Get Played - DLC Unlocked: How Did This Get Played?: Sonic Unleashed with Jordan Morris

Episode Date: September 7, 2026

We're off for Labor Day and are unlocking a Patreon episode! Originally released February 11, 2026. We return to our old format and bring along Jordan Morris to discuss the 2008 3D Sonic game Sonic Unleashed. Check out our merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Oh, have not been adhering to my routine. I'm a methodical type of person. I like going to bed at the exact same minute, waking up at the exact same minute. And let me tell you, do a little travel, throwing a couple of late night records. And all of a sudden, you aren't going to sleep at the same time. You aren't eating at the same time. You're losing your mind.

I need to get back to eating real food. And you know what might make that a little easier for me? Factor. Factor makes chef-crafted dietitian design ready to eat meals so you don't have to choose between real food and convenience. With over 175 banned ingredients, every Factor meal is designed around what supports a healthier lifestyle and nothing that doesn't. Factor meals are ready in two minutes and require no prep and no cleanup. So even on the days that your schedule is completely out of control, eating well is still achievable. Every week you'll find over 100 nutrient-dense menu items to choose from

and new options like salmon burgers, shredded pork, collard greens, and more. Plus, add-ons you'll crave like pumpkin-flavored cheesecakes and protein shakes. 97% of users agree that factor meals help them live a healthier life so you can feel confident that you're doing something good for yourself with every meal. They send them to us for free because we need to be able to talk with authority about these things, these ads. And let me tell you, Factor is pretty delicious. It's very simple and it takes care of my lazy ass in a way that I can't even do for myself. I've tried the Korean-style salmon, the Parmesian rice and pork tenderloin, and the harvest chicken

salad, and they are all spectacular. Let's eat real. Head to FactorMeals.com slash get played 50 off and use code get played 50 off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until 1031, 2026. That's code get played 50 off. That's 50 off at factor meals.com. Get played 50 off at factor meals.com. See website for more details. Hello everyone. Thanks for listening to the show. Hey, you're probably wondering, hey, what the heck's going on? Where's my new episode? Well, look at the calendar, okay? It's Labor Day. We took the week off. And I hope if you're working a job where you can take the day off, you had the day off. And if you're not, I say thank you for your service. We love you. And we're going to be back next week with an all new episode. But we

unlocked this episode for you guys this week. It's from our Patreon, patreon.com slash get played, where we sometimes do all sorts of crazy, crazy stuff. Really weird, random stuff, cool stuff, slick stuff, neat stuff. This is one where we brought back our old format, how did this get played, with our old pal Jordan Morris to cover a bad Sonic game, and the game we covered was called Sonic Unleashed, where Sonic turns into the Werehog.

And let me tell you something. This thing fucking sucks. Not to spoil, but maybe that'll peak your interest. You'll listen to the episode to hear our misery, and we'll see you next week. And hopefully, y'all have a happy Labor Day. I love you.

Welcome to Get Played DLC, the DLC show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get Play DLC. That's right. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, DLC along with my fellow host, Nick Weiger, DLC. That's me, Nick Tiger Weiger, DLC, along with Mr. Games. Matt Upadaka. Hello, everyone. D-D-D-C.

D-L-C. D-L-C. I did not have any sexual maybe bad time for this You're Bill Clinton impression I think it's a great time He's in the news again I did not have any DLC with that podcast It's the return of the return of how did this get played

We're once again discussing the worst and weirdest gaming has to offer. And this week, we are joined by the writer of Predator Bloodshed, Jordan Morris. Hi, Jordan. Hi, everybody. Does this D.L.C. make you horny, baby. Yeah.

I'm my DLC. As Borat. Doing like drops. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice. Jordan, the first guest on how did this get played? Wow, you're right.

Episode one. Yeah. And we covered Sonic. The Hedgehog. That's right. Sonic the Hedgehog, aka Sonic 06. The end is the beginning. This is not the end of your show's canceled. I'm here to tell you.

That's right. What the hell? So my knowledge, Jordan, we have only had you on how did this get played episodes exclusively to cover Sonic games. You know, I'll deviate from that slightly. I think I remember so a Sonic related game, I remember because I saw

I bought this game to talk about it on the show. Yes. Oh God, where you're the top hat guy. Balin Wonderworld. Ballin Wonderworld. The game that's like Yuji Naka to prison. Yes. Rightfully, I'll say.

And I think do we do a Battle Toads one? Did we talk about Battledoads? We definitely didn't have an exclusively done Sonic, but you have in our Sonic correspondent. I have played a lot of very, very bad Sonic. Yeah. Yeah. I remember distinctly your impression of you can't escape from the last fucking terrible

Sonic game, whatever one that was, Shadows. Shadow the Hedgehog? Yeah, Shadow the Hedgehog. Was it just straight Shadow. We did do Shadow the Hedgehog. That means sucked. Where he shoots cops with guns. In hindsight, great politics on Shadow the Hedgehog.

Here's what I'm saying. Shadow the Hedgehog, a very stupid character. Yeah. But he is a presence in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, the movie, voiced by Keanu Reeves. And they find a way. An incredible performance. A credible performance. They find a way to make him cool.

and then he still gets to use his gun, which is I'm so glad they honored the gun. How does that come into the movie? He picks up a gun. She's a cop. Also, this is in the preview or in the trailer for it. He does the Akira slide up a skyscraper. You have to watch it immediately.

It's so good. Wasn't you, Matt, who said it's the closest we'll get to a Dragon Ball movie? No, but I like this take. Maybe I did say it, but it sounds too good of a take for me to say. I mean, it is essentially, you know, two guys beating the shit out of each other while flying. Yeah. And it's very, and, you know, it has the sort of like, especially when Sonic gets to be supersonic,

the same kind of visual aesthetic as well. And also, like, visually more interesting than a few of the last few, like, MCU movies. Right. It was a more satisfying superhero movie than, like, yeah, like the last five Marvel movie. What was the post-credits tease for Sonic 3? Amy Rose. Metal Sonic. Oh, and it's Amy Rose and Metal Sonic.

Yeah, because remember, because they showed Amy Rose, and they showed Metal Sonic and Christian Fan Art Sonic, right? Christian Fan Art Sonic. And pregnant Sonic. Yeah, they're all there. That's actually the same Sonic. Very weirdly. I mentioned before, but the Sonic fan art I really like was one where it's

Sonic wearing short shorts and it's a horny tails and it says, tails found out there's something even hotter than chili dogs. Anyway Chili dogs is hot That's the whole That's the issue The premise does not track But whatever

I have to I admire the effort Recount this I've seen Oh I didn't see the first one in theaters But I've seen every single I've seen two and three In theaters alone opening day

I always have to chime in and say I did see Sonic 1 in theaters It was the final film I saw before lockdown Yeah Yeah The film that caused the pandemic Yes Oh that's right

Because I you know When you would go on your little walks. And not just here to remember fucking COVID to bump everybody out. But when you would go on your little walks, like I would walk by a movie theater and there were just like years after posters for Sonic and Bloodshot. The Vin Diesel movie

Bloodshot. That was like the movie that was in theaters that weekend. Insane. Like when you would like play the last of us or like watching I Am Legend and there's like movies from like before the collapse. Right. Yeah. It's insane. But I'm always there alone with dads and their children.

right? And I remember the end of the second one, they tease Shadow, and the kids in front of me all out loud go, oh no. I'm also saying, oh, no. The thing with Metal Sonic, when they tease that, what is going to say is one of the kids in the theater got so excited. He said,

Metal Sonic, and he got up and he started running with his arms outstretched. It was so great. Yeah, and you were escorted out of the theater. Which is also weird because It's like, where are kids being exposed to Sonic Canon? Because the game we played today is 20 years old, right? Or maybe just slightly under 20 years old. Yeah.

And it's like, so that's not a kid's game. Kids aren't looking up Sonic the Warhawk. What the fuck is this one called Sonic Unleash? I'd also argue that this game is not for anybody in particular. It should be called Sonic the Warhog, though, over Sonic Unleashed. 100%. I would argue, though, that where hog doesn't make a ton of sense

in that, like, like, a were wolf is a wolf man. Yes. Right. He's not a, it's not a wear man.

Sonic is a hedgehog. It should be, you know, you're right, it should be a hedge wolf. It should be hedge wolf. Where man is a good pitch, though.

Wayman is good. It's Sonic just turned into a normal guy. Oh, God. The body horror. I don't want to jump too far ahead. The human designs in this game are fucking horrific.

They all look like they were, they're just re-scanned versions of the general. Yes. Jack's friend of the general. The general or Jimmy Neutron assets. Yeah, sure. They look bad. But then it's like, it doesn't make sense really because Eggman looks that way. But you know, he's not normal either.

So they're kind of like they have to split the difference somehow. And it's just, it's all bad. We could just jump in. We don't have to bullshit. No. This is DLC. We can get right to topic. The DLC.

And. DL. And I want to say... Ask not what DLC will do for you. I looked up some of the history on the development of this game. Ask what you what do for your base game. It first gets... I'll let it go.

You can have your moment. He was cooking. Was he? Because the oven wasn't on. Guess what? I'm asking for another plate. Someone ordered a DLC? Yeah.

So this game is, the beginning of the development on this game is 2005 when they are considering this as Sonic Adventure 3. And the reason they are considering this as Sonic Adventure 3 or trying to position it as such is they want to strip down Sonic to his roots. They want to eliminate all of these extra characters. They want to get back to basics. They want of a story. They're Sonic trying to overcome something. and maybe a couple of guys show up. And in this case, it's Tails and Amy Rose.

Right. And when you look at this game, which I think of as, why the fuck is this added to Sonic? And you imagine the developers instead being like, how can we clean, how do we pair this down so we can create, from their interviews, somebody's first Sonic game. Right.

It's like, all you need to do is make Sonic go fast and have him be controllable. and that's anybody's entry point into a Sonic game. So the idea that they were like, why don't we make him into a werewolf and that can be people's first Sonic game? And he won't go that fast.

No, yes. And he will do a lot of combo. Yeah, he'll just behave like a totally different character. It's so strange. It is really weird. It's a baffling decision, especially because it's these, you've got the day levels where you're Sonic

and you've got the night levels where you're the werehog, basically. And the werehog has just this plotting sort of liked what you were saying, this brawler sort of gameplay, which is just fundamentally uninteresting. Yeah. It's like, and, and yeah, I didn't know that context either. I didn't know this was supposed to be like, like, you know, like, baby's first Sonic game. They were like, let's go back to the series. Because they were making, oh, they had been making 06, right? Like, and then they're like, this will be the follow up to 06. Yeah, it's, it's so,

so strange to me. I put this take in the group chat. Jordan hasn't heard yet. I feel like, I feel like I have to share it. I don't know if it's in San Diego. I feel like I should be in the group chat. I was in the first episode. Here's the thing. You're welcome in the group chat. It's called Varan.

It's called Varan. We've all lost our mind. The avatar is an avatar. The group chat picture is a picture of Varang now. Yeah. And my wife looked over my shoulder and thought I was texting some woman. He's Varan. Who is that your texting?

If anyone would be like, Uh, okay. I was like, so you know how we, I can't stop talking about this character? Look, if any of us were having a A.Sque relationship with an AI for wrong. Hang on, I think we'll say that out loud now. I think we might have to bleep it. No, we definitely have to bleep that, but I wanted to say it for the room.

Grant, you got to bleep the celebrity's name. Allegedly. Parity, fair use. Yeah, yeah. If any of us were having. A deltzie. Slalanderous statements. liable.

Doesn't matter how true it is. Yeah. I've had to confirm by several different people. Yeah, it is true. But anyway. It's too true to be. It's so funny. And I just feel so bad for the people listening.

We have to drop this. Yeah. Who are we talking about? Venmo me $100. Yeah. It's just so, it's just the perfect about of insane. It's great. That it's so, it's so funny.

It's great. but like I could see myself talking to a Varang AI and getting a little too sucked into it because I just like Varang so much right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then forget, like, like, I have to remind myself, I'm not talking to Varang, even though I'd like to be. My, like, algorithm has realized that I, I want to see Varang cosplay.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Verong cosplay, I get a lot of it on my feed too, because, you know, you Google Varang statues to share with the group chat. And by the way, there is one that is three feet tall. Can't wait. Have you pre-ordered? No, I haven't.

Because there's only 400 of them being made. Oh, I got to pre-order it. You got to pre-order it. How much is it? I think it's $1,200. One for the car. I can't wait to show this to my wife. Remember I bought that $70 NBA NFT?

This one costs even more. This is worse. But at least it won't go away. It's true. And it didn't drain a lake or something. That could be an investment that might appreciate in value. Yeah, that would be cool. It might, yeah.

When it gets in Nix's hands, it's depreciated away. Yeah, you can't get stuff all over it. I'll appreciate it all right. There's a Varang statue on eBay that's just got in the description greasy. Some no-boys fan will play more for asking. I didn't ask me, but. Sitely used, comma, pregnant? What is?

So I dropped this take in the group chat. Yeah. Tiled Varan. We were talking about Sonic. Who's also blue, to be fair. He's also blue. And pregnant? Ranch must think we're crazy.

And here's the thing. And here's the thing. I do think that the not. Navi might be fast also. Oh, they're definitely fast, right? They're long legs. They got long legs. There's no way you could outrun a Navi in a foot race.

No. I have been spending a little bit of time in the Predator subreddit, you know, in anticipation of the comic coming out. The Predator fans want the Predator to fight the Navi so bad. That would be awesome. Every other post is, who would win? Who would win? Anyway.

I mean, here's the thing. Lights out for the Predator. There's just no way. Yeah, I just think the Navi are so physically dominated. The thing is the Predator have all this technology, but the Navi consistently have a record of overcoming technological inferiority. I think they also, if they have a home court advantage, you also have AWA as like a factor in the fight. That's a great point. Are they fighting on Pandora? And look, Predator also Sky People.

It's true. They would be sky people, yeah. Yeah. Anyway. We also don't know if the Navi have give off heat signatures. That's true. They could, like, they're aliens. They might not have tea signatures. Oh, yeah, they can maybe be operating off the same wavelength as the forest.

Sure. Bill a little heat from wrong. Tell you that much. Yep. I said I basically, I pretty much. I've never seen a man so horny to die. I guess that is what it is, huh? I have one VPN installed on my phone, and that's NordVPN.

And I'm not saying that because this is an advertisement that we've been paid to do. I'm saying that because I, Heather, use NordVPN to shop for goods in Japan that I otherwise couldn't shop for. With NordVPN, if there are TV shows, film, anime that aren't available in your region, you can switch your virtual location to a country that's showing it. If you're traveling abroad, you can access all of your streaming services back home. Switching your virtual location with NordVPN can also allow you to save money by purchasing flights and hotels from other countries at a cheaper price. NordVPN also acts as an invisibility

cloak for your IP address, protecting your privacy online and leaving no digital footprint, especially while you're traveling and using public Wi-Fi. Public Wi-Fi, more like public toilet. NordVPN protects you wherever you are in the world. It's super fast. No buffering while streaming. It stops your ISP bandwidth throttling, and you can use one account on up to 10 devices, premium cyber security for the price of a cup of coffee per month. To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to HTTPS, colon, forward slash, forward slash NordVPN.com slash get played. Our link will also give you four extra months on the two-year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box.

Hey, buddy, you know when you think you've finally gotten back to inbox zero and then life catches up to you? Then, boom, you're back to 300 unread emails. We're already entering fall and it seems like the year is going way faster than anticipated. At the end of the day, a smoother way to come down matters. That's why a lot of people are looking for small ways to make life a little bit easier to move through. And that's where IndyCloud is making a difference. Indy Cloud is a fully legal online cannabis dispensary for gummies, exotic flour, premium pre-rolls, zero-sugar T-HC sodas, energy gummies, and extra strength sleep gummies.

Everything is federally legal hemp THC, lab tested and shipped directly and discreetly to your door. Because the start of the fall should feel like something you get to enjoy, even when the calendar starts filling back up. You know, here's the thing. We should be allowed to stop thinking about the million things we have to do tomorrow, but it's hard to do so. I got stuff on my mind.

I just want to enjoy my evening. Watch my stories. Hang out with the old ball and chain. Watch our stories. Got different ones. And then go to sleep like a little baby. But look, now you can with Indic Cloud. The Indicloud THC soda helps me draw a clean line between work mode and done for the day

and getting that rest and relaxation I need to face the day to tomorrow. tomorrow. And hey, I get to be present with my wife. I didn't say it like Borat. And I could have. Energy gummies for when the day needs momentum. THC sodas for when the evening needs less noise, extra strength sleep gummies for when your brain should clock out and a flower for remembering that not every open hour needs to become a productive one. If you're 21 or older, go to intocloud.co. That's dot co.com. Use code get played for 30% off your first subscription order. Again, that's indecloud.co code get played. Your subscription ships regularly and discreetly with free gifts and free shipping on qualifying orders.

Don't forget when you order, fill out the quick survey to support this show. Enjoy responsibly, and huge thanks to Indicloud for helping everybody enjoy the return of routine without giving every new responsibility a starring role. Hey, buddy, losing weight is one thing, but looking and feeling your best this summer, that's the real goal. That's why weight loss by Hymns now offers access to the FDA-approved Wagovi pill, and Wagovi Pen. Wagovi is designed to help you lose weight and keep it off, so you can show up this summer, feeling like yourself. With Wagovi at Hymns, lose up to 20% of your body weight when combined

with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep weight off, plus Wagovi is the first ever GLP 1 pill for weight loss, so there are no needles needed. Through Hymns, everything happens online. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. if prescribed your medication is delivered right to your door of your home or business, wherever you want it sent. But right to your door. If there's a door in front of a building that you are in, that's where it's coming. No insurance necessary.

And it doesn't stop there. Hems makes hitting your goals seamless by offering access to 24-7 messaging with your care team and in-app lifestyle and nutrition support like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content, and more. Wow. Even better, with a range of affordable GLP1 options, HIMS makes it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits into your world and your wallet, if eligible. You'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. And if your dosage changes, guess where that new dosage is headed. That's right. To your door. Ready to reach your goals, visit Hems.com slash get played to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you. That's H-I-M-S.com.

slash get played. Hymns.com slash get played. Weight loss by Hymns is not available in all 50 states. Wagovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wagovi clinical study information and restrictions, visit hymns.com. Oh, man, I have not been adhering to my routine. I'm a methodical type of person. I like going to bed at the exact same minute, waking up at the exact same minute. And let me tell you, a little travel, throwing a couple of late night records, and all of a sudden, you aren't going to sleep at the same time, you aren't eating at the same time. You're losing your mind. I need to get back to eating real food. And you know what might make that a little easier for me?

Factor. Factor makes chef-crafted dietitian design ready to eat meals so you don't have to choose between real food and convenience. With over 175 banned ingredients, every factor meal is designed around what supports a healthier lifestyle and nothing that doesn't. Factor meals are ready in two minutes and require no prep and no cleanup. So even on the days that your schedule is completely out of control, eating well is still achievable. Every week you'll find over 100 nutrient dense menu items to choose from and new options like salmon burgers, shredded pork, collard greens, and more. Plus, add-ons you'll crave like pumpkin flavored cheesecake and protein. shakes. Ninety-seven percent of users agree that Factor meals help them live a healthier life so you can

feel confident that you're doing something good for yourself with every meal. They send them to us for free because we need to be able to talk with authority about these things, these ads. And let me tell you, Factor is pretty delicious. It's very simple and it takes care of my lazy ass in a way that I can't even do for myself. I've tried the Korean-style salmon, the parmesian rice and pork tenderloin, and the harvest chicken salad, and they are all spectacular. Let's eat real. Head to factormeals.com slash get played 50 off and use code get played 50 off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until 10,31, 2026. That's code get played 50.5. 50 off, that's 50 off at factormeals.com.

Get played 50 off at factor meals.com. See website for more details. I think I like everything about Sonic. I like the way he looks. I like his characterization. I think he's cool. I like his friends. I like everything about Sonic except playing his games.

I don't think his games are for me. Most of his games are pretty bad. And it's a bummer because the games that are good that really capture what's awesome about Sonic. Sonic 2, of course. One of the all-time great games. Sonic 3 and Knuckles. Sonic Mania.

I would argue the first Sonic Adventure. I think does a pretty good job of honoring Sonic. And of course, Sonic Frontier's great game. But the games that really capture what's cool about Sonic are like, to your point earlier, Heather, when you're seeing how this game came to fruition, are games that distill some. Sonic to his essence, where we're not spending all this time with an SBO the Camillion level or, you know, like, we got this quest from Vector the Crocodile. We're fishing with big Vickick.

What are we doing here? We don't need Charmy B in here. Sonic alone and then a handful of his shitty friends is all you need. I think if they put Charmy B in the movie, she should be voiced by Cardi B. That's pretty good. It's a great pitch. It's pretty good. I'm just saying.

Oh, Kro. I want to say for Sonic Games, I think a cardinal rule of Sonic Games should be like a James Bond movie, you're dropped into an action sequence. Sonic games, the time from press start to running, should be only as long as it takes to load the level. And I think that one of the cardinal sins of this game in particular is the first thing you do is you sit through a movie that's so fucking long. where you're like watching Sonic battle Robotnik on some fucking story you're not a part of in space. Right. And then... I don't think you even do anything

like that in the game. Yeah, no, you don't. I mean, you battle Robotnik at the very end of the game, but like you're fighting fucking Robotnik, Dr. Eggman, and then he gets a weapon that blows up the earth while electrocuting Sonic and the effect of that electrocution. You expect the... You expect when you see Sonic Unleashed on the cover and he's half werewolf, you're like, oh, fuck, did he get bitten by something? Like, how is it going to explain how he became a werewolf? Like, is it going to be a horror story?

Instead, he's just electrocuted until he becomes a werewolf and then dropped off on the broken planet. And that, my friends, fucking sucks out. More of a, that's more of an origin. Like, if I want to say that that's a monster origin, maybe that could be a Frankenstein origin. Yeah, but electrocution does not lead to werewolf. No, but I will say that. opening cutscene, I thought it was fucking awesome. I was like, this rocks, this is everything I like about, son animated.

And you know, I think that is part of why kids like Sonic despite his bad games, just because they know how to make the stuff around Sonic so cool. Yeah, again, the designs of all the stuff looks so awesome. The fucking robots in this game look so great. Like all of these bosses, which I will say right here that I could not find a way to play the game, so just kind of watch the play through. That's fine. And I could tell by the playthrough, I'm like, this is impossible to control.

It does not feel good. I played it on my Xbox. It's still available to download on the Xbox store for some reason. I found a mod that would let you play the Xbox 360 version on the PC. And let me tell you, Jordan, not worth it. You got what you needed from the playthroughs. I tried doing it on the Steam deck. It was just a little bit too much tinkering for even the old tinkerer himself.

Yes. I watched a couple. And so I guess this is a recent development, right? this kind of old-ass game now being playable on the PC. And I learned that information because before I watched the playthrough, I watched a few like Sonic YouTubers review the game. And this one guy was just like, so, you know, Sonic Unleash is now playable on the PC, which you know, unless you've been living under a rock.

I'm like, this isn't the ex-Ebsteen files. This is a shady port of a bad game that you can now hack. Unless you've been living under a rock. Unless you're a fucking moron. I did see. I did see that SBO is in the Epstein files. Oh, man. Bad news.

I played this on my PS3. I bought a copy of Amazon at what. I forgot that you did that. God bless you were playing an original hardware. I think that's great. I think the thing is great. Always if I can, if I can, the best of my ability, I will always play a game on its original hardware.

And this game was released for the original hardware. the 360, the PS3 and the Wii. The 360 and PS3 dev team was separate from the Wii dev team. So they are separate sort of incarnations of the same game. A couple of things about the PS3. One, shocked, shocked the 20 years later, the PS3 storefront, the PlayStation Network PS3 storefront still works. Really?

You can still buy fucking games on a PS3. And until March 2nd next month, you can still watch Netflix on a PS3, which, again, shocking. I bet you there's more people who watch Netflix on a PS3 than you would realize. I bet so too. I bet so too. Especially worldwide. I was so stunned at how unplayable the game is on its original hardware that I dug out a second controller because I was like, it must be that my controller is broken.

That's why it's bad. Well, no, seriously. Seriously, because it hadn't been charged in probably five or six years. And I was like, there's something happening here with my controller because the delayed input on pressing jump and the physical pause in experienced time before Sonic would jump

was long enough that I could almost count to one. So I'd be like, whoop, whoop. Like, it would be like tap. Woo! Yeah. And you do that sound really good. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Something's wrong with my brain. But, like, playing it on the original hardware, it was so bad that it felt like I was emulating the game that I was playing. You know, it feels like, because I obviously was emulating a degree, but it feels like... if you're like on jeopardy and you just can't buzz in and then you're convinced your buzzer's broken, it's like that level of unresponsive.

It is also, I mean, it sucks to play. And then also everything about it is also kind of bad. Like I thought the new characters were not very interesting or good. You mean Chip? I hate Chip. Chip fucking sucks. So Chip. I want Chip.

I want Chip on like a slab in like my basement. Chip is a little fairy guy with a gem. in his chest. Yes. And he kind of talks like this. And he makes a wing flapping noise that sounds like jacking off. Whenever he flaps his wings,

it sounds like jacking off. And the thing about Chip that drove me fucking insane watching this play through is part of his story is that he has amnesia. Yes. And I think at the end you learn that he's a god or something.

Yeah, he is the, he is dark Gaia. Yes. And, oh no, he's like guy. He's like Gaia. I hate to correct you on this, Heather. He is light guy. He is like Guy. They're coming for you in the comments.

And Dark Gaia is the thing that destroys the planet. And they are locked in an internal battle, kind of like the kaiju and the Titans. Sure. Yes. So Chip has amnesia, but also he's the one who is like teaching you how to play the game. Yes. So in the cut scenes, Chip's like, who am I? What's my name?

And then when you're playing the game, he's like, collect crystals to build. your Gaia Gage. And then you'll have a rush power. I'm like, how do you not know your name, but you know about my Gaia gauge? Dick one. Fucking idiot, annoying, fucking jackoff monster. It's been great if you didn't know though. He was like, what is that?

What is I'm talking about? Why do I know what a rush boost is? Why are you so fucking fast? Chip has like... What's an X button? Chip, I wonder if anyone else will agree this characterization. Chip looks like this. the mascot you'd see on like a Brazilian

cookies brand. Right. Oh yeah, Chip the Bolinos guy. Oh yeah, that's the that's Oreos in Spain. Yeah, they love that guy. Also, like, I don't know what this is. He likes chocolate. He gets ice cream at one point. It goes crazy

for it, which like, yeah, no shit, right? Of course. And obviously, Sonic likes chili dogs. For some reason, Chip liking chocolate is annoying to me and I don't know why. It's just like so basic. Yeah. It's very first thought. Yeah, it's like, oh, you had ice cream and you like it.

Oh, yeah. That doesn't make you special. Oh, crazy, buddy. You also like getting your dicks up? What's happening? What's it? It's in your mouth. Keep sucking to produce gum.

Wait, no, what? Prasse the balls to increase hardness. What? Pick one. kind of like the same thing I've been thinking about this recently. There's like a type of person that's like my favorite music is the Beatles.

It's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, cool. You like the best one. Unless your oasis, shut up. You can be that guy if you're not, if you're like, yeah, I know, it's obvious. Like you're like, whatever.

The Beatles are great. Yeah, sure. I like, because I like heavy metal, my favorite metal band is Metallica. And I always feel like I have to apologize to like, I know, like, I should say like, iced earth or something. But I just like Metallica.

a lot. Anyway, this is a little about a context from the Sonic Wiki. Chip was originally named whip in reference to whipped cream. However, because the word has different connotations in English, including the act of punishment with a whip like whipping, Sega of America was not pleased with the name, so they had it changed

to Chip. They overthought it. Yeah, no kidding. I think whip is better. Whip is better than Chip. And I like that he would have like whipped cream. That to me, that is not as annoying to me as chocolate. He's also like, if you look at the design, he's kind of got a tuft of whipped cream on top of his head. It makes sense.

Whereas Chip is like, who is this guy? You can almost hear Sonic being like, you look like whipped cream. I'm going to call you whip. Sure. Yes, absolutely. Fuck you. It's fuck away from me. And in the final cut scene, Chip like, you know, fades away.

He dies. And dies, but says, I'm going, but I'll always be with you. Chip is a Christ figure. Yeah. He is a Christ analog in this world. The annoying jack-off elf. it's it's very unpleasant because we were talking about the locomotion I mean this is my main thing with Sonic

okay first of all obviously he's very fast Sonic got to go fast he's too fast for me and this is something that comes up a lot in the show when we play a Sonic game I think he's too fast and I don't really like that but also the camera doesn't move the way I want it to like the camera is also too fast so I think there needs to like something needs to change about that

Well, I think Frontiers got speed and camera correct. I will give it that. As a game that I did not like very much at all, I do think that the balance was better. Like when you're running on the open fields and frontiers, you're like, I have an enormous sense of speed. Yes. But I also know exactly how I'm going to navigate what's coming up. And that was great. Whereas in this, you're locked into these sort of like tunnels, these rails that are extremely narrow.

And it's so narrow that two of the buttons on the control. are dedicated to shift left and shift right so that you can like keep going super fast, but also change just the placement of the character on the screen. Which I like in theory. Like I see how that could work. Yeah. In practice, it is not enjoyable. And I think the only way to enjoy, say, like, you know, big quotes, enjoy a level of Sonic

Unleashed is to memorize it so that it becomes like a rock band. play through of a song where you're effectively pressing the buttons in a correct order so that you can get through it at top speed without pause. Yeah, I mean, like, if I was like 10 to 15 years younger than I am now and this game hits me when I'm a teenager, or honestly, I'd be younger than that. And it would have to be that, like, this is the kind of thing is like, if you get this game when it's your one game, because I certainly had games like that when I was a kid, where you're just going to play this endlessly, you could find a way to have fun with it.

Because I'm not even a sonic guy, like a purist, for example. But I just think the 2D efforts are just better. I don't think he works in 3D. He has more misses than hits in 3D. I agree with you. I do think he can work in 3D. I think there have been demos that are fan-made where he works in 3D. I think it's just for whatever reason Sega's execution of the character.

in 3D that keeps coming up short except in frontiers. Yeah. I also think I never want Sonic to fucking talk to anybody in a town ever again. No. Oh, the NPC shit is so unnecessary. It's so bad. Like, first off, I, you know, I always am like, I need to move faster in any space in a video game.

Sonic moves too fucking fast in the space of these hub, hub worlds where you have to like talk to people and also talk and jump are the same button. So the first thing that happens is you blow past somebody and you have to like awkwardly walk him back by barely touching the analog stick. Then you go to talk to them and he jumps once and you have to nudge him slightly closer and then press X again. Yeah. It is awful. And for the first town, there's no reason to talk to anybody. No. And they all get sad because of the world splitting in half or whatever the fuck. They get like

some darkness power from the, from dark guy that makes them sad. And I'm just like, get the fuck over that. The only time you have to talk to people is when it's like, hey, I don't know where to go.

Why don't you ask people in town? And then you have to fucking find the person who's like, they just say, keep sucking to make come. The last guy said this. Non-sequitur. So, you know, daytime you're running around a city.

Yes. Then you do these like sonic levels. And the nighttime it turns into like a god of war game where you're the, how do those feel? Do those even play fun? They suck. They're really bad. It's like I think the sonic gameplay itself is better because at least that's like, whatever. Yeah, unresponsive, clunky, not the best execution of Sonic in 3D, but not the worst either.

And at least they have like an existing template for that design, whereas this is just like feels like they're just trying. Yeah, like they're trying to recreate like a god of war or whatever, but it's like, I don't know, it feels like a prototype. And he's too slow. Like he's like, Kratos is so frustrating. Kratos is Sonic fast basically in comparison to how. slow where Sonic is. Shouldn't the wearhog be like even like isn't there a world where he could be

like even faster where he's like kind of or he's like bruise, he's like wario when he's charging he's like a, you know, like a freight train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He should be like a wolf. He can run on all fours if he goes unleashed. Yeah, when he goes unleashed. Yeah. Because like in in what world would you design a Sonic game

where to go fast you have to hold down a fucking shoulder button in order to make him run at a plotting pace. Yes. But most of the time he's effectively walking. Yeah, because even that speed is slower than Sonic's base speed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It sucks.

Yeah. Like, you walk in the town faster than a werehog can run at top speed. Yeah. That's crazy. Also, why the fuck are there so many balancing moments in the werehog levels? I hated that. And I hated to get up on things. He has long arms.

And so his long arms sort of like reach up to grab onto the platform. Right, your arms can stretch like a wolf. You're right. I shouldn't be criticizing this part. Yeah. But then it just sort of like pulls him up like in like like, yeah, that stuff's so weird. But also in order like if you if you climb up a pole and then like shimmy around the

pole Mario style to like set up your next jump. Yeah. You have to release all direction buttons on the controller and just press jump. and then immediately use the direction buttons once you're in the air in order to control the fall. And I would fall to my death so many fucking times just doing the basic platforming elements. Awful. Awful. I was dying in combat.

And I was like, this isn't even hard. It's just bad. Like, I can't do it. No, it's that kind of a, you know, NES level of difficulty for me, which is just like, as a kid, I'm playing these games. and playing back to the future on NES and being like, this game's really hard. And then later on I returned to it and played on an emulator's doll. It's like, oh, this is just a bad design.

This is just clumsy. This is just hard to control. And the visual information doesn't match the interactivity. It's, it's, yeah, a frustrating experience. I mean, like, the balancing thing is interesting because this definitely was, there definitely was an era of 3D platformers where for whatever reason they were like, oh, this should be a, this should be an element. This should be a challenge.

I mean, like even Super Mario 64 has that. God of Ward, the original action I'm realizing, has like balancing sections. And I think over time people kind of realized, or design is just kind of realize, like, that's kind of annoying. But also, this game comes out in what, 2008? Like, I feel like it's like late enough where they should have already been like, yeah, this is kind of a. Yeah, God of War III is almost out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like actually games have explored this and it's never actually all that fun. It's kind of tedious. It seems like that's kind of the element with a lot of these recent Sonic games. And I'd say recent, this is, you know, whatever, 20-year-old game, but this is, but this is,

era of Sonic is that like, you can see them trying to steal from other things. Like, Frontiers is Breath of the Wild, right? And like, yeah, I don't know, of them just kind of clumsy, like, finding a gaming trend and going like, okay, we'll put it in the Sonic game and it doesn't, it's not always thought out. The Sonic Cross Shadows game is good. I do like that. And it's like a 3D, 2D Sonic where it's the 3D models, but like they're, you know, sort of more linear.

Is that the one that came out the same day as Wonder? No, that one is... You always bring this one up, but I always remember... That one's called, like, Sonic... That one is pretty good, too. I can't remember what it's called. I can't remember what it's called. It's called...

I got that far so far. Sonic the Super Mario Wonderhawk. Again, there it is. Again, goes back to the title of this, which, you know, like, maybe it shouldn't be Sonic the Werehog, fine, but then at least be more memorable than Sonic Unleashed, which just feels like just another in a line

of very generic Sonic titles that are just indistinguishable for each other. And when is Sonic ever leashed? Like that's a great point He just does whatever he wants He runs around He's a bit of a scamp He's a scamp

You can't leash this guy You don't have to unleash him Because he wasn't leased in the first place I played as much of it as I could stomach Until I was like I just have to watch The hour of cutscenes That are available for this

And I will say Watching it while A better experience than playing it But ultimately Not fun still Yeah Because at a certain point you're just kind of like, well, this is all nonsense.

The opening, the opening sequence, I thought, was, like I said, really cool, actually. Right. And the well-animated, I liked it. But then a lot of it is kind of just, like, not very good or interesting. Like, collecting the gems to restore the cracked Earth and things like that. And then at some point, Sonic has to, like, traverse the entire planet. It's also kind of crazy, go with me on this for a second. Kind of crazy that Sonic is on Earth.

Right. And I know that he's like on earth in the movie. I guess that's true. It could be a different earth. Yeah, the levels, I guess, are all supposed to be inspired by, you know, countries. Like in the first level, it's supposed to be a kind of a grease, right? Yeah. And, you know, to kind of give the idea of like, oh, Sonic's going around the world.

Some of the human characters are a little caricatury of their lands. They get a little dicey. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, there was definitely a part where, uh, It goes to an area and I said, oh no. Yeah. They went the mad TV route on some of these.

Sure. Was this drawn by a newspaper cartoonist in 1890? Hey, buddy. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing on repeat? The sweater that goes with everything. The perfect pair of pants or the tea you somehow always reach for first. Those are the pieces that make getting. dressed easy, and that's what Quince does best.

Quince focuses on high-quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and merino wool. The styles are timeless, versatile, and designed to become the bendable pieces you reach for day after day. There are 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters start at just $60, giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted teas, and polos, and breathable, active wear. Quality basics designed to work across your wardrobe and hold up to air.

everyday wear. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. You know, here's the thing about Quince. I sometimes, this is true, find myself dressed practically head to toe in Quince. I like the pants. I like the shirts. And you know what I really like? My cashmere beanie. A yellow cashmere beanie that's become my number one headpiece, more than that thing all the time. It's stylish. It's warm yet breathable. And it's got this great top coloring. It feels like it should cost 10 times more than it did. And it's not just clothing. Quince brings that same approach to everything they make from a hotel quality bedding and bath, the kitchen essentials and

thoughtfully designed furniture. They make well-designed pieces for everyday living. Upgrade your every day. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash get played. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in the Canada and UK 2. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash get played. When we were kids, summer meant freedom. No homework, no teachers, no school, just you in a gas mask, and a vampire cape running around the woods of Wisconsin. Okay, so maybe your childhood wasn't like mine, but it still meant freedom.

And as adults, summer still means freedom, thanks to MintMobil's summer sale. Right now, all of Mint's plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. So free yourself from big wireless and their gimmicks and gotchas and switch to Mint for high speed data and coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. I mean, what is a phone? It's a thing that does the thing, and that's all it does. You're either using the phone or it's not working at all. So why are we paying so much money to just make the phone work? It's not like these other companies are making your phone work.

work more. It's, it's either working. The calls are either happening and the SMSes are either happening. The data's either coming through or it's not. Why are we paying a premium for what is effectively a light switch? Mint Mobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with premium wireless for 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even bring your current phone and your number. choose from three, six, or 12-month plans and say goodbye to a monthly bill. Ditch overpriced wireless with MintMobile. It's so easy.

Sign up online and get three months a premium wireless service for $15 a month. To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash get played. That's mintmobile.com slash get played. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash get played. That's it. There's no catch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 per month equivalent.

Taxes and fees extra initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot. Capable device required. Availability speed and coverage varies. CementMobile.com. Folks, I'm not a well-traveled man, but I've been thinking a lot of about exploring this great big blue marble that we call Earth, our home, unless you're listening

off planet. I don't know where you are. Maybe you're in space. Maybe the signal is all the way out there. And maybe you speak some language that is being translated through some piece of technology. So you're able to hear this. And to those of you doing that, I salute you. But I'm thinking back on Earth. I've got to get back to my roots. I'm half Mexican and half Puerto Rican. I've never really stepped foot in either place, but if I did, I'd be ill-prepared because no ablo Espaniel. But with Babel, I could change that. If you're traveling this summer, here's a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Instead, try Babel. Even just 10 minutes a day with Babel can help you start having real conversations in as little as three weeks. Instead

Instead of memorizing random vocab, you're learning phrases you use ordering dinner, which you're basically going to do every single day, asking for directions, and talking with locals. What I like about Babel is it's built for real life, not vocab lists, not verb charts, but real conversation practice. Lessons are quick, practical, and built by more than 200 language experts. They have interactive dialogue, personalized reviews, even podcasts, kind of like this. Except on these ones, you learn something. And they're all designed to get you speaking quickly and confidently. And unlike cramming before a trip, Babel fits into your actual schedule.

A coffee break, commute, hopefully if you're on a train or in the passenger seat. Or a few minutes before bed. Babel's award-winning app has sold over 25 million subscriptions and is backed by a 14-day money-back guarantee. If you've got summer travel coming up, now is the time to start so you can actually use what you learn. on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babble.com slash played. That's Babel, B-A-B-B-B-B-B-E-L-com slash played for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show

What's our podcast here on HeadGum. This podcast is brought to you by Square Spang. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I know, I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just all in my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like a, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or to like another type of.

website to upload the like, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or like, no, I want, it makes it easy, make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. You know what I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are, and they're custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now. Let's see.

I wonder for it exists. www. Friends meeting. Friends. Friends meeting friends.com. That's an original thing that we came up with, friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out Squarespace.com slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use off for code headgum, save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. One of the levels early on is all of these have these, what do you call them, active time battle, active touch button. What do you the fuck do you call? Quick time events. Quick time event. There you go. Quick time events. There are quick time events sort of sprinkled through the boss battles. And then Tails shows up and he's like, let's get on my plane and we'll fly somewhere. And the entire, the entirety of that level is a quick time event. Yeah. The entire level. Yeah. And it is, you, you don't have the, you don't have the ability to do anything except press, the buttons as they appear to you as if you are playing rock band

which all I want is to fly the plane and shoot these fucking things. Yes, I have to say, I have to make a correction. I didn't think the gameplay was cool. I do think it's cool that Tails has a plane. I love the tails has a plane. That's like cool. It's awesome. Always. Always great. It rocks. If you can fly,

build a plane. Yeah. It's well it's like Sonic in these racing games too. He doesn't need a car actually. He's actually he could outrun the car. But You play this level and if you fail while fighting Robotnik in the final fight, which I did once, because you only can get hit a certain number of times and the delay. Did you beat this game?

What? Did you beat this game? No, I did not beat it. I got close and then I was like, this is not important to me. What am I fucking doing with my life? if you if you get to um robotnik's ship on the plane level with tails uh you get to i think you get to hit get hit four times

and if you make an error in the sequence of buttons traveling towards you x circle square etc it's not just that you miss that shot there's also a delay on the following shot so you'll technically probably get hit twice yeah if you lose two robotnik's fucking robot ship at the end of that level it does not start you from the boss again. It starts you all the way back at the beginning of the fucking flight.

Sucks. No. And it sucked. No, no, no, no, no. It sucked. That's, to me, against the law. It sucked. I was, like, I pressed pause and I was like,

no, man, I don't want to feel like this. Yoshihisa Hashimoto, who was the director of Sonic Unleashed. I looked up his credits. He was the, he was a program. on the Sonic series, starting with Sonic Adventure. So he's there on the technical side and the programming side, starts directing with Sonic Adventure DX, Sega Superstars, and Sonic Unleashed.

Those are the three games he directs. And then he leaves Sonic team and goes to Square NX, where he becomes the technical director of Final Fantasy 14 online, a Realm Reborn. Wow. The man behind the Reconception, the reimagination, of that, at least from a technical standpoint. Wow.

Pretty cool. That is pretty cool. Do you think that speaks to him being like, I can't fucking do this anymore? I mean, this feels like the kind of game that would break somebody, you know what I mean? Yeah. Even if you believe in what you're doing,

I can't imagine he was satisfied with the end product. And even if he was satisfied with the end product, he cannot have been satisfied with the reception. So I don't know if he got pushed out of the company. I don't know if he left of his own accord. He certainly landed on his feet and ended up in a really cool role

with a really cool company on an amazing game. But like, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's kind of sometimes when you like, like a director, like the guy who directed the love guru, he was just like, I'm done making movies. He just never made a movie again, you know what I mean? It's like sometimes, like there's a project that just breaks somebody. Yeah. Because it's such a debacle, whether it's their fault or not. It's just the main problem with these games.

It's just that they are on a schedule and they just need to come out and you can't, you don't have the time to make them. good is it's like we need one every two years when there's a movie it's got to come out when the movie's that you know is it is it that i think particularly in this era that could be the case because now games not out till it's out like it's just like you're the games are just delayed sure out of existence sometimes even this game probably just looks like well here here we go this is different this is the take on sonic we have it's just it just is what it is people are gonna buy it because it's sonic yeah i don't know anything about the sky schedule this game. I will say that the

person who wasn't pushed down into the mud by this project has to be the musician and composer because the fucking title screen song rips. The end credit song is good to Oh, I was, I almost text. I'm like, we have to play the end credit song. Yeah, I mean, Sonico's 6, I remember the music being great. Yeah, the music and the title screen

feels like somebody heard Super Mario Galaxy and was like, we got to do a Sonic version of that. And it fucking rules. And when the title screen comes up and that song starts playing, I felt, oh, it's Saturday morning. I'm about to have the time of my life. I'm about to play some fucking Sonic. Let's go.

I'm in good hands. I felt so safe. So the delay between that and like the 25 minutes it takes to actually move Sonic around bummed me out so much. Like, yeah, I agree. the music's eye point, which is not to damn with praise. It's cool.

Yeah, I don't know. I like what you're saying, Heather, of just like the nature of Sonic games, because when you think about Sonic the Hedgehog, the introduction of Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, you start Green Hill Zone and you're just Sonic running. Like that's like the first thing you can do. There's no delay at all.

Yeah, that's what, I mean, the promise is go, go, go, go, go. Like, you shouldn't have to wait. And even if you want to have some sort of cinematic or whatever, there's no reason you can't start it with a cold open where you're just sprinting for a while. Or just have that shit, like, have him running and have the story being like effectively an FMV behind the level. Like have this like big battle happening sort of Final Fantasy 8 style where like there's all this crazy shit happening in the background that's telling you the story and Sonic's trying to get there in time. And like maybe you're basically running around the story so that you get some sense of personal control and speed.

immediately. It's just, it's a real bummer. I also want to say, before I forget, the sound effect that happens when you press the quick time event

button at the right time, sounds like the price is right. And it's so weird. To press a button, achieve a goal of like punching a boss in the face. Yeah. But the sound you hear is,

like it's very, it's very distracting. And if you fail, it's, bap, and at the end, tail says, to spay and neuter your animal.

And points to himself? Starting with me. He's like being my gigantic balls. He's like, what? I also, I don't like, I don't like where Sonic's tone. He's got a little bit of an attitude. He's a little, I don't like it.

Well, he's unleashed. You don't like his attitude? No. Sonic? Wear Sonic. When he's the where. That's too much too for you. He's just a little grumpier.

Yeah, he is. You know, I get it. He's changed. It's like the dark prince of Persia and warrior within. It's just like they made him edge lord for some reason. He likes new metal. That's good. I'm not condemning that game, but I'm saying that there was that they did sort of shift the tone of that one.

Oh, it's two storybooky. Maybe I'm thinking of Dark Jack. Do we all remember a dark jack? I wonder if this is a reaction to that in some way. That makes a lot of sense, actually, because. Because even Chip is Daxter-like in Subway. He's a little, tiny little companion. He's extremely, he's so Daxter.

But Daxter rocks, and I would like to curb stop Chip. Red Chipper mess with a Jack and Daxter back in the day? No. What mascot platformers are you familiar with? Obviously, you've absorbed some Sonic and some Mario. by virtue of producing this podcast. An Astrobot. Astrobot.

Yeah. Probably Crash. Crash. Right, right, of course. An icon. And Marikita and Ashley. Of course, right. Yeah.

Cuis 16 license drive. Do we have a, like, how come Crash has, obviously, crash has not been like a great franchise start to finish, but how come Crash has never had, like, the lows of, like, Sonic? You know what I mean? Like, I understand why Mario hasn't had the lows, because they've been so protective of it

and because they treat each game like an event and a down entry is something like Super Mario Sunshine that's still a pretty good game. But like, why is the Crash Bandicoot franchise not like prone to the same sort of miscues that seem to befall Sonic team? I will say there's like there's sort of like murky crash years. There's game, no, there's crash games that aren't great,

but there's no crash game where like, that's a piece of shit. There's a Sonic 06 of crash. There is a like, Konami had crash for a minute and churned out a bunch of kind of weird games, one where he could like jump into bodies. And they tried to do some shit

like this. It's like, let's change up the gameplay. I don't know that I played too many of, but I think Crash, you know, we'll just go back to the basics every couple of years. And the thing about him that it's easy enough to sort of just get behind whatever he's up to is because he's not talking.

He's not saying it. He's not yakking. He's just doing his little dance. He's spanking his little butt at year or so wearing his little jeans. He wears jeans. He wears jeans. Him just not talking is so huge. That's a great point. Yeah.

And but like also he's, he's also fast. He's not as fast as Sonic. He's not as fast enough for Heather. So slow. He's not as fast as Sonic. Well, look, I said that. I didn't say he's as fast as Sonic. He runs at Sora in Kingdom Hearts One speed.

And that's perfect. With the same sort of gait also with the feet being too big. Yeah. Boulder is going after him and he's jogging. Because he doesn't got to care in the world. He's also going to just like, look, I think Crash might be cooler than Sonic. Is Crash cooler than Sonic? I think he probably is because Sonic can be able to try hard.

No, he's zanier than Sonic. He's not cooler than Sonic. I think Crash fucks actually. What? Because there's like the girl one too. The one thing we know. Yeah, Coco's in there too. The one thing we know from the internet is that Sonic is constantly fucking. Nah.

Sonic does fuck. Not like Crash though. Okay, fine. Sonic fucks. Crash makes love. There it is. Is ratchet. That's true.

That's true. That's it. Is Ratchet cooler than Sonic? Oh, absolutely. Without a question. You'd say absolutely. I mean, the games are better. Which Ratchets the PlayStation one?

Yeah, Ratchet and Clank. Well, yeah, a lot of them are the PlayStation ones, unfortunately. No, but, like, is it the one that looked like a Pixar movie that came out with the top? Was that the beginning of PS4 or PS5? Yeah, PS5. PS5 Rifted Apart. Ratchet and Clank Rift Apart is just a great game. Yeah, it really is.

And I was like, which one was that? But yeah, he's beautiful in that game. Good looking guy. Yeah. And clank's not so bad either. Yeah. Commander Quark, if you like a bigger boy. Some people do.

There's a Ratchet and Clank movie that is just lost to time. It's crazy that that came out with no fanfare. Around that time, it seems like they tried to make a couple PlayStation movies. There's a crap. There's a, sorry, a Ratchet and Clank movie, and there's a heavenly sword. movie. Oh, yes. I remember the

supposed to be big PS3 killer app Heavenly Sword. I think there was a concept or like a teaser for a

Sly Cooper one also. And I do think Sly Cooper would have worked better as a movie. Sly Cooper's cool. Sly Cooper's really cool. Yeah.

Cool than Sonic. Sly Cooper, yeah. Boy, that's a dormant franchise that could come back. I guess Sucker Punch is busy with the

Ghost of World. Yeah, no, yeah. I'll never get back to it. But those games are great. Yeah, really, really, really fun.

Where does Sonic, like ultimately, if we think about the Sonic franchise holistically? And Jordan, I went through and like looked at all the past games that we've covered with you. Yes. And it's fewer Sonic games than I thought. Uh-huh. It's Sonic 06, it's Shadow the Hedgehog, and it is Sonic Frontiers. I believe it's those three. And then we also, of course, cover Baylon Wonderworld.

But it felt like we covered like 10 bad Sonic games. but we only covered a few. Is this like, I guess just as mascot platformers go, it's not kind of got some of the highest highs, but also some of the lowest lows. And it's kind of almost hard to figure out where your ranks of the hierarchy. Obviously, he's one of the most iconic video game characters.

But as a franchise, it's so uneven and such a frustrating piece of IP because it feels like they should know what to do. It's relatively simple. You know what it is? You know what reminds me of? It's like what illumination is. doing the Despicable Me franchise.

Okay. Let him cook. Where it's like, it's just the minions. You're all overthinking it. It's just the minions. We don't care about Agnes going to summer camp. We don't care about Gru's fucking daughters. Like, I get that it's that the heart of the story is that Gru has this found family.

But ultimately, this is about minions doing pratfalls. So like, have that stuff in there, sure. But what, like, keep the eye of sore onto the minions and jam pack it with minion stuff. And it's the same thing with Sonic. It's like every time they try to do a little. little English on it. Every time they try to lose some variations on the theme, it's just like, you've lost what's fun about this

which is the sense of speed. I don't think we've talked about this. You know what I think is really funny about the minions? Not just that they're always doing silly things or saying funny things. They have butt cheeks. The butt cheeks are very funny. That's a great choice.

They have a little round of butt. Yeah, it's really funny. I do think the thing that Sonic has to his benefit that some of these other mascot video game mascots don't have is like solid media outside of the video games

like the cartoons are all like for the most part pretty funny good that's true the movies are great people like the comics Sonic exists beyond just the video games and he works well there so I like because like

you know I think the Mario games are better to me I'm not saying that they are better I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings like how Mario games are better than the Sonic games Overall they're better of course That's an arguable

That is inarguable But I would say His leaps outside of the video games Are hit and miss The Mario's yeah Like whereas like the even like the movie The you know The illumination movie

Is fine It's not like as it's not anywhere near as good As Sonic 3 Which is an incredible movie to me This goes back to something that Jordan brought up on the main feed regarding Nintendo, but is part of the passion of the Sonic fandom that there's just so much to complain about. You can complain about Sonic endlessly. You can talk about how he does either doing everything wrong,

but that's part of what makes it compelling, and that's part of what keeps you coming back to each entry. And when there is something that's like even as flawed as Sonic Frontiers is, but like captures the essence of Sonic, you're like, you're like, yes, give me more of this. I don't know. And to evidence this, I have pulled up the user reviews on Metacritic of this game. And the overall consensus on Sonic Unleashed is about 60%, 55 to 60%. This is the critics.

Yeah, I know to the same thing. But the user reviews is 8.6 out of 10. Right. So it's holding it 81%. Even these YouTube videos that I watched of like the Sonic reviewers talking about this game and, you know, it being playable on PC now. I mean, the tone of it was all like this underappreciated classic. There's a lot of reclamation of it. Yeah.

And I think, I don't know. I think people, you know, especially, you know, today and if you have to do like online content, there is a little push toward like have the hot take. And I think people like the narrative of like people forgot about this game, but I'm the one who knows it's good. I did see this Polygon article I was telling you before we started that the headline of it was basically the internet's decided that this sonic, this bad Sonic game is good now. Well, like here, this is in recent review, November 28th, 2025. Heather, I'm sorry, are you saying that those were our thoughts about maybe we were wrong? Maybe we were wrong. We've got some reviews we've pulled from the internet that tell us a different story to our own experience and a game we just played.

November 28th, 2025. This is a person who has nothing to gain by reviewing this falsely, unless they're a bot. This is not a YouTube video. They can be hired by the state. We don't know. It's not somebody who's like trying to make a name for themselves. They just write on Metacritic. Seeley-Covec writes, one of the best games I've ever played and easily the best Sonic game of all time.

It's a masterpiece in game design and executes upon all its ideas. giving us a very fulfilling, long, and challenging experience that's extremely worthwhile, and I'd recommend it to anyone that's willing to take their time with it and enjoys difficult games. Right below that, Sonic Fanboy 233, 10 out of 10. I played this on an Xbox series X and had a blast with the game. The daytime levels were fast and fun. The nighttime levels were slow, but nothing to complain about. I definitely recommend this game 10 out of 10.

These are people who are playing the same game we're playing, And they're like, it fucking rules. It's not that they're like, I fucking hate this. I can't wait until the next Sonic game comes out and they get it right. It's not malice. It's not anger. There are so many. There's, there's.

There are people who genuinely like this game. I found a five-star Amazon review of the PS3 version. The user's Ike Gents. I'll read some of this because it is essay length. Headline, seriously, my favorite game of all time. I will simply start with this game is awesome it has a great story

great gameplay graphics are absolutely gorgeous and the soundtrack is incredible it is very clear to me that people who did not enjoy this game simply didn't spend enough time playing it and I can see that honestly the very first time I played it I found it to present quite the learning curve

however it was not an impossible one in terms of graphics wow this game came out in 2008 and it still looks amazing to play today the game's signature hedgehog engine that actually was the name of the engine in the Hedgehog engine, displays the game's environments

in the utmost beauty, and you really do feel like you're running through Greece, Italy, the Big Apple, Africa, Alaska, Thailand, China, and the Middle East on a mission to save the world. Overall, I really can't put into words

how much I love this game. I'll just say that if I ever have to be exiled to a desert island for some strange reason, I'm either going to be bringing my PS3 and Sonic Unleased with me or die trying. Wow. Whoa.

You know, and like, I think sometimes we see this happen when like the kids of something grow up, right? Like, I mean, the Star Wars prequels, great example of, right? Like, everybody was kind of like, eh, these clunky things. And then the prequels kids grew up, and now people are like, make an Asoka show.

Yeah. Yeah. And I do like the prequels and kind of see what's good about them now. But, like, I think Sonic has that, too, of like, this was just the game they gave this 10-year-old. That's what I kind of think. I think just hit them, hit them at the right age. And now that they can, like, make a profile and comment.

They're like, why do people hate this? Right. Should have gave him a book or something. You turn it up real loud when your parents are fighting. It comforts you. Chip lost his memory and I wish I'd lose mine. Oh, I wish I could lose my memory like Chip. I think the only time amnesia's worked for me in a story was in, I think, is it Fast and Furious Six or something?

Oh, when that's how they explained Michelle Rodriguez coming back to life. She's just like, forgot everything. Yeah. Did anybody watch the last boss of this? Yes. Which is a, so you don't play as Sonic anymore. You play as a underground city that comes to life and you pilot it like a Mac. Yeah, very Gurin Lagoon, actually.

Yeah. You know, I do like how in these games, kind of, I don't know if anybody's played a recent Kirby game. Oh, yeah. At the end of those, Kirby always has to fight like a biblically accurate angel god. Right. And I do like these little cartoon characters having to fight this like horrible Lovecraft monster. And that part was at least kind of crazy and fun. I don't imagine it was fun to control.

But like looking at it, I'm like, this is cool and insane. Yeah. Yeah. You fight as a city and then you fight Robotnik as the werehog. And you're punching a gem in his chest. Right. And it is miserable to watch. So I can't like watching it.

I was like, this looks. like it sucks. So like I can't imagine how bad it felt. Watching it, I'm like, Robotnik looks too far away to punch. Agreed. And then the guy playing this game and making this play through punches and then doesn't connect with Robotnik,

but he just takes the damage anyway. It's so fucking confusing. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah. It's not good. And then you turn into a city meck. And Robotnik the whole time is saying things like, oh!

Yeah. Oh, it's like, oh, God, this sucks. Jim Carrey's robotic is really funny. He is, he's great. He is good. He's great. The movie's good. Give us a Sonic 4.

Are they making it? They're going to do it, right? Are they not going to do it? Why would they do it? They're going to do it. Is it that they kind of can't get Jim Carrey to commit to it? Is he like shaky on it? He said that he was never going to act again, and then he did Sonic 3.

Uh-huh. So maybe he's in that same place and they're going to try and get him to do Sonic 4. although he had a pretty decent, you know, resolution at the end of three. Yeah, it feels like they could just like, you know, and it's hard to imagine the Sonic franchise without a Robotnik slash Eggman as the antagonist, but it feels like there's a version where they don't need him for another entry. But, of course, he is such a charismatic force. Yeah.

Anyway, Sonic Unleashed, pretty bad game. Pretty bad. Awful. When you play one of these bad ones, though. For a second, you do have a crisis of faith a little bit, where you're having a bad time playing this game, and you sort of do think for one second, I don't like Sonic.

I think Sonic is bad, actually. What I more have, especially because this game is so frustratingly difficult, is having moments of like, am I mad at the game or am I mad at myself for being bad at this game? Yeah. And then you kind of realize the condensis, no, this game is very clunky and hard to control

and unresponsive, and it is notorious for its difficult even among its fans, then you kind of like, but I always want to be the guy, Jordan, that you're talking about on YouTube, is like, I want to go into these games and be like, actually, this game's fucking awesome. Nothing would have made me happier than to play this game and be like, oh, wait, it's actually really fun to be the Sonic

and then be the Sonic the Werehog. It's actually, this is a hidden gem. Unfortunately, it's just kind of a muddled mess. That happened to us kind of recently. to you and me Heather We played San Ron Cagra R-E burst renewal

On the show Which is a big titty anime game We did it as a prank And we were like actually This is good Yeah it was a lot more fun than this No you pick that as a game of like Like aha isn't it funny that

Nick isn't here We're playing this horny game Little did you know I already have that in my steamlight It's fun Flap them It's surprisingly, it's way more playable than Sonic Unleashed. Way more.

Yeah, it's and oftentimes faster. Yeah, and more fun. Yeah. Bigger tities, too? It's close. Yeah, I mean, you get Rooge the bat in the Sonic franchise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man, a Rooge. Um, all right. Well, I guess that's this week's how did this get played for the get played DLC. We'll keep doing this. We'll keep punishing ourselves because we know you like it. but thank you Jordan for being here. Oh my God. Thank you so much for having me.

This is always a blast. Please, please plug away. I would love to. Hey, I talked about it in the main feed. I'm talking about it here in the, uh, do, do, do, DLC. Predator Bloodshed. It's a Marvel comic series, five issues written by me, art by Rory Coleman and Roland Boshi.

If you ever wanted to see The Predator get involved at an underground fighting tournament, much like you would see in Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. Well, you can in Predator Bloodshed. February 25th at your local comic book store or if you want signed copies in the mail, signed by me, bit.ly slash cool fight. Bit.l.l.combe.

There you go. Awesome. Yes. That's this week's Get Played DLC episode. DLC you next time. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda.

And this is the podcast, Best Friends. HeadGum. So this is just a podcast where we just talk. Yeah. We're best friends. Yeah. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries.

So the audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You are.

I'm really sorry. I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot. I think you did good.

Thank you so much. You're welcome.