Get Played - Baldy's Gate

Starting point is 00:00:00 Get the Angel Reese special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Podcast. All right, hey buddy. I'm excited to do the bald guy episode. Oh yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, I'm really excited.

Starting point is 00:00:32 Let's get in the studio and just wait for Heather to go on in there. Oh. Whether you're married, single, or in a spiral. Okay, let me take this again, ranch. Hey, sorry, Resident Evil Merchant, what's going on? Nothing, I was just trying to cut, I was just doing a little side project. Okay, well we're waiting on Heather anyway,

Starting point is 00:00:57 so if you want to get to that, yeah, go, feel free, I'm just gonna chill. I'm nervous if you guys are watching me. Well, you're just like, are you reading an ad or something? No. Well, OK, that that no kind of sounded like a yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we do that.

Starting point is 00:01:17 We do that. Is that on our show? You guys were like not available one week. I thought I would just have some like backup copy. OK, you know what? Well, here's the thing. I got some show notes to prep anyway. So I would just have some like backup copy. Okay, you know what? Well, here's the thing. I got some show notes to prep anyway. So I'll just let you do your thing. I'm just gonna hang out for a second.

Starting point is 00:01:31 All right, all right. Take 31. From chinos to shoes, Ziploc bags to fire extinguisher. If you're looking for what you need around the house, then you need to go no farther than amazon.com. Hang on. Yep. So you're just reading an ad,

Starting point is 00:02:02 just for the website Amazon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just reading an ad? Just for the website Amazon? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And is this is your, this is the thing they hired you to do? Who? So this is the thing you're not getting money for, you're just doing on your own?

Starting point is 00:02:17 I, maybe I'm unfamiliar with the process. Yeah, generally what happens is that an advertiser will say, hey, we want to run an ad on your show. Here are the talking points. We'll read something loosely like this and then we'll be, it's usually a contractual arrangement. It's usually not where we're just doing our own ad.

Starting point is 00:02:38 I thought you would read something that you wrote. I thought you would bill them. No, but another way this happens though too is that sometimes you'll opt into a category of a type of ads for example. Oh! And then... I got it then, I got it, I got it, I don't need to hear anymore. Some ads are then sneaky about... Mozzarella cheese! Do you wish you had some in your refrigerator?

Starting point is 00:03:06 What about if you put mozzarella cheese in your refrigerator? You can make a sandwich or pizza. Mozzarella cheese. Who would that be from? From just like the mozzarella? The concept of mozzarella? And I'm pretty sure they don't- The mozzarella cheese council?

Starting point is 00:03:30 They don't want you to do a song. And don't do any more work than you need to. Just read the copy. Sometimes the ad copy on some of these things, they'll sort of like make you sort of like invent the brand sort of. They'll make you sort of like invent the voice of it. Oh, like the testimonial. The testimonial, the testimonial

Starting point is 00:03:45 in the middle. Got it, got it, all right. Responsibly sourced a pragmatic outlook for change and growth. We're talking about Vaseline. Okay. What? Wait, hold on.

Starting point is 00:04:05 I want to hear more. Vaseline. You have overlooked it for years. It's just an item in your medicine cabinet. But did you know you can eat up to three tablespoons of Vaseline every day? It's not just a brand name, it's a meal. Vaseline. I mean, I'm just going to guess that that's not one of their suggested uses for the product.

Starting point is 00:04:40 No, no. That they probably don't want people. Look, if you guys are just going to give me notes, let me hear what he has. No, but I got that. I mean, I was just going to say, message received. I mean, I got some Vaseline at home. I'm going to dig into that bad boy. Yeah, I'm going to get a spoonful.

Starting point is 00:04:56 Three tablespoons, you say? Vaseline. We polish our domes and make some bold decisions as we draft our dream rosters of smooth headed video game characters this week on Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Anne Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Weiger. That's me, Nick Tiger Weiger, and I'm here with our third host, Matt Abedaca. Hello, everyone.

Starting point is 00:05:47 Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premier video game podcast, where this week we are doing something that only Nick Tiger Weiger wanted to do. This one's straight from the dome, as it were. And you know what? I say let my man cook. Yeah, let him cook, sure. But what is he cooking? It's still runny. It's been several hours I think it's an egg You wouldn't know cuz you can't get one open Wow, how dare you look you're gonna come from my guy. I got it. I got it defend my guy Look am I sorry yes, am I scared yes

Starting point is 00:06:25 Let me let me say something. First off. My arms are covered in tattoos. I know. I'm marked for death. Let me say this. First off, I am not out of episode ideas. So that's not where this is coming from. I have plenty of episode ideas. There wasn't TBD on the calendar and it didn't need to be immediately filled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

Starting point is 00:06:50 This was Nick being like, what if we did this? And me going, ah, they'll forget about that. They'll forget about that in an hour or two. You see that, I then, I become the Antonio Banderas meme, and I'm putting my hand to my mouth, and I'm sort of going, oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:07:06 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:07:12 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:07:19 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. like this doesn't usually happen on the show. We don't like say what the title of the episode is. Right.

Starting point is 00:07:27 You gotta hit them with the title I think though, right? Want me to do it now? You know what? They haven't earned it. They haven't earned it because you know what? I'm hearing the seed of doubt and the seed of judgment has been sowed and I don't know if they're ready

Starting point is 00:07:42 to really grasp what it actually is do you do you? Isn't the title going to be on the title of the episode so yeah, but you would be surprised How comprehensive and how much information is in there it one people still be like I don't know what the heck Wow, I was surprised when I turned it on and then to there's actually not enough information in there I wish there was more information. Nobody's happy. Yeah, I was surprised when I turned it on. And then two, there's actually not enough information in there, I wish there was more information. Nobody's happy. Yeah. I think there are a lot of people who have autoplay

Starting point is 00:08:11 on their apps and they don't really process episode titles or they see there's a new get play and they're like, oh, okay, and then they just put it on. It just got pushed into their feed and they think about it beyond that. Oh, a new get play. I'm, they often cook, I'm gonna let them and them and I pop that on I don't even care what it is You're looking at I hope Matt's little games in the episode. This is what they're saying

Starting point is 00:08:34 This one demented listener listening in a straight jacket It's an Arkham Asylum. Yeah. Even the Joker is like, this guy's crazy. Freak likes magical games. Jesus Christ. Have you guys seen the Joker? It's the only time a Joker parody has ever made me laugh.

Starting point is 00:09:01 It came out in the last couple of weeks. It's the, the It's the Woker. No, that sounds good. Yeah, it does sound good. God damn it. It is so fucking good. Post it in the group chat after the show. I absolutely will.

Starting point is 00:09:14 Shout out to the Woker. You actually made me laugh with a Joker parody. Pretty fucking good. I mean, what I'm imagining may be vastly different than what it is, but I like what's in my head. And if it's what Nick's thinking, I'm pissed. We got a lot of show today and the first thing we always do is discuss some video games that we've been playing lately.

Starting point is 00:09:39 It's time for What Are You Playing? What are you playing? Hey, it's me the Resident Evil Merchant and I'm here to ask you what you've been playing. But first, I gotta ask you guys, evolution, yay or nay? That's a yay for me, Resident Evil Merchant. I think the science seems to be pretty sound. I just heard about it this week.

Starting point is 00:10:03 Evolution. You just heard about it. Sapiens, what is the sapiens I just heard about it this week. Evolution. You just heard about it. Sapiens, what is a sapien? I heard about it. The only reason I'm gonna say nay is because look what we did. We've given it all and look what we did with it.

Starting point is 00:10:17 Right. I kinda am like, if I was still, you know, homo erectus, is that who we're talking about? What? You're a Homo sapien. If I was still a Homo sapien. No, you are.

Starting point is 00:10:32 I'm a Homo sapien. No, you are a Homo sapien. Who's the guy before? Well, there's Homo erectus, but I don't know if a Homo erectus was a direct ancestor of Homo sapiens or if it was one of those parallel, you know, human-like beings that would eventually died out in Homo sapiens or in supreme. I don't know. The end of dollars.

Starting point is 00:10:49 Let me just say it this way. Yeah. Abolish. I'm further along in the chart than I would have cared for. I would have, I think I would have preferred to have been sooner. Thank you very much. Can you go backwards?

Starting point is 00:11:07 Can you devolve? Yeah, yeah, go in the opposite direction. I wanted to be a fish We like a dog. Can you just imagine how much more peaceful in existence? Yeah, even though that you have the the looming threat of one being swallowed by a bigger fish. There's always a bigger fish Or being yanked out of your home and killed. It's weird that fish can, they move up and down, we can only move side to side. Yeah. Yeah. They can go up or down. You can navigate a little more freely.

Starting point is 00:11:43 Fish are more like birds than people. Wow, are fish more like birds than people? I think you just learned about evolution. I think you just need to cool it for a second. I don't know if you know what you're talking about actually. Well, a fish goes up and down and side to side and the birds go up and down and side to side. It's a compelling point. They got those little bones too. and the birds go up and down, as I just said.

Starting point is 00:12:05 No, you're right. Compelling point. They got those little bones, too. Yeah, they've got access to a whole different axis, whereas we're just kind of X and Y. Damn, they got access to an axis. Right. This week on Deadblade, fish are birds.

Starting point is 00:12:20 Yeah, Nick, I don't co-sign that last joke. And that's a math word for you. And you actually probably didn't even think I was that smart. That's pretty good. That's very good. I'm like freaking, I'm like the Hamilton guy over here. Why do you write like you're running out of time? Resident Evil Merchant, I don't know, I mean, I guess it's good that you're continually learning more and more about our world.

Starting point is 00:12:50 Yeah, I would say, you know, evolution, do your own research, but I think it seems to be pretty... That's an important point. Everyone needs to do their own research. Everyone should be doing their own research. Everybody should be doing their own research. You can get a library card and do it whenever you want. I will heartily endorse the library.

Starting point is 00:13:07 Yeah, they love the library. A third space, a place where you can spend time without spending money. Yeah. Not a lot of stickers allowed in the books. No. Nick, what are you playing? I would not put a sticker on a library book.

Starting point is 00:13:20 They tend to frown upon that. If there was a sticker book at the library, I would have to guess that a lot of those stickers have been unstuck and then placed somewhere else. I can't imagine as many stickers left at this point, yeah. God, remember a sticker book? A lot of fun. Those ones that stunk were good.

Starting point is 00:13:36 The ones that's like a scratch and stiff sticker? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you classify it as they stink. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like any of those smells, but it was neat that they did it. Nick wanted a plan. I imagine the Resident Evil Merchant got one and like the smells were, it was like a sticker of a dead dog.

Starting point is 00:13:52 Wasn't like a strawberry. Like a dead dog, like a wet dead dog. Yeah. A strawberry that grew out of a dead dog. Yeah. Just a wound. Green herb. Red herb. Yeah. a strawberry that grew out of a dead dog.

Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah. Just a wound. Green herb, red herb. You know what does a green herb smell like? Mint. I have an idea what it smells like, my man. And let me tell you, you might find out on a day I like to call 420.

Starting point is 00:14:20 I'm of course speaking of the plant marijuana. Oh, a weedsman are you? Yeah, I was just thinking about this a second ago and I do have to voice this out loud before we continue further. We all just ate a burrito. Yeah. I kind of feel like I'm on one.

Starting point is 00:14:38 You think you're on one from eating that burrito? I think it kind of charged me up. I kind of feel like I'm on one. On a burrito! No, just like one. Metaphorically on one. Just kind of feel like I'm on one. I'm a burrito. No, just like one. Metaphorically on. Just sort of like, I feel like a little silly. That can happen. On a roll.

Starting point is 00:14:50 I usually get groggy from a heavy meal, but I'm not feeling particularly groggy right now. That was good. Yeah. Five forks, I say. Nice meal. All right. Calm down. Music Music

Starting point is 00:15:06 Music Music Music Resident Evil Merchant, what I've been playing is an indie game called Keep Driving. This was developed by a team of... Laughter Laughter My brain immediately assembled what the game is. A team of... My brain immediately assembled what the game is.

Starting point is 00:15:35 You see something horrible on the side of the road. You have a prompt and it's stop or keep driving and Dad is at the wheel and mom is just screaming, keep driving, keep driving. The game is basically the exact opposite vibes of that actually. This is a really chill game. This was developed by Joseph Martynowski and Christopher Anderson. This is a two person team who calls themselves YCJY, located in Sweden. This is an open road RPG where you're a young adult in the early 2000s on an aimless cross-country road trip.

Starting point is 00:16:14 There's this soothing pixel art aesthetic. It reminds me to some degree. This isn't one-to-one. It's a little bit more lo-fi than that, but it has the same sort of nice pixel art portraits of something like coffee talk. Okay. And it's a fictionalized world. It's not explicitly to the US, but it does seem like it's analogous to American geography

Starting point is 00:16:34 and car culture, which also means this game has one of my favorite things, which is the European take on America, which I always love saying. Anyway, so basically what happens is you drive from checkpoint to checkpoint on this this map of this continent, you keep your car gassed up, you repair it, you customize it, and you make sure you're rested and fed. And that's kind of the game. You can get status effects like you get cold or you get sad. And then you can fix those by like buying a hot coffee or finding a porno mag in the woods. There's these encounters that happen that are a little everyone just blaze past And then you can fix those by like buying a hot coffee or finding a porno mag in the woods There's these encounters that happen that are a little everyone just blaze past that I thought someone was saying about my porno mag thing It's the thing that happened in the game you find a porno mag in the way

Starting point is 00:17:14 I just kind of feel like it's like a thing that happens It doesn't seem weird to me Yeah, I was like no I like that's happened to me. I've seen that It was somewhere around forest born so how does it get there? Where people? I mean, they're just jacking off in the woods I guess just leaving it The encounters I will say they're a little they're a little abstract even though I do like what what is effectively the combat system So it'll be a thing like you're else. They like you're pulled over by the cops Yeah, and you'll see this there's there's a there's a a lot of art in this game and there's a lot of animation in this game.

Starting point is 00:17:46 So it's like, all this stuff will be fully rendered. So like a police cruiser will pull you over. But during this encounter, it will have, various icons will come up on screen. And then the way you do various moves is that you can kind of cancel out those individual icons. Icon signifying things like, you know, durability of your car, fuel, people's moods, money.

Starting point is 00:18:10 And so it's, so like you'll use like a certain ability, like basic, like step on the gas and that ability will cancel out, will neutralize certain of those icons. It's a little bit hard to describe when you're playing it. It makes a little bit more sense, but also it's still it's still it's not necessarily one-to-one with what's happening in on screen and what's happening in that reality. So it's just kind of like feels a little bit

Starting point is 00:18:35 mini-gamey and detached, but it's okay because it's not really like the whole point of the game. The game is mostly vibes. And a big part of the game that is great is picking up hitchhikers. So during the course of some runs, I picked up an old hiker who wanted to be taken up to the mountains and he was just like a super old guy. They've all got unique banter. He had like sort of a British way of talking. I don't know if that comes from the game's authors being European or specifically meant

Starting point is 00:19:04 to be affected as a Brit. But his stats take a dive when you go into cities, because he likes country life. There's the scumbag, and he keeps getting chased by loan sharks. You'll get to a certain town, and loan sharks will show up and try to threaten him, and you'll have to pay him off or whatever.

Starting point is 00:19:20 He would also steal your money while you were sleeping to gamble. There's a guy who keeps falling asleep, but he has certain abilities to only work while he's asleep. And then there's a character who I think is the most talked about character in this game is the Hurricane, who's this cool young woman who just turns out to be out of her fucking mind. One of the quests she gave, because they all have their own unique quests and a lot of

Starting point is 00:19:39 times they're like, hey, take me to this place, take me to this festival, take me to this the hiker one to be taken to the mountains. Her unique, one of her requests is, I want you to drive drunk. Anyway, it's really fun, has a lot of character. I was surprised it was as robust as having like a side quest where, or type of side quest where you get out of the car and explore an area in first person mode and kind of a grid based, you know, look around and find treasure.

Starting point is 00:20:08 And the vibes, as I mentioned, are absolutely impeccable. There's nice moments when you're driving, you just have a Zen breakthrough, looking at clouds, and you know, that could affect your stats, they'll give you a perk. There's a whole skill tree that's got a lot going on. I find low stakes role playing really comforting. It's the same sort of feeling I get from something like Stardew Valley of like

Starting point is 00:20:28 yeah you can't there is a way you can stress out about this there's a way you can min-max this but even the fail state isn't like horrible in this game and you can kind of you know avoid it pretty easily like it's it's not super it's not a punishing sort of rogue likeelike run based game. I mean, there's a stretch I played for two and a half hours one session without really even noticing it because it's just sort of like, you know, you're just kind of living in it. And I think it's been really well received for that reason.

Starting point is 00:20:56 One thing I will say, so I did end one run and I picked the boringest, most Weiger end possible which is just I went to a town and I got a job. And it's great because the ending is just like, you know, you go to work now, you kind of abandon the road, I guess this is your life. I really enjoyed this game and I think it's like if you're looking for something comforting, or just a good mood piece, I think keep driving, I've had a lot of fun with it. So that's what I've been playing. Yeah, I had not even heard of that,

Starting point is 00:21:30 so I just wishlisted it because I'd be curious to checking it out. Yeah, I guess I have more to say, but you can come back to me because I've been dominating the conversation. Heather, what are you playing? But that's how that works, is what you're playing. You can dominate the conversation want to hear it all right

Starting point is 00:21:47 So last week we used RNG to pick the game of my backlog I play next the ranch number generator for the ranch number generator case Final Fantasy 7 rebirth one and I started playing it the very next day I played it for like five hours straight on the day after we last recorded What a fucking video So good, I'm so glad I forced myself to come back to it I can't believe I almost just skipped it because it was just kind of like all right I played remake if you played remake and you loved remake and you're like I don't really need more of it play rebirth because it's Like perfected remake. It's so fucking good

Starting point is 00:22:23 And I am glad to hear that a lot of people are giving it a second glance now that it's on PC apparently it's been selling quite Well, yeah on Steam It's maybe supplanted Alan Wake 2 last I said was like the best-looking game. I've ever played it's like maybe taking that slot Yeah, but then they also realized what happened is that I bought I built a new PC So like I was part of part of what I'm reacting to but it is a gorgeous game Everything's gonna be gorgeous, and also, it's just like more, it's just nicer to look at than Alan Wake 2,

Starting point is 00:22:52 because there's just like, you know, like grass and bright colors and things like that. There's so much diversity of the biomes and in the palette, and the character animation is so incredibly lush. The side note, Tetsuya Nomura's character designs for Final Fantasy 7 are are those like the best ever for a roster top to bottom? Because it's like you look at that I'm trying to think what else is even in the running something like Street Fighter 2 of course like every character pops every character Yeah, immediately identifiable, but find my sevens characters. You look at all of them like God

Starting point is 00:23:22 They all are so fucking and that's quite a silhouette test That's exactly exactly who everybody is yeah And they look at the the you know the the the modern the contemporary redesigns that of course were established in remake But are are done so well in rebirth Yes, so much so much animation level of polish were even minor cutscenes like you're just talking to a random NPC And it's fully voiced, fully animated camera blocked. It's like Baldur's Gate 3 does the same thing where every single one is treated with the same level of care, but it really is something.

Starting point is 00:23:53 And Contra Alan Wake 2 where it wasn't quite sold on the combat, here the combat is so good. It's so kinetic. It is fun. It's rewarding. I'm excited for battles to begin. I liked it in remake, but I really, it's rewarding, I'm excited for battles to begin. I liked it in remake, but I really like it in rebirth. It's got the hybrid, and people who play the first

Starting point is 00:24:11 one are familiar with how it is, but I'll just say it anyway. It's got this hybrid action slash JRPG menu combat, kind of like real time with pause, and it's engaging and overwhelming, but manageable because you have time to evaluate what you you're going to do Yeah, but you're also like it rewards just hot swapping between characters so often and and that's that's the thing that I've just sort of like I'm getting back into the rhythm of after having played a bunch of remake of like, oh, yeah, right Basically as soon as I start Whatever the as soon as I start this attack as soon as I start this animation I switched to another character so I can you know Start going ham with them

Starting point is 00:24:48 I'm playing with Japanese vo because that's how I played remake and really dig the performances The thing is that they introduced so many systems like immediately that is kind of hard to track keep track of everything like they Don't stop coming. They don't stop They just keep coming like the first like 10 hours of gameplay, just like here's a thing after thing after new thing, and you're still getting a grasp on the old thing. And also remembering stuff from remake if you played that. I can't even remember what elements of all the upgrade systems and what have you

Starting point is 00:25:15 or carryovers from remake, but it is still really, really good. I'm so into doing all the shitty little side quests. They're all awesome. Matt, and I say that with affection. You know what I mean. Like it's just like, we know what kind of side quests I'm talking about, but they're all really fun in this. My question for you, Matt, as someone who played Rebirth

Starting point is 00:25:35 as one of Rebirth's biggest advocates, how do you feel about Chadley? I'd kill a man to save Chadley. Chadley is my guy. Chadley, I love Chadley. He's just a little dork. He's just a little sniveling dork that wants data. He's so great. But he rocks. And then like, he's like, I don't know, he's a necessary NPC. Yeah, I can't believe there's like, there's apparently an anti-Chadley movement. I can't believe it. I think it's

Starting point is 00:26:00 because he's not in the original game. So he's like not Chadley's not part of it But I think like he's cool. He's cool like when you start to find the different things in the environment I Can't remember what they're called presently, but there's like these things that like a bird will lead you to that sort of like you can do sort of Like minigames sort of a quick time event to unlock this thing and that makes the boss encounters that he has easier, kind of, and that's just, I don't know, the whole game sort of like works together to make this like just beautiful system.

Starting point is 00:26:36 And I described it to you, I think, in the past as the Kingdom Hearts 2 of Final Fantasy VII's, and it really does sort of follow that by it is exactly Just more than remake. Yes, where remake was a huge leap forward from original 7. It's like, okay now that we're here Let's get fucking crazy with it Like let's go nuts you're gonna see cloud flying around that battlefield and when you're start adding different materials and things like that It's also like 7 remake is so centered on Midgar and rebirth You're basically are immediately into this this open world into these grasslands. Yeah, and and it feels so

Starting point is 00:27:13 expansive and I don't know it just just kind of has like a different sort of cadence to it Yeah, it's quite a disc to really really really enjoying the shit out of it One more thing. I'll just mention is Queen's blood Queen's blood the card game don't even fucking get me started We'll be here all fucking day if I start talking about how good Queen's blood is it's really simple And it's so much about like controlling the board But it's super fun And I want to beat every car Queen there there been there there been plentys where I've just bounced off the card game

Starting point is 00:27:45 and like whatever, I'm just gonna ignore this fucking thing. This is one like triple triad, I'm like every single person I can challenge to Queen's Blood and playing Queen's Blood. If only they had the fucking balls to release it as a standalone game. Yeah, I wonder. It's so good. Rebirth rocks.

Starting point is 00:28:00 You're next Heather. On Rebirth? Yeah. Well, I won't lie. This last week, I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a PS5 Pro. Wow. Let's go. The reason I did it...

Starting point is 00:28:14 You're a professional. ...was I'm a professional. I'm a professional gamer. I wear a suit and tie when I play a game. I'm a pro. Was that I finally, like when if pro first came out, the list of games that were enhanced were so slight that I was like, eh.

Starting point is 00:28:33 But now I would say the majority of my library is PS5 Pro enhanced. So it's like, okay, I'll get the system. And the three games that I downloaded for it were Fortnite, of course, I got to do my daily driver, but also Kingdom Come Deliverance and Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth. With my intention being, I've heard that this system makes Rebirth look spectacular. I should just drop in, I should join up with Nick. I made the mistake of first... dropping back into Kingdom Come. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:10 Just to see how it looked by comparison. And it looked so much better than on the regular PS5... that I was like, oh, wow, this is really pretty. And then I just kind of went on a couple of attempts at quests. Yeah. As we know from last time, I don't know what I'm fucking doing in the game. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Starting point is 00:29:33 I, like, I know there's a wedding, and I know that I have to do stuff in order to get the wedding, but I don't know how to get to the people who are going to help me get into the wedding. So I started with a side quest. I started with the same side quest I was on the last time I talked about the game, which is how is my dog, is my dog okay? Now, I have an answer to your question from last week, which is, do you have to use a consumable in order to save?

Starting point is 00:30:00 Yes. The answer is yes. You have to either make the potion in order to save or you can save an exit and then start by continuing, but that's the only way, those are the only ways to save the game. Like if you're going out on a long run, it's Elden Ring style where it's like, god damn it. If I go around a corner and there's a dude on a horse with a fucking bow and arrow,

Starting point is 00:30:28 I'm toast. So it sort of inspires fear and cautiousness. It's like the ink ribbon in Resident Evil. It's like it's a consumable resource to give yourself a checkpoint. Yeah, so I headed out to where my dog was last seen. And the last two times I tried it before this week's episode, I come upon a guy

Starting point is 00:30:55 and he just starts walking at me and he's like, what do you want? And I trigger the dialogue and I'm like, ah, no, nothing here, buddy. And he's like, come here. And I'm like, nope, nothing here, buddy. And he's like, come here. And I'm like, oh fuck. And what I've learned by dying to this one man multiple times is that he is the start of the dog quest.

Starting point is 00:31:19 And so finally I go, I tried sneaking up on him thinking I could get like a secret kill. Couldn't do that, you know, And so finally, I tried sneaking up on him, thinking I could get like a secret kill, couldn't do that. You know, cause you couldn't like jump a dude from behind. I tried coming around a different direction. No, I'm too low leveled to sneak. So finally I was like, God, I just have to beat this fucking dude once. Draw my, I think I have a wooden sword.

Starting point is 00:31:44 I don't even know what the fuck I'm armed with, and I engaged in a very thrilling and very challenging battle with this one dude. Again, maybe I haven't equipped, maybe I dropped something, I don't know, but finally kill the guy. Yeah. And I'm like oh shit oh fuck I did it okay okay okay take off all his clothes put them on my body because I have no no fucking armor uh take his sword and like oh my god I have

Starting point is 00:32:18 an actual fucking sword let's go and I go over to look at what he was doing because kind of hunched over something in the grass and it's a dead go and I go over to look at what he was doing because he's kind of hunched over something in the grass and it's a dead body and I was like, wait, what the fuck was this guy doing to this dead body? There's no way to know. He's dead, there's no clues, your guy is as dumb as you are, so he just goes, what was happening here?

Starting point is 00:32:38 And you're like, I don't know. And then you see a dead dog in the grass and I'm like, mother fuck, this game is brutal. Wow. And I walk over and I'm like, I can't handle this. I can't fucking handle it. And you get up and he's saying, oh, please don't let that be mutt.

Starting point is 00:32:57 Please don't let that be mutt. Oh God. You go up into the grass and it's a deer carcass. And I was like, wow, the game got me. Like I had the feeling of the guy where I was like, oh no, not my dog. Like my one mission, did I not get here in time? So then I dragged that guy's body into the river

Starting point is 00:33:18 because I was like, I don't know how often there's a guard that walks past here. I washed off myself so I'm not covered in blood. And he's like, maybe the old lady that helped me out, well, maybe she saw the mud. So I go to her house and she took care of me last time. I'm fucked up from my fight. And I'm like, hey, have you seen my dog?

Starting point is 00:33:42 And she's like, no, but I need you to hold my phone. My granddaughter is kidnapped. And I'm like, oh, have you seen my dog? And she's like, no, but I need you to hold my phone. My granddaughter is kidnapped. And I'm like, oh, God, OK. And I think, oh, she has a bed here she let me use before. I'm going to lay down in her bed and take a nap so that I can heal. When I woke up, the old lady is screaming. And she's like, get out of my house.

Starting point is 00:34:03 Get out! And I was like, fuck out of my house. Get out! I was like, fuck, oh no! And I'm up in the corner, it goes, reputation destroyed. Oh my god. This happens to you in every game. So I was like, I can't, I'm really trying to play an honorable run, so I, by choice, exited my own game and I had to go all the way back. Oh my god. an honorable run, so I, by choice, exited my own game and had to go all the way back. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:34:28 So I have yet to beat this man. This game sounds like a nightmare. It is so good, I have accomplished nothing. That's what I've been playing. Matt, what have you been playing? I'm glad you asked, Heather. I'm basically at the final boss of Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance. Wow. I finished the Sora story, and I'm now in the final stages of the Riku story, and then

Starting point is 00:35:11 it's done. I'm still playing a vowed, enjoying that. I think it's a very good game. I just discovered that you can have a gun. Love that. And it's like you could have like a spear or like an axe or like a mace or a wand or a gun. In Kingdom Come Deliverance, I was watching clips to try and like figure out what I was doing wrong.

Starting point is 00:35:35 Yeah. And one of the clips is he has a gun, but it's like a medieval gun. So it takes him like 45 real time seconds to load the gun as knights are charging him. It's very, very funny to me. I'm enjoying that. It's like, there's funny, I'm getting too into the side quests, I think, because they're all very interesting.

Starting point is 00:35:58 I like, there was a side quest that Maddie Myers of TripleClick wrote about, and I had seen her piece about it after I had done the side quest, where you help a sex worker smuggle birth control. And was like, surely nobody has a bad opinion about this. But it was such an amazing and cool, to me that was like, this is extremely cool

Starting point is 00:36:22 that this is in a video game. You have to lie to these guys that took it, because they know what it is too. It was like this is extremely cool that this is in a video game You have to like lie to like these guys that like took it because they know what it is to it's like a crazy thing I loved it. There's other really great side quests in the game, but I need to I think start You know just moving a little bit forward in it. I'm loving my wizard build so far. I only have a basic spell book But you know I can do ice electricity or fire or heal myself basically but I did bring in something that I want to share. Oh This is exciting. I brought in this is a segment. I'm gonna call Matt's hole Matt's

Starting point is 00:37:00 hole And it's not as We Can we... I just know that this is not... I think there's some listeners who have maybe not heard the genesis of this. Heather has a whole. Heather's segment, Heather has a retro gaming segment, Heather's whole. This is an homage to Heather. This is an homage. Okay, got it.

Starting point is 00:37:23 So what I... That's whole. It's been a minute. It's been a minute, we've been done in a while. This is a regular Game Boy Advance SP. Okay. I'll hand that over to you. Okay. I'm gonna hand over a regular Game Boy Advance to Heather. These are both my original Game Boy Advances.

Starting point is 00:37:35 Aw, what a sweet little boy this is. And then this right here is an Anbernic RG35XX, which is a reproduction of a Game Boy Advance SP-like system. Wow. And this is an Anbernic RG34XX, which is basically one-to-one Game Boy Advance. Now, the reason I have both of these is because they're extremely inexpensive to get. The SP model is not one-to-one. is because they're extremely inexpensive to get. The SP model is not one-to-one.

Starting point is 00:38:11 It's very close, but yeah, it's not exactly one-to-one. It's actually a little bulkier than the SP. It's a little bulkier, and the screen is not quite the same in terms of scaling, whereas the Game Boy Advance one, the regular model, is basically the exact same size. Wow. The same scale, but not the same size screen. No, yeah, exactly. The screen is bigger, but it's the correct dimension

Starting point is 00:38:37 so everything scales correctly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of either smushing or stretching the screens. And the buttons on the RG34 are preferable to me than the ones on the 35. Sure. The RG134, is that what this is called? The RG34, yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:55 The RG34. It visually looks almost identical to this Game Boy Advance. Yes. But you really get a sense of, there's some secret sauce to. The Nintendo D-pad. Nintendo's buttons and their D-pad are so.

Starting point is 00:39:13 Yes. So clicky. Here, let me trade these with Nick so he can see. And you can see the difference. The difference on the SP and Burnick is that I think they use a plastic membrane on the buttons. Okay the membrane on the 34 is Closer to rubber I think or is rubber

Starting point is 00:39:34 but it's much better than How it is because the the SP the buttons are too clicking in too loud for me but I've been really, really enjoying my time with the 34, the regular, I don't know what you call that shape, the horizontal Game Boy Advance model, because that was my first Game Boy Advance and I was really enjoying it. But it can play up to, it can play past the Game Boy Advance

Starting point is 00:40:03 in terms of what it's able to do. So there are scan lines on the 34 that aren't present on this unit. Can you change the scan line? I think you can. I did install a different OS on this. I wonder if that wiped the scan lines from it or something. But I do think the overall,

Starting point is 00:40:22 the experience overall on the The 34 has been much better so far I Did start playing a Pokemon ROM hack on it, which I've not ever Thought to play before but a lot of people in the discord were like you got to play one of these ROM hacks So I'm playing Pokemon unbound on this thing. Wow, it's just kind of like it's kind of the thing about it That's so crazy to me is that because of it being a Gameboy, just basically a one-to-one Gameboy Advance

Starting point is 00:40:50 with like scan lines and proper scaling, it's like I'm playing a Gameboy Advance Pokemon game that I've never played before, which is an odd experience. And the fact that somebody on their own, maybe not on their own, but like independently of the Pokemon company and Nintendo made this is fascinating to me because they just reuse assets from different Pokemon games and they include other Pokemon from various generations and they just make their own story.

Starting point is 00:41:23 And I just think it's so impressive and so cool. So I don't remember if I said I'm playing Pokemon Unbound. And it's unbelievable just what you can do, what people can do better than the Pokemon Company. It's very interesting to me. There's missions that aren't just go to town, get gym, leave town. There's like, you'll find NPCs with like thought bubbles over their heads

Starting point is 00:41:48 And you talk to them. They're like oh like I need you to save a hundred times Like that's not like that interesting of a mission right? But like you'll do that over the course of your gameplay And then you'll come back later on and get a reward from that person when the thing is done That's cool like and there's other things that are a little more intricate than that like oh catch this Pokemon For me or whatever and I'll do something for you or whatever it's Unbelievable to me that this exists and is very cool and also

Starting point is 00:42:14 Also, I should know I caught the vanilla ice cream Pokemon, and I named it after wiger I thought that was a really really nice tribute. I appreciate that. Vanilla is a flavor baby. Vanilla is a flavor I'm by the way. I the reason I haven't been talking is because I've just been playing Yoshi's Island on the game Real real fucking good game. This is a real just a really good game Yeah, you know what? I bet would look really good on that screen probably Final Fantasy Tactics advanced I was gonna say mother three. Oh, yeah I haven't installed in there. I have a bunch of classics that I've played through on there.

Starting point is 00:42:48 What else are Tactics Advanced? I have Tactics Advanced and I've, there's like RPGs from the Game Boy Advance era that I didn't play because I was not into those games. So games like Sword of Mana and Golden Sun that I have been interested in my entire life that I think I'll probably maybe give a spin on. I think Final Fantasy 6 on a Game Boy Advance screen

Starting point is 00:43:07 is actually really pleasant as well. I have it on there, so I'm excited to dig into it. But notice how quiet those buttons are. They make a sound. But the clickiness of even the D-pad on the SP one is just a little, not my favorite. But I do, but I, but I you know great little device This is really cool piece of hardware. What was the impetus for that?

Starting point is 00:43:29 Did you did you have these or did you have an analog pocket? So I have an analog pocket I have a retro it pocket. I think what the impetus is that I'm sick I'm a sick. I'm a sicko I have you know DS's that are modded and get these that are modded and I do I sure by now I'm I'm I'm I think I'm Johnny handheld I Get the handheld is this a new nickname you the Xbox kid you're Johnny handheld. I think I'm Johnny handheld Wow The finisher I'm the finisher. I'm the Xbox kid what else are we what am I missing um? Nick's foil We're sort of a team actually Xbox kid what else are we what am I missing um? next foil

Starting point is 00:44:05 We're sort of a team actually No like what actually got me interested in that was that it's the influence of YouTube like I'll watch YouTube videos of like retro handhelds and stuff and the I Watch this channel, sometimes Retro Game Core, this guy Russ, he does great videos about the hardware and his video on this one in particular sold me specifically because of the scaling of the screen because even on analog pocket,

Starting point is 00:44:43 it'll scale correctly but it'll be in black box It'll have like a sort of added bezel to it, so it's a little bit smaller It's not flushing. It's not filling the screen and that to me is like it's fine It gets the job done, but I think the pocket is best when it's um The right ratio it's the right ratio. Yeah Nick's loving Yoshi's Island. I gotta stop playing this game. I'm sorry. It's okay. He's stuck Nick's loving Yoshi's Island. I gotta stop playing this game, I'm sorry. It's okay.

Starting point is 00:45:04 He's stuck. The baby crying, I can't get the baby. Also, every muscle in his body is locked in tents. But yeah, that came in the mail literally over the weekend, the new one, the 34, which was exciting to me. So I spent my weekend playing a Game Boy Advance. I love to hear that. This is one of my favorite, just playing this game,

Starting point is 00:45:30 because you mentioned Baby Mario, who, of course, you have on your back. As you play as Yoshi in this game, people complained about Baby Mario's crying is annoying. And that's by design, because they found that when when the crying was less annoying that players would not prioritize rescuing Mario and that people would rescue baby Mario basically just to shut him up and

Starting point is 00:45:55 then you're just like oh mother nature is something of a game designer. His actual babies are annoying as shit when they're crying and so you want to go take care of them man God the original gamer But that's what I've been playing these are rad these are this is this is rad hardware And they're not I think all told I was out the door like 70 bucks on that bad boy like that right not too crazy for a You know cuz there's like a there's a market for like modded Gameboy advances They're like you know can be pretty costly like they if they're gonna put like an OLED screen in or something or an SD card slot or whatever whatever

Starting point is 00:46:50 mods you want a USB-C charger like I see them done there they look really nice because they're in the original thing and that's about as close as you can get to it I think I I spent some of my weekend researching, because when I move, I'm going to wire all of my retro systems permanently into a working solution so that I can turn on any one of them and they'll appear on the proper monitor. So I'm looking at an Xtron crosspoint. I'm looking at maybe SCART switching stations.

Starting point is 00:47:21 I'm just sussing out different options. And while I was doing this, I was like, you know, I have a lot of optical drive emulators on a lot of my retro systems. The Saturn has an optical drive emulator. I have a Dreamcast with an optical drive emulator. And I would say that the Mega SD effectively emulates the Sega CD as an optical drive emulator,

Starting point is 00:47:41 even though it's not actually there. So I'm doing all this research and kind of starting to schematic out how I want this system to be set up. And then I was like, oh, you know what I should get is a PlayStation 2 optical drive emulator, and then I can have all of the PlayStation 2 games running on the original hardware.

Starting point is 00:48:02 Looked it up, one does not exist, because the PS2 is very, very hard to emulate. Yeah. And then also, like the top Reddit comment was, nobody wants this. What do you mean? And I was like, at what point did I, what, what, because it's-

Starting point is 00:48:20 Nobody wants this. PlayStation has an optical drive emulator. Yeah. And PS3 allows you to play, with the original PS3, allows you to play PS2 games. So nobody is in the market for a PS2 optical drive emulator except me. Except Heather Campbell.

Starting point is 00:48:41 Because I want one that plays all of the PS2 games outputted to a CRT monitor without any lag. And I know people are like, oh, this has no lag or that has no lag. But they all have just the whisper of lag makes me feel like I'm not playing the actual thing. And that's also part of the thing that I have to make sure that my multi-monitor, multi-game system hookup has is lagless pass-through. Cause I don't want there to be like even a whisper, even a ghost of lag. But yeah, nobody makes a PS2 ODE.

Starting point is 00:49:25 So now you know. Now I know, but you could, I mean, gosh, well you want the hardware emulation is what you want. Like you want the, yeah, so getting one of these wouldn't really solve that. It's like, you know, they sell them, sometimes they sell them with cards that have the games on them already We could buy a raspberry pie that plays ps2 games. Yeah, but it's not really but it's not it doesn't it's not quite the same

Starting point is 00:49:51 No, right me I Will say one thing about holding a Gameboy Advance again is you know I like I like that SP and I use I play In a plane they even though I got a Gameboy Advance at launch, I end up playing the SP more. Particularly the SP light, the revision that had the, I can't remember which one of them had a front light, one of them had a back light, whichever the revision was. It was a really great screen.

Starting point is 00:50:16 But your hands are a little cramped in that thing. The holding on the other sides of the screen, which obviously they've retained for things like the switch of the stream, the steam deck is just such a more natural position for your wrists and your thumbs. It really is. Like I truly spent hours and hours and hours over the weekend just playing with it and was just like, I could do this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:35 I could do this all day. This is, and I effectively did on one of the days. Hey, speaking of spending hours and hours and hours playing something, our producer is Xiao Chen, Ranch, has been spending some time with a game of her own. Ranch, tell us about Hollow Knight. I am currently at 96% completion of Hollow Knight. Oh my goodness.

Starting point is 00:50:58 And I have had 92 hours of playtime. So the ratio is really bad. I feel like the last time we checked in on you, you were like at 30 hours. Did you, this ballooned in recent weeks? Yeah, because I realized that it's a great game to play while I'm deep bleeding audio, which is like a third of my workday.

Starting point is 00:51:17 Not on this show, certainly. This show is the longest. Not on this show certainly You're trying to beat a boss hearing me make some inane comment The one hand you're doing your job and then the other hand you like, then you're doing something you like. So. Yeah, I'm stuck. I don't think I can progress further than this. I technically have gotten an ending. Right.

Starting point is 00:51:57 But there's still like quite a few things that I haven't done that I know that can get me to the other endings. Is this one of those games that has an over 100% like threshold you can reach? Yeah, 112. Okay, I remember that, because my brother, I did finish this,

Starting point is 00:52:11 like finished this game completely, I remember him telling me about that, I don't remember what exactly that, you say 112? 112%. Okay, okay. I wanna say... You made a substantial dent in that

Starting point is 00:52:19 if you're at 96 out of a 100% plan. Yes, I'm extremely proud of you, Vance. This is huge. It's negatively impacting my life. in that if you're at 96 out of 100. Yes, I'm extremely proud of you, Vance. This is huge. It's negatively impacting my life. So if the audio this week isn't de-bled, you know why. But no, I think that if you got all the way to 96%, you could get the rest of the way.

Starting point is 00:52:40 I think you could do it. I believe in you. To borrow a phrase from another show, believe in the me that believes in you. Wow. When did you originally start? Because I had my experience with Hollow Knight. I have not finished Hollow Knight. I played a bit of Hollow Knight. I bounced off of it years ago. I know it's a game that if I actually dedicate some time to, I'll absolutely love it because exactly the kind of game that I love and everyone with good taste including you what seems really like this game but like What was your initial experience with Hollow Knight and what when did you finally get hooked?

Starting point is 00:53:12 My friends have been telling me to play it forever Yeah, and I think like the first 10 hours of it even I was not really there Right. I was like, I'm just aimlessly wandering around. I have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to be doing. And I don't know, they just got better. I was like starting to understand the point. Right, right. The bosses, I would like, I'm like, okay, this is how you beat the boss. I can do it. Because the combat's pretty like pretty challenging. And then it's a little bit inscrutable in terms of navigating the world. Like it's a little bit, it doesn't quite tell you

Starting point is 00:53:47 exactly where to go and what to do, you know? Right, that's your experience? Yeah, exactly. So it's a little bit of a black box in terms of getting into it. But yeah, once you get into it, okay, it's worth pushing past that initial phase. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:54:01 I'm glad, I wish you godspeed as you push ahead towards 112, but that sounds like you play the shit out of this game yeah I've almost thrown my steam deck wait so what is your workflow you've got your you've got the podcast audio like in your headphones and you're playing your steam deck handheld well when it's deep leading nothing is being played it just like processing okay so it's deep bleeding, nothing is being played. It's just like processing the audio attacks. So it's like. So this is like rendering.

Starting point is 00:54:29 This is like a passive process. Got it, got it. So you don't even have to listen to us. No. That sounds like paradise. It's probably the preferred way to experience the show. Is there a way I can do that while recording? All right, should we talk about bald characters?

Starting point is 00:54:48 Yeah, and Nick, what are we calling this? We're calling this Baldi's Gate. Again, we are not out of episode ideas. No, no, no, no, no, no. We are instead drafting our rosters of bald video game characters, because there are a lot of Baldis over the course of gaming history.

Starting point is 00:55:05 Yes. But the thing about this is we couldn't do this again. We couldn't do characters with hair draft because that's just too... That's too many. It's too many. You could maybe do characters with crazy hair draft. That's being successful. It doesn't sound like we're out of ideas, are we?

Starting point is 00:55:23 Kind of sounds like we got a lot left in the tank I have some rules questions for everyone my first question in terms of figuring out the parameters of this exercise our skeletons bald What the fuck? Yes, skeletons do count as bald. Okay. I think skeletons count as bald and I kind of want to put I want to put this out There yeah I'm going with the three hair maximum like the Homer Simpson Threshold. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I think if you have

Starting point is 00:55:53 less than three hairs You're bald, but if you got four Here's here's what I would just push splitting hairs. We would be Here's here's what here's here would be my counter Is is the Larry David theorem, which is that I feel like Larry David is a bald guy. Yes. He's got the wings, right? Like he's got male pattern baldness on top.

Starting point is 00:56:16 Yeah. So like I feel like if you do the Homer Simpson, like if you establish that as the rule of law, then you're excluding a lot of notable baldies who would just let it be natural. Aaron Powell That's true. You know what then? It's not a rule. Aaron Powell Okay.

Starting point is 00:56:34 My other thing is I feel like this is what I'll call the male commander shepherd for Mass Effect rule, which is that I don't think a close cut character, like a guy with my ... Even though I am balding, my hair as it is now I don't think a close cut character like a guy with my even though I am balding My hair as it is now. I've got this buzz cut. I don't think I'm like a bald guy No, this is not this would not be a bald characters. You would be considered a hair haver I think yeah, I'd be yeah, so like likely this should be these should be true chrome domes Yeah How many were drafting? I think we said four. Okay, four. We also then said Mount Baltimore.

Starting point is 00:57:05 Right, Mount Baltimore. We're drafting on Mount Baltimore. And I just know what it sounds like. And I feel like we have to get out against it. We gotta get out in front of it. We're not out of ideas. Actually, the truth is we have stuff locked in for other days.

Starting point is 00:57:24 We just didn't have one for this. And sometimes you just kind of come up of like locked in for other days. Yeah. We just didn't have one for this. And sometimes you just kind of come up with a really good idea close to when you're doing it. This is great. Oh, well, does that mean we're gonna pivot? This is Baldi's Gate. And I will start because I have a character

Starting point is 00:57:41 from its namesake Baldur's Gate, Minsc from Baldur's Gate. Okay, that's really good. Who is present in both the BioWare games and the Larian developed Baldur's Gate 3, my favorite game of all time. Minsc known for his undying devotion to his miniature giant space hamster Boo. Very funny character. One of the funniest characters not just in this franchise, but I would say in all of gaming very very hilarious dialogue and a just a just a

Starting point is 00:58:10 Ironclad Sort of persona that is just consistent throughout how he has written Also pretty useful party member who is an absolute unit just absolutely fucking jacked Yeah And I will say additionally and this is part of why I think he's a great pick as a bald character for my personal Mount Balmore, aesthetically he has this awesome face slash head tattoo that takes advantage of his bald scalp. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:37 So using that extra real estate for a little bit of body art. And I think that's part of why I think he fits so well. So Mince is my first pick. It's extremely cool. Yeah. As somebody with tattoos. Yeah. Which is all of us in this room.

Starting point is 00:58:52 Yes. Yeah. Save for Ranch. Who I believe is next. To become a tattooed person. Sounded threatening. We're not making Ranch get a tattoo. It's content, baby. No.

Starting point is 00:59:07 No. And I see people who look extremely cool with like face and neck tattoos like that go that extend toward like the top of the skull. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could pull it off. Yeah, you have to have the confidence in your own skin to do that. But yeah, I don't think I could pull it off Yeah, they gave you have to have the confidence in your own skin to do that But yeah, I don't think I could pull it off either, but but godspeed and minsk certainly pulls it off. It's looks great

Starting point is 00:59:31 I do want to point out that ranch made a Graphic for us it took the logo of Baldur's Gate And replaced the you and the are with a Y with with just a plain text Y. With a red background. Pretty good. It's very good. And with the appropriate attention to detail that this episode deserves.

Starting point is 00:59:55 Well, who wants to go next? Heather, would you like to go? Sure, I'll go next. Kratos, next. Are you fucking kidding me? Kratos has gotta be maybe the number one overall pick. I did not pick Kratos for myself, although I do like Kratos and he is a great baldy. But he also has the benefit, or not the benefit,

Starting point is 01:00:17 the, I feel like bald on top big beard is an extremely strong look. Yeah. Yeah, he's a big beard is good. Look. Yeah. Yeah. He said he's a he's a big dude I like him, you know his adventures through Norse mythology have been very pleasant and exciting Fucking game is still on my backlog the Ragnarok but I

Starting point is 01:00:43 don't know. He seems like, if I found out that Kratos was gonna be like training me, I'd be like, let's go. This would be good for me. I'd be happy. What do you mean training you? What does that mean? For what?

Starting point is 01:00:57 For what, what? Fictional character is gonna train you for some sort of event? What are you guys talking about? What do you mean? What? What do you mean? What do you mean? What are you preparing for? Whatever he wants me to prepare for. I guess. Like if he came

Starting point is 01:01:13 if he came into my house and was like let's go. I guess what I'm saying is if Kratos goes straight to you. Yeah. We're all cooked. We're cooked. Why? I guess we're probably doing okay. What if he's training me to save your lives? I will say that side by side, Kratos kinda looks like a darkest timeline Minsk. Yeah, cause they do sort of have the face tattoo thing going for them, although. Something horrible happened to Boo,

Starting point is 01:01:43 and Minsk is out for revenge. I think a lot of these guys are gonna look like themselves. The thing about it is, Kratos' thing is less of a tattoo and more of the blood of his wife and daughter. Right. Right, right, right. Fair.

Starting point is 01:02:03 Okay, so I guess it falls to me. My first pick. K, so I guess that it falls to me. Yes. My first pick. Kratos is immediately off, which sucks for me. Cause he's one of my guys. But you know who else is one of my guys? Who? From the Hitman franchise, Agent 47. Very strong pick.

Starting point is 01:02:22 Certainly very well known for... Balding. He's like specifically bald. Yeah, specifically bald. He's a bald guy. And he's got bald guy ideas. The thing about this game, particularly the new ones, Hitman's one, two, and three,

Starting point is 01:02:40 they're such Heather games that I can't believe you haven't played them. Look, man, there are so many games There's such Heather games that I can't believe you haven't played them. Look, man, there are so many games that I am going to have died not playing. Yeah. And it breaks my heart because I love video games so very much. Yes. And sure, there's probably somebody out there who's like,

Starting point is 01:03:00 well, stop playing Battle Royale games if you wanna play Hitman. And that time is taken up right now with going to the same fucking dude next to the river and hitting him with a wooden stick until he dies. Because the thing about, it's like, I mean, there's stealth games, you like stealth, okay? The thing about it is like, the puzzle aspect of it is combat, because like you can kill a waiter,

Starting point is 01:03:26 then take the waiter's clothes, dress as the waiter, and then do the waiter's job until that gets you closer to the target. Yeah. It's extremely, extremely funny. The games are so funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've only seen clips of it on TikTok that make me want to play the game.

Starting point is 01:03:45 Yes, I will say based on the graphics so far, this is the most alarming thing we've ever done. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha different gimmick. We got two QAnon shamans. One classic Brooks Brothers freak. Okay so Nick back to you. All right how to set this one up why don't I just say let's go girls. That's right y'all thought ladies can't be bald. Let me introduce you to Jack from Mass Effect. Jack is a bald woman who is a true badass and is a biotic in the Mass Effect universe, which basically means she's telekinetic. It has a classic kind of sci-fi tropey sort of backstory. Subject zero originally, a gifted child stolen from her her family raised in a lab by Cerberus who was an evil

Starting point is 01:04:48 Prohumanist actually human supremacist organization. She was in prison. She was experimented upon until became she became so powerful She took violent revenge on her captors Like Minsk makes the most of the added real estate with a cool ass head tattoo Yeah, fucking cool that tattoo so now that you're a tattooed person and you keep bringing this up, I'm actually nervous that this is going to be your next move. I'm going to shave my head and get like a barcode like Agent 47. No, I don't know if I'm going to do that, if I do the head tattoo move, but I don't know, maybe.

Starting point is 01:05:20 I thankfully have enough coverage where I'm fine with the regular old hair right now. But Jack is really cool and is also Extremely mean and scary which means that I love her. Yeah, no here's the thing. She's fine as hell No extremely bad The thing about I want to just circle back Yeah Whatever the fuck that was you did when you started with this

Starting point is 01:05:50 What are you talking about? The Shania thing Yeah what about that? You think that was okay? I think so That's why I did it I think it was good enough to do on a podcast Which it gets to a pretty low bar And here's the thing So that's why I did it He was good enough to do on a podcast

Starting point is 01:06:10 She gets a pretty low bar and here's the thing we are already doing this I was giving a hard time in actuality. I loved it Heather you're either back to you um Who's bald who is bald she. Who's a bald person? Then I looked up on my shelf and I saw Street Fighter anniversary collection. And I realized my man Sagat is a bald guy. Wow, he is a great, great baldy.

Starting point is 01:06:43 And so- Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Let's go, fighters. Wow, he is a great great Baldy and so So I'm I'm putting cigart on what is on my baldies gates Cigar is from Street Fighter 2. He sports I actually might be in Street Fighter 1 He sports a chest he isn't Street Fighter I. He sports a chest scar. I think he is in Street Fighter I. That is diagonal across his chest that was burnt into his flesh from a dragon punch delivered by Ryu. He also killed Dan's dad.

Starting point is 01:07:20 So when Dan faces off against Sagat, Dan is very emotional, he cries, he shouts for his father, and then more often than not, immediately gets just trashed by Sagat. That scar looks like he was almost cut in half. Yeah, well, Ryu's a really strong guy. Yeah. You know, when I picked him, I was worried a little bit

Starting point is 01:07:52 that since Tiger Weiger is now in our lives, that Sagat, known for shouting Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Was going to be chosen by Weiger But instead he got horny too fast Very useful party member in Mass Effect 2 So Sagat is my second bald for Baldi's Gate Matt

Starting point is 01:08:29 Did you guys know there's a bald character in Kingdom Hearts oh Boy is it? Xehanort I think I think it might know you're thinking of what character should I keep going master Xehanort is on my list Good luck ranch spelling spelling that. It's X-E-H-A-N. X-E-H-A-N-O-R-T. Xehanort. He's voiced by Leonard Nimoy. Wow.

Starting point is 01:08:58 Oh, Xehanort. By the way, Sagat is in Street Fighter 1 as the final boss, not playable. But the second Thailand stage, you fight Sagat as either Ryu or Ken, who are the only two playable characters. Tiger. He is also, look at his scale in this. He's big as shit. Whoa, fuck.

Starting point is 01:09:20 Yeah, he's huge. Imagine having to fight somebody that big. Yeah. I mean, he is big in Street Fighter 2, but it's not as pronounced Zane or game really sucks Street Fighter 1. It's real bad. It's like it's my soul shouldn't even exist Have you played it? It's real bad. I have played it sucks It's so crazy because Street Fighter 2 is so good. Yeah, and like every Street Fighter after that is basically as good as that kind of yeah for Man, we could live in a world where Street Fighter after that is basically as good as that, kind of. Yep.

Starting point is 01:09:49 Man, we could live in a world where Street Fighter didn't exist. It's crazy. Xehanort, of course, is a bad guy from Kingdom Hearts, but depending on who you ask, he might be misunderstood. Oh, do you think so? I don't think so. I think he seems a little bad. But that picture that Ranch picked, he kind of looks a little bit cheeky, doesn't he? A little bit.

Starting point is 01:10:10 He might be up to something. You can't be too mad at him. He's my friend. What is this episode? It's the same as any of the other draft ones. Yes. But we're just drafting bald guys. I think it's interesting the breadth of bald characters that exist in interactive entertainment.

Starting point is 01:10:36 Why is that a surprise to you? Bald people exist. That's a great point, Heather. And we should acknowledge them. And you know what? Some of our best are bald, and this next segment is for them. If you're listening and you're bald, I just want to say here at Get Played, we love you. We love you. We're doing this episode for the Baldies. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:01 I don't know if they like being called Baldies. We're doing this for the chrome dome Listen cue wall this is for you my dad is bald my stepdad's bald and we make fun He makes jokes about it too, he knows he that's fun he because the thing about him is yeah used to have a long beautiful hair. Oh sure He's used so cal surfer dude. I love that Get long blonde hair Wow and it's just now all gone I think it goes when you become a police officer by the time comes for us all All right, I'm up you're up, okay

Starting point is 01:11:45 Here's the thing. Who's bald? Who is bald? Who's bald? Let me tell you who's bald. Someone who's so fucking bald that their name includes the word bald. I'm speaking of course of Bald Bull from Punch Out. Wow.

Starting point is 01:12:03 Wow. Bald Bull. That Out. Wow. Wow. Bald Bull. That's bald as hell. Bald Bull, the Turkish boxer, who does have the classic George Costanza style wings around the side. Just a little bit of hair, but is very, very bald and a little bit pointy on top. A bit of an egghead shape. Cone head looking ass.

Starting point is 01:12:22 Yeah. Is defined by that characteristic. I think this is a really cool character design from the Punch-Out franchise, which has a lot of great character designs. I will also say that I have particular affection for Bald Bull because it was a very satisfying time in my very, very young gamer life when I figured out the timing of his bull charge and when to counter it with a gut punch and how to defeat this character.

Starting point is 01:12:51 I think the Punch-Out franchise is oftentimes, you know, it's not a top tier Nintendo franchise, but I think the Punch-out games are overall very very fun How many are there? I know this is the original one. I think there was one for the Wii Yeah, there was a wee one the wee one was good I mean like like I feel like there's probably like a half dozen canonical ones, but maybe fewer than that because there's punch-out There's super punch-out scale of

Starting point is 01:13:20 Mario next to bald bull. Yeah, look at the scale of little Mac, your character next to Bald Bull. I mean, this motherfucker is huge. Like, this is a, that's a horrifying, like if you, It's David and Goliath, yeah. Worse than Sagat. Yes. By far worse than Sagat.

Starting point is 01:13:36 Yes. Terrifying. If I was that, if I was against a guy that was that big and I was that little, I would be so curious as to Which one of us was wrong? wrong Who's out of scale you can't be that big Like who had done the worst thing me this isn't this isn't correct

Starting point is 01:14:03 Yeah, yep. So if you're counting the arcade games, there are five punch outs. Wow. Five punch outs total. Well, what a legacy. The last one was the Wii game that came out in 2009, so it's been a while.

Starting point is 01:14:15 Yeah, they should release a new punch out. That was very funny. By the way, the Punch Out Wiki, which is exhaustive, has a section for each character which details all of their infractions according to the rules of boxing governing bodies. I found this very entertaining. Regarding Bald Bull, quote, he's shown lifting a dumbbell in the corner breaks. The dumbbell counts as a foreign object which is not allowed.

Starting point is 01:14:36 Upon getting back into a match, he throws the dumbbell he was using into the crowd. This counts as interfering with a crowd which is not allowed. It would also be very dangerous to throw a dumbbell. This counts as interfering with a crowd, which is not allowed. Also be very dangerous to throw a dumbbell. Look, boxing's rules are pretty stringent. So yeah, you can't apply cartoon logic. A gentleman's sport. All right, Heather, back to you. The sweet science.

Starting point is 01:14:59 Strongest of the Turks, the offensive unit and the Shinra Electric Power Company. Strongest of the Turks the Offensive unit in the Shinra electric power company. Oh, I know where this is going is rude from Final Fantasy 7 What is that? You had both Kratos and rude on your long list oh That's what happens in a draft sometimes. It's okay, I just kinda knew that I wasn't gonna get all my guys. But see, this is interesting. There's so much crossover between the three of us because there are so many bald characters.

Starting point is 01:15:32 That's true. Rude looks like. He looks like Pitbull in this picture. Rude looks like a bodyguard at a Dutch dance club. Rude looks like a bodyguard at a Dutch dance club. Rude is, he wears a black suit, he wears black gloves, he's got one of those chains on his hip that lets him carry a wallet without it getting stolen. He, I guess he looks a little like Andrew Tate.

Starting point is 01:16:04 I guess he looks a little like Andrew Tate. Not a handsome man, but a man who is bald nonetheless. That's true. And if I'm pulling from my favorite game franchises, I'm gonna pull Rude from Final Fantasy VII, where he's sort of a minor character in the first game, but then makes a much larger appearance in Advent Children, and that role continues to expand in Remake, and I suppose in Rebirth.

Starting point is 01:16:34 Yeah, you get a couple opportunities to knock a root on his ass in Rebirth. And we should say that he's not unhandsome because he's bald. No. He's just bald and unhandsome These are separate these are separate categorized. Yeah, yeah bald can be beautiful. Yeah, no Kratos is fucking sexy. Yeah, he's hot as hell. Yeah, everybody up here Jack

Starting point is 01:16:56 sexy Those are my two the other ones not so much. Not really my type. Yeah All right, we each get one more? Yeah, I'm next, but then we still have one more each. Oh, that's right, that's right, okay, right, of course, of course, go ahead, Matt. Look, this is gonna be a controversial one, and I think I should just say it

Starting point is 01:17:15 so we can just get it out of the way. Okay. Diglett. Yeah, is Diglett bald? Yeah, is Diglett bald? I guess Diglett is bald. Can we pull up an image of Diglett? This is why I brought up the three hair rule,

Starting point is 01:17:29 a second, not that long ago. Motherfuckers got three hairs. Yeah, just kinda under the bar. Is that his nose or is it his mouth? It's his nose. Okay. He's like a little, he's supposed to be, I think, not unlike a naked mole rat,

Starting point is 01:17:45 or a Buta from Gurren Lagann, which if you take naked to its full extent, that's no hairs. Do female Diglets have hair? There are Diglet variants from other regions that have long blonde hair. Well then yeah, so then Diglet is bald. have hair? There are Diglett variants from other regions that have long blonde hair. Well then yeah, so then Diglett is bald.

Starting point is 01:18:11 Yeah I think Diglett is bald. Cause I would also say like Jigglypuff to me is bald. This is real. Okay. The long hair that Ranch is looking at and laughing at is real. Well. This is canon?

Starting point is 01:18:23 That's from the DS, that's from the, I think the 3DS game. Long flowing locks of golden hair, like was on your stepdad back in the day. That's right. Is on these Diglets, that's really unsettling. It's pretty nuts, but it's just true. So thus, Diglet is bald, and Diglett makes the list of bald characters.

Starting point is 01:18:47 Wow. That's horrible. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Great pick, Matt, and I'm glad you got one of your guys from the Pokemon franchise, which I know is near and dear to your heart as is Kingdom Hearts, as is Hitman. I'm glad I didn't choose Diglett, because you would have been brokenhearted. I would have broken one of these windows or something. Yeah, yeah. Diglett.

Starting point is 01:19:17 And he's just cute, he's coming out of the ground. He's a useful guy, like sometimes you don't have, you know, an escape rope when you're in a dungeon or a cave. You can dig your way out of there with a digglet. That's not bad. That's not bad. Yeah, you gotta think about this, you know, because we're building a roster,

Starting point is 01:19:32 but we're also building a squad. And you gotta think about cohesion at a certain point. You gotta think about the balance of your team. And that brings me to my final pick, because, you know, I got some wild cards here. Minsc, Jack, Bald Bull, although I don't know much about his personality I can assume, all kind of erratic, eccentric, unpredictable with their own agendas need to be wrangled a little bit.

Starting point is 01:19:56 And who is better to wrangle them than one of the great world leaders, Gandhi from civilization? Oh my god. leaders. Gandhi from Civilization. Now here's the thing, Gandhi is famed as a pacifist in real life, but in the Civilization franchise he does not fuck around. Let me read you a quote from Gandhi from Civilization 1. Greetings from Gandhi, ruler and king of Indians, our words are backed with nuclear weapons. That's right, Gandhi will nuke your ass in the Civilization Games and won't think twice about it. It's such a jarring occurrence that in the game series among the fandom, he was famously

Starting point is 01:20:38 speculated to have been either intentionally programmed or that there was a bug that caused him to declare nuclear war with frequency, that the bug was confirmed to be an urban legend. It's more likely that it was just so startling to see Gandhi, again, someone who had never resort to this in real life, threaten you with nuclear annihilation that it stuck in players' memories as abnormally likely, even though it was just as likely as any other later. You may maybe make the argument that he just shouldn't have done it, but he would do it, he would nuke your ass,

Starting point is 01:21:08 or at least threaten to do so. They actually ended up making this a mechanic in Civilization V, because it was such a thing that they were just like, people were, players were used to this, they were just like, all right, fuck it, let's go for it. And Gandhi is just going to be programmed to be more likely to nuke your ass in that game.

Starting point is 01:21:24 But anyway, nice to have a true team captain, Gandhi from the Civilization franchises rounding out my Mount Baldy more. Okay. Gandhi is bald. Gandhi and all these other people are bald. That's right. Many of them are men. Yes.

Starting point is 01:21:46 What is a man? What would any of these men be without the first man of video games? And a man who can only be bald? I'm talking Pac-Man. Wow! Heather. Very strong Wow. Heather. Very strong choice. Heather.

Starting point is 01:22:06 Pac-Man is a bald man. Sometimes he wears a hat, but often he is just walking around in boots and gloves. What's wrong? I'm just like the experience that I'm on with this right now, because at first it kind of seemed like you weren't that into the premise

Starting point is 01:22:26 But actually what we're learning here with this pick is that you're the most into it because you've had such a good pick The best pick of the rat of the whole thing so far You thought about this long and hard you waited till the fourth turn to drop an absolute bomb on all of us and it paid off And I just want to sit here and say I salute you Thank you, Matt bomb on all of us and it paid off. And I just want to sit here and say I salute you. Thank you, Matt. Rendered in this more cartoonish style as having eyebrows. So yes, we can infer that he has hair over his brows,

Starting point is 01:23:00 but does not have hair on top of his head. He has a tongue. He has a mouth. He has a nose. He has eyes and eyebrows, but hair, he does not have hair on top of his head. He has a tongue. He's a bald, bald buck. He has a mouth. He has a nose. He has eyes and eyebrows, but hair he does not have. So he has eyebrows, which is hairs. Yeah. He wears gloves and boots, which is clothes. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:16 But he's not wearing pants or a shirt. Do we think he's got pubes? This is an issue with a lot of cartoon characters, and there's just no way to know unless we get a low angle shot. I think we could also pull with a lot of cartoon characters, and there's just no way to know unless we get a low angle shot. I think we could also pull up a photo of him or a picture of him from the 1980s cartoon show, the Saturday morning Pac-Man cartoon show,

Starting point is 01:23:37 and get a sense of whether or not he is a bald man. And I think there are other Pac-Men with like facial hair. Oh, interesting. Yeah, no, that Pac-Man's got a mane on him. Yeah, there are Pac-Men with full heads of hair, but our Pac-Man does not have hair. No, he's bald. And no pubes to be seen. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:03 Not even in the 80s. Nope. He's clean be seen. Yeah, not even in the 80s He's he's clean shaver Yeah, certainly at least in the classic 2d version that the pizza slice version of missing pizza slice version of pac-man That is certainly appears to be a bald character hairless character. Yeah I do like that ranch is making us a graphic as we go and She has hastily also named Pac-Man Sagat. They're the same guy basically. I love it.

Starting point is 01:24:33 Great pick. My final pick, and this is a tough one because obviously there's so many bald characters and a lot of good ones have been picked here. Yeah. But my final pick is from a game that I believe has a reputation of being way better than it needed to be. Ooh. For what it's based on. Hey.

Starting point is 01:25:03 And that game is The Chronicles of Riddick escape from butcher. Wow great pick for my final placement amount baldmore is Riddick The Xbox FPS game that yes Vin Diesel had a good amount of personal involvement in at least like you know some creative approval creative oversight Known to be a gamer, I believe. Yes. And yeah, that game was, you're absolutely right. That was one of those early licensed games

Starting point is 01:25:34 that was like, one of the first wave, I feel like, of licensed games was like, oh wow, this is actually like a legit good game. Really good, really cool. I didn't have an Xbox growing up, my uncle had one, and I would watch him play Riddick, and I just remember being so delighted that Vin Diesel was in a video game, knowing that he probably

Starting point is 01:25:55 loved it as well. So Riddick is my final pick. Boy, he really got close. It's my final pick. Boy, he really got close. He got very close to having his own franchise. Like I know that there are multiple chronicles of Riddick, like all that stuff, that there are multiple entries into the IP,

Starting point is 01:26:19 but it just didn't have the legs that I assume he wanted it to have. But there was a multiverse where Riddick is Mission Impossible. Well, the thing about that is he's still trying. I know. He might succeed. Because I think he leveraged his cameo in Fast and Furious 3 to get the rights to Riddick back for himself. So I think he has the rights to it.

Starting point is 01:26:51 So that's why these movies keep coming out. It's going to be like Warren Beatty at like age 80 doing a Zoom special to keep the rights to Riddick. It's a, this is, I mean, like, look, obviously Vin Diesel does have a franchise he can claim of his own, although it's an ensemble, I feel like most strongly associated with The Fast and the Furious. That's right, yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:14 And you know, let's not forget, he's Groot. Yeah, he is Groot. He's Groot in every language. He's Groot. Yeah, no, I know he's a famous man, despite, honestly, despite the odds. Like, you would- Hey, I know he's a famous man, despite, honestly, despite the odds. Like, you would- Hey, just because he's bald

Starting point is 01:27:30 doesn't mean he shouldn't be an actor. You wouldn't think that Vin Diesel would have like survived the early 2000s. No, that's 100% correct. You know? And the man keeps coming. Yeah. And doesn't stop.

Starting point is 01:27:41 He was in a Super Bowl commercial. God bless him. Like, I'm really happy for him. Good job, buddy. It kind of makes me kind of seem like- I'm sure he's a bad person, but you know. That I could do it. Maybe not.

Starting point is 01:27:48 One of our, you absolutely could do it. One of our more fascinating slubs, I will say. Yes, his Instagram- He's like a truly, truly odd man. Odd is a good way to put it, cause he just posts stuff on Sundays and he'll just be like, happy creative. And he's just like, that's all it says.

Starting point is 01:28:06 And it's just like him, like posing in front of a car. And he's, yeah, he's, you know, he's my favorite dummy. My favorite big dumb guy. Well, give him credit for Chronicles of Riddick, the video game. He was, yeah. Gave him Butcher Bay. Heavily involved in it.

Starting point is 01:28:23 So I would imagine that him putting his name on it and wanting it to be good played a huge part in it and again this was an era when those games generally were going to be garbage and I certainly worked on some when I was in development so it was it was quite a pleasant surprise that this game from a at the time mid-tier sci-fi franchise ended up being one of the better games for the system. All right, let's recap our squads. Up first, me, my team, Minsk from Baldur's Gate, Jack from Mass Effect, Bald Bull from Punch-Out, and Gandhi from the Civilization franchise. I have Kratos from the God of War franchise, Sagat from the Street Fighter franchise, Rude from Final Fantasy VII, Pac-Man from gaming history,

Starting point is 01:29:10 and I want to do a shout out to Alan Ripley from Alien 3 on Super NES who was on my runner's up card. Wow. That's a great runner up. My picks are, of course, Agent 47 from the Hitman games, Master Xehanort from Kingdom Hearts, Diglett, the Pokemon, and Riddick from the Chronicles of Riddick, Escape from Butcher Bay.

Starting point is 01:29:42 Wow. You know, we left on the board, talking about a three-haired rule, Homer Simpson himself from Simpsons Hit and Run. I had some ones that I knew was going to make everybody mad. I had Homer on there. I had Shaq. Oh, fuck. I didn't even think about NBA players.

Starting point is 01:30:01 Yeah, that absolutely could have been a whole area. Dr. Eggman, of course. Yeah. Yep. Yep. The question is, who do you pick? Shaq from Shaq Fu or Michael Jordan from Michael Jordan and Chaos in the Windy City? It's tough. It's really, really tough. You couldn't have both. You couldn't have both. Guys, how do you feel this went? I think it went really good. I was having a really good time. Okay, great. I loved watching Ranch build this chart here. Yeah, it was hypnotic. Yeah More work than necessary But probably not unlike playing Hollow Knight while the bleeding audio

Starting point is 01:30:44 Let's go to a segment time it's time for a question block. Wow. This first one's from Holden. Hi Holden. Hi Holden. Holden writes, what's the best hat in gaming? Wow. This is a great question.

Starting point is 01:30:57 Cappy up there I think. Woof. Cappy, the Cappy has so much utility. Like Cappy is like a character and Cappy is like a central mechanic in that game. So there's a strong case for Cappy because hats very often are purely cosmetic. But yeah, there's gotta be, I gotta think about this because there's definitely ones

Starting point is 01:31:19 where hats are weaponized and so forth. Heather's got an answer. My answer, because I think we all get an answer, is Pot from Let Me Solo Her. That's really, really good. It is not just a hat that protects the head. It is also a hat that is intimidating, for the bearer cannot see out of it

Starting point is 01:31:41 and yet has still mastered the blade. Pot from Let Me Solo Her of Elden Ring. I really like M. Bison's hat. He's got this sort of like. That is like a Nazi hat. Sure, man. Go for it, dude, whatever you want. You guys are like, let's do skinheads as a topic, and I'm going to pick the hat. That's not what it was.

Starting point is 01:32:05 Digglet's got some hair. Um, and Bison's got a hat. Who else got a hat? I mean, look, a big one just from an aesthetic standpoint in the Final Fantasy world, the Black Mage hat. It's a great looking hat. Oh, good hat. That looks good.

Starting point is 01:32:23 But the one I was thinking of, and I had to look up what the character name was for a refresher is a Kung Lao's hat from the Mortal Kombat franchise. Because that hat has a fucking blade on it and cuts the shit out of you. He's a fucking fatality who kills you with a fucking hat. Cut you in half hat. That's pretty good.

Starting point is 01:32:39 I liked that a lot. What about, ah, fuck, what's the guy's name? Am I conflating random What's the guy's name? I might conflating Am I conflating random task and the guy from no random tasks throw shoes from from Austin Powers odd job If from Goldeneye does throw a hat yeah, so odd balls hat yeah, I've all had a hat I job odd job odd job odd ball. He's a little weird In Golden Eye 64 right um But yeah, I guess those are our answers Those are the answers for that fuck, but there's so many good hats, and I'm just thinking about let's save it for another episode

Starting point is 01:33:15 Yeah, you're right. We'll do a hat What's the what's the I don't know the SNK fighting games as well But is a king of fighters the one guys got that badass hat Harry Harry's hat is really Terry's really cool It's very really coolers. He's just strong I Think that hat is fucking awesome. That hat is cool. It's just a baseball cap. Yeah, but it's cool It's Fatal Fury not a King of Fighters a lot of great hats. Obviously the Mario hat, Luigi hat, good.

Starting point is 01:33:48 Good hats. A lot of good... Yeah, Link's hat, I mean... Link's got a good hat. Arthur Morgan cowboy hat. Yeah, it's a hat. It's a classic hat. Mario... It can fall off.

Starting point is 01:34:00 Mario Winnie's cat Mario has the hat with ears. Yeah, that's really real cute This next one is from Sophie. Hi, so and Sophie writes What is everyone's favorite game from their least favorite genre? For example, what is Heather's favorite puzzle centric game? Oh, I think I know the answer this You do I think is Lumen is not a puzzle game. I Don't think of like Tetris is puzzle game. Yeah, I think I know the answer to this. You do? I think. Is Lumen is not a puzzle game? I don't think of like Tetris as puzzle game. Yeah, I think there's a difference between a game that's a puzzle game versus a game that has a puzzle in it. Is what, like, right?

Starting point is 01:34:36 That's like, you don't like how a Resident Evil comes to a stop where you have to like locate some gems and put them in some crest or whatever. And even though it is the cop out answer, I won't say uncharted because the puzzles in that are, put that triangle that's on the ground in the wall. Like it's not puzzles. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:34:56 I have an answer. Okay. I don't really like shooting games. I don't really like FPS games all that much. There are games from the first person perspective that I've enjoyed, but it's not my favorite genre. However, and I put Portal aside because Portal to me is not an FPS game, but I absolutely love the Half-Life franchise and Half-Life 2 I think is like my favorite FPS game.

Starting point is 01:35:22 So although that's a genre that I don't generally seek out and I will play games if they're acclaimed or people tell me I should play them, but it's not like a genre that I enjoy. I do think like Half-Life 2 for me was like had the best single player first person campaign. And that's a game that I absolutely adore. For reasons mostly of nostalgia,

Starting point is 01:35:46 I'm gonna say the King's Quest series are my favorite puzzle games. Oh, yeah. Oh. They are often puzzles that cannot be solved without a guidebook. Like, they have no logical way of puzzling them. But sometimes you will get, like, a character in, say, a way of puzzling them.

Starting point is 01:36:10 But sometimes you will get like a character in, say, I think it's the Perils of Rosella, who's like, what's my name? Or maybe it's in the first one, I don't really recall. And you know from fairy tales that it's probably Rumpelstiltskin, because there's a character in a fairy tale who's like if you guess my name in three just choices. Yeah, let you go and and so you'll try rumple stilt skin and it won't work and then he'd be like

Starting point is 01:36:37 Spell rumple stilt skin backwards and that'll solve the puzzle But really you could have named him anything. I would say the King's Quest games. Matt, what is your least favorite, most favorite game? Real quick on King's Quest, because I loved all the LucasArts point and click adventures, graphic adventure games, but I was less in the Sierra games. I played a Gabriel Knight series, but never really played the King's Quest, but I did bring up a screenshot of King's Quest 1.

Starting point is 01:37:04 I think this is this is EGA That motherfucker has a hat Yeah, that's pretty good Hello feather in his cat. There's a guy in Get his ass dog Caught a feather in a cat macaroni this motherfucker over here Get his ass Let me guess your John Hames John jangle what the fuck What was your answer halo reach? I don't really like shooter games like that either for shooting games, but I played halo reach when I got my Xbox on the

Starting point is 01:37:44 But I played Halo Reach when I got my Xbox on the insistence of Last week's guest Cody Ziegler, and it's an all-timer Halo Reach fucking rules. Yeah, I mean I'd Halo Reach I didn't play I played the first couple halos, and I played the Played some Halo 3 I played the But the what the well was the most recent one? Infinite. Infinite, that was the one, that had a strong single player campaign.

Starting point is 01:38:09 So the Halo campaigns are usually pretty solid. I gotta get back in there, cause I mean, I was liking, I liked playing online Halo Infinite, but I didn't really, the campaign hadn't grabbed me yet, but I didn't play that much of it. This next one is from Boop. Hi Boop.

Starting point is 01:38:26 What normal yet bad ass thing from a video game do you wish you could do in real life? I've always wished I could slide down ladders quickly in a way that you can in lots of games. I have an immediate answer. That's a great answer, go on. That is a great answer. It's better than mine probably.

Starting point is 01:38:38 Mine's a kick flip. Kick flip is awesome. That'd be really cool if I could do a kick flip. Well, cause that's the thing people can do in reality. So you're not like, you're not a super hero. You're just like a really good sk if I could do a kickflip. Well, because that's the thing people can do in reality. So you're not like you're not a super hero. You're just like a really good skater who can do a kickflip. Like if I could do a kickflip, everybody in here would be pretty impressed.

Starting point is 01:38:51 Well, it would be a thing like, did you know Matt could do a kickflip? And then somebody would be like, hey, Matt, I hear you can do a kickflip. Oh, yeah, man. No problem. Oh, yeah. Get your skateboard around here somewhere.

Starting point is 01:39:00 And he's like, yeah, sure. Let me do one real quick. And I do it. And everyone's like, holy shit, he did it. Pretty good. Yeah, that's a great answer. Everyone would love it. I'm going to learn to do one. My answer is more magical it and I was like holy shit. He did it pretty good Yeah, that's a good other. I don't learn to do one my answer is more magical And I was just gonna say double jump just cuz I think double jumping is like the dumbest thing

Starting point is 01:39:12 But it's so fucking cool. Yeah, and it works so well Mechanically in so many games Just for aerial mobility, and I just I really really like it. I wish I could double jump. I would love that. I don't even regular jump all that often. Less than once a day, I'd say I'm jumping. How often are y'all jumping? I mean, I jump rope every morning. Yeah, I guess in the context of exercise, sure.

Starting point is 01:39:40 But like just for actual like mobility, I'm not traversing anywhere by jumping all that often. Jumping's good though. Yeah. I'm going across gaps constantly. That's what I would be doing, yeah. Just hopping. Well, also you misjudge a puddle.

Starting point is 01:39:56 You're trying to jump over a puddle, but you got the double jump, you can bail yourself out. That's pretty good, yeah. My answer is, how is it worded specifically? What normal yet badass thing from a video game? Normal? Yeah, like doing a kickflip is normal, but it is badass. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:40:13 Double jumping, eh. Do you don't think that qualifies as normal in a video game? I guess it's normal within a video game, that is true. And jumping in itself is normal. Yeah. It's normal to jump normal. Uh Normal what is normal in a video game? How about getting kicked in the face and being fine? Cuz my before I heard normal it was gonna be summon like oh, yeah

Starting point is 01:40:43 That world that would be the thing summon it'd be cool. I mean that's normal within that world. Oh okay, then that would be the thing, summon. It'd be cool. I would love to be able to be like, ah fuck, I forgot my keys at home. You know what, I'm gonna summon Odin and have him ride over to the house and get my keys. Watching like 11 minute animation you've seen 20 times. Like all right.

Starting point is 01:41:02 Can I skip this? Okay. Harper Over Thinks writes. Hi Harper. Have you guys tried the game mouthwashing? Because I feel like the game is all of you coded. I've been hearing a lot about mouthwashing. I think, I mean, I have not played mouthwashing.

Starting point is 01:41:17 I have not played it. I haven't either. I heard it short. Maybe it's something we do. Maybe. But it's- Wait, let me get a little context on this. Mouthwashing game?

Starting point is 01:41:28 Yeah, mouthwashing. Okay. It's supposed to be kind of scary or something. Okay, this was a 2024 game. It came out, it seems, but the crush of releases late 2024, so maybe it just wasn't on a radar. Yeah. Yeah, this looks like a spooky, scary sort of- Positive reception overall. Yeah, I don't know little looks like a spooky, scary sort of positive

Starting point is 01:41:45 reception overall. Yeah, I don't know what this is exactly. It looks pretty surreal. Yeah, but I think there's like, there's like the Nick's watching a trailer for it on his iPad. I feel like from what I've heard about it, there's stuff in it that you don't know. Like that, like there's like surprise. There's like surprise stuff. Yeah, there's definitely an element like, okay, this guy is covered in bandages, there's a whole bunch of eyeballs, but then there's also a Five Nights at Freddy's

Starting point is 01:42:10 looking mascot over here. Miss me with that? Yeah, so I don't know what the hell's going on exactly. And then just a bunch of stuff about mouthwash. Hmm, I don't know. I think, I mean, on the whole, I think mouthwash is good And I like it mouthwashing is a first-person horror game following the dying crew of a shipwrecked space freighter

Starting point is 01:42:30 Who could have known what a good old captain Curly was capable of guess? He thought his crew dying alongside him was only right but some men can't even kill themselves properly maimed limbless and unable to speak But alive Curly is now at the mercy of the crew. He is doomed to a slow death Hmm follow the lives follow the lives of the crew as they weather starvation isolation in each other people were never your strong suit Anyway, so this yeah, this seems like kind of maybe an event horizon sort of experience. I'm into this Yeah, I'll give it a look adding it to my wishlist. Take it don't stick a look at that You you never played Final Fantasy 8. Did you know I? Really want to show you a summon from Final Fantasy 8.

Starting point is 01:43:06 I think I've seen it. I think you've shown it to me before. Is it like it's the big mech that comes or something? I have shown you that one, but there's a different one that I was just thinking of that I want to show you. OK. Do you think we could watch a summon from Final Fantasy 8? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:43:20 Do you think we could put it up on the big screen? Probably. Why don't we put on a put Fox News on put on our headphones Since I have summoning on the brain and let's watch the summon of Eden from Final Fantasy Okay No, Matt you're familiar with summons you you summon like a horse rider Or you summon like the Knights of the Round or you know you you summon some like some guy or something right yeah like or like Jeannie or Mufasa

Starting point is 01:43:50 or Jack Skellington yeah exactly so let's let's watch what what happens when you summon Eden in in Final Fantasy 8 because they're fighting off against a dinosaur Okay, so they're fighting off against a dinosaur. Okay. So the dinosaur, I guess they're about to summon it. Yeah. I didn't even know there were dinosaurs in this. There are dinosaurs in Primeval Fantasy 8. It is...

Starting point is 01:44:40 Okay. Well, Wall disappeared. And then your television goes to static. And now there's like a big spaceship. In front of screens in space. No. It blasts the T-Rex

Starting point is 01:45:02 from space. It's like a giant, like a No. It blasts the T-Rex from space. Oh my god. But it's not done. It then transports the T-Rex to a dimensional grid. The grid in space begins to warp and buckle around the summon itself. T-Rex is then dropped into the upper orifice of this machine, which then itself summons a grid. You cut to the exterior of Earth where a alchemic circle falls on Earth

Starting point is 01:45:51 and ticks like a clock in space before achieving the correct time, warping a wormhole, blasting the T-Rex through reality. Oh my god blasting the t-rex through reality It shuttles across all of space to the center of the galaxy where it enters a black hole And this thing has like what 500 HP? That's so crazy. Yeah, I gotta play Final Fantasy 8. It's great. That's so funny I like that the first thing that happens with that summon is static appears on your television Like oh man. I broke it. Yeah

Starting point is 01:46:40 You've summoned something in a video game so intense that it is damaging your system. That's an all-timer. It is. That's it for the question block, guys. Thanks so much for writing in. And of course, you can write in at discord.gg slash get played. We're having a lot of fun over there. I'm interested in everyone's favorite bald characters we missed in the Discord.

Starting point is 01:46:59 I'm also interested in any video game hats, because I'm sure there's a... That, to me, is a long, long list, and I'm sure we missed a lot of them. There's probably more hats than there are bald. Whatever category you're weighing in on, make sure to add Heather on that. No! Hey, that's this week's Get Played. Thanks for our producer, Rochelle Chan.

Starting point is 01:47:16 Ranch, you are the underscore, underscore Sartre. Are you streaming anything these days, Ranch? Still on Alan Wake 2. Are you able to make time for that game with your binging of Hollow Knight? No, I have not made any progress on Alan Wake 2. Are you able to make time for that game without your binging of Hollow Knight? No, I have not made any progress on Alan Wake 2. Twitch.tv slash yard underscore underscore sard when you are streaming. Our music is by Ben Prunty. BenPruntyMusic.com. Our art is by Decker Brigade Design. DeckerBrigade.com. And hey, you can find all our merch, including apparel and stickers at kinship goods.com link in the show description

Starting point is 01:47:46 Also check out our patreon patreon.com slash get played where you can find our entire pre headgum back catalog plus ad free main feed Episodes and our patreon exclusive show get animate Matt. What's up this week? We're watching Gurren Lagann, baby Show just dropped. We're watching a classic Gurren Lagann, baby. Let's go! New show just dropped. We're watching a classic. Gurren Lagann, drill your way to heaven, whatever it says, whatever they say in there. I'm new to it. But we're having a great time over there.

Starting point is 01:48:15 Patreon.com slash get played. There you go. And you know what? Who got played? Barbers this month. This week. Then you know what? Actually, not even just this week, this whole month, Barbers this month. This week. Wow. You know what? Actually, not even just this

Starting point is 01:48:25 week. This whole month. Barbers, you fucked up.

Get Played - Baldy's Gate

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