Front Burner - Introducing: Life Jolt

Episode Date: May 1, 2021

Life Jolt - prison slang for a life sentence - examines the lives of women navigating Canada’s correctional system. The team gained unprecedented access to the Grand Valley Institution prison, the federal pen for women in Ontario, for a full year. They followed women going into prison for the first time, spoke with lifers who have been there for years, and parolees as they left. Hosted by Rosemary Green, a former inmate herself, Life Jolt focuses on individual women’s stories and the realities of prison life, and explores a wide range of issues including parenting behind bars, segregation, the over-representation of Indigenous women, addiction, trauma and the many obstacles of reintegration. More episodes are available at: smarturl.it/lifejolt

In the Dragon's Den, a simple pitch can lead to a life-changing connection. Watch new episodes of Dragon's Den free on CBC Gem, brought to you in part by National Angel Capital Organization, empowering Canada's entrepreneurs through angel investment and industry connections. This is a CBC Podcast. Hey, everybody. So we have a very special bonus episode today. It's the first episode of a brand new series from CBC podcast called Life Jolt. Life Jolt is prison slang for a life sentence. And the podcast examines the lives of women navigating Canada's correctional system. The team gained unprecedented access to the Grand Valley Institution, the federal penitentiary for women in Ontario, for a full year.

Host Rosemary Green is a former inmate herself who is now a university student and vocal prison reform advocate. Life Jolt explores the realities of prison life and a wide range of issues, including parenting behind bars, segregation, the over-representation of Indigenous women, addiction, trauma,

and the many, many obstacles of reintegration. We've got the first episode titled The Before Times. Have a listen. The following episode contains difficult subject matter and references sexual assault. Please take care. I remember the day I went to jail. I remember getting off that plane in Miami, and as soon as I stepped up to that immigration desk,

I knew I was in trouble. I was arrested, and the immigration officer, he led me through the airport after putting the cold handcuffs on me. I remember my hands being put behind my back and being led through that airport. And if anyone knows about Miami Airport, it is busy. And I remember there was a little girl walking with her mom.

And she grabbed onto her mother's hand. And the shame that washed through me was more shame than any critic could ever throw my way. My name is Rosemary Green, and this is Life Jolt. It's a podcast about the experience of women in the correctional system. Women like me. It's a podcast about the experience of women in the correctional system. Women like me. Life Jolt is prison slang for a life sentence.

But in a way, every jail sentence is a life sentence. It doesn't really end when you get out. I know. I've spent five years in a U.S. prison for drug trafficking. It haunts me still. but I'm here to tell you that I am so much more than my crime. We all are. In this episode, we're going to focus on the first stage of a woman's journey through the criminal justice system. Let's call it the before times. Before you've had your day in court.

Before you're convicted or acquitted. That period between your arrest and your sentence. When you really don't know what's going to happen. If you'll be sent to prison or for how long. The wait can be excruciating. If you're lucky, you'll get bail. And at least you can wait at home. If you're not so lucky,

you have to wait in jail, unremanned, like I did. And like Diana did. There's no alleged about it. I came home drunk, and I thought my husband and friend was cheating because she was there, and we had an argument

a week before, like, so I couldn't understand why she was there. I just blew up. I got mad and they take off. My husband went up the street to a friend's house and she took off. I don't know where she went at first. Diana is one of roughly 2,000 women in Canadian prisons. You want actual detail? Well, I grabbed his guitar and I started storming up the street. So I went in there and I smashed the guitar over him.

She's describing the assault that landed her in jail. We've been married 26 years. And I've never... That's not how I am. And then the guitar went to pieces, so I was hitting him with my fist, and then as I'm getting pushed out of the house, I saw a pot of boiling water, and I threw it at him.

And I came back to my house, and my husband's a target shooter, like 22. I never even fired a gun before. Diana grabbed his rifle and went looking for her friend. And now I have to go to prison. Nothing can change. Change nothing. My producers, John and Danielle, first met Diana at Quinty Detention Centre in Napanee, Ontario.

She is awaiting sentencing on two counts of assault with a weapon and one count of using a firearm while committing a crime. Hi. Hi, John. Diana. Nice to meet you, Diana. This is Danielle. Danielle, John, I'll probably forget your names. That's okay. This was her fifth jail since her arrest. Thanks to the alcohol and drugs, the arrest is a bit hazy to Diana now. But it slowly comes back to her.

I know I was telling them everything, though. I was telling them all of it. They kept saying, I remember this, too. They kept saying, you have the right to remain silent. But do you understand? And I'm still just going on and on and on. I really didn't think I was going to be in trouble. I don't know. Like, I've never been in trouble. I've never been with the police. I've never like, you know, I thought, OK, you did wrong, go home. It's hard to come to terms with that feeling. One minute you're a free citizen

and the next minute you're on your way to jail. No, it wasn't until, like, I think the next day. The next day when I went to court, I think it was the next day I went to court and the lawyer was talking to me and, well, you got to go to jail. And think it was the next day. I went to court and the lawyer was talking to me and, well, you got to go to jail. And that's when it hit me. I was more sober and everything too, right? So, and then I freaked out. I'm like, whoa.

And that's why they had to put me on suicide watch. My arrest at the Miami airport will be seared in my mind forever. They brought me into a small room and they started to ask me questions. And there were so many immigration officers around me. And they were just all staring at me, all eyes on me. I remember them going through my stuff. I used to always wear a necklace, a cross necklace.

I was never big on faith, but I always wore this cross necklace. And as I sat there in this detention part of an airport, it was so cold and you could hear the vent blowing. And I remember them saying, what did you do? Where are you coming from? And I just remembered trying to lie, even though I knew I was caught. But the deal breaker was when they asked me to take off the cross around my neck. I'd never taken this cross off. I felt like it was like a protection, even though I didn't believe in God. So they took off the cross and I handed it to the immigration officer. And then there was another immigration officer who was going through my wallet.

And he pulled out a picture of my four children. And he said, are these your kids? And I remember telling the officer, those are my children I was angry by that time because he was touching my children even though it was just a picture and he said if you don't tell us the truth you will never see them again although that seems so far-fetched like never that's kind of crazy in that moment of darkness and despair I believed it and that was my breaking point and I said I will tell you everything you want to know just put back my children put them back how you doing sorry okay Put them back.

How you doing? Sorry. Okay. I'm sorry, Rosemary. I know this is a lot to process. It's okay. It's what I signed up for, right? Yeah. Whew. After that incident, a part of me died.

I let my feelings, my weakness, and the things that made me weak, such as my children, almost like they disappeared. Although I had conversations with my children while I was in prison, I had to allow my fight to ignite, that fight-or-flight instinct that is within all of us. I had to fight now. I had to allow my survival instincts to kick in. And that would mean letting go of the things that made me weak.

And as much as it pains me to say it, in that moment, under those circumstances, my children made me weak. I'm 46 years old. I've never been in trouble with the law. It's my first time. And hopefully my last. Diana's learning about remand. It's a certain kind of agony.

The courts haven't decided if you belong in prison yet, but they're pretty sure that you don't belong in society. I've been here, I think, almost six months now. I've been transferred a few times. I've gone to Ottawa-Carlton. I've gone to Sarnia. I went to Vanier for a night. And I think that's it.

It's hard enough to be in jail for the first time. But the constant transfers make it even worse and nearly impossible to stay connected with family and friends. I don't know what to expect for jail. This is all I know right now. And when I get, like, transferred to another jail, it's like the first day home. It's scary. Then I get transferred back, and it's like,

not that I'm home, but it's familiar, and I'm not afraid. Then I get transferred back and it's like, not that I'm home, but it's familiar and I'm not afraid. Then I get transferred out again, then I'm afraid. I didn't get moved around as much as Diana did early on, but I'll never forget going through intake for the first time. But I'll never forget going through intake for the first time. I remember being led into the detention center and them taking my fingerprints and taking my mugshot and making me strip. And I remember gripping onto the clothes that I was wearing and not wanting to let go of them

because it was the last thing I had left. You took my cross. You took my pictures of my children. This was it. This was all I had left was my clothing that I had on. And they told me I had to put it in a box and that it was going to be shipped back to my family because they can't hold it because I'm not an American citizen. And they basically said, strip. And like every part of me, every part of my humanity was stripped away in that moment because that's when they began to say, bend over, cough, spread your cheeks.

And they gave me this jumpsuit, bright orange jumpsuit and blue shoes, these blue sneakers, no shoelaces. And then they're given a bedroll. And inside this bedroll, there's a half toothbrush about three inches long and toothpaste and a roll-on deodorant. And you're walked into the detention center with these big, huge doors. They made these doors to slam so you could know that you are locked up and you're going to stay in here. It was this big, open area with two tiers,

the rooms where the women would stay in. At the time, I didn't know what it was. So I walked in. I stood there with this bedroll, and then all of a sudden everybody started coming out of the room, staring at this new girl that had just walked in. An officer came and they're like, inmate 804-67004, proceed to room number. And then they tell you what room to go into and you walk through the door and then you lay in your bed. And all I felt was emptiness.

Then comes the strange reality of this new world you're living in. The group I have in dorm are amazing. They end up, you know, becoming very close. Like when you're in a cell, the toilet's right there and your bed's right here. And you got to go, you got to go. I'm with you, Diana. I've been there. There are few things tougher than using the commode in front of your bunkie or a guard. This dorm, it has like an octagon table kind of thing. It's got four chairs. It's got two bunk beds. Just in the bathroom, the door is just a toilet and a sink. And it's overhoused here,

like it's big time. A lot of people. Like we have people sleeping on the floor, on the mattress, like underneath tables and stuff, yeah. Despite the close quarters, Diana says it's hard to get to know the other inmates. A lot of them come and go, because it is just a remand center. A lot of them get out on bail, a lot of them have already done their time. And I think it's just a bunch of good people that did something wrong. Make mistakes. So during my time on remand, the thing that stood out to me the most was

feeling like I was walking through a fog. You can't see in front of you, you can't see behind you, to the left or the right, up or down. And you're walking through this dark time because during remand, you don't know what your sentence is going to be. You don't know. If you're told your guidelines were 10 years to life, which I was given, I didn't know where my life stood at that time. It was in the hands of somebody else. I was completely out of control. And during that time of fog, it can be so trying and so difficult, but everybody finds their own way of coping. Diana is finding her strength in her faith.

I've been trying to get baptized in here. I spoke to the chaplain and he said there's never been a baptism done here before. But I said, well, between you and I, if we put in some requests, maybe I can be the first one. But just to have that, I guess, a chaplain or something, and it just blessed me. Be cool. Sure, I'm sad and depressed, you know, but I'm also still one to tell jokes and try and lift someone else's spirit.

But in the showers, it's where I'll cry. And then I come out as if nothing's wrong with me and carry on my day. The not knowing is hard. But I just live each day one day at a time. One day at a time One day at a time It's good advice Because she's right

That not knowing is tough Especially in the beginning When you're first arrested You have no idea what your future holds Or how you're going to survive it I occupy myself in here with the Bible and write letters to my kids. They write me back.

My 25-year-old, you fold up the paper like an accordion, and she'd draw a head, and I'd have to draw the body part to it, but I can't see the head, and put it back in the envelope and mail it back to her, and then she'll draw another piece and back and forth, and my other kid... Her daughters come as much as they can, but even when they do visit it's hard to connect it's uh well it's got a glass and um you don't have a phone

it's just like this little grate at the bottom and even talking like this you have to actually bend right down and talk into it and put your ear up to it so whenever we're talking we don't get to see the other person's face or anything and then we'd lift up our heads to look through the window and then we'd have to put back our heads down they'll have to put theirs and sometimes you just have to laugh why is that Mickey Mouse doesn't have very many friends because his wife's a rat and his best friend's a goof. Oh, God. That's a total jail joke.

That's not very good. It's funny. Oh, my God. I got a whole bunch of them. People on remand make up a huge part of the Canadian prison system, roughly 60% in 2018. That's 140,000 people incarcerated without a conviction. Despite those huge numbers,

remand is supposed to be a last resort. Unless you're a public safety risk or a flight risk, bail is the court's first option. Diana was granted bail at first, but it didn't last. She couldn't stay at her house because that's where her husband Harry was living. The courts had given Diana a standard order to not communicate with her victims, and Harry was one of her victims. So a friend agreed to put her up. But that was an unstable situation that eventually fell apart. So Diana was sent to remand, not because she had suddenly become a safety or a

flight risk, and not because she had committed another crime or even misbehaved. She was sent to jail because she had nowhere else to go. When you're staring at a prison sentence with nothing but time to worry and wonder, it can lead to a lot of self-reflection about the choices we make and why. I lost control of who I was at a very young age. At a young age, I was sexually molested. I'm not looking for a justification for why I chose and did the things that I did.

But the reality of it was that that had happened to me. And that turned me into an angry person. It is said that people who are sexually molested either completely abstain from sex or they indulge in it. My drug of choice became men. I slept around. I hated my life. I hated my existence. And that led me into making very destructive decisions. I ended up getting into relationships where I was abused. And at one

point, I was actually raped by one of my partners. He broke into my home and he raped me. I had such an anger at this point that I was determined that I was either going to get killed by my own destruction, or maybe if I slept with enough men, I would end up with AIDS one day. So I ended up having children. My first set of children was twins, and then I went on and had a son, and then I had my youngest daughter with a married man. This married man and I happened to know some people who were drug dealers and he introduced me to crack cocaine. I was never a person that indulged in drugs. At a young age I tried marijuana. It never worked for me so I was never going to touch drugs. But my drug of choice, as I said earlier, was men. But then it transferred into money. And I loved money. So although I was seeing

people taking these drugs and literally decaying their bodies, just drifting away and watching them taking these drugs, and it didn't matter at that point because all I wanted was the money. That was my fix. And then an opportunity arised where I was able to travel to the United States and get some drugs and traffic it over to the border. And then at the border, I would meet up with somebody and they would transfer the drugs over to Canada. And then I did that and it was so easy. One thing about being in the streets, when you've been in it long enough, people get to know you. Well, at this point, my name was out there so well that it came in contact with the Colombian

cartel. And they asked me if I would be willing to traffic liquid cocaine from Panama to Canada. I was offered a certain amount of money to bring back if I brought back these drugs. I wasn't aware of how much it was going to be. All I was told is they would come in shampoo bottles. I was shown the casing that it would be in. Dogs could not detect it. And I met up with some of the dealers

and they said, you just go there, you're going to stay at a hotel and then you'll come back. If you know anybody else, the more people you bring, the more money you'll make. So of course, I got an acquaintance of mine to join in on it with me. So I went to Panama, and on my way back, with all those drugs, I knew my time was up. In the Dragon's Den, a simple pitch can lead to a life-changing connection. So. Hi, it's Ramit Sethi here. You may have seen my money show on Netflix. I've been talking about money for 20 years.

I've talked to millions of people and I have some startling numbers to share with you. Did you know that of the people I speak to, 50% of them do not know their own household income? That's not a typo, 50%. That's because money is confusing. In my new book and podcast, Money for Couples, I help you and your partner create a financial vision together.

To listen to this podcast, just search for Money for Couples. I know my story sounds crazy, which it is, of course. It is definitely crazy. But not all stories are like mine. There is stories of women that are in prison that are relatable like Diana my dad died in 2009 but my mom died in 2013 on the operating table and then after she died I started drinking and Diana used to be a heavy drinker, but then she got sober for 17 years. Then with the passing of her parents, booze became her coping mechanism. Then her husband, Harry, had a heart attack.

He was the breadwinner, and now he couldn't work. Things got very tight. Well, our bills were piling up, and I wasn't working, he wasn't working. Things got very tight. So the reason why Diana was not working was she had severe neck pain. Diana had been working. She actually was a crossing guard in her city. The local newspaper actually featured a picture of her holding her crossing guard sign bundled up like a snowman. But it got so bad, this neck pain,

that she couldn't even hold up her crossing guard sign anymore. I started going paralyzed, and I couldn't even pick up coffee. I couldn't even, like, get out of bed and stuff. And I was just wearing terror. I guess it was pinching my nerve and my spinal cord and stuff. They put in a bone graft, fused it together, and I have a plate and screws in it right now. Diana has degenerative disc disease. That was the diagnosis. Her doctor had prescribed her with pain medication, but none of it was helping. She even had surgery. And this only made Diana more frustrated because nothing

was working. And then I, that's when I started drinking. A couple of tall boys, actually. It was the first time I could move, like, you know, like, without pain. And then she turned to illicit drugs. And then she turned to illicit drugs. Yeah. I just found any kind of anything on the street for pain relief and morphine pills and codeine and stuff like that. The alcohol helped with the pain. The frigging drugs helped with the pain. Then someone offered her crystal meth.

I was still in pain and they're like, oh, well, try this. And I'm like, yeah, okay, sure. Just a few times, probably once or twice a week for a good three, four months straight. I just wanted the pain gone. Diana was drunk and high on the day she found Harry and her friend Allison at home alone. She still can't believe she reached for that gun. I didn't even, like, oh my God, I don't even know exactly how I did it. Or how it even worked, because trying to put it in the little magazine, but the bullets wouldn't go in.

They weren't even the right bullets, and that's why they wouldn't even stay in the little trigger thing, the clip. So I just had them in my pocket. I just know that it was wrapped up in a coat. And when I knocked on the door, I heard her little dog barking, so I knew she was in there. I heard her little dog barking, so I knew she was in there. Diana had followed Allison to a room at a motel. Looking back, she's relieved that Allison's boyfriend was there to kick her out. And now that she's clean and sober, Diana said she didn't actually think that Harry cheated on her.

It was just stupid. I don't believe anything was happening. We always had a great relationship. He's my best friend. And I still happen to talk to him. Just glad nobody got really hurt. And I know I did wrong, so... I got to be punished for it. And I get that.

I'm totally ashamed of all of it. My producers, John and Danielle, met up with Diana's husband, Harry, at a Tim Hortons. I'm Harry. Harry, how you doing? Nice to meet you. My colleague, John and Danielle, met up with Diana's husband, Harry, at a Tim Hortons. I'm Harry. Harry, how are you doing? Nice to meet you. My colleague, Danielle. This is the first time that she's ever been in trouble for anything before. Diana, she's never been charged with anything.

She's actually been a crossing guard for 12 years for the city. She went down there after her crossing stuff and did stuff with the kids, draw it on the cement, put them down in the parking lot and stuff, you know what I mean? She was always good with the kids. Perry also confirmed that Diana's neck problems had her in constant pain. Her spinal cord was deteriorating, making her into a quadriplegic. She could hardly even move. So we went and got it checked out and her bone in her neck was deteriorating.

The system seems to have just swept her under the rug really. They class her because she does the odd straight drugs as a drug person so they won't help her at all. They just push her away which makes her just go get more. I was not aware of all the heavy stuff she was into. I don't know how I could have been so stupid. And then a Monday in March everything changed. We were having a party at the house. There was a girl in the bathroom. On my medication, when I have to use the bathroom, I have to use it now, or I'll actually wet myself. So I hollered in the bathroom.

I said, are you finished in there yet? She said, yes. I started walking towards the bathroom. She walked in the bathroom, and I walked in the bathroom, just as my wife came around the corner. She said, what are you doing? I said, I'm going for a pee. She said, no you're not, you're just in there with that girl. I said, no I wasn't. It was just a big misunderstanding of what it was. I admit that was serious, like she shouldn't have did what she did for sure, but still you know I mean. My daughters talked to her. I drive my kids up to see her, but I can't

see her. They put a ban against me talk to her. I drive my kids up to see her, but I can't see her. They put a ban against me talking to her at all because I'm the victim, right? But we're still a husband and wife. When is my time to make up? I mean, it's really hard, actually. I can't really talk about it too much. I get too emotional.

Come in by the window. I can't really talk about it too much, I get too emotional. I still love her and I want her back. And I'll wait for her. That's not my wife that attacked me. Not who she is at all. Diana knows she's looking at a sentence of at least two years in prison, and maybe a lot more. It means she'll serve her time in a federal pen,

Grand Valley Institution in Kitchener, Ontario. I have it too here. Yeah, I can read it. Diana wrote a letter to the judge in her case to express her remorse. I am writing this letter to relinquish my thoughts and feelings to the court, Crown,

and most of all the victims. I would like to deeply apologize for my unacceptable and disconcerted behavior. I fully admit my guilt and wrongdoing and wish that they both may understand that I absolutely acknowledge how I made them feel vulnerable with physical and emotional pain. My actions on the 19th day of March 2018 was undeniably out of character, which was filled with depression and despair, fear and anxiety, anger and agony. You see, I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol on that said day. Not that it gives me an excuse, but it does justify why I behaved the way I did. I told the truth to the officers then, and I am truly telling it now.

I take full responsibility for my choices and actions on that horrible day. I know I did a crime, therefore it is inevitable that I do some time. a crime, therefore it is inevitable that I do some time. Just please, not five to seven years of time. And again, to the victims, I wholeheartedly wish them the very best. And I am truly sorry for what I had done to them.

Right now, Diana is focusing on trying to imagine a better future. I only have my high school diploma, but maybe I can do some schooling or something. Get a trade or something for when I am finally home. I'm counting up the days, but I just want to start counting down so I get home. Diana has accepted her fate, but she still has hope. Hope that comes from what she's learned about herself while in custody. I've been in here, so I've been sober and, you know, drug-free

for almost six months, and I'm coping with life. And all they give me is just Advil and Tylenol for the little bit of relief I can get, and A535 rub. I can do things in life without drugs and alcohol, and I can manage my pain. If I can do that in jail, I can definitely do that out there. Because I didn't think I could ever do jail without my family, without being by them.

I guess I'm a little stronger than I thought I was. I'm not going to trial. I'm going to plead guilty I thought I was. I'm not going to trial. I'm going to plead guilty to everything I did. I did it. There's no sense in lying about it. It's whatever the judge says after that. The Crown wants five to seven years. My lawyer's hoping for three.

But I still say that's a lot. Thank you. I had a bad day. Next time on Life Jolt, Diana finds out how long her sentence will be and will discover what is waiting for her and another first timer in prison it's very horror movie-esque you know you everyone's kind of it's quiet there's no one else out there you can see people peeking out the windows and looking but other than that it was just dead quiet

welcome to grand valley people peeking out the windows and looking. But other than that, it was just dead quiet. Welcome to Grand Valley. Life Jolt is produced by John Chipman and Danielle Carr. It was edited and mixed by Graham MacDonald. Our coordinating producer is Glory Omoteo. Jeff Turner is our senior producer. And Arif Noorani is our executive producer. Diana is a musician, and it's a passion she'll lean on at Grand Valley. Here she is playing Amazing Grace on a harmonica she borrowed in the prison. I'm Rosemary Green thanks for listening This has been the first episode of the new CBC podcast, Life Jolt.

You can listen to episode two, Welcome to Grand Valley, right now on CBC Listen app and everywhere you get your podcasts. For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca slash podcasts.