Game Theory - Spiderman is a CRIMINAL! (Spider Man PS4)

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Peter Park is the everyman, the good guy turned hero. Our friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man. Right? Well, what if I told you Spider-Man is WORSE than we all thought? Today Theorists, I'm tearing away the mask of the innocent reporter to show you the TRUTH!

With Marvel modernizing Spider-Man as much as they did in Homecoming, I wonder what J-Jona Jameson and the Daily Bugle look like. Fantasy cross-fading, dream sequence. We have literal aliens attacking us from the skies, blonde guys claiming to be gods, and the jolly green giant running amok. And you want to expect me to start trusting Spider-Man? We have footage of him fighting members from the Avengers. Speaking of the Avengers, by the way, you too can have the strength of an Avenger, with J-Jona's joint juice, organic, all-natural, and most importantly, all-American. Except for all that stuff we imported from China.

Only 1999 a case. Buy it now. Hello internet. Welcome to game theory, where, let's be honest, in the world of Marvel, conspiracy theory shows like ours would be huge. Between superhero billionaires, alien threats, and masked vigilantes, can you imagine the questions that would be running through everyone's heads? Who are these people? What are their goals? Am I, my self in danger and there we'd be conspiracy theory every week picking apart the evidence revising our guesses and ultimately trying to expose who these people are it'd be like the purple guy mystery all over again except in real life without all that messy

serial killer nonsense sadly I can't bring my dead memes and half-baked theories to the Marvel masses but they get something even better Jay Jonah Jameson you see a few weeks ago I started looking into Spider-Man's iconic newspaper the Daily bugle for a script but then the new Spider-Man game came out. Now I just can't unhear J. Jonah screaming, He's a menace to the entire city! I want Spider-Man! And what started out as a film theory on journalistic ethics became this. A script all about how J. Jonah is undoubtedly the single biggest hero of this PS4

exclusive game. You're in me right, biggest hero in a game featuring Spider-Man. Now sure, JJJ may not seem like the most ethical guy at first, seemingly driven only by the desire to sell more issues. Or, I suppose, in this new game, get more people to download his podcast? Welcome to Just The Facts with Jay Jonah Jameson. And the way he goes about this might seem at first a bit underhanded, by bad-mouthing the good deeds of our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

I know all I need to about Spider-Man. He runs around causing chaos, wearing a mess so he doesn't have to answer for his shenanigans, and a flashy costume so he gets attention to feed his gigantic, insatiable ego. But when you stop and actually look at what's happening, in the story, Jay Jonah not only proves himself to be ethical, he might just be the only person with a solid head on his shoulders in this universe, even if that does mean slandering good old Spidey. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print its libel. Yeah, I know it is JJ. In the new game, you have a conspiracy radio show. Slander here is the accurate term. So get ready, because today we're covering all the news that's fit to print for this new game.

First and foremost, if you haven't played the game yet, I highly recommend it. Even if you don't have a PS4, I bet you got some friends who go to sleep early and have lackluster security systems. Game theory does not condone breaking into a friend's house to play a game. At no point you do you learn your friend's brand of security system, Google its reset security protocol, invite yourself over for a casual play sash to only disappear to the bathroom with the guys of squeezing one off. To instead use that default code to reset the system and program in your own code, thereby control over the house only to subsequently return later in the evening to play the game. At the beginning of the game, Peter Parker's been spider manning it up for about eight years and he's seen as fair share of super villains. Electro, the Scorpion, Rhino, and Vulture are all sitting behind bars.

Peter no longer works for the Daily Bugle, but instead has himself a job working for Dr. Otto Octavius, a brilliant scientist whose fate is immediately obvious from the first second you see him in the game. It's fine, Parker. I invented this equipment, I think I can handle it. One poor equipment check later, and there's a power malfunction which in turn results in Mayor Norman Osborne cutting funding for Doc Ock's project. That couldn't lead to the creation of a new supervillain, could it? Meanwhile, across town, Aunt Miss, working for a man named Martin Lee, a philanthropist who's working on a charity project who, surprise, surprise, also happens to be a super villain waiting to happen.

When Spider-Man arrests the crime baron Wilson Fisk, aka Kingpin, it creates a power vacuum in the city that's too large to ignore. Lee, now the supervillain Mr. Negative, unleashes an army of demons upon the city, and Spider-Man goes out there to clean him up. And just when you think he's done it, Doc Ack reappears, now thoroughly insane, and releases all the other supervillains that Spider-Man had captured. Oh yeah! And he also unleashes a super virus known as Devil's Breath. So, I'd say that there's a lot going on in New York during the course of this game.

But through it all, one voice cuts through. Jay Jonah Jameson. Keep a close eye on that barista with the man bond making your skinny latte. Alright, so Jameson is easy to paint as a minor villain in the Spider-Man universe. Since we see the world from Peter Parker's point of view, Jameson appears to be a rage-fueled fearmonger who's looking to sell more papers and get more listeners by spreading lies through his clickbaity stories and tinfoil hat anti-Spiderman conspiracies. He clearly has a vendetta against the web slinger.

Just imagine what sort of deviant personality would dress up like that in the first place. A webbed pervert walks among us! Meanwhile, in Spider-Man stories, and particularly in this game, we know that Spider-Man is good. We see his struggles and his tough moral choices. So Jameson taking pictures of him just to slander his good name is disgusting and exploitative and disingen. especially for someone who supposedly claims that he's a journalist with integrity and tells his audience that he reports the news

This is Just a Fax with J Jonah Jameson where listeners like you discuss the issues affecting our city with Pulitzer Prize winning Two time Two time Pulitzer Prize winning former publisher of the Daily Bugle Hey, blood the book But if we stop looking at the world from Spider-Man's point of view and instead from an outsider looking in Jameson isn't actually all that bad Let's start by addressing Jameson's main claim that Spider-Man is a villain. From our near-oomniscient worldview in these stories, Spider-Man does seem like an obvious hero, saving people from fires, punching out bad guys, getting all romantic with the ladyfolk. We also know that he's just a young nerdy kid with the best of intentions. But then look at this.

Oh, did you see that kick to the guy's lower back? And his body just folds over in response. Being slammed forcefully into the pavement and landing on your head and neck? sure that's gonna be fatal or at the very least paralyze him. Swinging around a riot shield like that? That is a ballistic riot shield that weighs in at around 16 to 20 pounds. And Spider-Man is just clubbing people with it. Even if these are criminals, think about the injuries they must have when they're being arrested. Debilitating injuries, lifelong injuries. Does that really instill instill heroic confidence in the guy who captured them? It is not helping when a vigilante leaps into the middle of a crime scene or emergency situation With no training, expertise, or public identity.

What if he injures someone who holds him accountable? That's really the problem with masked vigilantes, isn't it? That's the whole reason the MCU tackled the Socovia cords back in Civil War to ask the question of what happens when you hold heroes accountable for their actions. I mean, think about it this way. Remember how the public and Batman v. Superman got all up in arms about Batman literally branding criminals? Well, here's Spider-Man actively breaking faces, necks and limbs. What else could Jay Jonah think?

While everyone is looking at Spider-Man like he's a hero, Jay Jonah is right to question the mental stability of someone who puts themselves in harm's way to fight crime, and then the criminals he captures come back on the verge of death. And when Spider-Man openly says stuff like this... Morning guys! Who's ready for their hot, fresh cup of bodily heart? It doesn't inspire much confidence, especially in a universe where a regular guy dressed as Spider-Man is able to cause injuries like this.

My top-lake-hangers cut some skills. This won't need painkillers for a few days, but should be fine. Jameson is even trying to make Spider-Man a better hero. He suggests numerous times throughout the game that Spider-Man get proper police training in a badge, so he can play by the same rules as other law enforcement. If you cause the kind of damage he does, what would happen? I'd be doing paperwork until the day I retire, and probably riding a desk too.

And why, my dear friend, should you have to follow these rules and not him? Because, let's be honest here, it doesn't seem like the police in this game appreciate the help that Spider-Man's delivering, saying repeatedly throughout various missions Speaking of not being a help to police, Spider-Man seems to be creating more problems than he's solving In the mission, internet famous, the social media icon screwball literally kidnaps someone just to get footage of old WebHeb to be a part of the live stream. The final matrix barcode will give you the location of a... Wait for it. To help her in her quest against Spider-Man, her fans actively plant bombs across the city's rooftops. Some of my fans decided to bring you a little care package.

You might want to grab those fast. People could get hurt! Then you have the taskmaster who's leaving all kinds of bombs and challenges around the city to test Peter. Can you stop the bombs I've planted? And even when Spider-Man is trying to solve the city's issues, he's creating more problems than he's solving. For example, in the mission under pressure, one building's water pressure is too, And it's up to Spider-Man to pull a Bob the builder and fix it. He tries by releasing a particular valve, but instead of solving the issue It causes other water tanks around the city to burst. That shouldn't have happened I better seal these fast before Jameson pins it on me

Oh, excuse me? Why wouldn't Jameson pin it on you? You literally just caused it to happen and what pray tell was the underlying cause this entire time? Oh, a clogged sewer. That's it. So what started as a simple issue in one building became a citywide problem thanks to Spider-Man. Which means that Jameson is entirely right when he claims on his radio show, He was seen earlier messing with a valve that only qualified workers are supposed to use. And that's without me even mentioning the fact that canonically Spider-Man's webbing only lasts for an hour, a fact which means that all those water tank patches he made with his webbing will be leaking in a matter of hours. Something that even he admits in the game.

Last one, but those won't hold long. While many of the papers are quick to report on Spider-Man successes, they often miss what Jameson is so quick to point out that many of the issues that Spider-Man solves are caused by Spider-Man in the first place. But look at the big picture. Do you have these kind of crimes in Adina? Oh, certainly not.

And do you have Spider-Man in Adina? No. And that is not a coincidence. No, it is certainly not a coincidence, JJ, because for as ridiculous as the game tries to make Jay Jones, as anti-Spiderman rants, literally everything that happens in this game is a direct result of Spider-Man's actions. Spider-Man taking down Crime Lord Wilson Fisk at the top of the game is exactly what Martin Lee was waiting for to enact his plan against the city. As Lee writes in his own journal, quote,

Wilson Fisk has been arrested. I can barely believe it. The day I've planned for, dreamed of, is finally here. And what began as a bunch of common mob thugs working for the kingpin, suddenly gets replaced by Mr. Negative's legion of super-powered demon people. And honestly, it shouldn't be all that surprising. History has shown time and again that an upheaval of organized crime can result in periods of extreme and deadly violence. For example, following the death of Pablo Escobar, the richest criminal in history, a Colombian drug lord whose cartel supplied nearly 80% of the cocaine smuggled into the United States, giving him a net worth of $50 billion Colombia descended into a period of chaos. Attorney Peter Vincent described the situation Quote, every time a major leader or any sort of transnational criminal organization gets taken out of the game there's a vacuum that's created and nature abhors a vacuum. There were literally hundreds of dead bodies as individuals tried through sheer force of power and murder to establish their bona fides as the next generation of leaders.

End quote. It's something that Fisk knows. I'm the one who kept order in this city. It's something that J. Jonah knows. We're gonna have a gang war in the streets, but does that whip-headed moron give a damn? Of course not. It's something that anyone who's interested in taking apart in law enforcement in a major city should know, but Spider-Man, nah. He's out there to solve the crimes, not deal with the messy political ramifications that come as a result of it. Jay Jonah might not realize it, but Spider-Man is also at fault for unleashing Doctor Octopus. Peter Parker helps Dr. Octavius invent this incredibly dangerous prosthetic that doesn't show up to work on time. Sorry, I'm late. Resulting in its catastrophic failure and Otto's loss of funding.

The grant agreement you signed has strict safety provisions. This isn't your first violation. And why was Peter late? Oh yeah, because it was too busy Spider-Manning it up, which creates both Mr. Negative, Doc Ack, and the rest of the city's supervillains set free. Now, even if Jameson might have a point about Spider-Man being a threat, you could argue that Jameson is still biased,

and you wouldn't be wrong there. But interestingly enough, the Society of Professional Journalists' Code of Ethics doesn't strictly abhor bias, so long as it's properly disclosed. A secret agenda would be misleading the public, like say if Jameson were actually being paid by Oscorp to dehumanize Spider-Man, but he's clearly not. I realize Norman Osborne claimed he was stepping back from running OzCorp when he was elected, but has he? Or is he using his office, his public trust to enrich himself beyond imagining? Has his greed endangered us all? He even goes through great lengths to distance himself from Osborne when Osborne comes on just the facts. Well, that's my job, Mr. Mayor. All I have is my integrity, and I won't compromise it for anyone.

Jameson even goes through great lengths to disclose other biases he might have, such as reporting about Scorpion. I want to address the matter of the Scorpion. I paid for the procedure that empowered him. It's not my fault, the treatments drove him crazy. It's that ivory tower, elite scientist. He didn't take proper precaution. True to his journalistic integrity, Jameson will even admit when Spider-Man does something right. I'm not saying he never does anything good. I'm saying he causes more problems than he solves. Which means that Jameson is doing his journalistic diligence. In fact, he's the only one standing up for the common people of New York.

When Mayor Osborne calls in Sable, a private security firm that jails innocent civilians and takes militaristic control over the city, Come on, Demons and escaped prisoners on the loose, you're arresting protesters? Jay Jonah is there to call them out. He's the one giving the voice to the voice list by making the public aware of these issues. They pointed their guns in me, ram me off like a criminal. Caller, this is deeply disturbing to me. I promise you, I'll bring it to the attention of the proper authorities.

Emergencies do not permit the suspension of human rights. The game makes Triple J here seem like a conspiracy theory crackpot. But if you stop and look at his actions, he's an incredibly stabilizing figure for New York, a calming voice in times of actual crisis, even if that calming voice is shouting at the top of its lungs. I know times are hard and we are all struggling, but if you see someone who needs help, do what you can. We must pull together or fall apart. Jared, write that down. That was a good one. When a massive virus outbreak causes Manhattan to come under quarantine,

Jameson doesn't toss around blame and throw a tantrum because he can't escape the city, he rather contacts the National Disease Center and tries to reassure the frightened citizens. The NDC is doing what they can. If they're busy dealing with outbreaks all over the country or the world, that's less time they have to work on the anti-serum. I know it's hard to trust anyone these days, but you've always been able to trust me to tell it like it is, and I am telling you now, do not violate the quarantine.

Stay in your homes, take care of your families. I'll be right here, facing it with you. We're New Yorkers. We can handle anything. Not exactly what you'd expect from the guy who's usually screaming about the looming threat. When everyone else seems peaceful, but that's who Jameson is. He's the voice that gives the people what they need, whether that be comfort or an icy, cold wake-up call. Your elected officials may not be willing to fight for you, but Jay Jonah Jameson is.

Spider-Man is generally seen to be the hero of his stories, and Jay Jonah is, at best, a comedic blowhard. Crap, crap, mega crap. I'll give you 200 bucks for all of them. And at worst, a greedy sleaze ball. But in Spider-Man for the PS4, it's clear that he's the hero that New York needs. His voice loudly protesting against the breakdown of the fabric of society, reminding people to stay vigilant in these trying times. You may not agree with him because you see things that he couldn't possibly know,

but when it comes down to it, Jameson is a vital part of Spider-Man's world. Pushing this hero to be better, do better, that is perhaps the most heroic thing that any normal civilian could do. But hey, that's just a theory. A game theory. Thanks for watching.