Front Burner - 10,000 COVID-19 deaths, 3 lives remembered

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

This week, Canada hit a grim milestone: more than 10,000 people in the country have died from COVID-19 — although experts say the true number could be higher. Today, we hear about three of the many who have been lost: Shawn Auger, the first recorded Canadian in his 30s to die from the disease; Gurinder Anand, who made his mark on Montreal with his cooking and community spirit; and Bontu Abdulahi, a personal support worker and devoted mom.

In the Dragon's Den, a simple pitch can lead to a life-changing connection. Watch new episodes of Dragon's Den free on CBC Gem. Brought to you in part by National Angel Capital Organization. Empowering Canada's entrepreneurs through angel investment and industry connections. This is a CBC Podcast. The latest milestone in the coronavirus pandemic. 10,000 Canadian lives. 10,000 deaths. 10,000 lives in Canada. This week, Canada passed a grim milestone.

10,000 dead from COVID-19. Each of those 10,000 people had stories and people who loved them. Today, we're talking to three Canadians in different parts of the country about the family members they lost to the virus and what life has been like without them. I'm Jamie Poisson. This is FrontBurner. When we're talking about the 10,000 people who have died in this country from COVID-19, we know that no province has been hit harder than Quebec. More than 3,500 people have died in Montreal alone.

One of them was Gurinder Anand. My dad was a chef, and that's all he did for most of my life and I essentially grew up in the apartment above the restaurant and so if I wasn't at school or if I wasn't at the gridwire, the Sikh place of worship, I was in my dad's kitchen watching him prepare for the night. When Gurinder's son Simar was growing up, his dad's Punjabi restaurant was a central force in their family's life. When Simmer became a lawyer, he thought his life would be very different from his dad's. But now he's back where his family started, trying to keep that legacy alive. I think one of the things that I remember most about my dad now

going into the restaurant every day and spending most of my evenings there, I sometimes see him coming out of the kitchen and going table to table and just trying to strike a conversation with our guests. And the one thing I found the most funniest about my dad was he could barely speak any English. He had a very thick Indian accent. He, despite having come here at an early age and spending most of his teenage years in Montreal. And despite all that, any opportunity he got to come out of the kitchen and go table to table and just talk to guests and see how they're doing and learn about them and learn about their stories and things that were keeping them busy these days

or things that they had on their mind, just any conversation under the sun. Even if he knew nothing about politics, if someone wanted to talk about politics, he'd jump right in. And even though Gurinder spent a lot of late nights at the restaurant, there was always time for family. You know, anything we did, he was just so proud of what my sister and I grew up and accomplished in life. And, you know, I was the first person in our entire family to go to university. And that too, McGill, you know, my dad, when he dropped out of high school and started helping his family with the business, which was a depenar, it was a corner store, he would often deliver newspapers to the very

McGill building that I ended up going to study in. And I think that was one of the proudest moments of his life when he saw me show up to class on First Aunt McGill. He's like, I delivered newspapers to this building. And here you are, an actual student at this university. And that was one of the proudest moments in his life. And then I went on to go to law school. And then in law school, I ended up becoming valedictorian. It's just one after the other.

He never said it. He would never say, you know, son, I'm proud of you, I love you. But you could see it in his eyes. You could see it in the way he'd smile sometimes. And he didn't really know how to express it in the words that we often are used to hearing. Ask any customer at the restaurant, and this is one of the most bizarre things I've ever heard, but my dad apparently, I learned this after, but apparently my dad would staple my business card to each receipt when he'd give it to a customer at the restaurant, and it was my law firm business card. And he was my big, you know, he never carried restaurant business cards in his pocket.

He always carried my law firm business cards in his pocket and would pass them around to everyone that he met. And he would just love telling people his son was a lawyer. And it's for him that I want to continue as long as I can in this practice. But at the same time, I want to run the restaurant. That restaurant was what my dad's left behind for us. in this practice, but at the same time, I wanted to run the restaurant. That restaurant was what my dad's left behind for us, and everything about my dad, everything that my dad stood for, all the things that were important to my dad are all in that restaurant, and I want to grow that legacy.

I want to build it even bigger, and I want that restaurant to tell my dad's story. And that's what I've been working on this whole, you know, after he passed away is how do I get this restaurant to tell my dad's story of who he was and what he went through and what he stood for. And, yeah, it makes for very, very long days running a legal practice with a Bay Street law firm and at the same time trying to run, you know, a full business. But I have to find a way to make it work. That was Simar Anand. He's running his father's restaurant after his father died from COVID-19 this year. Losing a parent can unmoor you. The person who often knew your life better than anyone else isn't there to witness it anymore. My next guest lost his biggest ally when his mom died of COVID-19.

She was like my best friend. You know. His name is Lamo Mohamed. And he's someone I've been thinking about. Since I read his story in September. In the Toronto Star. He's since started a new school year. For the first time without his mother.

And we wanted to know how he was doing. So we called him up at his home. in St. Jamestown in Toronto. Lama, I want to thank you so much for speaking with me today. No problem, anything. I wanted to ask you, you know, I read your story in the Toronto Star. I've been thinking about you ever since I read it, and it sounds like you had such a beautiful relationship with your mother. And for people who didn't know her, can you tell me what she was like?

She was the most supportive person I know. No matter what mistake I made, she doesn't define me by them. No matter what I do, she's always been there for me no matter what. The love is like unconditional. And I know, Amo, you have autism, right? And can you tell me how your mom helped you when you were diagnosed with autism? She said that autism doesn't define me as a person. She says, you know, many famous people have been, so nothing to be ashamed of. She sounds like such a lovely mother, L i'm i'm so sorry

for your loss thank you can you tell me a little bit about what happened when she got sick um she started to have like a cough and i thought it was just a common cold um but she's then after that she started to have difficulty breathing, so we had to call the ambulance. And, yeah. And were you able to see her when she was sick in the hospital after she went in the ambulance, or did you have to stay away? I was going to see her, but however, they had to postpone the visit for some reason. Okay. Was it hard for you to get information when your mom was sick when she was in the hospital?

Oh, it sure was. I mean, it was too much for me to handle. Tell me about that a little bit. Well, for the first couple weeks, she was doing fine. But she was on 5% ventilator. And when someone's on 5% ventilator, you're technically doing 95% of the breathing myself, mathematically speaking. Um, but however, she did get worse.

She started having blood clot, pneumonia, kidneys, kidney problems. But then, you know, um, on top of that, uh, all of a sudden she just passes away after nearly a month it's like they're telling me that she's not gonna make it when they didn't bring it up bring up anything about it you know right okay do you remember what it was like for you back then when your mom was in the hospital it was a living hell honestly um i'm not sure if i should be saying that word on a interview you can't that's okay yeah okay okay um it was hell um i didn't know what to do people can't come and comfort us people had to just like you know drop food off our doorstep so it was one of the worst things i have to go through my whole entire life. Right. People couldn't come and comfort you

because you might also have had COVID, right? Yeah. And were you alone with your sister? Am I right about that? Yes. How old is your sister? 13. Okay. So it was just you and your sister for how long? 28 days. How old are you, Lamo? 18. 18. Do you remember the last thing that your mom said to you? She said, um, Lamo, take care of the house while I'm gone.

Hmm. It sounds like you did a very good job thanks that means a lot lima i imagine that many people are really um curious they're wondering how you're doing how are you doing to be honest um well it i'm doing okay. Still kind of hurts, but if you would ask me all in all how I'm feeling, I'm feeling okay. Not great, not horrible, okay. Well, we're glad to hear that you're doing okay. And will you please keep us posted?

Let us know how you're doing in the weeks and months ahead. I think we'd really like that. Sure. No problem. That would be great. And thank you. Thank you again for sharing your story with us and for sharing your mom with us. She just sounds like such an incredible person. Yeah, she was my everything. Yeah, she was my everything. Lamo Muhammad's mom, Bantu Abdullahi, was a personal support worker in Toronto. She died of COVID-19 in May. In the Dragon's Den, a simple pitch can lead to a life-changing connection.

Watch new episodes of Dragon's Den free on CBC Gem. Brought to you in part by National Angel Capital Organization. Empowering Canada's entrepreneurs through angel investment and industry connections. Hi, it's Ramit Sethi here. You may have seen my money show on Netflix. I've been talking about money for 20 years. I've talked to millions of people and I have some startling numbers to share with you. Did you know that of the people I speak to, 50% of them do not know their own household income? That's not a typo, 50%. That's because money is confusing. In my new book and podcast, Money for Couples, I help you and your partner create a financial vision together. To

listen to this podcast, just search for Money for Couples. A lot of the stories about COVID-19's impact have been about people living in cities, where case numbers are rising and death tolls are too. But in rural parts of the country, further from major hospitals and specialists, the stakes can be high. And in these tight-knit communities, outbreaks of the disease have their own brutal impact. Sean OJ was the first person to die of COVID-19 in northern Alberta. His wife, Jennifer, was his high school sweetheart. She thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with Sean, but she and her kids lost him when he was just 34 years old.

Jennifer, hi. Thank you so much for speaking with me today. Thank you for having me. So I know that you met Sean when you were both very young and can you tell me how you met? We actually met in junior high. I was 15 when I met Sean. So you're high school sweethearts. Is that fair? We actually used to have a teasing relationship all through junior high and high school. Even though I moved away for high school, I would come to Grow Art to visit often and, you know, we'd run into each other at a party here and there and tease each other, do some flirting. And when did you start to have a

relationship together? I guess officially we started New Year's. I kind of tracked him down and I'm like, you know, why don't you come see me? And we were together ever since. And it wasn't too long after that that I got pregnant with our son. Can you tell me a little bit more about Sean? How would you describe his personality? He's a pest, you know, he loved to tease, loved to poke fun at people and just get you laughing. He's a very active father and adventure, right? It was a big adventure.

You know, the way he proposed to was so movie-ish, so romantical. How did he propose? We went to Banff, and it was in October, actually. We got engaged October 20, 2012. So we got in a gondola, and we went up the mountain, and there's a restaurant at the top. And it was winter down there. It was snowing and everything, and we're done up to the nines,

and I'm waiting downstairs in the lobby area, and he's like, hold on, I've got to go check something, make sure they're ready for a reservation. A couple minutes later, he comes back down, and he's like, let's check out the view. And I'm like, like well sure like why not so we're there on the on the terrace and we're looking out at bamf and you can see the the lights twinkling and there's fat snowflakes dropping and we're laughing and loving and just enjoying life and loving just enjoying life and he's hugging me from behind and then I feel him let go and he gets down on one knee and he pulls out the ring I bawled immediately and I said yes of course then we went upstairs to the to the

restaurant and he announced to the whole restaurant, he's like, she said yes. And then everybody was congratulating us. There was applause and tears and pretty, pretty wicked, I got to say. So when Sean became sick, Jennifer says they weren't sure if it was an infection or another respiratory virus. Sean was already asthmatic and after being diagnosed, he spent a few days fighting the virus at home. But Sean and Jennifer realized he needed to go to the hospital. He looked horrible. And he said, yeah, I think you should take me. And I said, you should have let me take you a long time ago.

And they said they were going to ship him out to Grand Prairie. I wasn't allowed to go with them. You know, that's when they shut down everything, and I wanted to go with them. But so he went, and he was was texting me and we were talking. They said they didn't even want him talking. So he was busy texting, texting everybody, actually texting all his friends, texting me. And then what happened? He said that they were going to put him on some new air and it's supposed to help open up his lungs and he sent me a photo of himself with that new air and you know i said let's just pray let's keep praying that it works

keep positive and he's like yep and he is talking to his his friends and they were praying for him everybody was praying for him his oxygen wasn't getting better not even with that new air it wasn't getting any better um they they put him under um March 20th and at about 8 p.m. and he was texting me and he's like, okay, they're here. They're here. They're going to put me to bed now. I love you. And that's the last text he was able to send.

Jennifer, I'm so sorry that you went through this. I'm so sorry that you lost that you lost Sean. How are you doing now? How have you been these last several months? What has life been like for you? It's been a roller coaster. We used to talk about it all the time, about our funerals. He's like, I want people to be playing crib. I want people to have a poker game.

I don't want no sad music. You know, there's good things happening and there's bad things happening. And it's just trying to keep a routine going. He sounds like such an incredible man and father and husband. Thank you so much for sharing parts of him with us today. We're going to end our show today with a song, which I know means something quite special for you, Wanted by Hunter Hayes.

And just before we end this conversation, I wonder if you can tell me why this song. Actually, a kid, one of Sean's work kids had showed him the song. He's like, you got to listen to this song. So I listened to it. And he's like, that's me and you. That's totally me and you.

And it was our wedding song, the song we first danced to when we became men in life. This song is going to play us out. It's Wanted by Hunter Hayes. It was Jennifer and Sean OJ's wedding song. Today would have been Sean's 35th birthday. Put aside the math and the logic of it. You gotta know you want it too. Cause I wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips. I wanna make you feel wanted.

And I wanna call you mine Want to hold your hand forever And never let you forget it Yeah, I want to make you feel wanted All right, that is all for this week. FrontBurner is brought to you by CBC News and CBC Podcasts. The show was produced this week by Imogen Burchard, Elaine Chao, Allie Janes, Shannon Higgins, and Katie Toth,

with help from our intern, Ashley Frazier. This week, our sound design was by Mandy Sham and Matt Cameron. Our music is by Joseph Shabison of Boombox Sound. The executive producer of FrontBurner is Nick McKay-Blocos, and I'm Jamie Poisson. See you next week. It's going to be a busy one. We, of course, have the American election. You might want to hold your hand forever Never let you forget it