Get Played - 35 Years of Sonic the Hedgehog

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Heather, Nick and Matt discuss the history of Sonic the Hedgehog as the blue blur celebrates 35 years! Check out our merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hey, team. So this week, it's the 35th anniversary of Sonic the Hedgehog. That's right, yeah. You know what that means. Sonic's 35. It's officially eligible, according to the Constitution, to run for president of the United States.

Oh, my God. Our campaign is fucked. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? This is how you bring that news into this office? Well, I'm just saying we should address the reality of Sonic the Hedgehog can legally run for president. Matt's numbers are on the line as it is.

If he has to run against that son of a bitch, Sonic the Hedgehog, this campaign is over. And when you really stop and think about it, I don't want to run against him no matter how you slice it. He's much faster than me and he's a much more compelling candidate than I am. We need to make sure that we get dirt on this son of a bitch. I need you to find images. I need you to find behind the scenes photos. I need you to find any, any, kind of comprot? Is that what it's called? Compromot?

Compromot? Yeah. Let me look for that. I'll look for... Did me some compromise. Sonic the Hedgehog sex. Put that into Google images. Here we go. Oh my God. This is outrageous. No, he's, yeah. Oh my God. I can't believe all the seedy things he's doing. I don't know that we can necessarily take him down for birthing Shrek's baby. You know, that's not something that that's not that kind of campaign I'm trying to write. Matt, I understand. I understand that you're trying to take the high road here, but this guy is already at plus 15 in Ohio just because of his love of chili dogs. Yeah.

Like, I need an angle here, man. If you want me to be a campaign manager, I need to know where I can hit this guy and how hard I can hit him. I just, I realize I also love chili dogs. That's a really, uh. Nick, you're not helping. No, I just like I'm thinking about it, it's be kind of cool to have a president who really loves chili dogs.

No, it'll be, that's the thing. It would be awesome. And I, I hear, and I just kind of think they're okay. And that's not, I can't really run on that. You know, it's a little wishy-wash. Yeah, it seems like kind of like whatever. You think they're okay. And Sonic over here, it's like his favorite food.

Yeah, he's fucking deep-throating them every single day. And the only thing hotter than tails, I mean, I'm fucking, I'm on board. I'm honestly, I'll be honest, I'm defecting. What? What do you mean you're defecting? You're defecting? Yeah, I mean, like, you know, you get off the sink and ship and get bet on the winning horse. If I can mix some metaphors.

Can I be honest? Mm-hmm. The thing, the thing that I'm most worried about, it's getting to the getting to voting day. Yes. Getting, because you know,

I get to vote also. Yes, I get to vote for myself. It's good that you know that as a candidate. I also get to vote. Yeah. I'm worried that I might accidentally bubble in Sonic because I like him so much.

Yeah, he's kind of a great guy. It's a big issue. It's like that Simpsons episode where everyone, you know, Bart doesn't vote for himself. Yeah.

Yeah. We have been running this campaign nonstop for two and a half years. This is not just a drop in a bucket. This is a long-term process. Matt, you've been groomed since Princeton, and before that, the CIA targeted your family to try and raise the ideal presidential candidate, and you're telling me you're going to throw it in the ring for a guy that I have on record fucking the Power Puff girls while shitting a dog. Think of all those hazing rituals

you endured to join the Skull and Bones Club. I know. They soat the tip of my penis. shut. What? This is what Ivy League fraternal organizations do. It's sick shit. It's like the Harvard Lampoon breaking place.

For the cleaning staff. Is that what your eyes are sloshing in yellow? Yeah, exactly. You can't take a piss, man. No, I think this is more important. We have to really figure out what we're going to do. All this talk about...

No, you got to get those sutures undone. Go take a piss. What are you doing? No, it's okay. It's Everyone's Dick tip is the size of a grapefruit, right? No.

No. And finding out that this has been an issue for you since college, I think you know what? I think Sonic has my vote too. Yeah, yeah. Hey, hi, is this Charmy B campaign manager for Sonic the Hedgehog?

Hey, how's it going? Yeah, Sonic 2028. Anyway, I got some dirt on Matt Apodaca. Get this. His penis is sealed shut. Yeah, I can hold. We

Sega and as we celebrate 35 years of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise this week on Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played.

I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Tiger Weiger. That's me, Dick Tiger Weiger, here with our third host, Mr. Games, the Xbox kid, the franchise, the finisher, Matt Upadaka. Hello, everyone, got to go fast. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premiere video game podcast where this week we are celebrating 35 years of the blue... Blur? Blur?

Nemis? Blue, what? Blue Blur, I think. Blue Blur? Yeah, because Blue Bomber's Mega Man. Blue Bomber's Mega Man. He's the Blue Bluer. Of the blue?

He's your guy. He's your guy. He's not, he's our guy. He's our, this week he's our guy. He's the man of the people. Yeah, he really is in a lot of ways, the man of the people. Mario is the bourgeoisie, bourgeoisie at this point. Yeah.

He's got the big movies. He's got billion dollar box offices. Wait, hang on. What? Sonic's got the big movies too. Sonic does it are the big movies. That's true. Sam's got the better movies.

So I guess maybe they're just like, they're all like the aristocrats to us. They're sort of maybe, look, they're either way. They're on either coasts, and they're the coastal elite. Yep, that's true. I typed blue blur into a search engine. The blue blur, one of, uh, Blue Blur rather, is one of Sonic the Hedgehog's most famous nicknames. Oh, he's the blue blur.

Yeah. Used by Sega itself. Other common sonic nicknames include the fastest thing alive. That's pretty good. The fastest hedgehog in the world and the hero of Mobius. The fastest thing alive is the, is the, the song hook for the Saturday morning cartoon. There you go. Yeah.

He's the fastest thing alive. I'm going to need you to do a little more digging into the hero of Mobius. I believe that's also the planet from the Saturday morning cartoon. Yes. Yeah. I think it's a reference to the that war. I forget that he's, I guess, technically an alien. Sonic?

Yeah. Right. Well, the Saturday morning cartoon that starred Jaliel White took place in an alternate. Did I go fast? Nice. It took place in an alternate canon. where like Big the Cat and stuff weren't there, but there was like a rebellion of animals

trying to fight Dr. Robotnik. Mobius is only used in Western media. And it apparently originated yes in the Sonic the Hedgehog animated series and was also used in the Archie Comics, Archie Sonic the Hedgehog comics. But in Japanese games it is not used. Do we think, I think I've always thought this

but I hadn't really made a connection. Felix the cat has some sort of You can There's like a he's like a sort of proto sonic in a way He's not fast or anything but he's kind of similar You mean like visually? Visually kind of similar I just don't know his personality at all

No I see him as because he's public domain I see him as a you know mascot on like Exterminator trucks and shit Yeah or like a car wash or something Yeah car watch but I have no idea what the What the Fuggy actually does? What does Felix do? Does anyone know? There was a movie that was a Felix of the Cat

that Felix the Cat when I was a kid animated movie that I quite enjoyed, but I don't know if it's actually any good. In Los Angeles, I feel like he sells cards. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, he's on signage all over the place. Yeah. He's sort of Cat Calvin.

He's kind of Cat Calvin. He's kind of Cat Calvin. That's a good way to think about it. Guys, except he's not pizzen. I feel like I should call out because we might have video clips of this episode. Yes. One of my hands is stained blue from a pen that exploded in my hand, but it also looked like Sonic came all over me.

Yeah. Don't get Nick wound up on this. Cumb famously the same color as flesh. You have blue fur, you have blue cum. We know the logic works. Smurfs have blue cum. And the truth is, Shrek has green cum. I only said it so that you guys wouldn't say it.

I would never say that to you. I would not. Oh, really? I would not. Yeah. I would not be so crass as to suggest that you jacked off Sonnet. That you used one of his ring. as a cockering?

What are we talking about? I never say that shit. Speaking of visual elements that we should address because the possibility, not probability, but possibility of video clips from this audio podcast,

our producer, Rochelle Chan, Ranch, R.C., Royal Crown, got us some new shirts, a triptitch of teas that all have tie-ins that are all related.

Ranch, thank you so much. This is also, these also match your fit, which I think I think you got the best one. Same artist. Same artist. I noticed Ranch is right away.

I read it and then Ranch goes, I got something for you guys. And then presented us all with a shirt. That sort of matches our vibes. Yeah, can everyone read their shirt? We'll start with Ranch and then we'll go to Heather and go. Oh, end with me. My shirt is, it's a lobster with rubber bands on its claws and it says,

I wish to be free from the shackles that bind me, which is what we also know as society. Yeah. Very good. It's sort of an apt metaphor for Ranch working on this show. It's really good, really good. Ranch got me a shirt that shows a pigeon, and in Japanese it says pain and suffering, and in English it says anguish.

And then, yeah, mine is a turtle. I love turtles. I'm not that kid. I'm not the I love turtles kid or anything. But anytime I see it, I'd like to count turtles if I know I'm going to see a lot. I like to see how many I'll see it one time. That's fun. And I won't dig into why.

Yeah. I'll try to unpack that. And it says, I got that dog in me. And as Heather observed, the, the kanji and the kana that is on there accompanying the English text literally translates to there there is a dog inside me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Within me. Inside me, there is a dog. Inside me, there is a dog.

Inside me, there is a dog. Poetic, beautiful. Mine also, my shirt also has, I believe, is this a pigeon? It's a different kind of bird. Looks like a pigeon to me. Looks like a pigeon. And then in no Japanese texts, in English, all caps, it just says, I may be dumb. So thank you, Rochelle.

And yours also has like a kind of like a... Junji Ito? Yeah, sort of Junji Ito quality, a little bit of an Uzumaki, if you will. A little spiral into madness in the background. I like them. I like them. a lot. I think it's great. Do you know the artist's name? Yeah, the artist is named

Himawari Keep. Wow. And they have cited their inspirations as World of Horror, Eldon Ring, and Sunless Sea. Nice. Okay, very cool stuff. And also, a light t-shirt. A nice light tea for the summer. Despite the black color, it is a nice, good weight to it. Yeah, thin but high softness. Yeah, I like the shirt. Doesn't make me look fat, which is

always a concern with T-shirts? Oh. We were always, you're always getting like a big stuffed shirt. Yeah, that's part of it. Look, it's partly a skill issue on my part. Yeah, yeah, you're always, you shopped at the clumps warehouse? Yeah. Guys, we also have not just gifts from ranch. I'm clumped now, he said.

But we did get a gift, another gift sent to the studio. I should probably open it here at the top of the episode, in case it informs everything that comes after. Open that some bitch. And so I've opened a package recently. Nick has opened the package and we've done a bad job. Let's see how Heather does with opening this package. Heather is doing the Open a Package Challenge.

Yeah. So far. So far, seems to be doing a very good job. She's absolutely crushing it. Using a scissors properly. Don't think this is an egg. Don't think this is an egg. Don't think this is an egg. Doing a great job.

Okay. Okay. Three precise cuts. Three sutures. And the box is open. Like a surgeon. Okay. All right.

So that's how you open a box. You fucking maniacs. To the host of Get Played, thank you all for being one of my favorite podcasts, bringing countless hours of entertainment and information to this old man trying to keep his finger on the video game and anime pulse. Part of planning my first trip to Japan was to find something I could get each of you as a way to show my appreciation gratitude for what you do.

Sorry, Ranch, I didn't know what to get you, but if you want to throw out suggestions, I can make amends. I found figures for each of you, Heather Nick and Matt, for an anime you like. Heather, it was strangely difficult to find anything Evangelian that wasn't either Aska or Ray, so I pivoted to Gundam. Thank you all for the laughs and hopefully to many more, all right? So to Matt, it's Goku. Wow!

Look at it's Goku! Look at that. That's a good-looking figure. That's a nice figure. It's of Goku. For Nick, power. Wow. Power.

I love it. And for Heather, Charles. Asnobal. Wow. Wow. A.k.a. Quadro vagina. Quatro.

You know what's great about the shrink wrap on this? I can kiss it all I like without smudging. It's disgusting to me. Wow. This char has multiple expressions that you can change them to. Very cool. I have a char asinable figure that is not this one. Who has a coffee cup?

Casual char, starting his day. Just woke up, don't talk to me until I had my coffee char. I love it. This is great. Thank you so much. Very nice. Sean Saki-Mai sent that in, right? I know Sean from the Discord.

Wow. Thanks so much, Sean. Lovely. Thanks, Sean. Oh, man, he's got a thinking pose, like the thumb on the chin. You got to put that one in. I wish I had one of those. Yeah.

Man, this is, I can't wait to tear this open. This is great. Thank you so much. I love this more than anything. Yeah, this is so. So nice. Thank you. Should we now try to open these boxes? Yeah, a new challenge has unfolded in front of our very eyes.

Let's hold on this, but I do have something speaking of gifts that are being distributed from fans. A few weeks prior, I mentioned that on the road for my dough boys tour in the South, a fan in Hotlanta gave us each, again, Ranch Excluded. I don't know what's going on here. Ranch is getting pops at the shows, though. Branch is getting pops of the shows. So I'm like, we're not even our podcast.

It's a different podcast. I'm saying like our get play producer, Ranch and people are cheering. So like people, people, you know, the people love Ranch, but... Get played with the cider ranch? Very good. We got some Magic the Gathering cards

and I'm going to distro these to each of you. Wow. I'm handing these over. That one is for you, Matt, and very appropriately on theme for today and that one is for you another, and that I believe is a foil. Wow. So I have myself a Tifa Lockhart.

This is a legendary creature, a human monk, trample ability. Is this a viable card ranch as the MTG player? Do you know? Yeah, I think you could definitely play her as your commander and build the deck around her. Wow. That's awesome. I may end up doing that. And, hey, again, great thing about the card sleeve, smooch it all you like.

Okay, great. So Nick got two gifts he can jack off to. and so far, so have I. I got a card that is called Power Sneakers, and it is an artifact, and it says, Equipped Creature has haste and shroud, and the quote on the card

will give you an idea of who the Power Sneaker belongs to. I'll show you what True Speed really is, Dash, Sonic the Hedgehog. Wow. He's got some nice. shoes. He does. He does. A detail I was going to save for later in the show, but I'm prompted now to share that they are based on Michael Jackson's red shoes from the bad album cover.

Very cool. He-he. And cover that in Michael. I guess that's part of like when his story continues that they'll probably get into it. Yeah, that's probably, they're going to do a second movie just for that. Yeah, yeah. And don't forget the time I meant Bart. I got Gile Sonic Soldier. also Sonic themed legendary creature, human soldier whenever guile

Sonic Soldier enters the battlefield or attacks put a charge counter on him or remove one from him when you remove a counter this way choose either Sonic Boom or Flash kicks it is a beautiful

Thore car art is awesome You know I recently saw Such generosity from our fans Our listeners are really sweet Thank you so much The gifts are never required or warranted

Or even We're not even worthy of them but we always appreciate the moment. Yeah, super great. Very nice. Thank you so. I am worthy of a char figure, so please send me more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll also take whatever it's trying to throw away. Yeah, there's anything you think I might want to jack off. Feel free to send it to the head gum mailbox. I recently saw a preview for the new Street Fighter movie. Now, I didn't rush out to see Mortal Kombat 2. I missed it. I don't even think it's in theaters anymore.

I'll catch it on HBO Max like I did the first one, I guess. The trailer for the new Street Fighter kind of made it look like it was. gonna be really fun. Yeah. I think it might be fun. It kind of looks like it's gonna be good. It's just insane. It looked so crazy.

It's like they just were like, I don't know, let's make him look exactly like he looks in the game. Well, and who's the wrestler that is Gile? It is Cody Rose. He looks fucking awesome in the movie. I mean, everybody looks really cool. Yeah, he just looks straight up like Gile.

Yeah, it just looks like it's a lot. It looks like it's gonna be a lot of fun. So I hope I think I will make an effort to go see that when it's out. Me too. The director, Katao Sakurai, directed a lot of the action, the action episodes of of twisted metal, which has the, you know, the best action pretty much on television. Yeah.

At least it did for the first two seasons, no studio, no stream. No stew, no stream. But the, but it's like the dude knows how to direct action. Yeah, and it looks like it's just nonstop punching. Yeah, I also like that we're so far like back. in the 90s when they were doing these adaptations, they were like, well, of course the Super Mario brothers can't like be stomping on turtles and collecting coins. What are we talking about? We've got to make sure, make this grounded. Give them some mechanical boots that enables them to jump,

you know, make Bowser Dennis Hopper just a guy. Like every single, every single decision was towards ratcheting away from what's interesting about the IP because they thought audiences would think it was too weird. Same thing with the original street fighter movie. Yes. The live action one I mean, not the anime, which is pretty great. Yeah. But the live action one where they have Jean-Claude Van Dam, famously not American, playing guile, and then just like really bears no resemblance to him whatsoever. And E. Honda is just like a cameraman in his news crew. I wonder.

Or no, in Chun Lee's news crew, Chunn Lee's a reporter. That's right. Do you think that as attention spans have dwindled over time, the need for. for any sort of like artifice for that they're needing to be like a story for an adaptation like this has gone out the window. And they're just sort of like, let's just give them like the thing that they already know that they like. I think it's more of a generational shift in the executives. I think that, you know, in the 80s, the people in charge of the Super Mario Brothers movie weren't gamers. And now these execs are gamers.

And I think that because of that, movies like Sonic and movies like, Mario can just be the thing. Great. You know, Sonic's got, Sonic is fucking fighting. Knuckles. Like, it's just like. Yeah, Knuckles has a gun. Yeah.

Well, what, not knuckles. Knuckles don't have a gun. Not Knuckles. Shadow had a gun. Shadow is a gun. Yeah. Like, it's just like the game is the thing. Right.

And I feel like the next transition phase for Hollywood will be that gamers came before anime in the States. And I think that once there is another shift, you'll get to see one to one one adaptations like one piece of anime. And I think that that's a really exciting time too. I love it. Yeah, I think that's that's well said, Heather. I mean, like, yeah, to your point, it's interesting to think about back in like the

90s, even in the early odds, it was like like an executive, someone who was empowered in Hollywood, a decision maker would be like, oh, Mario, that toy my net, toy electronic toy my nephew likes, you know what I mean? Like they'd be almost dismissive of it. Right. Like not like no and now we've got people who it's like oh They're they're like uh me and Matt they've got video game tattoos Right I mean and I think and I think that like the people who have approved these choices in street fighter had to be intimately familiar with street fighter and had to look at it and be like

I don't know maybe it should just be fucking crazy Yeah yeah yeah yeah I also think that maybe not to maybe to maybe to Sonic they've seen the reaction of what it's like now when you do the wrong thing. And they're like, hey, we can't take any risks with how these characters look or behave from now on.

And I hope that the failure of Masters of the Universe doesn't teach the wrong lesson. Yeah. Which is, I think that the reason Masters of the Universe failed was not because it looks, I didn't see it, but looks one to one with the cartoon, it's that the median age of a person who watched Masters of the Universe is 50.

Yeah, it's too old. Like, it's too old. They went back a little too far. If we saw a trailer for Naruto and it looked as authentically, like, translated as the Masters of the Universe trailer, people would go fucking crazy. They'd just be like, they're in seats ready to go because that's the nostalgia window is 20 years ago, maximum, which is Naruto's window. You get to the sweet spot.

I do think that to that point, though, too, they were, they were. were marketing Masters of the Universe like to me. Right. And I like didn't grow up. I like had no frame of reference for it. I was like, oh, that's that's from before my time. I'm not particularly interested in that. Meanwhile me and like, you know, again, my older brother liked He Man.

I also, by extension, liked Heeman. But it was like, you know, that there was definitely like more of an 80s thing. Yeah. And so, you know, thinking of that demographic, that age range, my brother's kids are almost grown. You know what I mean? It's not even like I want to take my kids to see this, the experience this thing I, to see back to the future, which I loved as a kid, which also would be very out of date now. But that coexists with even the people for whom it has nostalgia hooks in, I'm saying, I'm commenting again again without having seen it, just hearing secondhand reports of what's in it. It's got a bunch of like marvel snark in it, kind of dismissiveness of what so people like about it, you know, kind of like, your name's really Fisto.

So what do you do Fisto? You know, that sort of is like Those jokes are so fucking tired at this point And also if you like He-Man, you're like, yeah, I know it's Fisto So what do you fucking do in me? I put my hand in people's orifices.

Apparently they make a fisting joke In the movie, which is just kind of like, again, if you like it, you're like what? And then if you're like taking your kid there It's like, what the fuck is this shit in here? I think it's Mattel taking the wrong lessons away from Barbie. I think Mattel was like, oh shit, we can make a toy movie

and it'll be a huge hit Instead of being like, Barbie is still something that kids play with. Yeah. He-Man is not something that kids play with. So already you have a totally different generational window for what Barbie is. Barbie is hundreds of years or whatever of, I mean, not hundreds, but you know what I mean? Like, it's like a multi-generational cycle of kids playing with Barbies, whereas He-Man was a window of time that has passed a long time ago. Secondly, they hired a brilliant writing, directing team for Barbie and said something profound with the movie.

And none of the trailers for He-Man have been like, hey, should we deconstruct masculinity for the next two hours while doing a fighting movie? It's just been like Skeletor at the fucking Starbucks or whatever. I mean, Skeletor at Starbucks is kind of funny. That sounds pretty funny. Well, he's at Starbucks. Wait, he is at Starbucks in the movie? I mean, from the stuff I've seen. What?

He goes back to the real world? I don't know if you're doing a bit right now. I did see a clip where he was in like a shirt and tie at the guy's office. What? Skeletor comes to the real world? He comes to the real world. Okay, maybe it's not Starbucks, but I was like, oh, he's in like a coffee shop or something. There's, I don't know the rules of it.

I've never seen it. Don't, I'm not familiar. He's, he's in like, he's got a coffee. Yeah, he's kind of being like, suit and tie. Office space. Why does that happen? Why do they do that? I don't fucking know.

Maybe it's a dream he man had. I haven't seen it. Seems like they went woke. He's also, all right. He's also at the gym. It kind of went broke, too. Yeah, they kind of went broke. Yeah, it seems bad.

But again, none of us have seen it. Yeah. But it probably is bad. I bet it's good. The he man, I'll say this, the he man meal at Denny's was extraorable. Absolutely awful. Well, we can't get into it, but we were talking about the minions one. Yeah.

The preview of the minions one too. Look, the minions banana swirl frosty does look good. I just wish they would try anything else beyond like, hey, we're just going to have a normal, you get a big bacon or a spicy chicken sandwich with fries and then a new drink. How about that? That's the minions combo. It's like, that's not the minions combo. It's a new drink.

I do think that. Like, don't fucking treat me like an idiot. I wish that the Gundam bun hadn't been sold out when I went to Japan McDonald's. The Gundam bun. And I ordered the Gundam chicken sandwich and they were like, we're so sorry we're out of the bun. And I said, can I have it on a regular bun? And they said, no. Wow.

That's such a bummer. What did you say? It is a bummer. It is a bunner. A bunner? Yeah. Did you say bunner first? No, I said bundum.

I said more like bundum. Okay. And then he said bunner. And I said bunner. Well, Matt said bummer, so I said kind of a bonner. Why do you look like you're getting away with something like nobody's stopping? When you're in deep shit actually, you're fucking in trouble. We've all had those nights.

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And I'm here to talk to my friends about what they're playing in their video games. No bits straight to their point. Nick Weiger, what do you play it? No bits straight to the point? I saw some complaints on Reddit. Well, you don't need to get, you don't need to like that. You should not internalize that. I think you should be yourself.

You think you should do your thing. And how did you, they let you back on the computer at the library? Yeah, they did. They said I got to wear gloves, but I'm allowed to use. Okay, yeah. Honestly, based on my experience at the library, some of those guys using them, computers should be wearing gloves. Some of the content they're browsing. What are your experience at the library? I will just say that, you know, there aren't controls on the browsers for the most part, which is good.

It should be a free speech hub. That's the spirit of the library as an American institution. But some people use it to look at porno. And maybe that's not something that I should be done. Modern Library of Alexandria. Imagine you walk into ancient Library of Alexandria. And right there in the middle of the floor is a girl with a dick at each hand. That's knowledge. That's knowledge.

Yeah. I'm just saying there's story time with Good Night Moon, a stones throw away. Yeah. Maybe don't be browsing gape.com. But, gape. But hey, each his own. ranch looked upset when you said that nick yeah i just want to call it out because i got ranches back

she looked upset she just made a phrase i'm just setting everyone in the episode sorry no you're doing great i'm not upset you this is why i said no bids no you're right we should have followed your lead no bids you are correct so far we haven't done any we've actually been very serious this whole time and let me answer your question resident even murcia I want to shout out two friends of the pod. First off, past guest Stephen Ray Morris of the Sea Jurassic Wright podcast, who prodded me to finally play this.

And our theme song composer, Ben Prunty, the great Ben Prunty, great game composer, who composed the music for Subnodica 2. Whoa. The Unknown World's Entertainment, early access game that's been out since May. It is on Game Pass, at least is as of this record. And, you know, considering you got to spend money on Subnotica 1, the Subnotica 2 early access is kind of the way to go right now if you just want to mess around with this game. Now, I never played Subnotica, so I can't speak to what Diehards have, think about the sequel,

but I did ask Stephen Ray what his thoughts were, as someone who put a ton of hours into the original and is spending a lot of time with Subnotica 2. I'll just read this text. I think it really refines the first game in so many ways. Ben Printy's score whipsass, agreed, and the game is somehow more terrifying and unsettling than the original. Base building is so fun. Also, this is early access

of the version of the game. We are for a hell of a media experience when the full release comes whenever that is. Wow. So I will say this. Speaking of the terror of this game, I have a little bit of thalasophobia,

which I previously got into when we discuss subnotica with Stephen Ray and some other past guests. That's Fear of the Ocean, which is rooted with my claustrophobia fundamentally. You know, like it's like the idea

of being trapped in something, and a lot of times it's like, you know, you're in a small base. It's just, it feels like you're, you're surrounded, water, water everywhere, none of it to drink, you're going to drown. I don't like the, like, drowning is terrifying. Hey, Sonic the hedgehog, we learn from that.

You don't want to fucking drown. No, you don't want to, Sonic taught us, if he's taught us anything, it's that you don't want to drown. So there are those elements in there, but I will also say there's kind of like a soothing element to it because, it is a survival game, yes.

So it's got that gameplay loop where you're like whatever, collecting some of the resources in this game are like titanium and quartz and then, you know, building your base, getting biomodds, just improving your character and your base of operations over time and then exploring more and more of the biomes, starting in the shallows, the shallows. I'm on the deep and watches I dive.

I'll never leave the ground Holy shit That was beautiful I look Full on karaoke voice I love Jackson Maine Is that the lyric? Yeah

Yeah I've seen the movie once That movie's fucking good The movie's fucking great The soundtrack I heard I listened to the soundtrack Before I'd seen the movie

Because I wanted to hear What Bradley Cooper was doing it And there was a song That made me laugh so hard It's not a funny song at all, but it was just like, here's like a song from this movie about from this guy that's not the, that song, that shallow song. And it's just like one of his like, it's just one of his songs. And it's like, black eyes open wide. And it's just like, it's like a butt rock kind of song.

And I sent it to Zig and I was like, I'm about to piss laughing. It's so funny. But it's like, it's just like a very, it's just more earnest than I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a, it's a great movie. And you know what? good. Maybe Bradley Cooper's movies are good, actually.

Did you see, is this thing on? No, I didn't see that. Did you see Maestro? Yeah, I don't think I liked Maestro, but I understand that it's good. I like Maestro. I can think it's good and not like it. Okay. Is this thing on is an intro, I don't think it really works.

I think it's kind of insubstantial. It's like a weird Indies kind of 90s Sundance movie. Some people have characterized it, but, anyway, it's an interesting film. I just don't know why you wanted to make this movie about a fictional stand-up with Will Arnette. but whatever. A ranch, you've seen the new Starsborn? Yeah, I have. Yeah.

What did you think? I fell asleep. Okay. And then I woke up to him. Oh, boy, that is rough. You missed a lot of context. Yeah, you missed a part where he pisses himself on stage. Yeah.

Do you remember when you fell asleep? Hard laughs in that movie. Very funny. Yeah, it's a hilarious movie. I fell asleep shortly after they were singing at the grocery, in the parking lot of the grocery store. Oh my God. That's like a full nap.

Yeah, that's like an hour of runtime. It's pretty good. It's a good movie. Do you have a habit of, like, are you someone who falls asleep during movies? Yeah. Okay. If it's nighttime, I am known to fall asleep. Right.

I get it. Are you a theater fall asleep person? No, I'm not a theater fall asleep person. Okay. But yeah, if you're at home. Yeah. Maybe you got a little bit of a pillow right here. Maybe you got a little bit of a blanket right here.

Uh-oh. That's a potent mix. I've only fallen asleep in the theater to two movies. One was Chicago, a movie actually liked, but I was just so fucking tired. I was working in the video game industry, and I just had gotten no sleep, and I just fell asleep during it. I actually ended up seeing it again because I enjoyed it, and I was upset that I fell asleep during it. The other is Men in Black International, which I did not. That's quite a, that's quite a stream.

I don't usually fall asleep in theaters. I'm usually riveted. I'm locked in. I've only fallen asleep in one movie of recent memory, and it's that one with the clown that was chainsawing people. Terrifier? Yeah. You fell asleep during terrifier? I was fucking boring shit.

Well, it doesn't have like a, it's just violence with no story or stakes. And I was like, this is extremely boring. And I fell asleep. Let me just just wrap up my brief subnaudicata, too. Matt, what's going on? you found the antics of art the clown to be dull. They were. It's like after the first time he like cut somebody up.

You kind of seen it. Then it's like, okay, so where are we going? And then you see him do it another time and you're like, oh, we're not going anywhere. Yeah, it's like, there's no heightening. You want some narrative context, uh, not just to, to see basically like a, like a, whatever greatest hits real. Same reason I can't like, I'm not, I cannot get addicted to TikTok. It's like, after like three or four of them, I'm like, okay, well, I guess that's that then. Hmm.

I won't watch one of those because I'm, I think he's, I think he's legitimately too scary to me. He's in Fortnite. Yeah, get him out of there as far as I'm concerned. Also, little presence in a scary movie for those who have seen it. You know, they had to go there. You had to do it. Anyway, to wrap up my thoughts on Subnotica 2. I there's for me what I was surprised by is there's there's a lot more story like main story campaign and lore than I expected it's actually kind of I thought it was kind of cool like some of the sci-fi ideas of like your character is I believe the colonists arrived human colonists and then the atmospheric pressure made it so that they could not survive your character is basically a um like a you know like a a a a a a navi and uh and a and a

a marine it's a it's a potent mix it is like like it is a backed up consciousness of a dead colonist and i i i you know i i'd really like all all that sort of stuff and i do think it's just just as far as the survival um survivor game sort of like loop you know i what i was able to to compare it to which is not a survival game it's it's more of a rogue light but but you know dave the diver is the same sort of like thing it was like oh you know what actually i guess I do like some motion games. And that one's like less immersive. It's not in first person. So it's not as disorienting. It's not as motion sickness inducing, not as claustrophobic. But I think the vivid palette, the great sound design, the music are all things that make it a much more, I guess I'll say wholesome experience, even though that's not exactly the right word than I anticipated.

I think Contra Slate Aspire 2, which I am still spending time with. I'm not going to spend too much time with Subnotica 2 in early access because they want to see what the polished final version is. Maybe I'll return to Subnotica 1 at some point and see what that's like. But like Hades 2, another game that I just kind of dip my toe in the water with, pun intended, for the early access and then waited for the final release. It is a remarkably polished early access thing. That's awesome. Especially for something that's released date is potentially years away.

So anyway, that's what I've been playing. Heather, what about you? Well, I have been playing a game for the Super Famicom. And it's nice that I received this chart as a bowl as I have dipped back into the world of Gundam. I've been playing Gundam F-91 Formula Report 0122 for the Super Nintendo slash Super Famicom. Let's go. And it is an old action platformer from the 90s that takes place in between the events of Mobile Suit Gundam F90 and the film itself, F-91. One of the funniest things in the opening text when they're explaining the setting of the game is that the Xion forces are using old one-year war era mobile suits, which are at this point like 20 years old.

And so they are called the Oldsmobile. Great. That's fun. Olds mobile. Olds mobile. I like it. group. It is a game where you can like choose different loadouts for for your Gundam and then you just like side scroll your way through just like a pretty straightforward action adventure game. Super fun. I also have been playing and I forget the name of this one, a PSP game that's

also a Gundam game. Because I was like, I should download Gundam games because they're all translated now and they it's like I'll get to be a kid in Japan watching my favorite show and then getting to play the the games that come out simultaneous to it. And this is a PSP game that's like a 3D fighting combat game where you choose one of the mobile suits from like a street fighter style roster of characters. So of course I pick my boy Char Aznabal. And as you fight the other robots, you also hear voice acting from the pilot and the theme song from the era that the machine takes place in, which is really nice. That's awesome. So those are the two games that I've been playing because I'm trying to, as I come to sort of what I imagine is the sunset period of Pocopia, I'm hunting for my next fix.

And so I tried some Gundem games. How about you, Matt? What have you been playing? Well, I've been playing. I'm bouncing around, you know. Yeah, you got, like, here's the thing. Because you are the finisher. Yes.

You are the artist formerly known as the Xbox kid. Yeah. You are the franchise, but you also bounce around. I feel like we've got to get something for that. Because that is part of your gameplay approach is you will have multiple plates spinning in the air at one time, but you'll somehow tackle them all. He's the hunter. You're the hunter.

I think it's good that you guys came up with something. because I was about to pitch Maddie Supreme. Maddie Supreme is pretty good. I don't know why we can't have both. I mean. Because I'm thinking about the ping pong ball. Yeah. Maddie Supreme.

The Hunter. Maddie Supreme. Maddie Supreme. Maddie Supreme. Maddie Supreme. They're both going in there. Okay. Maddie Supreme, the hunter.

You're always hunting for the next big game. Always bouncing games around like Marty Supreme with his ping pong battle. See, that's kind of why maybe doesn't work because it requires just a little bit too much explanation. But Maddie Supreme works on its own. It does sound good. He's fucking a girl in the hallway. He's Maddie Supreme.

Yeah. I can't say what I'm about to say. No, say it on this show. You can say anything. I'm just checking to make sure that the candle is actually right. What? That was a much more cleaner. Yeah, that was a cleaner, more obtuse version of the Gwyneth Paltrow pussy eating reference.

Oh my God. Because he does that in the movie. He does eat her pussy in Central Park. Yeah. Gets caught by cops. Yeah. Fucking cops. A cab.

Let the man eat some pussy. That's fucking Marty Supreme to you, bitch. He's not hurting anyone? Come on. Anyway. I'm about to... I munch some box. Heather has taken char out of the box, speaking of, and he looks good.

He looks fucking awesome. He looks really cool. He's a great figure. It's really cool. He's so good. He looks great. Just in case this ends up being the clip. I'm holding him up for the camera.

He's fucking gorgeous. Yeah, but now you've taken him out of the box. You can't kiss him because it's going to smudge. His hands are so, he has all these different hands and they're so delicate. Yeah. Like he's got like all these little gestures that you can choose. He's very fancy looking.

He's a fancy little guy. Yeah. So now he's thinking. What's up, Char? What's up, Char? Hi, Char. Hi, Char. So I'm bouncing around between stuff.

As I mentioned last week, I had rolled credits on Pocopia. So like I sort of had that monkey. off my back. So now I'm like, I want to get back into 007 first light so I can so I can finish that because I know that that's not a very long game.

I want to finish that. I want to dig a little deeper into Mina the Hollower. But I'm also, I'm craving a retro experience. Craving the Hunter? Is that what it is? I might be craving the Hunter.

Craving the Hunter. I'm craving a retro experience and it's brought on by, Pokemon and also The new tattoo that I got that I mentioned last week Which was based on Just listening, it's based on the sprite of Charzard from Pokemon Red and Blue. I learned well I didn't learn this but I've like I've known that Pokemon

When it released in Japan first As Pocket Monsters Red and Greed Had different sprites and but they only they only released those in Japan. Mm-hmm. And so since you introduced me to the world of undubs and, like, fan translations and stuff,

which, by the way, I got to get back to Final Fantasy 10. My friends are all... They're dying. They're in the highlands, and they're just like, is he coming back or what? I got to get back in there.

But I... Sorry, before you move on, can you say different sprites again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just whatever, however we wrote that up? It had... The original Pokemon games had different sprites.

Different sprites. It sounds like me at the Coca-Cola freestyle machine. All right, go on, Matt. Got one cup of Sprite remix and the other couple of, was it, LeBron's mix? Yeah, I mean, you can do whatever. That grape Sprite, I said there's no slouch. Where's my camera?

Bring back Sprite Remix. Or I will kidnap somebody every day until you do. I'm just kidding. I'll do a Cherry Sprite Zero sometimes. Cherry Sprite Zero's good. I do think Sprite Remix was like maybe the best soda we had. Yeah. It was great.

But there's not a way to play Pokemon, those original Pokemon games in English. Mm-hmm. Or so I thought. Right. So I've acquired a translated version of Pokemon Green and I'm going to play it on my analog pocket.

Wow. And it's going to be like, which of course I could have just loaded it up on the Einthor, but I wanted to replicate the form factor of playing, I've curated this very specific experience, which is playing a game from my childhood from an alternate history basically where I'm playing this version that never came in English in English and I'm seeing the sprites that were not in the game.

Well, that's my experience with Gundam. It's like I'm playing an alternate version of my childhood where I got to watch anime and then immediately play the video games that came out for that anime. Yeah, I'm very, very excited. I have my analog pocket on me right now and I was truly like the last thing I was doing before I came over here. and I'm excited to dig into that because not all of the sprites are different

but some of them are wildly like wildly different. Wow. Like not that like you wouldn't recognize the characters or whatever but they're just like completely different. Like it's like Pikachu's showing off his butthole. Yeah Pikachu's showing a hole in one of them. Mr. Mime's showing

hole uh acting like they're on gape.com. Catterpies showing hole. It's kind of like they're all kind of looking at these sprites and being like, I think we have to redraw some of things. So that's sort of where I'm at.

I have a full dance card right now, but that's what I will be playing. I love it. Very cool. I love it. When people hear that Mint Mobile plans are only $15 per month, a lot of them wonder, what are you talking about? How is that possible? What is the catch?

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Get it? Like, wow, what a catch. Since we were given MintMobile here on the podcast, I've got a double phone, right? And I'll tell you what I'm doing with it. I'm just saying orange juice. over and over in front of the phone so I can try and catch the CIA secretly listening to my conversations. So far, no gotchas, no gimmicks. All of my ads remain for diapers, but I am saying

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What I found interesting about the first game is that it's the rare inversion of release order for the era. Came out in Powell first, then comes out in North America, and then comes out in Japan. and last. So they definitely were thinking of this as more of a Western-oriented property, and perhaps that speaks to it being such a global presence, even now, 35 years later. I think that part of the reporting is on anything this old is always a little suspect. But from what I read, they designed the game to appeal to Western audiences. And when they showed Sonic to North American executives, they were like, this game's going to suck and it's going to flop.

So it was a big surprise to them that Sonic became like the worldwide phenomenon that he did. Those dumb asses. Yeah, dumb asses. Those are the same guys who like when it becomes successful were like, like, knew it all along. Yeah. I championed this game internally.

I came up with calling him Sonic. Yeah. It was my idea that he should be blue. Also, the, the reason that Sonic performs the way they, they, they. They were trying to make a mascot game that would showcase the Genesis in ways that the Super Nintendo couldn't do. And so a lot of that is, you know, speed-based. But it also, that Yujanaka, who helped design the original Sonic the Hedgog game, and I believe the man who's now currently in prison. Is he still in jail?

I don't know. I'll look it up. He had created a tech demo that allowed a sprite to go in a circle smoothly. So the whole game Like the top of a cup, perhaps? Is backwards is developed backwards from the loop Which when you saw in a commercial

Looked like a magic trick Like the idea that a sprite could go upside down like that And like a perfect little circle Was something Mario never did So it felt special It felt like Sonic was doing something unique and cool They could do sprite scaling and rotation On Super Famicom, Super NES hardware

but what you're talking about is like that kind of like happening in real time within gameplay, which yes was not. It's more of a thing that you would see in in cinematics and cut scenes or like a boss's introduction. Okay. So there's the famous super NES thing they would do is like a spinning title sequence. Yes. Sorry, go on Matt. Here's just to close the loop on Yujinaka.

He's currently not in jail. In July of 2023, he received a 30-month prison sentence suspended for four years. along with roughly $1.2 million, or, you know, yen in fines. I guess it would be yen, right? I assume so. I assume so. Does it say dollars? It just says $1.2 million in fines.

Probably yen. For insider trading. As long as he complies with the terms of his probation, he will avoid serving jail time. Oh, okay. The terms of his probation include not making a sequel to Ball and Wonderworld. Never do that shit again, and you'll never see the inside of a jail cell. I just want to read a straight paragraph from Wikipedia. about Sonic's history.

After Yuzuhara joined Naka and Oishima, their focus shifted to developing the protagonist who Sega hoped could become the mascot. The protagonist initially was a rabbit able to grasp objects with its prehensile ears, but the concept proved too complex for the hardware. The team moved on to animals that could roll into a ball

and eventually settled on Sonic. Naka's prototype, the again loop thing, was expanded by, Oshima's character design and levels conceived by Yuzuhara. Sonic's color was chosen to match Sega's cobalt blue logo. So he looks blue because Sega looks blue. His red and white shoes were inspired by the Michael Jackson 1987 album Bad. His personality, his personality was based on then governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton's can-do attitude.

Wonderful. So far, Sonic is based on. Michael Jackson and Bill Clinton, two normal gods. Green Hill Zone is based on Epstein's Island. Big the cat is Jared before. That's fucking crazy. That is nuts.

I mean, yeah, a lot of these. Monica, did you know? They made Sonic after me. That's why I liked the color blue so much. come over here with that dress I'll give you a blue blur It sucks It sucks

It's interesting because you know Sometimes a politician will go on like a talk show And so I know people who have worked on shows Where it's like Oh fucking this piece of shit

Is gonna come on the show And then there's something about humanizing a person in real life Like seeing them Where all of a sudden you're like I don't know what happened but I just ended up shaking George W. Bush's hand because he was just, he just had this presence

and this charisma and I just was like, yeah, I wanted to call him a war criminal, but I was just like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. Yeah, I love your paintings. What the fuck? So, like, I don't know. I can see you like Heather having that response, but I think a lot of people, like,

even if they have that in their head, they're like, it's kind of actually having that moment. So you're overcome by fame. Yeah, I think, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't think I've ever seen somebody in real life that I find to be like horrific. You know what I mean? Yeah. It is cool.

Sonic being blue because Sega is blue. Go with me on this. Uh-huh. That sort of tracks. We like that. I like that. Yeah, I like that. We all like that.

And then Sega's like, we're actually not blue anymore. Now the logo's not blue anymore. And then now think about this. Wait, the logo's not blue? Well, I'm thinking about their consoles. The consoles were never really blue. What point are you making? Yeah, where were you lost?

And can you return? Can we just bleep everything I just said? People, I think, know this, but Sega is short for service games. I didn't know that. Company co-founded by an American. American businessman. Look, I have not played very many Sonic games. The most Sonic games I've played are for the.

this show, including... Oh, Char! No, Char! Char! Char just fell to his death. Is that a survivable height, given the scale? No. You don't think so?

That man's dead. No, he fell from a... For our audio listeners, he fell from the arm of a love seat, which Heather is seated on. And, yeah, at his scale, he's about, like, what, about six inches? How big is that, motherfucker? That is... If that's six inches, that's not six inches. How big is it?

I can't tell from her. I think there's a four inch. Generally say it's six. All right. It's a huge four-inch figure. I think if he fell from there, he would, yeah, he would fall to his demise. I like that his helmet is shiny, but the rest of him is Matt. I do like that.

That's nice. All of you is Matt. All of me is Matt. That's right. I'm going to read more from the Wikipedia here, which is that. Sonic's first appearance came in Sega Am3's racing. game Radmobile, I knew this, as a, like a keychain dangling in the rearview mirror of a racing game. Because they wanted to sort of like slowly, it was like a trailer for a game that was going to come out.

Similar to Hans Solo's famous dice. According to Mark Serny, who worked in Tokyo as an intermediary between the Japanese and American Sega offices, the American staff felt that Sonic had no appeal. And although cats was certain, Sonic would not be popular with American children. Kalinsky arranged to play Sonic the Hedgehog as the pack-in game with the Genesis. So the team was like, what are you doing? I'm going to measure this thing with my phone, but I'm just configuring the app. You're going to measure.

When you say this thing. As I was talking, Nick just took out his phone and started waving it around the room like it was a magic wand. that I think he could activate the measure app. And now he's going to measure how large char is by placing him on a reflective surface that will confuse the camera. Okay, I'll put it on solid circles over here. I can't believe I'm letting him touch my treasure.

He's going to... Yeah, I didn't ask. I'm sorry. He immediately started to break it. Thank you, Matt. All right, Matt's got it. Let me put him right here. Yeah, well, I think... Oh, I guess I could measure him lying down.

Measure him like a corpse. How do I measure this motherfucker? So you started to do it and you actually don't know how. No, I've never used this app before. Oh my God, you have to put a point. No, you put a point on one end of him and then drag the measurement to the other end and then press the other point. It'll tell you how big he is. But also the app sucks.

I'm pretty sure it probably says on the box how big he is. I don't think he does. Let me see the box. Why are we doing this? What do you think? I don't know. Why do you think? All right, here we go.

it might say it but it of course is in Japanese. The show was going so well and now it's silence and confusion. You could have also just kept going and let this happen. You have to know that going like this was going to draw, you know, all of our attention. Waving your phone around in the air was like that's a show destroying choice. Me quietly opening char and putting him on the armrest beside me, very, different than... Although I will say

the start of our troubles. I guess so. Char from top of horn to bottom of foot clocks in at five and a half inches. Great. So Heather would have won

by Price's right rules. But I was not far off with my six guests. No. After the release of Sonic the Hedgehog won. Thank you, Heather. And the huge

success. Eugenaka was frustrated because he didn't receive credit for Sonic. And so he quit and started working at the U.S.-based Sega Technical Institute. And then Yuzuhara also joined up and they began working on Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Meanwhile, a Japanese team started working on Sonic CD, which was originally going to be just a

flashier port of the original Sonic until it sort of branched off and became its own thing. So Yujinaka has been slighted or was slided or was slided. but I'm sure it's all been made. Or he just was like, why am I not the Hideo Kojima of Sonic the Headshot? Yeah. Why does everyone know Maimoto's name and nobody knows Yujinaka's name? So on that level, I think it's fair to say, you can do a little stealing. You can do some.

What? What? You can do some insider trading. If you got, if you got fucked over like that? If it's your thing. It's your thing? You can do a little inside trading. But he's over there.

Like, I'm Yujiannaka. meanwhile this company's making UG knockoffs and see this is why we can't even really be mad about the measuring things because he's got stuff like that kind of. Four inches. I never said four.

I'm not talking about you. Heather, let me ask you something about Sonic because you're the resident Sonic. You're to me the Sonic person in the room. I was a Sega kid, yes. You're the Sega kid. Did you, when you're playing these Sonic games, did you have community? Were there people that you were like, hey, I can talk about Sonic?

Or was everybody, like, Mario's still the guy? No, everyone was still Mario, was still the guy. I loved Sonic so much that in high school I wore Sonic socks. That's cool. That's really cool. I had a pair of Sonic socks that I would wear at track meets, wherever it was that I could show off that I had Sonic socks. Yeah.

I would wear, I would wear sonic socks. You were doing the long jump, correct? Yes. These jumps long. I guess you also got to run fast to do the long jump. Yeah, you do. Yeah, very rarely people doing a long jump from complete stop. But I see, I know some of these, like the high jump, you're not doing like a super fast run.

You're doing kind of an approach and then the Fosbury flop. Because if you do that too fast, you might go fucking fly and do the high jump. Go out of the atmosphere. You might never come down. Clear the bar, but at what cost? No, to answer your question, no, I didn't know anyone else who was playing Sonic unless they were renting it. Yeah. I, I, I, but I also kind of didn't know anyone else playing video games.

As a girl, sure, playing, like, I wasn't talking to boys in elementary school or, or, or, or, or, or, or high school. Yeah. And, uh, it wasn't until college that I started knowing people who played video games. Got it. Yeah. Um, because in like, because, like, because, for. To me, I'm not trying to do this on purpose. I'm also 35.

So I've only lived in a world where Sonic exists. I guess not really. Well, I'm going to be 36 in December. So I have six months on Sonic. Yeah. Which is kind of gross. Hmm. Well, he came out six months ahead of time on the racing game.

That's right. Okay. So you guys were born at the same time. Sonic's my twin. You are wearing blue shorts and a blue hat. That's right. And my shoes kind of look like... And your shoes are red.

My shoes are red. Also, don't you have an actual twin? I do have an actual twin. So you triplets with Sonic. Or triples with Sonic. Okay, got it. We give it out. But I didn't grow up...

I sort of just had an awareness of Sonic. Right. In the same way that I had... I had the same awareness of Mario, but I didn't have Nintendo when I was a kid and I didn't have Sega. I think the first Sonic game that I probably actually had hands on

was when I was playing... Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast at my uncle's house. But I, like as I said earlier, the only Sonic games that I've played have been for this show and have mostly been bad except for Sonic 2, which I did finish for the show. And Sonic Frontiers. Well, I didn't like Sonic Frontiers.

I guess I have to be at a place now where I'm happy you guys like it. I like it unironically. Yeah, I like Sonic Frontier. I'm glad you like it. I just think to me... I like Knuckles Chaotics, ironically. Yes, I understand that.

Sucks sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like it's audacity and it's sort of bustedness. I, for me, and I think I've mentioned this before, I don't, I think he's too fast and it makes me sick. Sonic? Yeah, like, I think he moves way too fast. And, like, I can't, I can't look at him.

Let me just say, like, as someone who was a kid when Sonic the Hedgehog emerged on the scene, and we were a Nintendo family, my older brother's friend had a Sega Genesis and that was the first place I got first hand exposure to it and I do remember thinking it was the fucking coolest thing I'd ever seen and having that moment of like fuck this console is black yeah it's not like you know like this like this thing looks awesome and Sonic is so fast and so cool well and that's an interesting point too

yeah because I do think Sonic is cooler than Mario He's dead I mean Mario's also cool is the thing But like Sonic has like this this sort of like well here's the thing Sonic was cool before he reached the point where he's kind of try hard And then he kind of jumps the shark a little bit And he stops being as cool When he starts macking on chicks Yeah and Mario's just like more sort of like

I'm like kind of my own guy But yeah when Sonic is kissing a human woman In Sonic 06 a game we covered on the podcast On her first episode It should um It's like less cool you know so I feel like Sonic's gotten less cool over time. He's cool again in the movies. He is cool again in the movies. I recently tried to get into

You know, I've tried Sonic Mania. I think that's like a great Sonic game, people like that Sonic Mini is awesome. Sonic Mini is awesome. Sonic Mini is awesome. Sonic the new, the one with Shadow the Not Sonic Adventure 2, but there's like a package. Sonic it's like Sonic Generations or something cross Shadow. Yeah. And then Shadow can also do the levels. I played that a little bit and was just like,

this motherfucker's too fast. I can't do this. One of my favorite things about the eras of Sonic is that he goes from such an enormous position of status and power. By the time Sonic 3 and Knuckles comes out, which, by the way, Sonic 3 is developed apparently with Michael Jackson making music for the game. And then... He goes Sonic.

He had some CD. And then all of that has to be stripped from the game because of rights issues. And then also the allegations against Michael Jackson are all happening all sort of at the same time. I'm not sure what those are because I only saw the movie. But Sonic 3 is broken up into... Did they allege he was like a good singer and dancer? That's what the movie seems to propose. Sonic 3 is broken up into two games, Sonic 3 and Sonic and Knuckles.

And that's because there was a McDonald's promotion happening. And so they had to time their release. Yeah. So they bring out the game early. And then they bring out Sonic and Knuckles as a sort of un for, like never, never, never been done before. Why am I having so much trouble talking to that? Because you're excited to talk about Sonic. You love Sonic.

Um, uh, it, it's a type of game that has never been tried before where you snap a game into another game in order to play a larger version. It's almost like the first ever DLC. Yeah. Right? The DLC. Expans the game, makes it so that everybody's playing Sonic and Knuckles. It's a huge hit. And then the Saturn comes out.

And Sonic is not on the Saturn. Amazing whiff. It's so fucking crazy. They were developing Sonic Extreme, which was a 3D Sonic to sort of answer to Mario 64. Yeah. And it's a catastrophe. It's never released. there are broken versions of that game

that have been salvaged from tech demos and you could play sort of parts of Sonic Extreme if you want to. But like Sonic never comes out on the Saturn. So your number one character. Yeah. Your big dude isn't on your next flagship system. Yeah.

And that's not a, then that console is not backwards compatible with the previous generation either. Right. So you can't play Sonic on Saturn at all except for like spinball or whatever, like the shitty games. the system releases at $399, the PlayStation releases at $2.99.

The Saturn is the stumble step of Sega as a company, I think. Yeah, it was their big fuck-up. But honestly, like, it's not like the master system was some huge success. You know, it's more that the Genesis slash megadrive success was the exception to prove the rule. But the master system is a huge success. It's manufactured in Brazil for, like,

until I think the year 2000 or something insane. Like it wasn't market dominant here, but it had, it had a huge, huge following all over the rest of the world. But yeah, 1995 to 1998, Sonic just disappears. And it's not until he's a launch title for the Dreamcast that he returns in Sonic Adventure, which was gorgeous. I love Sonic Adventure. It's a flawed game as a Sonic Adventure, too. But I think they are good translations of the Sonic Formula into 3D. just a little too much time spent with his shitty friends.

I will say, looking at the chronology, it's kind of crazy how rapid fire it was and then how quickly the dearth sets in. And then also it just reminds you of how abruptly ended the Saturn's lifespan was. So Sonic the Hedgehog, 91, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, 92, Sonic CD, 1993, Sonic 3, 94, 74, Sonic and Knuckles' 94.

So that's happening like just one year after the, every single year. As a kid who plays Sega games, you're like, oh, shit, there's another Sonic game. Oh, my God. And then there's Knuckles Chaotics in 95. And that's the only real release in the mainline Sonic franchise until Sonic Adventure in 98, Japan, 99 in other territories in the West. So you have this fallow period where just Sonic is off the, the, the, the, the, you know, out of the zeitgeist. And then Sonic Adventure is kind of like,

Sonic's back. Look at Sonic everyone. But because it's also like going into 3D, there's an element of like, like, wait, oh, what is this game? You know, it's a little, it's a, I will say that the opening level of Sonic Adventure is a great showpiece for Sonic in 3D and for that sense of speed. Yeah. Saturn had the ability to handle these like super sprite heavy games.

Yeah, it was like one of the best pieces of 2D hardware ever. And the fact that there wasn't. at some point in the behind, like, because they were so fixated on the way the PlayStation was a 3D machine, like primarily a 3D machine. Yeah. That there was no conversation at Sega to be like, what if we just make a fucking rad side-scrolling, sprite-heavy Sonic with a CD soundtrack for all of the people who didn't own the Sega CD?

Like, it would have been something. I mean, there are other 2D side-scrollers like Castlevania Sub-B. of the night that are our successes for both PlayStation and Saturn during that era. It's such a huge missed opportunity. The best version of somebody tonight is on Saturn. Yeah. Sprite heavy, don't tell my doctor. I quit.

I think the thing about Sonic to me is that I wish, you know how much slower I wish he was? It's not even a lot. You're killing me with this. I wish it was like, he was like maybe at most 10% slow. Do you get motion sick? What's the issue? He makes me want to throw up. He moves too fast.

In 2D even. Sometimes in 2D, but more often in 3D I'm like, I can't fucking believe this guy. He's too much, but I want to love him. Because as a character, I think he's certainly one of the best blue guys. Beautiful blue boy.

Yeah, one of our top blue guys. I wish the blue boy painting was of him. The famous painting. work of art that's up at the Huntington Library here in Los Angeles. Go check it out. Especially it was of Sonic. Great public institution. That would be awesome.

Essentially from 2005 until Sonic Mania, Sonic has a rough period. Yeah. Like, the Shadow the Hedgehog game is sort of derided. Sonic 06 is certainly trash. It's fucking garbage. I guess the Sonic Advanced Games exist

within here, which are pretty fun. Those are fantastic. And the Game Boy Advance, I think, come on, that looks, that's, that's a great looking. Another great looking. That's, yeah, Sonic Rush. But, like, Sonic Rivals for the PSP, not great. Sonic in the Secret Rings for the Wii, not great. Like, it's a tough time.

Yeah, and then you've got, like, these ones that are, like, kind of along the lines of the shadow, the hedgehog, like, Sonic in the Black Knight. And, uh, what's the, what's the one where he's a fucking. Werewolf? The one that we did it. Sonic the Wareh. Sonic Unleashed. That's what it is. I keep thinking Sonic the Werehog, but it's of course not the title.

He got to call it Sonic Unleashed, which is pretty inscrutable. Just, yeah, none of these games really work. And so you have a period where the Sonic fandom is basically where our buddy Grant Pardee was when he gets in the podcast back in the day talking about the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. Sonic is great except for the video games. And I think that's like a lot of a lot of people kind of have that feeling because the Mega Drive Genesis games are so far in the rear view at this point?

I think because obviously the main point of comparison for Sonic is Mario, right? Right. If you take their worst shit and compare them, I kind of still think Mario comes out on top. Oh, easily. Yeah. It's not the worst mainline Mario game. Oh, mainline, yes. Yeah, the worst mainline Mario game is a triumph compared to the worst

mainline Sonic games. Honestly, compared to most mainline Sonic games. Yeah. Because most of them are dog shit. What do you think is the word, like, you think like, like, Mario is missing? Because that is, that game does suck. Yeah. That game is really bad.

But then you have Knuckles Chaotic side by side. And like, I kind of feel like... I would so much rather play Knuckles Chaotics than Mario's missing. But there's also like a, there's, there's, we're opening up to edge attainment. I just don't know the Sonic, Sonic Edutainment, you know. That's less of a game to me. Yeah, but it's like, there's definitely some, some really shitty Sonic stuff as well, some Sonic spin-offs.

It is around 2015 that they start being like, we got to make Sonic good again. And they refocus and they're like, Sonic Team's logo shouldn't make you sigh. It should make you excited. Yeah. And they release Sonic Mania and you start to arc, you start to bend Sonic back into like quality.

Yeah. And I think if this hasn't happened, if Sonic Mania hadn't happened, the Sonic movies don't happen. No, I think Sonic Mania was huge for like, triggering that nostalgia and we're being reminded of like, oh, this is what we love about this franchise. And Sonic Mania, we should give some context for people who haven't played it

or people who are not aware of the Sonic fandom. But essentially like a, what we call it, like a remix of a lot of the original Best of, Best of Collection, but also like it's also like a new thing. And that also allowed for some characters that weren't playable in these levels of the past to be playable in them. It's just like a really awesome package that also completely captured.

you know, just also lives in that aesthetic. It's not an attempted updating. Right. Kind of crazy that they haven't done that with Mario, honestly. Like, here's some of the classic, here's some of the all-time best levels in one thing. They do it sort of, though, in, like, those Nintendo, like, Time Dash stuff. Oh, sure.

Yeah, yeah. It'll be like, you have to beat just level one-one. Like, they do it. It's always, like, its own thing. Yeah, I mean, the movies are a whole other thing to me, obviously. The movies fucking rule. The movies are really, really great, and they only get better, which is shocking. Yeah, that doesn't happen.

No, it really does not. I rewatched the first one earlier this year on our pal Jordan Morris' podcast Free With Ads with Emily Fleming. And it's, I was shocked at how much it held up. I was like, oh, this is still like really, really fun. It's just like an origin movie. obviously the later entries benefit from knowing who Sonic is immediately. So you're just like get to the fun stuff right away. But those movies are so fun.

And I think three is like the best, maybe one of the best superhero movies ever made. It's so good. It's great. It's so good. I looked up the Sonic Edutainment. This one is called Sonic Schoolhouse. No. And it looks like shit.

And it is basically, I'll read the description here. aimed at children 4 to 9. It's a first person game. The gameplay has been likened to Doom. But instead of shooting demons, you saw spelling math and reading questions, and Sonic is also not playable. That game's kind of suck, right? That sucks. It sounds like it sounds better than Mario's missing.

Florida's missing is really bad. Bookmark that for a future. How did this get played for the page? Oh, my God. The thing is we've got so many bad Sonic games that we haven't yet covered. It'll be like five years before we get to that one. If we just did those, it would be five years. Yeah.

Yeah. Sonic Frontiers, I think. I mean, like I didn't play superstars or Sonic Shadow Generations, which you mentioned, Matt. So I can't speak to those. Sonic Frontier is the last one that. Superstars is good. Yeah, do people like superstars. It came out the week as Wonder came out.

That's right. I bounced off Wonder and then I played superstars for a while and then I bounced off Superstar. It got buried because of its, again, just Sagan makes so many bizarre business decisions, but like having that release so close to Super Mario Wonder, it was just an act of hubris. There's also, you know, obviously Sonic has collaborated with Mario on many occasions, mostly around the Olympics.

Smash, the Olympics. God, how mind-blowing is it when Sonic showed up in fucking Smash Brothers? Well, he's in Smash, of course, right? But then Sonic also has these other games. games where he drives a car, which I've not been particularly interested in at all until the most recent wave of tie-ins that they've announced for Sonic Racing Cross Worlds, I believe it's called. They've added, they're adding, well, first of all, they've added like TMNT, they've added,

I think, Avatar, Las Airbender, and like other sort of properties like that, other paramount adjacent properties, maybe SpongeBob is in there. Probably. they've branched out they're adding Godzilla and they've also they're adding Neon Genesis Evangelion you can race as

I think so far I saw in the in the trailer Ray and Ossica Makes sense I want to race his Shinji on his little sad chair But that's just like It's insane that they're in it

It just doesn't make any It obviously doesn't make any sense And it's just funny that all those other properties, I don't know how sad Avatar gets, maybe it gets kind of sad. I can guarantee it doesn't get as sad as Evangelian gets. And just the idea that they're just like, you know what, maybe let's take a break

and go on a little race real quick. I think this era of crossovers that we just realize that things don't have to make sense anymore. That's the Fortnite, you know, a horizon that we've passed. Yeah. I've heard rumor for a while that Sonic is coming to Fortnite. And if he comes to Fortnite, I hope Shadow comes to Fortnite

because seeing Sonic with a gun is less like entertaining to me than like seeing Shadow with Gun. Yeah. And he's, but Sonic is, he's not going to be fast enough. No, he will not be fast.

Although the movement right now in Fortnite is really good. They keep adding fast shit and I'm very happy. I just like, look, I know this is whatever. I don't play Fortnite. I know it would completely screw up the meta, but I do kind of like the idea

of these characters being to scale instead of all being the same size. Yeah. It just think it would be kind of, it would ruin the game. I know, but I just think it's kind of fun. It would be fun. It should be an optional mode. Yeah.

Because there are Optimus primes and stuff and Godzilla. Right. Yeah. So it would be wild if there was an optional mode where everything was to scale. Same HP though. Yeah.

Like you could still, you could still do it. Yeah. Like it would be a disadvantage to be Godzilla. Yeah. Because everybody on the map would be able to see. Yeah, I mean, it's just like, just things like Levi from Attack on Titan, a famous short king, being like the same height as like fucking Peter Griffin. And LeBron James. Yeah, LeBron James just bothers me.

But whatever. I don't know. I know. I'm beating this drum for no reason. Beating this dead horse. You know, the horses got flies buzzing around it. I should not talk about a game. I don't really play.

What is the best Sonic offering? Sonic 2. It's Sonic 2. Yeah, it's Sonic 2. I mean, we cover it on the podcast, and it's like this game's a triumph and it still holds up. Yeah, it's Sonic 2 with a bullet.

It's just, it's a perfect game. It is a shame that that game is itself 34 years old. Like, it shouldn't take 30, it shouldn't take 34 years to top Sonic 2. And it hasn't happened yet. I would say if I was going to introduce someone to the franchise, I would probably point it,

mania because I just think manias are really good onboarding if we're like this is the magic of Sonic and this is a more accessible version you can play on modern hardware or maybe maybe Frontiers the thing about Frontiers is it's like fucking weird and it's got elements that make it feel like Breath of the Wild and I also will just say like it felt like Sonic Team had I think believe Sonic Team developed with that it could be wrong Sonic and they like whoever the developer was had figured something out with Sonic Frontiers but also it wasn't quite refined even defenders of that game, which is what Heather and I are, are still like, yeah, it's got some rougher spots, it's got some rougher batches.

It feels like they could iterate on that, though, and make like a Sonic Frontiers 2 or Sonic Frontiers, like, beyond whatever the fuck they want to call it. Yeah. And just like, that could really be the game that makes this more open world 3D formula click. I don't know if they have any plans to do that, but it always feels like their development just going off in all these orthogonal directions. Yeah, because even, I feel like it was maybe. a year or less in between releases of like sonic colors and then sonic superstars.

And it's like, they're just like, it's the, the brand is too diluted. Yeah. If there were that many Mario games, we'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, let's chill out for a second. Yeah, it's the same reason that like Mandalorian and Grogu wasn't a huge hit. It's there's too much Star Wars. Yeah. Over saturation.

Yes. It is kind of shocking, though, that by this point, and this is true for Mario as well. Not really clear what's next for either big mascot. You would think by now, Sonic Frontiers is what? Five years old, I think, maybe something like that. You'd think that there would be like some buzz about what the next Sonic thing is. Can you imagine if the trailer for the next Sonic game just started with this time we did it right? Like the new Burger King commercials?

Yeah, yeah. It's just like, we're sorry. You saw like a bunch of footage of like Sonic like fucking up collision and like passing through walls or drowning instantly. And like that montage ended and it just said this time we did it right. That's yeah. Open on Sonic in like an open world. I would I would buy the I would instantly buy the game that moment without seeing any game. Yeah.

CEO of Sega of America just reading negative steam store reviews. This is unacceptable. Yeah. We fix Sonic. Do you know how shitty it is to have eaten Burger King in? like a month's window of then them announcing that they've been fucking up recently

that's not the vote of confidence that they think it is like oh wait but I had it and I knew it wasn't good and now you're telling me I feel bad that you're telling me now my dumb ass going like it's not good it's like finishing a wafer I may be dumb

one one spin off I do want to note is Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine, which I think is... Mean Bean Machine is good. Pretty damn good. Good. Yeah.

That's, I mean, that's... I don't think your type of game necessarily, Heather. No, it's not my type of game. And Sonic the Fighters, also a valiant effort at a 3D fighting game in the 1990s. Never messed around with it. No. It's chunky. Yeah, it doesn't seem right.

I do think that, yeah, there's more to be done with him. And they're... What's the new movie comes out next year, I think, or something? Yeah, something like that. Sonic, there's a... fourth Sonic movie coming out. Right. Keep them coming.

They just keep expanding the roster, too. Like, they're adding Amy Rose to this next movie voiced by Kristen Bell, which I'm really excited. And Metal Sonic. And Metal Sonic who premiered in Sega CDs, Sonic CD. And also was teased at the end of... At the end of... Sonic 3. Yeah, yeah.

Which, at which point, a kid in my theater stood up and started running around with his hands raised, Metal Sonic. He was so fucking excited. Where does that kid find out about Metal Son? I don't know, but he loved it. I sort of think we're looking at that kid. What?

I love going to those movies as a childless adult and being in the theater with dads and their kids. Oh, yeah. It's such a great experience. No one thinks you're creepy. No. Especially if you're there alone, the big bucket of popcorn over your lap. Unnecessary. You don't need to do that part.

Okay, well, where's the popcorn supposed to go? On your arm right. Hmm. It might spill. Remember the one from Japan? Yeah. Oh, my God. Everything.

For those, maybe you don't remember, there was a cuphole insert that then had like a little table for your stuff. And then you put the cup in the cup holes, too. And then you put the popcorn on the little tray. They gave your concessions on a tray that they handed you that you carry into the theater and then just secure into the cup. There is a theater here called the look cinemas, which has the same exact. technology with the cup holder and the swivel, right? I like that. They have, however, locked the cup holder into the thing so you can't remove the tray

from your, prevent theft, I think. Sure. Well, yeah. It is America after all. I would steal it to put it in my cup holder at home. Fucking idiot. You think I'm going to steal that? Who cares?

Grow up. Well, happy 35th, Sonic the Hedgehog. Happy 35th, Sonic. Like, you don't look a day over, well, I guess I shouldn't say. 15, isn't he? Yeah, he looks young. But he's, I think he's the cool, maybe the coolest blue guy, for sure. Yeah, and also, I will, we, I just feel like we should not do a Sonic the Hedgehog episode without acknowledging the theme song for Sonic Underground, the greatest theme song in television history.

It is, incredible. Ranch, have we played you the Sonic Underground theme song before? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really, really good. It's great. That's part of your job interview. You listen to this. Listen to this while we look at you. Yeah. Yeah.

So we do a segment? Let's do a segment. I think so. Guys, I have a segment this week called Segment. Segment. That's really, really good. So here's what's going to happen, guys. As we look back on Sonic, we're also looking back on Sega.

And I have a list of real and fake Sega exclusives. Wow. I will give you the premise and you tell me whether it's not real or evidence of Sega's genius. So buzz in with your. name and you either say it's fake or Sega genesis. I think Ratch can you play too? Okay great. Okay, Rats will play. So buzz in with your name and tell me if it's either fake or Sega Genius. And bonus points if you can name the game.

Got it. Oh, so you're reading the description, not a title. Yeah. Got it. You tell me if it's fake or real. Sega exclusive. Also, I guess I got to keep track of points. I hate doing that part. Oh, great. Okay, Rant has 100 points. Okay. In this game, which may or may not be a Sega exclusive, you play as an undead guitar playing skeleton, trying to escape an evil army of undead creatures, and the genre shifts from stage to stage going from platformer

to rhythm-based button mashing and motorcycle obstacle courses. Matt. Matt. That is a real game. It is a real game. And I believe the game is called Mr. Bones. It's correct. Two points from that.

And the only reason I know that is because the game is called Mr. Bones. Great title. All right. New nickname. You got enough. You have enough. I can't keep adding it. It's going to show up as an ellipsis on the back of my shirt.

Yeah. In this game, you control a scientist who has been transformed into a puddle. Weiger. Yes. Hmm. I mean, I feel like you're, this is, it sounds real and maybe it is, but I'm going to say fake. I'm sorry, Nick, you are incorrect. That is a real game, a Genesis exclusive called the Ouse.

The Ouse, was that, and was that released in North America as well, do you know? I imagine some of these weirder games are in Japan only, like Mr. Bones. No, Mr. Bones was, you got a worldwide release. It was not only a worldwide release, it was a launch title for the Saturn. So they just have never known what they were doing. The game was called The Ouse. The Ouse. All right.

Solve puzzles that let you touch women's breasts in this Japan exclusive game set in a sewer. I feel, look, I'm not, I'll just buzz in because I started talking, Wiger. Wiger. I could do the bit where I crossed my fingers and say, please be real, but I'm not doing that. You could do it. I could do it. I'm just saying that was an option on the table. I think this is a real game, but I think it's not a Sega game.

I'm sorry, Nick, you are incorrect. All right. In this game, you play... Wait, do you have the title that game? No, because it's fake. What are you talking about? Wait, what? I thought you said it was real.

No, I said it was fake. I said it's a real game, but not a Sega game. I think I should get points, right? But it's a fake game. It's a fake game. Wait, so I thought the exercise was it a real Sega game or not. I was saying it was not a real Sega game. Don't give me negative points.

It's fine. I'm just saying like I thought it was I was answering the prompt in a way where I think what Heather was doing was using a real game description. You thought that's what was happening. And you were saying are these Sega exclusives or not? No. I'm saying that this is a list of games where they are either existing Sega exclusives or they don't exist. Got it, got it. So this was, okay, so I was wrong.

Sorry about that. That's okay. All right. In this game, you play as two alien rappers from the planet. Weiger. Yes. I know this one. This is real and this is Tojama and Earl.

Correct. Weiger is on the board with two points. Do you want to read the rest of the description? Two alien rappers. From the planet Funkotron. They crash land on Earth. Their spaceship is scattered into ten pieces to be collected. I know very little of Toadjam and Earl, and I wish I had known that.

I didn't know that they were from a planet called Funkotron. Yes. There is no combat in the game outside of throwing tomatoes. It's one of those things which should have been like a cool franchise and they just like never really figured it out. Yeah. I know it from a Childos Gambino song. That's all, that's my only point of reference for it.

Up next. In this game you play as Chuck D. Head as you journey through stages and kill enemies by throwing your head at them. Matt, I'm going to say that's not real. Matt, that is a second exclusive known as DeCAP attack. What platform was that on? I think that was Genesis. Wow.

Okay. In this top-down Zelda-like, you're a colonizer who bribes Aztec fighters to join your adventure by throwing cash at them. Weiger. Yes. I'm pretty sure this was a real, game for the Sega Master System. That is correct.

That's one point. Was it called, was it called Aztec Adventure? That's correct. That's two points for Weiger. Weiger's in the lead now. All right. In this game, you play as a living laundry machine with frighteningly realistic human arms in a side scroller where you collect coins.

Hmm. What I'm learning is what I thought was a gulf between Heather's invented stuff and Sega's actual taste is not as deep as not as far away as I thought. It's not a canyon. Yeah. It is more of a crack in the sidewalk. Yeah. Ranch, do you want to take a shot at this one?

I think that's something Heather made up. Ranch is correct. That's what about the ranch. Ranch on the board. Okay. In this game, you control a community of bald people as they battle as they, as they battle against their enemies who are hairy people who are called harries. I mean.

Not a bald people slur for people with hair. Get these harries out of here. I'll buzz in, Wiger. All right. Just because we're just all sitting here. I will say that sounds weird enough to be a real game. Nick, you are correct. Do you know the name of the game?

I don't know the name. The name of the game. You got one point on the board. Baldi land. The thing that's been so dumb about this is that even the real ones sound fake. That's crazy. In this game, you play as a man made out of boogers. Matt.

Matt. This is real. Correct. I'm going to guess it's called Booger Man. That's correct. I knew that one. Pugerman's disgusting. That is.

For some reason, a shabler. Shit man is less gross to me than a booger man. Get boogers out of here. I don't want to see a booger man. You don't need them. What are they doing in there? Yeah. Okay.

I've got a couple more here. A giant chicken is the main character in this Kaiju brawler set in Tokyo in this Japan exclusive. I mean, Japan exclusive does feel like a little bit of a clue, but is it meant to be a red herring? That's the question. It's probably not the family guy fighting game. Yeah, the family guy fighting game would have a large chicken, but I don't think that would be a Sega exclusive. And certainly they would not keep that just in the territory of Japan.

Anyone want to take a guess at this one? I'm going to, I'll go ahead and guess. Matt. I'll guess that it's not real. That's correct, Matt. That's one point. We have two more, two more. It sounded like it would be good, though.

So what are the point totals at? Nick and Matt are tied for five. Wow. Wow. Wait, are you playing or not, Ranch? Ranch got a point. I have one point. You have a point.

But it doesn't feel like you're really playing. It feels like you're maybe not buzzing. You didn't want to play. I just truly don't know what is the mind of Heather. All right. Last two. Jonas T. Dog is the star of this surfing is the star of this surfing side scroller

with mini games that take place at the mall. This guy sounds fucking awesome, first of all. Jonas T. Dog. Ranch. Ranch. That's a Heather exclusive.

That's correct. Well done. And then finally, I'm going to name a title for the tiebreaker. Wait, is it tiebreaker? Yeah, I guess we have, yeah. Tiebreaker. I'm going to name a title

and you simply tell me if the title is real or fake. Great. Cotton boomer. rang. That's real. Nick Weiger, you win the game. Wow.

Wow, what a segment. Segment. Segment. That says we've got played. Our producers, Michelle Chen Ranch, Twitch.tv. Slash yard underscore underscore Sard. Check it out. Our music is by Ben Prunty.

Benprunti. Benprunti Music.com with the Subnotica 2 soundtrack. Congrats to Ben. Art is by Duck Brigade Design. Duck Brigade.com. Get played merch at kinshipgoods.com. And there's a bonus episode every Wednesday on our Patreon. Get Played, DLC.

Matt, do you know what's up this week? I don't know off my head to me. So we'll just skip this. Yeah. And there's a bonus episode every Wednesday on our Patreon. Get Played, DLC. We'll DLC over there at patreon.com slash get played. Wow.

Sonic the Hedgehog, 35 years. And you know what? I hate to say it. Sonic got played. Sonic got played. Hey, you know what? That's what he wanted. Ew. Yeah, he's into that shit.

Yuck. That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right.

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot.

A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to Fri-E. Coming to FI. That's what it is.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast. A new show now on Headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to roll. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every, every so often.

With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass,

that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really, nice. I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me.

Wee man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him. Every time. Apparently he hates to flush.

Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about?

Probably buttholes.