Garza Podcast - 224 - New Six Feet Under, Wes Borland & Sobriety

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

Garza shares his gym routine, tips for anxiety & much more!Support FILTH Here: https://gofundme.com/f/support-filths-tour-after-crash-totaled-vanCheck Out the Merch: https://garzapodcast.myshopify.com00:00 - Becoming Sober13:56 - Greatest Nu Metal Guitar Player18:01 - Riff: My Way20:23 - Riff: Nookie25:04 - Gym Routine37:40 - Maintaining Relationships & Touring43:54 - Dealing with Loss & Death50:21 - Dealing with Anxiety1:01:37 - New Six Feet Under1:05:27 - Filth’s Van Accident1:08:28 - 3 Albums to Check Out1:10:19 - Upcoming Shows

We just dropped some new merch. We got a chug shirt, a pizza shirt, even a hot heat shirt, like the one currently on my body. Head over to Garza Podcast.myshopify.com. That's Garza podcast.com. Or click the link below. Love you guys. Rolling chugging. Good morning.

Good afternoon. Or good evening whenever you choose to. We'll watch or listen to this. We'll be talking, uh, I don't they ever talked about this before. favorite new metal guitar player someone asked the question so uh i'll be going to that later some anxiety stuff um i'm not sure i try to give a a heads up if it's going to get dark but i it might be in between so let's just uh so it heads up if it goes deep into uh into darkness and death but uh but that's what we got coming up um let's see this is monday

for you. It's Monday for you. Um, I am, I am nine days sober. Uh, yeah, I stopped drinking. I want to go at least three months. I always told myself, um, if I start writing music, um, I'm going to do it, um, but zero alcohol in my system. So it was John Gallagher from dying fetus. That podcast is actually what planted the seed. And I mean, what's been two, three years since that fucking thing? I mean, 80s. What's a date on that thing?

What's, when you go to more? July 10th. So almost three years ago. Ever since then. It was one. of my favorite moments of that particular episode. So it's kind of been on my mind. It's just like, you know when someone says something to you?

It is kind of like, it just kind of stays there. It's like just swimming around in your brain. So ever since he talked about that, it's just kind of been, oh, okay, if I start, if I ever start really writing, I want to do it. Um, not drinking. Also like this, the current state of music, um, me going to shows. I'm going to backyard shows, high school, high school shows. And, uh, I'm really surprised. Um, I guess my, I guess sometimes you just make, uh, assumptions. I'm like, all what? These kids are like, you know, 16, 17 and They're probably on their phones all the time and they're probably drinking and no, it's not exactly in the culture right now drinking or.

So I was kind of wanting to get in that realm because I just started drinking until I was 21. Like the first time I drank and then I got buzzed and drunk was Alex Lopez's previous drummer's birthday. because his birthday is just November, I think it's 23rd, and mine's December 3rd. So it's like two weeks apart. So yeah, he turned 21 two weeks prior to me, so I drank on his birthday. And then mine, that's when it really started. Smunk weed for the first time and that was a whole, that would begin the boxery, which, man, 21, 19 years ago.

40 now. So 19 years ago, that's... So full circle, writing music again without, yeah, cleansing, nothing. Those demos, all the early days was nothing, dude. I don't even know what I did. You ever, like, it's like, what did I do before that? You know, like, when you started doing something, it's like man what did I do prior um it's weird yeah I didn't start drinking coffee until

I was late 26 um I was like man what did I do before that so weird so yeah um nine days feeling pretty good also uh I always I always touch on it but yeah this is my I'm fine personal life is good it's just think I guess you could say like close family stuff I just need to be really clearheaded. I need to be 100%. Um, so it's kind of everything going to happen at once, like legit like the past month, everything happened at once, which as you know, as humans, you know, when life starts life and it's going to life you in the fucking face. Um, so shit's good. I just want to be clearheaded. Um, I'm not exactly counting days. I'm only counting days because I want to know how where I'm at, but I'm not like itching for it.

Um, the only itch I got was, uh, I went to a show, I went to a death metal show. And I got a little itch, like a little, I'll be kind of cool to like, in that point, it's only been two days. I was like, uh, a little, and then so I went, okay. So I went to the bar and, uh, during incantation, I went to the bar and, uh, during incantation, And I went out, I went to the bar and I was like, hey, you have any? I don't think I ever asked this question to the bartender there.

And I've been there many times. Hey, you have any non-acoholic drinks? And luckily, you had great options. It's exactly, because I actually been drinking non-accoholic beers for a little bit because my lady doesn't drink. She only drinks because my psychotic ass. So she'll be like, hey, let's get some non-acopholics. So it's the athletic brand. So yeah, I got a hazy and I'm not sure what the other option was.

But it was a tall can of the, yeah, it's an orange one. It was like hazy day or a hazy, haze wave. Yeah, that's the one I had. And you know what, dude? this might be a new sponsor we gotta get a hold of athletic yeah it was a free wave free wave hazy IPA i had a tall kind of that and i could walk back over to incantation and i was like oh shit okay tastes good it tastes good i was enjoying it then i hung out with a few people said bye and then i was like oh shit i honestly don't remember the last time i went to

a show and not drank have you ever done that like I mean last time I did didn't do this so it's cool um so I'm gonna try to not be that guy throughout this whole adventure and talk about sobriety and all that shit but uh yeah just a lot going on just want to be clearheaded I feel great it was it was new waking up the next day early in the morning and being 100% that was different not even waking up with a hangover

like you just wake up a little bit more drowsy, a little bit more tired it was nice though like oh shit and I have noticed this week we've gotten a lot done I was hanging out with John from incantation into the night just I don't know how you would say it

just, you know, I'm sober. It was cool. So that's my current adventure. And I'll try not to bore you guys with it throughout the whole process. But I do want to kind of want to bring everyone along for the ride. And I might be announcing some stuff throughout the next month. I'll know exactly where I'm at. And I'll talk about it here.

But, yeah, and also, So Sunday I made the decision Saturday and then I already have plans to hang out with my Fender family I let the call them

I was like It's gonna be my last hurrah I had three small medellos and a corona And I was like I was thinking about that last corona I was like This is gonna be the last time

I It's about alcohol for a long period of time It was cool. I didn't feel anything. And then the next day, I realized, so this is Sunday on the 8th, day one. I have a line 6. Anyone, any guitar player that has a line 6 in their room, you know what I'm talking about. When you have a line 6 spider, no one could fuck with you. So I have it in my room right by my bed.

And I realized, like, So I started playing. I brought one of the sevens. I brought the number one, the beat up black guy. My beat up seven. And I started playing Sunday morning. I was like, I haven't played guitar in my room for well over a year. This ever happened to you?

Like, like, where the fucking year go? What the hell? What was I doing? I used to do this all the time. Just wake up, just play guitar in my room, write some shitty riffs. Let's let it. kind of flow out. I was like, I haven't done this over a year. And it hit me

in that moment. And it was like, wow, what happened? What the fuck have I been doing? Just living. So, yeah, that's been my week. That's my update. We could probably go to Jay.

How's Jay doing? Is he alive? Chilling. You chilling? Right here. Just manning the boards like we do. Mm-hmm. Everything good? Just hitting the gym. Gymmed up, dude.

Hitting the cardio, you know, important. Hell yeah, man. Before we get into questions, I started shipping out the vinyl. I said that last time. Over half the orders I shipped out, had a few more orders made. I'm getting slow DMs. He had some extra stuff and sold a few more.

So that goes out. Probably already went out if you bought something from me. Um, I want to say I have six more, I think. Yeah, of the PVC and a couple of like the spacey stuff. Those designs are insane. Because yeah, I've been getting tag in photos and it's been really cool. People seem to be really stoked on them. So that's what got that going on.

Um, what else? Oh, oh yeah, just to close off this subject. Um, the first thing. people asked me also was, are you going to smoke? And let that sit in for a day and I decided to not smoke. My smoking will be a fat cigar. That's going to be my vice or pleasure. I get why people start smoking cigars. It's like, okay, I get it. You stop drinking and now you got to. I do something else. So yeah, here I am.

Just understanding why people do things. But yeah, cool. I made a list of, yeah, and I just been reconnecting with the guitar. I've been talking about it on here for a long time. It's finally, I'm finally playing guitar every day. And I made a list, which maybe, might be kind of cool thing for you to try. made a list of bands I used to listen to

as a kid just like reconnect with those old you know if you have any local bands you used to love and you haven't jammed in a long time I just made a list

it's like a full page it's like a Google doctor just like bands and albums to kind of rejam so I've been kind of rejamming some stuff re-connecting it's still too soon

this is pretty fresh I'm sure as these solos go on, I'll be recommending some of my deep cuts. So, yeah, I think we're ready to hit the Q&A. We've got five questions. Again, there's a little warning. I pick some personal ones. So we'll see where it goes.

All right, first one. Oh, Jay, I might need your help with this one. Mr. XX7 unfiltered. Thank you. Garza, who's the, I'm surprised I haven't ever talked about this before. Garza, who's the greatest new metal guitarist in your opinion and why?

So yeah, I thought about this. You know what? It was a no-brainer. It's a no-brainer. If you've been, if you've been a part of his journey and listening, watching for a while, you already know.

I love corn, new metal and monkey. and all that stuff, but he's actually not, he's my personal favorite. But as far as like, the well-rounded and just like the insanity and the creativity and the prolific,

the look, the sounds like, you got to go West Borland. Literally West Borland, I think, is the greatest guitar, numeral guitar player of all time. Because also it's one guy to do all that,

To do all that. And it's one guy. I can't do that. I need Mark. I need the other guitar player to bounce things off of if my shit sucks or his shit sucks. Like we could kind of like kind of gauge something. Then come into some kind of agreement. But one guy, you're writing all that stuff, dude?

All those melodies and stereo verses and the riffs and pushing a genre forward. like that's there's nothing like it um and I'm pretty blown away that is one person uh we we talked about Mike from Stain

already it was kind of close because he's also very creative but Wes also what he did his he maintained like Lindbiscuit never lost their like heavy sound like they went to the second record was still insane

and then the third was still all right these are like high gain amps and top string riffs and exactly what you will want from Lempisco to me he is the greatest new metal guitar player

of all time and just a look dude just I went man there's some shows I wish I've seen as a kid I saw corn in their prime when I was 13 but man I wish I saw Lombiscuit during their prime but uh you know it had

it happens it could be worse but I was jamming this riff earlier talking about Melody I have I had three riffs

to show you guys and I might have ruined the podcast already because I think I lost my uh as every guitar player says where's my pick All right I got some more here Should we do night verses

Night verses or uh This is mine Cool Is this mine? Yeah it's mine Cool So this is something that I jam in my spare time.

And it's just a beautiful, it's a beautiful riff. Did I do the tune in already? All right, so I'm tuned up, thanks to the quad cortex pitch down. Already done. And for this one, I haven't played the electrohomonic's pog in a while. So I brought it out. So that's what I have here in case you're curious. J might do a little video.

I love the pod, but I've been using the pitchfork lately. It's a beautiful sound. That's a, if you're curious, that's a reverb shimmer. I like shimmer. Oh, this is a finger riff, which is I'm terrible at, but it's beautiful. Excuse me, I haven't warmed up yet. See, I haven't warmed up yet. That's such, it's a beautiful riff. I didn't even turn the pod on, like, so it's just something like this, I think.

How do you think this sounds? Yeah, dude. The pot kind of adds like a little bit of a just low sub that I enjoy. It's like, how do you write a riff like that, dude? You don't have an other guitar player to bounce off of. And I could be wrong, but I tried to steal some clean wrist from him. Like if you check out suicide, silent, skin tight, was actually a rip-off of West Borland. But after the record was track, I was like, fuck. I should have done it stereo.

So I think he does stereo clean. And I didn't do stereo. I just did one. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's, I've heard one person do the limbiccan comparison, but it's, it's, it's, it's for us. In the hindsight, I was listening to Lombiscuit and I was like, it's more like, so always, I think you do is two tracks and I only one on this song, so I'm a fucking idiot.

But, you know, you always, always live and learn. And this, I got either one more for you or two more. But this is, I mean, one of the most creative, creative riffs ever. I want to say that's F. Got it? Sounds fucking low. I you probably know what I'm about to play that's this that is this creative and that song if you're familiar with the song it's uh it was pretty much everywhere so I

wish I could write that freaking riff dude pretty badass so most creative most I mean the tuning everything just one it's one guy and uh I can't do that with two people. So, uh, yes, shout out to you at West Portland for being, uh, my personal favorite, uh, new metal guitar player of all the time. I took a lot of inspiration from them. Uh, as we just, I gave a example of things all this freaking is, you know, it's, it's just like, uh, that's, that's how, uh, inspiration works, you know, you, you're inspired. It makes you pick up the instrument, but you put your, uh,

You put yourself into it. That was like my core progression was more like, this is what I'm feeling as opposed to, I'm just going to steal it. It's like, okay, this is like the attitude, the effects. And then this is the core progression that I'm currently feeling. And I'm here one person to make that comparison. But yeah, hopefully you enjoyed those new metal riffs.

Nookies are very fun song to play. If you want a song to play, play. Can I think it's standard F? Standard or drop F. But that's pretty sick.

Let's confirm real quick. F sharp. This is what the AI overview tells us. Limp biscuit snunky. Four stream baritone guitar tune to F sharp. F sharp, F sharp B.E?

Fucking interesting. Are they really? Is it really two F sharps? I want to. I should. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. I should try that because whenever I do it, I just drop the low string.

If on a 7, I drop it to like F, F or F sharp. And then I kind of adjust like the higher strings. I was like, oh, shit. I guess I would explain it. And then what I did here was I just dropped it on the quad. so I have one oh F to F F F sharp

interesting well again I mean if that's true then it's even more of a crazy reason you know what's crazy about new metal songs there's not a lot of covers out there it happens to me all the time

I'm like I want to play this song and there's never really any good like covers you got to figure it out you know how I'm like how do you play stane raw I can't find shit shit like seven dust songs or etc but uh it could be cool tuning that i could fuck with shit cool well let's uh let's move on here comes to personal stuff i try to uh i'm gonna build up

let's see mr whale uh zero 24 would you ever give or talk about your gym routine been low-key kind curious. Yeah, I think me and Jacob both talk about what we've been doing. So, uh, it's kind of funny. Like, I'm in like a middle of like a full circle thing where I've been reading, reading, doing a lot of shit I've done years ago. Um, right now, I'm wrapping up a book by Tim Ferriss called, uh, four hour work week. I got really into Tim Ferriss. um late 20s and i remember hearing i'm talk about the uh 80 20 rule um so i'm literally about to wrap this book up like as you listen or watching this uh it's it's i'm already finished them or on my new journey but yeah he talks about like putting like the minimal minimal effective dose

it's really easy especially like social media on youtube like you see all this crazy you fucking people and like you could get wrapped up like being too extreme you know and i'm like i find that the more simple you make it um you actually tend to be more consistent with it i mean just just a truth like dude we're not we're not the rock we're not the rock i know like everyone share this is all like the motivation i get it well you know we're not i'm not jo rogan i'm just not gonna these guys are crazy these are fucking lunatics so when i hear your rogan talk about going into the sauna for 30 minutes after two-hour workout i'm like dude i'm not doing that i guess this and then you can actually get it's inspiring but it's also discouraging at the same time where uh this

you know what's gonna give me the what's the minimal effective dose where i get the max benefit so for example, I've been going in the sauna for like five, six minutes. It's get a little bit of sweat in there. Sweating is for like detoxing. The gym routine is very, it's, okay, what's, I want to be mobile. I want to, I want to live for a long time. Also given my, my job, headbanging, what's going to serve? The head banging.

What's gonna... So me, you know, what will help me is knowing what I want. Like, what are we even want? I want to headbang. I want to live a long time. The transparent. And I do want...

I want slim. Want to look good. Why? Because I also want to fuck. So, I want to maintain the fuckable body. So, being transparent. So, okay.

So I, this... It's a very simple routine. I've gone, which I think only you really know. You got to experiment. I've gone to gym six days a week. I've gone two, gone three, five, and I found that what works best for me personally is four days. Four days, again, not doing the rock approach.

Just, okay, what's going to serve my body? body, my personal body. Strength. Strength. So you get, so you kind of check your ego, you know, benching, like the, like the man shit, the benching. So, so you get that ego pump. So that serves that.

Strength. So like the bench, the pull-ups. The barbell raise. So shoulders, shoulders, chest, back. So all the main components are done. Again, this is, you use me as. the example or a learning experience where sometimes things

work for other people but won't work for you so squats and deadlifts I understand the importance of them I forced myself to do them for years and my back cannot handle it it affected my live shows with suicide silence. It's just something

about my body. It just won't do dead lifts and squats and I'm pretty sure it's Because of an injury I made ego lifting when I was first year in the gym. I remember like I was ego lifting with some older guy. First year in the gym, like not knowing shit. And he was throwing all these weights on the fucking squat rack.

I was trying to keep up. Fucking squat it down, dude. And had a little pop lower back. And I've been fucked ever since. And unfortunately, we all, I'm a perfect example. You hear it all the time. Don't ego lift. don't and we never fucking listen and so i think everyone i know it goes to gym has some kind of

injury from uh from eagolipting so yeah that kind of but there's other things you you can do so me if you have a bad lower back what's helped me is uh is the hip thrust so you kind of mimic a uh a squat uh so basically you got to work out your your ass because your ass actually people people call them glutes but less this species series. It's your ass. Yeah, it's a hip thrust. So you get, you can really focus on isolate the muscles in your ass. And if you do that, your ass is, I mean, it's common sense. Your ass is connected to your back. So me again, it's all about being mobile. My lower back is my weakest link. And I want to headbang for a long time.

And sometimes I'll be head banging. And I'll be like standing. wrong and like the lower back injury like kind of like creep up in them oh shit there it is um so having so with the head banging um you got to have a strong ass i mean that's just i mean it's just things that you got to do this is boring stuff but uh it's a hip thrusts uh six reps of uh high weight um so you get the strength then i like i like doing strength plus how would you say what the term is hypertrophy so I'll do six for the strength

and they'll lower the weight a lot and it's burn it like okay how can I do 15 reps so do like the heavy weight same with the same with the back same with the chest the shoulders like six reps of like high weight I'm sorry doing that too

high weight you know looking good you know, feeling good, like that you're getting stronger, but you know, get that out of the way and then two more sets of the 12 to 15 reps of a higher weight, good form and feel the burn. And that's everywhere. So as far as strength, I do that. And then there's other days where it's, uh, it's more like reps, uh, like the biceps, triceps, 12 to 15. um did i did this today uh leg leg extensions leg curls both it's all it's all high rep stuff 12 to 15 good form but still pushing yourself but but not cross the line of uh injury it's all this is okay so you're challenging yourself you're kind of sweating but you're not really like it's not it's not ego stuff so today for example um the first thing i'd like to do is warm up and do like the strength.

So today was back. So I did like the pull-ups. Okay, strength's done. Now it's a high-perchemy stuff. So that was lake extensions and the lake curls. And this high-re-up stuff. I like doing full body too. Like just don't. And also having energy that's the day.

That's also one of my priorities. You want to have energy. You want to be focused. Want my brain to be working. And so I like to do in three. exercises so today was back you know weight curls like extension and then closing off with either abs or uh what's it called back extension i think it's more like you like lay on this thing and then you're hanging and then you uh what's it then you yeah that that thing so back extension

yeah so it's what it is and that's again for at the lower back make sure the back's good um decompress any damage that I might have done over my drunken years had banging in my early 20s. So that's been very helpful for me. And I'll do this after a workout. It's either this or it's abs. Because abs are also important. As they say, it's your core. So the core is very important.

Just make sure all the core muscles are hit. Don't overdo it. Don't be an adjustment. for two fucking hours like what can I do that's gonna give me that medium effective dose I get the maximum benefit and that's I'm in the gym for like an hour with the with the warm up which is like a jog five minutes and then the weights three three to four exercise and then sauna five six minutes gym for an hour everything's handled everything and that's also uh this varies from person to person, I personally like working out slow.

I've done the fucking crazy fat-burning shit for years. Like the supersets, the triple sets. It's just not for me. I like this benching, sitting back, thinking about what you're going to do that day, doing legs, stopping, thinking about what we're going to do as opposed to like, all right, I'm going to do this, and then this, then right back to this. right back to this. I tried it. It doesn't work for me. It works for you. That's cool. Um, but I like, I like some time to think in between the, uh, resting periods of, of, uh, lifting. So yeah,

I hope that helped you. Um, four days a week, an hour. Uh, that does it for me. And, uh, for me, like, if I don't hit the gym, dude, it's scary. Like, my fucking brain is a shot. And, um, things just don't line up. I just don't like. So Jim personally helps me Um helps It helps blow off some stain

Like all that that unnecessary bullshit you have in your body It just kind of gets it out, you know You're not judgmental You're not If someone cuts you off You don't care. You know, it's just like, I just let them fucking, He cares

A fucking piece of shit But uh Yeah Jim has been really big for me And I'm going to try not to talk about it throughout this whole sobriety thing. But we'll see. And also, the gym, me and Jay were talking earlier, the gym makes, it just makes me horny, dude. And that's like, that's super important.

I'm four years old. And the fact that I still get horny as fuck, man. I just like the blood flowing, dude. The brain's working. My freaking, chuggy dude. is this, this wants to chug. Cool.

I think we're ready for the next one before I go on a full on rant of working out. Thank you for your question. Actually, I might need your help with this name. Matt Chew. Oh, chew. Chew it up, dude.

Um, let's see. How was it how was it maintaining relationship? on the road during the early days with the band what relationships ah shit sucks oh it's terrible um it's tough it was really tough because you leave and you come back to a different place like like you're gone for a month and then it's just a restaurant you would go to

is gone or a place you would eat out it's gone it's closed down especially in California whereas things are constantly being closed down you know

everybody has lives your friends have lives your family everyone kind of moves on and then so maintaining relationships was I mean, it was a failure.

And I wish, you know, in hindsight, I wish I maintained a lot better. But I'm lucky. I am lucky. Like, all my friends have been, all my good friends have been understanding. And I'm still in close with now. We'll have a coffee every once in a while or dinner or lunch. And they've all been super cool.

I've been very lucky in that aspect. Yeah, then when you're, you know, when you're younger, you're like, you just want to go out and drink and shit, you know, so that kind of, that will affect your, uh, deep, your death with relationships. I remember, like, coming back home and like the, like the lifestyle would kind of spill over, spill over into, uh, home life, which never was good. and then early 20s I got a girlfriend and I was a horrible boyfriend I just want to go out and drink

every Tuesday every Tuesday at Buffalo Wild Wings and BJ's BJ's had this BJ's brewhouse it would have this like $2

beer night on Tuesday and like it was like a Friday night. there and like a high school reunion everybody went that she was fucking packed um so that was my early 20s we would go there and then we'll close off at BDUX which was a walking distance

and then at some point I think I think someone I think someone crashed their fucking car um because their beers are like they're not just like light beers. They're like, they fucking hit you. And I think there was an issue where someone crashed

into a tree. And BJ stopped doing the Atulah beer night. So then we started going straight to Bdubs and we would drink a bottle of Yeager before even going in. So, uh, so that definitely affected my relationships. Um, I am very lucky, very lucky that, uh, all my friends and family have been very understanding. And now I kind of got a second chance to have friends and stuff. Pretty cool. But yeah, what? Everybody moves on.

Everyone has their own lives. And you have your own life too, which is, I don't even know how to. I still don't know how to do it. Go on tour. It's really hard to stay focused. It's just a different world out there. And it's hard to like, really

you're on you're on a different pace even like after like the debaustery torn days like you're trying to find like a routine all you're trying to do that whole day trying to find your routine

to keep you on a on track to be a decent person and not go back to like yeah but remember like we would park and then I always order a down with pizza like just that's that's lunch then you eat a pizza

you feel like shit the whole day and then you start drinking and you play a show and you start drinking more you wake up a hungover you park you get other pizza it's like this

it's just hard to keep it clear ahead so the days now really consist of just keep being on the straight and narrow and then it's kind of like you're just trying to go to bed like I I've kind of bet so many times

I just try and not to party I'm going to bet early so say I was out of the party but yeah I may not be the person to ask about this I've been I've been very lucky and one's been very understanding especially now like with my lady

my girlfriend over six years Torn is very different like it's not even like the same thing and it keeps getting more and more trying to be more more and more focused out there

but I really appreciate your question Matt and what's next what do we got uh oh I think this is what I was talking about I saw this one and I was like

I don't want to answer this but I think because I didn't want to answer it it's what made me put it in there because you never know where it's going to go all right gee I might need your help with the last name this is Lord Agast Dude you're good with knowing the name

I'm terrible with this Okay The Lord It also kind of ties into what I'm going through personally too So maybe that's why some consciously picked this Lost my mom to cancer recently What advice Do you have dealing with loss

After these years Later All these years later after we lost Mitch. Yeah, it's tough, man. Yeah, I think one of the biggest fears in my personal life is

losing my parents. Luckily, they're both still alive. They're much older. It's really strange. It's really strange. Becoming older and seeing people, you know, your whole life, get older, like really older.

You're like, oh shit, you're like, wow, not in my teens anymore. You're like really older. I don't really have advice. It's, again, I only share experience, but what didn't work for me was running away from it. I definitely, I touched on it on the mid-GEP,

but what doesn't work is running away because it's impossible to run. away from it. And I think at the time, I don't know if I used suicide silence as like a, I don't know, if I used suicide silence as like a, oh, like an escape because we were going pretty quick. Um, after a match. And I wonder if I would have done anything differently. Um, I don't know.

Hindsight is 20 and 20, but, uh, yeah, uh, and with loss, it doesn't. it doesn't get easier. You just, it's just kind of evolves and has, uh, different meanings, um,

advice. I'm still dealing with the whole Mitch thing. So it's just, it just sucks, man. It, it's, it's a part of life that, it's a part of life that is just what it is.

There's nothing you can do to change it. You know, people that you love, just could be from a tragedy, could be from sickness, and they just pass away. And that's what everybody has in common. And yeah, my parents getting older, it's weird. It's like this part of me, it's a part of me, it's wants to run all the time. But you can't outrun it.

And would help with Mitch was, I just, kind of facing it, talking about it. It's really helpful. So if you have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff, help me. I do talk about much pretty often at shows. People have questions. It was only one time where I got bothered by a drunk person. So a pretty good track record.

I got pushed by a drunk person. You wanted to talk about all this shit. I'm like, you're not present. Um, but it's been pretty, I mean, I try to, uh, have a connection with people that I talk to, but talking about it helps. Um, I think it's a good way to put it. Um, because I am a good example. Um, maybe the loss of Mitch does influence my drinking and I don't want to admit it. Um, so again, that goes into the escape factor. Um, um, processing it and then and then when you process it it's just this doesn't go away like what have been 12 years it'll be a certain moment i remember like oh yeah had a really um you had really a really uh real like conversation with uh family and then like sometimes someone will say his name

and just like um it just hits like the heart just like drops you're like oh wow dot like Years later. No shit like normally, normally I would probably suppress it. But, uh, so that doesn't work. But yeah, just feeling, feeling the feelings that, I'm not sure that that, that's advice, but, uh, that's what I personally do. And it seems to be the best way. Be sad.

Be sad. Um, process it. Um, because I've done the opposite. And I found for me, if it helps you, it doesn't work when you run, run from it. And then live your life without opening a kind of warmth. Hopefully that helps. I'm in like real time processing stuff. I was trying to have a clear, give you like a stream of consciousness.

Well, cool. Lord, I appreciate your question. and I appreciate the death of it. And here's a good way to close it off. Let's just keep talking about difficult stuff. Well, I chose these questions, so I'm a fucking idiot. All right, cool.

4-1-4 Reaper. Do you have any tips for anxiety? Yes. I was talking about this yesterday. What's helped me was desensitizing. I mean, if you talk to my band about how I was,

it's a different person. And I don't think some of them will admit it, but I don't even think they've actually accepted who I am right now. I'm a different person. It was a conscious choice just to go out all the time. And it sucked for a long time.

because anxiety is like it's just it's just another feeling I understand not only people can go out a lot but I think with it did tie in with the question earlier you know how to do a loss

like well I had to deal with it and so I found myself in a position where I had to go out all the time and put on the face for their suicide silence And I found out just going out all the time talking to people One thing that helps out with anxiety is I mean I

I podcast people out in the real world I just ask them questions And then that kind of helps with your anxiety And I found that that helps The other people get comfortable So that's kind of cool Like I was talking about the other person I don't know. Where they from? What's their name? Kind of sets the tone. It's asking questions.

Like, deflect and knock yourself. That's helped me. Yeah, anytime I could go out, I just kept going out. Any show that I can go to is talk to random people. and then it seemed and I'll close it off with this it seems all pointless um same in the gym

the processing of loss you even related to practicing your instrument it all seems point I'm not getting better if things feel worse when you dive into it which is kind of interesting everything feels worse and seems worse And I was like, why, why am I going all the time?

It's fucking, I'm not getting better at this. And then I don't know, like, there's not like, like a particular day or a moment, but I don't know where things kind of just click. And now I am who I am now, which is unrecognizable to even like a few years ago. And a few years before that is I am unrecognizable to myself. I don't know where it's clicks I'm not like going out and like just like just this fucking feeling in your fucking heart

overwhelming feeling and then like a lot of cliches are true like we talk about cliches a lot here but uh you know everyone's in their own world man everyone is dealing with their own anxiety and their own how are they going to handle this this moment you know so that's pretty comforting to me when i i remember like uh if you ever

struck a conversation you know sometimes sometimes it's awkward like uh if you're going if you're at like the cashier you know i try to like say hi i'm like you know how how are you and something in you just doesn't want to talk it's a and we all do it like we're all at the grocery store, when it's buying, I don't know, like, I don't know,

you're buying your snacks, you're buying your beer or you're buying something and you're at the cashier and then that's a moment to interact with another human. It is kind of weird,

you know? And almost every time still, I'm like, something in me doesn't want to talk. But I do want to talk. And then when it's not awkward, I'll try to ask

what they're doing and sometimes it'll be a cool quick connection and and I um because I pay I pay attention to the person in front of me and I'll always notice how they don't like interact. I mean oh shit like I don't want to how do I you know kind of brighten this person's day they've been dealing with people all day at the cashier and then and then I'll walk away and I'll kind of pay attention at the person like behind me. It's just like I'll try to just ask how how their day is going. You know, any interaction that you could have Starbucks, I'll try to, like, talk about something for, like, you know, 20 seconds.

For example, or if you're going to be somewhere for a period of time, like, again, for me, now it's just, now it's who I am, which is strange to say, I don't, this is fucking crazy. Like, the fact that I could just talk to people now is really bizarre. So, for example, when I bought the, when I bought the meta glasses I was talking to that that dude for I don't know how long

it's just about glasses and I'm like dude this this was three years ago definitely more and I would have just bought the glasses and left but it was a cool opportunity just to talk and

and then oh shit where's the where's the anxiety that I used to have where's this crippling anxiety. I think I'm still kind of processing like what

what I am and what other people are because I actually say all the time that I'm introvert which a lot of people say they are and I believe it but I wonder if there's I wonder

if there's an extrovert in there in people like it's in there somewhere especially when people start drinking this they're talking so it's it's in there somewhere you know

like there's um I personally found through digging um actually a very extroverted person um and I found that when you do things a lot

um this kind of happens I don't know it's very it's I'm still like who the fuck Fuck in my. This is crazy. But, uh, and also what, what helped me was just genuinely wanted to talk to people. Like, I do enjoy talking to people. That's just, and, uh, to close it off, if you're going to do something, like, for, for example, I'm afraid of heights.

Like when, like, if I'm at, like, a hotel room and there's like the balcony, you look down, like, that fucking, that's scary as fuck. but if you do something, it can't be by surprise. There's actually some science behind us. So it's like basically, it's, um, if you're doing like the desensitizing or

facing your fear, it has to be self-inflicted. It can't be like a surprise. Because that's the, that's the paralyzing, uh, aspect of it. It's like if you, if it's by surprise, it's that,

that's not how it is. Yeah, they like, actually um it has to facing your fear has to purposely be done for it to some con for it to get into your subconscious

that's what I found. There's definitely some science behind it if you want to check it out. I read about it in some books that completely forgot about until this moment. But yeah it has to be self-imposed

facing your fear. I remember there's this building I think we're in Australia And But we took an elevator And then like the The floor was

Not glass But like it was clear So you look down And so you're afraid of heights It's like What the fuck But I remember being terrified Because that was

That was a surprise I'm not doing this to face my fears My guess is Oh shit this is And uh Yeah, it's not good. It has to be self-imposed. But yeah, good luck with your anxiety.

I think from my experience, there's something in you that you might even know, not even even know it's there. I would have never guessed that I'm an extrovert. Never guessed. I think even my band members still don't even kind of, what the fuck. I someone in a band say I put on a character I don't think they really they could really even accept some of them

but we all it's in there it's got a dig you got dig dude I feel I feel people are art pieces this is I'm going to close off people are just art pieces like you're just full shit you're covered in shit and you're chisling away a little bit of shit every single day

little chiseled a little chiseled and then you kind of come out. That's what I personally believe in. Like you're a child and then you grow up with all this trauma and then you spend your 30s trying to undo the trauma.

You're just, whether it's reading a book or going out for a jog or eating a fucking salad or facing a fear, you're just chisling. A little chisel. I mean,

does nothing for that day, but over the course of, you know, for me, it was a month to years. And one day, it was like, oh,

what the, I don't even recognize the person in the mirror. So that's the good news. Bad news is it sucks. A lot of failure. But a failure will turn into success. So good luck with your journey. Shit, we've been going for a freaking while, dude. I should have made it four questions.

But okay, so I heard something yesterday. I jammed it again today. And I want to say how stoked I am for a day. new six feet under because the goat Chris Barnes is back and I'm very proud of him sounds fucking sick the record's called next to die 2006 dude I love like I love simple death mineral riffs where it's just like worth four notes and this is tremlo like that's like the hey j maybe

oh we could probably um we could probably oh yeah and also the announcer so I might I might be at

LA show I see July July 26 what's July 26 shit it might be uh or something that I can't say yet

but uh I'll try to make it but yeah I heard this fucking 6'E under song. I love I just love simple death mental riffs.

This tremlo and four notes fucking let's just jam at the first 10 seconds dude this river here just simple death metal rifts

simple tremble So you can Okay, I mean The goat never left But he's here Yeah, I like seeing This shit I knew that he had it in him

And it's cool to see like the music and the vocals kind of mesh well. And obviously, Jack O'Hohn is a fucking legend. It's not our story to tell, but yeah, Chris Barnes will just tell a story about how he found the name of that record. Do next to die? What if, see, simple, names like that just piss me off. because it's so simple and like yes to this day you're like

it's there like finding like the simplicity in the English language they mixadai fuck they did it they fucking found it you find it that that simple boom

um it's fucking sick dude really really cool man and obviously I'm a big Chris Barnes uh advocate so

yeah if you haven't jammed it fucking jamming dude I was cranking it this morning um oh shit

how Chris Barnes got into death and oh yeah we have a clip that you guys should check out pretty cool yeah go go

go check it out it's pretty sick straight up death metal old school Chris Barnes I didn't think he did a fucking sick job

um And there is something I saw that I want to give him a shout out. This band called Filth. Before I sat down here today, I saw they got into a van accident. And from what I understand, it's a... It might be a hit and run. Okay, yeah, so Filth band. Yesterday morning, we were in an accident on the I-15 that ended with the other...

individual fleeing the scene and us with a total van and wreck trailer everyone is okay and safe well man fleeing the scene dude hit and run people also doing that dude this camera is everywhere you can't fucking you can't go anywhere dude that could have been so bad remember like right before i sat down here i saw i saw the photos i'm like what that could have been so bad the fact that they're all safe is that is a blessing that is a blessing man and I saw that

so I want to shout out there GoFund me so if you want to check out the ban of filth then it looks like if it might be on the post I think address will be in the comments you get to put that link in the bio

dude oh there there we go support Phil's tour Tor crash Total van There we go Oh sick So far they raised Almost 16K

So let's get them up there Goal was 18 Dude Dude did this pocket Take it to the next level dude I'll donate some cash Um Sometimes shit happens

Dude Sometimes shit just happens And it's nice to get a little little handout um that could have been so much worse dude of uh a crash on their freeway dude like so yeah maybe uh yeah so check out philf's uh go fund me we'll we'll actually put a link in the uh description so in case just save people time so shout out shout out the filth i met there's singer recently cool guys it's kind of want to want to give me a little shout out which is Alright, our clock is wrong.

I have no idea where we're at, to be honest. Let's see. I'm going to give you... As I was saying earlier, I'm reconnecting with some bands and some records. I got three records for you guys to check out. Pig Destroyer, 38 counts of battery. I'm jamming that.

I might have just gave you a hint What's coming Stained so if you like if you don't know British tour I mean legendary grindcore band This legendary grind I was like in my car like Yeah this is grind man This is like what it is exactly what you want to hear It's fucking insane

They have a remix version And I went back and forth And I think I preferred the remix version It's kind of pretty cool in my car so yeah jammed that Stain dysfunctioned their first record

Yeah I always could be reminded Why I jammed that record Pretty sick Um You also I jammed Tactosa They have an EP Like the straight up deathcore

EP Um I know they They're not a band Anymore I was really sad when that happened but it was just you know

it came across my Spotify was oh I'll jam you know Tactosa I'm like damn this this is deathcore um yeah just like this kind of it just kind of brought me back

to like the era like a certain time and I mean it was regardless of what happened to the band I mean it I mean the EP is sick and this just sucks that uh

way things pan out sometimes. But, uh, so those are three, three, uh, albums to check out. And, uh, let's see.

Where, where am I going to be at? What, I'm going to be March 28th. Um, again, might be hyping something. Um,

March 28th, I'll be at the Blasco in Los Angeles for, uh, for CY. Fest for Pig Destroyer. I grew up. I bought their records as a kid and I never seen them live.

I think once they started coming East Coast, suicide was already up and going, touring. But it's gonna be my first time seeing them. So I'll be there, March 28th. There'll be another solo out. But who cares? I'm gonna say it anyway.

April Let's see April 2nd Thursday April 2nd I'll be at the palladium for Slaughter to prevail So I'll be there

Slaughter to Beavail Wyeth Chapel Atella That's gonna be a fucking Sick show Um I saw slaughter last time They played there So yeah

April 2nd I'll be at the platoium. And I'll wait for the next solo to announce where I'm going next. But yeah, so those are my top few shows. I'm going to hope you enjoyed this solo. I'm not saying I'm narrow yet, but I don't know. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know.

I feel clearheaded. I'm not hungover. right now, which is nice. Might take me a bit to find like the new footing, but I'm looking for, I'm looking at the light at the end of tunnel, which is

clearheaded, make these more fucking sick. You know, do my best not to just bombard this whole fucking thing about sobriety, but I also at the same time, I want everyone to follow the journey. And, um, well, cool, thank you for listening,

watching next week. next Monday. I'm always telling you about next Monday. We got Incantation. We got John and Luke sick-ass guitar players as guitar episode. They brought in some gear

that I'm not familiar with so it's really cool to hear something new. So we got Incantation coming in next week. And yeah, maybe I might see you at Pinkistore. We'll see. Anything else, Jay?

Nope. Cool. All right. Patreon, merch. Untefinal. Love you guys. See you.