Game Theory - What is a Kirby? The SCIENTIFIC PROOF!

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

With Kirby Star Allies announced, I thought it was time to show our favorite puffball some love. Kirby was by far one of my favorite characters growing up and I fondly remember all his games. However, I’ve never been able to wrap my head around one question: Just what is Kirby? Sure he’s a star warrior, but what IS he? Well Loyal Theorists, I think I’ve stumbled upon the answer… Prepare yourself for a scientific journey!

Hmm Hmm Stuck in my throat Stuck in my throat Welcome to Game Theory Providing you with your weekly serving of free-range organic brain food since 2011 Today we're gonna be discussing the playful pink puff ball from Planet Pop Star The Warp Star Warrior, the dynamic dream lander

Kirby For anyone that's unfamiliar with this series And let's face it, if you don't know who Kirby is at this point Then you're going pretty far out of your way to avoid it. Kirby franchise started back in 1992 with the initial entry Kirby's Dreamland and has since launched over two dozen games Selling over 35 million copies which is more than double Metroid sales and triple Star Fox And here's the internet wondering why Nintendo's so slow to release more Samus games Why create a sprawling space opera when all you got to sell some games is give a pink blob the super power of friendship

I mean look at that he's holding an umbrella to stop the water Oh it's so cute take my money Nintendo I love Kirby games. I love Kirby games. The holiday season always makes me think of Kirby. Kirby superstar was my all-time favorite birthday present growing up. My birthday's in November, so I associate with the holiday season. And two-player Epic Yarden around Christmas was the way Steph and I celebrated getting engaged when it was too cold outside in New York to do really anything else. So I wanted to take some time today to look at Kirby. And I mean really look at Kirby. Because what the heck is he's supposed to be? Sonic is a hedgehog, crash is a bandicoot, Mario is a homo Nintendoness, which, which I mean, really look at Kirby. Because what the heck is he's supposed to be? Sonic is a hedgehog, Crash is a bandicoot, Mario is a homo-nintendo- is a whole nother episode. But Kirby is a, what, pop starian? What exactly does that mean? We know that this is a universe with Earth on it, post-apocalyptic frozen over Earth, but Earth nonetheless, so it can't be too far outside the realm of our own biology. So I took to the internet scouring the pages of the web for information, clues, anything that would help me scratch this itch, but to no avail. No one knows. Even Masahiro Sakurai, the creator

of Kirby, claims to not know what his own creation is. Well, all of that ends today. What exactly is Kirby, you ask? Oh, loyal theorists, brace yourself for this one because I think I've solved it. Kirby is a single-celled organism known most commonly as an amoeba. So grab yourself a hyperactive lollipop and hop aboard your warp star because it's long past time I tackle the science behind this sucker. Kirby's body is a strange one for sure, but it does have consistent behaviors throughout the series. For one, we know his body is elastic.

Notice here that the force of him hitting the ground causes his body to shift to the side of impact. Then bounce back to normal. It's a lot like a water balloon bouncing off the floor when it's dropped. When he runs, we clearly see that the force of the wind against his face deforms him a bit too. These details about his movement suggest that Kirby doesn't have a solid internal structural system and instead is just a giant ball of fluid. But we don't just have to guess that. We can actually scientifically prove it with an x-ray of Kirby. You might call it Kirby's inside story. Different franchise that was just wrong and stupid that man. But you may be asking me right now, how do you get next where we have a fictional character? Easy! The original Smash Bros. Yeah, of all places. In this game and only in this game, when characters are electrocuted by Pikachu,

you can see all of their skeletons. Hey, uh, Captain Falcon, looks like you might be missing a rib or two there. Uh, Star Fox, I'm a bit concerned that your tail is literally one giant bone! But across the 12 characters in the game, three show themselves as not having a skeleton. Can you guess which three? I'll wait, but not too long, because you literally have a pause button and you can just pause and think about it. Kirby is obviously one, because we wouldn't be talking about this if he did. Gigilypuff is another fairly obvious example.

Well, you can see here for both of them, they clearly have no bones inside of them when compared to their bone-bearing opponents. And the third character, the one you might not have guessed, fun fact, is actually Sammas, who doesn't reveal her skeleton, but rather her real body hidden inside of her spacesuit. Cool details, right? Now let's look at Kirby's... Arm hands. Hand arms? Let's just call him nublies. Kirby's nublies. Kirby's been shown holding objects like hammers, whips, and swords, but in every single instance he's holding something, he never ever sprouts fingers from his pink, stretchy, fleshy nublies.

Instead, it's almost like whatever he holds just sticks to him. But Kirby isn't just some sticky ball. He's making a choice to stick his nublies onto these objects. Otherwise, anything he smacked, bumped, or ran into would stick to him. And I think it would be a very different game at that point. In fact, I know what game it would be at that point. It's a Catamari game. Katermari, Kirby! Kirby Mari epic crossover! No need to pay me for the brilliant game idea Nintendo, just send me more of that Super Mario Odyssey serial, as if I didn't collect enough moons in that game. Moving further up on the Nubblee, we see what's happening between his arm and his body, and it's kind of weird. Take a look at Kirby Return to Dreamland. In his running animations, Kirby just

slides his hands up above his head, as if his Nubblies are just rolling around on the surface of his body. They're not in one fixed position, like how our arms are attached at our shoulders, but rather the nublies are able to shift where on his body they're springing out on depending on the way that he's using them. This is also found in Kirby's mass attack and in Triple Deluxe when he's floating, jumping, using the whip. Oh, and to make things even more interesting, his swimming animation in return to Dreamland shows his arms forming on top of his face and then sliding down his sides. All the while, his body maintains the same spherical shape. This would be like, Having your arms sprout out of your forehead so you could reach the last Diet Coke on the top shelf and then being able to slide all the way down to your legs to reach the double stuffed Oreos you tucked away in the bottom of the pantry. You know the places you've hidden all the unhealthy food that you're trying to stay away from but ha ha ha my nubly arms have beaten this full proof healthy eating plan Can you guys tell I'm trying to get healthy? It's clearly not working While we're examining Kirby's behavior in the water there are two other things to note here One he keeps the same shape even when inhaling and two even though he can float by inhaling a bunch of air on the land, he actually sinks underwater.

Now you might be asking yourself at this point, hey Matt Pat, all of these things seem really pointless. How does all of this prove that Kirby is an amoeba? Well, once I start explaining to you the defining characteristics of an amoeba, it's all going to start making a lot of sense. As I slid past you earlier in the thesis statement to this video, amoebas are single-celled organisms, meaning they're made up of one cell, as opposed to us, who are made up of billions of different cells. They're also eukaryotic, which means they have a nucleus that tells the cell what to be, what to be, what to be. to do and how to do it. It's like the brain of the cell. Additionally, the life of an amoeba pretty much consists of moving around in a constant search for something to eat. Starting to make a few connections? Well, how about we piece this thing together?

Kirby's water balloon-like body told us that he had to be filled with some sort of liquid, allowing him to maintain structure while still causing the deformations of his body that we saw when running and falling. Conveniently enough, amoebas are filled with a fluid called cytoplasm, which allows them to maintain some level of structure while still giving him enough elasticity to change their shape. Amoebas move around and grab things using stretchy appendages called pseudopods Greek for false foot that can form anywhere on their bodies Basically a lot of cytoplasm moves to a certain part of the cell Pushes out against the cell's membrane and boom new appendage filled with fluid made from just a bunch of stretched out outer casing much like Kirby's little nubles If Kirby were indeed a form of amoeba it would explain how he's able to form arms above behind or even in his face and still move his body without the use of a skeletal or muscular system

It would also explain his ability to selectively grab things that he wants from the environment around him. The science is a bit too complicated to get into right now, but basically amoeba have selectively permeable membranes, so certain things can pass through the cell and other things just can't. So likewise, Kirby could selectively choose to grab things with his nublies, or just let him be neutral and stay outside his membrane at all times. But don't worry, if having an arm coming out of your face wasn't exciting enough, there's even more benefits to the wonderful world of forming false feet all over your body. In multiple Kirby games including Kirby Superstar, Return to Dreamland and Kirby Triple Deluxe, Kirby has himself a guard

If you look at Kirby during this guard, he's just throwing up his arm and assumes a defensive stance But how can he guard like this if he's just a big squishy water balloon ball? Well, the amoeba theory has an answer for that too. When placed in extreme situations, amoebas are able to form cysts Basically like a thick layer of skin that hardens in order to protect themselves. Since he isn't shown using a shield or some other form of protection, just as little nubli, this has to be the only logical explanation for this ability. Otherwise, he'd just begin his soft little nubli's cut off.

And nobody. And I mean nobody wants to lose themselves a nubli. Still not convinced? Well, the amoeba theory accounts for yet another oft overlooked Kirby skill. Division. In most Kirby games, but notably Kirby mass attack, he's shown being split into pieces with each piece still able to function. Not as a hive mind, but rather as separate individuals.

Each Kirby is able to operate on its own and without the use of, of something giving it orders. So how would this work if he were indeed an amoeba? Well, as an amoeba, he only has one nucleus, which means that this would only work if a fragment of that nucleus happened to be in a part that got itself cut off. But what are the odds of that? Have I written myself into a corner?

Have I disproven my own theory? Have I written too many rhetorical questions? No, of course not. I'm adding all this in for dramatic effect. Are you sufficiently dramatized? Have I delayed this long enough? Was this a terrible meta moment for me to put in the first place? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

Here's the big reveal. Generally, amoebas are microscopic, but there are some that are shockingly large. A xenofiophore is a deepwater amoeba that can grow up to 20 centimeters. That is 8 inches in diameter. Stop and think about that. That is the length of a fork for one cell. One cell. That is enormous!

If you were to fill that one cell using a typical human cell, it would take a 100 billion cells. And if you're thinking that's impossible for one cell with one nucleus to be that massive Well, you wouldn't be completely wrong. Where the typical eukaryotic cell has one nucleus that does one job This bad boy has thousands which would completely negate any need for precision when it comes to Kirby's multiplication or should I say Kirby's cellular division Kirby can get cut into as many pieces as he has nuclei for and he'd still be able to regenerate without breaking a But here's the kicker. The biggest twist of them all. Remember how I said that these things grow up to be about eight inches in diameter? Well, according to Nintendo of Japan and Super Smash Brothers, Kirby's official cannon size 8 inches Mike drop. So yeah, if you're not convinced at this point, you're just being stubborn.

Everything from his physical attributes, the way he moves, the way he holds things, the way he defends, he hangs on to things Even how he can divide and still function can all be explained by him being a pink 8-inch sentient amoeba. But, you know, there's still one ability Kirby has that you might be waiting to throw back at me. One thing I've tried to avoid this entire script. One piece of evidence that I have yet to reveal that will not only prove with absolute certainty that he is in fact an amoeba, but also answers one of the biggest mysteries surrounding Kirby. Nay! Video games in their entirety. Yes!

I'm talking about Kirby's copy ability. Since the second installation of the Kirby series, he's had this inexplicable ability to ingest living opponents and copy their powers. While there have been a bunch of speculation as to how this all works, I'm about to hit you with the definitive answer. Kirby's special ability to copy is just an amoeba's special ability to perform endosymbiosis. If you break the name apart, endo means inside, and symbiosis is a really close interaction between two things. Put that together and wha! an interaction between two things that's formed on the inside. In the theory of evolution, it's proposed that one of the ways simple prokaryotic cells,

or cells without a nucleus, turned into the more advanced eukaryotic cells, is by doing just that. Endosymbiosis. Cells ingested one another and just started sharing abilities because it was evolutionarily beneficial. A great example of this can actually be found in our own cells right now. The little organelle inside your cell responsible for what is essentially energy production is called mitochondrondri. Mitochondria actually has its own DNA separate from the DNA of the rest of the cell. This lends to the theory that the mitochondria was, at one point in history, its own organism,

and that a simple cell had ingested it. That cell gained the mitochondria's energy production ability by literally sucking it in and eating the mitochondria. Other traces of endosymbiosis can be found in a plant cell's ability to use oxygen to create energy. Oh, what's that? A new oxygen-rich atmosphere? Well, let me just eat a cell that can metabolize oxygen. Hmm, a fuse that needs lighting? Glad this flamer enemy was around so I could suck it in, ingest it, and grab its flame breath. In the simplest terms, endosympiosis is essentially an amoeba eating another living cell. Obtaining whatever that cell had, and through a very complicated process involving the reading and writing of genetic codes,

filtering out what it does and doesn't need all in the name of survival. And when you stop and think about it, this is exactly what Kirby's copyability does as well. He ingests the enemy, a living enemy, mind you, and only take what'll help him survive. Kirby doesn't eat a waddle-do and suddenly gain its giant eyeball because he already has eyes. And having two eyes is actually an evolutionary advantage. Instead, he gains the waddle-do's beam ability, something that will actually help him to survive. And when he's done with the ability, poof, DNA exits his body in the form of a star. Kirby the star warrior? More like Kirby the cell warrior. But hey, it's all just a theory. A game theory. Thanks for watching.