Get Played - 007 First Light + Spy Games

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Heather and Matt discuss the new James Bond game 007 First Light and talk about some of their other favorite spy based video games! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getp...layedFollow us on social media @getplayedpodMusic by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.comArt by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? and our Premium DLC episodes and our exclusive show Get Anime'd where we're currently watching Serial Experiments Lain go to patreon.com/getplayedJoin us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayedWanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at getplayedpod@gmail.comAdvertise on Get Played via Gumball.fmAll of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. All right, master spies, welcome to D Branch. My name is Dougat and I will be providing you with your technologies for you to be taking on your trips for espionage. So look at the table in front of you. Why don't you pick the object that you're most interested in and I'll tell you what it can do. Okay, well this one, this one seems clever. It looks like a pen, but I'm guessing it's not just a pen. Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Be careful. You click the top of that pen and I'll demonstrate surprise I've shit my pants. Okay, so it affects the user. So best case scenario, I'm going to hand this to somebody I'm trying to
Starting point is 00:01:01 distract in some way. Only works once. Only works one. Back on the table with this one. Okay, so hang on. Hang on just a second, okay? you actually you shit yourself from clicking the pen I don't see if it's if it's one use
Starting point is 00:01:20 I'm not taking that out that's not going in my load out I'm just gonna look at another one of these things here oh oh well what's a spy without what is his trusty watch oh yeah this watch many features so you might be asking yourself what can a watch do normally tell time tell time set alarms
Starting point is 00:01:40 maybe has a little light what Mine has a little light. My regular one has a little light, but my spy one, maybe it doesn't have a little light. Maybe I should. You don't have to put a light. Don't worry, maybe I got a watch isn't ready yet then.
Starting point is 00:01:56 So what you had is just a regular watch without a light? You had like an old watch. You didn't do anything to it? You didn't make it special for spies? Hold on a second. Before you get an accusatory tone I'm sorry I want you to know that a spy needs to know
Starting point is 00:02:17 what time it is If you're on the field And it's like I'll see you at 3 o'clock Make sure you make contact with the agent I don't want it I don't want you to have it It sounds like you don't like it I don't have
Starting point is 00:02:31 You already came in here with a fancier watch Why'd you even look at the watch I thought it'd be a spy Like if I drove here in a car I wouldn't I wouldn't then be like Oh what I need is a car So there's not a car part of this either? Do you have a car?
Starting point is 00:02:45 I have a car, but it's... Then I'm not going to give you my car. I don't think my car is necessarily befitting of a spy. Maybe I should show you some of the stuff you don't have. Okay, yeah, show me something. Yeah, show me something I don't have. What of this stuff on the table, don't you have? Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Do you have a wallet? Yeah, I have a wallet. Okay, then I'm not going to show you what the wallet can do. You kind of just have normal stuff here. It's going to be hard. You have a camera? I actually don't have a camera. My phone has a camera.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Oh, what? Your phone has a camera. My phone, my iPhone has a camera on it. Then, why would you carry two cameras around? It kind of looks like you just taped a rotary phone to a camera. That's, that, it's not tape. Adhised or whatever, I don't know. It's hot glue.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Hot glue. All right, how about I show you this one? Look at this ring. What could be in the ring? Do you have any rings? I don't have any rings. All right, great. And if that was a roundabout way of asking if I'm,
Starting point is 00:03:40 taken or single. I am single. Great. Well, this ring, if you twist the jewel, it has a secret compartment inside. Okay. And if you unfold this old piece of paper that's inside the secret compartment, it says, will you marry me? Are you proposing to me? Or is this for me to give to somebody? I gave it to you. Why are you giving it away? I'm single, too. I'm just saying... Look, I'm just a guy.
Starting point is 00:04:12 You're a spy. I'm just a spy standing in front of a girl. Her pants full of shit. And my answer is yes. I can't believe I'm getting married to a spy. They said, Dougette, you never do it. And you know what? I prove them all wrong.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Before we kiss, I should take out all of these spy teeth. All of your teeth are spy teeth? Yes, they're all spy teeth. And so by that, are they all cyanide capsule collapsible tea? Every single one of them. Whatever you do, don't bite down. We sneak behind enemy lines and take our drinks shaken, not stirred, as we explore the history of spy games and first light this week on Get Played.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I'm going to get played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow. host, Matt, the finisher, the franchise, Mr. Games Apodaca. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premier video game podcast where this week we're talking about spy shit. We're talking about 007 First Light.
Starting point is 00:05:48 We're talking about espionage. I got to say, it seems like it would be really hard and maybe not that fun, but the idea of being a spy is really cool. I like spy stuff. I would get shot and killed so quickly. No, I'd be a horrible spy. I would be so bad at it. But the idea of being a classic James Bond spy where like I think disguises are really fun and funny.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I think you're in a bit of a disguise right now. I'm in a bit of a disguise right now. I'm kind of wearing my normal clothes. Well, but you're dressed as like the Hawaiian version of yourself. Yeah, I just got back from vacation and I was like, you know what? I'm popping the shirt, huh? It's good. I'm trying to bring the island vibes back to the mainland.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Was it a good, were they good island vibes? The island vibes were excellent. You know what? I will say it was really windy when we were there. And there was a 6.0 earthquake when I was there. And it was legitimately very scary. That was one, that was just one, that was that night. Wow.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Like we were going to bed. We're about to rest our little heads on our sleep, on our pillows and drift off into the land of slumber. And the earth starts shaking. And there's a lot less of it. over there. I'm on island, goddammit. Was it a long shake or a big short shake? It was a long shake, but a long, big one. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Like, nothing fell over or anything, and I don't think there was any, or, you know, much reported damage over there, but it was, it was scary. It was one of the bigger ones I'd been in in a while. Wow. Yeah. I don't think you shared that with the thread. No. I was too busy having up the time of my fucking life.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I was trying to be as little phone as possible. Like I even took like work stuff off my phone because I was like, I don't want to see any. I don't want to do anything like that. Do you drink any rum? I drank rum every single day. Really? Oh my God. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:45 I had my tides every day. Oh, thank God. I had at least two my tides every day. That is so great. Because of it, I had heartburn every single night. Oh my God. That makes me so happy, Matt. It was really, really good.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Do you know, was it a specific brand of rum or was it just? general like hotel rum. It was whatever was in the my tides at like the restaurants I was eating at. I don't know I didn't inquire much further. I'm there for the juice. The rum is part of it but I'm there for the juice. I fucking miss my tithes. Yeah they're really really great.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Rum on an island nothing better. No and you know what? One of the nights we were we talked about this in a recent episode I think either I can't remember if it was DLC or if it was a Who can keep this shit straight? Who knows? One of the places we ate restaurant was ocean adjacent
Starting point is 00:08:29 The waves over there not too crazy, pretty flat. So nothing's like, you know, cresting over here, whatever. But there was like a bunch of rocks. You can see the ocean. Table is on the sand. Nice. And I was kind of like, this is ideal dining situation. Sunsetting, you just see the horizon.
Starting point is 00:08:45 It's going down. It was awesome. It was really, really great. We love going. I ate, you mentioned it on the show. I ate at two different roadside barbecue places that put to shame basically any food I've eaten on the mainland. They were insane.
Starting point is 00:09:03 That makes me miserable. Yeah, it was awesome. And people just, yeah, just like cooking up just incredible food on the side of their road. And they weren't open every single day. We had to like time when we were going. Like, and we had to go like early because they run out of stuff. But it was, it was really, really awesome. It was nice to be, it was nice to be away, but it's good to be back.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Happy to be back. I feel the opposite. Yeah. It was nice to be away. It is terrible to be back. Yeah. I mean, I wish I could be there all the time. But then I would just be this guy that's, that drinks my tides every day.
Starting point is 00:09:41 And he eats two starches with every meal. Truly, not a bad way to be. Not too bad. Not too bad. No, you just get a little silly. I'm really, really happy at a good time. Yeah. I swam in the ocean every single day.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I snorkeled. God. I saw a gigantic manterey, not from within the ocean, but from above the ocean. Like on a helicopter? No, I was on like a, it's gonna sound crazy. I was like on like a, like, it was cliffside. Like, but they had like a light in the ocean where you can like, where mantere's like will like show up.
Starting point is 00:10:09 And there was this one sort of like putting on a show for everybody. Wow. And it was, it was crazy. Those things are, those fuckers are big. Yeah, they're big boys. I didn't know. Yeah. I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:10:18 They're like your arms stretched out. Yeah. No, it was like, and he was swimming fucking fast. Yeah. Dude, but he seemed cool. I liked him. It's fun to think about like the, in between steps on the evolution of the Manta ray
Starting point is 00:10:30 when they weren't quite big. Yeah, because stingrays are kind of similar, but they're small and they can kill you. Right, right. They're smaller guys. But like a Manta ray, some evolutionary step was, what if we got bigger?
Starting point is 00:10:42 What if we just got and flat? Yeah. Kind of a useless design on land, of course. But like in the ocean, they're just, like, not absorbing, but they're just like sucking in plankton and stuff. Yeah. They're cruising.
Starting point is 00:10:57 It was really, really cool. Not as many turtles as I had seen before, but they're around. I saw some turtles as well. Yeah. I saw a dead puffer fish on the land. Oh, scary. And then I was kind of like, oh, no, it was sad,
Starting point is 00:11:13 but then I saw the little ones in the ocean. And I was like, look at these guys. They weren't puffed up. They were just kind of like, you can tell that that's what they are. I also took a photo. We went to this, like, museum thing, and I took a photo of this like children's laminate that had all like the different fish on it
Starting point is 00:11:32 because I was like remembering fish that I was seeing I was like I gotta see if I got to find out what's what down here a lot of parrot fish a lot of like angel fish and stuff like that it was really really I love swimming in the ocean when it's like that I wouldn't do it here necessarily because the waves are rough yes but over there it's really like it's super flat And you can just...
Starting point is 00:11:57 My wife don't want me to go out too far, though. I get really, like, confident. And I'm like... Because I think I'm a pretty good swimmer. Right. And, you know, I had my snorkel and I had my... That's what the ocean tells everyone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:09 You're doing a really good. Why don't you come out farther out? Come farther out and... We'll take care of you. It's all right. Take your mask. Yeah, I was like, I could go a little further than this, but she was like, if anything bad happened to you, I was like, yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:12:22 It'd be pretty sad for a... I would hope a lot of people. But I made it back. I'm glad you did. I made it back. And I'm happy to be back. I brought you guys little gifts. They had a little Sanrio, little plushes.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Yeah, you gave me a Guditama, which is my favorite Sanrio character, the lazy egg. And I got ranch, is that Karomi? That's right. A little tan Karomi with the guitar. That one just kind of had a ranch vibe. It is me. Yeah, it's good.
Starting point is 00:12:49 It's good. Why Girl get his. And then I received my gifts from Heather. a totodial sticker, which is in my bag down here, and also a plush of Oddish, who, let's face it, I could destroy easily. Yeah, that was why I got him for you. Because I saw him and I was like...
Starting point is 00:13:07 This bitch don't even have arms. He's fucking dead. On our new segment, what would you do to kill this Pokemon? Yeah. Squeeze. Palmit. Palmit. I'd have Otis gunk all over my hands.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I also got you in Ornum and C, which is my favorite... a tiny family mart beverage. Excited for you to drink that. It's delicious. I'm really excited to try it. Gives you a kick. I'll go on, I'll drink it, then go on big walk tomorrow. Perfect. Perfect use of an oranomit C.
Starting point is 00:13:39 But then you also got a gift from a listener. Oh, yes. This is from Randy Ma. So why don't you open it up? Wow. Because it's a bit of a surprise sort of for you, but also kind of not for you. Okay. I know what it is.
Starting point is 00:13:52 You know what it is. I know what it is. It's not for me, but it's for me. It's not for you. you. But it's not for me. It's straight up not for you. So it's a gift I'm opening, but it's not for me. Right. Have you never seen a box? I'm just like confounded by this box. You can see it has no clear opening. The box? I don't think so. I think the ends, right? Down here. Yeah, that's an that's an opening there. You wrote. Oh my God. Please. How are two of us?
Starting point is 00:14:27 I don't know. I'm so stressed right now because you're using your hands violently but you're also holding scissors that you're not using and now you're driving those scissors into the cardboard towards your fingers. You think I'm going to cut my finger out with a pair of scissors? No, because you put it down.
Starting point is 00:14:44 But oh my God. This is and I'm nervous because it's like... Yeah. Can you hear that? Okay, I can... Maybe don't shake it so hard. I don't... I think it's fine. This is this is this is some box.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Just. Oh boy. I'll be okay. There you go. Do it the normal way. See if that works. Oh. See, I saw you almost cut your finger.
Starting point is 00:15:12 No, I didn't do it. Here on that exciting audio segment, is Matt going to die on Mike? Man struggles to open box. Ooh, wow. All right. In this box is. Should I read this? Yeah, I think, well, is it...
Starting point is 00:15:31 It looks like, I mean, it looks like some sort of promo copy of some kind. It's, it's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, this is for your mom. This is, this is a Lego Batman tattoo and loves Lego Batman? Yeah, so this is this this package is for your mother. But I want it. Well, what you got is. You got a Lego Batman code and all the DLC, but this particularly, all this is for your mom. Cool.
Starting point is 00:16:05 That is awesome. I've been excited to play this game, so I can't wait to give it a go. Yeah, but there, I mean, there's other boxes in the box. Let's see. So we have, this is the Batman, this is the Batmobile. Mm-hmm. This is another Batmobile. Yep.
Starting point is 00:16:19 A different one, I should say. Okay. Two Batmobiles. A third Batmobile has entered the chat. They're all the different Batmobiles. They're all the different ones. This one is the Clooney Batman and Robin Batmobile. And then this one is, this was the Patinson Batmobile.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Man, Pattinson's cool. Yeah, he's good. You know, he's playing Chris Hansen in a movie? I do. I didn't know about it. I didn't know about it either. And then this one's the Batfleck Batmobile. Also pretty good.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Yeah. I kind of think all the Batman actors have been doing good job. They're doing their best, man. What are you going to do? Yeah. You know? There's only so much you can do. This is awesome.
Starting point is 00:16:59 My mom's going to be very happy with this. She loves Lego Batman. Yeah, I know she does. I don't know if she's going to play the game. She doesn't have a way to do it, but she loves... I recently was telling somebody... What do I do? Can I help you?
Starting point is 00:17:14 How hilarious. Now you can put it back on the... Okay. This is great. Or we can put it on the... I don't know. No, no. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:17:23 So those are all for your mom from... She'll be really excited. Our friend Randy. Thank you, Randy. This was his first, I think his first game that he was a part of at Warner Brothers. Oh, awesome. And then he also sent you the codes for the game itself. Oh, great.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Thank you. Shout out to Randy. Thank you. Yeah. Look at this. How nice. She's going to be so excited. That's great.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Wow. Lego Batman. I'm trying to find an elegant segue. Batman. and Batman's a bit of a spy stuff, too. But we shouldn't be talking about spy stuff first. We got a totally different segment to do first. Well, this was, I was going to build that into it.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Oh, okay. Okay, I'll let you cook. Watch this. Hey, you know, Batman's, and Ranch Lee Volison. Hey, you know, Batman's kind of a spy. Really? Oh, is that so? I mean, he's kind of more detective, but detective's kind of.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Anyway, Ranch leaving. Hey, you know, Batman's a little bit of a spy. Oh, we're starting again. You know, Batman. in some ways, if you think about it, he's a bit of a spy. I hear you. But we're not going to talk about spy stuff yet because we have another thing. That was your segue?
Starting point is 00:18:41 Your segue was, this thing's not a thing, but also we're not going to talk about that yet. Matt's crying. He's laughing so hard. Crashing the car. Look, I thought it was fine. No, it's fine. It's fine. No, Batman's a bit of a spy, but we're not going to talk about that yet.
Starting point is 00:19:07 It also took you like eight tries. Yeah, yeah. No, it's, I think it's about as best as we can do. When people hear that Mint Mobile plans are only $15 per month, a lot of them wonder, what are you talking about? How is that possible? What is the catch? Tell me the catch.
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Starting point is 00:24:26 I can't wait. I've done, because I did the show last week with just Nick. Yeah. I'm doing the show just this week. We just you. Yeah. I got to say, we, as we've become such a tri-force of friendship, that we are off balance
Starting point is 00:24:40 any other way. Yeah, absolutely. Talking with Giz Nick was so weird. Yeah. I'm a lot less, I'm not, I'm not weirded out talking to you. No. But I feel like you and I have a lot less of a handle on, like, structure. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:53 We all do sort of have an important side of the triangle. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And also our powers power each other up. So like when Nick is here, you can be more silly. Yeah. Because you got like you guys are powered up in silliness. And we should say Nick's not here because he's on, he's doing one of the, I think, final doughboys tour dates.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Right. Until later in the year. Right. Right. So he's recording. He's fine. He's just recording a show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:23 It isn't this one. He's in the south, I believe. Yeah. Is that where he is? Yeah. He is, yeah. Because I work with him so he's on Zoom all day. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Which is brutal for anybody to be at a different place in an Airbnb doing Zoom all day long and then getting on stage and doing a show. That's brutal. That's a schedule. If I had to guess, he's pretty, he wasn't going to be out exploring the town. I guess that's true. Man. But we're not here to talk about that. We are not here to talk about Nick's other show.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Yeah. Nick's kind of a spy in some ways. He is. You can just kind of say it about people. Yeah. He is kind of a spy. He infiltrates different cities. He has like a performative aspect of his personality.
Starting point is 00:26:11 So he's not really being himself. This will be something that we circle back to. Yes. Is Nick Spy? Well, I'll just jump ahead. Well, we're not doing the topic. No, we're not doing the topic. We never do the topic until after a segment.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Usually we bullshit a little bit up top, which we've done. Yes. Then maybe we talk about food. I struggled to open a box for 10 minutes. You struggle that. That box opening segment is a segment we always do. Yeah. And then we talk about games.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Yes. And there's a particular question that brings us into that part of the show. And that question doesn't go a little something like this. It goes exactly like this. The question is, what are you playing? What are you playing? Hi, is me the rigid and evil merchant, Matt. I couldn't find you.
Starting point is 00:26:56 You couldn't find. You were looking for me. You were on the Upper Peninsula, as I recall. Yeah, I was in the Upper Peninsula. I got to tell you right now, not even close to where I was. What? I thought you were an island, the American island. I guess I, yeah, but not where you were.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Okay. Not where you were. You couldn't have been further away from me if you tried. Well, I couldn't find you. I looked for you and you weren't there. Let me ask you something, Murch. What? What's up?
Starting point is 00:27:26 Have you seen this sort of, I guess we can call it a fan? and theory that the new Resident Evil movie directed by Zach. Is the origin story of me? Yeah, that's right. It's interesting. You think it's interesting. It's an interesting theory. I have not been approached by lawyers,
Starting point is 00:27:44 so I would have to guess it's a no. Yeah, yeah. Because it would have given me a heads up and probably some money. You would have had to sell your life rights for it to be a biopic. Yeah. I'm just, you know, I'm not trying to start anything.
Starting point is 00:28:00 You think I got to contact Zach Krieger? I think he might have to get Craigger on the horn. Do you think he would recognize who I was if I left him a voicemail? I think so. I've seen a lot of clips of him talking about the movie so far, and he's talked about how he's played a lot of the games, in particular, four. Everybody loves four? Everybody loves four.
Starting point is 00:28:21 There are Resident Evil fans, and there are Resident Evil fans. Yeah. And Resident Evil fans also love four, but there are Resident Evil four fans that are just that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like Mario. Yeah, like Mario. Sometimes there's somebody who like all Mario games, and then there's the people who only like Cart. Yeah, that's true. You know what? I wasn't sure that you were going to be right, but in the end you were. Speaking of, when's a Resident Evil Cart coming out?
Starting point is 00:28:50 They should have that. They have enough characters, and they have enough items that could make it interesting. You know, you could use a green herb to go faster, right? Right. Maybe the different colored herbs are different degrees of fast. Yeah. Right? And maybe you have an egg that you can throw.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Yeah, your car has a gun. Yeah, car just has gun. And then you can roll up, you drive over like a one bullet. Resident Evil Combat Racing. That's good. And then the cars are the gun. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, no, it's good.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Resident Evil Combat Racing. Give me a call my phone number is 666. Your phone number... 416. Uh-huh. 6661. Okay. At first, I will say, I was scared.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Then I heard the rest of the phone number. Yeah. And I was happy that there were more numbers that followed. Please, if you're on a listener, just call that number and ask for the resident. an evil merchant. There's probably no harm in calling it. I don't see why you couldn't call it. I don't know if 666 is an actual area.
Starting point is 00:30:05 No. Yes, this is mine. Oh. I'm going to have to ask you, Merch, not to yell at Heather like that. But I just answered the question. You kind of had to, you have to admit, you kind of had a tone. Do you need me to fill time when cousin Nick's not here? No.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Or do you need a third hook? No, no, no, no. I think we're good. We're good on that front. You know, we have, we have Audish here. I got to be honest, they're not recording a lot of comedy bang bang. Well, Comedy Bang Bang also on tour right now, on the ground beefing tour. Oh, is that where they are?
Starting point is 00:30:44 I keep showing up in the studio. Yeah, that's Scott's house, and I don't think he would like it if you were just there alone. Ding dong. Who's there? It's me. It's Scott's house. All right, me at Scott's house who? Matt, what?
Starting point is 00:31:04 What? Is it me at Scott's house? Who? Who is what? I was doing it like a classic setup, like a knock-knock joke, but you did a ding-dong. What are you talking about? Never mind. Who?
Starting point is 00:31:18 Straight up? Never mind. Me and who are you? Never mind. Me at Scott's who. Who is that? That's the person on the other side of the door. I guess it would be Scott.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Where is he? I don't know. I'm lost. I think it was my fault. Maybe I just, maybe I just ask a question at hand. Sure. And there's mad up and not go,
Starting point is 00:31:48 what are you playing? Merch, thank you so much. I got to say. Merch out. We have two features on the show here where people, their names end in we have ranch,
Starting point is 00:32:01 and we have merch. And I hope I don't mix them up is all I'm saying. I don't think you could. I think I could. I hope he doesn't mix them up. You hope that, because it's entirely possible he could wake up one day and be like, I'm ranch today.
Starting point is 00:32:18 That's really scary. Yeah. Matt, what are you playing? Did you have any gaming time on your vacation? I had some gaming time on the vacation. You know, while I was at Sandy Beaches, I did not, but in where we stayed in like the nighttime hours or in between things, so I would get a little gaming done.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I got a lot of gaming done on the plane on the way over there. I spent about nearly the entire flight over playing Final Fantasy 10 undubbed. Oh! Wired headphones into the Thor. Wow! And was just so pumped on it. It made me realize that I think I had started it. at one point a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Like maybe I had borrowed it or something. And I never I never played it all the way through. You haven't played 10? No. Most of what I know of the characters is from Kingdom Hearts. Wow. Where they're like kid versions of the character.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Wow. So, Matt, this is such an exciting development. Yeah. So over the course of the trip, I played about 10 hours of the game. Wow. Wow. Because I mean, most of it on planes. Like I played a lot of it on the way back. too.
Starting point is 00:33:32 But then, so I'm about, so I'm about 10 hours in. I'm in an area called, I believe, the high grounds. It's like chapter five-ish. And I'm loving it. I am upset. Okay. Well, first, this is not what I'm upset
Starting point is 00:33:48 about, but I do have to say, undubbed, I'm just kind of like reading, you know, the subtitles, of course. Yeah. The performances aren't as distracting. You get to that laughing scene, it's still fucking crazy. Yeah, it is still fucking crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:07 It's like, it's not better. No. But it is like, there is something about it. Like, I think sort of having to read the conversation, you sort of get the point that they're driving at from it. I love the characters quite a bit. Who's your favorite in the party? I think Aron's fucking awesome. Oron's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:34:30 He looks so fucking cool. Yeah. But this brings me to what I'm upset about. Oh, okay. And if Nick was here, he'd have my back on this. Oh. Nobody told me about Lulu. Nobody told me.
Starting point is 00:34:43 What did they have to tell you? That she even existed. Nobody told you Lulu existed? There's been a secret babe in this game this whole time and nobody even told me. I had on my desk in the early 2000s like a 12-inch, vinyl lulu Not because I thought She was a babe, she is
Starting point is 00:35:05 But because her costume at the time Was the hardest I have Like the costume Laft slash yesed A costume in any of these games It's the most Tetsuya Nemora thing ever It is all belts
Starting point is 00:35:20 Yeah like literally It's not like when you say that What you mean is like oh she's got a lot of It's a dress It's a dress made of belts Made out of belts. Ranch, I'm going to need you to pull up Lulu just for your own sake. Lulu Final Fantasy 10, just so you could see how many belts she's wearing as her dress.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Wow. That's a lot of belts, right? It's a lot of belts. The front of her dress is belts. It's really, really crazy, and she has a little stuffed animal that attacks for her. It's fucking great. It's really, really great. She's an awesome character.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Yuna is also incredible. Yuna's great. Look, I think Waka's my guy Waka's pretty good Waka's really really great But I love everybody I love all of them I'm excited
Starting point is 00:36:06 I do think it's very like Because think about the final fantasies That I've played 1, 2, 3 Which is insane, actually Yep 7 Yep And then 16
Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah There's a gap There's a gap There's a lot of gaps But there is like a like It plays really well on the Thor Oh by the way I will say the Thor's battery life is unbelievable actually
Starting point is 00:36:32 I great machine I played it the entire flight and still had about like half my battery left incredible it probably you know depends on what you're playing I would imagine that playing you know emulating a PS2 game probably not too taxing on it but um it played great
Starting point is 00:36:52 and uh there was another thing I was I was go oh so my knowledge of Final Fantasy, the ones that I've played, it's a bit of a scatter shot. I think possibly, and I'm assuming he's the, I think he's the villain. Seymour?
Starting point is 00:37:12 Okay. The dumbest looking guy I've ever seen in the game. Yeah. He looks stupid. He looks like... He sucks. He's not a good visual design. Every other character looks fucking cool.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Amazing. And he, they were like, Like, what if we had like another Sephiroth guy, but he looks like he sucks? The hair really doesn't work. No, you can see where, but you can draw a straight line from Sephiroth to him to Ansel in Kingdom of Arts. Yeah. Because he looks insane. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:46 I don't like his little bangs. He's no good. I don't like how open his shirt is. Yeah, no. But I'm excited to continue the game. I also was playing a lot of ball pit the ball game. Yeah, the ball game. I don't know what to call it.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It's like it's a rogue light where you're firing a bunch of balls and stuff and then you get like different boons and things like that. But my brother-in-law brought his steam deck on the trip, and I was telling him, was like, have you tried ballpick? We like a lot of the same games, and he hadn't tried ball pit. and then I got him addicted to ball pit on the trip, and he was like, I'm going to play this the whole flight back. That's great.
Starting point is 00:38:31 It was awesome. We had a great time with that. He was playing Slate Aspire 2, which Nick would be excited about, but he was really into that. And then ball pit took him away from it. Incredible. So that's what I play. I also, oh, when I got back, look, I reinstalled Game Pass.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Okay. Because Forza Horizon 6 came out. Yeah. And it's set in Japan. And have you seen? I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. It's not a Gundam. I've seen it. It's not a Gundam. But I've seen it. You can race against a Gundam. I know. I've seen it. And let me just tell you something. If you miss Japan, the game's going to make you fucking sad. I'm playing this thing and I'm enjoying it. But you're just driving around Japan and you're like, but I'm not there. Yeah. And you can't get out of your car. And you can't get out of the car. And you can crash into anything. And then you feel like, you're just driving. You're like, you're doing a bad job of being in Japan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:26 But it is extremely good. Yeah. It's just like a fun, good racing game. I, you know, obviously don't have my Xbox anymore. Yeah, I have it. And looking at Forza, I've just been like, God damn it. It's the only game I can imagine playing on an Xbox. I have a pitch for you.
Starting point is 00:39:45 What? Because I think you could do this with... Steam deck? Oh yeah, the Steam deck. You could do it probably with the Applevision Pro. and you can do it with the Thor, which is also what I did while I was away. There's an Xbox, like, it's not an app,
Starting point is 00:40:02 but you go on the Xbox website, and it installs like a page where you can do, like, remote or cloud gaming, and Forza Horizon 6 is available as a cloud game. So not probably the best way to play it, but you could try it. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Maybe I'll give it a shot. Yeah. Ranch, have you been playing anything? I'm still playing Tomodachi Life. Yes. Nice. Have there been any updates on the romance side or even the political drama side? A lot of divorces.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Oh. I don't know what's in the air. Wow. You know everyone's over each other. Wow. I haven't gotten back in and I'm nervous that. I'm nervous that. Did I tell you that Hideo Kajima was in love with my wife?
Starting point is 00:40:46 Yes. He was the only one because I picked that she was my wife. Yeah. Because I was like, well, I'm going to marry my wife in the game. Right. And he comes around. He's like, oh my God, I'm in love with her. He sees her in the clouds and stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:02 And I was like, that's my thing. Get hands off. And then he became, I became his best friend. It was a one-sided best friendship. Because I like, he was choking or some shit. And I like helped him. It's an extremely funny game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:19 But I haven't checked in on them in a while. But I should go see. I didn't continue, because I only played it for our episode, and then I think I did, I missed the episode because I was sick. Yes. And I dropped off as soon as the episode was recorded. Does it continue to do stuff when you are not playing it? I think they start, not a lot happens when you're not there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Okay. Except when I logged in recently, I have two brothers, real-life brothers in the game and did not. Are their names ketchup and mustard? Incredible. Incredible. He's still laughing. Metz still laughing at his own thing. I'm laughing for two here.
Starting point is 00:42:09 I have two of my friends who are real-life brothers and I didn't click the box of their actually siblings in real life and they have fallen in love. Oh, my gosh. That's tough stuff. Yeah. That's tough. Well, hey.
Starting point is 00:42:24 I think probably freakier stuff has happened on islands. Yeah, that's like the Rosalina Peach pornography that everyone is disavowed. They used to make the people who made Rosalina Peach porn aren't necessarily into sibling porn. Yeah. But once it was canonically established that they are siblings, a lot of people got really upset because they had unknowingly drawn incest porn. Yeah, yeah. I guess I'm going to have to do. my own research so I know what to avoid.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Heather, what are you playing? I am still deeply Pocopia-pilled. I got something for you. My friendship with Fortnite is over. Pocopia is my new best friend.
Starting point is 00:43:18 So, Fortnite is only as good as the availability of the people that you like to play with. And the people I like to play with have been unavailable. Either they're traveling or they're working too much. So I'll sign on, see nobody's around, log off, or I'll text somebody and it'll be like, hey, I can't play right now.
Starting point is 00:43:39 So in this window of time, there just hasn't been a lot of Fortnite. And it's when I log on to Fortnite, it is so fun right now. Okay. There are so many different movement options. And my favorite thing in Fortnite is movement. I like to go fast and I like to shoot guns. And right now, Fortnite has a lot of both of those things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:01 And in fact, right now there is a gun that also makes you go fast. And I'm like, this is my favorite weapon. That's great. That has ever been in Fortnite. Like I carry this weapon. I go very fast. You run so fast. And then you can shoot the gun.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Great. But I haven't been able to play because nobody's around. So I've been playing Pocopia. Would I have been playing Pocopia if people are around to play Fortnite? probably still playing Yeah. It is my... You'd have got a couple rounds
Starting point is 00:44:28 in at least. I love it so much, Matt. It is... I said this last week. It has changed my relationship to Pokemon. Yeah. I texted the group
Starting point is 00:44:36 that I was thinking about getting a troubish tattoo. I'm not going to do it, but I thought about doing it. Yeah. You get a little ankle troubish. I could get an ankle trubbish. I have now gone
Starting point is 00:44:48 online and purchased from my proxy shipment company in Japan. the trubbish garbage can, the official troubish garbage can, which is a desktop litter box for, like, you know, paper edges or whatever. He sits in a trash can with his mouth open and he put garbage in his mouth and he's happy. And I also picked up the trubbish coin purse official goods. Wow. And then today, Takar Tomi, which is a Japanese toy car.
Starting point is 00:45:24 company announced pre-orders for their Pokopia line that comes out in September and I ordered the entire fucking set. Whoa. All of the little guys. Because I'm like, these guys live in my house. They are on my shelf. Yeah. Top 25 game of all time for me. For sure. I am on my final section, I think. I think I'm on my final section. So you're in like post game. In post game yeah. I've leveled up every area save one to 10. I am
Starting point is 00:45:52 at level 7 on my final area, I have 251, I think 251 Pokemon or maybe No, maybe I have 241 Pokemon. In the final area, I am making, I've decided, I was going to go thematically and just make the entire thing Amsterdam. But then I saw that somebody online
Starting point is 00:46:17 had already made fucking picturesque, perfect, canal-based Amsterdam. And I was like, well, I can't do it to Amsterdam. So now it's just all my favorite stuff. Okay. So I have a street that would be the best street I'd ever seen. It is Amsterdam buildings and Japan buildings. It's Tokyo landmarks and Dutch landmarks.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Wow. All on a single row with parks and hot springs. Wow. I love it so much, man. I love it so much. Finally got Pikachu. I don't even Yeah
Starting point is 00:46:53 Is he like a late game I don't think he's I don't think he's supposed to be a late game But for whatever reason Just in the in a sort of rollout Of my guys He ended up being a final zone Pokemon for me
Starting point is 00:47:07 What about the little What about the ghost one? You got him? Which ghost? The ghost Pikachu Sleep to the sleepy guy Oh Pikachu Pikachu
Starting point is 00:47:15 Yeah Pikachu is story based So you get him You have to get him I thought you'd maybe mimic you. Oh, no, no, no. I don't want anything to do with that guy. I got Mew.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Yesterday. I got Mew. So I moved Mew and Pikachu into the same district. Yeah. But Pikachu only likes electric stuff. So I made him an ultra-modern building with a ton of gaming PCs
Starting point is 00:47:38 and stuff in it. And he is, like, when you go to your, like, the info page in front of the Pokey Center, it'll tell you, like, who's enjoying their life the most and who is, like, feels like shit. Yeah. And there's only one Pokemon up at the top and it's Pikachu. And he's like, this is awesome.
Starting point is 00:47:57 This rules. And then everyone else is in great or average. There was one Pokemon who I accidentally trapped in his house. He was like, I really need it to be more dark. Haxorus. Is that his name? I don't know. It's a, it's a, not coming to mind.
Starting point is 00:48:17 T-Rex with hacks in his first name. I think it's haxerous. He was like, I needed to be darker, man. I feel like shit. And so I was like, well, I'm going to dig him a cave. So I dug down, made him a cave house, invited him to the place, put the door up once he was inside and then asked, do you want to move here? And he was like, this is great.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Thank you. And then I left. And then, like, two days later, realized he was like, couldn't get out of the house because of the geometry of the house. I'm stuck in here. This also happened with, there's like a four-legged, I don't know all of their names. I got to get better at Pokemon. There's a four-legged metal Pokemon who looks kind of like a Fukushima, but with an angry face.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Is it Mel-Tan or something? Yeah, Mel-Tan or something like that. I built a house for him, but he couldn't go up the stairs. And he was really upset, and he would always be getting these clouds over his head. And I'd be like, what's going on? And he'd be like, upstairs cannot go. he speaks in like strange robot talk. So I'd like rebuild stairs, try again.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Upstairs cannot go. Rebuilt the stairs. Made them super wide. Upstairs. Can I go? And I was like, I can't figure out how to get you upstairs, buddy. I don't know what to do. And he's like, can you make, can you?
Starting point is 00:49:36 Because I also put stuff on the second floor. And it's like, can you put that stuff closer to me? And I was like, I'm trying, man. There's a stairwell here in a huge hole for you to go through. But he couldn't do it. Oh, bye. They are real to me now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah, they are. They're real to me. I have to get back in there. Like I'll check on it every now and then, but I sort of get overwhelmed because I see what people are doing and I want to, I want to like make the areas nice. But I kind of am like, maybe that's not how I'm supposed to play the game. Maybe I'm supposed to just make everybody happy. And then, because like you're building homes, like, you're building like bespoke homes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:20 This is my main street right now. Yeah. Like I just like, I don't think I'm going to do that. Beautiful. Yeah. It's like it's you got your, you got Dutch architecture and some a little bit of French maybe. And then this is Pikachu's house because it's very, he was like, I need modern shit. That's my main street that I'm, I'm doing right now.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I, I, I've never played a game. I mean, I've never played a building game. Yeah. I love it. I think it's a, it's, I mean, it's just a testament to the brand. It is. Right, because like maybe a game comes around that's like this with different guys and people are like, yeah, sure. Sure.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Cool. Never, I was never a Minecraft girl. No. Then they put Pokemon in there like, wait a minute, I really like these guys. I got to see these guys. Yeah, I like, I have, like, I have Charzard on my, like, Charzard was like an early one that I got. But Charzard's my, I love Charzart. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:15 It's basic, but I love Charzard. Yeah. I have the card on my shelf. Is Totadiel your favorite guy? I think Totadial Totodial is I think one of my favorite stars for sure. I think Charzard forever my first love
Starting point is 00:51:28 but of that generation of my favorite generation it's Toto Dile. Wait, so Charzard is your number one. Like if you were to get a Pokemon, if I'm getting a Pokemon tattoo, it's Trubesh. Who is your Pokemon tattoo
Starting point is 00:51:41 if you have to get a Pokemon tattoo? I mean, I am getting a very specific Pokemon tattoo very soon actually. You are? Yeah. Did I know this? I maybe put it in the chat.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I maybe showed you, no, no, I showed Nick. I'm getting one, I mean, by the time this comes out, I won't have gotten it yet, so it's possible I could chicken out. But I'm not going to chicken out because they already, my pants matched the chair. I'm getting one based off of the Gen 1 sprite of Charzard. Incredible, man. Yeah, I'm excited about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Because he looks kind of like, he looks round. Yeah. Like, he's kind of like hunched over in his round. And I just really like, I saw that design the other day. And I was like, oh man, those sprites were so, I feel like if they looked different, I wouldn't give a shit really about Pokemon. They looked so real.
Starting point is 00:52:31 And like the ones that we have now, like the new ones, like I feel like there's a very clear difference in character design of like newer Pokemon to older Pokemon. Like Toto Dio is still in that like old zone where like they had like this like sort of idea. I think they kind of lost the, I don't really like the way the new starters for winds and waves look.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Isn't one of them a dog though? One of them's a dog. It's the first ever dog starter. Yeah. Oh, in 30 years of Pokemon. Yeah. I'm just kind of like, mm. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:05 I'm so, I'm so brainwashed by Popopia that I'm like a day one wins and waves girl. Oh, I mean, look, I've been brainwashed. I've played the last shitty one, didn't like it, and I'm going to, Like, I can't wait for this new thing. I'll always, I'll always play a new one just to see. Yeah. But I mean, I had to go Charzart, I think, for the tattoo. Because, like, I think that would satisfy it enough.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Whereas, like, if I got, say, a different guy, I would then get a bunch, I think. I, so I wish I'd known this. I thought Tododiel was your guy. Todel is my guy. Because when I was in the Pokemon Center in Tokyo, I was like, well, he's already got the toadile that they have on the shelf currently. So the only totodial merch was that sticker, which is by B-side, it's apparently like a brand. Like a collab of some kind. You remember, I think I bought the sticker when we were at the- Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:54:10 But I didn't buy it. Oh, okay. And I remember being like, I really got him, but I secretly wanted a sticker. So I'm very happy you got me a sticker. There you go. It's going to get slapped on my eint thor next to the JollybeeFried chicken guy. Did you see my plush on my bag now? I did see that, but I didn't remark on it, the ditto.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah. The ditto human. The Pocopia ditto human. How, I mean, we have to do an episode on it probably, but like how fortunate are they, that they have a Pokemon that could become anything? Anything. Yeah. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:54:47 It's really good. Because like the game doesn't work without it. No, it doesn't. You need Ditto. You need Ditto. Who is, I'm on Japanese Twitter a lot. And he is pot. Ditto, she, he, it.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Metaemon in Japan, deeply popular. Yeah. Deeply popular Pokemon. I didn't realize that there was a world of people who love Ditto. Like, first place is Ditto. Which is a strange Pokemon to me to like the most because it's like saying I like all the Pokemon with a weird face. I like all the Pokemon.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm, uh, Ditto has become, like, I'm like, Ditto is Christ. Ditto is Christ. And has come from the apocalypse to save the Pokemon. Ditto is Jesus. It's weird. Remember in the detective Pikachu movie?
Starting point is 00:55:46 when Ditto became the people and the people had the little Ditto eyes. Nasty. Nasty. Right. Did you see Detective Pikachu? Yeah. Good movie.
Starting point is 00:55:57 That film did not shy away from how fucking gross some Pokemon are. The horror of Ditto. Yeah. The horror of Ditto, the horror of Mr. Mime. And then somebody get licked in that? Yeah, somebody gets licked. I would hate that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:11 I would hate that. God, I wish they would just do a straight-up Pokemon movie like Mario or Zelda? Yeah, I wish. I wish. What? I was going to say. We could wish all we want. But ditto in some ways is actually
Starting point is 00:56:29 kind of a spy. I love to hear it. But also, that was something right there, man. That was something. I think we could all agree it was something. It was something. I just want to say,
Starting point is 00:56:45 before we change, I've put in 85 hours on Pocopia. I love it. I'm shocked that I that I'm not sitting where you are. Yeah. I should be there with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:55 And maybe I will. I don't think it's like not like going to happen to me. I just like have been too busy doing all sorts of other games. Right. But I got to get. I will get back in there. Yeah. That's my promise.
Starting point is 00:57:06 I would never sit down to play a video game for 85 hours. Like if you told me, like unless it's a final fantasy game, if you told me. Or like death stranding too. Yeah. branding too, of course. But if you told me, oh, it's an 85-hour game, I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:57:21 I don't have that in me anymore. And this is my segue into the spy games. But-da-da-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba. Hey, buddy, you know, I'm not particularly well-traveled, but I've been thinking, I should expand my horizons.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Maybe see the world beyond this country we call the U.S. of A. From sea to shining sea, they say, but these days the sea doesn't seem all that shining, does it? Seems like the grass might be greener on the other side. And maybe I want to travel someplace. It's an unfamiliar land with an unfamiliar language,
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Starting point is 00:59:50 Can't get enough of the stuff. But here's the thing. We have these things called borders. And those borders lead to legal restrictions on what's accessible in your territory. Well, you know what? I say break down those borders. We're all one people who enjoy content. And one way I do it is with NordVPN.
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Starting point is 01:01:52 We both downloaded and played As much as we could A First Light Yeah And our experiences were very different Yes You Love this game
Starting point is 01:02:06 I'm a big IO interactive fan I got to say Okay Because you like a hitman I love those three hitman games And I think maybe Hitman three
Starting point is 01:02:18 and three is one of the most underrated games of this generation. Wow. I think it's so fucking good. Just the granularity of what you can do, how you can improvise in these games, and how you like... I guess I actually thought a bit like that.
Starting point is 01:02:34 You can't improvise in these games. The games have missions. These Hitman games have missions where they're just kind of like, this is what you have to do. Do it however you want. Go fucking nuts. Right.
Starting point is 01:02:47 Yeah, and there's like, you can kind of just do anything. Right. You can, you know, take out a target. You can just like go straight up to them and escape if you can. Great. You could go in blasting if you want. Or you can be a little cheeky and have a little fun. Put on a bunch of different disguises.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Sneak around, pickpocket, do stuff. And then, or not kill anybody. And I just think that level of, that level of design is just so fun. And I'll say in the first hour or so of First Light of 007 First Light, I think that maybe was missing, leading you to the experience that you had. But once I got past that initial onboarding hump, I'm just in it now. You're in the missions. I'm in the missions.
Starting point is 01:03:37 They've essentially made a TV show that you can play. Right. And now that I'm in missions, there are sort of more, I think there are more. guardrails in this than in a hitman game because they're trying to hit a certain they're trying to tell a certain story but there is still a lot of variability with which how you with how you can take the missions down which is very exciting to me and I love sneaking you love in these games I love this like I think the combat when you can do it is to me reminiscent of like a rock steady Batman or like an uncharted like hand-to-hand combat type thing I like the cover shooting I like but I like and I
Starting point is 01:04:17 also like gadgets. Yeah. Which the gadgets in this game, as you get more of them, are pretty interesting. I have one major complaint. Oh. And it's... Bond's not hot enough? No, I think this guy's very handsome.
Starting point is 01:04:30 And the actor that plays is very handsome, too. He should just be James Bond. Okay. I sort of think the thing about James Bond, and I don't know, I've never read one of these books. I know the people that really love James Bond take it very seriously, and I love that. I think he should be more plain I don't think he should be
Starting point is 01:04:49 one of the most handsome people we've ever seen he's always like the handsomest guy ever Like if you saw a guy one time And it was Pierce Brosnan and you were like Holy shit this guy's fucking hot as hell And then you saw him again wearing a different outfit You'd be like it's that fucking a hot guy Yeah
Starting point is 01:05:05 It's kind of you have to have a sort of bit of like a cognitive dissonance This James Bond has a gigantic scar on his face That would be recognizable in any crowd Right So apparently the scar is from the books. The scars from the books, okay. Harry Potter looking ass. And that my knowledge of Bond, I had a friend who was super, super, super into James Bond.
Starting point is 01:05:27 So I watched all of the movies. Okay. And he would always be like, the thing about Bond and the whole point of Shaken, not stirred is that Bond is not supposed to be suave. He's not supposed to be cool. He's supposed to be a brute. and him wanting his drinks shaken is because he's not classy.
Starting point is 01:05:50 Yeah. And I feel like the movies, you know, sort of tipped away from that through the Pierce-Bronnan era. Yes. When that guy is not a brute, he's like an attractive tuxedo guy. And they split the difference a little bit,
Starting point is 01:06:04 I think, in the Craig one. Yeah, in the Craig era, yeah. He's a little bit fancy, but he's also like a fucking shit kicker. Yeah. I always think about the, there's that part in Casino Royale where he's like tied up, like nude on the chair and they're like whipping him in the balls and he's like laughing in their face because he's like, he's like, when I get out of here, I'm going to tell everybody you scratched my balls for me. I was like, that's fucking, he's crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:30 That bond is an insane man. But he's so, so good. But I, so. If I'd been bond in that situation, I think I'd have been. like, oh, my ball. Fuck! I think it would have been like, hey, you guys, this torture you've devised is extremely psychosexual, and I really think you guys need to all examine why you built this.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Yeah, you guys keep doing this. I might fucking bust. Like, it's, it is so weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there is like a lot of like, yeah. There's a lot of, like, sexuality within the canon. Every villain comes across him is like, we're going to hurt your dick. Well, they're all sort of also like, yeah, with the laser and stuff too.
Starting point is 01:07:19 Yeah. I think that's like the dichotomy between any hero and villain is that even though they're at odds, they would fuck each other kind of. Like they are sort of like, like Sephiroth and Cloud should fuck. Yeah, they're fucking buddies. Yeah, like they, and then like, I don't know, Batman and the Joker. Ew. I mean, you don't want to, but like, they could do it. Ew.
Starting point is 01:07:43 They could do it. Ew. You know, Bradman. Why, you have a bunch of white paint on your pelvis? That's gross. Yeah, why is Alfred looking? What the fuck does he do? He's giving him a sponge bath after being defeated.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Yeah. Oh, man. But so with this game, you know, I do think that a lot of, I haven't played very many James Bond games. The ones that I have played are we did a golden eye episode for this show. Right. And I loved, I never played that game, by the way. And I played it for the show.
Starting point is 01:08:29 So I had no nostalgia for it. And I was like, I don't like this that much. I don't remember what I said on the show, but I don't think of that game as like a game that I love. Right. But I know a lot of people do. I loved the PlayStation 2 James Bond game, everything or nothing, which was like, like a proto uncharted almost where it's James Bond. It's Pierce Brosnan in his final James Bond performance.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Willem Defoe is also in the game. John Cleese is in the game. Heidi Klum. They got a bunch of A-list people for this game. And it is like a, you know, you're not really doing, you're doing sort of sneaking and cover shooting and stuff. It's a third-person shooting game. Right.
Starting point is 01:09:11 But it tells like a Bond story. And it's sort of a continuation of his last. movie. This one is the most stealthy of any of them of the two that I've played has the most stealth which I think is intrinsic to being
Starting point is 01:09:28 a spy. Right. But I want people to know your experience with the game before we talk about any further. So the game comes out this week Yes. And I don't have a ton of time. Heather Ordonam, she always talking about how much she did. She doesn't have time. I'm an adult.
Starting point is 01:09:43 I don't have time to play video games. and when I do, I wish they were on Pocopia. Yes. The only reason I had 85 hours to put into Pocopia is because I got to take plane trips. Yes. But all that being said, don't have a ton of time since the game is launched.
Starting point is 01:10:01 So I download the game the day it's launched. And I play the first two hours of it that night. And if you sit through two hours of a James Bond movie, you see so much shit. Like you see the whole story. You see him do awesome stuff. Yeah, he might like bed three women. Yeah, I don't need to see him walk down a hallway having a conversation with somebody in real time.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Yes. I think that these games have started to make this mistake of like, you know, be James Bond. Nobody wants to be James Bond wiping his ass. Nobody is like, you know. I mean, if they put wiping his ass in the game, I would think that was interesting. Nobody Like nobody wants to do the mechanics of like tying a shoe Yeah in a video game
Starting point is 01:10:55 Because these are the things that we naturally edit out Of our own conscious experience of being alive Yes So why if I'm not going to remember in my real life Walking down a fucking hallway Why are you going to simulate it for me? This is the thing I think You know the art form of video games
Starting point is 01:11:14 Has come so far and it's now cresting into full-on, like, film and television production, right? Because, like, they're getting actual, I mean, you know, this other game that I mentioned had the actors doing it and stuff too. So there's always been actors in these things. But now they're sort of like, what if we made this like an interactive movie where, like, the cutscenes are, I will say, extremely well-acted and like they look gorgeous. It looks fucking great.
Starting point is 01:11:41 Like, if this was, if they were to like edit it down and that was like the movie, I'd be like, this was fucking great. This is awesome. But the thing, like, it's just, it's looking at it from a writer's perspective. It's like if I turned in a script where there are, because it takes, there are times where I'm like, six minutes have gone by as I have been riding in the back of this fucking Jeep on my way to the training center. And we're having a conversation where none of the information is that is particularly interesting. If you were to put that in a script, people would be like, why is there a six minute sequence? were the main character's in the backseat of a Jeep.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Yes. Like all the game needs for me to be great is that it follows the same alacrity as a film. Like edit out the bullshit that I don't need. Like when in no movie would somebody be like, bond your rooms at the end of the hall. And then an over the shoulder camera follows you as you kind of like walk through the apartment. Yeah. Walk into the girls room. Go to your go to your door.
Starting point is 01:12:47 Find out it's locked. Go over to the girl's room. Yeah. Talk to her. Ask her questions because you're like, do I need to know all this stuff about about what she's going to tell me? Yes. No, none of it was important. Can I have my keys?
Starting point is 01:13:05 Then walk into the room. Then be like, wow. Now this is better than a bunk bed. And it's like, dude. I do think that this thing, this games used to be GoldenEye drops you into the game with a gun in your hand and you're in the fore Well right and then this stuff would have happened
Starting point is 01:13:30 Like wouldn't have happened in a game before And like the stuff in between the missions Would be menu screens Yeah right and then like a voiceover It'd be like Q being like okay Bond For this mission we've loaded you out with this this and this and then Moneypenny would be like, and I'll be here.
Starting point is 01:13:46 You know, I got this information. You'd all be voiceover stuff. And then maybe a short cut scene, right? But it wouldn't be like walk around Q lab and look for Q. I got to fucking find this guy. Yeah. Why wouldn't he just be where he should be? Why?
Starting point is 01:14:02 If this is a real place, if I'm going to a meeting with a producer or something, they give me a map at the front gate. And they say, you're going to building 230, go up the second. flight of stairs, it'll be the office on your left. Like, they tell you more in the real world than James Bond is being told in the Q lab. Yeah. And I'm like fucking walking. Or like, also, when you're in the club, you know, you do, you, I love the club.
Starting point is 01:14:30 Club is great. It's gorgeous. But it's like, you've got to meet somebody in the bathroom or you've got to go, like, have a conversation, you find something in a fucking bathroom. Yeah. No club on earth has more poorly marked restroom. Yeah. Then this club.
Starting point is 01:14:46 Yeah. No club is going to hide those restrooms from you the way that this club does. No, no, no, no. Because otherwise people would be pissing on the damn dance for. Right, they would just give up. Yeah. And I was like, where's the fucking bathroom in here? There's also a great club mission in, I think, Hitman 3.
Starting point is 01:15:03 They love the club. They do great stuff with the club. I will say that stuff is a bit annoying. but I can push past it because the gameplay, the gameplay is so fucking good. I'll say that I like about the gameplay. Yeah. You're not punished for not spying or not sneaking.
Starting point is 01:15:26 No. Because you can just handle business. So they're telling me in the training section, go get that flag any means necessary. Yeah. I do a little bit of sneaking because I'm like, if I pop up, they're going to be like, we can see you, bond, start over.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Yeah. I thought that that was going to be it. Oh, yeah. but you blow your cover inevitably somehow. And then you can beat everyone into unconsciousness on the level without being punished for it. Yes. I was hoping there'd be a little bit like not how I would have done it, Bond. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 01:16:04 When you crossed back the way you came because you saw another man and you just wanted to fight him. There's like, I feel like there's a couple scripted moments like that where then you'll get in a fight on your way to something and they'll be like fighting again like stop fighting yeah and I think that stuff is yeah exactly if you I think if you I'm curious if you can avoid seeing the woman in red and just immediately go to your contact and then oh yeah what that scene would be like would he come into the bathroom and it'd be like stop talking to my fucking girlfriend it's such a good placement though because in this thing yeah you get like uh you're at the club you're celebrating with your team of spies.
Starting point is 01:16:45 Right. And you're sort of like, you're at the club. Everybody gets like an in-field assignment. There's something at the club that they actually need to handle. And you're told that your contact is wearing red. And because you're playing James Bond, you're like, well, surely it's going to be some smoke show in a red dress or something. Right.
Starting point is 01:17:05 And that's who you see. And you're like, I'll go talk to her. And it immediately gets you in trouble, which is really good. Yeah. Which is really, really good. I wonder if you can skip that, though. And just go to the guy. And go to the left and see a guy in red and be like,
Starting point is 01:17:17 oh, I'm going to talk to that guy. Or if he doesn't appear until after you've engaged that scene. Or I wonder if there's like, because there's like a couple of dialogue options, not that many, but there's like, you know,
Starting point is 01:17:27 two or something that I always end up picking the one that's like, makes him sound like kind of like a big asshole. I think it's funnier. Yeah. And I wonder if I had picked differently if I still would have had to fight. Like you give her a code phrase and then she's like, What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:17:45 And you have options to be like, suck my dick. Sorry, it has a bunch of white paint all over it. I was previously with the Joker. I'm a spy, darling. Blow me in the club. But then you kick the shit of her boyfriend.
Starting point is 01:18:03 James, stop it, James. Takes the ear out. Things swallows it. I think gadgets are really great. I do. You beat the shit. You fucking basically kill this guy.
Starting point is 01:18:16 You kill a man. Yeah. Like the way he fights, because you can like, you can parry punches and you can hit back and stuff and you can like grab people and just like ram your knee into their like face basically. But you can also, the environment is destructible. Yes. You can slam them into like sinks. So I destroyed every urinal in that room with that man's head.
Starting point is 01:18:38 He's a dead man. If anybody, if any staff walked in, I would have been in big trouble. I destroyed the bathroom. And not in the way I usually do. And then, oh, he said on the way out, don't forget to flush. And I was like, that's good. I kind of forgot that he's funny.
Starting point is 01:18:56 That he can be funny. Is that what he is? I think a lot of the stuff he says is funny. I do think he talks a little too much. He talks too much. I think what he says is... Don't forget to flush is pretty good. Is the language of a psychopath, though.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Like, when I'm controlling bond, And a guy comes in and starts fighting with me. I'm like, because I totally agree with Bond when he's like, hey, man, I'm trained to fight. He says something like, don't do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a totally different power scale that you're about to engage with. Yeah. And the guy's like, fuck you.
Starting point is 01:19:32 I'm going to fuck you up. Yeah. And then you destroy this man. Yeah. He's in the ER for sure. For months. Yeah. That guy is in the ER.
Starting point is 01:19:43 Yeah. If I'm like, oh, shit, like, as I'm beating the shit out of this guy. It's ludonarrative dissonance. When Bond then is like, you know, don't forget to flush. I'm like, meanwhile, those guys jaws off his face. Don't say that to him. Yeah, it's crazy. You need to leave that bathroom and be immediately like, hey, somebody needs to call an ambulance.
Starting point is 01:20:10 And apply pressure here. Yeah. Or he's going to fucking, all the blood is going to rush to his brain until his skull pops. Like, it is no good. No, it's not good. I'm watching this deeply disturbing HBO show by the maker of baby reindeer. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:30 Half man. And it has violence in it that then you see the after effects of. And it's like life ruining violence. Yeah. And all went, I was having like trauma PTSD back to half man while doing the fights in Bond. Because I was like, these men, their lives are ruined by what Bond is doing. Oh, I'm, I'm one good punch from being completely destroyed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Like all he would take is one good one. Yeah. I also, so in the, there's not very many sections because like, you know, you have a license. to kill, but you're not supposed to just go shooting everybody, because I would be insane. That's the main difference between James Bond and Agent 47, who's just like, I'll kill everybody here if I have to. Right. I do, do you know about how far you got?
Starting point is 01:21:29 I got to the end of the club. Okay. I don't know how many hours that is. It might be four, it might be three hours. Because then there's like, I did a little bit more. I'm basically in what would be like my second real mission. Okay. And I've met the, or I've encountered via cutscene the big bad of the game, Lenny Kravitz.
Starting point is 01:21:54 Really? Lenny Kravitz is the main bad guy in the game. What? It's Lenny Kravitz. Are you serious? Are you doing a bit? No, it's Lenny Kravitz. The rock?
Starting point is 01:22:07 I want to get a lot. way he's the he's the bad guy what and in his first scene I gotta say he was really good it's Leonard Cravitz but he oh okay is he playing somebody else
Starting point is 01:22:26 oh he's not Lenny Kravitz in the game oh my god it's Lenny Kravitz okay the actor we were just well musician turned actor I guess I don't know him to be an actor I know him to be an actor I know him to be a
Starting point is 01:22:43 musician. I was about to say I would have thrown my controller at the screen so hard I would have broken my television. No, he plays like a pirate like a leader of these Not like a pirate but like I was like I don't even I can't like I'm it would
Starting point is 01:22:59 You thought that maybe there was a world where Lenny Kravitz is the bad guy? There's been back like Hasn't there been like a final fantasy game where Gantz is the bad guy? Who's Gantz? Like a fuck
Starting point is 01:23:13 rock star guy. I don't know. I don't know about that. Maybe dirge of Cerberus has dance in it? Dirk of Cerberus. I don't know. But no, Lenny Kravitz, I guess, portrays the bad guy, what I should have said.
Starting point is 01:23:27 Okay. And, yeah, I only know him from wearing big scarves and when his pants split open and his dick fell out. One of the funnier things that's ever happened to anybody. I don't care who it happens to. If that happened to anybody, it's immediately funny. Wow, I'm really enjoying this new James Bond game.
Starting point is 01:23:50 I want to look up who this guy is. Whoa! There's a lot of gifts of him for some reason. You run the risk of that if you wear tight leather pants. So he's playing the bad guy. Yeah, I can't remember what his name is, but he's the bad guy, and he looks just like Lane Kravitz because it's him.
Starting point is 01:24:13 But his story is that he, like, he, like, he, uh, Like he became like a pirate And he has this Hour five Yeah Yeah Of the fucking game You finally meet the bad guy
Starting point is 01:24:25 Yeah It'd be like meeting the bad guy In like the third episode of a I guess that was not that crazy You don't want to be the bad guy In the fifth episode It'd be the fifth one yeah It'd be like
Starting point is 01:24:35 It would be like wow I can't believe I watched an entire episode of that guy walking down the hallway I don't need it No but the game I've heard is also a manageable length. It's like 15 hours, which is exactly what I like. Six of which are hallways.
Starting point is 01:24:54 They don't need to be doing. And elevators. And you always have to, whenever you have a meeting with M, you always got to then walk down that hallway, go in the elevator, talk to Q, get your new gadgets. I got to talk about the gadgets just through real quick. Okay, please do. There's a gadget that is like a barf dart.
Starting point is 01:25:12 that like you have like a little dart thing that like you you can use it to distract um you know security guards or like bad guys or whatever and it just immediately makes them sick
Starting point is 01:25:29 and they walk away and they're like oh fuck right but you you get that in training yeah but it's really good I love it's I keep using it even though I've gotten different ones I got like a laser that can either blind people or like break locks there's like a smoke bomb thing that I got
Starting point is 01:25:46 like a flashbang camera there's like really really great stuff and I can't wait to see what the rest of the story is because I'm a little bit further than you so I've already experienced I feel like what was a big story beat for this version of Bond because I honestly was a little skeptical
Starting point is 01:26:03 about young Bond you know because he's 27 or something in this story and you're kind of like okay like I thought it was going to be sort of similar to like how Tom Holland was young Nathan Drake and I was like
Starting point is 01:26:22 oh I don't know if the characters need to be much younger but I think this guy's doing a great job yeah he's doing a great job I like that he's kind of like an arrogant son of a bitch right he's kind of a shithead right um and I the gameplay is
Starting point is 01:26:40 really really great and I know there's not enough of it for you. But once you get into the stuff, like it is a lot of like, a lot of the hitman stuff in those hitman games is walking around and looking in rooms they're not supposed to be in. And right now I'm sort of doing that
Starting point is 01:26:59 in this like pirate area where I'm trying to, part of my mission is I have to procure a certain amount of money to be even close to talking with this guy. Lenny Kravitz. And I'm just kind of like doing, you know, I did have to shoot some people. Right.
Starting point is 01:27:18 I don't think the driving is very good, but also because I've been playing Forza. Right. So compared to driving cars in Forza, the driving in this game is not particularly good. Yeah. But it's fine enough. Right. It's because his whole thing is driving sometimes. Yeah, he loves to drive.
Starting point is 01:27:36 He likes to maybe drive a boat too. I don't know what you call that. You call it driving a boat? Captaining. Captaining. He's a captain. He becomes Captain Bond. He loves Captain Bond.
Starting point is 01:27:48 Piloting a plane. Yep. I haven't had to do that yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if I have to. It's like you're going to get in a helicopter and it'll be like, tell me how this works. And somebody in his earpiece would be like, well, first you have to. He goes, too long, too long. And then he grabs the stick and just you start flying a helicopter. I think the actors are great.
Starting point is 01:28:07 I think that the gameplay is good. I like I like sneaking around. You love sneaking. I love the destructable environments. I like punching somebody and it breaks a wall or knocks down a thing
Starting point is 01:28:20 or shatters a desk. I was... I love that shit. Yeah. There was a mission that I did. I think it's the mission directly after the club. Well, I think you could have also
Starting point is 01:28:29 tackled the club in a couple of different ways. Probably. Like I wonder if we did close to like the same thing basically. But like, because I think there are certain things that they're like you kind of have to do
Starting point is 01:28:40 this thing but like how you get to it is you know is granular right like like when you go into the men's bathroom do you think it's funny to try the room the stalls that clearly have people in them oh I didn't even do that I went straight to the because yeah they tell you the guy tells you
Starting point is 01:28:58 X marks the spot which I will say bad place to hide something yeah yeah also I forgot that instantly which is why I'm a bad spy there was a puzzle that I solved I'm sorry, a what? There's a puzzle in this game? Well, boo. The Hitman games are also kind of like puzzles.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Oh, no. Right? Because you're kind of like, in that, all video games are kind of like puzzles because you have to figure out how you're going to achieve your goal. And in these games, they are very like, hey, you kind of do it however you want. You could take coffee to your room. Yep, you could take coffee to your room.
Starting point is 01:29:35 There was a, what looked like a resonant evil ass puzzle in one of these things that I was like, I don't even know what to fucking do. And then I saw a clip of this other video game show, the people over at Kind of Funny, did the exact same thing that I did
Starting point is 01:29:53 where I just kind of took a guess and was right and was like, what the fuck? It was like six buttons and I just picked three of them that for some reason they made sense to me and they were just happened to be the three right buttons.
Starting point is 01:30:07 I was like, I don't know. I don't understand what the puzzle was but I did it and the guys over at kind of funny I saw a clip of it today actually that they did the exact same thing
Starting point is 01:30:18 I was like oh I wonder if there was like some sort of subliminal thing that I missed or some piece of information that I just didn't think about again when I was doing it yeah I don't know but I'm gonna keep playing it for sure I think it's a really well-made game
Starting point is 01:30:32 and I can't wait to see what happens it's crazy that Bond has a scar even though it's from the books. Yeah. You would recognize that. I agree. I think the scar is a mistake.
Starting point is 01:30:42 Yeah. I know that it's accurate, but I'm like, he's not, but then he can't be a spy. Yeah. You need to, like, look at a guy and see nothing discernible about him. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:52 Maybe he says something clever or charming because he's like using charisma on you, but otherwise, when he goes into the rest of the club, he's got to be a ghost. That's why, like, did you see the movie hitman with Glenn Powell? No.
Starting point is 01:31:05 He wears a lot of disguises and that. He loves disguises and that. loves disguises and movies for some reason. He's also too handsome to be a spy, I think. You'd think he would be like, this guy is kind of like, he stands out. Right. Right. I don't know who would be the best spy.
Starting point is 01:31:21 A spy needs to look like a mid-level manager. It needs to be somebody like, like, honestly, whoever I say it's going to sound mean. Well, here's what I think. I think it's going to be like Steve Carrell. Steve Carrell would be a great spy. A handsome guy. But not like... But not like Jesus fucking Christ.
Starting point is 01:31:40 Right, right. A handsome man. Yeah. Because you don't want to also be distractingly ugly. No. Yeah, you don't want to send a fucking top uggo. Or specific. You don't want to be like Christopher Lloyd where it's like, wow, that guy.
Starting point is 01:31:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to be like a slightly above average regular looking man. Yes. Who can, who has... So like if you're ordering a drink, You're just, you don't think anything of them. No, exactly. That's a perfect one.
Starting point is 01:32:12 You aren't thinking that guy's an hugo. Yeah. And you aren't thinking, what's up with that dude dies? But then here's the thing. Like, Bouchemey can't be a spy. No, Wachin couldn't be a spy. Right, neither of those guys can be spies. They're all too specific looking.
Starting point is 01:32:23 And then you also then have like, you know who would make a great spy actually? Bob Odenkirk. Yeah, Odden Kirk. Because when he does these movies, these action movies, he's like such an unassuming guy. Yeah. Because, like, great. He'd be a great spy. I completely agree.
Starting point is 01:32:40 Yeah. Great spy. It'd be a great spy. This is a fun game. The rock would not be an interesting spy. He's too big. Yeah. No.
Starting point is 01:32:48 Too big. Too big. Too bald. Too big. Too bald. Um, but. So I'm going to keep playing first light. Okay.
Starting point is 01:32:57 I'd be interested to see what happens with you in the game. I'm dropping it. You're dropping it. You're dropping it. Dropping it probably immediately after this record and going to, see if I can build another house from my Pokemon. I do wish that, like, it would have started you off with a little more action. Because that first big set piece is, I think, exciting if you are watching it.
Starting point is 01:33:20 Yeah. Right? But it's not the most, it's a lot of climbing on ledges. And it's like, I was a little worried in the beginning that it was going to be more uncharted and less hitman. But I'm in a more of a hitman spot of it now. So it's that thing of, you know, when you recommend the show like The Wire or something, right? Where you're like, you have to watch eight episodes.
Starting point is 01:33:43 Right. And then it gets really good. You're like, okay, well, like, that's eight hours of a show. Yeah. Before you start to say it gets good. Yeah. This, I, it's getting great reviews, so that leaves me hopeful that it, like, sticks the landing and so that my time within it will be worth the time I'm going to spend in it.
Starting point is 01:34:05 but if it's just not grabbing you right away then there's no reason for you to continue I think yeah but there are other types of spy games yeah you know we mentioned golden eye earlier and I think that is like to me and don't be mad it's not a spy game because it's a shooting game
Starting point is 01:34:23 it's not a spy game it's a shooting game and I don't think James Bond is like shooting all the time kind of guy there are he does do it there are n64 level spy stuff in the game like you have to go get a card from a guy you don't know who the is, you figure it out, you get the card, you go open a door. Like, that's sort of, like, the N64 wasn't exactly like high technology.
Starting point is 01:34:45 It wasn't the time, but it wasn't like, hey, we can simulate an entire man's life inside of here. Yeah. And also, games had not, Shenmoo hadn't come out yet. No. So nobody was thinking, what if this guy just walked around a lot? Yeah, yeah. What if he walked around and then was also hiding too?
Starting point is 01:35:06 Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. So. I don't remember much stealth in everything or nothing, but I do remember that the big thing that they were trying to stop was these terrorists that were trying to use nanotechnology. Oh, no. Very perfect, like early 2000s.
Starting point is 01:35:22 Like, what's our biggest threat? Oh, something we can't even see. Nanotechnology. Yeah. And in the same way this, this game introduces an AI nearly immediately in the story. Yes. And you're like, I've already seen that mission. impossible. Yes, the entity.
Starting point is 01:35:39 The entity. Do you think, have you played Perfect Dark? Is it a spy game? I think it is. I think she's actually a spy. I think it might be a spy thing in particular because I think her gadgets make her a spy. Yeah, she's a spy. She has it because she has the briefcase gun. God, that briefcase gun is so good.
Starting point is 01:36:03 Then you don't have something like that if you're not a spy. Right. Why would you obfuscate what your gun was? Right. There would be no reason to do it. No, you'd bring in the gun and you'd want people to know you had it so they'd run for me. You wouldn't want to be like, actually, I've got a briefcase. And you don't wear a skin-tight leather outfit if you're not a spy?
Starting point is 01:36:22 No. I think. So she's a spy. Are the Assassin's Creed game spy games? In a way, I think so. Because you do, there is not to say every stealth game is a spy game. game, right? But like there is a there is a goal you're working towards while being stealth, while being stealthy. There's a reason for you to be stealthy. It's not just so you don't get in
Starting point is 01:36:53 trouble. It's like you're trying to be covert. You're trying to, you know, ascertain like certain information. So I think I think you could say that those guys are spies. Maybe not so much in like Valhalla because those are viking that's not spy different they and when they tell her you might want to use this hidden blade she's like that would offend my people yes yeah and they're like okay your choice yeah you can just be a big killer if you want yeah that's different the shadows are ninja spies i could maybe argue yeah yeah maybe i could i could Maybe. But the Assassin's Creed games, yes.
Starting point is 01:37:39 Metal Gear. Definite spies, but different. Right? I feel like while James Bond, there is sort of like... They're funnier. They are funnier. Metal Gear games are funny. Yes.
Starting point is 01:37:52 They're comedies. They're absolutely funny. They're really good and really serious and really dramatic, but they are funny. They're equally the best dramas and best comedy. Like, like... The weird shit. Metal gear. The weird shit that Solid Snake does, the snake does in these games.
Starting point is 01:38:13 If Bond did them, you'd be like, what's wrong with this guy? Yeah, if you open your menu in Snake Eater and you eat a rotten snake, and he takes bites out of it, and he goes, oh, yuck. Like, James Bond would never do it. He'd be like, I'm not a fucking idiot. I'm not going to eat a snake with him. flies hovering around it. It's fucking sick green.
Starting point is 01:38:43 It's going to give me fucking diarrhea. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to eat this frog I found. Oh, that's not so bad. He's just guessing. What's anime? That's the thing. He just never knows what anybody's talking about.
Starting point is 01:39:03 He's fucking stupid. But he becomes a big boss. Right. And then clones himself. Maybe he's not so dumb. Right. But I feel like those, like, while James Bond, there is sort of like military stuff like happening usually. I think the espionage in in Metal Gear is typically more like military like based, right?
Starting point is 01:39:30 Right. Like it's not like he's going to put on disguises, but he's not having any fun. So is, so is an aspect of being spy, tuxedo? I think it's like, and not mean like, not literal tuxedo, but like thematic tuxedo. Yes, I think so. I think it is like, there is like some pomp and circumstance to being a spy, right? Right. Right.
Starting point is 01:39:52 Right. It seems a little bit fun. Yeah. Like to, like, even though the stakes are high and like, you know, bad stuff is happening usually. and people are probably going to get hurt, he's like, I'm going to pretend to be a different guy. I'm just going to lie and see how far I get. I think that's like a little bit fun.
Starting point is 01:40:13 And he has his little toys, you know, where like Snake is just like, look, I'll fucking shoot you or not. Right. Now, when I look at this on Wikipedia, pulled up a list of spy games, it redirects to espionage games. Yeah. espionage and spies
Starting point is 01:40:32 is different, I think. I think so too. Yeah. And it makes the argument that Cyberpunk 2077 is an espionage game, which is spy adjacent. There are spy missions in cyberpunk, but it is not a spy
Starting point is 01:40:46 game. And you are not a spy. Because let's define espionage then real quick. Espionage is not necessarily like spy stuff. It is like I feel like
Starting point is 01:41:00 there's such thing as like corporate espionage, right? It's like obfuscating truth in some way or like trying to uncover the truth of like a certain plan through you know, sneaky means. So Wikipedia's
Starting point is 01:41:16 breakdown is... It says exactly what I say? No. Spy fiction is a genre of literature involving espionage as an important context or plot device which then means that Spy games have to be espionage games in order to fall under any umbrella. Right.
Starting point is 01:41:34 Okay. I disagree with it. Because I mean, cyberpunk, I'll say right now, everybody knew what I was doing all the time. If I was a spy, I was really bad at it. But like there's the, the DLC, Phantom Liberty, all that stuff fell under espionage, right? Yeah. Like because there was like political intrigue and things had to be like hush, hush. Right.
Starting point is 01:41:57 This couldn't get out type of thing. That is interesting. There are some games on that list that I really love that I've mentioned in the most recent past when Chavon was on the show. They expect you to die games. These are basically escape room levels where each level is like a different mission
Starting point is 01:42:20 that this spy is on. And they're sort of like a cross between like 60s, 70s, like, retro futuristic type things where you are like a James Bond character and you have a a cue like a money penny type person telling you what the situation is and giving you gadgets and stuff
Starting point is 01:42:41 and it's just locked into one each level is one space and you're trying to just like figure out like how to either stop something from happening or you know like you might do a hack of something or whatever, but there's different items throughout the space that you can use to help you complete your mission.
Starting point is 01:43:07 And they're so fun, but you have to like escape rooms, kind of, and you have to like puzzles because you're just looking around and you're like, okay, well, like, what the fuck? Like, you're wearing a VR helmet, so you're just like in this space and you have a time limit. Like, you know, it could be the difference between like a bomb is going to go off. You have to figure out how the bomb is going to diffuse or like it could be like a gas is going to you know there could be like a play going on or something and there's like a gas that's going to leak into the auditorium. You have to stop it so that the play can continue yourself. These games are so, so fun. And I think low key kind of funny too. I think you would hate it. I think because they're just a little like they're not quite Austin Powersy but like you could get there. Okay. They're on the spectrum of James Bond to Austin Powers. It's not all the way at James Bond.
Starting point is 01:44:07 It might be like two or three notches closer to Austin Powers, but still far away from Austin Powers. Okay. There's nothing like Fat Bastard or Mini Me or Dr. Evil or Goldmember or number two or frow or. or was one of the characters. I was laughing at you acknowledging that what you were doing was naming everybody. I was not laughing, to be clear. I was not laughing at the list.
Starting point is 01:44:39 No, you were laughing at how funny the characters are? I was laughing at you realizing I'm going to do them all because you smiled and kept doing them and then had to break eye contact. Yeah. And that's why I laughed. The list is horrible.
Starting point is 01:44:54 There was a character called a lot of vagina, which is not really anything. It's like octopusy, but a lot of a lot of vagina. Octopussy is why Char's name is Quatro Bagina. Fucking sucks. Char's name is Quatro bagina. Have I not talked to you about this? I think I would remember Char's name being, first of all, first name Quatro. Hold on a sec.
Starting point is 01:45:23 So Char goes undercover when he comes back in Gundam Zeta. And everyone's like... Char's kind of a spy. Yeah, everyone's like, are you... Definitely Char's a spy. They're like, are you Char? And he's like, no. They like straight up, I think, ask him.
Starting point is 01:45:41 Because you look like a guy named Char. And he's like, nope. My name is Quatro Begina. Begina is the phonemes for a vagina. Yeah. I got that. vagina. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:55 So Char is going around and telling people my name is Quatro Vagina. Quatro is such a crazy. Because of Octo Pussy, they were like, let's give him the name Quatro Vigina. I don't know if I'm right on this. Quatro is crazier than vagina, right? That is like, I think Quatro is so crazy. Quatro is an insane name. It's an insane name.
Starting point is 01:46:20 Yeah. But also there. All the names in fucking Gundam are insane names. Well, yeah, Char Asnabal is also an insane name. I guess it's not that crazy if your name is already Char Asnable. There is a spinoff of Ratchit and Clank. There are missions in, I think, Ratcheting Clink up your arsenal where you play as Clink, and he's kind of like a James Bond type thing.
Starting point is 01:46:47 They blow that out, spin it off PSP, Secret Agent Clank. and he's on the cover, wearing a little tuxedo in like a little gear circle. And I just think that's really cute. I think they used to have... Games used to... This is going to sound bad. Okay.
Starting point is 01:47:06 Games used to be really fun. Games still are really fun. Games are still really fun, but they used to do stuff like that. They're like, hey, yeah, this little guy from the big game, we got this PSP, we're going to give him his own little game, and he's going to be just kind of different.
Starting point is 01:47:21 I hear that Yoshi's magical book or whatever is really, really good. And that feels like the thing that you're looking for that fun. Yeah. I'm excited to play this fucking Lego Batman. If fucking Pocopia
Starting point is 01:47:36 wasn't like the dominating force in my motivation to live, maybe I'd give Yoshi a try. Yeah. I just, and I'm good on that right now. I just need to build more buildings for my guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think of what else.
Starting point is 01:47:54 There's, well, go with me on this. Okay, I'm going. The Grand Theft Auto Five guys are not spies. They're not. They're criminals. But heists are kind of spy adjacent, wouldn't you say? It's on the other side of it. You have to do kind of similar stuff.
Starting point is 01:48:10 I mean, I think maybe it is a different genre. It's different completely. I think robbery is different from Spycraft. You can steal something in Spycraft. But your goal as a spy is never, I want the money. I guess I'm just thinking about being sneaky. Yeah. Sneaking can, like you can be the coyote in coyote versus roadrunner and sneak.
Starting point is 01:48:33 Yeah. That doesn't make you a spy. Good luck. Good luck. If you're the coyote and you're trying to sneak around, just know that roadrunner's already 10 steps ahead of you. There's nothing you can do about it. And there was a roadrunner game back in the 90s that they were positioning as like faster than Sonic and it sucked. the game sucked.
Starting point is 01:48:53 You would think it was a no-brainer. You'd be like, oh, of course. Like a platformer? Yeah, it was like a platformer. And it was like, of course the roadrunner is faster than Sonic. If anything on Earth is going to be faster than Sonic the Hedgehog, it's going to be the roadrunner who is cartoonishly fast. He was like invincibly fast.
Starting point is 01:49:09 Who's faster? Sonic, Roadrunner, the Flash. Roadrunner. Roadrunner. Roadrunner, by virtue of having to be funny. He can even stop and still be fast. Right. Like the reason you know the roadrunner is faster than Flash is because if the Flash ran at top speed and got to the finish line, is it funny if the Roadrunner is there and he just goes meep, meep, then therefore the Roadrunner is faster than the Flash.
Starting point is 01:49:40 Meep, that's one of the all-time great burns, I think. I'd be devastated if I was trying my best and all I got was a meet meet. Me? Yeah, it's pretty good. Horrible. There's a couple other, I wrote something down, but I didn't bring my iPad, so I have to look at it in my phone, like a chump.
Starting point is 01:49:59 It's okay. Nobody's mad at you. No, everybody's fucking pissed. I wanted to bring these up because I kind of feel like we can't not talk about them, but I had not really played these games. You have your siphon filters, which I did play a little bit of the first one
Starting point is 01:50:13 way back in the day on the PlayStation 1. Okay. And thought it was cool, but I was too little to understand like what I was supposed to be doing but I thought that it looked cool and had a cool vibe. And Splinter Cell
Starting point is 01:50:27 I never really got into you. I feel like you're either a Splinter Cell person or you're a Metal Gear person and I think I'm a decidedly a Metal Gear person, wouldn't you say? Okay. But don't really those are spy games
Starting point is 01:50:40 and we have to agree on that. Sure. Those are spy games. Sure. You know, I downloaded Well Hang on
Starting point is 01:50:53 I have everything or nothing On my I'm Thor I might give it a spin To see if it's as good as I remember it Yeah why not Because I really really liked it Yeah Are there any other big ones
Starting point is 01:51:06 That were missing I don't agree with cyberpunk Mission Impossible games Oh sure Which I haven't played a ton of Um I mean there are big Spy games
Starting point is 01:51:16 But it's like I have to admit, looking down this enormous list on Wikipedia and of all the sub-lists, it's not a genre that I cross into very often because it's not natural to me to sneak in a video game. So when I see that as like siphon filter or any of them, I don't fucking know Tom Clancy, but like any of those games where the trailer is sneaking, I'm like, ugh, I'm out. I just remembered a game that I have to shout out. What? It's it was one of the very first games I downloaded on the PlayStation store ever
Starting point is 01:51:52 Okay, and it's called Counter Spy and it's a 2.5 D side-scrolling stealth game and you play this like it has this like it looks like this Okay, I picked the smallest picture available fucking asshole idiot God damn it man, why'd you do that? It has it looks like this okay and so it has this sort of like, not comic book aesthetic but it's like this animated like I don't know he kind of looks like the neighborhood watch guy yeah from the signs yeah like that kind of like he's like he's just always in shadow and you have to sort of you progress through the levels by doing spy stuff like sneaking around and like avoiding lasers and things like that and using the environment like you would in a side-scrolling adventure game
Starting point is 01:52:44 and I think it's really, really good. I loved that game. It was like, because I downloaded it on the PlayStation store when I got my PlayStation 4. I was like, I don't have that many games. I got into that, and there's this other, because I had PlayStation Plus, so it was like a game that they offered,
Starting point is 01:53:02 like for the month or whatever. I was like, I'll just try that. I still get every PlayStation Plus game that they offer me because I'm like, well, this is mine. This is my reward. for being such a loyal customer, and you'll take it away from me when I don't subscribe to this anymore.
Starting point is 01:53:18 Right. But for now, this is mine. So I have maybe hundreds of games in my library that I'll never play. Incredible. Because they're not going to do that to me. Before we end this conversation. Yes.
Starting point is 01:53:34 What would you say is your favorite spy game of all time? I'll go first. Okay. With the question of whether or not Perfect Dark is a spy game. and the question of whether Golden Eye is a spy game and the question of whether Metal Gear Solid 2 is a spy game
Starting point is 01:53:50 Of the three of those, I think Metal Gear Solid 2 is the most spy like Yes And so therefore it is my favorite spy game. Matt Apodaca. I mean, for me, I think it's got to be Even though it's a bit more action oriented But there's like plenty of stealth you can do in it But do I like
Starting point is 01:54:15 I was about to say snake eater Because I think Snake Eater is, it's on my top games list of all time. And it was on the list when we redid it too. Yep. But those Hitman games were really, really good. Those three newer Hitman games. I haven't played any of the original ones. Are you about to say the Hitman 3, even though it's not on your top 10 games of all time,
Starting point is 01:54:37 is your favorite spy game above a game that's a spy game in your top 10? I think so. Okay. Which doesn't make sense. That's fine. We're allowed to contradict ourselves. I didn't pick Perfect Dark because of the question of whether it was a spy game, but do I like Perfect Dark more than I like Metal Gear Solid 2? Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:54:57 Yeah. We can make our own rules. We can. I mean, there's just so many great set pieces in Hitman 3. I also remember that being one of the first games on the PlayStation 5 that used the adaptive triggers in what I would say was a scary. way because the first time I fired a gun I had to really pull down on the trigger and I went oh I hated it because it was so like it let you really know that you were doing it that's great and it was it was a scary feeling but I love Agent 47 I think he's a very interesting character and that game is also funny because there's like a you get you wind up in a knife and a knives
Starting point is 01:55:47 that situation. You go into this mansion and I'm trying to figure out who murdered this person and you're just kind of like, I'm here to do some other murdering myself actually. And it's really, it's a really, really good game. I almost would be interested in
Starting point is 01:56:02 what you would think of that game in particular because now it's also become a live service game. So like they've bundled all three of these into one platform and they have new missions added all the time. They just reuse a lot of the same locations and assets and stuff, but they're like, now we have a new, there's a new thing going on in here. And like they'll add like Eminem in Eminem in Eminem is in the game and you can kill Eminem. Okay. Or you can kill. You can kill him in Fortnite too. But you can kill Eminem. There's a Slim Shady and there's an Eminem. You have to team up with Eminem to kill Slim Shady.
Starting point is 01:56:40 There's a Slim Shady and an Eminem in Fortnite. I don't know what. What a strange thing for him. You could also kill... They bring in the character that Mads Mikkelson's played in Casino Royale and he's just in the game now. Wow.
Starting point is 01:56:56 And you can kill him. He's the same guy. Wow. And then they had like Connor McGregor or some shit. Like they always add like people like that to it too. So it's like they have their own weird little like Fortnite of real
Starting point is 01:57:10 people you can kill. Which is very, very crazy. Very good. I have the discreetest. if you want to borrow it to see if you would like it. I'm good. I wish I bought this on disc, but I guess the benefit of downloading it
Starting point is 01:57:31 was that I was able to play it a couple of days early. And it has to be always online anyway. No, it doesn't. No, because I had my internet out when I was playing and you don't have to be online. Okay. It just encourages it. Okay, I see.
Starting point is 01:57:45 Oh, yeah, because it always, I'll say the thing that I find annoying about that. is that when it disconnects, it stops everything and it's like, hey, you're not online anymore. Do you want to reconnect or not? I might as well not do it. What's the benefit to being online while you're playing the solo game? I don't know. It's not like persona where it's like polling everybody's ever played the game.
Starting point is 01:58:07 Or like Death Stranding or Eldon Ring or something. Right. It's as far as I can tell, just the game. I've been thinking about playing Eldon Ring again. Good for you. But when will I do it? I saw blind boxes. for Dark Souls, and it made me want to play
Starting point is 01:58:22 a FromSoft game. Oh, maybe instead of doing Eldon Ring again, I could do the PS5 Demon Souls. Oh, yeah, there you go. Bloodborn, I am interested in, but I just kind of like, I feel like I know they're gonna, they're gonna make it new.
Starting point is 01:58:39 Yeah, they'll probably make it new. You do Demon Souls. We'll do Demon Souls. So the world might be mended. So the world might be mended. We just did that for us. We did the little thing that they do. The circle.
Starting point is 01:58:53 The circle. You know what it is. I do that to my wife so much. My wife will still do this thing. There was this trend. I brought it up on the show two years ago maybe or something. There was this trend on TikTok or something where spouses who are not playing Eldon Ring would walk into a room and say Erd Tree's blessing to them and then film the reaction of the person and be like, Wait, why do you know that?
Starting point is 01:59:21 Like, what are you talking about? And she tried to do it to me after I had seen those. I was like, I know that you're doing the thing that people are, and she was just like, I didn't tell me that she didn't know what I was talking about. She's like, I'm just saying it. And I was like, no. And so she'll still hit me with an earth tree's blessing every now. That's great.
Starting point is 01:59:37 Really, really, really funny. Like, if I like finish a big assignment or something and I'm like, that I've been working on for forever, I'll run downstairs and I'll walk around the corner and my wife will look at me and I'll just go into the circle and she'll know that I'm done. Hell yes. Shall we do a segment? Yeah. It's time for our Would You Rather segment?
Starting point is 02:00:04 Would you Blathers? Spy edition. I can't wait. It's the skyfall. The song at the beginning of this game is Lana Del Rey. And it's really good. And it's all about whether or not you want to play a game. And I was like, yes, I really would like to play in the fucking game.
Starting point is 02:00:29 Will you please let me play this game? I think I would, actually. It's would you blathers spy edition. So I have some spy video game, Would You Rather Question? Okay. Ranch you can play along too. Would you blathers have James Bond's charm and gadgets or solid snakes, combat instincts and survival skills.
Starting point is 02:00:51 Kind of interesting. I know my answer. I'll just tell you what mine is first. Give me them gadgets. I love gadgets. I'm mostly interested in the charm. Try that on to you. Yeah, I just want to be like,
Starting point is 02:01:05 wouldn't it be great to like walk around being super charming? It would be so awesome to go everywhere. Everyone's like, I love this guy. That's awesome. Yeah. Ranch, how about you? Charm and gadgets or survival skills in combat? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:22 Survival skills and combat so I can go on Survivor. Oh, good answer. Nice. But? Charm would also get you on Survivor. That's true. You can't bring your gadgets. You can't bring your gadgets.
Starting point is 02:01:34 If you maxed out charm, you would probably win Survivor. Yeah. Didn't you used to be able to bring stuff? You could bring like a thing before? I think you'd bring one thing. Now you can't do it. Not like a tool. Now you can't bring like the...
Starting point is 02:01:46 The barf dart. No. Barf dart. You asked your charm. I think it's charm and gadgets. Charm, charm, survival. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 02:01:58 Would you blathers fight the end in a week-long sniper duel, the end, the old man sniper guy from Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater, or eliminate a target in the hitman universe without using any disguises. I don't want to do anything for a week.
Starting point is 02:02:24 That's my cutoff. It's hit man without disguises because the idea of being in a snit. I would die on day two from stress. Yeah, it would be an absolute nightmare. I would have a heart attack from stress. Because while the idea is waiting him out the week, he's going to die because he's so old.
Starting point is 02:02:42 But day six, he's still pretty good at sniping people. I think But the fun of being a hitman to me Would be wearing the disguises So I think I'm gonna go I'm gonna go fight the end I've seen TikTok playthrus of hitman levels Where like people are like fucking
Starting point is 02:03:01 Throwing a frying pan at a guy who goes And then they just shoot him in their head Like all that stuff looks great It's pretty good It's really really fun Ranch how about you Hitman or fighting an old man in a forest And he's a sniper
Starting point is 02:03:16 and it could take you a week. Oh, you're in a forest. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Because, yeah, the other thing is, there's stuff in the forests that can get you, too, I guess. No way. So maybe three no disguises would be what we answer here.
Starting point is 02:03:34 Okay, would you blathers? Another disguises question. Here we go. Would you bladders have to rely on only disguises or only stealth camouflage? And we can agree those are different. only disguises or stealth camouflage. I, so the reason I would go stealth camo
Starting point is 02:03:52 is because I don't like this sound. And that's usually what you hear inside of a mask. So you're going to wear like a Ryan Gosling and drive, like full, like realistic masks. Yeah. Or whatever that guy on the news thing was. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to wear those masks.
Starting point is 02:04:13 No, no. And I think regular disguise, I'd be too scared. I'd be like, they know who I am. they know who I am, they know who I am. So I'd have to go full latex, and then I would just hear my own breath and hot. You'd be like the Tim Robinson character. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:04:27 I don't want to be around anymore. I don't want to be around anymore. I do think... The character. There's only... I do think that there's only so much you can do to disguise yourself, though. That that sketch is about a character. He's being a guy.
Starting point is 02:04:47 He is being a guy. I guess character sort of implies that there's like a game to that that is refillable you know what I mean like that we would see him again like he's like the unfrozen caveman lawyer it's not a refillable bit
Starting point is 02:05:06 no it's a hundred percent single use it's such a good fucking bit man it's so funny it's one of the best bits of all time I think so I don't want to be around
Starting point is 02:05:22 I do think if I was wearing a disguise you would know it was me immediately. One, I'm horrible at voices. Okay. Two. That's not true. I've heard you do a really good Joel.
Starting point is 02:05:34 No, that's when Joel comes here. Oh, right, when Joel is here. You think it's me. I thought it was you because he was standing so close to you. Yeah, yeah. No, but I also, I feel like I would if you were in a disguise, or if any of us were in a disguise,
Starting point is 02:05:54 a disguise. I think maybe not ranch because ranch is shifty, but I think I could just recognize you
Starting point is 02:06:01 by the walk. Right. I think by just how you move around. Yeah. Ficked. Ranch would trick me. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:06:10 Ranch is a natural sneaking. Yeah. To be fair, ranch's default walking around is always like this. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:06:17 Like that mouse trying to get past a cat. Like the Burger King King. Yeah. Ranch, what's your answer to this? Camo or disguises?
Starting point is 02:06:28 I think disguises would be fun. Oh, man. Exactly what I thought you'd say. They'd be hot. He's so hot. What's the funniest disguise, you think? Of all time? I mean, it's the turtle guy.
Starting point is 02:06:40 I think it's, I think it's, I think it's Dungeons and Dragons the movie where he disguises, like, he has a decoy disguise. Oh, yeah, and he starts to, like, malfunction and, like, Melt. That movie is so fucking funny and really, really good. And Chris Pine, Loki, good in comedy stuff. He should be doing, he could do it all. Yeah. It is nobody's fault that that film didn't, like, wasn't a multi-hundred million dollar hit.
Starting point is 02:07:09 It's so good. There should have been by now two more of them. Yeah. We should be seeing those guys. Yeah, absolutely. Would you blathers be trapped in a deadly escape room in the same way that you would be in a, I expect you to die type situation? or be stuck on Arsenal gear during the AI meltdown sequence. Oh, no.
Starting point is 02:07:30 These are both bad. I don't like either of these. That's why it's a wood you blathers. Be stuck in a room or on a fucking robot. I'll tell you what. I like my odds in the escape room. I don't like my odds on the robot. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:07:46 While the robot is escapable, or you know, you can end that whole thing. I'm not trusting myself to take that thing down. You put me in an escape room, I kind of think I could do an escape room by myself. Yeah, I guess the chances of me handling Arsenal gear is 0%. The chances of me getting out of an escape room is 1%. So I'll take the 1%. I think you could do an escape room. You hate puzzles, though.
Starting point is 02:08:11 I hate that. You would just be so upset that you would just let the gas fill the room. Ranch, what about you? You kind of seem like an escape room fan. I love escape rooms. And I do think the stakes should be higher in an escape room. You think so you would thrive in a jigsaw situation But beside you, you will see a saw.
Starting point is 02:08:35 Ma'am, ma'am, stop. Hold on, I haven't given you the instructions, ma'am. Ma'am, stop killing that, man. I haven't even sewn the key into your stomach yet. Stop, stop. Stop, stop. He's dead. He's dead. Please stop. Hey, lady, you're scaring me. I'm just a little guy on a bike.
Starting point is 02:08:58 The puppet's him. It's not the old guy. Yeah, I think I feel like, have you done an escape room recently? I feel like that maybe came up not long ago. I did. I made my friends do an escape room on my birthday. Did you get upset?
Starting point is 02:09:14 How do you, how do you fan of a situation like that? I'm usually running around kind of maybe helping, maybe not. I told this story on the show once. think I did an escape room with some friends and it was like a horror themed one but it was a gas situation we did not make it out which is a big bummer because I think it costs like 40 or something and I was like if I'm paying I kind of want to fucking win right right there was a key and like there was a there was a key that unlocked a side room and it had like a nasty shitty toilet in it and had like fake diarrhea in the toilet or whatever and uh there was like a woman chained
Starting point is 02:09:57 up in there and she was kind of like out like she was out of it so she was like kind of just like mumbling you couldn't really hear what she was saying um but she would then like gesture to the toilet and i was like oh i think there's a key in the toilet i don't want to reach in the toilet it's so gross and so there was a plunger by the toilet so i used like the handle end to sort of like fished the key out and I got it. And then the first audible thing she said was she called me a pussy. I've not done a ton of escape rooms. The last one I did, though, I went and I was like, it was with a group of girls and I was
Starting point is 02:10:36 like, I'm not a help. I don't give, I don't know. They'd be like, what do you think about these tiles? What order? And I'd be like, I have no fucking idea what the tiles are. What do you do? And the last bit of the escape room was that there was a long hallway
Starting point is 02:10:53 that you couldn't see that had a key at the end of the hallway and you had a remote with a camera on it and you had to drive a remote control car down the hallway and hook up the key and then drive it back to you. And everyone looked at me and I went
Starting point is 02:11:09 I fucking got this guys. It was like getting to play a video game in the middle of the thing, got the key, brought it back, First try, and they were like, yay! That rocks. It's fun when you get to show out for like the thing that you know you can do. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:11:25 But for all the other puzzle parts of the thing, I was like, I'm lost. I have no idea. I think because now I have this resident evil brain, I can just like solve little environmental puzzles, I think. I think I can do it. Anyway, that was Would You Blathers. That was this week's Get Played. I kind of wish. Kind of wish what?
Starting point is 02:11:41 I kind of wish I did a better job. You did a great job, Matt. This is a great episode. You did a great job. We're tired because we work hard and we're living life. We work hard, but we also play hard, don't we? We do, we do. Can you wrap it up so I can go take care of my Pokemon, please?
Starting point is 02:11:58 I can't wait to get back to the James Bond game. That's this week's get played. Our show is produced and engineered by Rochelle Chen Ranch, Yard underscore Sard on social media and Twitch. You stream in Ranch? Here and there. Here and there. Ranch busy too, working hard and also playing hard.
Starting point is 02:12:12 We're all working hard and we're playing hard. You got a rise and grind, by the way. You just have to do it. I don't make the rules. If you want to be a person in this society, you better wake up and start grinding. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:12:29 Early bird type shit, you know? Early bird. Early shrimp gets the scampy. Early shrimp gets the scampy. That's right. Ranch gets it because she's always doing it, rising and grinding. Working hard and playing hard.
Starting point is 02:12:40 Our show's music is by Ben Prunty. Ben Pruntymusic.com, and our show's art is by Duck Brigade Design. DuckBrigade Design.com. And check out our merch, hats, shirts, and more at kinshipgoods.com. And you know what? Why don't you check out our Patreon? Patreon.com slash get played for ad-free main feed episodes and our complete back catalog, including how did this get played episodes and our premium DLC episodes.
Starting point is 02:13:05 And our new show, Get Played DLC, where we're doing this week, Heather and I are talking about handhelds and we're ranking them in a little tier list. And let me tell you. There's a lot of handhelds. There's a lot of handhelds. And I don't think we argued that much. We didn't. No.
Starting point is 02:13:25 But we did disagree. The only way you can know whether or not we disagreed on whether or not the virtual boy is a handheld is to listen to Get Played DLC. That's right. And that'll do it for this week's Get Played. Until next time. You know who got played? I think it was Nick.
Starting point is 02:13:43 I think it was Nick, but it might have been James Bond. It could have been James Bond. It might have been James Bond. It might have been Q. It might have been... It was Nick. It was Nick, I think. Sorry, Nick.
Starting point is 02:13:55 That was a Hidgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast. That was us now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:14:08 From our show, This is us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh?
Starting point is 02:14:22 A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.

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