like focus and oh we gotta fight it's all over it's the end of the world it's not like the end of the world there were like 10 million good times for the you know hundred or so times you guys are like at each other's doors and i wanted to remember

that because it really was an incredible first date best first date i'd ever had i was like just totally head over heels can i ask you about that because i think like on our podcast and we'll frequently say marriage is not easy marriage is really hard right and i mean and again anything you do in life that has great reward takes a lot of work and there's a lot of, you know, angst along the way. And I think so many people today think that marriage is just easy and sunshine and roses and unicorns. And it's actually really tough. Well, they get out as soon as they think they hit those stumbling blocks. I think, I don't know if you agree, but I think you're doing people a huge disservice if you tell

people otherwise. I think the ridiculous divorce rate we have is because people have this Hollywood idea of what it is. It's the most rewarding experience of your life. I mean, you know Rachel. Rachel knows Sean. I know Paula. Paula knows Dad better than anyone. My mom, my dad, my kids. I mean, she knows things about me no one else knows.

But by us telling people and leading them down this primrose path that it's all going to be rose petals and, you know, Aesop's fables, it's childish. That's not what it is. You're two human beings who are flawed. And, you know, you're going to bump, especially us. I mean, listen, we're stubborn. I mean, we were fighting last night. We were. We were. Over were fighting this morning. Over something so ridiculous. I have nothing nice to say about him right now. Over the most ridiculous story. That's what I said last night.

And then you're like, it's Valentine's Day. They hug it out, right? Right. But I really do. I think you're doing them a huge disservice by telling people that, that this is like, oh, yeah, don't worry about it. We always joke that when we hear people say, we never write them like they're getting divorced. Yeah, we are.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I hope they have a prenup. Yeah, I hope they have a prenup. Because that's just not true. Well, also, you're married to a Latina, and we have to say what we think. I know.

Exactly. Yeah. Tell him, please. Tell him. I don't think you think so. So tell me, what's the biggest challenge, not just to be married to Dan, what is the biggest challenge about being married to Dan,

but what is the challenge of marriage? what would you tell someone who's thinking about being married about what that big challenge is no when you have children you both have different ideas of how you want to raise your children and sometimes we don't we don't always agree and I mean it took us a long time to to find a way to communicate so that we can make that work. But it's weird because, like, yes, she's correct. Raising kids is the toughest job, most important, but toughest job out there. These kids, you know, they cry and they break my heart. And he's like, no, you got to be tough.

But that's the thing. It's possible. And then last night, this is the funny thing. Like, she just said it. The arguments, like, shift back and forth. Last night, she was telling me I was too easy. And then I'm always telling her she's too easy. And I'm like, wait, that's my fight.

You're not allowed to have that fight. That's my argument. Right, right. You know, when they're babies. But when they get older, they give him this sad, we have two girls, and they just come, Daddy, and they give him this face, and he just folds right away.

And I'm like, come on. But I'm the tough guy. Right, right. Yeah, I'm the tough guy now. So what advice do you guys have? So for married couples to make it and to go through those hard times, what advice do the Bonginos have for a successful marriage? I remember when we first met, we went to your grandparents' anniversary. celebrating yeah that's right they were celebrating 60 years of being together and of marriage and they were just dancing and just having a good time and I remember looking at him and I said one day I want that they were just so cute and when we bought the house in Maryland grandma Ann she came over by that time Grandpa had passed. She came over and she said, Paula, sit down. I want to have a talk with you. And she told me how marriage is hard.

Nothing comes easy. And she said, there were days I just wanted to walk out that door and just leave. But she said, those hard times, when you get through those hard times they're just going to bring on happier times and i just always try to remember that whenever we had really bad fight remember she told you i remember because this must have deeply because she's told me about this quite a bit right didn't she say to you as well like you'll have good days and bad days like good years and bad years and good decades and bad decades right and i thought 60 years together that's right that's why their picture is right there because it was special world war ii veteran stormed the beaches of normandy my grandmother like the hardest worker ever and you know i i

think also though a good piece of advice is you got to commit to it like i'm serious i mean that word commitment gets thrown around but if you're looking for a way out, you'll find it. It's like, if you're looking for a reason not to work out, trust me, you'll find it. Marriage. You'll find it every day, right? You'll find it. I'm tired. I didn't eat well. It doesn't matter. You'll find it. After the laundry.

I gotta clean the counter. You'll always find it. But really marriage is the same way. It's like, if, if, if you're not, if your end game is you're looking for an out, you're going to find it. So just forget it. Like, it's over before it started. And I would say second, because, yeah, I mean, we've had some really, like, rough times through it. Is I think one of, like, the darkest times where we were really, like, at each other's throat a lot.

We've been through a lot. Like, the Secret Service, the campaigns. You won. We lost. I mean, losing is a lot harder like the Secret Service, the campaigns. You won. We lost. I mean, losing is a lot harder than winning. Luckily, you don't know that. But the campaign is tough. The campaign is, people are writing about Paula, like, Dan Bongino's pro-life.

He should have aborted his wife. Like, disgusting stuff. I was like, this is like, and she was reading the comments. But you almost have to like, after that, I think what got us through that is you have to date your wife. It's the most important lesson I tell everyone. Say that again. Say that again. You have to date.

Your wife is not your kid's mom. What? To your kids? What? Whoa. What are you saying? I don't mean that like a weird. Your wife.

I remember this friend of mine, Brian, who ran for office himself. He's a super nice guy. He's got quite a few kids as well and he's i never forget this he said once one of his kids had yelled at the mom you know and he said don't you talk to my wife like that in other words like yes we we have two kids me and paula and i'm the father they're the mother we are a family and quite happy one at that But you know my relationship with my wife is my wife and my relationship with my kids is my relationship with my kids and You have when you start looking at your wife time for each other only like the parent to your children It I don't know

I think it just did a lot of like like, it does a lot of damage, as the only thing, when you start to remember, like, the person you had a lot of fun with, and all that, and you're like, oh gosh, this is my, my, my, this is my woman, this is my girl, this is my girlfriend, this is the woman I married, I'm telling you, like, we started going out on date nights again, and stuff, and ironically, we became better parents, I think, too. Do you do that now, do you guys do date nights? We, yes. And we, we do it often. Now we go out with friends more, but we, you know, we used to, we used to clean out that bar a little bit sometimes on the side. I like what you just said that actually you were better parents, better family. When you took that time to date each other. I think that's brilliant.

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Now it's no secret you guys have had a crazy year. There's been ups and there's been downs. Let's not beat around the bush. You were diagnosed with cancer. Yeah, it was rough. And my question to you is how has that impacted your marriage? How do you, I mean, I know. You just look at everything differently. He called me and he said, Paula, I didn't go with him for the MRI because I was picking up the kids.

And I really didn't think anything of it. I thought it was a fatty tumor. So he called me and he said, Paula, it's not a fatty tumor. And I just remember my heart. It just. You remember outside? Yes. He came came home you have to understand like I get these fatty tumors everybody has them and I get them often and they're nobody

they're little lumps and they're not cancerous right they're not anything you cut them out or you leave them whatever it doesn't really matter and when I had the lump that's what we thought that's why she I mean you have to understand like neither one of us even thought it was a possibility she was like yeah go ahead get the thing and if I thought it was cancer I would have been like come along right but ahead, get the thing. And if I thought it was cancer, I would have been like, come along. But that's how little we thought of it. You know, I go in the machine, the MRI, and this doctor, this guy Todd, really nice guy, the radiation oncologist came there, which was super nice. And I came out of the machine and I looked up and I remember saying, hey, it's a fatty tumor, right? And he went, he said, you got to put your clothes on.

Like, you have the hospital gown on. I was like, oh, damn. And then i came back and paula was walking lucy and we were just like crying i mean i couldn't because remember i didn't know what kind of cancer it was could have been like stage four something right that was the worst part not knowing yeah i mean it changes everything not knowing what he had not knowing what stage and you know all this material right like houses and cars and paychecks you know the first thing that came to my mind was my gosh like i'm never gonna see my youngest turn 18 like that was the one thing the one thing like i felt like with isabel i remember saying my my now 18 year old like at least I had that time with her.

18 years, like this sucks, and if I go, I go. But I had 18 years with her, and she'll have 18 years of memories. And I remember thinking, my youngest, she's not going to remember any of this. She was nine at the time, you know? Right. And she was actually eight, and I was like, gosh, like she's not going to remember any of this. And it was just devastating.

But yeah, we went through a lot, man. That really hardened us. It's one of those things you can have a lot on the personal wealth side. But if you don't have your health, that's... You don't have anything. You don't have anything, right? Right. And then you start thinking, well, how is life supposed to go on without him?

Right. How much did you lean on Paula during this time? Oh, my gosh. Everything. I mean, the chemo thing was the word. Radiation was easy. You just get... You don't have a feeling. You get zapped and you walk, the chemo thing was the word. Radiation was easy. You just get, you don't even feel anything.

You get zapped and you walk out. Nothing happens outside of the radiation. But with the chemo, you come home and you just, I don't even know how to describe it. It's just like the worst hangover you ever had and like being sick on top of it. And it was just weird. Like you're almost, you know, the worst part of chemo for me people laugh like it's how funny it was the hiccups the hiccups they give you large doses of dexamethasone a corticosteroid it makes you hiccup uncontrollably all the time so i couldn't sleep at night because the dexamethasone

also wires you up so all night either me or her and they're sleeping i'm up at night because i can't sleep she She's like a baby. Miss Elise, I could do that, guy. She's like burping me like a baby. I felt so helpless. I felt so helpless. Full circle moment. Right? Right?

Back to the womb. I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do for him. Nothing. So he was like, Paula, you gotta help me. I'm like, okay.

Just slam me on the back. I'll slam you. And hours a night, she'd be sitting there and I'm like, this is why your wife knows more about you than anyone else.

Although the Fox audience smells it and then the podcast audience right right he was trying really the podcast yeah I never skipped the show

he was doing the podcast with hiccups I was I was producing back there with him so it was just the two of us in the room he would have to

right we had to edit the hiccups we would have to stop the show it was hard if you listen to that episode, the interview we did with General Flynn, it skips all over. That's because Paul is editing out the hiccups. And we had to apologize to him. He remembers it probably like 20, 30, sir, I'm sorry. I can't, it's the dexamethasone. I said, really sorry. We never skipped the show. The only show I ever

skipped was when we got the Rona. When got that was it that I tried you guys work together I mean, that's a whole other dynamic. So what do you what what do you say to people who go? I want to work with my spouse good idea that idea We haven't had any issues. I don't think you know, I think we both kind of thought that too like my gosh Like we're I mean we're around each other Not figuratively like all back there with each other six hours a day and we were expecting over here with each other the rest of the day it was fine but we didn't have like and matter of fact you know what was funny i think

doing the show helped right because sometimes once in a while not often but like maybe twice a month we get into some like spat before the show or whatever. And it would become a joke on the show. And by the end of the show, we'd be laughing about it. And I'd be like, audience, Paula's a little mad. She'd be like, I'm not mad. I'm like, you're like laughing, right? Right, right.

And I'm like, Paula's upset at me. I know. Poor producer Joe. He got to hear it all. Oh, poor Joe, my producer. He's in Maryland, but he could hear the whole thing. That's right. He's like, I'm staying out of this one.

Paula signs the text. Joe, I'm going to mute that mic. So Paula, we all watch Dan on TV, podcast, radio. He's a pretty hard dude. He throws heat. He speaks honestly and boldly. And I would go, how is it for Paula to live with Dan Bongino? Does she get a word in edgewise?

And how hard is Paula to fight back against Dan Bongino? How is it? Or does Dan soften up? Does Dan's softer side come out? He's got, yeah, no, at home, he's not like that. That's why I tell you with the girls, he's a big softie. My oldest, Isabel, she'll go directly to him because she knows if she wants something, she has to go to him.

He's the yes man? He is the yes guy. And the little one is learning that. He is learning that quickly. But she will. So, you know, she'll sit right here on this couch, and the studio's in the back. So there have been a few nights I've come down, especially with Geraldo.

When I've come down, she'll watch it on Hannity and she'll be like, she'll be like, what do I say? I think the worst was CNN. Wait until tomorrow night. What was the CNN? Oh, when I had it out with Don Lemon. Don Lemon. Oh. Oh, boy.

Yeah, before I was a Fox contribute, I had a big fight with Don Lemon on CNN about the Second Amendment. Right. And it was nuclear. And she called me and she was like, holy Moses, did that just happen on the air? I'm like, yeah, it did. Like, that just went down like that. I think we were trending for like two days on social media. You were, yeah.

And the other one is with Geraldo. I was in the bathroom. I remember that. And all of a sudden I hear cursing and I'm like, what? I was brushing my teeth. I'm like, oh, no. Oh oh no oh no what's happening i better get a glass of wine she's developed over the last you know 20 years a very good sense of of of you know which is good because she runs my business of what's good and what's not like you know when i do that my favorite i'm not saying this because you're here i swear i my favorite i'm not saying this because

you're here i swear i have no reason to like virtue signal to you guys my favorite appearances are the fox and friend weekends because i one i i know all of you very personally and second it's just long like we can just go there's no you know rap rap i mean i can say you know and i'll come down on some saturdays and she'll be in the kitchen having coffee over there. And she's just like, man, like that was really good. And then sometimes like, I want it to be good and it's not, she'll be like, no, it was no good. And I'll be like, no, it was good. She was like, no, it's no good. I'll be like, no, it was really good. No, it's no good. I watched one of you guys eating the Burger King Whoppers with the fake meat. And I think they expected that to be a really good segment.

Like, oh, this is delicious. And you're going to be like, this is crap. Oh, shut the fuck up. Dance, dance, throw it. You and I are like, you're like a lumberjack testosterone machine. I'm like the MMA broken nose, busted up knuckles, you know, beat up old scruvly dude. Like, you're going to give me a I want a burger that thing's gonna

stay beyond me it better damn well be beyond me and behind the scenes for the Fox audience so they sent me that burger the night before

me too yeah the thing was in my fridge in the hotel room so I'm eating so when Burger King's defends it was a little cold it was not fair on Burger King

but it was not a fair but the Whopper even though it was cold the regular Whopper did taste good but I love segments like that I Yeah. I watched that one too. I'm like, this is great. But I see the bumper sticker. I said, give us the cow. No, just eat the cow. Just eat the cow. That's right. Yeah, that was hilarious.

So I'm going to get a little bit deeper on something that has been, I find really fascinating about your background. And I want to learn a little bit more about yours in this regard. Being married, one of the things you learn is that you bring a lot of stuff from your own background into the marriage and you have to sit through and go, I got to keep this stuff. I got to get rid of this other stuff. You came from a rough childhood. Maybe you tell us a little bit about that and then specifically how it impacts your marriage. Like, how does that color the way you want your marriage to be? Yeah.

I mean, listen, there's nothing like the love of a dad, you know, and I don't blame my parent, but they got divorced. They just, it wasn't working out a lot of reasons. And it's just tough. I mean, there's really nothing worse than like waiting on the weekend to see your dad. Nothing. I mean, just the love of a father is just different. I mean, it's really a travesty, this, this destruction of the American family and this crisis in fatherhood, because as you know, and I think me and you can speak to personally,

the love of the dad is different you're physical with them different the way you kind of play with them is different i mean i used to throw my daughter up in the air and catch her and maybe she was fine like that was just my thing and it was like you know the love of a dad and the way they talk to the kids and the way they relate to them is just totally different and not having my dad around all the time was really, it was really, it's just a horrible thing. I mean, it's one of the worst memories of my childhood. And my mother had married a guy who was not a particularly great guy.

And it just, it to me kind of made hard the concrete that I was not ever going to put kids through that, that no matter what the personal crises I was going through with or what, or me and her, that we were like plowing through no matter what. I mean, she doesn't know her dad. I mean, she hasn't seen her dad in forever. So it's like, we both were never going to repeat those generational mistakes. This whole idea that the last generation had about it, you know, oh, you know, divorce, it ain't so bad. Listen, sometimes it's necessary. I get it.

There are really abusive people out there and stuff happens. But let's not sugarcoat it, okay? It's not a good thing. You need your dad. You need your dad around. And I'm not leaving my kids, like, no matter what. That's not happening. So, and I think you, you know, but you're a dad.

Right. I also grew up without a father. And my father wasn't present at all i didn't have a weekend dad either so i haven't seen my father since i left columbia and so i had a single mom my mom did everything for us she worked three four jobs just to pay the bills we lived in a little room we she rented in a house and it was the four of us in this little room. We had one bed and my mom used to work nights. So the three of us used to sleep in this bed and we were used to sleep head, you know, head, right? Yeah, right.

used to sleep head, you know, head, right? Yeah, right, right. My poor brother used to have to sleep on the floor, but it was rough. She worked really hard, and she just said to us, you got to work really hard and make something of yourselves. She just pushed us really hard. I think one of the most touching moments, too, because I had my dad. I mean, he wasn't around, you know, but I know it was just a custody thing, whatever. But we get along great now. And one of the most touching moments in our relationship, one day her phone was sitting around or something like that. That was like two weeks ago. No, no, no. It was longer than that.

I told you again two weeks ago the story because I wanted you to know. But this is a while ago. And I see her phone ring and it says, Dad. And it was my father's number and for some reason that touched me that she had stored in her phone my father's dad and I thought like really you know boys girls men women they crave that fatherly relationship and it's our responsibility as men if you screw that up I'm sorry I just don't don't, I can't respect people. His family is like my own. I loved his grandmother and his sister is like my sister, Sister Kelly. She's like my sister.

And his dad, he's so great. He's always checking in on the kids and always, every time we have something, he's always present. And I never had that. I want them to have grandfather and family around this thing remember that Chris Rock special right Chris Rock you're supposed to take care of your kids I always think about like if you can't get that right like he was joking but he wasn't like that's your job that's it okay you don't you know you don't get medals for that's what you do and you know me being a believer like that is your job you You screw that up. You can have all

the money in the world. You're only going to be remembered by your kids as you fail. And that's it. Then it's over. I think that's one of the big problems we have now in America is you see so much fatherlessness. You don't have dad's presence present. And so many people discount the value of a man in the house. And I think a lot of kids get misdirected and go in different directions that aren't healthy because dads aren't with moms. And I just, and I'd like maybe you to speak to this. I think if conservatives were able to go, listen, I have one job. Yes, school boards. Yes, Assembly and Senate and Congress and Senate and President. Those things all matter. But if I do this one thing, my family right,

if I get my family right, and every conservative got their family right and raised good kids, I think the future is bright. But if we don't do that, we start trying to change everything else when the thing that's closest to us that we have the most control over, we don't pay attention to and that's why i think we want to talk about marriage because the foundation of a family is marriage well i think there's two things that makes me think it makes me think of that old andrew breitbart saying like politics is downstream of culture right like you

forget the political fights that doesn't mean a damn thing if the culture rots. And I think the culture is downstream of the family, right? Which reminds me of that very successful Jordan Peterson book. She loves it.

12 Rules for Life. Right, right. You gotta make your own bed first before you change the world. Well, I think that applies to us dads, too. You know, I'm sorry,

like I said, you said before, and you were right, we were talking, like, how do you live with Dan? He's like this flamethrower and he comes down, he speaks. Well, we need to speak boldly about that too. You know, we shouldn't shy away from that. You know, oh, great. We're talking about tax cuts. Listen, I love tax cuts. I want to keep my money.

Like I'm a Reagan, economic conservative. I get it, but that's all fantastic. But if we score up our kids, like, what do you care about the tax cuts? Like, does it even matter? Like, I'd rather pay 29, rather 28% have a generation of good, healthy kids than pay nothing and have a generation of kids raised in fatherless households. It's probably the biggest cultural crisis of our time. Fathers, I can't explain it, Sean, but they just love differently.

It's not better. It's not worse. We're different. It's not better. It's not worse. It's just different. And anyone trying to pretend like this is some new genderless leftist utopian society and you don't need a dad. No, you do need a dad. I did. She did. We all do. And if you don't find a dad, you're going to find one somewhere else. You're going to find it a gang. You're going to find it in that kid on the street. Who's nothing trouble you're gonna find it and it might not be in the right spot so i want to sum up what i think i've learned from you guys about your love story one love love at first sight can happen it can definitely happen commit and have no way out, right?

Like you're in. That's it. You're in. Yeah. It's okay to fight. That's right. No highway exits. Yeah.

It's okay to fight and know that you can come out the other side. It's healthy to fight the right way. Date your wife. A hundred percent. Did I miss something? Because I'm loving all of this. Yeah. The date thing is real i you know i i really if you to all husbands out there if you're having that crisis and you're thinking like where do i get that spark just remember this woman you love was once your girlfriend and she's still your girlfriend nothing has changed

nothing has changed you loved her then. You love her now. But we do. We tend to have that marriage thing. When you get married, you tend to look at your wife only as your child's mom. And that's not how you should be looking at your wife. I'm sorry. She's your wife. It's your child's mom.

It's a family. We get it. But listen, it works for me. And we've been better parents because of it Paul Last last advice for our viewers who are listening. Oh, I guess patience to patience is important I say it takes patience to live with Dan Fonty I suspect that Dan wins 80% of the fights fights on tv but in the house you win 80 no no she always tells me no that's what he said she always tells me she goes darn you should have

been a lawyer you're a lawyer you're a prosecutor i should she goes you're so good at this right don't you always tell me that she goes don't ever that once you debate that's it but if i'm wrong i know i just said whatever i don't really care i just don't want to hear it i'm seriously i i'm like i love the big but i will say this like the thing is if we're wrong i think we both make a point to try to if you're wrong like you're wrong there's no debating being wrong and saying sorry is not a bad thing right to go wrong i'm sorry it's no you have to do it and if you can't do it you don't forget about a marriage you don't belong in. And if you can't do it, forget about a marriage. You don't belong

in any relationship. You don't belong in a relationship with the guys in your baseball team. You're going to screw up and not apologize? What kind of person does that?

We'll be back with much more after this. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario.

Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now dine-in only until 11 a.m they want me to wrap but i have to ask this question before we go it's a little out of sequence but i just i still want to talk about this year like how it i feel like people think about i'm going to get married and something could happen to me you know i could have that bad moment like the day that you you know found that out yeah i mean how has this year been i tell you everything changed so quickly we were out saturday night celebrating his podcast was number one um social media right parlor parlor hit number one. Parler hit number one. Rumble was a top of the chart.

The website was the fastest growing thing that article had been written. Right, the website was fastest growing. We went out Saturday night to celebrate with some friends. Sunday, he says, Paula, what is this on my neck? And that's how quickly life changes.

So that's why we try not to waste any time with each other. But can you imagine having gone through that alone? You know, these people looking for a perfect time to be married. I asked them like, well, what's a perfect time to be alone? Like never. Right. What, what, what have you ever handled better alone? Seriously. What problem have you ever not benefited from having someone else's input, especially the person who knows you best? I've got greater wisdom here, and so do you, right? Listen, I do.

And the fact that she has such a different, like she was a computer web designer and one of the best ones around, and she sees the world in kind of a very quantitative, analytical place helps me so much because I tend to see it. I'm emotional. You never guess, right, from Fox. Sean's like, I'm stunned, but I am. He's always crying on TV. Yeah, I know. He cries in movies too.

I know. I'm like, I really am a big mush. And I think the Fox audience, it only sees this like, you know, 230 pound dude on TV. And I do get fiery, especially on the segments like this weekend, you know, this past week, I don't know when this is going to air or whatever, but Rachel and I did a segment about police officers being shot. That means a lot to me, but it means a lot to me because I am a big mush and I really love these guys and what they do and it comes across, I think, and having someone to ground me all the time and see the world from a different lens. Again, what problem have you ever handled better alone? There's no perfect time to get married, but there's definitely

no perfect time to be alone either. Well, I think it's neat about you two as well. And I know, again, I'm going to go on a second, but what I think is neat about the two of you is that you're a team and you work together, you partner together. And I don't think Dan Bongino is Dan Bongino without Paula Bongino right it's I mean you wouldn't be here I think without her and for the two of us we are where we're at because of the partnership and friendship and support that we each give each other and I think you guys have that in spades and we don't always get to see you Paula but as we hear Dan tell the stories it's like this was a joint venture this was a partnership where Dan sat in front of the camera but you're

behind the scenes thinking and navigating and working and strategizing to make this whole thing launch, which I think is pretty cool that, again, this is a team and a friendship and a partnership. You can't rap, and this has to go in the show. I'm hijacking the show again. I just have to say how weird it is watching you guys my whole life on camera. watching you guys my whole life on camera i tell you this all the time rachel and you always laugh when i say it but like i was a monster fan before mtv went super he got me into it when we yes thank you thank you marathon and like watching you guys i felt like before i even met rachel or you i swear i felt like i legit knew you. Because I want you with your hair. Remember you had the part? Oh, I do.

Thank you, Dan. I appreciate it. Great glasses. Oh, listen. It was just, I just watched you guys and it's just so like how the world, man, how it's all come so like 360. How I'm back in a living room

watching and staring into the eyes of Rachel and Sean talking about a love story I watched growing up right back to the start I didn't get any 250 or Pascal you know God and Jeffrey kind well it's been so great getting to know you Dan especially because getting to know you means I've gotten to know Paula and Paula it is very clear when when you hang out with you especially when you hang out with you, especially when I hang out with you guys together, it's so obvious how much of you is part of what everyone sees on Dan Bongino's show and all his appearances.

You are the, I don't like to say it like this, but she's kind of the brains behind this operation. No, it's not wrong. Are you okay with me saying that? I would debate you. I love debating, but you're wrong. Are you okay with me saying that? I would debate you. I love debating, but you're right. Point conceded.

I'll take it. Fifteen, love. You watch tennis? Fifteen, love, toughie. Yeah, you're right. She is. Well, your love story is inspirational.

I hope other people learn from it. I think you guys are real. You didn't sugarcoat, you know, some fantasy story. And like you said, it's a disservice

to anyone who's thinking about going into marriage to hear, you know, that it's. And like you said, it's a disservice to anyone who's thinking about going into marriage to hear, you know, that it's false expectations. It really is. It's, it's the most rewarding relationship of your life. And, but rewarding things, you know, what's that famous quote, right? The heavens have a way of putting a price on things, right? If it was worth having and it was easy, everybody would do it. So why do so few people stick it out? Because they're not willing to pay that price. And the price I'm willing to pay is, you know, the price of commitment and the price of not giving yourself a highway off ramp. You know, you have to stay on the reward is awesome. Great marriage. Amazing. Thank you guys for talking to us and sharing your story.

You guys would be willing to open up like that. Thank you. You're welcome. This is great. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Paula, so much for giving us your love story, your advice, your encouragement on love, on marriage. If you enjoyed this conversation, we did definitely let us know,

subscribe, rate, review this podcast at foxpodcast.com or wherever you download your podcast. We hope to see you around the table next week. And we both wish you a very, very happy Valentine's Day. Bye, everybody. ever-changing times. You can rely on Fox News for hourly updates for the very latest news and information on your time. Listen and download now at foxnewspodcast.com or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.