From the Kitchen Table: The Duffys - The Duffy's Guide To Couples Quarrels

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

Sean and Rachel revisit a discussion about marriage and love and share what they believe is the right time to bring your significant other home to meet the parents. Later, they explain how to handle fights in a relationship, the things they have clashed over in their marriage, and answer questions about the duo's future in the world of politics. Follow Sean & Rachel on Twitter: @SeanDuffyWI & @RCamposDuffy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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slash rightsizesavings for full details. Hey, everyone. Welcome to From the Kitchen Table. I'm Sean Duffy, along with my co-host for the podcast, my partner in life, and my wife, Rachel Campos Duffy. Sean, it's great to be here and I tell you, this is going to be a fun episode. Yes, it is. We've been wanting to do this. We added this third episode because people have always had a lot of questions about life, about Fox, about marriage and kids and schedules. So we said, listen, send us your questions. And we had some great questions, some like basic stuff, some deep stuff.

Let's just get right to it. So here's the deal, though. As we do this, Rachel went through the questions. So she's seen them. I have not seen the questions yet. So she's probably had a chance to think about that. I haven't because there's so many. I literally saw them, and I would just screenshot the questions that I thought were good.

So anyway, let's get to it. So some of the first questions we got were about, and I thought it would be good to get some of these out of the way, our episode on dating and how to find love and what to do because we think that's the most important thing in life is finding love and everything else will work itself out and we think that dating apps and using tech and all that stuff is actually hindering people's ability to do that so people love that episode it went viral but they had more questions so i thought we could address some of those okay and then some love questions and then get to it. Okay. So when should you introduce your date to your family and when did you end up meeting

each other's families? That's interesting. That's a good question. It's a good question. So you brought me, so first of all, let's address when you should do it. I mean, I think getting to know, I wish I had met your family earlier than I did, and I bet you probably wish you had met my family earlier. I think it's a great insight into who that person is, and I think it's very instructive to meet the family. And I ended up – Sean tricked me. Let's just say this. I did trick her. Sean tricked me. So he knew that if. I did trick her. Sean tricked me.

So he knew that if he was going to marry me, he wanted to be in Wisconsin. I did. I love Wisconsin. I didn't know much about Wisconsin at all. And Sean did a very sneaky thing, and he brought me to Wisconsin in August to his parents' cabin by the lake. Have you ever seen on Golden Pond, you know, these idyllic, you know, white families that live on lakes? That was it. I've never experienced that before.

And they have this beautiful family of, you know, he has, a lot of people don't realize Sean has 10 brothers and sisters. He's number 10 in 11 people. And so I went out on this beautiful weekend, and I met all of his family. I think one of your sisters was getting married. Yes. It was a second marriage, so it was kind of a really low-key thing, but it was really beautiful. And I think your dad officiated that second marriage, if I recall correctly.

You have a great memory. I don't know. I know. But anyway, I went. I got to see this little town for the first time. And I got to meet your parents. We all went to the cabin and hung out for the day. And I just thought I was fascinated.

I was fascinated. I thought I had a big family because I have three brothers, two brothers and one sister. There's four of us. I'd never seen anything like it. Everyone goes to the coffee shop at least once or twice a week, and they all meet there. And your mom keeps her own coffee cup at the coffee shop. And it just was like it was a throwback to another era. I got to meet his family and understand where you came from.

I thought that was really instructive for me. It made me a lot more interested in you. Yeah, and I think you got to know who i am where i'm from um who my family is by the way just to go back to the lake you thought that's kind of wisconsin until you came yeah that was the trick he brought me in august and it wasn't until after we were married that i experienced you know 20 below january in wisconsin which is especially for my girl from Wisconsin. So- Oh, girl from Arizona.

Girl from Arizona. So to get to the question, I'll talk about meeting your family as well. But I think if you think that you are in a place where this could actually go somewhere, this is someone that you actually could marry, right? If you're at that phase, you're thinking about that. I think it's important to go,

hey, I want to meet your family. You should meet mine. But if you don't think you're going to be with this person, bringing loads of boyfriends or girlfriends home to meet your parents, I think that's exhausting. I'm a parent myself. Don't exhaust me. Don't make me go through that process. Yeah. If you're serious, it doesn't have to end up in marriage. But if you're in your mind, you are there, this this could be real, bring them home and don't wait. Bring them home as soon as you can.

I agree with that. I agree that it should be serious. And by the way, if the person that you are starting to feel serious about doesn't want you to meet their family, it could be a red flag. It could be because the person that you're thinking about marrying, a lot of their traits, a lot of their idiosyncratic behavior comes from their parents. A lot of the wonderful qualities, but also the dysfunctional qualities will come from their family. And so actually, and we all have those. Yeah, every family is dysfunctional. But you want to kind of see how deep those dysfunctions really go. What about somebody who is a great person, you know, has somehow overcome, you know, maybe some really awful things in their family.

And they are, so this is an interesting thing because they may not want you to meet their family because they don't want you to judge them by their family. But meeting their family is getting to know them as well. That's part of opening up. And are you willing to share? And I think what's important is- Are you willing to accept all the good and the bad? Yeah. And I think, I mean, some people might go, hey, listen, I have some dysfunction in my family. But if you can talk about it and go, listen, I get this is here. I've been working on trying to do it a little bit differently. You're going to probably see this with my family. But if you can talk about it and go, listen, I get this is here. I've been working on trying to do it a little bit differently. You're going to probably see this with my family. I recognize it. And, you know, I want to try to do things a little bit differently. That can be a positive as well. But I think most families are great. Most families are wonderful. And

to see where someone comes from, I think will bring the two of you closer together. Or actually, it might actually drive you further apart, but usually it'll bring you closer together. And it's sharing this part of your life. Sharing the good, the bad, because you can't hide your family forever anyway. You're sharing the childhood. You're sharing the adolescence. You're sharing your upbringing, which these people are such a big part of. And I mean, I also think your parents might know you in a certain sense, and also think your parents might know you in a certain sense and your boyfriend or girlfriend might know you in a different sense. It's kind of interesting to meld those two worlds together. Right. So I think as soon as you for me going to your town and

because I had never experienced like that kind of I mean, it really is a throwback. It's really a wonderful place, Hayward, Wisconsin. And it was, it really explained, it filled in a lot of the gaps and things about you and why you really, it was so, when we were dating, I could tell you really wanted to be in Wisconsin. And I've kind of lived all over the world because my dad was in the military. So I, I'm from Arizona, but I never felt like I have to live in Arizona. But when I went to your town and realized just how deep those roots are, it made sense to me. And it allowed me in some way to start to begin to wrap my head around the fact

that if I do end up with this guy, there's going to be a lot of pressure to be near this state, to be near this town and be near his family because his family, most of the family still lives in that town. And what I know with your family, family is important, right? So they all weren't in one town like my family was, but it's very evident and obvious that your mom and dad believe that family is important. Your siblings believe that family is important. Your mom's an immigrant. Your dad's Mexican-American. Listen, by the way, this is not my background, right? I don't, I, this is, I come from Northern Wisconsin. So I, it took some getting used to, but I really, I really enjoy your family. We spent Christmas at your parents' house. We

spent a lot of holidays with your mom and dad. Your mom and dad have come and stayed with us at our house. I really enjoy them. I like their brothers and sisters. But I wasn't used to that. And it was good to see that side of you that when I met you, I never saw that. We were like partying in L.A. And you didn't know that side of me. And it was an interesting thing that both of us care about family,

but it comes in different ways because my family was a military family. My siblings all lived in different places. But we all call each other, like my mom and my sister and I, we call each other. I mean, just before the podcast, I was on the phone on a three-way call with my sister and my mom. I mean, we call each other not just every day, multiple times a day, which is a very Hispanic thing to do, especially among the women in the family. They're very connected no matter where they are. They call each other all the time. And so you probably were able to pick that up quickly.

Well, because when I was – before I met your parents, you were calling your mom all the time. Yeah. And I was with you anyway. So it was all very interesting. And actually, one of the questions that somebody asked was, what do you fight about? And one of the first, like, big fights we would get into was I would go to visit my family. We were living in Wisconsin as a married couple. And I would go to Arizona to visit my family. And then I would come home, and he would pick me up from the airport, which was two and a half hours away from this little town we lived in.

And as soon as I would get in the car, because my mom would say, you have to call me as soon as you get in. And I would call my mom. And my mom would, and I would just keep talking. And Sean would get so mad. He's like, I drove two and a half hours. I haven't seen you for so many days. Sometimes it could be a couple weeks that I stayed there. And you would say, you're calling your mom.

You were just with her. I just came to pick you up. You haven't seen me and now you're on the phone with her. And I'm like, it's my mom. I have to call my mom. Wildly offended at that.

And I'm like, listen, call your mom. I don't care. But when I haven't seen you for a week and you've been with your mom, don't get in the car with me

and call your mom. Yeah. I mean, what the hell is going on here? Yeah. So we've remedied that since then. We'll have more of this conversation after this. The world of business moves fast.

Stay on top of it with the Fox Business Rundown. Listen to the Fox Business Rundown every Monday and Friday at foxbusinesspodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts. All right. So let me go to some other questions that I got here that were so good about relationships. So again, what do you guys fight about? What do we fight about? You know, I would say that when we were married in the earlier years and money was really tight,

we did argue a lot more about money. Can I explain the fight? Yeah. I thought he was being cheap. So here's the problem. I didn't have any money. Right? And so Rachel would be like, because listen, I had a kid then too.

And I worked in my dad's law office. Then I was a state prosecutor. And I kept having kids. And so Rachel was like, we want to do this or we want to get that. And I'd be like, no. And she'd be like, I can't believe you won't let us do this or get that. You are so cheap. And I'm like, I'm not cheap.

We just don't have the money to get the stuff. And if we put it on the credit card, we're going to have to pay it back. And that means we're going to have less money in the future. And so am I cheap? No. No, I'm not. Once we had money, he's never good. And he brings that up a lot. It's actually, it was a really great lesson to me. I'm quite generous. But it's just when you don't have it, but I think it's important for couples to go, where are you both coming from? Yeah. You never questioned what I buy anymore, but that's because we have money. So I guess the answer is if you don't want to fight about money, get some money. That's not easy. For years we didn't. So here's the problem also. So I would say,

we don't have money. And she would say, let's get this. And then I would say, well, let's look at the budget. I'll show you how much money comes in, where it's going. And she wouldn't look at it. Well, I would, and then I would fall asleep. Right. Which means she doesn't work at it. Looking at the budget, it's literally, I don't know what happens to me. As soon as we talk about finances, it's like I've just taken 10 sleeping pills and I just get drowsy. So now Sean will say, okay, I'm only going to talk about it for one minute. Or two minutes. Two minutes. You have to stay awake for these two minutes. I have to explain something that's happening in the finances that we need to work on.

Whatever. However, if I have to listen to the housewives, I have to be alert and attentive. I have to explain something. Which is more boring than finances. About the real housewives, yes. Yeah, I don't know what it is about finances. Listen, I will say this. One, it's true.

Once we had enough money, it's true. You're not cheap. You're very generous. It's just you didn't. Okay. The second thing I was going to say is I fully and my mother would be on your side about this. That I am fully like 1950s wise when it comes to the finances. I don't want to know about it.

If there's not enough money, just go make more, honey. Because I don't like to hear about it. I don't want to know about it if there's not enough money just go make more honey because i don't like to hear about it i don't want to and i make money i make money and then that would make me mad i'd be like make money and then i make money just make it all happen i make money you make money let's just make it happen but here was a problem with that so the money that the money that i made was our money and the money that I made was our money, and the money that she made she thought was her money. I'm like, that's not the way this works. That's not true. It all goes into the same pot. So can I, I don't know.

We didn't talk about this before. I don't know what we can and can't talk about. So one of the first fights we had is, so Rachel, from a certain set of circumstances, had a little bit of money, and she bought herself a car. It was a little... I had like a little fund. Little white cabriolet Volkswagen convertible, cute little tricky California car. I always wanted a car, a convertible,

because my childhood hero is Nancy Drew. I always wanted to be Nancy Drew, and so I don't think it's a coincidence that my first car that I bought was a convertible because I was always so enamored by her. I thought she was so brave and amazing. It was a great car for Southern California. Probably not the most practical when you moved to Wisconsin with me. And I think that I have the white Ford Taurus or a Concord, whatever those were called?

I did not have a cool car. I was a very practical car. And I was doing a lot of travel when I was, you know, a young attorney. And so at one point, I'm like, we should sell your car. We need the money. Oh, I ran into a buzzsaw on that. They were like, heck no. Well, because I didn't want to have one car.

I wanted to have freedom in my own car. Well, if you were stuck at home. Yeah, I was not. I was an at-home mom at the time, and I'm like, I'm not going to not have a car. Like, hell no. And my mom backed me up on that. She was like, no, you can't get rid of your car. You need freedom, girl.

But we actually kind of fought through that, and we lent it. But here's the thing. Eventually, we had so many kids that it really was impractical, and it was absolutely ridiculous to have a convertible cabrio in Wisconsin in 20 Below. And then one day I had to go to a dealership. It was all arranged for me, and I had to drive my cabrio. And then I drove off the lot with the minivan, and my life has never been the same. Was that the minivan that you got?

Yes, yes. I drove off with the minivan. I thought life has never been safer. Was that the minivan that you got? Yes, yes. I drove off with the minivan. I thought that was the Mitsubishi Montero. No, no. Not the minivan. It was the minivan. We're never going to get to these questions. We have to keep going.

By the way, I love my minivan. The minivan with the sliding doors was the damn best vehicle. That's how uncool I am. Okay. So we've totally – there's a couple more fights. I know. There's a couple more. Maybe in the future I'll tell you a couple more.

You know, here's an interesting one. They said, how is Valentina? Is she able to walk or talk? I have a sister with cerebral palsy. I love Valentina. So Valentina is a little over three and a half years old. And so she's delayed in how she has done things. But she walks.

She runs. She's trying to talk. She's starting to say a few words because she gets speech therapy and physical therapy and occupational therapy at school. She can say hi very well. She says hi very well. She's starting to say school. She can say, I think she can say, she says dad.

She goes, yes. Yes. So she can, she babbles a lot. She's trying to say stuff, but sometimes it's just not understandable. But she is a force of personality. She babbles a lot. She's trying to say stuff, but sometimes it's just not understandable. But she is a force of personality. Like, she is really engaged in our house and who's doing what. And, by the way, she has a really sweet personality.

She's really fun. She is. So she does some sign language, too. So she'll tell us when she wants to eat. Okay, here's a question for you, Sean. I was talking about Valentina, but okay. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. I heard the dog barking, and I'm like, oh, my God, I think that someone's here at the door.

So anyway, I want to keep going. But yes, Valentina. Doing well. I want to move through these. Okay. Sean, would you consider a run for President of the United States or Vice President? So she did not vet these questions for me before she asked them. Listen, I'm going to tell you what.

I love my country and I love politics. And I love every part of it. I love the campaign. I love the service. I mean, as I've said this many times, when I left Congress, I literally had to go to events that were scheduled when I announced I was leaving, and I would stand up and speak for 30 seconds, and I would actually start to bawl. I mean, I was really, like, it was the most embarrassing thing.

I'm like, and then I have to stop and walk away. I love, I love politics. And I think this kind of service in politics is so important. I love, I love being home with you and the kids. I missed a lot of that in Congress. And so I'm really happy with where I'm at. I have no plans, but this podcast and talking about, you know, questions that I didn't get vetted.

One day. I mean, I, I, I don't think that I didn't get vetted. One day. I mean, I don't think – I guess the door's not closed, right? For doing future things in politics? In the future? Yeah, I might get back involved in politics. At what level, what way, I don't know. But I do enjoy what I'm doing now. I could have run for governor of Wisconsin in the last cycle, and I just chose not to.

I think – this goes back to the theme that we always have. The most important job we have is raising our families and having a good relationship as a couple. And politics really is a zap on your time with your family in the campaign, but also the service takes you away from your family. And so we made a choice to go, hey, we got to be together right now, and we'll see what comes around the corner. Sean always says if you want to save America, save your family. Save your family.

So that's where we're at. All right, so would you ever do a real-world reunion? Hold on a second. Would you run for office? I've always said when I'm a grandma, I might really consider that. So tell everyone who you look up to. I always say when I grew up, I may be Mars that. So tell everyone who you look up to. I always say when I grew up on maybe Marsha Blackburn, I did, listen, I love grandmas in Congress. I'm obsessed with

them. They all know it. All the grandmas in Congress on the Republican side know that I'm obsessed with them. I love them. I think that third act is something that you know didn't exist a few generations ago but but women are healthier and able to you know you know do more in in their latter years because of their because they're healthier yes because the kids are grown and I actually did a Fox and Friends segment where I went to the Capitol I met with all these. And I was blown away. I mean, they're doing amazing things. They have an amazing perspective, a sense of history, a sense of family, a sense of where the country was.

Yeah. And where it's at that I think some of the newer members don't have. And I admire them. And one of these days, in a different phase of my life, when I'm a grandma, I will definitely think about it. Because I love this country. But right now, that's not what God's calling me to do. I'm going to tell you one of my favorites is Virginia Foxx. Oh, Virginia Foxx.

I'm her. Can I just start her fan club? She throws heat like no other. And she doesn't give a damn. She is an amazing human, and I love her. I want to be the president of her fan club. She is Virginia Foxx is an amazing congresswoman. From North Carolina.

From North Carolina. If you don't know her, you should. Check her out. No one gives a better tour of the Capitol, by the way, than Virginia Foxx. All right. So the next is, who is your favorite child? Isn't that a funny question to ask? You know, there's only one answer to that. I don't have a favorite child. But you know what? Even Jesus had a favorite apostle. Remember John. So here's the deal.

You can love all of your children equally, but at different phases, like love four four years old is like for me the best four five six seven i love these ages so much because the children are very affectionate at that age they're very i don't know there's just something about it so i i don't an innocent at different phases different ones are favorites and at phases, some of them are my least favorite. So I can just admit that. That doesn't mean I don't love them all equally. And that's not the kids. That's the age.

So the late tweeny, teeny kind of stage is challenging in lots of ways. I don't know. They're just more annoying, I think. But it is interesting that in the Bible John is always referred to as the one that Jesus loved the most now however not to be repeated

right here but our kids will tell us that Rachel has a favorite and they'll say that I have a favorite yeah and they'll call us out and I'm like

but it changes like sometimes they're like oh of course John Paul is your favorite or of course Patrick is your favorite or of course

Lucy is your favorite so depending on they all think somebody else is the favorite which is a good thing i'll tell you the one thing we all agree on the family favorite is valentina valentina everyone loves valentina the most so she can't talk back yeah not yet not yet what was it like working with barbara walters that was obviously for me um with for barbara walters uh one oh yeah what was it like working with Barbara Walters? That was obviously for me. For Barbara Walters, one of the... Oh, yeah. What was it like? You know what? It was a great honor. I always feel like in my career as a broadcaster, I always feel lucky that I've worked closely with Maria Bartiromo and Barbara Walters. Those are two icons of the industry for women who broke all kinds of barriers.

And I've always felt really blessed. I was as nervous getting to work with Barbara Walters for the first time as I was with Maria Bartiromo. I still, when Maria comes on the set, everyone knows that I'm like a fangirl of Maria Bartiromo. And so everyone, or sometimes there's a question of who's going to do the interview with Maria and the boys know that I'm obsessed with her. And so Will and Pete will go, Rachel will do it because they know I want to do the interviews with Maria Bartiromo.

So Barbara Walters was very elegant. She was also, I think because she was older in age when I met her, she was also very honest. I think she was extremely perplexed by my life choices, by the fact that I married you and to a great extent, I gave up my broadcasting potential that I had in my early 20s or my late 20s when I met her. As a young woman, instead of pursuing TV, you moved to Wisconsin with me and we had a lot of kids. I pursued babies. And that was mind-blowing for Barbara. She would have never made that choice herself and was shocked that you were making it. Yeah. And in the end, I would argue it worked out pretty well for you. By the way, I think it would have been really challenging for us had we moved to New York

and we kind of talked about that. I think it would have been difficult, probably for me more. I think it would have made our marriage a lot more difficult. Yeah. I could be happy in Hayward, Wisconsin

and raising babies. And you were. And I was. And I think it would have been harder for you at that age to move to New York and sort of follow what I was doing, whatever I was doing. But anyway, Barbara Walters was not shy about saying, why would you give up what she called a promising broadcasting career? She said to my face as I was holding a baby.

And I said, look, Barbara, being a mom is the greatest job I ever had. That was on air, actually. And I admire her., Barbara, being a mom is the greatest job I ever had. That was on air, actually. And I admire her. I think she made a lot of choices, but just not the choices I would make. I was more interested in having a family and a husband than I was in having a career to her at her heights. And the truth is, she went to the top of her game. And I think it's really hard to have nine kids and a family and be at the top, top, top of your game at the level of Barbara Walters. I eventually found my way back into broadcasting after having a bunch of kids much later in life and wouldn't change a darn thing.

So Rachel also met Florence Henderson, Mrs. Brady from the Brady Bunch. I worked with her. I got to do a show with Florence Henderson. I never met her, but you spent a week and did a show with her. I spent about eight or nine days with her like 24-7. Like it was a show that we were shooting like 26 episodes in the span of eight weeks at a spa. Pretty nice cushy job.

It was amazing, except I had just had a baby. So I was nursing. I had a five-week baby with me. But it was incredible to meet her because I have to say I did that show with the Lifetime Network. And it was called Lifetime Television for Women. And I will give this network credit. Fox or Lifetime? Lifetime.

Well, Fox has been great for me as a mom as well. But at that time, my first experience as, you know, I had my third child. I was, she was only five weeks old. They hired me for this job knowing that I, that I was about to have a baby when they, when they offered me the job and they made it so baby friendly for me to do that show. They, in my contract, I could bring someone out to help care for the baby because Sean was at work at the time and taking care of the other children. And I had a sitter who came out with me, was with me. I was able to take breaks to nurse.

They allowed me to be a nursing mom on set and made accommodations, even though they had a really tight schedule. But what I learned through doing that was I heard the stories from Florence Henderson, who is an amazing woman. By the way, another hero of mine growing up, I think that's why I ended up having so many kids. My favorite show was The Brady Bunch. I loved her. I loved The Brady Bunch. I loved the whole family thing, which is why I think I was so fascinated with your family when I got to meet your family, the giant families. And they were not family-friendly back in the 70s when she was shooting the late 60s and 70s. And she told me so many of the hardships that she had because she was a mom.

And she was playing a mom mom but they didn't want her mom problems um interfering with their schedules and so forth so learned so much from um from Florence Henderson Carol Brady and that was amazing uh for me uh okay let me get to another one here for you Sean okay this is a good one. You both look amazing. What's your workout schedule? And this is a good one for Sean. Okay, so I grew up doing lumberjack shows, competitions. Because he's a better at working out than I am. And that's all I did, right? And so

in the summer I was buff and strong and in the winter I would kind of get a little softer. But you could keep that muscle because you were a young man. And then, I mean, going into Congress I was still fit and I'm going to get to where we are now. And then I had the congressman slide where I didn't work out. Is that the official name for it? I don't know, but that's what I call it. And you put on 20 pounds and I mean, it's just, there's a lot of food. You'll have a glass of wine. You'll

have a beer. And there's, so you just put on weight. And like Paul Ryan worked out every day, every morning. I didn't have the Paul Ryan schedule or discipline, so I didn't work out. I got fat. And I look back at pictures. I'm like, Rachel, why didn't you tell me I was putting on so much weight? And she's like, I did tell you. So here's what I've done. So about two years ago, I'm like, you know what?

I'm done. I'm going to get in shape before I'm 50. And so I started just doing the things that I knew from high school. And then my daughter, my oldest daughter, Evita, works for the Federalist. Who's a highly disciplined girl. She works out like a beast, her and her husband. So she's like, do you want to really know how to work out, Dad? So basically she was watching you work out and she was judging.

Judging. And saying, that is not going to work. That's? So basically, she was watching you work out and she was judging. Judging. And saying, that is not going to work. That's not going to have results. So she and her husband developed a workout plan for me, which I was working out six days a week

for probably an hour and 20 minutes a day. A lot. And by the way, it was nice to get the results of that. I didn't do cardio because I think men

have to actually lift. And I wasn't doing legs. And they were aghast that I wasn't doing legs and that I'm't do cardio because I think men have to actually lift and it wasn't doing legs and they were they were a gas that I wasn't doing legs and the work I'm going to find this I know that's what I love it anyway I'm New Year's Dan Bongino I saw Dan Bongino a New Year's with Fox was it the New Year's show yeah was it was it Fox Nation no no it was New Year's I was there and he was like I've got the best workout. I'm going to text it to you, which he texted to me right then.

He's like, I've perfected this where it's three days a week. And it takes me about 45 to 50 minutes. And it's legs. We hit every category. I don't do four sets of everything. I only do two. So it's a super efficient limited days efficient shorter time I spend less time and have better results with the Dan

Bongino workout but and but so then with Rachel we I tried to do the day so he put Dan put Paula on the Dan Bongino workout and Paul is doing great Paula gave me the Dan Bongino workout and I did it for like a minute and I was like, I can't do this. I gave up. So Rachel does a lot of Peloton, right? She likes to get on the bike, but I love cardio. I think the older you get, you start to lose muscle and you have to, you have to, you have to work out by lifting. And so we've done a number of different exercises for Rachel and she doesn't like it. She'll complain a little bit and then she gets a little bit sore. And so we've done a number of different exercises for Rachel and she doesn't like it. She'll complain a little bit and then she gets a little bit sore. And I'm like, the soreness is

good because you're tearing down and you're going to rebuild your muscle. So Rachel's in the process of going from cardio to weightlifting. Trying to add more weight. And we're going to get there. We're going to get there, but it's hard. I mean, I, listen, cardiovascularly, when I go to the doctor, I have, you know, my heart, everything is going really well, but I am, I am starting to lose muscle. I can see it. Can I tell you the difference between Sean and Rachel? So when it's my day to work out, it's like, I will drop everything that I have to do and I'm going to work out because otherwise I just, it doesn't work. You get, you have to be committed to it. Because otherwise, it doesn't work. You have to be committed to it.

Rachel will say, I have to work out. And she'll do everything possible before she works out, which means oftentimes she won't work out. And I've got to change the mindset. Which means I'm picking up. I'm cleaning. I'm doing this. I'm returning calls. I'm emptying the dishwasher.

But she does walk around in those days in her workout gear. And Sean will say, just because you wear your workout clothes doesn't mean you're working out. Doesn't mean you're working out. And she'll tell him to shut up. Okay, let's do one more. Let's do one more. They want to know if we work out together. Do you want to answer that one? Occasionally we do.

When Rachel will get in sync with me, we will work out together. But I'm going to tell you what. I think for couples, and especially if you can get your schedules in sync with me. We will work out together. But I'm going to tell you what, I think for couples, and especially if you can get your schedules in sync, you're both motivating for the other. And it's actually fun to work out together. We're using different weights. Sometimes we're doing different things, but to be in the gym together, I really enjoy that time. And I think maybe couples that eat together, stay together. Pray together, stay together. Pray together, stay together, and work out together, stay together.

Yeah, okay. So I'm going to do two questions. Speaking of eating together, they want to know if we do date nights. We had a date night last week. So this is something we have to do a better job of. We need to do a better job of it. So I started to do the bottom line. It's on Fox Business, and it's from 6 to 7.

If you haven't watched it yet, you should. But that means that either Rachel has to come to the city and we'll go out after, or when I get home, we have to meet out, right? Or we could do it on the weekends. That's Monday through Friday. And then Rachel gets up at 2.45 on Saturday morning, 2.45 a.m. on Sunday morning for her show, which means she has to go to Betterly. So that makes it harder, but we can go out. We can do a 5 o'clock dinner. We can go out like old people and have Jell-O at 4 p.m. at the nursing home. So we probably get a date night once a month.

But like the Bonginos, again, a lot of things they do, they do well. And they're in a different phase of their lives. Yeah, their kids are a lot older. But they do date night once a week. Yeah. And they're really adamant about it. They don't break that. They don't take calls during it.

They do their thing. And I think it's been really good for us to hear that because we would plan it and then things would get in the way. And so now we're not at the stage of our life where we can actually really be committed. Like every Thursday we go out to dinner or every Friday. But we do try and fit it in.

And one of the things that's great about the fact that we work at the same job is when we are in the building together, and it does occasionally happen, we'll either have lunch together or have dinner together because we're both in the city. But here's just, though we may not schedule date night where we get out. So our older kids leave the house at 6.50 in the morning to go to school.

We get Valentina then up, fed, dressed, and she gets on her little bus to go to services at about 8.15. And then we'll sit down and have coffee together for a half an hour, 45 minutes. It's kind of a coffee date. Coffee date. We do. Every morning we have coffee together. And a lot of times we'll get the kids to bed and go like, let's hang out together.

So we spend a lot of time talking. I like her. I like to hang out with her. And a lot of times we're going in different directions and we have to make sure we're staying on top of each other's lives. And which by the way, that's really important for us. And I think for every couple is to really stay connected like that. And we've always talked about, we don't want to lead separate lives. Leading separate lives is very dangerous for your marriage. You want to lead the same life and share your lives with one another and the people that you associate with and are at work or friends

and we live our lives together. Yeah. We'll have more of this conversation after this. This is a really deep question. We might have to do one question after this because this one's a really deep one. So this person says, I just recently started bringing up all of your episodes. says, I just recently started bringing up all of your episodes. I personally feel like Rachel and Sean are couples goals and family goals. Okay, so enough about the gushing. Hopefully, I'm not too late to ask this question. How would both of you react or handle it if one of your children said they felt like they were born in the wrong body or had feelings for someone of the same sex? they were born in the wrong body or had feelings for someone of the same sex. Interesting question.

It is an interesting question. So I'll just bring up on the trans issue in particular. I think we are living in a time where if my child told me that they thought they were in the wrong body, we're living in a time where we're being told by the culture that the compassionate thing to do is to affirm that and tell them that gender affirm that and tell them and get them on the path to changing their gender. I do not believe that that is the compassionate, responsible, parental thing to do at all. There is pretty good data now on like 90 some percent, well over 90 some percent of children who express some sort of gender dysphoria or questioning will grow out of it. And so this idea that you can take someone 7, 8, 10, 16, you know, even 17 or 18, and affirm that when they

might grow out of it and put them on a path to, you know, mutilating their bodies, taking hormones that will make them infertile later, make them have osteoporosis, because their bones don't grow, or, you know, on the case of men, I mean, their penises won't grow. And if they decide to change back and they change their mind, I mean, these are lifelong, massive implications. And so I believe that I would be compassionate. I think I would be, at this point, educated enough. I'm educated enough to know that there is a social contagion factor to this, that there are forces in the culture, in the school and social media that are pushing kids towards this, pushing them to wonder whether. I just saw a study last week, Sean, I think I showed it to you, that says one in four children today, high schoolers,

believe that they are either trans, non-binary, or gay. Right. These numbers do not make sense at all. There's clearly something happening in the culture. There's clearly forces that are pushing children at this stage to question. And so my answer to the trans in short is I would love them. I would get them help. I would assume that the chances are that they are just at this moment confused, and I would certainly not have them make any physical changes that are permanent and life changing. And all these issues, is this coming from their heart or are they picking this up on

social media? Are they picking it up at school? Are they picking it up from their friend group? What kind of, what is driving my child? And again, is it internal or is it external as a driving factor? But I think you mentioned something really important as parents. We're guides. We're chaperones. We're advisors. And we would do that for our child. I think, again, if you look at, you know, stats, those who would say they're born in the wrong body, that percent is very, very, I mean, minuscule. Gay is a far more prevalent, common occurrence compared to transgender.

And I guess I would love and help navigate. I would love my child through all of it. I would always, in the end, again, I think it's really important. I think what's tragic about the trans situation is that now there, as we would make i think a really loving decision sean to help this person help our child work out whatever is going through that there are forces now saying that i should not have my child um that that that that there are teachers now, we had some on our show just last weekend, who are being punished by their school districts for wanting to tell or telling the parents that the school is transitioning their child, you know, through use of pronouns or even through medical drugs. I mean, this idea of separating the child from the parent is a real thing that's happening.

It's a Marxist-driven ideology to separate children from parents. And just by the way, you and I, this is one of the reasons why we send our children to a classical Christian school is because we don't want these themes and ideas to be driven from the school system into our kids. And if there's issues with our kids, we're going to partner with the school to figure it out as opposed to the school system. Actually, I'm not going to partner with the schools. This is my decision to make as a parent. That's not what I said. If there's problems in the school, the school recognizes, I'm going to be part of the conversation. They're going to reach out to me

and they're going to tell me what's happening. Oh. Right. Where in the school, the school recognizes, I'm going to be part of the conversation. They're going to reach out to me and they're going to tell me what's happening. Right. Where in the public school system, there could be some very dangerous things happening. And they're like, we're not going to tell mom and dad. We're just going to encourage, incentivize and push you on what could be a very destructive path. And so at least I have a school system where my kids are at, where our kids are at, that's willing to go, hey, this is what's going on. You know what's interesting, Sean? I agree. And I didn't mean to call you on that because I know that we both say we don't co-parent with the schools.

We don't co-parent with the government. We're the parents and we're in charge. But one of the things that's really interesting because we have all of our kids, our elementary and high school kids are in a classical catholic academy but valentina goes to a public school yeah and it is very interesting to me how different our presence at the school so and i know they use like school shootings and all this stuff as as the reason why i do not feel welcome as a parent. There are barriers to entering. It just feels like I'm not allowed to have that access in the public school. I need to send Valentina there because that's where she gets services. And frankly, the teachers and the people providing the services are amazing. But the way the rules and regulations and the sense of welcoming parents into the school, it feels like I'm sending her to a place that doesn't want me to be part of it.

And I can sense that. And that's no diss on the teachers who have been amazing to Valentina. These are the rules of the district. At our private school and i understand why though i mean there's some reasons why i'm just telling you the private schools are dealing with the same kind of security issues but i feel like they are wanting me to see what they're doing they're welcoming me in they want me to see what's going on it's a very different experience and i think it's just cultural you're putting me in a bad place because now I'm going to defend the public school system.

I think there's a cultural difference that when your child goes to a public school, we got this. We got this. And at the other school, it feels like more welcoming. In the little Catholic school, the teachers, the person who works at the front desk knows the parents. And, you know, if you come in, it's like, oh, that's Rachel Campostaffi. She's coming in. Yeah, I can see she doesn't have a gun on. At the public school, they don't have, I mean, there's a ton of kids, a ton of parents.

And so if you walk in looking like you do, it's like, I just. I get that they need to process me through, Sean. But if you are allowed in because you're a parent and some other guy comes in in a trench coat and it's like, well, no, you can't come in, dude. He's like, well, I got a student in here as well. I got a child in here as well. Then they're confronted with how do we treat parents differently by how they look and what they're wearing. And it gets to be complicated. And that's why I think there's a lot of benefits to going to a school outside of the public system, a little smaller, a little more classical, and a little more faith-based.

Maybe even a little patriotic. Yeah, and again, I want to make that point. I understand the security system, and every time there's a shooting, the security gets more, and I like it. I'm just saying the culture of the school, not the process of getting inside the building and showing who you are and proving who you are. I feel like there is an intangible feeling as a parent that it feels like in the public schools to me, as a parent who experiences both, that there is a, your child is here, we got this. And when I'm in the private, at the parochial school, at the Catholic school,

it feels like we're all in this together. This is just a different thing. Do we have one more question before we go? Okay, let me get one more here. We're live looking right now. I know, I'm live looking at you. We're going to skip some questions and take others. By the way, we appreciate you all.

Well, because they're not all questions. Some of them are just comments. We appreciate you guys sending us your questions. I do. I really do. What we're going to do is our third podcast every week, we are going to do Q&A. And so a lot of the questions today have come and they're questions about us and how do we do things. And I'm sure we'll get a lot of other questions on other topics, and we're looking forward to those. And so we had a lot of questions about how do you guys do it? Who watches your kids? Oh, yeah, that's a great one.

Right? Let's just end it on that one then. Okay. So we have a studio in our house, right, that hooks up to Fox. So sometimes if you see Rachel on Jesse Waters or you see me on Stuart Varney, we're at home, right? We're not, we're at our, the kids are upstairs. Sometimes you can hear the dog actually barking on TV like you do here. And it's really nerve wracking.

Rachel goes to Fox on the weekend for four hours on Saturday, four hours on Sunday. I go for my show at Fox Business Monday through Friday. So one of us is always at home. Now, there are some times that there can be a conflicting schedule, and that becomes really problematic. We've got to navigate how are we going to do it and how long are we going to be gone? What is that gap? Who's going to pick up Valentina?

Like those things do happen. But by and large, you and I are here together or one of us is home. And occasionally if we have to travel together, whether because we're maybe going on vacation or we have had, we're going to the Patriot Awards together for Fox. We've had work stuff that we've had to do together. What's great about having these adult kids is we'll fly Evita in. And it's great because the kids miss Evita and they want to see her.

Or we've flown in Jack, our oldest son, to come in and do that. And same with Lucia, who's now a freshman in college. Our kids, because they've grown up with so many other kids and helping and doing stuff, are super – they know how to handle it. And they're like better babysitters than a lot of adults would – you know, other adults would be. Especially for Evita. She can do her work from anywhere, right? She's a writer. She's a writer.

So she can come in, we can fly her in, and she can take care of the situation here. And our son who's in high school drives. So having kids that are, I mean, we have kids at like every stage of life. So we have kids that we now have four kids who drive. Next year there will be a fifth kid who drives. So hi, that's super helpful. And then they're also very helpful. Like they've had to help a lot and they've been able to do that. You talk about the schedule. So sometimes we're here, sometimes we're at the studio. Also, my parents have been throughout our marriage have been super helpful if shawn i've gone on

vacation when we were you know had had little kids we would fly them my mother hates flying so if we could get the kids to my mom she would take them for the year if we if we let her um so we could go on vacation that way um my my parents have also come up and take care and taking care of our kids before as well, which has been really helpful. Can I make a point of the range of our kids that you were talking about? Yeah. So we have one that's married, 23 years old, and we have one in diapers. Yeah.

Valentina, by the way, that's a project. You didn't ask that, but we have to get her potty trained. Usually they're potty trained by two or three, but Valentina's taken a bit. So we have a 20-year range there, which some say it keeps us young. I'm not quite sure about that. Yeah. Can I say that you, we brought up the diapers. So people sometimes think like, I, how do you do all this? Well, I, I think the secret is delegation, right? Like whether it's delegating some chores to kids to help out, cause we're a family and we're a team, we have to do that. Um, I have not potty trained one of my kids and that is because whenever a child was getting to two or three years old, my me

and my mom would determine what was the right knowing their personalities, what was the right time to you know get them potty trained based on that particular child, then I would fly them to my mom's house, and my mom would potty train the child. So I have never yet potty trained one child. And now my mom is probably coming for the summer. So you hope. So I hope. And maybe we'll get Valentina finally.

But that is one of the nicest, most amazing gifts that my mom has given me because she knows having had four she's patient she but she knows having had four kids herself how busy and how chaotic it is to have as many as we had and to her credit she is the world's most amazing grandmother and she has helped me in so many different ways and potty training is one of the great gifts my mom gave me. One last quick story. So today, our two little ones, not Valentina, but the two little ones, they're eight and six. And today, they stayed home because they have to go to the doctor. And so Rachel and I were doing something, and she says, okay, you two, I'll unload the dishwasher, which they don't really unload the dishwasher, but it's part of saying.

Well, yeah, Margarita does. But Patrick doesn't. Not so much Patrick, but he knows how to. But they're on the dishwasher, and then one yells out, should I pick up the knife? I could cut myself to the bone. Leave the knife in the dishwasher. Just do the plates and the bowls and the non-sharp silverware.

But they cleaned the whole kitchen. They cleaned the kitchen. As best they could. You got to train your kids. Yeah. They did well for an eight, almost nine and six year old. There's actually a study that came out. I saw this study 20 some years ago and it never left my mind. They studied children who had chores and children who didn't have chores. And children who had chores were less whiny, were more pleasant to

be around. Obviously, they've become more self-sufficient and more confident. And so I've never felt any guilt about giving kids chores. And all of our kids have. I mean, if you told them, what's your memory of your childhood? They would say vacations, a cabin and chores. That's a pretty good mix. Yeah, it's pretty good. So listen, that's our Q&A session for this Friday. We'll pick up some more of them because there's so many. It was really hard to pick up.

And send more to us. We would love to answer your questions. Again, whether it's politics or family or whatever's on your mind, send them our way. Whether you want to do it on Facebook, you can find both of us, or on Twitter or Instagram. I'll put out another note. Another Instagram. I'll put out another note. Another prompt. I'll put out another prompt for next week's. These are fun.

Yeah. I like doing it. I'm going to look at the questions first next time, okay? I'm going to do a little better prep. Listen, thank you for joining us on our podcast from the kitchen table. If you like our podcast, please rate, review, subscribe, wherever you get your podcasts. But you can also go to foxnewspodcast.com. You can find us there.

Apple, where else? I don't know. I don't know. Foxnewspodcast.com. Apple, Spotify? We'll figure it out. Figure it out. Find us.

Like us. Subscribe. Please subscribe. We are tech savvy. That's right. Until next week, you guys. Thanks for joining us at the kitchen table. Bye, everybody.

Listen ad-free with a Fox News Podcast Plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to the show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. From the Fox News Podcast Network, I'm Ben Domenech, Fox News contributor and editor of the Transom.com daily newsletter. And I'm inviting you to join a conversation every week. It's the Ben Domenech Podcast. Subscribe and listen now by going to FoxNewsPodcast.com.