George Kamel - I Ask Strangers Their Financial Dealbreakers (Cuffing Season Edition)

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

It can be awkward talking about money in romantic relationships. So, to break the ice, I’m asking everyday people what they really think about hot-button money and relationship issues.   Links:  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/george and get on your way to being your best self. Preorder George Kamel’s new book, Breaking Free From Broke, and get more than $100 in FREE bonus items. EveryDollar budget deal: I love a good deal, and when you sign up using this link, I’ll hook you up with a 14-day free trial and $15 off your first year of the premium version of EveryDollar. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd be in a higher tax bracket. Excuse me, miss. I'm making my will, and I want to list you as my beneficiary. I'll just need your phone number. Good thing I just got term life insurance, because when I saw you, my heart stopped. Girls, your name, Fannie Mae? Because you've got my interest. I'm falling for you faster than the price of Bitcoin. You're so hot, my debt snowball is melting. So you've gone insane.

That's fun. Why am I rattling off cheesy but effective money-themed pickup lines? Well, in addition to trying to give Caleb Hammer some dating tips, yay! We're honoring the dawn of yet another cuffing season. You know, that magical time between fall and winter when people find new romantic relationships to make it through the harsher, colder months. Weird that that became a fall-time thing, but then again, so did pumpkin spice. And we all know that's just gourd-flavored coffee.

I'm stressed but blessed, and pumpkin spice obsessed. Now, lucky for me, I've been done with the dating game a long time now. But I know a lot of you out there are in the trenches of modern dating, just ghosting your way through the murky waters of fish, Tinder. And perhaps it was the spirit of the season, but it all got me thinking about the different ways we approach dating in relationships, especially when it comes to finances. I mean, it can be really awkward for some people to talk about money.

But not knowing where your sig-off stands can come at a cost, literally. So I wanted to take this conversation to the streets to see what the people really think about some hard-hitting hot button money and relationship topics. But first, one final pick-up line for you, Caleb. Excuse me, but are you a YouTube video because I need you to hit that like button on our connection

and subscribe to this channel of love? Why did that give me Zoolander vibes and why was I not mad about it? Did you ever think that maybe there's more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking? All right, enough bad Zoolander impressions. Let's hit the streets. Do you care about how much your significant other makes?

Absolutely. No. Not necessarily as long as they're doing what makes them happy and trying their best in life. Certainly, I mean, there's points to it on the points scale system. You do get bonus points for it, but it's not a deal killer. Honestly, no. I thought you were going to say honestly, yes. Me personally, I would say no.

Was it ever a factor in y'all's relationship? I think we've grown together. So you start off, you know, not make it a whole lot, and we didn't have much, and we've built our life together. Would you date someone who makes less than you? Does that matter? Mm-mm. Doesn't matter at all. So chill.

I love this. Do you have, like, a lower limit number? Like, hey, if they're making $28,000 a year, I'm out. No, like, same thing. If they're, like, motivated and passionate about what they're doing, I think that shows a lot more character than how much money you're making. I like this. I make a nice living, and I will go a little bit. under, but I'm not going to take care of him.

This needs to be an equal thing. The same price is right. That's right. Okay. I respect that. Would you be more likely to date someone if they made a lot of money? Is that a factor? Yeah, probably. Yes, a lot. Thank you for your honesty. Love Richmond. Yeah. Doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. Like, if they're making money, like, that's, and I'm, like, also attracted to them,

I think that's, like, a good. That's a win-win. Yeah, it's a win-win. And you can keep up your lifestyle. Exactly. Brunching. Brunching. With friends. Brunching ain't cheap. More than you can afford, pal. Money's not everything. So I think money's kind of lowered down on the totem pole. It's the intellectual connection that's more important.

Oh, I like that answer. Would you date someone who doesn't believe in tipping? If they're a bad tipper? No, I would not date them. That's a red flag to you. Yeah, total red flag. No. We don't want a stingy person.

We want to date someone generous. That's exactly right. If there was some philosophical religious belief against, I'd try and be open to understanding where they were coming from. But if they were just a miserly tipper, that would be a problem for me. Yeah. It's honestly, like, just nasty. Like, why would you go out to eat?

I don't know. Like, why would you go out to eat if you can't tip your server? If you're too broke to tip, don't go out to eat. That's your stance. McDonald's has a dollar menu for a reason. Boom. Roasted. Would you marry someone with significant debt?

Um, yeah. As long as you're doing something to get out of it. I would have to assess their prospects to be able to take care of that debt. Depends on what the debt is for. Med school, yes. Because you're like, well, if you're a doctor, They're going to make it back. Okay.

But like significant credit card debt because you're... Out of control spending. Yes, no, probably not. What about a car loan? Like, they have a car that's way too much of their world. Honestly, that's just stupid, so probably not. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, guys, it's George.

You knew that. Sometimes this time of year can get a little rough. The sun goes down sooner. You don't know whether we're long sleeves or short sleeves. And if you don't like pumpkin spice, well, you're just praying for peppermint season to get here. You see, it's rough. But seriously, though, if you struggle with seasonal blues and not the kind with an A7 chord,

it's natural to feel some sadness or anxiety about it. And that's okay. A lot of people get down this time of year, but adding something positive to your routine can help counteract some of those feelings. Therapy can be a bright spot in all of the stress and change, something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded and to give you tools to manage those feelings. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Better help is flexible because it's online so it can fit your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no extra charge.

So find your bright spot this season with our friends at BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash George today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash George. All right, let's get back to it. Would you guys, either of you date or marry someone who relied on their parents financially? That would be a red flag. Okay. So if he's still like living in mom and dad's basement, you're like, bro, you got to get out.

That'd be a red flag, yes. But what if it was her? Well, she's pretty hot. So you'll make an exception for her. Probably. Okay. No. That's a hard note.

No, Bubba's got to grow up. Bobb's got to get his own job and his own place. Could be even attractive, couldn't it? It'd have been so much money they've got. Hey. I like the way you're thinking, yes. All right. How much would you be willing to spend without talking to your significant other person?

Probably just any money. I'd probably just tell her anything. I mean, just say, hey, like, I went to go there and just do it. Just constant. Open communication. I feel like there should always be communication because that's where, like, trust issues come from. And you don't feel like it's overbearing

to be like, I got a report. No. Every dime I'm spending. No, not really. To the old ball and chain. We never really set much of living in, but we talk about... You're talking about it so regularly.

So there's never any surprises. I'm like, whoa, where did this come from? What do the money conversations look like in your house? I think we really make sure it's something that is going to bring us joy or something that we really, really want before we buy a big purchase? just so we really think about it.

How important is your partner's credit score? Is that a factor to you? No. Not an issue. No. Do you care about your credit score? Yes. Okay, but not theirs.

I know it sounds selfish now, doesn't it? But I mean, it's like... It's all about my score. It wouldn't be important to. I wouldn't think, what's your score and am I going to date you or not? Sure, it does, absolutely. So you want to be someone with a great credit score? He can be good.

I understand there's issues. He can be good, but he better be able to go get a loan or buy a car without needing me to co-sign. Oh, that's a bad sign. That's a bad sign. That's like, I'm not. You're not looking for someone who needs a mommy and daddy to help. That's right. Would you combine finances with your spouse?

What's your hot take on us? Yes and no. I think that everyone should have three bank accounts. One for yourself. They should have their own. And then you have a joint one for necessary expenses together, like mortgage, groceries, stuff like that. Okay. Would you combine finances with your spouse?

Oh, yeah. Completely? Yeah. No. We would do a joint account, but I'd have a pre-nip. Oh, okay. Okay. Hey, if something goes down,

That's right. You're not going to take me to the cleaners. What I put into this marriage, I'm taken out of this marriage. And do you guys combine finances? We do. Since day one. Yep. All one account.

Yes. No his, her. Because I've heard this. Three accounts, one for her, one for him, the joint account. You're not subscribing to that. Nope. What's your thought process behind it? I think.

We're a team. Yeah. We're a team. Everything's in one pot. Yep. Always. Any advice to young people out there who are dating, what would you tell them when it comes to money. How to talk about it, what to do about it. I would tell them slow and steady.

Don't jump into a relationship. You're only young once. And you need to put 20% of whatever you making a savings and forget you had it. Just forget it. If you can't pay your own bills and not depend on mom and daddy, you ain't grown up yet. We need to get you a YouTube channel. I think it's time. Do not date cancer men. Oh, that's a sign. Anybody in July, run away. July bros, it's over for you. I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really, I'm really a good guy. Everyone about it for me. Relationships, choose love, mercy, kindness, grace, forgiveness every day.

Well, you guys are amazing. This is what it should look like, guys. Take notes at home. What if I told you my dad is Dave Ramsey? That'd be crazy. It's not, but that would be cool. You know, he's got an offense not far from here. He does. I've been there. Listen, for me, relationships aren't about the exact financial circumstance you or your person is in right now.

The key to a successful relationship, a successful marriage is aligning on the big things, right? Your principles, your values, your goals. You've got to align on those major things that make up who you are and make up the person you're trying to become. And obviously, how you handle finances is a big part of that. Now, you've got to align on things like politics, religion, parenting, and whether you're Android or iPhone people. And let me tell you, if my wife was an Android girl, I don't know that I could live. with green techs for the rest of my life. So Android people, go find Android people, okay? You deserve each other. What's that supposed to mean? So what does aligning on money really look like? Well, for me,

it's sharing principles like valuing a debt-free lifestyle, keeping a joint bank account, combining finances, discussing spending choices together and communicating regularly, practicing delayed gratification instead of YOLO, being intentional about building wealth for the future. And for married folks, I know a lot of you, maybe have never been on the same page when it comes to money. But it is not a lost cause. I promise. I see this happen all the time. If you don't know where to start, going through a money course like Financial Peace University is a great way to start the conversation and create a plan together. I'll drop a link to that below if you want to check it out. Now remember, kids, this cuffing season shift the money conversation from the nitty-gritty of dollars

and cents to values and experiences. It doesn't need to be this weird, awkward conversation. Don't make it a financial interrogation. Play it cool, okay? Have some Riz. I don't know what that is, but they tell me I should have more of it. What is Riz? And keep in mind, you two are coming from completely different life experiences, and that's why you sometimes have very different views on money. And that's okay. You need that balance.

Generally, in a relationship, there's going to be a spender and a saver, a free spirit and a nerd, a toilet paper over person, and a toilet paper underperson. And that's a good thing, except for the TP. There's only one way God intended it, and I have the patent to prove it. There, the toilet paper inventor said, front, please. But if you try to understand where your partner's coming from, you're going to make a whole lot more progress with your money and your relationship.

So give each other some grace and always move towards common ground. And be sure to let me know in the comment section, your hot takes on the stuff we covered today. Do you agree with all those nice people in the street? Do you disagree? It's not going to bother them. They don't know you exist. Oh, and send this video to someone special that you have in mind to cuff.

It's a nice sly way to sneak in there. way classier than striking up a Snapchat streak. Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time.