Get Played - Console Aesthetics Tier List Part 1

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Matt, Heather and Nick craft a tier list of the first 5 generations of video game consoles ranked by their aesthetics. This month's We Play, You Play: Chrono Trigger! Check out guest engineer Sam's band Guck. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com. Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com. Check out our Anime watch-along podcast Get Anime'd and our complete Get Played, How Did This Get Played? and Premium DLC back catalogue only on patreon.com/getplayed. Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. All right, we here at Corvair, Home Technologies, are about to break new ground. We are about to innovate. We are bringing the video arcade, the sensation of the 70s, home, so people can attach it to their television sets. It's gonna literally change the game, and this is very, very exciting for us. Well said, change the game. That's how we should be thinking.

We're gonna change the game with consumer electronics, with a TV that you can interact with. I know that things are about to change. When I hear these ideas and I get more excited than I've ever been in my entire life, and I am a woman who cannot legally get divorced. I am excited. I am excited about the 1970s.

Where, you know, it's very exciting. It's very interesting and new for us that you're working with us as a peer. Yes, we've gotten used to it. Oh, you don't have to flatter me. You don't have to flatter me. I am not a peer. I cannot get my own credit card. I know where I sit. You can with your husband's permission. Yeah, that's true. Johnny would never. I am so excited to talk about these video games with you. Yes, this is neither here nor there. We're going to focus on designing this new, what I'm calling a home video game console,

the first one to market, the Corvair Home Entertainment Machine. Home Entertainment Machine. Here's my thought. Okay. This thing should be extremely heavy. Consumers are gonna feel like they're gonna buying something substantial.

This thing should be really hard to pick up. I think that a home entertainment unit should be heavy so that you know that it is serious. Yes. I also think that it should have spirally cords. Because if there's one thing I know as the woman in the house, it is that a straight cord gets tangled. A spirally cord just gets tucked away

Yes, like we use with our with our telephone machine. Yes Brilliant and tell me if this is too crazy I just know that like I have a lot of it's like my car has wood paneling There's wood paneling in my home and like my den area TV box already got a little bit of wood on it. I'm kind of thinking Maybe this thing should have of wood on it. I'm kinda thinking maybe this thing should have some wood on it too. Well, slam wood on the side of it and on the top of it.

All wood all the way around. Why not? I want wood paneling all the way around a 30 pound box with spirally cords. Also, many buttons. This thing needs a shitload of buttons. Are you saying by many, do you mean more than three? I was thinking more than 10. More than ten? I love these buttons. Just throw them all on there

We won't know what their function is, but the consumer will figure it out They're gonna spend so much time with this thing. My only thought is that if there's too many buttons You're probably gonna say there's not enough room for knobs and switches. There will be knobs and switches Oh, thank God. Plenty of those. I hope that the way that you handle and operate this machine is similar to the oven in my kitchen. And I say mine because Johnny does not go in there.

What are you planning on preparing for Johnny for dinner when you get home from your full-time job? Oh, I already started, I woke up at 5 a.m. and I prepared a lasagna. I par-baked it, and then when I get home, I'm gonna stuff it right in the oven before he gets in the door. Wow, that's very nice of you,

because you know, your husband works very, very hard. I know he does. I know he does. Could it be like a, I don't know, like I feel like sometimes you see dust. You see all this dust all over the place. Oh yeah. What is like, instead of the dust being on the outside,

like there's a way for the dust to get in and stay in there? Yeah, some fans that pull in the dust so it just kind of gravitates in there and collects there. And then you know what? The consumer is gonna have to replace this unit and that means more sales for us. What about a dust collecting grill? Like an unnecessary grill that is sort of like ground into

the top machine in the wood paneling so it's hard to clean in there unless you've got like a wife with a q-tip and you're really angry this is actually like can I just say I know we were talking about how proud of your husband we are I'm extremely I can't believe I think I think be careful might be the first time I'm saying this I don't want you to get fired So watch what you're saying Don't tell my wife that I said this because she might think I'm cheating or something. Okay, I'm extremely proud of you For how far you've come, you know

I just know that like men and women are just different and they're just not as good at stuff and you're actually showing that maybe that That's not even true. I don't think we need we don't. Matt you're gonna have to go talk to HR. What do you mean? This is an HR issue you're gonna have to talk with human resources. I don't agree with you I don't stand by that kind of attitude I think that the sexes are separate and one is lower. I just have one more request before I'm like maybe escort it out of here. If it's that I could join you at McSorley's bar in New York I can't. Women aren't allowed in yet. It's not that but I guess it was gonna be that. But I'll ask my second question. You're not

thinking of running a marathon are you? Because that's not allowed. Absolutely not. I'll chase after you. As long as nobody's trying to buy property without their husband or going to a doctor without them I think we're in the clear here Yeah, could it just? Could it just look like complete shit? We debate blocky versus curvy and black versus gray as we create our console aesthetics tier list this week on Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game. In between, it's time to get played.

I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Weiger. That's me, Nick Weiger, and I'm here with our third host, Matt Apodaca. Hello everyone. Hello everyone and welcome back to the premier video game podcast where this week we are talking aesthetics. Yeah for an audio medium, perhaps a challenging topic. Which console looks the best? We're going to do a good job describing

what they look like and also paint with words this is my radio he had says a vibe is part of it you do what you do a podcast about taste it's true so it's possible to like interesting when he has none my dear how dare you I was kidding you're very fashionable and stylish man I I would say. Wow, okay. Pendulum just swung the complete opposite direction. I loved it. I thought you were saying he had the- A little rough piece of shit that it is. Fuck!

Whoa! I could do this all day. What are you, my dad? So we're talking aesthetics today. That's right. And we're not talking aesthetic. We're talking aesthetics, which is different. Aestheticics today. And we're not talking aesthetic, we're talking aesthetics, which is different. Aesthetic is slang.

Aesthetics is the way something looks and is designed and sort of like an overall visual vocabulary of an object. I'm not looking at a definition here and I'm sure there's a better one in Merriam-Webster, but we're not talking like, oh, oh shit, you've got good aesthetic. It's not that. I didn't know this.

What, that's part of it? And I'm glad that you're dialed in on what slang is. I think that's good. What the sigma? What the? Like that? What the sigma? I looked up Merriam-iam Webster just to see aesthetics a

branch of philosophy dealing with the nature of beauty art and taste and with the creation and appreciation of beauty Oh, I love it. It's nice. I love it. I'm sometimes just Okay, I hate it and more casually just sort of Just sort of something that's pleasing in appearance. It's just kind of a more general way to say that. I'm really excited to talk about this because I have tons of opinions. Oh, I do too.

I think we all do. Uh-oh. This is gonna be great. This is gonna be a brawl. This will be a good topic of conversation. We should mention that our normal producer, Rochelle Chen, Ranch, Ranch!

is not here today. She has been exposed to COVID in her stead. So get well Rochelle, hope you stay. Get well Rochelle. Yeah, well hope you stay well. Hope you don't have to get well. Stay well Rochelle. Stay well and stay frosty also, can I say?

Yeah, you can say that. Stay frosty out there. We'll see how she reacts when she listens to Slater when she's editing the episode. Probably gonna kick my ass. We have a guest engineer in studio. She would treat me like that Turkish fucking sharpshooter they sent to the Olympics.

We were talking as Heather was showing us this just before we began. Oh yeah, that was it on the podcast. Wait, describe this for everyone, cause this was new for me. Well, if you've been watching the Olympics, there was a very classy lady who set a new world record from South Korea

when she entered the shooting competition. And she came kitted out with what looks to be Kojima gear. Like she's got like specialized lenses and glasses. She was wearing a really slick jacket with a backwards baseball cap. She had a stuffed elephant hanging out of her pocket that her daughter gave her. So she's like, she's also got like a mascot hanging off her.

Like, and yeah, and she's a mom. She keeps her hand in her pocket as most of the shooters do and she fires a gun and she sets a world record. So everybody has been oohing and aahing about her performance. And her aesthetics. And her aesthetics over the last week. And Kojima even retweeted it.

He's on the pulse. But today was the men's competition, and the guy from Turkey who showed up didn't have any gear at all. Like not even like the headphones you wear to protect your ears. He had nothing. No goggles.

I mean, he's wearing the uniform, but it looks like a t-shirt that just says Turkey. And the dude came in second, and people are like, did Turkey send the hit man Just looks like a guy who would show up at your front door, right? Yeah, like on behalf of someone else sending their regards. Yeah Yeah, he's wearing booties, and you're like ah

Shit, I got bless him one of the silver. How about that? Yeah? And he is a silver. He's got he fox. Okay. Look at this I think in general, uh-huh this podcast we could stand to maybe We could be commenting on people's looks a little more. You think we could just generally be hornier I think we could do that and I think maybe some sort of like, you know, maybe in a Wuga counter here in there maybe a sort of Adding a can I bring back swing? Yeah, maybe some old-timey cow or like a car horn sound effects You want to toss those in there? Why not maybe just? To leave those in

Anyway our our guest engineer today with, our new friend Sam Rogich. Hi Sam. Hey there, thanks for having me. Sam, thanks so much for being here. I'm happy to be here. Sam, you are not a gamer yourself, you've gamed in the past. Yes, yeah.

But you are a shredder, you play guitar. I do, yeah. Do you ever mess around with Guitar Hero? Did you ever do that back in the day? Yeah, I could do the highest level pretty good. Yeah, I mean, I'd love to try it again, yeah. Yeah, wow back in the day? Yeah, I could do the highest level pretty good Yeah, I mean Not even just yeah, I played it yeah, yeah, I could with your ass It's like based on me

Bark at the moon on expert first try as fucking easy Well great to have you buddy. Thanks so much for being here, and I guess I have a question about you being a shredder Not Ninja Turtles really. Okay nevermind, I guess that's the end of my list. A shredder not the shredder. Okay. It's a clear difference. What's your favorite preparation of cheese then? Oh boy.

Hell yeah let's go dog. Guys I want to shout out a listener. Please. So you know once in a while we'll get like a nice little gift package here at... Not often enough I'll say. Not often enough send stuff. We love stuff. Oh boy.

You're gonna get weird, like handfuls of crumpled up masking tape. All I'm saying is the other day we were in studio, you got this, Nick got something, and I was sitting here on Christmas Day With nothing Nick got didn't he get something from an advertiser? No I gave it also I gave me what the fuck What you gave Nick a gift and then you got angry about it I don't want it back. I just like you know it's like Something around here that could have you didn't give me shit. I should be the one upset. Your day will come, Campbell. What?

Stay frosty out there. Stay frosty out there. So I just want to give a shout out to Edgar, who is a Get Play listener, who sent me a Pokemon card that was graded. Wow. And I've never, you know, I've seen these online. Like you see graded like comics or you know NES games

And it looks cool, and you're you're like oh, that's cool, but you never expect to hold one in your hand But he sent me a graded garbador card and It's a it's a hollow print full art card is that what you call them? Yes. Yeah, it's gorgeous It's fucking gorgeous garbage are sitting on a mountain of trash Looking happy as can be and this is really fucking cool. I've never I played the Pokemon game You know back in the 90s and gave all of my cards away like a huge Shoebox of fucking like packed full of cards to a little boy.

So I was like, oh, I'm not gonna have a lot of people to play this with anymore after I fell out of my circle. And now I wish I hadn't done that because I bet that's like thousands of dollars worth of cards, but this card, man, it is nice to see a Pokemon card again, and especially in such a cool little case. Heather, I did the exact same thing with my MTG cards

back in the fucking 90s, just got rid of all of them. What am I doing? I gave them to a child. Did you burn them or eat them or defecate on them? Like, how did you, like, what did you, how did you get rid of them? Gave the old Weiger special. Didn't ritually dispose of them in some way. No, I just got rid of them.

I think I just gave them to, I can't even remember what I did with them. I didn't throw them in a dumpster, but I think I gave them to like a Goodwill or something. That's nice. Yeah. Somebody got, hopefully got you sad. Maybe I did give them to a kid.

I don't fucking know. I was, I was. I'm gonna say I gave them to a kid. Hopefully you did, because we know you drew hogs on all of them. And then the police showed up. And tried, well hold on, I didn't you drew hogs on all of them. And then the police showed up. Well, hold on, I didn't draw a hog on my Gaia's liege. Okay, interesting, I didn't even name a card.

I didn't name a card. I wish I knew more about Magic the Gathering cards. I have a commander deck, but I like the way they look. Yeah, I wanted to get back into it, and I did get a commander deck, and I was playing a little bit on... What the fuck is that? Magic the way they look. Yeah, I wanted to get back into it and I did get a commander deck and I was playing a little bit on, how what the fuck is that? Magic the Gathering Arena. Yeah, I was playing a little arena

and then I just sort of like fell off. ["Skyfall 3D World"] Anyway, let's get into the podcast, eh? Okay. We should say before we begin our first segment that we are going to do a WePlay YouPlay this month. We are going to talk about one game at length, and this is overdue. This is something that we've been wanting to do for a while, and we're trying to like, you know what?

Fuck it. This month is the time to do it this month's we play you play is 16-bit JRPG classic Chrono Trigger coming Monday, August 26 And what a great soundtrack. It sounds good. Yeah, it's good. One of the best ever. So I started, and I guess we're not in that segment yet,

so I don't, I mean, I'm just gonna say, because this is not what I'm gonna be playing. Yeah. But I am playing it. Yeah. And I start, as soon as you guys said, okay, we're on, I got out my analog and immediately fucking started playing Chromatrix. Wow, right away.

Right away. I'm really torn, because I could play it CRT, original cart, in my Super NES, but that would mean sitting in the dark a lot, in a garage, which is hard to do in the summer, it's kind of rough. Yeah, but it is your duty and you will do it. God damn, it is such a beautiful game. Yeah, such a beautiful game

I'm excited. I'm not sure what to play it on I have I've As somebody who has a lot of little handheld emulators and things of that nature. I love let's just say I have a lot of options Well, here's here's what I've learned. I can play it on my Vita. I've learned I can play it on my Vita. I can play it on my Vita. I have learned that it is unfortunately available in many ugly versions. Yes, that's the thing. I was like, should I just find the most aesthetically unpleasing version?

Should I just find like the ugliest possible port and play that one just for the sake of it? I also have it for, I think the DS. Yeah, the DS one. It looks like shit on the DS. Oh, interesting. Looks like shit on the DS is not available. I remember the DS one looking all right.

It does not look great. It does not look great. I was really bummed out when I, cause I was like, I dug out my DS or my 3DS and I was like, oh fuck, I'm gonna play it on my 3DS. Not a really beautiful port. It never came out for the Game Boy Advance. It is available for like iOS.

I have it on my iPad. I have it on everything that I can have it on. But I think playing it on the Super NES emulator on an analog pocket is a way to go. Okay. It's really pretty. Cause I have a, I always forget what it's called, the RGX35 whatever.

Oh yeah, you could do it on that. SP. You could do it on your Steam Deck. Yeah, Steam Deck seems like overkill. I might want to take this on the go, you know? Steam Deck looks, I mean like, if you've ever played a retro game on the Steam Deck with scan lines, ooh!

Ooh! Look, I gotta sort it out quick, cause we gotta play this thing. Have you ever played a retro game on the Steam Deck with scanlines? Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I always ask, what are you playing? No, that's my question. What are you playing? It's me the Resident Evil Merchant and I'm here to ask you guys what you're playing. Resident Evil Merchant, thank you so much. I did not mean to say that I was taking your job from you. I was more just like, I ask it, I tee you up and then you bring it home. That's okay, that's alright. Kind of an alley-oop sort of situation. Well, slam dunk. Ba-bam! Resident Evil Merchant knows ball.

That's cool. Hey, do you play a little ball? I would imagine you ball. You're very tall. Yeah. I am tall and I'm a waste of your height. If you didn't. I ball.

But see, you think that, and I feel like I hear about this a lot actually, where like basketball players get into the game because they are tall, but they like don't like it that much. There are a lot of reluctant to basketball players. Yeah. Even ones at very high levels who like don't really like the game don't really feel passionate about it But because of their genetic you know gifts they end up doing it anyway. I'm super passionate about it I love it. I love it. Just done be careful where you play I played

At the beach and the police were called and they were like you can't do that here sir and I was like Okay, probably not a lot of places to Do that well a lot of sand Doesn't bounce in the sand very be some concrete course my balls in the sand just fine, okay? That's what the police were set about I see okay, okay, I think we're having a misunderstanding. We really don't need to pursue this any further. We're crystal clear. I don't even know what I was going to say.

I'm just upset that I heard that. Resident Evil Merchant, you know, right now there is the SAG-AFTRA strike order for the Interactive Media Agreement. You are one of the most prominent video game performers. Oh. Yeah, do you have any thoughts on this collective action? Well, I don't know. I can't speak to my replacement. Okay, sure.

I don't know if that was a non-union hire or if it was that they were like, well, this guy's not in the union. We gotta get rid of him. And then they made the whole game sag after. I'm not certain. Okay. I'm not union you risen evil merchant are not union Union but it will not

Yeah, like taft heart lead or something. I don't know what that is kind of don't know either actually It's like a thing. I love you took a swing though. It's kind of right. Yeah, sure close But no I fully support the union. Yeah. And if I ever get a chance to get into a union, oh, they're never gonna get me out. But I am not in a union. Here's what I will I think we can say about this issue real quick, which is there is a rule not to work on these games, these these truck companies right now. There's not necessarily a rule not to talk about them, but I think we all, the three of us,

we're just sort of collectively decided that in the spirit of strike, we're gonna try not to highlight games that come from these struck companies for the time being. And I think sometimes that's going to mean that we lean a little bit into retro gaming as we are for this month's We Play, You Play. But we'll definitely be tiptoeing around it as best we can,

trying to support our SAG-AFTRA fellows. And yeah, just generally, I mean, none of us are also going to render work on any of these games. Yeah, of course. No, but I think we're not like, it seems like this work order that came from the union is a little bit less doctrinaire than it was for the film and TV strike where it was more like, hey, don't be, try not to be promoting any media from these struck companies.

It feels like there's less of that, but I think we still kind of are like, just on our own, we're just kind of deciding we're going to try to just not focus on those things, which might mean some current AAA games or AA games maybe get a little bit less focus. But in addition to retro games, there are certainly indie games, games that come from boutique publishers that have signed the interim agreement or don't have voice and motion capture acting. So they're just not privy to this, this whole thing. But anyway, just wanted to kind of get that prelude out there just so we can sort of talk

about what you know, where things might be going over the next hopefully not hopefully relatively short stretch. I'm playing golf, go fish. I'm playing old maid. Is a good games. They they have saying powerful reason. Excellentid. These are good games. They have saying power for a reason. Excellent games. Yeah, very good.

Good design. No judgment. Maybe, what's that thing with the? Perfection. No, that's a good game too, but what, the hoop and the stick? The hoop and stick? Where you chase the hoop?

I love that game. Yeah, more of a ball and cup game. Why does the hoop wanna get away so bad? Look, I'm trying to get this hoop to stay. I don that game. Yeah more of a ball and cup guy. Why does that hoop want to get away so bad? Look, I'm trying to get this hoop to stay. I don't know where it's going. Just want to be friends with the hoop. Give me that hoop. Yeah. I love the hoop. You used to play basketball. You're really tall. I love ball. I ball everywhere.

Ball in a McDonald's bathroom. Oh god. I ball in a Wendy's bathroom. Okay, so that's... I ball in a McDonald's bathroom. Oh god. I ball in a Wendy's bathroom Okay, so that's I ball in a Burger King I just want to say just as a kind of a big three of fast food burger chains But that's like I ball in a long joke silver's bathroom a little bit of a lower tier I say this were like the short form improv game new choice I would say that those options were all kind of same choice. Yeah, they're all kind of like a to a Sort of you know, uh, I'm balling a jiffy lube is that we're looking for I mean, it's it's something else. I will something different. I'll do it after the show

I'm balling the back of a traitor Joe Heather, what are you playing? Uh, I'm ballin' the back of a Trader Joe. Heather, what are you playin'? Uh, I'm playing, um... So I've been playing my analog Pocket. Um, but I decided to dabble in the Visions of Mana demo this week. Um, uh, Secret of Mana was one of my favorite games on the Super Nintendo. Yes. Again, we're talking about scores, we're talking about soundtracks. The secret of Mana soundtrack is S tier,

like one of the best of all time. So every time a Mana game comes out, I will try it. I'll be like, I'll give this the benefit of the doubt. I played the demo, I haven't finished the demo. And I gotta say, there's too much happening. It's too much Oh, there's too much. I don't need all of it. I don't need all this stuff. There's like And maybe it's because they dump you off with like a full party in the middle of a fucking battlefield and you're just like Oh shit

and it gives you like splash screen after splash screen of like how the Inventory system works and like what your ring menu can do. And I'm like, these things are usually like stepped out a little bit. But I feel like it's also got an extremely busy HUD. I don't need all this stuff on screen. Sure, yeah. I don't need it.

Like Secret of Mana was so beautiful because it was so clean. It was just like a really stripped down interface. And yeah, it was a 16-bit game, but there are cluttered 16-bit experiences. For example, Wizardry on the Wonder Swan has like mostly menus and very little gameplay. But anyway, it's a beautiful game.

It's gorgeous to look at. The graphics are shiny and sleek, and the character design is weird and playful, and so far I'm really liking it, but I do wish there was a little less happening. And I'm not saying that like a grandma, I'm just like, guys, do we need all this stuff happening all the time?

I see, I see, yeah. Like, wouldn't it be nice if you could just, that's part of the joy of Elden Ring, is that when you aren't like actively in a menu, it's a pretty blank screen. Yes, that is, it's a huge pet peeve of mine, is that just, is that there's so much clutter on screen, and it's overwhelming, I feel like,

with a lot of modern games, where it's like, I feel like with a lot of modern games, where it's like, I don't need a mini map with a bunch of, you know, different icons denoting points of interest. It just, it starts to feel like, like, hey, here's a bunch of tasks you need to complete, versus like, here's a world you're going to be immersed in, you know? But I also, yeah, to your point, there's just like a quality of like the overall beauty of the thing. Just like once you get too many UX elements on screen, it's just like it's conflicting with the art

of the characters and the environments. Unfortunately, I mean, I haven't looked at the art style of what the game actually looks like, but like the image of like the, you know, like the cover art for it as it were, looks gorgeous, and that's almost enough for me to be like, I gotta see what the fuck this is. Pull up some images of visions of Mana,

and just look at that art style. It's really inviting, and it doesn't look like the sort of, I feel like Final Fantasy has become more and more gothic as time has gone on. And this is a bright, broad spectrum color palette. It's a pretty game to look at. It's kind of almost a watercolor sort of quality. Almost Dragon Quest 11-ish. Yeah, yeah, it's in the neighborhood.

But yeah, oh, there it is. We have it on our big screen. Look at that. Right, that's pretty gorgeous. It looks like, I mean, the oh there it is on the we have it on our big screen. Look at that right. That's pretty gorgeous It looks like I mean the cover art looks like it's a golden hour like it's it's shot during golden hour like on a Wachowski film it's it's beautiful. It's beautiful, but it also just looks like the Era that it's trying to evoke. Like they don't really make covers

that look like this anymore for games. They don't. So I am gonna continue forth with the demo. I don't know if Visions of Mana was on my to-do list for our second half of 2024. I don't believe it was. But here it is. I'm to doing it.

And so that's what I played this week. You know, since you mentioned the Chrono Trigger DS port, my memory of it, and since it's also a JRPG, my memory of it is that one thing that was nice because of the two screens, and a lot of games would do this, it kept like the, you know, like if you were in battle, like it was like, you know, the one screen that was just like the play space

and another screen where your menus were. And it's nice that there was like a delineation there. So yeah, I don't know, obviously, that's a unique piece of hardware, but I agree with your overall point. Like get this fucking clutter out of here. Yeah, let us look at the game that you made. You spent so much time making it.

Let us look at it. But yeah, that's what I've been playing, is the visions of Monodemo and my analog pocket. Nick, what are you playing? You know, first off, that was terrifying. Why? Nothing, it was, you know what, it was actually great. I was just not ready for it. I thought maybe you're gonna go to That's like a to like a and a half kind of I think I don't think you need to give the resident evil merchant notes

And also looking am I the guy to do it? I don't know. Like. I'm ballin' in office depot. This is good. Yeah, I like it. I just like to visualize different places. Yeah, I mean, but then when I think about what's actually happening, it's very not good.

I'm ballin' a large tire on a farm. See, now we're gettin' some. So that's a third beat. That's a third beat right there All right, so hey, you know what you ended up mentioning it Heather when you were talking Oh, I did Elden Ring because that's what I've been playing. Oh, yay. I don't know.

You know, this is the thing. The list of struck companies, there is a search engine that SAG-AFTRA has, but it seems like it's maybe being a little bit skittish right now. So I couldn't, this one, it didn't pop up as covered. The convenience bargaining group, I read this last week in the podcast, whom SAG-AFTRA is negotiating, includes Activision, Blindlight LLC, Disney Electronic Arts, Formos Interactive, Insomniac, Llama Productions LLC, Take-Two, Voice Works Productions, and WB Games. I don't believe that Elden Ring is on here, but if it is covered in this agreement, you know, this may be the last I'll talk about it for a while.

Anyway, it is all I've been playing over the past bit of time with my spare gaming time. I think the last time I mentioned it was a couple of weeks ago and I just kind of talked about that I was dipping my toe back into it. I have taken out Margit the Fel Omen, Godfinala Queen of the full moon star scourge radon I just got the mimic tier So I'm just kind of cranking through this game pretty well Where does that but like a third of the way through it 40% of the way through it? I'm making good progress. Not quite half. Yeah, not quite half. Anyway, the thing I'm doing

I'm playing a strength build and I'm using a brick hammer, which is so fun because it's just like one of the dumbest looking weapons Yeah, it's a stick with a brick. It looks so fucking fun, because it's just like one of the dumbest looking weapons. It's a stick with a brick. It looks so fucking dumb, and I'm going around killing gods. It's so stupid. Anyway, and also my character just looks like complete shit. He's just ugly and old, he's got a bad mustache, and he's wearing like all mismatched gear.

So that's really fun to just be like, run around as like a hobo with a big club. I feel like it's hard to look good in the lands between. Sure, yeah. Because like you have to get, if you're playing with an armor set that matches and goes together, you're gonna find better armor sooner.

Because like I feel like even the complete sets that you can find, those aren't gonna serve you for very long and often they're not gonna be tailored to your build. Yeah they're not gonna be optimized. Yeah so you get something like I'll wear this fucking hat or whatever this helmet this this suit of armor these these graves these boots and then call it a day you look like shit all the time it sucks. There's like one good-looking character in all of the lands between and it's like Ronnie, and that's like it That's right. What about millennia? Yeah sure yeah, yeah

Look tons of smoke shows in this game. Okay, but like the armor The armor is kind of cringe actually I feel like I feel like if you're gonna summon people in front of a boss, that the weirder they look, more likely the better they are. Yes. I mean, let me solo her. A pot on the head, diaper. That's it. Pretty good look.

I will just say, it's been a while. When did the base game come out? Was it 2021, 2022? Oh, Jesus. So it's been a while, but I'm surprised by how much of the main path I still remember. But also I think this speaks to what Heather was saying of just how elegantly you're guided through this game, the guidance of grace, just sort of like pointing you in a general direction without being like, here's a question mark on your mini map

that you have to go, an objective in your, you know, in the pause menu that tells you exactly what you're gonna do in the quest log. Hey, are you heading to the big castle? Exactly, yeah, an NPC in your fucking ear barking at you. Like it's just sort of like, you just have a general sort of idea of where to go. I'm just kind of surprised by how much I remember, but also I'm just like impressed.

Again, I think I said this earlier, how well it is conveyed and how efficiently. I'm also having more fun than last time. I'm just saying something because I already love this game, but I think part of it is just I'm just a little bit more confident and competent and also just playing offensively. I think that's partly because I finished Sekiro since my last time I played Elden Ring. I think I just like sort of got into, you know what, the way you have to tackle at least that specific game, but I think generally a FromSoft game is like, I'm going to play

a little bit more aggressively and be a little bit more assertive and be a little bit less stick and move and just wait for the perfect moment and be scared and be tentative and be a little bit more like, I'm going to take it to you and fight this on my terms. I don't think I'm good at it, but I am taking out bosses quite a bit faster than the last time and yeah, I just kind of feel a general sort of sense of overall improvement and just more – again, I'll reveal myself, just more confidence in how to play the game. So I'm really enjoying it. It's a true masterpiece and I'm really glad

I just committed to just playing all the way through it this time. I'll let people know when I finish it. I read an article about a way that you can, a way that helps you beat the final Erd Tree boss. And I was so delighted when I read the article, but I'm worried that it is a spoiler if I share it. But it's not a spoiler about the story. It is a technique that you can use. In a family of many

techniques. I think you can just say it. Matt, you've beaten it. I'm fine being spoiled in the room if it's a spoiler, and then if we deem it too spoilerific, we will just cut it. Okay, well a lot of the attacks that the final boss of the URD tree DLC has are low to the ground, right? Somebody has discovered that if you go in encumbered and you have the fat roll, that you spend longer, lower than his low attacks.

That's fascinating. So if you go in heavy, you have an easier time dodging his stuff. That's really interesting. I love when people figure out tech like that. That rocks. So not quite a spoiler. I think you're fine.

I think we can keep that in. I think it's fine. Heather spoiled the last boss of the archery shut up what does encumbered mean dumbass little kid you're dumb too yeah I don't know what that word is you know I guess you haven't guess you ever been encumbered before huh fucking little dumb mad at people we're making up? Fuck you. Fuck you! If I ever see you, it's on site. A ball in a... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, dog was hydrated. Yeah. Matt, what are you playing? Well, I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3. Nice. And let me just tell ya,

last time I told you guys that I, I made it to act two. I'm in act two. Okay. That's the last week, right? Yeah. I actually, guess what, scratch that, I'm in act three now, dog.

What? And yeah, I'm just blazing through this goddamn thing and I'm not doing stuff. Yeah. I'm just doing stuff, but I have... You know what to do. I know what to do and to, you know, speak to the confidence thing, too.

I know what's going on, and I know that I can get through these encounters. I took Balthazar down in one try. Wow. In the first round of the fight, I took him down. That's incredible. And then you have to deal with all his little goons and things like that. But I was able to just focus all my attacks on him and just killed him first round of the fight.

I love to hear this. And it was very exciting. I've been doing a couple little things a little different. I am going down the light path with Shadowheart, for example. I tried to break up with Lae'zel and she would not. She just kind of scared me into it. Well, and I also, I did a thing where I got a dialogue prompt. I meant to text you guys this,

but I knew I wanted to save it for the show. I got a dialogue prompt in my camp from Halston, the druid who can turn into a bear, that he was like, hey, I wanna fuck you so bad. Yeah, he gets super horny at a certain point. And I was like, I opened up my menu and just hit quick save, because I have to break up with her

and see what this is gonna be. And I go over to Lazy Ale and she's like, and I'm like, hey, so like, Austin's kinda down to do this kinda crazy thing, you know? And she's like, oh, is he? Because that would be the end of us. And I'm like, okay, So I end it right there. And then I go through it with the romance scene,

I think it's called, in the game. And he gets so horny, he turned into a bear on accident. And he's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That doesn't always happen to me. And then you have these options. And they are by far the horniest options I've seen in the game. They're like, no, it's okay, I like it. And so he's like, really, you sure?

And then he turns into a bear, and then it kind of like, he kind of gets close to you guys, like it's about to go down, and it pans away, and it pans up into this tree, and this squirrel has an acorn in his hand, and he drops it and he's like, what the fuck? It's so funny. It is so funny and so good. Worth seeing, like worth even typing it into YouTube and just like seeing it. It is legitimately very funny.

It's like the kind of joke that would be like the nutty professor. Like the squirrel seeing people f**king and dropping his acorn. It was so funny. But then of course I had to reload my save because I can't do that to Lisa sure But you know little saves coming to see a cut see I had to see I just had to see what it was Go what was going on? but now we're we're firmly in the like in the main part of like in the main part of

Axe 3 where I'm having to kind of go to these two bad guys and you know make some choices there, and I don't know when I'm gonna wrap this up to be honest, but Because I know that he's the thing when you get to act 3 that's kind of when the game starts There's so much in the city of Baldur's Gate Wow the whole all of activity is like a number of quest as long as one and two like it is so it is so much But I've been trying to do different things where I can and Having a really really fun time my party right now is myself of course who I named Matt That's fun because I didn't do that last time like it

and I didn't make that much of an effort to make him look like me, but I was like what if he was kind of like a I like it and I didn't make that much of an effort to make him look like me but I was like what if he was kind of like a Duh version of me with a mustache kind of like a cool guy and my party is my girls. It's Laisel It's carlac. I could never I don't think I'd ever play this game without carlac. Ah I just don't know how you could do it like I mean you did a character, but it's just a great character You play without Laisel. Yeah, I mean that's true. You're one to talk. And now I still love my life. Yeah.

I have Jahira in there too, cause Jahira wrecked house. Did you say Baezel? Yeah. Nicely done. I didn't invent it, but yeah. Oh well, okay. Yeah.

Asteribae. Sure. What? Little bit more of a long walk, but you can at least claim credit for it. That's mine. Yeah. But that's it, that's credit for it. That's mine. Yeah But that's it. That's it for me. That's all I'm playing

Baldur's Gate 3 gonna lock that up and maybe next week. I'll have started a different game to talk about that is like more of a safer zone To speak about I'm just impressed by your pace you cuz you're like that game like I the second time I played through Baldur's Gate And you know I did play on tactician But I but I still wasn't like replaying the same encounters like tons of time I just like it just took me even longer cuz I did more more shit like it did even like I think once I Started going towards the end game instead of being like well. I should finish this I was like

Oh, I'm gonna clean up every single quest. I think like it did absolutely everything I could in my second playthrough, and it was just like I could I'm gonna clean up every single quest. I think it did absolutely everything I could in my second play through. And it was just like, I don't know how this game that took me 130 hours somehow took me 150 hours the second time through. That's interesting, because I guess with me, my first play through, I feel like I did a lot more save scumming to the point where I save scummed

like 10 hours back. Like I would like do that. I went back way far at one point, because I read that I missed something or locked myself out of something. And I was like I want to see that I want to actually do that because I might Not get to play this game again little I know you know less than a year later. I'm playing it again But I would go back quite a bit And then I would also just make more mistakes on accident and like die a lot more and I haven't died once Like I just haven't like had a complete party wipe the whole time

I've maybe been downed, but like I haven't lost an entire You know fell to a boss or an encounter one time this round so I've just kind of and I and I I know the map pretty well now and I also just know like where stuff is and Like the things that I didn't if something seems different I'm gonna go toward that type of thing But if there's more like I've done this before I might just kind of blaze through that part of it You can get me play this fucking game again. It's really good It's like once once the next big major update comes in I don't have to play this an honor I mean here's that I might do it again like it's a really good game

But also I am playing on the easiest mode because I I'm not trying to challenge myself I don't got anything to prove sure just trying to have a good time. Yeah, that's all you got to do Let's have a good time play games however you want to play them. These were the games that they played That's a segment and it's over now We talked about this before we're not paying you for songs We can't we cannot it's not a budget you can't. We cannot pay you. It's not in our budget. You can't just sing a song being like, they have to pay me for this because I sing a song.

We can't do that and we're not doing it. Ugh, all right, well, maybe we'll renegotiate that at a future date. It's not on the table. It's not on the table. It's not like a deal point that we're gonna negotiate. It's not even redlined, it's no lined. Point five.

I could be interested in a fraction if I'm being honest point five point Five said you what's that a unit of huh of what? You tell me you know what you have a deal all right That was a game that they laid blade. What are you playing? They've answered now For our main segment this week, we're doing tears of the kingdom Tiers our tier list segment console aesthetics So are we just talking about I guess that the thing to talk about here first all off We're just talking consoles not handhelds right?

Hell's not only bugs into a TV handheld handheld is a I made that's a separate episode With virtual boy and s here we can't do all these things as one episode. We gotta do it. I agree with you I'm just making sure Wait, what is a virtual boy? This is a good question I cuz I cuz that there's also enough VR headsets where that could maybe be its Own thing now, too VR headset either it's an abomination is what it is. It's a I think it's a console cuz you can't it's not portable. Mm-hmm

Interesting we can we can we can cross that bridge bridge when we get to it. All right I'm not sure where exactly it factors in the The other question I have, are controllers a thing here or are we just talking about the box? You know, I think, cause we did a controller one. Yeah, I think controllers are their own thing. We did do it. We're talking about the box. We're just like, look at the box, what's in the,

do we like the box? We're talking about the box. Okay, great. The machine, not the box that it comes in. Right, we're not talking boxes. We're not talking like this. You have to save all my boxes. You don't have to do that. I want to're not talking boxes. We're not talking like this. You know how I saved all my boxes? You don't have to do that.

I don't want to clear your mind and you can just get rid of those. No, no, no, just the console boxes. Oh, the console, like, wait, so the machines? No, no, so the box that my Genesis came in, I still have. Kind of a cool thing to have. That is cool. I have all of them.

They're flattened and they're in a big portfolio. My thing with boxes is I'll keep them for as long as the warranty is active. And then once the warranty is out, the box is. I have a dream of having them in a room of game stuff at some point. Yeah, I support it. But I don't have that room

so that currently they're just all in my hole. Yeah, I have cats that are like, that cardboard, give me that. They go crazy. I just get rid of everything. I know you do. I saw you. I saw you buy something and throw it straight in the trash. A new iPhone.

Uh, okay. Let's get into it. We're going to try to go in chronological order, going back towards the beginning of the first console generation back in the 1970s. Where were we at, 1972, somewhere around there? Looks like it. We're gonna go off of, where are we going off?

We got 1972, first generation. Yeah. So we're starting off with the Magnavox Odyssey. Is that what's up first? What do we got here? Magnavox Odyssey, yeah, it's first on the list here. Okay, so let's look at the sum bitch. Let's get a good long look at it

and let's describe what we're looking at here. So I have not used a Magnavox Odyssey. This is a thing that I think I have seen in person, but not in operation. This basically is, I mean, this is very like tronny, I feel like. Yeah. It's like kind of like a, you know,

it's got a wood panel quality to it. The controller is very different than what we know as a modern game controller and certainly versus even a Even a joystick again the controllers not what's what not the issue here. It is mostly white as wood paneling on the side and It also is a little Star Wars II. I feel like it's like kind of like this this black top to it It kind of looks like a toaster without a slot It's giving succession as well kind of that sort of like the inny vibe where they're in the, have you seen, not succession,

what's that show? Severance? Severance, I mean Severance. Oh, okay. The other S show. Yeah. Which, those are the two. Yeah.

Those are the two. It has a retro futuristic look that it evokes a, what Don Draper would call a video game machine. Like it looks like a, video games. It looks like a black speaker that has been wrapped in white plastic and then given a wooden finish. I do like the Odyssey logo.

I like the- I love that. I like the, you know, just like the font is very much like, you know, first gen computing just sorta typed out. I like the color way. I mean, I like the white, the black and the brown. I mean, I don't know, to me this feels like the slots ended a B.

Yeah, I'd give this a B. Kind of a baseline B tier console. I happen to zoom in on the little controller and the, I don't know how you would have used this, but the options on the controller are reset, vertical, horizontal, and English. Yeah, I think this is, I feel like some of this stuff was just built

into the hardware, cause it wasn't like there was a way to toggle it. There wasn't like a shell and it wasn't individual games didn't have the settings. Right, I also think the Odyssey was just built into the hardware because it wasn't like there was a way to toggle it. There wasn't like a shell and it wasn't individual games didn't have the settings. I also think the Odyssey was just, it wasn't like video games the way we know them. It was shapes. I think it was just stuff that you,

it was like a kind of an interactive screensaver. I don't even think it had other things on the system, the original Odyssey. Some of the, yeah, you know, I wish I had done more research on this, but this is like, yeah, some of those first, those super duper early consoles were just like, it's what's built into the box, there's no way to swap in a cartridge or a card,

there's no way to get other things on here, it just is what it is. Anyway, I think that's fun to look at, I like that thing. It's a nice museum piece. I can already tell that I'm gonna be frustrated with my own lack of language when it comes to describing visual aesthetics. It's gonna be a real bummer.

I guess visual aesthetics is also stupid to say, like saying ATM machine. No, I think things gonna, you know, I think audio can have its own aesthetic quality. I think that's fine. Oh no. Is this the second console? This is the second one. Well, so this is a dedicated Pong machine.

I think this one kind of looks like shit, but also I don't know which one is the canonical, like this was the original one that came out. This was the home Pong version. Again, this is a dedicated piece of hardware that did one thing. Like, is this the right, or is that like a reissue? Was that like someone else's, you know?

This one was, it says here that this is Atari's Home Pong console released through Sears in 1975. Okay, so this is the one that was released in retail back in the day. So this one has a, kind of that ugly sort of like when they try to use, what the fuck kind of... Digital calculator. Yes, digital calculator.

Thank you very much, Heather. When they try to use a digital calculator to create letters instead of numbers. That's at the top of it. The Pong logo is awesome. The Atari logo is good. Those are a little bit less centered in it. This kind of logo is awesome. The Tari logo is good. Those are a little bit less centered in it. This kind of looks like a set of stereo speakers. It kind of looks like...

That has the paddles mounted on them. Because you know, like I don't know what that phenomenon is called, but you know when you can, like when you look at something and it looks like it has eyes? Yeah. It kind of looks like it has eyes and it kind of looks like Clippy the little keyboard guy. The paperclip guy. I think he looks like a frog. the little keyboard guy, the paperclip guy. I think he looks like a frog.

It is a little froggy, I'd say more frog than flippy. I'm gonna say I hate this. I don't like it either. So I'm assuming that these two paddles come off of the base, that the base itself is just this singular central box, because I can't. Yeah, is this two pieces? How does this work?

I don't know how it works. And I feel like one of those videos that they show of like a Gen Z person trying to look at a regular phone and being like, what is this? Yeah, I love being as old as I am and still like having something that's so old I can't wrap my head around it as a piece of tech.

So it only plays pong. Each of the panels has a turn dial to allow you to move the paddles on screen up and down. And that's all the system does. It looks like something you would find on the floor of your car. I'm not a fan of this. I give this a, what's our lowest?

Is it F? F is the lowest, yeah. I'll give it a D. Yeah, I give this a, what's our lowest? Is it F? F is the lowest, yeah. I'll give it a D. Yeah, I think this is a D tier for me. I will say if you look at it, just someone's photo in the wild. Like I'm just looking through some other images,

search here, you just see like this is on someone's just like coffee table with a bunch of like wadded tissues and batteries. It looks a lot better there. It looks a lot cooler in like normal light. In an actual space. That makes me think that like just like the publicity still or whatever is a little less flattering.

That's a much better look. That might make me think more, that's more like a C. The image you just showed us makes it look like an old fashioned radio. Yeah. I like it, it's a C. I can put it in a C, yeah, why not? Man.

There also were a few different Pong units is the thing. So it's like, this is like, for instance, this is the super Pong one that was issued. This is an actual museum piece. Oh, wow. And that one's a little bit more, you know, it gets away from the, just the look is a little bit different. It's got a little bit more brown, a little bit more wood paneling on it versus like the black and silver that dominates the main one.

How fucking boring is this to listen to? It's not boring at all. This must suck, right? No, no. Is this dog shit? People wanted this to happen. If you guys need me to do a segment, like if you're worried about being boring,

I can spice it up. Yeah, we might be flailing here a little bit. We'll see how this goes. We'll check in with you if we need you. All flailing here a little bit. We'll see how this goes. We'll check in with you if we need you. All right, I'm right here. We should stand in by. I hang out until the end of the show. Yeah, we're aware.

I suspect you're maybe balling in the headgum bathroom. No. OK. I don't ball where I work. I don't want to get arrested. I don't want to get kicked out. Don't ball here, please. Honestly, it's reassuring that you don't want to get arrested, I don't want to get kicked out. Don't ball here please. Honestly it's reassuring that you don't do that.

I'll ball in a street drain, but I won't ball at work. Street drain? We got the Colecovision up, is that what we're looking at? That next one up is the Fairchild channel F. Did we skip the Coleco-star? The Calico Vision? That's until later though, right? Oh, that one comes later, okay. I'm thinking of a separate thing.

The Calico Telstar was a different unit. Fairchild Channel F. Boy. It looks like a machine that you put dollar bills in to get coins. It looks like if your grandmother was a telemarketer, this would be on her desk. Yeah.

It's a, I don't know, it's a wood paneled machine as often they were in the 70s. It has five buttons on the front, one is reset, and then buttons one through four as labeled. There is a cartridge slot. It comes with two panels paddles that look like they distribute electroshock therapy. Yeah, this looks like this would just be

in the Fallout TV series. Yeah. Like this is like, you know, this is like what the future of computing was back in the 50s, you know. This looks really, really dated. It is kind of cool though. I think, here's what I think, Nick.

I like the boxiness of it. I like that it's trapezoidal. As we get into more familiar consoles, this will be less boring of the conversation because then it's just gonna be taped. Well, I'm not bored to be honest. I'm riveted. I'm not bored.

Okay. I'm not bored. People wanted this. They did? I feel like we mentioned it one time and like, oh should do that and people were like yeah, that sounds good I want to hear that all right console aesthetics. I give this a Because it kind of looks like technology. I saw in the East Germany Stasi Museum, I would give this a or East Berlin

I'm gonna give this a, or East Berlin. I'm gonna give this a D. Yeah, I think this is a D tier for me. Though I do wish these pictures were less like showcasy and more like what it looks like in a room. Yeah, maybe as we're going here, Matt, if we wanna also bring up some photos of just like it in society and how it was actually being used. Should I type in Fairchild channel F in society?

I think so. I think it's the search term. But yeah, my initial impression is it's not an F because it is, it kind of looks like see. There it has it. You see it with normal light. It has kind of a glossy sheen to it. It kind of looks like it just shines. Oh, wow.

The controllers still are threatening. Yeah. But the device itself now looks like an answering machine for an old 1990s telephone. Right. It looks like you slot a cassette into the top and you hear, hi, this is the Fairchilds, we can't come to the phone right now,

so leave a message at the beep, beep, like that. It looks like a polygraph machine that you'd see in the Rockford files. Just like a very dated piece of technology. Who named it the Channel F? I love the name, the Fairchild Channel F, or sorry, yeah, Fairchild Channel F. I do like that the cartridges were yellow

That's a high contrast cartridge. What did you say? So do you know what the F stands for right? What does it stand for? fun of course Yeah, the yellow cartridges actually do make this up a notch especially because they really pop and then they've got the one yellow button which which Works really nicely with it. All right, I think this is a C tier. I like the yellow button. Whoa, it's gone up to a C tier. I think it moved this up a little bit.

All right, it's a C tier console. There it is, the Fairchild Channel F. Atari 2600 is up next. This is a console I'm familiar with. My grandparents had one of these. This was what video games were when I would go to visit them. I have fondness for this machine.

I think it is, again, very dated looking. This is where these started using joysticks, so it's a little bit more of a familiar control mechanism. I do like the controller slot. I like how it's angular. It feels very Star Wars-y, maybe kind of vintage Battlestar Galactica. Yeah. It's another wood panel another wood panel on yeah of technology with

black matte finish and a bunch of Toggle switches across the top that evoke to me old synthesizer. Yeah, I forget what the fuck those were What those toggles all were for I got a I got a nod I got a nod just then yeah I felt pretty good about it. I'm agreeing it up because there's an overlap between ARP Synthesizers that they have the same names as the Atari Consoles oh wow which is the ARP is like they were just like the the 2600 the 5200 the 7800 yeah I'm sorry 600 an ARP Odyssey where they had like the patching like the 70 synthesizer, and they look the same oh wow

I was just looking it up because I did not notice that before wow how about that that I was I was dead on That's the that's the best not I've ever received a pretty good to be validated I felt I felt more validated Than any other time in my life Big big feeling So any other time in my life. I felt big feelings. So this feels very industrial. It does not feel like a machine. It feels like a machine that you would see in a, I don't know, in like a business center.

It doesn't feel like, it's not playful. It doesn't say, oh, you're gonna have fun using this. It almost looks like a guitar foot pedal. Like it's not, it's just not a, but it's also not ugly. It's like, this says like dad's VCR. You know what I mean? It's like, the dad watches like dad's VCR. Yeah, I mean it's like it's

The dad watches his home movies on this thing. Yeah, I I Give this a C. It's just a C I guess we're just I mean we're just gonna cram this whole generation into C tier is that was that word No, cuz we're gonna be here up there. Oh, we beat here. Oh, that's right. That's right. We beat here. Yeah the Odyssey's a bit here I almost just wonder if this is like yeah, maybe it is just another fucking seat here What do you think Matt? It's not uglier than the fair child I think if I was gonna bump one of them down to D just to do it I would probably move the the fucking I would I'm in favor of bumping down pong if I'm being on it

I looked better Remember that we got to remember that I think they're all C tier I'm being honest. All right, let's. Pong looked better on an actual table. It looked better, yeah it did. Yeah, we gotta remember that. We gotta remember that. I think they're all C tier, it's okay. All right, that's fine. It's fine at C. How about the Intellivision? Oh, the Intellivision.

Now here's a home console that looks like two phones used on opposite sides of prison glass. So this is a, yeah, it's got the telephone cords attached to the very cumbersome controllers. So I knew someone who had an Intellivision. The kid in my Boy Scout troop had it and we played it at his parents' place and it fucking sucked.

I remember it sucking. I remember being like, because it's like, you basically got just like a numpad and that's what you're using for input. It's a really, really inelegant way to play a game And then you've also got a paddle like a thing that you can turn I will say yeah on second glance With the cartridge with it with the with the screens Slotted over that number pad yeah, that's a fucking iPod the way that yeah the way they're mounted

It does look very iPod II. I got a question for you Nick Do you think it was worse for your friend that he had this or they had to entertain your ass? I had to circle back. Sorry it so the the actual controllers for this Baffling system. Yeah look like little iPods They've got like a little screen where you slot in a card, I think, that like lays over the number pad to let you choose what buttons to press based on any individual game.

And then at the bottom it has a turn wheel. Yeah, there would be a little overlays that you would get. So it would just say like, oh, you're playing this baseball game, this button is what you do to throw the ball or whatever. That being said, despite its similarities, it also just looks like an Atari. It's got the same wooden panel angled base,

but God, it looks, I mean, it's just a depressing little piece of shit. I really don't like this one for some reason. It looks better if you, the way, when they had the, in some of the pictures they have the controllers mounted in it and they're kind of vertical. The way they're positioned there, it looks a little bit better. Some of these photos are a little bit more flattering, but yeah, I think this might be a D tier. This is a Z. This is a fucking D. This sucks. It's an ugly, like, look at it compared to even like

the color way of the Atari. Yeah. Like it looks like shit. This one looks like it's dirty. Yeah. It does look pretty dingy. It comes dirty. All right, do we have the Vectrex up?

That's one I wanna talk about. Uh oh, uh oh. Nick wants to talk about the Vectrex. If you've listened to the show since day one, you know that this will be the 30th time Nick has talked about the Vectrex. If you've listened to the show since day one, you know that this will be the 30th time Nick has talked about the Vectrex. Look, the Vectrex is cool. That's a cool piece of hardware.

It had a vertically mounted monitor that was integrated into it. And it used vector graphics. So it was just, you know, basically all lines. Like if you know that the old, I think Asteroid is a point of reference for a lot of people for like, So it was just basically all lines. Like if you know that the old, I think Asteroid is a point of reference for a lot of people for like this was a game

that kind of just used line work. Some versions of Missile Command kind of looked like that. Do we have any other shots of this we could bring up, Matt? It's Vectrex with a C, not with a K. The Vectrex was available to play at that video game museum I visited last year in the Netherlands. Bring up one of these ones with a game on it. Look at that video game museum I visited last year in the Netherlands. Here bring one of these ones with a game on it.

Look at that. Isn't that fucking cool looking? That does look pretty cool. And I will say it looked, it looked fucking sick in person. That's a cool looking piece of hardware. Yeah. It also comparatively looks futuristic.

It really does. Compared to the other machines that were out at the time. Yes. And like those machines, it had like little, or like the Intellivision, it had like little screens that you would put over the monitor so that you could get like different visual gradients like that would kind of set up the vector graphics

that you were looking at. So if you're playing a tank game, the bottom of the screen might be colored green to indicate the ground, and the top of the screen would be colored brown or red to indicate the sky, so that it wasn't just black and white graphics. Yeah, and specifically an overlay for, like you were saying, for the monitor itself,

not for the controller, so again, it changes the aesthetics of it. I think it's a really cool design. I think you're right that it actually looks futuristic. It's also sleek and black. It doesn't have the wood paneling of some of these other ones. And I think just like having this tape monitor

that's kind of built in, this nine by 16, I guess, that it's the reversed aspect ratio the way it is. I think it's really cool looking. The thing that I love about it Is that I can't really separate its TVs from a certain time had a certain shape and this is just that but turn the other way Shape it a particular way to make it look different Is it just actually is it just a three by four on it like it's just a four by three on its side

It might be yeah, I mean it's But anyway, I like the vertical form factor. I think it's cool. To me, this is an A tier, maybe even an S tier. A? Yeah. Fuck. I think it looks great. You don't think this thing is cool as shit?

It's eye-catching. If I saw this in person, I would be the most curious about it of the things that I've seen. Look, compared to everything else we got on this tier list, let's bring the spreadsheet up. Look at that. Look at that versus all the rest of these.

Come on. I think it looks as good as the Odyssey I don't think I think it could be in the Odyssey I would I would I can make peace with it being in the same tier as the Odyssey. All right Put it in B tier it goes in the B tier. Okay, then how about we move over to the Coleco vision? Coleco vision, I hate this fucking thing. This is one I know I think I do like the color logo, but the rest of it, I think, is just so aggressively ugly. It's not different enough than the Intellivision to me.

This machine looks bad. Yeah, and so this is all basically black and silver, except for the, black and gray, rather, except for the Colecovision logo itself, which has a rainbow color way. Honestly, very much like an RGB, like a modern PC hardware sort of look to it. Yeah, it looks,

it looks hollow. I don't know how to, it looks like a toy. No, right, it looks like it weighs like six ounces. Yeah, I don't like this machine. I don't like those phone cords. Yeah, it looks cheap. I don't like this machine. I don't like those phone cords. Yeah, it looks cheap. I don't like this machine. This I think is pretty insane.

I think this is a D or maybe even a fucking F. Are we gonna do an F tier? Is there anything gonna be an F tier? There is an F tier, but is the Colecovision an F? No, maybe it's a D. It's D. I think it's cramming in D. It looks like that other thing.

Yeah, it can keep the other one company. The Intellivision. Colecovision and Intellivision You both are a D That's what we've decided here on Get Played Isn't there isn't Gil and the Simpsons trying to sell a Coleco to somebody? I think so, yeah. You can't go wrong with a Coleco, trust Gil, old buddy.

How about the Atari 5200? I also don't like how this one looks. I think it's just so basic. It just feels like it has no identity. It looks like what you, it looks like a modem. Yeah, it does, it does. It has sort of a router feel to it. Yeah, it looks like something that allows you to do something else. Right.

All black with a strip of silver in the middle kind of bisecting it. Can we see what this thing looks like with some games in it? Yeah. I never messed around with the Atari 5200. It was just the 2600. I don't think a lot of people messed around with the Atari 5200. I think it was a bit of a flop. Yeah. Or was it the 7800? Did the 7800 come back? One of those two machines caused the video game crash.

Yes, yeah. I think it was the 5200. Yeah, I don't, even when you see, even when you see the Atari 5200 in like an environment that's recognizable, it doesn't look like anything. The box there for the Atari 5200 in like an environment that's recognizable, it doesn't look like anything. The box there for the Atari 5200, what we're looking at is a photo of the actual box that it came in with the hardware in front of it.

The box looks better than the console itself. I'll just play with the box, thanks. It looks like something that is mounted on the on the Above your oven to fan your oven right yeah, absolutely. You know what let's have to hear this motherfucker Oh, there it is all right P dog hate to see it Atari 5200 is our first console in the F tier Atari 5200 let's see what the sales figures were here. Atari 5200 was, the 2600 was released in North American 1977, sold 30 million units worldwide. The Atari 5200 was introduced in North America in 1982, was not released overseas and peaked at 1,400,000 units.

So comparatively a huge flop. I think we've got a big boy up next. We got a big boy. We got the NES and the Famicom. So are we going to evaluate these as one thing or read into the Famicom separately from the NES? I think we got to- The Famicom was the Nintendo console, the 8-bit console in Japan.

They got to be separate, I think, right? Yeah, I think so. I'm gonna shock myself. And say that I think that the NES is a better looking machine than the Famicom. Well, the Famicom has a lot of red. It's very toy, it has a toy quality to it. And the NES looks like something that you would have as part of your home entertainment center.

Now here's the thing I will say, functionally, the NES was a piece of shit. Because of its slot-mounting cartridge input, that thing would collect dust, it would malfunction. What people remember from having the NES is the NES didn't fucking work. The Famicom was top-loading, and so was the Super Nintendo and the Super Famicom that followed it, and they worked a lot better.

Here's the back and forth, the A and B of this. Famicom games, the physical games, look better than NES games. They are like little pieces of candy, and you wanna put them in the machine and play. I like that the Famicom has brackets to hold the controllers. and you want to put them in the machine and play. I like that the Famicom has brackets to hold the controllers. That's nice because if you were part of a family

in the 80s, I'm sure that the controllers were always flopping about. Huge problem, yeah. And this is a place. Mom's running her vacuum over those things. God damn it! I'm just hearing that a lot. A place where the games go, right?

When the Famicom Colorway is available, say for the Game Boy Micro, it is my preferred Colorway. Because the red and the gold is fucking sleek as shit. But the base unit of the Famicom doesn't, it doesn't invite me. It's a strange, like, I'm gonna call it, it's like evil NASA?

Sure, yeah. You know how R2-D2, blue and white? Yeah. Great, you love him, you have to see him in Our dr4 you kind of know what his fucking deal is right you kind of he's red You don't really know where he's coming from he's maybe bad. Yeah breaks down Yeah, I think I think that's what we're dealing with here was at the r5 unit. I think that was the r5 so so yeah It's it don't yell at me. I'm gonna go my droid right. I don't dislike red electronics I don't dislike red electronics.

I don't like the giant paddle in the middle of the machine. I don't like how many instructions are on the machine. Click on some of these, Matt, that have the side by side, because that's interesting. Not the two generations. Yeah, it is like noticeably slimmer. Yeah, it's tiny. It's little, because that's interesting. Not the two generations. It is like noticeably slimmer. Yeah, it's tiny.

It's little. And that is, I mentioned this before on the podcast. My brother, one of his closest friends, lived on our block. His parents were from Japan and he had a Famicom. And that was because some of my first exposure to home console games was playing a Japanese Famicom before I played an American NES. So I do like the system. I do have fondness for it and I do like the way the controllers look, although we're not

evaluating that. I like the presence of the red. I like that it's not as bulky as the NES. I kind of feel like though neither of these is like all that great to look at. You just have nostalgia for what they represented. And I think the most appealing thing of any of this is the actual NES controller, which we're not talking about.

I think I would put these, I feel like both of these are maybe just B tier, maybe C tier. I don't know. Are these exciting things to look at aesthetically? Yeah, I mean, we talked about evaluating them separately, but I do think that they might end up in the same one, kind of.

I really like, here's what I do like about the NES. I love the black accent stripe across the top of the machine. Yeah, yeah. So if you look at the machine and you imagine that stripe missing, right? And it's just a gray box on top of a smaller gray box. It's a less dynamic visual language

to look at that at the NES. That black accent stripe gives it personality. I don't know that it gives it enough for me to be excited about it, but I like that stripe. Well, it also has function because that is where you would plug in your controllers. So it's like, oh, that's, and in the back,

I believe that's where you would plug in the, you know, the power and the RCA, whatever your output was. So yeah, I mean, and then the way that it's interrupted with a little bit of gray riveting there, I don't know yet, but I still think these are, but what, maybe B tiers? Is that even too high? Uh, let me look at that. Let me look at that Odyssey one more time

It's an uglier machine than the Odyssey both of them. Yeah, I Think that when it's nicer than fucking but this thing the problem pong is fucking it up. The pong looks like shit Get rid of the pawn with a pong down Let's put the pong down a tear because it should not be sitting side by side with the NES and the Famicom. Agreed. Pong goes D. All right, put pong in D tier.

Pong goes D. We're gonna be, we're very anti-first gen here, but you know what? All those first gen consoles sucked. All right, now let's look at it. Is it better looking than the Odyssey? No. No. Is it better looking than the... Vect. No. Is it better looking than the?

Vectrex? Vectrex? I say no. Really don't like the Vectrex, but I'm glad you do. Well we can put it in the same tier. I do think it's better looking than the what those two? I agree. The fuck the Atari I think it looks better than the Atari and I think it looks better than that. What was the other one? I don't even know the name of that fucking system. The Intelliv in television the Intellivision. I think that's not an Intellivision Wait, no Intellivision is lower. Yeah, those are the phone. That's the Atari and that one Oh, yeah, that's the Fairchild We're gonna be writing down what our tears are this gonna be pretty useless exercise

I'm taking care of it. I got it, but for the exercise. I don't have that in front of me I think it's I here's what I think I really think that the Vectrex is not as beautiful a machine as the Odyssey I don't think it's a B tier thing I think that it is a C tier machine And I think the NES and the Famicom follow it into C tier and I think everything else moves down a tier Which you want me? What do you want me to do? I think we've done too much so far to modify all these tiers. Yeah, I think I'm just gonna put them in C

because I think there's just room for improvement and I even think the next generation. I think we could put them in, I think they are maybe B tier. I don't think they're the same one. They don't look as good as the Odyssey. Yeah, but it doesn't have to be at the same level to be you know within the same sort of this is a general designation All right, they're gonna put my fucking foot down. We could put it in C tier

But it's better for one do whatever you want in C tier put it in C tier put it in C tier Guys, stop reviewing. It's I put it in I put it in B. Okay great. It's in B for now We'll get on. It's a B. We have 30 more of these to get through. This is the- 30! We're at the 70 minute mark. I think there may be a part two coming, because I feel like we're not gonna get through every single generation.

Sega Master System. So this one is- Fucking awesome looking machine. It's a cool looking machine. This just looks better than these. So some of these, so that's the one I remember. The one we're looking at here. The power base master system.

The black and red one. I'm not sure if that was the same thing that was released worldwide. This looks like a revision of it. A hardware revision. Yeah, that's the mark three. Yeah. So, and the master system too was another hardware revision

which I don't feel like is nearly as appealing. Agreed. I think we're looking at the original Sega master system power base. I think it looks, yeah. I think we're looking at the original Sega Master System power base. I think it looks, yeah, I guess we should have established some ground rules of console revisions, because there's a lot of console revisions.

Yeah, and also additionally to that, the Master System was really, it's the Mega Drive in Japan. It's a different machine. Yeah, do we have images of the Mega Drive? Yeah, different machine. Yeah, do we have a do have images of the Mega Drive? The the Famicom it or not just the Famicom the the NES actually had a revision that was top loading That's a really curious piece of the Genesis. I'm I'm wrong. You skipped ahead of generation. I'm absolutely wrong Well, we'll look at that when we get to it. What was the master system called? Was it the mark 3? The master system world. Let's look at I'll look at that when we get to it. What was the Master System called? Was it the Mark III? The Master System. I feel like it was the Master System.

I'll look this up, Matt, while you tend to the tier list. It was called the Mark III. Yeah, Sega Mark III. Okay. I think it's cool looking. The original Master System is definitely. It's very, very cool. I'm not certain that I've seen one of these before,

if I'm being honest. This is another situation. I had a friend who had a Master System. This was my first console. Wow. I think based on what we have so far. It is better looking than the NES and the Famicom. I think it belongs in B. I could see this thing in B.

Okay. So are we going to talk, while we're talking about Sega, because it's generation, you know, the way it was, are we gonna talk about the SG-1000, which was their first home console? Because that's really cool looking. That is really cool looking. I think I had it on the original list with like 60 consoles on there.

But there's just too many things. There's just so many. There's too many consoles. Got it. And I do think as far as console revisions go, maybe we don't do it for this one But for some of the other ones that do have them we do do it like I'd like the Xbox 360s don't functionally look that different from each other, but the

Between it we're not gonna get to them in this episode So we're just gonna get to the fucking Xbox three like you know what I mean like the ps2 and the ps2 Slim are so different that I think you count those. I think it's fine Or the PlayStation and the ps1 master system is an a master system. I really like I also say the mark 3 so that this Is the though the way this was named the SG 1000 was Sega's home console They iterated on a couple times the mark 3 was the third version of it the master So that comes from the master system looks like the video game system of the Empire. Yes. It fucking looks evil. Yeah, the Mark III are we evaluating together? Cause I think the Mark III also looks cool.

It's kind of like a, you know, a color, a palette swapped version of it. It's a little bit blocky or a little bit boxier. Kind of looks like Marty McFly is a little hoverboard, doesn't it? It also looks like another thing, like bit of Emperor hardware, like Empire hardware. Yeah.

This is actually- It's like an Imperial console. This is this is r2d2 the mark 3 and then the master system is that fucking mean BB-8 oh you mean the evil droid from rogue one no there's a mean BB-8 that like fights with BB-8 in which one's that I think in rise of Rise of Skywalker. Ah. These look, you mean BBA? Exegol or whatever. That shit. Where did those, who built those fucking come on, we don't have time.

Star Destroyers. Come on. Where's the infrastructure? The existence of the Empire building a fucking fleet of Star Destroyers. This is a far-flung star system. This is where they come from. It's going in A.

This is how Palpatine is back and he has fucking a hundred Star Destroyers out of nowhere. What is this episode? Can we- do we have to do more Atari's? The 7800 is- Sucks, it sucks. I'm fucking tired of looking at these! It sucks. Let's just add this one.

I don't wanna say give it an F! We're putting it in F. Can I- can I play? Put it in F. Yeah, put it in F. We're putting it in F. Yeah, we suck. Put it in a fucking F.

Look at that thing, it looks like shit. I don't like the way that looks either. Straight to F. Can I play? It's another answering machine looking one. Okay, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down.

Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down.

Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. Yeah, put him down. I like that it used cards. I like that tiny little slot. I think that was kind of a proto of where, you know, like getting away from cartridges and getting towards smaller form factors of the software.

I like the way either of these systems look. I kinda like them, but I'm not gonna fight for them. I think to me, they're Ds. They don't do much for me. The thermographics is the shape of the top of a toilet. I mean, alright? The water tank look that's the lid For the water tank of a toilet. I think the turbo graphics logo is good I agree the PC engine one looks a little bit cheaper the logo itself does as well

But these look like and you know no disrespect yeah These look like complete shit. No, they- Jesus Christ. They- Put them in fucking D tier, I don't care. They look like you wanted something else for Christmas and you got this?

Well, I think that was the case. Because that was like, for a lot of time, that was like the budget friendly 16-bit console competing with the- These are Ds. But there were some good games with the TurboGrafx. Like, if you told me that the TurboGrafx was like, that Spain made a console, I'd be like, oh, really?

It feels like vaguely European. Yes. Like in a way that I can't identify. Maybe that's why I don't love it. Oh no. That's good. So now we're at the Genesis. Yeah, and then Mega Drive.

Bonk's Adventure, Legendary Axe, there were some cool games. Everybody's still talking about the long tail of Bunk. We can't stop talking about Bunk in 2024. We're going Bunk crazy. Look at this fucking system. That's a cool looking system. This is the Sega Mega Drive. Yeah, the Mega Drive looks very similar to the Genesis.

I think this can be evaluated together. I mean, these are S tier consoles. These are some of the best looking consoles. Well, that's the Genesis. I think this can be evaluated together. I mean, these are S tier consoles. These are some of the best looking consoles. Well, that's the revision. That's a revision, yeah. Okay. The Mega Drive clearly is, it comes from the same visual language

as the original Master System. It has that black and red colorway. The Mega Drive has a big 16-bit logo on the front of it to tell you that it is the most powerful machine on the market. I think the Mega Drive looks better than the Genesis, but the Genesis also looks fucking great. Can you pull up the Genesis?

Yeah, I agree, the Mega Drive looks better. Yeah, the first Genesis. It's like a little bit blockier. There it is. Yeah, look at that bad boy. But it's still very, very sleek. And the Genesis logo is really appealing. Yeah, that's a great, I mean, you see that

and you're like, especially if you've been an NES household, you see that and you're like, oh, video games are about to get serious. We were, so we were in an NES household. see that you're like, oh Video games are about to get serious. We were so we were in it. We weren't an NES household we were in Nintendo a household and of my Another friend from Boy Scouts had a Sega Genesis and that's where I played a lot of it And it was just I and Lord dumps over here this guy had a bunch of friends when he was you had a bunch of friends With different consoles. What do you want from me? Anyway, you're popular over here Well, what they were in Boy Scouts with me? They kind of had any of me anyway, so You're popular over here. Well, they were boy scouts with me. They kinda had an angle with me.

Anyway, so, you were right earlier. So anyway. So anyway. But it is, it like, yes, you're right. The fact that it's black and that it's like, it's so sleek, it's so, you know, it looks like, yeah, it looks like a grown up piece of hardware as opposed to, you know, a lot of the other stuff

looked very toy-like, or just kind of chintzy. I think there's an S tier. I love how the Genesis looks. An S? Where would you put it? Man, I only think there's one S tier console. I'll be curious to hear what it is. I'll tell you right now.

Yeah. PlayStation 2. I don't even right now. Yeah PlayStation 2 I Don't even the PlayStation 2 looks as good as this. I think the PlayStation 2 is the only s-tier console I think well, we're not gonna see eye to eye there I think so are we putting this in you're saying as I think s-tier if people want an a tier we could put an A tier this is not you know whose favorite console is the Sega Genesis is saying that it's an a Put it. I mean put it in that let's put it I mean put it in S. Let's put it in S. I think S tier is motherfucker Okay, so our first S the explanation is congratulations. The master system looks better than the Genesis. I disagree. Okay

Yeah, I like the round. I sort of like the big bubble All right, okay, so that's the Genesis and Mega Drive are coexisting there. Yeah, taking up both slots Yeah, just like the the master system exactly. Yes. Okay That's the Genesis and Mega Driver coexisting there. They're taking up both slots. Just like the messages in the book. Okay, so the lore apparently is when Darth Sidious was cloned- What? Nick, we don't have time. We're at 80 minutes.

When Sidious had his cloning experiments, he also proceeded, I'm reading this from the Wikipedia, proceeded to modernize the ancient shipyards making them highly automated so the construction of a fleet of Zeistan class starters, how do you say it, Zeistan, was underway by the time of the Galactic Civil War. So the idea is that these were an automated construction facility that somehow out of all the materials was able to function like I guess purely driven by AI in order to build a huge fleet of ships that's set idle for fucking six movies.

But now that I know that it's in a way anti-AI, it's actually kinda gay. And I just wanna circle back to this real quick, the evil BB-8 is BB-9E. Oh yeah, I remember this guy. And he has a nickname BB-8. He's quite rude, this guy. Anyway. He was in hate. Yeah, he's quite rude this guy Anyway, it was in last Jedi. Oh, he was in the last Jedi. Okay

Now I mean next one up. This is a big boy, too So I think the Famicom looks better than Super Nintendo But I think that and I also like that that that's got four colors instead of two colors But I do think the Super Nintendo the boxy boy that is is really cool looking. I think this is an a-tier I think this is an A tier. I think this is the one that's just like, this look really holds up for both of them. God, the Super Famicom is fucking gorgeous. Super Famicom looks so awesome.

It's gorgeous. I have a radical take. What? I think the Famicom is A, and then the Super Nintendo is B. I can live with that. I agree, I agree. Let's do that.

I agree, the Super Famicom is. Done. Like, it's stunning. Yeah, it's a great looking piece of hardware. And and I like that. It's the only other machine in eighth here With with the Sega Master yes Because I'm again retroactively retconning that the Vectrex is in that category oh It's a B. No the road back to this I agree with all all this. Yeah, this makes sense. Okay, this all fits in okay

So right now with the Genesis is the only s-tier the a-tier we have the super Famicom and the Sega Masters That's right feels right the Famicom is so good-looking You don't think that's an s-tier console if you're putting the Genesis up there We can ask here. I kind of like you're fucking Famicom So good throw it up there super Famicom is so good best here S tier. Put an S tier. Put an S tier. It's so good. Throw it up there. Super Famicom is so good. S tier to some bitch.

Wow, it's in the S. That's incredible, beautiful. I love that. It looks both like a toy and technology. It looks like maybe even an Apple device. Yeah. It's fucking stunning. It's very, very slick.

It looks very intuitive to use as well. Very, very good. Moving on to the 3DO. Oh no. It looks awful. I hate this thing. This looks like you would put it in front of a door to keep it open.

Yeah, it really does. It does have a doorstop quality to it. It looks like the base of a piece of architecture. Like that a column goes on top of it. Right. Just in the interest of moving on, I'm just gonna go ahead and Put that all the way down here and I think that absolutely belongs with those

Awful Atari's fucking sucks. Yeah, that's really honestly as mega nasty. That is done. I hope nobody who made it got rich It's a deed the Jaguars enough yeah, you're right this one sucks way more Sucks yeah, I don't I don't think we need to elevate the 3DO. No, but the 3DO looks a lot better than those other consoles. I guess the curvature is a little bit more appealing. We can't talk ourselves into thinking it's good. Put in the fucking D, it's fine.

It's D, it's a D, that doesn't make it good. I just wanna say too, I do think so far on the show, this is the most we've yelled. We're not mad, nobody's mad, nobody's mad at each other. This is the most we've yelled on the show. I was a little frustrated a couple times. I think, you know what, we all kinda got there. The Jaguar, for those of you who haven't seen it before,

is a baffling piece of technology. It looks like a toilet. Because it has the same horseshoe shape as a toilet. Like you could sit on it and poop onto the top. Yeah, sure. The controller, which we're not- You could have pooped on any of these. You get a fair point. What?

You could poop on any of these. It's true! We're not even talking about controllers in this. But it is, the controller has way too much going on. Everything about this. The numpad in addition to the three buttons, it's really clunky to hold. The font bums me out.

I don't have to go through the entire report. The font is fucking horrible. So ugly. Atari had made aggressively ugly hardware. They somehow topped themselves with this one, which was their big comeback. It was like, they'd sat out like two generations, like, we're back Jaguar, Atari Jaguar,

this fucking 64 bit system, here we go. We're gonna blow everyone away. And then it came back and there were like, maybe one or two decent games and it looked like complete shit. Fucking suck, that's awful. RIP. Put that in F. That's in the F.

How about the Sega Saturn? Oh my God. I love the Saturn. It's so pretty. Especially the original white Japanese Saturn. Yeah, this is one where they're just completely different color ways in different regions. So the Japanese one was, was that the original? Was that the, or was that a revision?

I think that's a revision, but I do believe that the original Saturn was white. Yeah, but the Mark I, the North American one, and that's the one that I knew, that's the one that I'd messed around with in person. Yeah, there's the Japanese, so the Japanese one is, yes, that's right, I remember this now. This one was more of a gray sort of treatment to it. This is also really cool looking. I like the shape of it a lot.

I like the disc slot. I love this. I think it's really really pretty. I think I think the Japanese Saturn looks better than the American Saturn. I think the Japanese Saturn is a tier. Yeah. And the American Saturn is B tier. I can absolutely live with that. All right. Built on Exegol in ancient times, the Sith Citadel was one of the earliest bastions of the Sith. Constructed on the I can absolutely live with that. All right, built on Exegol in ancient times, the Sith Citadel was one of the earliest bastions of the Sith. Constructed on the surface of the planet, the Citadel was both above ground and subterranean design

with the former section being a large upside down truncated pyramid-like structure built out of black stone. Below the surface, there was a large hall with massive ancient statues carved in the likenesses of the ancient Sith Lords. So the idea is this was effectively, what, like was this an inhabited world at a certain point? We're on PlayStation. Okay.

I know you said we're not going to get to all of these. Should we stop here? Is this a good break point? Should we stop at the... I think we go to N64 and call it that. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, so we'll go to the end of this generation. Yeah.

What generation are we on? Is this five? What is this, four? Fifth. This end of this generation. Yeah, what generation are you on? This five what are what is this for? Yeah, this is the fifth generation. Yeah. All right. We're on the fifth generation. We'll take it. We'll have it do a part two Where we will go through the modern time. I'm really sorry everyone. We had a lot of sorry. Yeah, we know this sucked No, it doesn't suck. It's good bad. They're gonna like they were mad So the PlayStation 1 if the PlayStation 2 is not the only S tier console, this is an S tier console. Wow. I love how the PlayStation 1 looks. I think it's really cool looking. I also like the PS1. I mean, it's like, you know, it's it's it's cool It's not on the same level. I also don't even know if we need to include it

We can just talk we don't have to talk about our version. I think we just talked PlayStation. Yeah, I think the Rachel PlayStation is great It's fucking gorgeous. It's it's I like that. It's got this boxiness, but with like that circle. That's so prominent in the center It's immediately identifiable. I think the PlayStation logo is great. I think the placement of the Sony logo is great The the buttons are I remember being very very functional yeah, I and I like the way that it's like the very, very functional. Yeah, and I like the way that it's like the, the memory cards are mounted above the controller slots, like the way all that sort of like fits together.

I think it's just like really an elegant piece of design. I think this is nasty. I like how the reset button is not centered over the power button. Yes. But instead is left justified. Yeah, it's left justified and it's smaller. Yeah, it's great. For how plain it is, it is iconic. You know what I miss?

A fucking open button. Give me a physical open button to open my disk slot. You mean not just like something that you have to like search on the PlayStation 5 to find? Where is this thing? How do I eject a fucking disk on this? I accidentally turn it off because it's almost the same fucking button.

I do wish, I wish consoles had actual, well I don't know what you call the tactility tactility actual like buttons that you press right the same problem with cars now I just got a fucking touchscreen. I was like this sucks. Give me some something physical I'm gonna be like the one day where I push I love that I love the place my key my push to start too far What are you supposed to how do you start your car if the button don't work? Oh, that sucks. What do you do? God, that sucks. What do you do?

Is that true? I mean, I think there's like a, there must be, there must be a hole somewhere that you could put a key in, but does the, and I know that like the key fobs have hidden keys within them or something, but like we did, it was a problem we didn't need to fix. Nobody needed that. Yes, I totally agree.

My truck doesn't even have a power button How do you turn that fucking thing on PlayStation is when I get into about that I hate that That's awful PlayStation is I mean Let's ask here. It's great One of the most important consoles ever made and it looks fucking great. It looks like a million bucks. And it looks like it's from the same design language as the Famicom. Very much so. Super Famicom.

Yeah, very much so. And that tracks because it was a partnership for a short amount of time. Okay, so apparently Exegol once had a fertile environment until the Sith established their presence there and laid waste to the planet just as they did all with other NX worlds. So it was kind of like a garden of Eden that the Sith established their presence there and laid waste to the planet just as they did all with other NX worlds. So it was kind of like a garden of Eden that the Sith went in and ruined.

Nick. Yeah. We're at the N64. Here's the thing. I don't like how it looks. I like the N64 as a console. I think it has some really cool games. Obviously this was like the last gasp for cartridge gaming.

I physically, it's that period where things just got like very curvy and bumpy. That Y2K aesthetic. Yeah, and I find it just kind of unpleasant. I don't love how it looks as a piece of hardware, purely from an aesthetic standpoint. I love my curvy console. I think the Nintendo 64 logo is awesome.

I think the logo itself is good. We're talking logos, that's a different thing. But that, the console. I also hate the controller, but we're not talking about it. I'm not talking about the guy I don't like that the foot pads in the front of the machine evoke the 3do Yeah, it's a good point. It's very serious. I do like I Like the ports for the controllers yeah, that's fair and also including for was a master's job I love that yeah, there's something about this really cute Yeah, you know the GameCube ones are pretty similar to it too, right? But like I like I like that

I like that. That's a that that's part of it. Um, I Can go ahead and see this in the C tier from being honest? Yeah Because like think about what's in B, right think about what's in B. I think I think that I think C tier is the right place For this. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. With no disrespect to Nintendo 64. God, the N64 is a C tier aesthetic. But we're not talking about the output, right?

Exactly. We're talking about just how it looks. It's probably an A tier console, but it's a C tier aesthetic. Yeah, I agree. I think that's fair. Wow. And I'm stunned that I agree. And we're not talking about like the modded ones that have the sort of like early 2000s, like Apple, you know, transparent look to them or whatever. No, we're talking the original system as it came out.

Yes. All right, well, I think that concludes part one. Yeah. Of the console aesthetic tier list. How about a segment? Yeah, let's do a segment. Okay. All right. It's time for a segment.

It's our would you rather segment, would you blathers? And I've prepared some would you rather scenarios and I'm going to ask them of all of all of you Sam feel free to chime in as well And we're just gonna see what we think about these here here. We go would you blathers have the ability to turn into a morph ball? Or the ability to double jump okay, so these are these are specific They're not necessarily Samus specifics, but the morph ball is very is very Yeah, I'm not familiar with this kind of ball. Okay, and I meant everybody kind of like part of the show I mean, I didn't mean I didn't well that in all fairness a resident evil merchant is part of the shit. I forgot point five

Yeah point five. Um we gave him point five. I would rather double jump Double jump is really cool the thing about what morph ball is I feel like I get you out of a pinch But I think just like the ability to double jump like that's the thing that just like it makes no sense Like that would just that's just a party trick. Yeah, people would be like why would you need to do it? I guess neither that make any physical sense. Yeah, but I Don't want to be a ball.. I don't wanna be a ball. I don't wanna be a ball either. I wanna double jump.

It feels like it would be very nauseating. Kinda feel like it would hurt. I mean, you're used to it, but I feel like it would hurt to be in that position. I'm gonna take double jump. Okay, double jump. I think double jump is good, cause like.

Could you jump up on the top of a building with a double jump? It depends on how low the building is, sure. You could hop over a fence probably pretty easily. Yeah, it's like, am I getting like a moon jump or am I getting just like two of my regular jumps which is like not that, two of my regular jumps is not that high at this age. It's like a video game double jump. It's a video game double jump.

It's like you get a little jump and then in the air you can jump. It's like torrent. Yeah, sure It's torrents. No, it's one of the dumbest things that exists in video games make zero sense But it's so awesome. Yeah, there's a double jump. What if you're let's say you don't look both ways before you cross the street You're about to get hit by a car. You can double jump out of the way Oh, you could double jump over a car. Yeah, also just if you're playing ball throw down a nasty dunk Oh, man, it'd be so good in basketball. Double jumps should be allowed.

Well, cause you'd be jumping and they'd be like, I'm gonna block this shot. And then you take a second jump, you fucking throw it down on their face. Actually, I'm not done jumping. Give them a poster. Sam, are you familiar with the morph ball from the Metroid games?

Well, it's the same thing that Samus would use in Smash Bros. Yes, okay, yeah, of course. I was gonna say Smash Bros without double jump would be a mess. That would be impossible, yeah. So I'm gonna go double jump for okay. Yeah, of course So I was gonna say smash bros without double jump would be a mess that would be impossible. Yeah, I'm gonna go double jump Yeah, it's a key mechanic. All right. This is this is this one's unanimous unanimous double jump Okay, would you blathers live in a world live in the world of Pokemon and not have any Pokemon yourself or? Live in the world of Baldur's Gate 3 but not as a main

adventurer To just be like a guy in Baldur's Gate 3? Just kind of like a guy. And not even a guy that you can talk to. No fucking way. Like an NPC without any dialogue. Yeah. Nope.

I'll take Pokemon World without my own Pokemon. I'll do the Pokemon, because I think I could have a nice life there, whereas in Baldur's Gate 3, I'm just gonna be like killed by a goblin. Like I'm just like, that's just fucking, that's a miserable existence for most people. Yeah, and I for most people. I'm cursed by a hag or something. There's infrastructure too within the world of Pokemon, like there's toilets.

It's a fairly modern society. I mean, you have to worry about sort of you two running around being bad. You don't get the sense that the people who work at a Pokemon have their own Pokemon. Yeah, they're just kind of working there. Yeah, you can just have a nice life there. You could just have a job.

And you'd see cool shit all the time. You'd see them. And you're like, oh wow, that's a Pidgey. Yeah. Versus like, I'm like shoveling shit out of a fucking hay bale, and then a mind flayer takes over my brain. You could hear about somebody fucking a bear or something.

Yeah, exactly, that's horrible. Sucks. Like, I don't even get to play. Oh, they're doing some cool shit. I hear about somebody fucking a bear horrible sucks No, they're doing some cool shit. I don't get to do that. Yeah, guys got like a big axe I don't get one of those What are you thinking over there Sam world of Pokemon where you don't get one or in the in like a mythical? Fantasy world like in Baldur's Gate 3, but you don't get to have any fun. I'll be a janitor and Pokemon Okay, would you blathers, have to play a crafting mini game every time you wanted to make food

or smash walls or items around your house to find food? Crafty mini game? That actually feels more efficient than actually cooking. Yeah. But it's long and kind of boring, kind of? Yeah, cooking is kind of fun is the thing. I do enjoy cooking. Yeah, but it's like long and like kind of kind of boring kind of yeah cooking is kind of fun Is the thing I do enjoy cooking I'd love to cook but I don't want to smash my own I know I don't want to smash my own house and I like this is the only way get food that sucks Move really like a balanced question. Yeah, I think I got to do the I guess I could just find it in the world

But I think I could do the minigame minigame What if you're hungry and you're out and you can smash something and then you can get like a plate of spaghetti or something? See, that's useful. If you generalize it to like anywhere, I can just kind of smash a wall open and yeah, there's just a floor chicken.

Well, could you then get say an Amazon package and you like get like a book delivered and then he closed the box, smash the box and it becomes food Yeah, something Something of equal or lesser value has to break. It can't just be a bar. What is equal or lesser value? It has to be substantial. It has to be had to like I don't know like what is the value of a plate of spaghetti? Also, like am I super strong or do I have to like get a sledgehammer to like bust open some dry wall?

You can just do it in the way that like so I can just punch it you can just punch it Okay, got it. So I'm also sort of sidekick. I think that one cuz then I'm super strong that feels like a nice side benefit there You're kind of just like regular So I'm regular except for this one use case where I can smash a wall to get food Yeah, okay, then I think the mini game. I'm taking a mini game. Mostly because I starve from not understanding my own rules. What about you, Sam? I'll take the smashing one, you know?

Why not try it out and know what I'm doing? Try it out. I think I'm gonna try to smash something too, because like the food's done. That's true. The food's done. You get to eat the food. Yeah, there's just a whole piece of it.

It's just whatever you want. Yeah. That back food. Yeah, there's just a whole piece of every one. Yeah, it heals you Okay, would you blathers? Take down alien hordes like in halo or zombie hordes like in resonant evil I'm more scared of Zombies than aliens even though aliens are probably more of a threat right yeah Yeah, they're certainly one of them is real and one's not. What? Are they Nazi zombies?

Yeah. Yeah, good question, are they Nazi zombies? They could, I mean, some of them very well might be. Okay. It depends on where you are. It's aliens or zombies? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

I think I'm gonna get killed by the aliens is the thing, whereas I feel like I might be able to outmaneuver the zombies. Might be able to befriend them. Well, I don't know if I'm gonna befriend the zombies. Why would I get along with the zombies? What does that mean? I'm gonna choose.

Like they'd like a guy like me? They'd love you? Is the whole world zombies and just me? Or is it like? It's like your job. Is what? It's your job? Cause like it's like, it's Master Chief's job.

That's his job. He's not doing that cause he has to. Right, but there are that, well, I guess, I guess if you are like Leon Kennedy, it kind of is your job. Yeah, it's his job. Okay, so that seems, that seems a little worse. I think I'd rather be Master Chief in that situation.

I guess I'll take the aliens. I guess they'd have cooler weapons if if it was and I feel like I'd probably have a better base that needle gun Yeah, versus versus like some sort of bombed out husk where I'm like trying to like, you know camp and forage for food. Yeah Huh? I think I'm thinking these scenarios are awful. Yeah, they're both bad. They are awful I'm much more scared of aliens Cuz they're real right, but I think that the moment I think if aliens invade The nuclear power plants don't necessarily go offline here, right? But if if a zombie apocalypse happens Then the nuclear power plants go offline and we're surrounded by Chernobles. So in the idea that human society would try to keep functioning, I'm gonna go with aliens

even though I'm more likely to personally die. That sucks. Fucking sucks. You have to pick one. I'll pick aliens. I did, I picked aliens. Sam, alien zombies zombies energy sword with aliens sword is good it is cool okay would you blathers be able to skip

dialogue in real life yes or get long unnecessary info dumps every time you were trying to wrap up a conversation like in Metal Gear. Ah, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. It's not balanced. Look, I came up with this today. I had a busy day. Way more annoying or like super efficient. But it's good information that you might like. Skip.

Who you talking to anyway? Just get the info. Yeah, that's true. I'll take the info, Dom. That's funny. Who you talking to? Who you talking to? I'm like talking to?

Like talking to my mom, wishing her a happy birthday. She's telling me about a secret Apollo project. What about this? Maybe this one is better. Yeah. Would you blathers be a silent protagonist? Or have to use a dialogue tree in real life I Could live as a silent protagonist. I have I like as even though I am someone who to you know talks for a living I am fine being silent for long stretches. Mm-hmm. I think I could I can make do with that

I'm also really happy when I'm silent for a long, long time. For sure. But my job and my livelihood are dependent on me being able to speak. So it's dialogue tree is the other option? Yeah, so you have like four options. I already feel like I have a dialogue tree happening in my head every time somebody talks. That's just how I converse, just navigating that.

So I'm gonna take dialogue tree. Okay. I'll take silent protagonist because I think the key element there is silent protagonist. So you're like the star of the show. So I am, I'm still like things are happening to me. Hey, that's pretty cool. Yeah.

Sam, what do you think? Silent antagonist. I think let's cut it there. That's this week's Get Played. Wow. Hey, thanks to Sam Rogich so much for our guest engineering. Sam, you got any plugs you want to direct people to? My band Guk has a new record coming out in a few months. Listen for that. That's about it.

Hey, look for Guk's new album. Hell yeah. Thank you for having me. Yeah, of course. Our producers are Charles Chen, Ranch, yard underscore underscore sardar. Our music is by Ben Prunty, benpruntymusic.com. Our art is by Duck Brigade Design, duckbrigade.com. And hey, check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash get played. We can find our entire pre-headgum back catalog plus ad free main feed episodes and our Patreon

exclusive show, Get Animated. Matt, what's up this week? We're starting our journey with Violet Evergarden. It's a hard one for me to say sometimes. I keep wanting to say violent, but that's not what it is. It's Violet Evergarden, and it's a different type of show than we're used to watching, and we're just starting it, so tune in and follow along with us.

Yeah, it's a show that's available on Netflix, so you can watch it while we talk about it, and then you can think about it while we talk about it. Patreon.com slash get played for all of that. There we go. I think the listeners got played this week because it's a two-parter and we didn't intend it. Yeah.

I think so. I feel terrible. The listeners for sure got played. What's good about it though is that it's reminiscent of an old episode that we did with the Mario power-up rankings that was three episodes. That's true. And people did like it.

We did stretch that into a three-parter. So they got played and because we're doing this again, we also got played.