Garza Podcast - 127 - Getting into Fights, Sick New World & Dealing with Pressure

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Garza & Ernie talk getting into fights, Slipknot, reading hate comments & much more! SPONSORS: Click this link to purchase from Sweetwater & help support the podcast: imp.i114863.net/rnrmVB CHAPTERS: 00:00 Garza Vs Ernie Training for PowerSlap 03:40 Getting Into Streetfights / Schoolfights 12:28 Why Ernie’s Jaw Clicks (He's Fat) 20:08 Ernie’s Last Fight 21:58 Training the Body & Mind 31:08 Almost Quitting Podcast & Music 38:24 Letting Your Emotions Out 43:33 Sick New World, Slipknot w/ Eloy Casagrande 46:57 Difficulty of Keeping a Band Together 51:15 Reading Internet Comments 55:25 Keeping Suicide Silence Alive Forever 57:34 Firing Back at Haters 1:02:12 How Suicide Silence’s Career Has Affected Family, Friends AND Pets 1:08:52 Flying to Jakarta, Indonesia for Hammersonic Festival 1:10:38 Ernie’s Popcorn Kick Drum 1:16:23 Getting Back to Work on Suicide Silence

Slipknot officially with your boy, Eliy Kazagrana. Very badass. I mean, we all knew, but another drummer's standpoint and, like, musician standpoint. Watching Yolai rip with them and, like, play, like, classic songs, it just, it hits different, dude. It was insane. Yeah, well, someone's going to be slapped and it's not me. So, who is it? Certainly not me.

So is there a third party in question that we don't know about? No. It's not me, so that means you. You're getting slapped. I don't think so, dude. Chris, are you getting slapped? No, I'm not getting slapped. No?

Well, that's weird, dude. I know. My lady asked me, are you guys really going to have a slap contest? I'm like, if there's enough pull from the world. From the people, dude. From the people. If the people want it, I will give it to them. I will train.

We have to give the people what they want, dude. I saw slaughter at the pladium and some, some, like, K. Walk past me. He said, I'm going to bet my life savings on you, Garza. for real? Yeah. For me to win. The slap contest. Yes.

Powered slap contest. Fuck that kid, dude. I don't know what he said. And I said, don't do that. Bet half of it. And bet on me. Because I'm training.

And then I showed him how I'm training. I was like, I'm training. I gave him like a, I gave him like a preview of my range. It's true. I walked into the garage yesterday to grab stuff and I saw guards using a thigh

master with his arms, dude, just fucking trying to fucking squeeze him shut, dude, I was like, all right, he's taking this kind of serious, you know what I mean? How do these fighters, fighters, what do you call him, fighter, slappers, train? How do you train for that?

Power slapers? I mean, I'll find out, I'll do it. I mean, same. But also, if we're being completely, if we're being completely fucking honest, dude, like, I know it's hard to look at this shit and not laugh, and it is being taken seriously, obviously, by people, because these are events that are happening and

shit. But, like, Like, I feel Yeah Give me a belt Oh what, this dude's name's Robert Chagio Dude, what's up dude? Is he play bass in Metallica? They get knocked out No, no no, I know

Look I did, I can't Just the thought of either one of us going down It's fucking hilarious dude At this point Fuck it even if you did knock me out I'd probably still laugh about it dude Yeah I'm not the one going down

So it's funny to me We'll see it's all funny to me dude He said it's all fun in games until it's not. The question is he would go first. Is it like a coin toss? Yeah, how does that work? Yeah, do they flip a coin? Is it? Yeah, is it like a... See, that does scare me because that dude, Robert's little like you, and he fucked that other big dude up.

He knocked them out. You know what I'm saying? It's not the size of the fucking dude. It is the technique, for sure. And also, you're hitting someone in the fucking face. I mean, you've seen people even in like street fights or UFC fights, dude, where if you even hit somebody in the right spot and you hit their button it's fucking lights out.

It didn't matter how hard their jaw is or whatever. So I think there's a lot of factors in it. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I never, I want to know something I will never do. I will never get into a street fight. Especially now.

It's not worth it. Well, one, I do feel protected because everyone on the podcast team here has my back and they're all, you're all scrapers? We just talked. I'm like,

dude, how are you the only one that hasn't been in a scrap? And all of us have just fucking been wild boys dude like i will share so this is another opportunity for me to actually share something about myself i never been in a one i want a fist fight never it's it's still so crazy to me never been i've had people get on my face and i i never really been compelled to hit somebody like genuinely i want to hit you i mean like you know it happened in high school like someone this could this could this could be up bleeped out so i was that about to put this out you know you're at

there's like this jock and like we're walking through a high school and remember this guy has this a balloon and I'm walking in my class he's walking to his class and he walks by me hey you like that and he put and he he he he whoops like the fucking balloon in my face and I was like the dude was way bigger than me I'm a and I'm a freshman oh I'm a freshman and I even that I don't remember I remember being embarrassed but never like I want to hit him I never like yeah And I wonder what that is. I never have been, I don't know, I just never wanted to actually hit somebody.

Okay. I have what I think might be like a weird, like, hot take towards you, and it's not disrespect. Like, I don't take it disrespectfully. But also something I have found a lot of times. Big dudes like that, they go looking for it because they just want to fucking, like, you know, flex their fucking size and machismo or whatever.

Yeah. And a lot of the fucking times, you know, they'll do it to someone they know in their brain they could probably fuck up because you're smaller than them or whatever like as I've said it before

dude like even when I was bouncing at the bar and shit like that dude any time I had to deal with somebody smaller than me I was way more careful with a smaller guy than I was with dudes my size I don't know dude

there's just something like I mean dude I hear it all the time when we're on the road from other people that are like dude it's up with Garza he's kind of scary and I'm like what are you talking about

they're like yeah he's kind of fucking like he's intimidating and I'm like how I don't know he just looks like he's pissed all the time I'm like he's probably thinking about the next move about what he's gonna do whether it's you know he's busy he's constantly thinking about the next moves for the band and the podcast and all that shit and so he's deep in thought he's not scary but I get it from other people's perspective and especially if you're quiet too if you were being belligerent at the bar or like being a fucking weirdo and you were like the quiet type dude I wouldn't fuck with you at the bar I'd be like oh fuck that dude to have someone else walk him out, dude. I'm not even going to talk to him.

You know what I mean? So I kind of get that, I kind of get that too. Quiet people are fucking scary. The guy that gets up and starts barking, oh, what are you going to fucking do about it? I'll chop that guy in the throat nine times out of fucking 10 all night long. I got me, you know what I mean? But the guy that doesn't say anything

and gets up and just kind of stares at you across the fucking room, I'm not fucking with that guy, dude. I'm not. And so maybe that's kind of also why it hasn't happened for you because maybe subconsciously some people were like, okay, yes, he's a smaller dude, but he might know some shit he could be fucking packing heat or something. We're not going to fuck with him, you know?

Maybe that's why, I don't know. No, no, I just never... Well, so it's just not your thing. You're just not that guy. You're not a scrapper. Who, yeah, it was... I was trying to think about how many times someone got on my face.

It was that guy. Same crew. It was all the same crew. So it was three times. Someone got on my face. Oh, shit. Okay. And so this was a group of people. Yeah, it was like the bros.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Remember, like, I sat by it. the second time I sat by a bro in class, my age, and I don't, I really, I have no idea what was said, but I think I said something. And then that was enough to like,

I was approached by him and some other guy. And remember he farted on me? Oh, wait. Is this why he hates, dude? And he's like, remember he looked at me and like, let us handle this. And I remember thinking he was a pussy. But yeah, I was pussy as well.

I'm not fighting, but I was like, over what? Yeah. Yeah. And then it seemed, it was like a span of like a few months. And I'll tell you why it stopped. And then another bro punched my friend in the face at, at PE because he was wearing like fish nets. Yeah.

And I remember he made up some story justifying him hitting him. Like he claimed that my friend was talking shit to a special needs person. Which didn't happen. It didn't happen. So this guy was, he made up a story. Yeah, to justify him fucking. Yeah. And then he got in my face. He's like, you think I'm afraid?

Now looking back, he was probably really afraid. He's probably really fucking scared. Yeah, and that was three times. And then it all kind of came to head where, you know, there's like a people in high school that are known to fight. Like, these are like the fighters. Yeah. Okay. So one of them, you met David Ingram.

Yes. Yeah. He's one of my best friends in high school. He's very tall. He ended up joining the Army and he came home safe. A guy I wouldn't fuck with. And he got jumped in the locker room during PE. This fucking, this coward, coward that's going to be tough.

And he waited until David was put on his pants. and supposedly this guy was so fucking tough but somewhere deep down he knew I need to get this guy off guard Yeah, because if not he's gonna beat the fucking shit out of the dude He's couldn't get And that's what happened The David fucking beat the fuck out of him

He's a scary guy dude He's nice but I mean like And then that's not a dude I would fuck with No No and then after that I stopped getting punked Throughout my whole high school It was freshman year

That little kind of period where like they were the bros are talking shit like the new middle kids and then hazing people and shit with hazing and then after that stopped yeah damn dude because i never found myself having to fuck and i remember i remember lying to people that saying that i got into fights yeah for for street cred yeah well you're a young kid you just you just talk gibberish yeah of course of course we all we were all there one time you're just talking and it's just like things are just coming out you're like why did i say that I mean, I shit, dude, I was a fucking band-nard, so like, you still are a band-rard. Well, yeah.

Mm-hmm. You know? And, yeah. I mean, you can imagine how that went. It wasn't awful. I definitely got picked on a lot. But funny enough, though, like, I always, my thing was, I mean, dude, from the fucking, I mean, from, like, I mean, shit, really, from, like, fifth, sixth grade on up. I always got picked on about my size, about my fucking weight.

That was the thing. That was one thing I always got fucking picked on about it. It was never like anything, like, surprisingly, even being a fucking band nerd, like I actually didn't get picked on much about that. It was always just being a fucking fat kid. And now, I was also insanely fucking short until my senior year of high school. I was like 5 foot 5, 5, 5 foot 6 until my senior year of high school. And then I, you know, had my growth spurt and went through like a late puberty and made it to 6 foot.

And so that definitely helped in the grand scheme of things. There you go. But fucking, yeah. And I didn't start getting in fights until after high school. Like, not that people didn't piss me off in school. I think I just knew in high school that, A, I wasn't like a strong dude. I was a fucking short fat kid. I'm like, dude, some of these dudes would beat the fucking breaks off me.

You know what I mean? So I never, I didn't go looking for it. If anyone, you know, I was always like pretty passive aggressive about shit. I would just kind of be like, oh, fuck, whatever, you know what I mean? And then after that, like, I'll admit it. I had that gross furt and made it to fucking six foot and, like, started, like, filling out and shit and getting fucking big. And at that point, you're, like, you know, you're, like, fucking 1920 testosterone was just going fucking crazy. You kind of, like, you start looking at shit differently.

And, like, now, I never went and started fights. Never did that shit. I'm not that. I'm not an aggressive person in that manner. Like, I definitely got in scraps if someone else started a scrap or somebody was. fucking like jumping one of our friends or something like that. I would definitely hop in and fucking do damage control. Yeah.

But yeah, no, I never went. I never went looking for it. And I still don't go looking for it. I mean, that's all I went looking for it once or twice. And I found it. And that's how I ended up with the fucking. It's funny to tell stories. I'm like, but what about this one?

Okay, so Ernie has. Okay, so there's two parts to the story. And I'll say the second part when we were done. So you're a loud eater and it's fucking annoying. So you have a reason for that. Yeah. So let people learn from your lessons. Hmm.

Speaking of fighting. Yeah. This was in my early, very early 20s. I went to a, I decided to venture out and go to a backyard party that was. By yourself. By myself. Which was probably mistake number one. So stupid.

Very stupid. Uh, yeah, I went to a place of people I didn't know. There was supposed to be somebody there that I did know that didn't show up, which, you know, whatever. Fuck it. I was already there. I was drinking, you know, having a grand old fucking time. I, uh, I happened upon a lovely lady and started, uh, having a nice conversation with said lovely lady. Now, in my defense, where this story is going, it takes two to tango.

Mm-hmm. But at any rate, yeah, you know, I was a. I was hollering at this girl. We were having a nice conversation. And unbeknownst to me, her boyfriend, that she mentioned zero times, walks up behind me and taps me on the back of the shoulder. And me, this, oh, by the way, this story is also why I don't drink whiskey anymore. You know, this guy taps me on the shoulder.

I turn around. I'm just kind of looking at him. I'm like, what's up? And he goes, can I help you? And I looked at him and said, I don't know. Can you? And you can kind of tell it where it went from there. He wasn't real fucking stoked about the response I gave him.

And threw a fucking wild haymaker at me. He kind of grazed the side of my ear. And so we started fucking, you know, we were scrapping right in the middle of the fucking backyard. And he was throwing wild haymakers. He threw like a left punch at me. I ducked it, grabbed him by his fucking t-shirt collar, and I headbutted him. I headbutted him so fucking hard that when I came down, I felt his nose like splat on my fucking forehead. and I immediately felt like the wet of the blood come out

and I was like, oh shit. Like, you know, I backed up. There was blood and he was leaking. And the rest of history, his friends fucking jumped in and beat the fucking breaks off me, dude. I got knocked on the ground. When French jump in. It's game over, bro.

I was outnumbered like fucking seven to one with no one there that I need. So I get knocked on the, I get knocked on the fucking ground, you know. And like I said, I'm a big dude. So it's like, you know, I was trying to like, you know, not. not do the fetal position thing, but it's like when you're getting fucking punched and kicked,

you're putting your fucking hands up. I caught a quick moment to be like, fuck it, I need to push myself off the ground. I put my fucking hands down. And when I put my hands down to like push myself off the ground, I look to my left and the last thing I saw

was just a fucking Doc Martin dude and it just fucking went. Boop. Right to the side of my fucking jaw right here. Knocked me out unconscious for, I mean, what felt like an eternity, but it was probably like, you know,

20, 30 seconds or something like that. Yeah, I came to and got up And immediately, like, you know, they gave me a second to stand up Because I think they realized that when they knocked me out They kind of got scared. They were like, oh, shit, like, stop hitting him. You know what I mean?

Like, he's, what if we fucking killed him Or something type of deal? Because I've seen another backyard fights go down Where they're kicking dudes after they're fucking passed out Still fucking hitting people in the face. It's fucked up, you know what I mean? But so I got up and, you know, super fucking dazed And I kind of just like,

My first instinct was to like put myself in a, you know, in a brace position to start throwing fucking blows again. and I went to open my mouth and when I went to my mouth and talked, I couldn't talk and I realized that my fucking jaw was not in the right place. Like I bit down and like my mouth went sideways and I was like, oh shit.

So instead of like being like, all right, I'm going to just keep fucking swing. I graciously bowed out of the fucking fight in the party. I got in my car very panicked and unfortunately because the adrenaline was kicking, I couldn't, it wasn't in pain. But I looked in the mirror and realized I was like, fuck, my shit's fucked up.

I can't go to the hospital. hospital like this. You know what I mean? Like I got no insurance. They're going to ask me what happened. You know, as a young man, I was just like, I'm just not going to do that shit. I drove home, dude, parked in the driveway of the fucking house, and I literally popped my jaw back into place by myself. And I felt every ounce of that. It was the fucking worst thing ever. But it healed on its own. I never went to the doctor, but it did leave this really loud, permanent click that yeah and if I have to chew

chewing food anything harder than like I mean even like certain sandwiches if it's like a like a thick piece of bread or something like that and I have to open my mouth kind of wide it clicked and here in fact you can let me see if the mic will pick it up yeah so it just it does that now permanently doesn't hurt doesn't cause me to discomfort doesn't fucking come out of place

anything like that it just has that click in it but I didn't really notice it for years until A girlfriend pointed it out to me. A girlfriend was like, like, we were at dinner and she made a fucking face. And I'm just like, like, what? And she's just like, that's really annoying. And I thought, I'm like, what the fuck?

I was wondering if like a woman told you. Oh, you know, you know exactly who pointed it out to me. And I was just like, like what? And she was just like, that click. Whenever I need music gear, I always go to sweetwater.com. If it's mics, headphones, or studio and recording gear, Sweet Water has you covered. Next time you need any music gear, support the podcast by using the link in a description

and comment section below. And like it all just came rushing back. I was like, oh shit, like, can you hear that? She goes, yeah, it's loud as hell. And I was like, oh, fuck, did I've been chewing like that for 15 fucking years or something like that, not knowing that the click is that loud or that you could hear it? I just always thought I'm like, oh, I can hear it because it's in my head. It's attached to my, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but apparently everyone else could hear it. too, and I was just like, fuck, dude. So now I'm like, I'm like over self-conscious now when we go out to eat or something, or I'm eating around people. I try to like chew without opening my, like, my jaw so wide. Because if I don't open my mouth wide, it doesn't click all the time. But now I'm like, I'm so self-aware about it and so self-conscious about it that when we go eat somewhere, I'm just like, fuck, or I'll try to chew on this side or like, you know,

order a fucking salad and soup so I don't got to chew super tough. So it's helping me in two ways, you know? Less calories, less shit to eat, and I don't got to chew super loud and hard. But yes, moral of the story is... You want to hear the real side of the story? Okay. So obviously that happened. So obviously there's a click of noise.

There's other noises involved with eating. And it's because you have an unhealthy relationship of food. And the way we eat food is fucking disgusting. Yeah. So, okay, so you can't. You can't, yeah. So you can't blame it all on the, on the fire. I understand, but there's also the other factor when you eat is like this guy is, I thought I had a problem.

This is another level of eating. But you are, you are doing better, you know. I think they're clicking as the, it's about 30%. There's other 70% of, yeah, of changes. you have to make and all that shit too. If you've been a fucking pig, dude. Yeah. Not anymore, dude.

Not anymore. When was the last fight? What, like the last fight I got into? Oh, shit. Coming out of COVID at the bar? Oh, yeah, yeah. I forgot. I knew it's the reason that I was forgetting.

Yeah. That's what was like work-related, but still, I mean, you know, your goal is not to get into a fucking scrap, obviously, at work. You want to eliminate that happening. But, you know, the volatile nature. of things. COVID was a weird time for everybody. People were definitely a lot rowdier, riled up and angry, being stuck inside for fucking two years. We'll probably do that to you. So the kind of people you encountered as a fucking barback

and a security guard, like trying to like, trying to fucking navigate how someone's going to respond to getting kicked out of a bar, especially when it's like, I mean, you really like saw the effects mentally that being stuck inside and having your regular life taken away from you during COVID, how it affected people, especially ones that were drinking. Like, they were, like, extra volatile, extra fucking cranky. Like, people that, like, were bar regulars that were, like, suddenly fucking assholes. And you're just like, damn, real, like, I kind of like you. And I don't want to do this.

But if you keep it up, I'm going to fucking beat the shit out of it. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you know what I mean? People that normally would never test you are like, what are you going to do about it? Fucking big man. And I'm like, I mean, I'm being pretty nice about it still. Like, I'm asking you nicely to please get up and fucking leave. Like who we're antsy.

Still, there's still remnants of it. Totally. But yeah, that's the last time anything like that happened. Yeah. Dude, I'm a fucking peaceful guy. I don't like that shit. I don't like fighting. You know what I mean?

And I don't think I'm particularly good at it either. But if I have to, I will. You know what I mean? It's cool. Our whole team is a bunch of scrappers. It's sick. Except for Garza, dude. He's got nothing but a fucking security detail around him, dude.

It feels like it now. Like, damn. Dude, if anybody ever stepped to Garza, it'd be fucking. game over so fast somebody would just throw a fucking wild haymaker from behind homie's head and just knock him out Chris Chris a camera guy fucking scrapper Zach Zach the kid jay that they're all you're all scrappers yeah it's sick but but you notice we're all incredibly nice people too though like you know what I mean that's I don't think that that's any of our like personalities are like top of the agenda to be like fuck yeah you know what I mean like it's just it's just something that

you know came along with it and it's it's there if you need to, but like, I don't know. I also don't like the feeling of, you ever like, oh, well, yeah, you've never been in a fight. Obviously, we were talking about this past 20 minutes, right? No, no, I know. Okay. The feeling you get after getting in a fight with someone,

or, like, an altercation, is really gross. I don't like the way I feel afterwards, like, because your adrenaline's pumping, but now there's nothing happening. It's not a, I don't know, it's not a good feeling. I don't like it. I get really, like, I get emotional after a fight, like, after fucking.

scrapping with somebody it's weird it's a really weird response like like i don't you know what i mean i don't even know if that makes fucking sense but i think it is because like your your fucking blood's flowing your adrenaline's fucking you know what i mean and you just you're kind of feeling everything on like this heightened sense of like i don't know it's a it's a really like confusing to like try to fucking describe but yeah like i wonder if i i i go back and forth my I wish I got into just one Just one fucking Well look

In a few short weeks You're gonna know what it's like You're gonna know what it's like To get the shit slapped out of you And it goes And circles back around Like Yeah I mean

That's why I got into Moitai I guess I just wanted to make up a last time It's not a good feeling Not knowing anything It's not a good feeling So I recommend anyone Getting into some kind of martial art Yeah

You know And actually I did I did want to say that earlier when we first started the conversation, like to your credit, and I know most people, again, probably wouldn't guess it

by looking at you, like just that first glance, you are fucking strong, dude. Like, you were like, like, really, like all, like jokes aside, like just all, all due respect, like Garza's actually fucking strong, dude, like.

Thank guy that Jim does something. That's what, even, even at that. I mean, yeah, you did train, you did the UFC stuff, the Muay Thai and all that shit. Like, you're fucking, you're strong, dude, like, I wouldn't arm wrestle you

You would for sure probably snap my shit back Like I'm sure of it That's the only reason I'm a little scared of him Slapin me dude is I know he's Garza's pretty Fucking strong I got strong bones You know I mean? Yeah dense dude Got a lot of density from what I hear

There's a lot of things about me that are dense Fucking relax dude Big And long That's why I play Guitar's so good I'm talking about my fingers dude What do you think I'm talking about?

He was talking about his nipples dude Oh, wow. I'm sorry. You also fucking fed me that one real quick, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, thank God for Morsai. I took it for a couple years. It was 26 or 28.

You know, it's nice to know. How much I can throw an elbow right here? Some fucking drunk idiot. That shit's like, I feel like when you do that also, though, it's like playing certain songs you've been playing for years. I know, like, I bet it's muscle memory. I bet if you came down. the way that you got put in a position where you had to

fight or flight, I bet you would throw a fucking nasty roundhouse or an elbow didn't just fucking clean somebody's clock for sure. I would cover my face and throw the most lethal elbow. But at least he knows. He's got a game plan. I will cover my face and throw an elbow. Boom. That's exactly what I probably do.

See what, do that again. Look at his fucking elbow muscle, bro. Garza's bob, dude. It feels like a fucking donut, dude. It's just fucking stuck in there. I'm fucking... It's just fucking... Oh, my God, dude. I don't consider my soul. I do everything because I'm the opposite.

Like, I read books that I feel like, like, an idiot. I go to the gym, because I feel like I'm weak. You know, it's just... I do, like... I do the opposite, you know? I'm... I don't really... I'm...

Okay, maybe because of the way you're wording it, it seems that way. But I think that's why anybody... Well, okay, you're right. I guess you're right. Not everybody does it for those reasons. But I feel like those are... I don't...

like the way you'd word them, but sure, like, I kind of feel the same way about certain things, too. It's like, yeah, I'm going to the fucking gym and eating fucking less because I'm fat and I want to lose fucking weight and look better, you know what I mean? But I don't, that's like, I don't know, you're like, I read because I'm fucking dumb. It's like, I don't think that's a thing. Like, dude, I read a lot too, and I don't think it's because I'm done. I read because. Yeah, because I like, yeah, I'm curious. And I like to just, you know, expand my fucking already massive dome. Mm-hmm. Well, you know, you know. Well, you know. Well, it's,

Well, you know, like, the saying where, like, what, what is it? Like, uh, accept that you're weak or, or, or, what's the saying, except that you're weak or, or admit that, that, that, that, that you're weak, you know, you, you know, you, you know, that saying? Yeah. I, I think it's the dumbest fucking thing on the planet. I think it is too. It's just like, no, it's, it's, it makes sense if you do something about it.

If you, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, say it, okay, I'm not going to go to a fucking gym, but I'm not to say that. That's just throwing your hands up and admitting fucking defeat him being like, yeah, fuck it, whatever. I'm not going to do anything about it. It's like, that's different for sure. The most important part is literally the part after it. Yeah, where you do something about it. Okay, I'm weak. Okay, I'm mentally weak, so I'm going to fucking read or I'm going to get blow-flow to my fucking brain and go to gym or something.

Yeah, yeah. You can't just say I'm weak and then stop. And then just lie down, dude. Like, that's, that is like, that is showing that you're just like, okay, cool, yeah. I'm content with just, well, fucking lying down and dying. lying here and it's like, which, you know, it kind of sucks. That's an unfortunate reality for some people that just don't want any better for themselves. And I think, I think at a certain point in everyone's life, we maybe all experienced that to some

degree, some sort of like complacency or, you know, being fucking just okay, like with where you're at in life. And not, I mean, not that you shouldn't be okay with where you are in life and stuff, but if you're at a point in your life where you know there's massive room for improvement and you can move forward and upward and do greater things like you should absolutely take the fucking advantage of the fact that you're able to because then there's you know there really is always like the other side of the fucking coin dude like think about the people that don't have the opportunities to do that that are you know physically impaired mentally impaired or

you know something where it's like dude those people they'll never get the chance in life to to do that. And that's something fucking crazy. And again, something that I've learned over the last two months and all that stuff too. It's like, dude, if you are able-bodied, man, and you have the opportunities available to you, there's no

fucking reason you shouldn't be doing them. Especially if it's something that's going to fucking improve your quality of life and improve who you are as a fucking person, really make changes for the better and all that shit, dude. And all you have to do is physically get up and go do the work.

There's no real. reason you shouldn't. Really? Like, you know what I mean? It's, it's, it's pretty wild. And yeah, thinking about the other side of the point of people that would never be able to do that or that didn't get the chance to do it and whatever, it's like, damn, you know what I mean? Fuck. Like, yeah, that, that happens often like, like, a, like, a bad day. I'm like, like, shit's just, just going wrong and like you're fucking pissed. And then I'll go to tuck the mall. Then I'll see someone in, like, a wheelchair. I'm like, dude, you're a fucking selfish piece of shit. That, and I've muttered that shit to myself.

the exact same thing. It's like you shut the fuck up. You have no excuse. You have no excuse. I'm not you got to tell your brain you just shut the fuck up dude. Stop being selfish. Because we're why we're human. Humans are narcissistic and selfish beings dude. You got to like kind of stop your brain from just doing that. That's what I'm saying. Everyone has the

ability to do that and have those tendencies. And it is. It's time it's times like that dude where you're just like fuck man. Like I'm I'm sitting down on my able body two legs and hands and working fucking brain and everything complaining about shit and there's people in fucking wheelchairs,

missing limbs or born with stuff that prevents them from ever living a full fucking life the way we do it, it's like, damn, and we're complaining? Like, sometimes that happens and that does it for you. And I've had that conversation with other people around me too, where I'm just like, dude, what are you fucking complaining about?

You have every opportunity available to you to do so much fucking better, and yet you're choosing to do the fucking, not even the bare minimum. You're giving up before you even achieved bare minimum. And it's hard it's hard to handle pressure dude. For sure. Yeah, you got to be a certain kind of person I mean to handle pressure. I mean this I mean I mean the pressure is immense. I remember like right right before like the Lionheart

tour in February I was I mean I did actually immensely quit. I mean you know what too? I'm dude you've put your podcast and I'm done. I remember. Yeah. We were in Oberhausen when we talked about it. Yeah. I remember the fucking conversation. I was like oh shit like I got worried for a second. I was like all right. And but I you know what? I told you know what? I told you. told myself after we had that conversation, I was, like, sitting at catering, and Ed walked by and, like, saw us having the conversation. I guess he knew we were having, like, a serious

talk, because after you walked away, he was like, he was going to all the guards, everything all right? I was like, it's all good. He's chilling. He's having a day, but he's fine. And he was like, everything okay. I'm like, yeah, everything's fine. And I was just like, I mentally told myself, I was like, he's, he's going through it today, and he

was probably going through it yesterday, and it's like, it's compounding. I can see it, but I know as soon as we back home, it's back to fucking business and we'll be fucking fine. And here we are. And, and, and, and I mean, dude, yeah, there's a lot of fucking, there's a lot of pressure. There's a lot of pressure in everyone's fucking lives. Totally. Especially, it's like, you know, if you're, if you're doing, you know, you're doing a lot of things. You're wearing many hats. I mean, hell, dude. Yeah. Like, it is again, an unfortunate byproduct of, you know, my last couple months and things that have happened. But I realized, yeah, it's like, dude, there's, there's a lot of pressure. There's a lot going on. There's so much that needs

taking care of and needing attention and detail to and all that stuff. It's like, dude, you know, I'm doing pods with you now with the band, doing, you know, doing fucking shows, working on a fucking record, working a full-time fucking job, you know, trying to, trying to maintain relationships and friendships and not let them fall to the fucking wayside or let them fucking go bad, you know, and unfortunately, yeah, sometimes it's like, dude, you, you're not a fucking superhero, man. Sometimes you have to fucking accept a feed and be like, fuck it. And as much it sucks, it's going to happen sometimes and you have to fucking realize that you really have to stop and like prioritize what's important to you and, and, yeah, and like, slow down

and take a fucking breath for a second because sometimes you can miss shit and it can fucking, it can fuck your whole day up, dude. But yeah, like, that being said, I'm still very grateful that I have these opportunities in front of me, even if it fucking is a massive workload, you know what I mean? I could fucking, I could have zero opportunity and be doing nothing and be fucking homeless and broke and fucking not have any kind of thing to look forward to or to do, you know what I mean? So, and I've said it before, do you? Like, I gladly welcome the fucking, the chaos and the workload that comes with it and everything else that comes along fucking with it. If I didn't think any of this

shit was worth it, I wouldn't fucking do it. Totally. You know what I mean? I would have threw the fucking towel in. I know, yeah. Years ago, bro. And you guys have been doing it so much longer than me at a higher level, but I had also been grinding for the same amount of time and all that shit and not getting any of the results I wanted as fast as I wanted them. And I still made it.

I'm still here. You know what I mean? And I know that I could have just been like, all right, fuck this. I'm going to go get a fucking big boy job in a suit and fucking tie and call it a day. You know what I mean? But I'm fucking glad I didn't. I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I fucking stuck it through.

And it's cool because now that we're a little older, you also kind of realize you can reprioritize things and figure out how to make both of those things work for you. You know what I mean? And have multiple fucking things to do just besides the band. You know what I mean? And if you're good with your time management and organizational skills, you realize that it's like, okay, you kind of don't have to like,

I don't want to say choose one or the, the other, but if you, yeah, you spread your time outright and you know what you're doing, you can make it fucking work. Totally. And that's, I mean, that's what I'm doing right now, dude. And I'm like, I'm sure people on the outside are probably like, fuck, dude, this guy just doesn't ever fucking sleep. I work a full-time fucking job and come to the podcast, then write music, then, you know,

go to the gym and do all this shit. But it's like, dude, I used to think that was like out of the realm of possibility. The thought of even like, even before doing the band when I was just working a regular job and, like, thinking about fucking going to the gym twice a week to try and lose fucking weight was like daunting. That's what was just me being fucking lazy. You know what I mean? And once I realize, I'm like, nope, it's just a matter of getting up and going and doing it.

And once you're actually there and physically in the act of doing it, you're like, okay, we're good. We're fine. You know what I mean? So, yeah. I'm very blessed to have all the opportunities and to still have an able body to physically get up and go do shit. To come over here and sit down and talk shit to you from across the fucking table so that it goes up on the internet and people can fucking laugh at it or whatever. You know what I mean?

This is going on the internet. Yeah, exactly, for everyone to see, you know what I mean? It almost didn't. It almost didn't go on Internet. It's crazy. But it is. It is, man. But it is.

And like I said, yesterday I was telling you went off the air or whatever. I had that person messaged me and be like, hey, thank you so much for that episode that just went up. It's really cool to see you be a vulnerable person and be that open and shit like that. And I'm like, yeah, of course. You know what I mean? You kind of also don't think they're in the moment. how your conversation with someone can affect someone else. You know, a stranger on the internet who saw this and was like,

oh, shit, you know what? Hey, I'm going through something similar. Now I don't feel so alone. You know, or they look at people like us in a certain light because like, oh, these guys are fucking larger than life or, you know, on top of the fucking world. And it's like, no, dude, we have the same problems as we have the same set of problems as anyone else going through it in life. We're just regular fucking people dealing with life, throwing curveballs at you.

And a lot of us deal with it the same way, you know, suffer in silence, try to stuff it down and go about your fucking day. So like hearing someone that I've never met in my life reach out and be like, hey, thank you for that. It's like, it's kind of an honor. I'm like, yeah, like, thank you for even fucking, you know, getting this far to the episode to even catch what we were putting down and shit like that. Like, that's very cool to me. And I, you know, yeah, I sent them a nice message back. And I was like, yeah, dude, you know, hey. Of course, any time, you know, like there's plenty more to come, dude, like, you know.

It's cool. I like that. I like that. Well, there's more coming. That's my, that's my personal goal to make you cry. That's, that's, that's the goal. That last episode was, I mean, I had to pause a couple seconds a couple times because I was like, I could feel the lump in my throat. I'm like, uh.

Give me like three more. Three more solo episodes with you. And that's it. Unfortunately, if I won't be it for a while. April, I mean, May's looking pretty good as far as people in town. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's looking to be fucking crazy. It'll give me some time to get it together even better, dude, so that you can't break me.

I'm just kidding. No, I will. No, I'm just kidding. No, I will. Totally. Oh, no, no. I mean, listen, dude. No, full fucking disclosure, I have no problem admitting it, dude.

I have probably fucking broken down and cried more times than the last two months than I have in my entire fucking life, dude. And that's like not even an exaggeration, dude. Yeah. It's brutal. It's brutal. But honestly, it's also very like, I said it last night. It's like cathartic, dude, just fucking getting it out, man. Like truly releasing that shit out of your fucking your body and your heart and your mind and just getting it out and being like, fuck, dude, I don't want it anymore.

It needs to go. And that didn't like a good cry. Yeah, that shit will definitely change up your fucking day. Even when you're not looking for it, even when you weren't looking for it and it just happens, you're like, fuck. You know what I mean? It's true. But sometimes it does.

It needs to happen. And honestly, I think, again, a lot of what has been relayed to me and taught to me in therapy sessions, it's like a lot of the times that, that feeling and then like having the fucking like the crazy emotional fucking cry after the fact is your body letting it go, dude, it's its way of releasing it out, dude. It has to get out somehow, and a lot of the times that's how it shows itself. And, you know, it's as

as funny and not funny as this is going to sound to some fucking people, dude, my therapist was like, that is one of the healthiest ways of dealing with it. She goes, because, you know, there's the alternative. There are people that do exactly the things you do. Don't cry about it. Stuff it down for years and years and years. Then they go out and get a gun and shoot up a fucking school or you know what I mean deal with it that way yeah that's crazy and that's fucking scary

dude that's so scary to think about that there are people that have a set of the same issues that would fucking choose to be like I'm gonna go harm other people it's crazy which is terrifying and I know that in my heart I obviously wouldn't never do something like that because I'm I mean even like I said at my lowest of low you know with this you know this fucking form of rock bottom that I fucking hit recently that was never a thought on my mind but it's just like you know, feeling that feeling so strongly, yeah, can lead people to doing really fucking off-the-wall crazy shit. And for me, it was just, you know, getting a lot of fucking, a lot of tears out, a lot of screaming into pillows, a lot of fucking, a lot of long showers, a lot of long walks. You know what I

mean? But that, all that shit is so much fucking healthier than like picking up a gun and moaning fucking somebody down because of issues that you didn't fucking work on or get resolved when you have the opportunities available to you to do them. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, I'm not. I'm not afraid to admit that shit, dude. I've been a fucking crybaby the last two months. Good. But, I mean, look, I mean, I know you'll vouch for me, dude.

This is probably the fucking, like, the most mentally clear and, like, actually, as a human being happy that I've been in a fucking while, like, with myself. You know what I mean? Because you can't truly be happy with other people in your fucking life if you're not happy with yourself. You know what I mean? you're faking it or you're not being a hundred percent true the way you should be

you know what I mean and so yeah I think I put it first time yesterday I saw you listening hard I was like oh yeah she's not fucking flogging he's fucking actually listening to someone else talk oh well I think I got her any I think I maybe spoke like three four times the entire three hours

I was like that's cool you know And it was cool. It was cool to just fucking sit there and like listen to him fucking talk. And, uh, you know, and, and, and I mean, also it was also very incredibly cool for me too. And like I said, I know he's not much older than us by, you know, by a lot. But it's kind of cool, like hanging with somebody like that and like listening to them talk about stuff. And also kind of hearing him open up about like how he's an emotional person and shit like that too. It also kind of gives you that like, that reassurance that it's like, oh, you're not alone.

You're not the only person that's like this. You know what I mean? And it is very normal to be vulnerable and be open and all that stuff too. So it's like, yeah, I really was stoked to just be like, damn. And just sit and listen, you know what I mean? And just chime in, fucking here or there. It's good. That was tight.

That's good, man. God, Dan Kenny talked more than I did, too. Pretty sick, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That's when you learn. I mean, we just fucking listen and maybe throw out a question here and there. You know?

Yeah. Yeah. I was very happy to just be a fucking facilitator, man, and just sit, back and like listen to what's going on and and listen to everyone else in the room and shit like that you know i was probably all you guys yesterday was cool dude i mean everyone's this they're out asking questions you're all engaged you know it's fucking damn yeah it was it was very it was very dope it's badass yeah i had a good time so yeah i guess uh so this is this comes out monday so the so the suicide uh pot is already out so we're talking about brandishipiti yeah yeah that's

yeah that's fine that's so that's already out So fucking check that shit out, dude. Oh, that's right. That'll be out before this. Okay, that's like, wait a minute, hold on a second. It's literally coming out in two days from now. Yeah, yeah. So what did you do this past weekend?

I went to fucking sick New World, dude. Sick. Went to Sick new world. And I worked. I worked the first part of the festival. I worked Saturday morning from like from 8 a.m. to like, yeah, like just before 5. I got off at like 4.45 and started to slow down a little bit. Nice.

Um, popped off my work hat and shirt and put on my fucking regular street clothes and then a Slip into the function dude and just walked around saw a bunch of fucking awesome bands and Got to see Slipknot with with your boy Eloy Casagronda because they just tagged them in the fucking first official post Very badass. I mean we all knew but yeah, we're talking about last week. Yeah, we all is like a Yeah, we all fucking knew. But uh yeah, super super sick. Super fucking sick. Like, you know, I don't give a shit what anybody fucking says, dude, as a, as a guy that fucking definitely formative years were listening to Joey and Slipknot and definitely influenced the hell

out of my drumming. Like, obviously, you know, we will never, you know, we'll never have Joey back or another Joey. But as far as, like, a drummer really, I guess doing him justice, while still keeping it their own style and being like really like just consistent and shit like that. And again, it does bum me out that a lot of people are bad-mouthing Jay

because I'm like, dude Jay's an incredible drummer too. And I mean, fuck, if he sucked, I don't think he'd have been in the band 10 fucking years, you know what I mean? That doesn't happen. But also completely different drummers.

Completely different drummers. And from, I guess from like, another drummer's standpoint and like musician standpoint watching watching e-loy rip with them and like play like classic songs it hits different dude it was insane and you can and you can tell you can tell as watching the entire band play as a unit that everyone else is also in a fucking way different headspace

like they look like a unit they look like a unit and they sound great they look great they really they really look like they're fucking like having a blast on stage again, dude, like, it was fucking, it was all gas, no breaks,

dude, for their set. I was just like, fuck. It was everything sound incredible. Yeah, insane. Even Corey was like,

what the fuck? Where did that come from? Yeah, he sounds crazy good. Like, just wait, wait another couple weeks until they start

fucking doing more shows and you start seeing the comments, they're like, oh, Corey's on fucking backtracks, dude, those are fucking backtrack,

fucking, there'll be some fucking dickhead that will, you know there will. It has to be. I mean, they're already doing the fucking whole Eloy on a click track debate thing, dude, and it's like, he's not on a fucking click, dude. Like, Ken confirm me and your boy Mike Terry hung out with Sancus.

He was giving us the fucking lowdown. They're raw dogging it. They're just that sick, and Eloy's that competent and crazy of a drummer. He's literally one of the best drummers on this fucking rock, dude. He's goaded. He's goaded. Some people just can't be fucked with. No.

No. And like I said, when you get to a level like that, you're going to have a lot of fucking haters. You know what I mean? And especially in a band like Slipknot, which is like so fucking polarizing around because people were like, these guys are just going to fucking fire him in a few years. And it's just like, dude, that shit always bumps me out because it's like, bro, bands change lineups all the fucking time. It's a tale as old as time. Like if you're not Seven Dust, dude, it's just, it's, yeah.

Things fucking happen. New, Semen Dust is literally like a freak fucking band. Yeah. They have all the OGs. It's a freak. You're talking about when you get older, people fucking die or people just grow up. Yeah. It is so.

This, look at this band, this band has experienced it. Slipknot has fucking experienced it. But when you're a fucking band with fans like that, it's just, it's almost inevitable. There's going to be some fucking person that's just going to be like, well, this sucks. My favorite person in the band is gone. so this band should change its fucking name. And it's like, what about the other 3,700 bands

that have all changed fucking original members that still kept the same name? You know what I mean? Like, it's hilarious to me. Like, dude, is there a fucking Death Corps band that has an OG lineup still? I'm even just out the gate. Gun do a head, I'm going to say no.

I don't think there is. I really don't think there is. And there are people that will just sit around and talk shit to be like, oh, you know. you know and it's like a band like slip knot there's nine fucking people in that fucking band dude you know how hard that has to be to keep nine people together

let alone with that kind of pressure and career like impossible yeah sounds like a fucking nightmare is what it sounds like it's just it's this bizarre people that aren't in bands talk about people are in bands and it's always those people do like the dynamic is so difficult that even dude I own the band and even I barely know what the fuck's going on

It's so hard to navigate other personalities, dude, and to do it in like a healthy way. It's always impossible. I straight up tell everyone that has that kind of opinion. I'm like, hey, until you've been in a long-term relationship with five or six other fucking people, you have zero say in any of this. Because that is what it is. That is what it. You're in a fucking marriage in a relationship with five other dudes, six other dudes, and you're navigating six other people's personalities and quirks and, you know, ups and downs. every day. And when you live with somebody every day on tour for months on end,

weeks on and whatever have you, the first thing you start doing as a human being is you start nitpicking shit. You start almost immediately realizing how to press somebody's fucking buttons, what makes them tick. It really is like being in a fucking relationship. You know, you got your girl at home who's like, she knows how to poke your fucking buttons if she wants to get her eyes out of you. It's the same thing. And now imagine that shit with nine fucking people, dude, in a band this massive.

The fact that they even fucking are still a band and have made it this fucking long and are still doing what they're doing at the level they're fucking doing it's pretty impressive. Very impressive. Because I'm certain that band has probably gotten

close to the brink of breaking up hundreds of fucking times. Every band has. So it's just like, yeah, when I hear people that have just zero fucking idea about what it takes and what it entails, I laugh. I'm like, all right, dude.

You've never done this. You wouldn't fucking know. But of course they're going to have a laugh. opinion on the internet or in person. Ernie definitely reached the comments like a fucking idiot. I do. It's fucking, it's entertaining, dude. Good luck.

Good luck, man. I also just don't let it affect me. I read it for entertainment purposes and laugh at some of the shit people say. I'm just like, this is what you did with your day? No, you know, you read it for a little bit of ego too. You could have went outside and touched grass. Do people like me? Nope.

I don't. I don't care anymore, dude. I barely fucking care anymore, dude. I don't fucking care anymore, dude. To deal with you, dude. Listen, I'm here whether those people want me to or not. I don't give a fuck, I'm not going anywhere, dude. Unless Garza fires me, dude, like.

I mean, there, honestly, I mean, we always, like, talk shit. Okay, like, the comments and, like, it's fucking stupid. But, you know, there is a lot of positive out there, but I remember, like, being, like, a kid. Like, I thought it was, like, a... People talk about it amongst, like, bands and fans. It's like a big joke. It's all, no one's serious. I was okay, you know, with S.

like came up and like, it's so bizarre. You're just playing an instrument. And you look up and there's opinions. Like, you don't really do it for that. So I thought this is a big joke. Like all like the websites, which I won't name, I don't want to give them any credit. I'm aware.

I said, okay, I thought like at the comment section and that community, I thought it was a big, I thought it was like a big, like joke. So, okay, cool. I mean, it's just not serious. But then when she gets real, I was like, oh, this. This isn't a joke.

No, these people are serious. Like once like, obviously you guys all, everyone knows what I'm talking about, when something tragic happens and then the comments are still there, I was like, oh, this isn't what people said it was. It's not, it's not trolling, it's not, it's not funny, it's not, so this is. These are shitty people that exist for the sole purpose of being shitty people. I'm not, I'm done reading any, any other. Even like the positive is this, unfortunately, the only way to like,

the only way to make it work is just to step away. You remove yourself from it and just press forward. Like, you know what I mean? Because no matter what you do, positive, positive or negative or mindful or whatever, there's always going to be somebody negative. It's not saying something fucking disrespectful or shitty.

Because that's just, you know, yeah, that's just how some fucking people are, dude. And it does make me feel bad. Those are probably some of the most miserable fucking people on the planet. dude and it's like even those people I don't wish them ill will anymore I'm just like hey dude get some fucking help man I hope one day that you're happy

like genuinely fucking happy man and that those people can fucking get up out of their basement or wherever they're dwelling and look at themselves in the fucking mirror and be like man I need to make a change I should quit being a shitty person you know what I mean so same yeah you probably that too

he's a motherfucker I swear to God I'm just kidding I know I don't I know you are, I know you are. But yeah, like, but also same thing. I probably wouldn't have said what I just said six, seven months ago. Like, I'm like, fuck those people, dude. You know what I mean?

But it's just like, you get to a point in your fucking life where you just, you kind of start coming full circle and understanding that there are some people that will truly never change their ways that'll just be that way the rest of their fucking lives and they're okay with fucking dying that way. That's sad as fuck, dude. like, but an unfortunate reality. And I knew I didn't want to be one of those fucking people, you know what I mean? Is this Rogan talking about comments?

Yeah. What is, what is Roe? It's a good weapon. And if you choose targets, people have this ability to complain about things. It's very useful. It's a good weapon. And if you choose targets, you could take targets out. You can go after them.

And so it becomes a hobby. It becomes a hobby. Like if, you know, you see a window and you've got a rock. You feel like throwing that rock. And so a lot of times These targets aren't justified I'm gonna throw a rocket you It's good idea

I almost at a burner account It's talk shit on every like drum video you do Have you sick Oh my God please dude And I'll pin the comment At the top of all the post dude So it's all fucking shit talking posts Yeah that's tough

Dude The goat dude Chappelle Shepel It's also time do you mean I mean I'm shit I got a married to four guys and I have my lady

and family my mom and dad are getting older and um just even like like a time factor I can't even like allow it even if I had a side of me and I wanted to dive into it I'll pop in every once in a while for fuel just to just to remind myself every fucking day especially I guess it's just weird to say but I own a business

I own two businesses it's just really strange just say I own the band. And there's, like I tell you from experience, everybody is trying to take away what you built every fucking day. Yeah. People are trying to take this band away. People are trying to take this band away from me. You name it, managers, bands, anyone in the industry,

maybe people in the, some fan base doesn't like the band anymore. Of course, yeah, of course. Every fucking day, someone I try to take this thing away away from me. And they're going to have to kill me to stop suicide silence. It's not going to happen. I've already went through like the process. We were talking earlier. I almost have to stop the podcast.

That part of my brain is literally gone. The equidian part. I got closed quite a few times. But people are trying to take this away from it every single day. They'll have to pry it from your dead hands, dude. Even if you kill me, the band won't get bigger. But that's not going to happen, though. Even that won't work.

Exactly. I'm kidding. Please don't kill me. But do you know, but it's true, though. I mean, people just, they just want to take away what you build every day. It's like you're kind of forced. It's like this weird thing, which I've noticed people that I'll meet people in a person. Yeah.

And genuine fans of citizens and, uh, and, uh, and. in the podcast and that's and that's cool and but sometimes like they people expect you to be humble they all they expect you to be relatable but also not be not be it's like it's impossible because like so let's say like okay so you want to be relatable okay so can i put a comment back and say you're a bitch yeah you can't with you And okay, now, oh, well, now you're punching down, dude. Yeah. We, okay, suicide sounds has experience where we put out of a record and a member in a band

commented back and the fucking, wow. Yeah. A couple comments. Yeah. And I'm not over exaggerating. Thousands of comments will tell you you're fucking done. You're a piece of shit. Quit the band.

You sent a comment out in defense. and the back. So you're supposed to take hits, but you can't get hits back. But wait, I thought you wanted me to be relatable. Yeah, yeah. Or keeping the same energy. Yes, you know what I mean?

Oh, this is tough. Dude, it's tough. So all you can do is just be yourself. That's it. That's it. Man, I didn't expect to talk about this today. Jesus. Oh, my God.

Sometimes it happens, dude. Oh, my God. But you're also right. That's another one of those. Fuck. I don't want to say, like, unfortunate byproducts of doing what we do, but it kind of is. It's like, it's okay for someone else to do it that's not in our position, but the moment

we turn around and give an emotional human response, it's like, oh, now you're punching down. Why the fuck would you say that? It's like, you literally just fucking bad mouth all of my hard work and fucking drive and determination, but the moment I even give you a mild punchback, now I'm the fucking asshole. And I think a lot of people live to do that to other people. because they want you to fucking take the bait

and drink the fucking cool lady and then be like, ha, look at this fucking guy, you know what I mean? I'll be honest. I fucking punch sideaways. I punch up and I punch down. I punch everywhere, dude.

I will punch a baby. If a baby punched me, I'm going to go on a baby punching spree. And that's the clip on YouTube. God damn. All right, Chris. Clip that. We already.

Cip it. Jay clip it, dude. That's going to be the title of this episodes, dude. Punching babies, dude. That's going to be the clip on TikTok, dude. Baby punching spree. Oh, my God. That's definitely the fucking TikTok YouTube clip, for sure.

I did rip that off from a comedian. Who? Can you guess? There's only one comedian that said, I'm going to go on a baby punching street. It's got to be burr. No. No?

No. Damn, I thought for sure that that's a bill of burr thing, dude. Dang Cook. Oh, wow. I forgot what special was. Was your vicious circle? I mean, an older one for sure, right? Like, do what if...

Yeah, there you go. Because he's talking about a sound that he doesn't like. That is an old one. He's talking about a sound. This is it. I was a fan, Dancook, man. He was sick. I think he was funny.

So that's honest, and Dan Cook have a parallel life. I'll talk about after It's here It's here Let's go Is that a bull? Probably under five seconds Yeah

All right there That's got to be right there That was funny dude Yeah that is That is from an older special for sure But yeah What happened to him? He just kind of fucking

Is he still doing stand-up? He could do whatever The fuck he wants I just kind of stopped following him Like a while ago. You can do whatever he wants. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Staying cook. Staying cooked. You can do whatever you want, dude. You're Chris Garza. Oh, I appreciate that. Almost there. Almost there. Or maybe I'll never get there.

Maybe it's going to be a life of pressure and just keep things alive. I don't know. Nah. No. I'm pretty, yeah. We're fucking. We're good. I feel close.

We are. We are. We are very close to a lot of milestones. A lot of cool shit. Dude, I was telling Chris this. My phone has, my algorithm on Instagram has changed. With, it's so, it's so crazy. Like, if you switch your mindset, my algorithm on my Instagram changed.

I started getting fed quotes. Say what you want about Trump. He has pretty cool ones. I mean, I mean, you name it. Dude, everybody was like, fuck, Trump, Goggins. Like, anyone I had a really cool. quote. Yeah.

I was like, just like the mind, this, a simple switch, okay, I'm done the whole Quidian thing. I'm just done. And like,

everything is started like, it is, it is true. It's just your ability to handle pressure. It's all pressure. And it can, can you handle the pressure?

Yeah. And it's how you handle it that really makes the fucking difference. I just want to be 21 is fucking have emotional breakdowns and be a fucking idiot. But I can't. It's just too much fun

online, dude. Yeah. Too much. Too much sacrifice, too much. The family. Yeah. And you've already been through fucking too much and all that to go back and do it again. You know what I'm saying?

Like, like I said, it's all a fucking growing learning experience, man. And if you're not learning from it, God help you, dude. Fucking, you know what I mean? Because this shit don't get easier, dude. Not that life doesn't get easier. I mean, obviously, like I said, I was going to throw curballs at you. but if you didn't learn how to handle those curveballs along the fucking way, dude, it's going to be rough.

You know what I mean? So please recognize and listen to the signs and take everything as a learning experience and fucking be the best you can fucking be every day because, well, as corny as it sounds, dude, you only live on. You know, you get one shot at this shit, dude. Make it good. Don't fuck it up. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, just, yeah, there's just, yeah, there's. There's so many, it's not just your dream. It's like, it's, because no one could do, you can't do it alone. Like, there's so, man, there's so many people, my family that is invested in Suits. My mom and dad, everything that they've, all the time and sacrifice they've done to make the band work, family, friends. Yeah, and they've probably fucking seen the wildest of the wild shit. They've been through it all with you too.

They've seen the worst. It's funny. Like, yeah, it's not even you sometimes. Like, I'll see them reading comments. I'm like, oh, no. And you gotta, you gotta have to explain it on it. You don't, it's nothing. It's don't even, yeah, don't pay it any mind.

It's, it's, yeah, it's my, it's, like, it's my family. It's, like, lady and future kids I don't have. I want to, I'm 38. I want to have a child by 40. Yeah. I mean, dude, it's affecting my cat. Like, dude, do you like, the fucking, dude, I'll always, I'll say this a million times till we'll do a million podcasts i'll keep saying this shit but do we lost our money

we lost our fucking money when that record came out and uh for for whatever reason and literally like my my cat suffered like i was feeding my cat garbage and my cat almost died and then i uh just just uh took took the little credit i had and obviously he's still alive and i could been way worse. I'm like, damn, even like, it's just even affected my fucking pets. It's true, dude. And then you really have to like stop and think about it at a certain point.

It's, unless it truly is just you that you're worried about and you don't have people around you that are counting on you or that, you know, in some sort of way, whether it's, you know, they're counting on you monetarily or physically or mentally or all three.

You have to kind of realize that shit at a certain point too. It's like, you're not on your own anymore. There are people that count on you. There are people that, you know what I mean? And it's the same for all of us, you know, in a lot of ways. You know, it's, yeah, you're right. And it does affect those around you.

I mean, look at Leo now, though, dude. He's telling you making that podcast money. He's eating the creme de la creme fucking food, dude. Almost there. How old is Leo? Seven, eight years old? Looking better than he ever has, dude. Yeah.

I love Leo. He's cool. Leo's like a cat's cat. You know, if that makes sense, like he's like a real fucking cat. Like sometimes I'll walk in the house to go pee during rehearsal, whatever, and he'll be right there,

you know, and he'll do that thing where like he walks over to you. And like he'll kind of let you pet him for like two seconds. And then he's like, get the fuck off me. Like, all right, you know, that's enough. You know what I mean? I like cats like that. Where they're just like they're cool, but they're also like, all right.

You know, like you got snacks or something, bro? No, I get the fuck away from me. He killed a bird yesterday Oh, really? Yeah Got himself that all natural snack He was like, you know what? Dude, I'm craving fucking feathers today, dude

I'll do that like Just depending what day it is I'll like, I'll drink coffee Sometimes I'll drink coffee outside And just let him out I just like wash him be a cat Just trying to clear my head for like For like the day ahead

Yeah And I'll just watch him just be a cat And it's like walk around And hunt and stuff Like try to try to hunt I'm like oh he like he won't He won't catch a bird Then I go back outside

He has a bird in his fucking mouth I'm like oh shit I think I asked you Does he leave the crib Like will he go away from the house? He will yeah If he knows If he hops the fence

Which I gotta keep eye on him But I'll let him roam the backyard I have a pretty big backyard That's what I'm saying Like I've gone over like during the day Or whatever and he's just like walking along the bricks Like in the backyard I'm like okay he's chilling

You know what I'm going And I'll let him go in the backyard chill But hopefully he can't leave He can't leave the backyard He'll fucking Oh, huh? Yeah. Has he ever taken off?

I'm like, a few times. Like for days? No, no. Oh, okay. So, like, he comes back. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I find out the trick. Because sometimes he found out, because he was getting into, like, the neighbor's yard. I'm like, how is he getting into the neighbor's yard? And then finally I saw him, dude. Oh, he's hopped in the fence. Holy she.

He found, like, a little, like, hill. That's high enough that he can get up on. Oh, shit. So I'm okay. I'll still, but I figured out how to get him back. because put out food put out food in the back I'll sit there

just read a book like a fucking loser and eventually he'll just come back and let him be a cat I don't know how do we get how do we fucking

what a fucking roller coaster oh my god dude what the fuck's going on and now we're uh what's today Tuesday mm-hmm we got a long flight

god damn I do yeah I know dude I'm just like it's gonna suck I was so stoked about this fucking flight to and from Vegas because it's only

fucking, you know, 37 minutes or whatever. I'm like, hell yeah, dude, this is sick. That wasn't even a warm-up for what we're about to fucking do. 16 and a half first flight and four and a half hours a second flight. Well, it's what we asked for. We did. That's a very cool fucking lineup, though, dude. Hammer Sonic is about to be huge.

Yeah, that's great. I'm real stoked. Real, real stoked. I'll pop into the, uh, that, the born animal. of suicide science and number two is Jakarta. It's part of people that like listen to us and watch watch YouTube videos. I'm like it's it's Jakarta. Which is crazy.

Which is really crazy. Remember I was talking about it? You know how like management made the post for for New England and hardcore? Mm-hmm. You know, in September or whatever, the day after. And then I posted the Jakarta fucking flyer on our on the band page at, like fucking, like one in the morning. Dude, this shit got like 30,000 fuck.

I was just like, Jesus, fucking, like, is this many people really coming to like Jakarta? And then, yeah, I kind of did the nerd thing and went down the rabbit hole and kind of look like, dude, there's people still commenting now that are like, can't wait to see you in Jakarta, you know, like in whatever the, in Indonesian, like, writing and you have to like translate it. It's going to be a lot of fucking people.

Like, fair enough fuck up. It's happened. In what way? How are we talking? Am I going to play something a little too fast? Am I going to drop a stick? What do you think it's going to be, dude? Let's put it on drummer roulette right now, dude.

Chris, type in popcorn. Get the fuck out of here. Let's just look at it. This is... What the fuck's all this? Oh, Chris, it doesn't get the analogy. So when Ernie's playing drums and his... His kicks aren't solid, so it sounds like popcorn.

Because he's not playing on beat. Which hasn't happened in years, but he loves to fucking grill me about it. It happened at last shows. What are you talking about? Is that popcorn? Is that an actual drummer back there? I got the receipts, dude. Wait, which one is this?

Is this no pity? Yeah, see, this is a going on right here, dude. You can fucking hear how sick the fucking kicks are here, dude. Not a single fucking popcorn, dude. Also, with just one foot, too, dude. Suck it. Okay, when drummers do the one-foot thing, it's so stupid. dude.

Is it though? It's not... So that's when my legs are buffed, dude. You're just trying to look cool doing that. I'm just trying to build that calf muscle, dude. I'm doing this one foot, dude. Yeah, I'm fucking cool. It's why Garza tries to downpick everything.

He's hoping James Headfield will notice him one fucking day, dude, but it's just never going to happen, dude. He'll, he'll see. It's like, yeah, finally someone is going to rival me. Look at those calves, dude. How do you get calves? As guys, dude, it's tough to build up your... your cabs.

I know I've made this fucking joke forever in a day. And I actually took the joke from someone else years ago, but they were like, oh, dude, having trouble getting fucking cab muscles, just get fat, dude, carrying around your fucking body weight

will give you calf muscles. But no. I mean, I've played drums my whole fucking life. I did marching band. I used to, and I did fucking parade band, all that shit.

Like, you know, on top of, having been heavy set a good majority in my fucking life. And as funny as it sounds, it's like, yeah, it gave me fucking big calves. Like, you know what I mean? And honestly, I just kind of a, I also, I mean, I like walking around. Like when we're, you know, when we're on tour or whatever, like, oh, let's go walk this coffee shop or walk somewhere and go see something cool, whatever. Like, you know, I think, I think it's a bit of everything, you know, because I, like, really, like, I'm not like the most well-versed dude at the fucking gym.

I'm like, there's a lot of shit I don't do at the gym. You know what I mean? Like, I've gotten on a leg press before just for my own personal, like, let me see how much I could put up on the fucking leg press. Oh, my goodness. Like, yeah, admittedly, I did it because I wanted to see. I'd always seen these dudes, like, smaller than you've put up, like, you know, fucking three plates on each side on the leg press. And I'm like, if they can do that shit, I could definitely fucking do that. You know what I mean?

I do that shit. And honestly, yeah. Like, I can. But it's not something I go and fucking do all the time. I just, you know, got fortunate enough to get what they call, you know, drummer legs or whatever. And I play a lot of double kick. And my spring tension is very, very, very high and tight. And my beaters are pretty far back.

So it requires a lot of fucking calf muscle and, like, weight to press my pedals down. Because there are people that sit on my kit and play my pedals that are like, holy shit. I mean, look. Wow. Okay. So if you're a guy, so let's say I want to build calf muscles. the only guy I do is play drums really sloppy You just get sick as fuck at drums, dude

Like how you do, right? So if I play drums like shit I could get really strong calves That's it, dude Is that the, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay I mean look, dude, the proof's in the pudding, bro

The fucking, you know I know they say the camera adds 10 pounds, dude But I mean, you can't fake those fucking calves Look at them shits, dude Yeah, calves is so hard to build, dude I do I do legs twice a week It fucking sucks ass

Yeah You have to It's like fuck And then you just stay the same too I have two fucking toothpicks for My legs That sucks dude It fucking sucks

No actually shout out You know who has the fucking craziest calves dude Frankie Paul Mary From Amir And a boy Has the most insane calves I've ever seen And then right behind him Pablo

Also awesome A badass He's a goat, dude. But Pablo also played soccer. So he's got, like, soccer player, like, body type of thing. His calves are fucking huge, dude. Had a boy. Yeah, Paul.

So good. You could probably go to, like, Frankie. Like, Frankie's, like, Instagram, and, like, he's got, like, full body pictures of him, like, on stage and shit. His legs are fucking huge, dude. Well, shit. Ernie, any closing thoughts, man? I mean, dude, just looking forward to Indonesia this weekend. Hopefully it's like fucking, you know, 800,000 people are there or something like that.

I hope it's just a fucking sea of people when we show it up. Are you to warm up? Oh, yeah, of course. You need to. Of course, dude. Okay. I mean, you know, I'll warm up for like four or five minutes, you know. Because if you look bad, I look bad.

I don't like that. I mean, usually, guys, what winds up happening is that I have to carry the weight of Garza's fucking right hand not being up to par. so I have to cover it up with my sick-ass fucking kick drums, dude, so. No, see, the problem is my right hand is so on point. Your feet have trouble keeping up with my right hand. Yeah, is that it's true. Is that it? That's it.

I knew it. I knew it. No, yeah, yeah. And Denise's going to be sick. And then looking forward to like, you know, getting back home and, you know, going back to work and then getting, you know, going back to work and then getting, Getting to work on this fucking record, dude. Mm-hmm. That's time, dude.

I feel bad. I know, like, I know the band's waiting for me. I feel, I feel bad, but I'm almost there. Yeah. I literally, I just now feel like I'm grasping the workload of this thing. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like I have a good emotional, mental, physical grasp, but what's actually happening and having time together.

And all of us, all of us know it, too. And we back you and support everything that's happening and going on, dude. You know what I mean? I think if there was, I think there might have been some shakiness a few months ago where we just kind of weren't sure like, okay, like, and now that like everything is falling into fucking place and our team is fucking crushing it,

I think everyone is fully confident, myself included. You know what I mean? Like, you know, again, despite the things that have gone down in the last fucking few months from me, I'm like mentally in a fucking way stronger fucking place. than I was two, three months ago, like, I'm hungry. I'm hungry and I'm fucking stoked. I'm just like, yeah, I'm backfiring on all of my fucking cylinders, which is sick.

You know what? You can't buy it? You can't buy hunger. Nope. Can't. Nope. Name one death core ban that will throw away all their money. And still be here.

Still be here. Like, they're barely doing it with money. exactly we are fucking hungry and I it's yeah it's just it's cool that's kind of one thing I like I really miss I'll do a quick close off this is actually what I wanted to bring up earlier but I fucked up because yeah because you're shot anyway that's true uh that then that does piss me off like with a workload because I want to sit down and just just just play guitar I just play guitar man it's all I want to do but I haven't been able to do that yet because there's the business side of sullisans I've been trying to get solid and there's this and so I think I think by this time next month I'll be in a different spot and I'll be I think we'll be fucking flying dude

Yeah I mean and just fucking riffing between us Like as far as like you know business shit goes or whatever We only we only have that one final puzzle piece to get locked in in terms of a You know You're welcome Yeah and we're fucking good to go Just tell him I'm the fucking sickest boss ever dude come on Just tell them I mean yeah I'm kidding

I'm kidding oh look right let's see look Look at Frankie's fucking legs, dude. That's a good closer. Buff, dude. Yacked. Right, Ernie, well, I'm not looking forward to being an airplane with you all weekend.

That's such a crazy turn and burn for us, dude. 20 hours there to play a 50-minute set and then 20 hours back. It's going to be fucking crazy. That's cool. All right, everyone, this should be the last episode of me, Ernie, for a bit. Next month, it's looking pretty busy with bands coming in town. And, yeah, that's it. Thank you for listening and watching.

Thank you, Ernie. for a time and helping me during my blow time. I appreciate you, man. Happy to be here. Oh, yeah. All right, one. Stay. Later.

That's it later.