From the Kitchen Table: The Duffys - The Duffys Revisit How To Keep A New Year's Resolution

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

On this episode, Sean and Rachel look back on a conversation with Life Coach & Host of the Resolve podcast, Carly Tizzano, to discuss New Year's Resolutions, how to make them, and how to keep them. �� Carly shares how she got into life coaching and explains the necessary steps in order to achieve realistic goals throughout the year.   Follow Sean and Rachel on Twitter: @SeanDuffyWI & @RCamposDuffy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. From November 25th to December 2nd, get 25% off everything on orders over $150 in Mejuri's biggest sale ever. From bold hoops to minimalist stacks, Mejuri has something for everyone. Mejuri makes handcrafted fine jewelry for every day made with responsibly sourced materials.

So you can look and feel good about gifting and wearing them. Shop your wishlist 25% off at Mijeri.com today. Hello, everyone, and welcome to From the Kitchen Table. I'm your host, Sean Duffy, along with my co-host for the podcast, but also my partner in life, Rachel Campos Duffy. That's right, Sean. You're my partner in life, but also my partner for this coming new year, which is what we're talking about the new year. So hello everybody and happy new year. We're back with more conversations from our kitchen table. And today I'm really excited because we have this very special guest with us. She is a certified life coach. I've always wanted to have a life coach. I've always been intrigued by the idea. I don't really know exactly what it means. And that's

sort of what we're going to get into. And with us today is the host of the Resolve podcast. She's here to help us commit to our new year's resolution. Sean and I have talked about new year's resolution. Sean, you're going to talk about why you aren't so big on resolutions. I want to keep my resolution, but also we want to learn about what does it mean to have a life coach and how that can help you keep a resolution. So everyone, please welcome Carly Tisano to the kitchen table. Carly, welcome. Hey, thanks so much for having me.

So before we get into what Sean and I are resolving or not resolving to do this year, let's talk about you for a minute. So who are you? How old are you? How did you get into life coaching? It's so fascinating to me. Well, like you said, I'm Carly Tisano and I'm a certified life coach. I specifically coach people on their New Year's resolutions, their goals kind of within the context of a year. I am 23 years old, and I am just passionate about helping people recognize what they want most and helping them take the necessary steps in order to get there. Fascinating. And so what is the key, first all to so you you make a resolution and most people will say by by sometimes by the middle of january it's already over and so what is the main obstacles for most people that you deal with in terms of keeping their resolutions? I always say that the biggest obstacle to keeping a resolution is the fact that they are a resolution. I think that there is this

expectation, whether it's on the society and cultural level or something more personal, I'm not quite sure, but I think people have the expectation that when they set a resolution, it's something that just isn't going to be kept. That's the expectation that we have just come to an agreement somehow we've all made that when we set a resolution by the middle of January or by March and certainly by June, it's just something that's off our radar. We're not really thinking about it anymore. And we're just done with them.

But resolutions are particularly powerful because we set them generally at this end of the year slash beginning of the next year timeframe, when life is ideally a little bit slower, we've spent some time probably with friends and family. We've had some time most likely for reflection, looking back at the year, the things we did or didn't do that we hoped to, hopefully celebrating some of our successes. And from that place of reflection, it's so powerful to be able to look forward and identify where you hope to be at this time next year and from that place to be able to recognize and identify what it's going to take in order to get there. So people are most often setting resolutions from that higher future

self that they hope to become in the next year. But they're also setting it with that expectation that this probably isn't going to happen. They kind of say their resolutions and then shrug at the end. And so that tends to be the biggest struggle that I find when people set resolutions is just the fact that they don't actually expect they're going to keep them. So Carly, I think it's such an interesting point. Over the holiday season, you're right. People's lives slow down a little bit. They usually can get a little bit of time off of work.

And when you have that time, you're able to sit and go, huh, how should I improve my life? How can I do better at certain things that I think are important in my life that I'm not actually getting right? And so how does a life coach actually work? I mean, do you call people up and go, hey, did you work out today? Or did you eat that donut this morning? How do you actually get people to accomplish these things or help them accomplish the things that they think are important in their lives? Absolutely. Well, of course, I can't speak for all life coaches, but I can certainly speak from my experience and a lot of life coaches that I know do things pretty similar to how I operate.

So I do regular calls with my clients. I found that the every other week model seems to work best for them in that we have a call one week, we kind of figure out where we're at, make a plan. And then the next week I call it implementation week. So they go and do all the things that we talked about, make progress, implement the plan. And then by the time we talk the following week, they've kind of come up against any struggles they're going to find. Sometimes things have happened in their personal life that then we get to discuss and work through. But I'm also there by text or email or kind of whatever medium is going to work best for

them that they use probably most often in their normal day-to-day life so that if they do come across that donut on the counter on a Thursday morning and it wasn't in their plan to eat that and they kind of need to process through seeing it there, what am I going to do? How am I going to do? How am I going to overcome this? Then I'm right there with them in those moments too. So whether it's the Thursday morning or the Tuesday night or the Sunday afternoon, I'm there to give them the support that they need all throughout the week, every day if

they need it or just as needed. But then I'm also there on the bigger picture in the context of calls to make the bigger picture plan to keep moving forward. So Carly, I think it's interesting because it's almost like accountability, right? So if I'm doing a call with you every two weeks, and I'm like, Carly's going to ask me, did I eat the donut? Or how many did I meet my workout plan? And I have to tell her, no, I'm accountable in this conversation that we're going to have. And I'm like, oh, shoot, I don't want to actually have that conversation. So I'll go to the gym and I'll at least get a couple of workouts. And so I'm not a complete failure. I think accountability really works with people

when someone checks up on us on the things we want to do in our lives. Well, no, go ahead, Carly. I have a follow-up to that. You're sparking all kinds of ideas, Sean, to me. Go ahead. Go ahead, Carly. Yeah, absolutely. Accountability is such a powerful tool and tactic. It works better for some people than for others. And some people find that they are best and most accountable when they're kind of accountable just to themselves or that future version of themselves that they want. Some people need the external, external accountability of a coach, someone who really has no say or play in their lives and can see everything from that kind of coach. Even like when you think of a coach of a football team,

like the coach is able to see things that players can't. So that's kind of what a coach is able to bring to a table. But some people like to do it with friends or family members. Some people use their kids for accountability. And it's so fun to see and to play around with the ideas. There's even apps you can use and download for pretty much any kind of accountability that you could ever need. And so if accountability is something that someone is looking for, they can find it in any way and in any context and for any goal or resolution. So that is exactly where I wanted you to be right now, because that's my thought is, so Sean and I, first of all, we have relationship goals. We have kid goals, family goals. We're actually, as a partnership, we're really very good about touching base with each other

and talking about those goals and meeting those goals, or at least trying and reassessing and reevaluating. But we have another common goal that we're just not on the same page with. So both Sean and I have, for years years been saying we want to get into shape. We want to get into shape. I had a couple short periods of time where I was successful and it didn't last. Sean got on a health kick, a workout kick last summer, and he has kept it like, how many months is it, Sean? I'm pushing seven months. Okay. And so like, he looks amazing,

better than he has in like a long, long, long time. It also makes me feel very bad about myself because I have not been able to. And I feel like it's really like why if I have a husband who's working out, we have a home gym. That's what we both are supposed to be working out in. I do, but like never consistently. Shouldn't we? What can I do to make Sean my person that makes me accountable? And how do, what do we do to make this work? Like, how am I, I feel like I'm the problem is what I'm saying to you, Carly. What can I do so that I can get on the same kick as Sean? Absolutely. Well, the first

thing is I wouldn't want you to use Sean's success in order to beat yourself up. I would encourage you to be inspired by him rather than kind of turning it around and using it as a should for yourself and that you should be doing this with him or you're behind him in some way. And another thing is that some people find it hard for spouses to be accountability partners just because they're so close to us that sometimes their expectations, although they're external from us, there's someone who is so close to us that they can kind of also feel like internal expectations. Since when you're married, you become one. Sometimes your expectations for each other do as well. Oh, that's so true, Carly. Don't go, hey, you need to work out. That never goes well for husbands. Right. Although I used to say that to you all the time.

I have to say it definitely hurts my feelings more when I hear it back. So it brings up a lot of weird issues. It does. Yeah, absolutely. And it certainly depends on the relationship too and the interplay of how the dynamic within a couple works together but it certainly doesn't mean it can't be done and a lot of couples work out together or work towards any other goal successfully and the fact that like you shared you and sean do work towards so many other goals collectively and in so many other different areas really should also encourage you to show you are very likely to be able to do it in this area as well um and so you mentioned. Good, good. That's what I want to hear. That's what I want to hear. I think, I think we should

be working out together. I think that this is a goal we can do together, even if it's not that we're working on at the same time that we're both on the same, I think it would be good for, it makes it just easier in every other facet. If we're on the same page on this as well. We'll have more of this conversation after this. This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. From November 25th to December 2nd, get 25% off everything on orders over $150 in Mejuri's biggest sale ever. From bold hoops to minimalist stacks,

Mejuri has something for everyone. Mejuri makes handcrafted fine jewelry for every day made with responsibly sourced materials. So you can look and feel good about gifting and wearing them. Shop your wishlist 25% off at Mijuri.com today. Well, so Carla, can I give you like a little dose of truth here, what happens in our house and just kind of unpack this for you so you can give us some advice on Rachel.

So here's what happens in our house. So Rachel puts on her workout clothes, right? She puts them on and then she'll spend hours walking throughout the house doing all kinds of chores. And I'm like, listen, just because you put on your workout clothes doesn't mean that you actually worked out. You actually have to go to the gym and do some work.

That's the first thing. But the second thing that she does is that she'll find every chore in the house to do instead of working out. And then she'll learn. Because we have tons of chores, Sean. I mean, we have so much to do. And you don't see the mess and you can just go work out. But I can't. So true. So true. So what I tell her is, if you don't make it a priority, if you don't say, if I don't take this time right now to work out, the time is going to evaporate and I won't be able to do it because, you know, I only have so many hours in the day and the kids are coming home from school. And all these things will happen that if you don't take this moment, this 45 minutes or an hour that you have right now, you'll never get it done. And you can come back and get these other things, these other chores done later in the day when the kids are home, but you can't work out when the kids are home. So do it right

now. And we haven't been able to break through this marital conversation of put your clothes on, go downstairs, go. Yeah. It's so true. And can I say, I was always even in college, the kind of person that had to clean my room, my dorm room before I could get my homework done. So that's one of the problems. I'm very fastidious. I like the house to look neat. And that matters to me as much as working out, whereas the house being neat is not at all a priority for Sean. It's not a priority at all.

The other thing that I wanted to bring up, just to be more specific, is I'm not a priority at all. The other, the other thing that I wanted to bring up just to be more specific is I'm not a morning person, but the view, and I can literally count on my hands in the 20 years that I've been trying to make this happen. I probably done it five times. I've gotten up earlier than everybody else and worked out and I felt great. But for some reason, I can't consistently do that. And I know that my life would be so much better. I would feel better. I would, everything would go better in my day. If I could get up at, you know, five 30 or five o'clock in the morning and get my workout done before everyone else gets up and I can't do it. Well, and that's okay because there isn't a one

certain time in the day when you have to wake up or get up or get your workout done, except for the fact that maybe when kids are around, it's harder. So maybe there are certain points in the day when it's going to make more sense to get it done as opposed to like moving the laundry or loading the dishwasher, pulling out the vacuum, those things that maybe can also get done when the kids are home. So that's something to keep in mind and take into account. But I do want to give you points for putting on the workout clothes because that is definitely the first step. Thank you, Carly. You give me credit for that. You are way too generous, Carly. Well, that counts for something because that's what we call a bridge

habit. It's something that it's necessary to take the next step. Yes. It's a bridge. Carly, I already really like you. And by the way, I look better doing housework in workout clothes. That is true. She really does. Well, and it's so much more comfortable, right? And that's similar to meditation. A lot of people want to meditate, struggle to meditate. So for them, a lot of times the bridge habit is to sit kind of in that cross-legged position or lay down on the floor, however they want to meditate. And if they can get in the habit of doing that, then the meditation sort of just flows more easily from that point. But you also mentioned that working out for you is kind of on the same level as getting

the house clean. Like they matter the same amount to you. And so that is when I like to pull out my tool called the hierarchy of values. So it sounds like to you, you value those two things equally. Whereas if you value one more than the other, then that can kind of flow down to make the decisions that you need to make on a day-to-day or grander scale level easier. But since you value them. I would say to be perfectly fair, Carly, and, and this is the bad thing. I actually think I value having my home neat and tidy because of the sanity it gives me probably more, obviously more, right? Cause my house is very, you know, relatively tidy and I

am not consistent working out. So clearly even through my actions, I'm showing that, right? I wish that it was taking care of myself better, which I think would be better for me and maybe even for everybody else. But clearly I'm not by my actions showing that. Right. And so acknowledging that if cleaning the house is of a higher value to you, that's important to recognize, at least at first, to be honest with yourself about that, because it's from that place that then you can make any other tweaks or decisions necessary that you want to. So if you want to try to experiment with valuing working out higher than cleaning the house, that's something you can try. It doesn't mean that you're going to forever shift your hierarchy of values, but it's something that you can experiment with. I've also found that a lot of people find it easier to do

things like keeping the house clean after they've worked out, because even though their muscles might be tired, they have that rush of endorphins and more energy from having done the workout. So that's something that's a great point. Yeah. It's something that can help them forward into whatever those other things are. And sometimes it's the other way around they work out and that gives them the energy they need to clean their house because it's like the bottom of their to-do list. Maybe I should just try and not say I'm not going to clean the house or work out.

It's like, I'm just going to work out first. And then like, maybe just even changing my mindset. I love it. All there in that. I love it. That's a great point too, because it's not a choice. It's not either or. It can be both.

Yeah. And so Carly, I look at, and I want to come back to the advice you can give to our listeners as well on how they can be successful in their resolutions. And just from my experience, listen, I love that you said you make it until February or March. Rarely do I do that. I make it until, again, the first week of January. I'm like, I'm doing, I'm busy.

I'm like, I forget it. And I think it's almost like we have to be committed to changing our lives. And so, like I've said, I'm like, I forget it. And I think it's almost like we have to be committed to changing our lives. And so like I've said, I'm going to start working out. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to do these things at the start of the year. It never happens. And for some reason this summer, I had some time and I was able to get into our other home gym and start going. And then the success of it made me want to build on the success. And now that I'm seven months in, I'm like, I don't want to go back to where I have Rachel telling me all the time to work out. And like, I want to keep, I want to keep it going.

And like a little bit of success breeds more success, but it wasn't the resolution that did it. It was me making up my mind at some point, I am going to commit and I'm going to do this. And what was the instigation for me was I was turning 50 in October. I'm like, I'm going to get in shape when I turn 50. I'm going to look better at 50 than I did at 40. And so that was kind of my- And you do. And you do, Sean. And you do. Thank you, honey. Some might argue with that, but I feel good about it. And I'm going to get there at that point of my life and start the 50 off right. You did. I'm proud of you. Yeah. So you definitely get a big gold star for

doing that. That's so exciting. And like you pointed out, though, some people don't like starting at the beginning of the year. Sometimes they like to start around a birthday or just some other trigger point. And I always tell people, if you don't want to set a resolution, don't set a resolution. It's not going to help you to have that be the first kind of hurdle that you have to overcome by forcing yourself to do that. But be cognizant then of other times or situations that cause you to want to trigger that kind of change, because it really is powerful to start taking action in alignment with what we most want, whether that's to get fit or to write a book or to start a new business,

to work on someone's marriage. It's so important to recognize those things and then begin to take the action because like you said, over the last seven months, as you've begun to take action and start working out and making it a regular part of your life, you've built so much momentum and you're so proud of how far you've been able to come. And that is the power of a resolution to over the course of a year, recognize what you want and then begin to take consistent action towards it. Because a year is not so long that you can lose track and lose momentum and focus of those things. And it's also long enough though, that you can make a significant change in your life on pretty much any level that you want to. Are, are goals like working out or organizing my house, what's harder that, or, or is it these

really kind of deeper things? Like I'm going to work on my marriage or I'm going to work on, you know, finding more family time. And what do you find from your clients that what are the hardest things to overcome? Well, the very hardest things to overcome are the things that we don't really want. We just think we should want. Those are the hardest things to make progress on. But when we are making progress on the things that we want, it is hard sometime to just find the wherewithal to keep going. And especially if those things are hard to measure. So things like wanting to improve your marriage, it's kind of hard to put a metric and number on that, especially hard because a lot of times we'll attribute half

of that to the other person who ultimately they're not really in any control over. They can really only control themselves and how they want to show up and how they're feeling about their relationship. So in that context, things like that are hard, but that doesn't make them any less important. And in fact, it makes them more important, especially if that's what someone wants to figure out what it's going to take

to get to a point where they can be happy with their marriage or what kind of metric they can assign to that in order to start making progress towards the kind of marriage that they want, as opposed to something like, I want to read 12 books this year. That's pretty easy to track and to measure and to figure out where you are in the year if you're on track, if you're going to do it. So those kinds of goals can be easier, but if that's what you want, then that doesn't make that unimportant either. So Carly, as we come into the new year, let's talk about as people, again, this is a time

of resolutions. And again, there's a lot of failure, but there are some successes with resolutions. So what should we be looking at in our lives as to what resolutions we should be making? And how do we keep those resolutions moving into 2022? The first thing that I like to have people do is to create a vision in their mind of where they want to be on December 31st next year. That's kind of the context that I like to set resolutions in because it helps you keep in mind that it's only a year. You can't make probably 10 years worth of changes in one year, but it also reminds you that

you have a year and it helps you to drop into that person that you hope to become the things you hope to accomplish. And then from there, you can kind of backtrack to the more specific and tangible resolutions that you want to set that are going to help you get to that point. And then one of the biggest keys to keeping your resolution all year long is kind of what you hinted at earlier in that if you forget by January 8th that you wanted to do these things, you're probably not going to be keeping them on January 9th. And the same goes for whether you're forgetting about them

in March or June or October, keeping them front of mind and something that you're consistently taking steps towards is the most important thing. So that can look different for everyone, whether they use an accountability person like a spouse or a friend or a coach, whether they just put a reminder on their calendar at the end of every month or quarter to check in on their goals and resolutions and see where they're

at, whether they want to keep track on a daily basis, if they have more daily habits, like working out or eating healthier, reading more, and they need to keep track on that kind of granular level, that's okay too. But I think the biggest thing is if you're keeping in mind your resolutions all year long, and they are things that you really truly want, then your progress on them is really just going to be inevitable. So should I have like, as I meet little goals, I don't know if Sean, if you, if you were doing this for yourself, as you were going through that process of when you first started working out, you know, last summer and, and, and as you, as you started to lose weight, I mean, I've heard of, you know, I've read, you know, everybody's read these beauty magazines and they'll say, you know, as you lose, after you lose 15 pounds, you know, buy yourself a great

outfit or a new workout clothes, or do you believe in those kinds of self-rewards? Is that important to do or not so much? That kind of depends on the person. You don't want the reward really to be the only reason you're moving forward, but I do think it's super important to celebrate our success, especially because when we look ahead to the goals that we set and then we want to achieve, we're so sure that we're going to be so excited when we get there. But often along the way, it kind of loses its luster and it just becomes inevitable. So it's not quite as exciting

when you get to the end of the year or you just reached a certain goal and sure you've done everything you wanted to, but it's just kind of that shrug feeling of, yeah, of course it happened. Right. So if you want to get the new outfit or go out to dinner to celebrate and honor that, and that's how you want to celebrate, then I would all by all means encourage you to do it. But keep in mind that if you have a goal and you've achieved some certain amount of weight loss or a new fitness routine, you want to reward yourself in a way that's going to draw you further into that. Like you mentioned, new workout clothes, as opposed to baking and eating a chocolate cake. Do you know, do you know how Sean celebrates? No. How does Sean celebrate?

He shows me his muscles. He'll flex. Oh, come on. That's a great one. It's so true, Sean. You know that too. Oh, I'm turning red. I would never do that.

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And again, and I keep telling Rachel the same thing, I think that success begets more success. And so, again, if the workout idea or the weight loss is your goal, it seems like if you can start one, two, three, five days in and keep going and then have a plan to keep doing it and you get in a rhythm of making this part of your life, it seems like it's easier. The first step always seems to be the hardest step. The first one, two, or three days seem to be the hardest on the mission of running the marathon. But once you're running, you're at mile one, you're like, okay, I'm in it. And yeah, I got 23 more miles to go, but I've started and I'm going.

Is that true or is that just me? No, it's absolutely true. I mean, it's like what you talked about with momentum, that once you started to build that momentum, of course, you're going to keep going. You're not going to lose 49 pounds when your goal is 50 and then give up on the last one or write 99,000 words for your book when you want it to hit a hundred thousand. Once you've gotten that far, you have that investment that you've already put in. Plus you're just so used to the routines and habits it takes

to get there that it becomes, it gets to that point of inevitability of, of course, I'm going to take that next step, write the next thousand words, lose the next pound. And you know exactly what it's going to take for you to do it. So that's why you're so right. The beginning of the year is really crucial or whenever you choose to start to pursue a new goal to begin to build that momentum, even if you start in really small ways, because it does just begin to compound. And then once you have that behind you, it just becomes that much easier all year long. Well, that's what you say all the time, Sean. You always say, I'm going to get down there and work out because I've put in this much

time. I'm not going to let it go to waste. And even when I don't want to, it's like, I just really don't want to do this. But it's going to be a not so great workout. Once I start, it can turn into a really good workout because I just made myself do it. Yeah, I mean, this is fascinating, Carly. And to kind of think of how we can, I think one of the key things is if, if, if this is important enough for you to make a resolution, do you think this is something that you have to do? And maybe this

is, I'm directing this at Rachel. You do have to set aside to go, I am going to do it. I'm going to make it happen. I think this is important in my life. And so I'm going to make sure that I put time away in my day to accomplish this goal that I think is important. So important that I made my new year's resolution all about it. Yeah. And I also think it's important probably for me to remind myself that it's not like I'd never work out. I do. The problem is that I'm never consistent enough with it. Like, you know, something happens and then that day I don't, and then it becomes harder or I have to travel somewhere and then I'm off the bandwagon. The point though, for me that I think I need to focus on is how great I feel after I work out. I really feel great. And Sean, you know that like after I have a great workout

and I'm a cardio girl and I need to do more weights, but I love the way I feel after I do cardio. I need to do more weights, but when I actually do either of those things, I feel really good. It's just, it's, you know, it is hard for me to motivate. Cause I do see, you know, as a mom with lots of kids and house, it's like, I see all the things that I'm not getting done. And I just really have to prioritize myself and think about how great I feel after. And then I can always do, you know, load the dishwasher later, which I think you make a great point with that, Carly. You're so right. So Carly, I'll go ahead. Well, and two other tools that I find really helpful kind of going off of those things that you just shared, Rachel. The first is that consistency is really whatever you want it to be. So for some people brushing, like you want to

brush your teeth every day, and that's consistently brushing your teeth. But you also consistently go to the dentist when you go twice a year or three times a year, whatever your kind of recurring schedule is. And that is also consistency. So it's okay if consistency is working out once a week or twice a week, you get to define whatever it is that's best going to support you. And it can change over time, but rather than beating yourself up over whatever your idea of consistency is, you just want to keep in mind that it can also be whenever you want it to be. And then also when you talked about falling off the wagon and having to get started again, that is something that so many people struggle with. And I like to remind them that one of the biggest skills that you can learn is how to get started again once you've had to stop or something came

up and now you need to start moving again with working out or eating out or not eating out, eating at home. What is that? What is it, Carly? What do we do? How do we keep it back up again? Well, ultimately what you have to do is just get started again. Um, and there are some tools, of course, the Nike ad, just do it. Right. And so whether you have to remind yourself of the big picture and what you really want and why you really want it, um, whether you need to redefine consistency at that point, whether you just need to give yourself grace for whatever just happened or the travel you were on, um, whether you need to start smaller and work big, whether you need to jump right back in. You can, again, work getting back into the things however is going to work best for you. It sounds like though you have to know thyself, right? You have to know what works for you. So what works for Sean is not necessarily going to work for me. I have to figure out what

works for me, know myself, be honest about what the, you know, as you said, like what, what is consistent mean for Rachel? What is what time of day works best for Rachel may not be good for me to constantly be on Sean's schedule, but I do think, and what's encouraging to me about, you know, talking with you is first of all, I feel, I do feel really blessed that I have someone like Sean in my house who's setting a good example for me. I do. Honestly, Sean, if I haven't said that enough about how proud I am that you have stuck with it for seven months, I do think you're an inspiration. It does make me feel bad about myself sometimes, but it is still very inspirational.

So I thank you for that. I do need to know myself and make sure I set myself up for success. And so I think maybe we should regroup with Carly, Sean, in maybe six months and see how this goes. So I think that's a great idea. And so Carly, as we kind of are going to wrap up the podcast here. Give us the key points that you think are important. Again, so for all the listeners, they're saying, okay, the resolution's there. What are the key things they have to think about for their success? Kind of as a recap for us. Maybe in the next day, what do I need to do to set myself up for success moving forward?

Well, I like to think of setting resolutions as doing that in four steps. And so you should take whichever step is next on your resolution setting journey, whether you are just starting to think about your resolutions or whether you've already set them. So the first is to create the dream and vision of what you want your life to become. All those ideas that you have about the person you want to become and the things you hope to achieve in the future to get really clear on what those things are. And then the next step is to determine your goals. So within the context of this, that would be to actually set your resolutions from the

dreams. Do you mean to write it down? Do you mean to write that down, Carly? Absolutely. You're so much more likely to achieve your goal if you actually write it down. It's like 48 or 50% more likely to achieve your goal if you actually write it down. It's like 48% or 50% more likely to achieve your goal. So definitely write it down and just break down those dreams that you have into concrete components.

Whether you call them goals or resolutions is totally up to you. But if you've already done that, then begin to create a plan. A plan is step three. And that's where you begin to break down what this is actually going to look like in your year or your day-to-day life. And then you can begin to implement the plan and take steps forward. And then the final step is reality, which is hopefully what we'll all be in next December 31st,

as we are kind of popping open the champagne and celebrating all of the things we were able to do this year and the goals that were reached and the resolutions that were kept. So Carly really quick. I'm going to, I'm going to follow this. I'm actually going to sit down. I'm going to follow this. I'm actually going to sit down. I'm going to write it. I do want us to reconnect in six months to see how I do. I hope everybody else is taking this advice.

I think your four steps are really solid, practical, concrete. I'm going to have Sean be my, I'm going to use him for accountability in my life. I think that he's somebody that I can go to for that. But what if somebody wants to contact you? How can they do that? Absolutely. I'm across pretty much all social media platforms at Carly Tisano and my website is carlytisano.com. That's C-A-R-L-Y-T-I-Z-Z-A-N-O. And of course I share about my life and everything you need to know to set and keep resolutions on the resolve podcast. Great.

And then if Sean fails, I'm going to go to your website. Okay. I'll be there for you. Okay. I love it too. Okay. Well, Carly, it's been so great talking to you. You sound like such an, if people haven't read your story, it is very inspirational.

I really encourage them to go to your, um, to your website to do that. Great practical advice. And if you don't have a Sean Duffy in your life, you may need a Carly. So I encourage you to do that. I hope you have a really happy new year. It must be very, very fulfilling to do what you do and to help people improve their lives all the time. It is absolutely. This is my favorite time of the year. Awesome. Making people's lives better, Carly. It is, absolutely. This is my favorite time of the year. Awesome. Making people's lives better, Carly. I love it too. Listen, thanks for joining us from the kitchen table.

And maybe one time we'll get together and talk about resolutions actually over a cup of coffee at our kitchen table. We'd always love that. So thank you for joining us today, Carly. Yeah, it's virtual now, but we'd like to do it for real. So yeah. Well, thank you so much for having me.

That sounds great. All right. Thanks, Carly, for joining us around the kitchen table. We've enjoyed this conversation. And if you did too, let us know. Subscribe, rate, and review this podcast at foxnewspodcast.com or wherever you download podcasts. Have a great new year.

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