Get Played - Gamer Down

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

Heather, Nick and Matt discuss Matt's recent injury and what kinds of games he should play while he heals. \Check out our merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. I'm telling you, man, it's the best collab that I think the game is done. It's just so good. I'm really excited to see those guys in there because I just think it's, it's such a special thing for the Kingdom Hearts gang to be somewhere else. They turn the moon into a heart. Isn't that nice? It's like all these little light touches. I love that.

It's really great. Hey, guys. Sorry, I'm late. Oh, hey. Yeah, we're talking one-handed gaming this week, right? I just want to get right into it because I have a lot of thoughts. So, anyway. When you're gaming one-handed, you got one hand that's going to be playing the game.

The other hand is, of course, reserved for doing stuff. And now you might be thinking, I'm using my left hand for the mouse and I'm using my right hand for doing stuff because I'm right-handed. But instead, I learned to do stuff with my left hand so he can mouse with my right hand. So the kind of, yeah, what's up? Nick, a couple of things here, buddy. One, we never start the show this way where you just start talking before we like. I am passionate about this issue. Right.

But I mean, like, normally we like go over. some business and we'll do like an intro or something. Lynch can stitch us all together. She's a wizard in the edit bay. I don't want to put that on her shoulder. Secondly, this is not what we're talking about this week. I think there's been a massive miscommunication, maybe on the text chain or in the emails.

I don't know. Why was I a one-handed gaming all day? All day. I was in my cave. We're doing a bunch of one-handed gaming is prep. I have actually a really serious question. Yeah. When you say doing stuff?

Oh, my God. What do you mean? What are you talking about? Come on, man. Come on, man. Talk about doing stuff. Oh, my God. You're both children.

We game one-handed and do stuff as we discuss gaming through injuries and ailments this week on Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to Get Play. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Tiger Weiger. That's me, Nick Tiger Weiger. I'm here with our third host. Mr. Games, Matt Upadaka. Hello, everyone.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premier video game podcast where our topic, well, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. We'll get to it. You've got to know what it is right now. We tend to get to our topics. You maybe know what the topic is. Yeah, we don't get to it fast enough to some of you, apparently. We talk about stuff, though.

We talk about stuff. You're just here to listen to us talk, so we're doing it. Yeah, we're actually fulfilling the contract we have with you, the listener. What have we got to it right now? That'd be crazy. Nick, I know you're joking. We skipped everything else. We just got right in.

Hold on you're joking. That's crazy. Tap the brakes. Ease up, buddy. All right. We have at least another, an hour and 15 minutes before we have to get to something. The only thing we have to get to is our dinner break. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, you guys, it's just like any other job. You know, we're just waiting to get to lunch, all right? Lunch time. I was waiting to slide down of Bronosaurus's back and get home to a big juicy steak. Hang up my hard hat, open up my lunch bale. We ordered we ordered burritos day for, well, I ordered a burrito. We ordered Mexican food from Guaccai. I ordered a burrito.

I ordered a burrito. Wow. Okay. Somebody didn't get the burrito memo. Fuck. Where do we stay? If we're, like if we're ranking these, those are, I think our main guys, at least in an American-Mexican food. sort of context. Where to rank burrito versus taco? I'd say just despite me probably eating more

burritos, I like tacos more. I think I agree. I think a burrito can be a bit of an indulgent. It's a little bit more fun, but you know it also is fun. A plate of like five tacos. The reason I find myself eating more burritos is because of convenience, because I'm very often eating in like on the go or something or I have a limited window and they're just a little bit more compact. Unhinger jaw and swallow it like a pill. Irony of ironies, I like burritos more than tacos, and yet we've all ordered our inverse order today. Life is beautiful. I went to a taco stand right by us.

Ranch, burritos or tacos, which is your favorite? I think tacos. What did we do? What did we do? What happened? I think burrito does sort of satisfy that I'm more hungry, even though you can sort of eat more tacos. You could always get more tacos, is the thing. I went to a taco stand by me that's not.

very far from here where they were making the tortillas from scratch right there. And I was so happy. They were so good. It was just, it just rocked. And this is, you know, I think one of the great things about Los Angeles is that there are food stands of all kinds everywhere. No, no, I'm Karen Bass and I hate it. Despite what the current mayor says. Her dream of there being no taco trucks.

If I had my way, they wouldn't be anywhere. The thing that people like about this place is the most probably is the most probably. availability of tacos. One of the few things that makes life at all tolerable. Just the idea that you could be driving somewhere and that, oh, thank God, a taco truck. You know what I mean? It's literally a saving grace. Think about how unfair it is to the business owners who pay their rent that these taco trucks can just park out in front and suck out their business.

Tough titty, babe. Who gives a fuck? Who cares? Tacos are better than all. Like, I've gotten to this before. I do think if there was a World Cup of Cuisines, Mexico is running away with it. They fucking got it. Mexican food is my favorite food, so I can co-sign that.

But also, I like, I like having a lot of different foods. I love having a lot of different foods. That's what I want. Japanese food, though. Japanese food is great. Like, it's going to get, it's going to be. Like, come. No, it's crazy.

There's, but the top five is going to be nuts. It's going to be a lot of Asian countries and Mexico. I'm going to just wipe the board with it. What about Italia? Italy. Maybe top 10. I like Italian. I don't think Italian food makes my top five.

French? French food? Get the fuck out of here. I honestly, this is, this is me. My take is I think one of my favorite foods, top five food for me is like what I'd call American food. We're talking to hamburgers, hot dog. Yeah, you fucking, just like.

The stuff you can get an American diner, the stuff you get a new American restaurant. That's stuff that I like. Chowder. Yeah. Chicken tenders. Spaghetti. Exactly, right. A hot dog?

Why is that it's Italian? Give me a fucking hot dog. Oh, man. Put up the best hot dog you got against all food. It could be tough. I've talked about my idea for a chain restaurant. Yes. Two dogs where the whole thing is you get two hot dogs.

I think it's got legs. I've told you, I will hand you a blank check. I'm ready to invest. I'm ready to be Mr. Wonderful on this motherfucker. There's no combo number one. because it starts at two because you get two dogs. Yeah, exactly.

And if you want one hot dog, I think you have to pay twice as much. You can get a loose dog. Like, I'm not going to stop me from getting a loose dog. But just like the default is two dogs. It's not a combo.

A combo is two dogs. You can get a one hot dog, but it's considered a side. So you could be up to three hot dogs. You get a side hot dog, side hot dog, side corn dog, side chili dog. It's a good idea. It's like cookout.

I think my chain restaurant idea is Chicago slice. Here's why. Yeah. Almost everywhere you can get Chicago pizza, you got to get an entire fucking pizza. It's a commitment. This is great.

This is great. So I think a place where you could get a slice, a wedge of Chicago pizza, buy it by the slice called Chicago slice. That's my jam right there. How do you feel about the personal deep dish? I think personal deep dish ratios are all wrong. Yeah, that's a big issue with personal pizzas to begin with. I mean, personal pizzas of all varietals.

I usually just want two slices. Yeah, rather have a slice. Two good slices. You can slice, and they're both different. I think you got four... I'll do two samis. Four fucking deep dish pizzas in the front cabinet, you know? You got your traditional, your cheese, your pepperoni, your vegetable.

And you come in, you get a fucking slice, you walk out, you're done. The one issue, if I can point it out, if there are no slice in the cabinet, you're going to wait two hours for the next available... That's why you keep a rotation going. These keep them going. I see, okay, all right. I'll allow this. I like it. I like to get one crazy slice

and one normal one. So I'll get like a cheese or a pepperoni and then my second slice is like something crazy like barbecue chicken or buffalo chicken or something crazy. Well Matt that's a philosophy you could apply to hot dogs over at two dogs. So you get one normal hot dog you get one crazy dog. You got like rattlesnake

dogs there? We might do that. I'm thinking more like you'll kind of have a bunch of regional varietals. Like you'll have like the... They do three months on doughboys. Probably do a month a month long seasonal dog probably over there. Yeah. I mean, I I mean, you know, you get yourself a Seattle dog. You could get yourself a, you know, a Sonoran dog from Arizona. You know, you can get yourself an L.A. Street dog.

You get yourself a classic Chicago-style hot dog, whatever the fuck. These are all available. And, of course, some Sonic's favorite, chili dogs. Only thing harder than tails. Do you think you like some spicy? It's a good question. Because I think chili, that's one of the misses on, I think chili on a chili dog. Generally.

She's spicy? No, not spicy enough, I would say. It's mostly there for, for the. the mess. I think the miss is that you, like, it's hard to eat a food that's just going to give you diarrhea. You say that, but I eat. That's my secret. I always have diarrhea. My lunch would like a word with you. And my breakfast. I did. I love, I love chili dogs. I am a bit of a heat seeker. I love spicy foods. I don't necessarily want like the spiciest hot dog though. That's true. I feel like that's a little like like like so I feel like yeah, give me a little bit of heat in the chili.

You know, of course. Yeah. Why not? But I, but I don't know if I needed. I've had like the red hot dog like the red hot frank that's also got like some sort of hot shit hot on top of it. And I'm just like kind of like this is this is too much. It's Zungapachka. I don't need this much heat. You've just really opened my eyes to something actually, which is you can get like the hot links like the hot Franks and stuff. but they don't, I've never come across like a spicy hot dog. Like the hot dog itself being spicy. And I'm thinking, I think there's room to explore. I think we haven't heard the last of new hot dogs coming out. You can find like hot Italian sausages.

I think a spicy dog with like a yogurt dip would be fucking amazing. Spicy dog with yogurt dip. To like cool it. Yeah. Hey, we can experiment a little bit over at two dogs because you can always get a regular dog to go with the yogurt dog. to go with three of the dog. We're back there working the line. Yeah.

Yeah. All of you were hired. What fuck is this? We're at this experimentation desk. I'm in hell. You'd love being on the line with me. We'd have so much fun just cranking out dogs. We would have fun, but Nick would be our boss and I'd kill him.

Heather talks a talk with Chicago style pizza, brought leftover Chicago style pizza to work as lunch the other day. That's fucking right. I had two slices. Heated up in the toaster of it. No fucking. No fucking diarrhea from Chicago pizza at lunch. No. No,

no, no, no. No, I did not eat dinner as a result. Yeah, you just took a two-hour nap at work. Chicago pizza always gives me energy. Really? Yeah, I don't know. It's, I think maybe, like, when you're desensitized to it as a baby. Yeah.

Your body's just ready to process that shit. Whereas everywhere else in the world, their first, uh, the first solids babies eat are like blueberries and sweet potatoes, but in Chicago it's deep dish pizza. Deep dish pizza and a brot. Ooh, brats are good. Are brats at the restaurant? We'll talk about it. Oh, that sounds like a no.

I think brats probably, I think you get brats. I think you get brots. But the question is how comprehensive do you want to be in terms of offering sausages? Or do you want to just be like, hey, we do two sausages and we do them really well? Yeah. It's in and out theory and you keep it, you keep it clean, you keep it right down the middle. Right. So the Balochro 1.1 has been long promised from DeVal Solo Dev local thunk.

Local Thunk hopped onto the Discord this week and revealed a bunch of info, did some funny bits about there being NFTs in the game. But all of this was compiled in a Reddit post from user Trevorade that I am going to read some bullet points from right now. Because I've played more Balochro than anyone in here, but I think we've all done. dabbled with the in the the the dark arts of the blotro card-based rogolite. Here we go. These are the highlights. A tier two voucher named Lunker. The algorithm for picking the next voucher will bias tier two a bit more.

Specifically, if you have N tier one vouchers or M incomplete vouchers sets, you have N and M chance to get a tier two voucher at voucher draw time. Wow, that is a mouthful and not really comprehensible. And I think it's important, you know, for like if my mom's listening in the show, she'll be like, what does this mean? Yeah, just skip ahead for 20 seconds. I basically just want to break it down. What it means is you get a tier two voucher

for an NM chance to get a voucher against a tier two. And the audience, the people listening to it are now activated. I feel like our audience knows what Bellatro is. I'm going to make that assumption because I know a lot of people who don't even otherwise play video games

have Bellatro on their devices. Absolutely. New mechanic. When a card is drawn to hand, triggers in rounds as well as taro and spectral packs, e.g. You could have a joker, ace up your sleeve, plus one malt when an ace is drawn to hand. That's a fun mechanic. That is really cool.

Basically on draw, so you yellow bonus or some boost. Four new jokers, previously reported there were two new jokers. Blue stakes have been reworked. Blue stakes, I believe, is where the difficulty spike was. It could be wrong. Maybe purple stakes, but there's one of them where there's a huge, like, huge cliff that's hard to surmount with some of the decks. The 1.1 update, Blue Stakes and Joker reworks will always apply, but a checkbox in the profile will enable new content. Achievements will still be possible with 1.1 new content checked off, which is nice for people like the previous balance.

Steam will have a 1.0 branch selectable after 1.1 for Legacy Mod support. And then no Bellatro, 1.2 planned, 1.1.1, and then any bug fixes that follow will be the end of this game. Which I like when games get constantly iterated on, like a Stardew Valley, but it is kind of all. also nice to be like, hey, this thing's just in its final state. And also no multiplayer version is blind. That's, I mean, that's, that's really great. And just, and the fact that it's the work of, like, just someone, just one developer. Really cool. It feels like the best games are, I mean, what this is, what am I saying by saying this? I'm going to say it because I started saying something. Go off game. Even though I don't really know what I'm going. Here he goes. The best games are either,

either made by too many people or too few people. Doesn't it feel that way? Doesn't it feel like, like, Like, hey, wow, they made this with a three-person dev team. This game is fucking incredible. Or like, holy shit, they had 500 people working on this game in 13 countries. Yeah. They spent like $400 million. Jesus Christ, but this thing's, the scope is incredible. Like, I feel like there's like the middle is where things get a little bit, a little bit tough.

But at the polls, we figure out to make really small games and really huge games. I think I want to put position a counterpoint. Which is Expedition 33 Fucking whatever they fuck That is a counterpoint Middle game That is a middle game I bet you they wish they had one more person on the team though

Yeah at least one For sure Man we just need one more Or fewer I'm excited for Blotro 1.1 Whenever it comes It's been long promised And I take all the time you need local thunk

You'd given me so much So much gameplay for such an incredible price point a real you make those purchases and it's like how much value did I get out of this? Oh yeah.

You buy a fucking full price game that's like $70 now and like maybe you play you have a 15 hour campaign you play through once versus like oh I put 400 hours in this game I bought for $5. Yeah and a game

a game so good that I've doubled dip I think I've triple dipped on it because I also have it on mobile I have it on Switch I have it on Steam I have it on mobile and I think it's just it's just an incredible

incredible game. You mentioned triple dipping. You got yourself a basket of chips. You got guac. You got salsa. What's that their dip? No, well, that's a great question. That's a better question than what I was going to say.

Caso. Casso. Okay, you got all three. You got quas. You got... I can go beans. Beans. Take your pick.

You got queso, you got guac. You got salsa. You got beans. Whatever you ever thought you want. Where are we going with this? Are you dipping in the one? more than one sauce. No. You're right. My mind was better. You're ever doing like I'm going to get some guac and like, oh, I'll get a little salsa too. No. Not, no. Actually, no, I'm pretty, I mean,

I'm pretty doctrinaire when it comes to like just dipping into one because I don't want to make, I don't want to get them nasty. I'm not trying to get them all mixed up. One of the grossest things you can see is guac floating in queso. You're like, look. Yeah, it doesn't seem right. But like, in a nacho scenario is not the most coveted chip, the one with all the stuff on it. Yeah. What if you dip alternate corners? Or what if you're like, hey, I'm going to use my spoon to just like spoon a little bit of sauce on top of this case. Remember not to eat chips with you?

Yeah, I was going to say, I mean, you can't even keep a cup up right. Like, what are you fucking talking about rotating a chip to dip twice? That shit is going to end up on the wall. This guy thinks salsa cups kind of corner. What the hell is this guy talking about? No, I mean, the corner of the chip. Come on. I see, I see, I see.

Give me some credit. I don't think dipping multiple dips is crazy. But your question is, your question is well asked. Salsa guac, what's the third dip? I'm one of the great luminaries of our time. Here's the issue, I think, with a double dip. You might dip plain sour cream. Yeah, well, you've eaten mayo from the jar?

Well, I'm dipping, no, I'm dipping salsa and sour cream. Oh, yeah. Oh, I forgot. This man is sick. I think, I think the issue. issue is you dip guac first because it's not going to stick to any other item, right? Right. So you dip guac first, anything else doesn't stick to guac.

You dip guac into salsa, that shit just slides right off. Well, I get a load of this, too. The guac, the guac's an upcharge. They're not just giving you guac. Nope. So you kind of want to get your tips in first because, you know, if you're sitting at a table, that one's going to be the first one to go. Yeah.

Salsa, they're usually refilling that motherfucker. I didn't you ever go to a hillstone? Oh, yeah. Hillstone, the Houston's, the, they've got a bunch of, they got Houston's. get Hillstone, they've got Bandera, they get R&D Kitchen, they've got like the grill it will be tied to a region, whatever the fuck it is. Honor Bar is one of their restaurants. They're all basically the same restaurant, just with a little bit of variation.

But they do a magic trick with their chips in salsa or chips in queso or chips in guac, whatever the formulation is. Dip Duo, it's usually presented as. Which is they don't give you enough chips. And so you have so much dip that you're like, finish your chips. And just as you're finishing it, because Hellstones have the best service in the world, your server's there with a chip refill.

It's pretty good. It's fucking great. It's, it's real, it's dazzling. The thing about the restaurant, I think it's like, it's a pricier restaurant, but I think there are restaurants that are more expensive, right? It's not the most expensive restaurant by a lot. Every time I'm in there, I feel like I'm the fucking king.

They treat you so good there. It makes you feel like they're about to suck you off practically. What the fuck? I'm there. I'm ready to get sucked off. I'm not spending too much money. I mean, it's expensive. But I'm not breaking the bank.

But also, like, you go to those... It's for nice times. You go to those really nice Michelin-Star restaurants and have had some fantastic meals at some of these places. But, like, they can be stuffy and uncomfortable. You can feel, like, out of place. Hillstone, you always feel like you're welcome. It feels like your neighborhood spot.

I love it. I love it so much. I eat there every day if I could. Should we go now? Matt, I would love to. I was in a hillstone in Santa Monica with my buddy David Phillips. And we were at the restaurant is called R&D Kitchen. It's right across from the Aero Theater, which is this great American Cinemitech picture house that shows a bunch of rep screenings.

Been there forever. We're sitting there. We're just dining in for lunch on a weekday. A Humvee pulls up. A camo covered, camo-skinned humvee pulls up. Guy gets out of the driver's seat. There's no parking valet at this restaurant. Gets out of the driver's seat.

His passenger gets out and goes to start driving the car and to go park it. Walks right in. This place is packed. There is a wait list. There's a whole bunch of people standing in the bar area. Walk straight in and just sits down at a table. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes.

Fuck, yeah. And it was like, first off, it was so awesome just to see this guy with that much gravity of celebrity where even a bunch of like, this is a Brent, this is in this North Santa Monica Brentwood neighborhood where like a bunch of like the richest assholes live. He can go to a nicer place.

He can still go, like he goes there and then he still had the sense of, the sense of power of gravitas for everyone's heads to pivot over and it's like, holy fucking shit, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I bet you he was fucking massive.

Yeah, he's a huge guy. Oh, man, that's awesome. He's so cool. Oh, and his, his, Terminator. All right. It's not a very subtle man.

Let's go, man. He earned it. Well, yeah, he's the fucking Terminator. He's like one of the most iconic men of all time. Let him do it. It's not a good person. He was our former governor. How dare you?

Huh. I put some respect on the governor. California's always been a joke. I love Hillstone. I love Hillstone. I like the... Retrobedo Hillstone? Oh.

Wow. Hey, look. Yeah, Ranchuanish, you go. Okay. I was saying, maybe that's the team outing this year. Oh, my God. We usually go to a place that's, we usually, for our year and dinner, go to a place that's nearby the studio. We could do a little bit of field trip.

Maybe we do a little field trip. Maybe we go to Hillsstone. Go to Houston's in Pasadena. I would love it. I would love it. I have the time my fucking life. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Wait, Houston's. Houston's is Hillstone. What is Hillstone? It's the company? Hillstone owns all of these. Hylstone owns Bandera. But Hillstone also has restaurants called Hillstone that are basically just Houston's. Gotcha.

It's a whole thing. It's a branding thing to make it feel like it's less of a chain than it is. Gotcha. So it's kind of atomized into a bunch of different brands. We had a bandera in Chicago when I was growing up. And when I found out it's gone now. When I found out that it didn't survive COVID. Neither did the one in L.A.

It's a real bummer. When I found out it was a chain, I was so fucking heartbroken. I was like, but this is a Chicago restaurant. What are you fucking talking about? How can there be more? Yeah. Heartbreaking. There are very few left.

And also their seafood shingle, their seafood shingle, which is Gulfstream. There's only a few left, unfortunately. There used to be a Gulfstream in L.A. Damn. That place is fucking awesome. Look. I'm just putting it out there. Yeah.

We don't have to commit to it, but I think it would be fun. Get the dip duo? I'll say this. I like planning our year-end dinner more than doing the podcast. So I'm excited to talk about it. That's not true. We love doing the pod. Hey, buddy, look, we've all been there.

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Enjoy responsibly, and huge thanks to Indicloud for helping everybody enjoy the return of routine without giving every new responsibility a starring role. And we love talking about video games here on this video game-centric piece of media. The question for the room is about video games we've been playing late. lately. That question is, what are you playing? What are you playing? Highest me, the Resident Evil Merchant. Zach Kruger, I don't know when the call's coming, but it seems like this show is already

in theaters. Yeah, the movie's out. And it's only going to get more difficult. Yeah, I think at this point, you know, it's had its theatrical release. It's opening weekend. I don't think they are going to add in a scene with the Resident Evil Merchant. I haven't seen the film yet, so in love. Spider-Verse had post-release edits.

Okay. Star Wars got all kinds of different versions. Ken Russell's The Devils. Just finally, its full director's cut as being released. Resident Evil can incorporate changes post-release because these films, it's not well-known. Their films are released digitally. So you can change the pipeline in post. Films are living documents.

Who knows what the future holds. But I do have to say I'm a bit pessimistic. It feels like that that movie is game. That movie based on a game is pretty well self-repanied. I just wonder if we all closed in our eyes. Okay. I'll indulge you. I'm closed on my eyes.

You too. And we believe for one second. Are you leading us in a prayer? There's that, Gregor. I know I know I'm a hard man to get in touch with. I know I'm shifty I'm soaking wet but please

incorporate me into the movie from which I come said so eloquently Amen Amen Amen He did say that there are no characters from the games in the movie That didn't make anybody mad from one of the other I can play

I can play any kind of roles I'm on next there. I'm on versatile. I can do a backflip. You can do a backflip? I can do a backflip. I kind of feel like... I gotta be honest.

I'd love to see it. I'd love to see it too. I've kind of worried because I feel like the taller you are, the harder something like that is. Yeah, and these lights are hanging pretty low in the studio. I'll do it outside. I don't need to do it. Okay. I'll take it on faith that you can do a backflip.

It's easier for me to do it on pavement because of the grip. Right. I would just be cautious doing a backflip on pavement. That's the best place to do it. You need a real, like, torque from the grip. I maybe do it on a gym mat, maybe in a controlled space. Soft. Okay.

Soft. You got, look, I don't want any of my momentum to be taken by that mat. Look, you know, this might be one of those things where you're more likely to injure yourself with a dull knife than a sharp knife. So maybe I can't do a backflip. I'll just trust you on this. Oh, my God, that makes sense. My knives are dull, and I am hurting myself constantly. they are suffering out of the meat onto my hand

I think maybe you should just focus more on just your general safety rather than trying to open a cardboard box and I just slides open the part where my thumb is That's tough you gotta stop When you get to your hand I gotta get one more knife Probably just one more

Nick Weiger What are you playing? Was an evil merchant, thank you so much for asking I have a few updates first off Oh my god You know those toys that are Like they're on a pole

And they have like two balls And you kind of like clack at each other His body sort of like did that in the air Yeah he's just sort of Now just staggering out of the studio That looked extremely uncomfortable Hopefully we get an update from him later Jesus Christ

That can't Like I know he been good. I know he planned that as like some sort of grand exit. Like here you, oh, you think I can't do a backflip? Here's a backflip. We weren't calling his bluff to begin with. No. And then just do that. I don't know. Just describing it physically. Yeah, he like

bent in half. Yeah. Like I saw a man break. Like a twig. Yeah. Like Batman over Bain's knee. God, Jesus Christ. Hang in there, Resident Evil merchant. God bless you. And I will pray.

bless you yeah we'll say another prayer for you since apparently you're christian so one update that's a that's a little bit of a bummer i'd been eyeing this game dim rath that just went into early access and let me i'm gonna show some of this footage to to you all because this game just just aesthetically look at how gorgeous this is um let me go ahead and play a little bit of this of the trailer this game and we can sort of describe this is kind of like this uh this two-d top-down pixel art um action RPG uh we see that the sprite work is really tremendous. Like, look how detailed this is.

And from what I've read, from people who've been messing around with this, that detail is as present in the gameplay. You know, there's just like an incredible amount of granularity in terms of like all the races and classes you can play. The skill trees are just like expansive. They're like world map size. They're just absolutely huge in terms of what you can do. And I was kind of rooting for this game from a developer Mudtech.

Here's the thing. The Steam reviews say the writing is AI generated. Oh. Which, you know, just an allegation at this point, whether it is or is not, the excerpts I've seen, to me, are pretty indicative of generative AI. The consensus is that it's pretty poor writing and the writing really pulls you out of it. I'm going to read some excerpts from a negative view from Bacon Pirate on Steam. Quote, this game makes me really conflicted. If I could give a neutral review, that'd be what I'd give because this is two-thirds of a good RPG.

The gameplay is phenomenal. The art direction is also phenomenal. However, the writing, the writing is so, so bad. I agree with other reviews that say the dialogue is AI generated. I personally have mixed feelings on AI, but using AI for writing is really bad and causes lots of issues. The dialogue also often doesn't make sense. feels badly translated and forgets things, and the AI pads the dialogue so much.

Eventually, I just stopped reading the dialogue, but it left such a bitter taste in my mouth that it could enjoy the rest of the game, which is amazing. This is so confusing to me because I don't think anything else in the game is so passionless. I believe the art in the game was made by humans

and it's genuinely fantastic. The character portraits have so much soul, which makes it more jarring when they speak. The combat in general game plays also fantastic and well-balanced, so it's really odd to me how passionless the dialogue is. The way this lands is, I know the devs have said they're planning to listen to feedback, so I just want to say, please hire writers. I really have no feedback. Everything else about the game is great. Just please hire writers.

Now, it's an early access. So perhaps if they are using AI, just an allegation, it's intended to be placeholdered. But at minimum, it seems like it's just like the dialogue is of a level. And as someone who is allegedly a writer himself, I like naturally a thing that I would be hyper, or conscious of, it definitely put me off of it. And so I'm going to wait for now. But this is one of those things where I'm always like, man, do you realize how cheap you can hire a writer? So many writers, there are so many great writers who are out of work who are so incredibly talented that I'm just like, just toss a few extra bodies at this thing.

And if that's like, we all have our own disciplines we're able to succeed at. I certainly have no idea what to do if I was tasked. with animating a, you know, a pixel art character. So like, like, that's, you know, that's something I would, I would seek someone else out with. But if that was what I could do and writing was something I was less comfortable with, I don't know, maybe go to somebody else. But again, I don't know exactly what's going on with their development.

I don't know if it's AI or not. I just know that hearing all this made me opt not to play a game. I was very, very excited to play. Oh, man. It looks, it sucks because it looks so cool. It looks like, before you said all that, I was like, I'm going to get this. This is awesome. And now I'm like, ah, it's like, it's just so like, yeah, just hire somebody.

Yeah. Well, hopefully that, I mean, I'm still holding out for it. Again, it's in early access. So we'll see. Temp assets or can sometimes get extended to text as well. Instead, what I ended up doing with my limited gaming time this week is picking up Cairn on Steam Sale. This is a rock climbing game that came out in January and critics absolutely adore it. Kirk Hamilton, our buddy past guest, raved about it on triple click.

It is aesthetically gorgeous. The gameplay is akin to a quop, a QWOP, a Bennett-Foddy game I know about, but I've never played where you can control each limb individually, except this is not a rage game. In fact, it's meant to feel kind of like the opposite. And climbing has become such a central mechanic to so many open world games. I mean, obviously, you know, Tears of the Kingdom or before Tears of the Kingdom, Breath of the Wild is what leads to that being such an omnipresent mechanic. that it is interesting to play a game that is just centered on that alone, on climbing alone.

If it wasn't for critical consensus, I don't think I would give this game a chance, just because it's not what I normally play. But it is cool. And it's stressful, but also, like, has elements where you kind of feel like you're in a flow state, you know. The main character is Ava, and, you know, you're kind of like, you're planning your route, you're jamming in spikes, you can opt to even control limbs individually if you want to or semi-autimate that. There's a lot of granularity to the gameplay here. I will say I'm either going to stick with it or at a minimum watch a playthrough if I bounce off of it gameplay-wise because I have heard it's very rewarding through to the end.

But that's what I've been playing this week, messing around with newly acquired Cairn on Steam Sale. Wow. Yeah. I've been wanting to check that out too because I've heard it's really, really great, but I just haven't had the time. It's one of those ones where I think its release window is it'll be interesting if we see it, if we see it acknowledge it like the game awards or whatever the fuck. Because it's like something comes out in January. It's really easy for it to be lost in the shuffle by the time all the big releases are hitting in fall. But from everything I've read and from the limited amount of experience so far, you know, one of the notable games of 2026.

Heather, what are you playing? What game gives you the opportunity to watch show Hohantani shoot Sora in the head with a gun? My two guys. MLB the show, 2026. The greatest game, Fortnite. Wow. As of record, Kingdom Hearts Bundle has come to Fortnite. It is lightly re-skinned the game.

Sanctuary plays on the battle boss. The key blade is in the game. And the package is, I would say, pretty substantial. Tons of keyblade options. A gummy car. You've got, you know, Sora, Riku, Kyrie, and my boy, Roxas, all available as skins. You've got multiple tracks of music that you can purchase, a couple of emotes, and multiple styles for those characters. Like you can play As Sora from KH1, KH2, or KH3.

Great, great collab. That's the way collab should be done. Pricy? Sure. If you buy all of these individual items, it's something like $100. Or if you buy them as the package is $45. What a delight. Love Fortnite.

Wow. Never going to stop playing Fortnite. I have returned to the world of near. Wow. I continue forward trying to become the near person on the podcast. Wow. And I'm in an area where I literally said to the screen, what the fuck? Oh.

Majorative or complimentary? Complementary. Complementary. I'm in a place where all the enemies stopped attacking me and are just dancing. What the fuck? And you can kill them, but I have yet. I was like, look, this feels like a fucking test. I don't I'm not going to kill any of these dudes

It feels like if I kill one of these dudes Either everyone's gonna come at me or later somebody you'd be like Why'd you do that? Yeah to be Those guys were dancing and you shot and executed them It's like an undertale punishment Yeah so so I haven't killed any of these guys I'm just going around this area where everybody's dancing And there's like carnival music playing and I'm like honestly

Vib Shift game still doesn't look look great. Yeah. But every time I round a corner in the game, I'm like, this is, this is fantastic. I think I've told you you can fish in the game. Oh. But the fishing, as far as I can tell, offers no bonuses. It just shows you a photorealistic fish.

It's just like, sea bass added to collection. Great, great game, having a blast. also still progressing forward with Chrono Trigger. I am about to be further than I've ever been, but I am still places I've already been. Really want to finish that game before we see them in concert. May I ask a question as someone who, the person in the room who does not know Kingdom Hearts?

What's up with all the gummy? Like, what's that gummy stuff all over? Well, he's a gummy ain't yummy guy. I softened my stance on gummy. But I'm curious about the- gummy could be yummy. It's situational. I'm curious about gummies in Kingdom Hearts specifically.

Here's the deal, buddy. In the 1990s, there was a Disney cartoon called Gummy Bears. Disney's Gummy Bears. They're bouncing here and everywhere. I do remember Gummy Bears. So being the Kingdom Hearts is a Tetanomora X Disney collab. Gummy bears had to be represented in some way. And so the gummy technology was how they inquiries.

incorporated Disney's gummy bears into the games. That's the nod to gummy bears. Yeah. Wow. How about that? You got Chippendale there. Oh, I know Chippendale, yeah. They're part of it.

Rescue Rangers. Yeah, Chip and Dale working on the gummy ships, I think, is a nod to Disney cartoons in the afternoon. Disney afternoon. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I like Chippendale rescue Rangers. Chichichia, Chippendale, Rescue Range.

Chichichin Dale. There's no danger. What is it? When there's danger. When there's danger. You know. it never fails. They'll get the clues.

Yeah, yeah. And find the where's and wise and who's chichich. I thought you were a fan. Duck tails. Darkwing Duck? Darkwing Duck, my favorite actually. Love Darkwing Duck.

Let's get dangerous. The only one of these, I knew this song, but truly the only one of all these that I liked was Ninja Turtles. I was pretty mainline Ninja Turtles. Fucking all the Disney cartoons I was a little like,

I like Duck and I like Duck Tales. Darkwing Duck, guys. Darkwing Duck is cool. Darkwing Duck is good. I like Ducking Duck, and I didn't like the other one. Tailspin? Duckula? Was that his name?

There was a Duckiela guy. But Tailspin is the one I associate with Duck Tales. Tailspin had Launchpad McQuack. Launchpad McQuack thing also. Yes, yeah. Darkwing Duck. I love Launchpad McQuack. I like Tiny Tunes.

I like Annamaniacs. I like those too, yeah. They're in different ecosystems. I don't like that Disney shit, man. Get that away from me. Get the fuck out of here. When there was a WGA strike a few years back, I met on the picket line.

an older writer who'd been, it was his fifth strike he'd been in. Oh, God. And he, but he was a writer on tailspin. Wow. And he wrote like a hundred episodes

of tailspin or something like. Wow. And I was like, oh, wow, how'd that work out for it? I was like, I made like $500 a week. Again, writers are cheap. Yeah, you can do it. I shouldn't be saying this.

One of my favorite parts about the guys who'd been through like five strikes is a lot of them had their signs. Yes, right. You'd have like a sign that had like faded ink on it from like a like a late 90s strike and they would have kept it in a closet ready for the next strike and I kind of want to be like, hey, maybe maybe let's hope we don't have anymore. Like maybe get rid of those signs. Yeah, well it's also I mean just to

next point, the writer's often not asking for all that much. That's true. This fucking pay them so they don't have to go on strike. What are doing? The chorus, Heather, Your version of the chorus is the second chorus. So I think that's why we're over and on the same page. You're thinking of the credits when the show's over. I'm not thinking of shit. I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm not talking about anything. Sometimes, some crimes go slipping through the cracks, but these two gum shoes are picking up the slack. There's no case too big, no case too small. When you need help, just call Chichich, Chipp and Dale. Rescue Rangers. Chit, Chich, Chich. And Dale when there's danger.

No, no, it never fails once they're involved. Somehow whatever's wrong gets solved. That's really good. Yeah, it's really good. But it's also just kind of funny. They were like, we got to do something with Chip and Dale. What do we do? And they're like, I don't know.

They just like kind of solve crimes or some shit. I love cartoons. These two little guys just do all that. One's dumb and one's cool. Ranch, what are you playing? Honestly, just magic's together. Give us an MTG update. I now have seven decks.

Wow. I have built two in the last few weeks. Tell us about your new decks. One of them is a vampire deck. Hell yeah. And one of them is a loosely a cat deck. Wow. I love that.

Cat deck. Do you have any, like when you're building a deck, what is your philosophy? Are you using a, are you using a deck? an existing template? Are you like, oh, I kind of, you know, are you freelancing a little bit on your end? Are you trying to build around like, like, oh, I have this particular card

that I just want to build a base a deck off of? Yeah. Because you're talking commander. Yeah, Commander. The last two I have made are purely from cards that I have because I was like, I need to do something with these. So it was really just like looking at the colors and trying to, just trying to make anything work.

That's awesome. Give us the color ways of your cat deck and your vampire deck. The cat deck is white, green, and then the vampire deck is mono black. Wow. Love it. Scary. Actually, that's fucking scary. Yeah, it is.

I think there might be a little red in there because it's like akin to blood. I know that's not exactly what the red magic signifies, but... You better hope that... All black. Somebody doesn't play a garlic deck against your vampire deck or a mirror. They don't get hurt by mirror. They just can't get seen. Yeah, I don't know how, I mean, I might disorient them the presence of a mirror.

Oh, you know what? You'd be screwed against a freaking closed door deck. No one's inviting your ass in? Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. You have your regular, like just one regular group you're playing with? How often are you meeting?

Now it's a couple of little pods I'm a part of, but I got my roommate really into it. Wow. I love this. Sometimes we'll just play at home. Oh, what a dream. What a lovely time. I love that. I just told Matt, I got a lottery for an elite trainer box of Pokemon cards for the 30th anniversary.

Arrives next week. And by win a lottery, I mean, you have to register to get the opportunity to purchase. Yes. And my name came up. So I'm really excited. I haven't opened a tangible Pokemon pack since the 90s. and yeah I'm really looking forward to it because I you know I also continue to play

Pokemon the card game pocket familiar with a lot of those cards can't wait to actually get in the tangible game you haven't really messed or yeah at least you haven't really spoken about too much about the Pocopia DLC have you gotten in there at all I don't like underwater oh I forgot about this you don't like underwater it's gonna be a big problem for his first bio yeah the second one I'm really looking forward to

but I don't like underwater okay so you're like so when the new one comes out You'll be into it and you're just going to maybe skip underwater completely. I think I might. I really hate underwater. I really like this as a character trait. It's good. It's like how my wife and I will sometimes be watching TV or a movie. And if she catches wind that it takes place in one location, she's like, I can't do that.

It's also when I stop playing Expedition 33. Oh, really? Oh, when they get to go underwater. I was like, I'm fucking done. I don't want to see this. That's so funny. By the way, this is a coincidence of timing. I have an update from our former headgum intern, Ryan,

who was with this for a while. Just emailed me, bleep this ranch, but I'll say this for the room. emailed me the subject line, all caps. The title of a short he just completed, that he's not sure if he's going to be releasing publicly or not, but I'm excited to check it out. Nice to hear from Ryan.

Hey, buddy. I remember being in the room, when he discussed the concept of this short. Yes, yeah. And I just was like, let these, let him cook. Just let him cook. Let the kid make his movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Go to babble.com slash played. That's Babel, B-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-E-L-L-L-L-L-L-L for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. Matt of Badaka, what are you been playing? Well, what are you playing? Well, I tried to do the impression of the... That was actually... I was trying to do it and I can't do his voice.

No, that was actually... It's a tricky one. Yeah, I think I can do... What are you playing? That's not bad. That's good. We may need to sub you in if he's... Injured?

Yeah. If he's laid up for a while. Well, you know, recently, Metroid Ravenness was announced for release January this coming year. And that got me thinking, you know what? I never actually finished Metroid Dread. Oh, sure. So I had gotten all the way to the final boss,

the save right before you go into the room with the final boss. And I was like, I don't fucking got it. I don't got this. Okay. And since in the intervening years that the game has been out, they've added, they call it rookie mode. Okay. Which is, it feels like it is easier, but the game is still actually pretty hard.

Clarify what's happening here. You got all the way to the end and didn't finish it effectively. Exactly. But that was with your previous say. That was my previous say. Which you abandoned the last boss for some reason like Heather at Final Fantasy's happened. I just like could. Don't.

It's not. I was under level. I understand. And there were no way. There's no enemies to level me up. To be fair, she's done it with Chrone Trigger and Final Fantasy Tactics. in it. No, no. Tactics

advance, I am in the middle. Permanently in the middle. It is my secret dream to secretly start that game and finish it. Here's the thing, Matt. I just don't think I'd be able to do it. Because nobody can.

No. It is a forever game. But I started a new game. I started on rookie mode. It is still quite a bit challenging, but I was effectively flying through. this thing. Yeah. I spent the better part of a weekend,

the weekend after, we recorded last, basically, playing it, I got about maybe halfway through, and I was thinking, if I just put my nose down,

hunker down and fit, I could, I was like, I was thinking that this could be my weekend thing. Yeah. That I could, because I love,

the loop of a, you know, a Metroidvania, which I've yet to ever make good on the Vania part. I've never played a Castlevania before. That's something I'd love to do. I've played a few of the 2D Metroid games, and so, you know, I was obviously

very excited for Ravenous. I have the pre-order it. This is a fascinating blind spot for you that I forget about because, you know, and I haven't played Castlevania since Castlevania 1. I'm not a completionist, but I played most of the, I mean, I played all the major entries

of the series to some degree Castle by the 70 tonight an all-timer for me as someone who was so in

a Game Boy advance and there were so many you know and DS as well there yeah there were so many there were so many good iterations

in that era but you just missed all of them I didn't you know what's stupid about it too yeah because at that time

I wasn't into Circle of the Moon I wasn't into like those types of games like I just was like and I should have been but I didn't I didn't know

they got it like that when I was younger. I was only really playing like Pokemon and like Mario stuff on on Game Boy, kind of a huge, there's swathes of games I just never played. And of course, Final Fantasy 1 and 2. But I was feeling pretty good about my play-through and then like had the rest of the weekend

and was like, I'm going to do this, this weekend. And then I went and played my baseball game. Now, when you say baseball game, you don't mean a baseball video game. No, no, no, no, I'm not talking MLB, the show 2026. Yeah. Or super mega baseball four. Right. Or any of these types of baseball games. You're talking about... Baseball they just brought back. You're talking about a meat space baseball game. I was in the meat space. I'm on a baseball team

in a league here in Los Angeles with some friends. You can share. It's the Los Angeles Dodgers in the MLB. You're the shortstop. I would be horrendous at shortstop. Those guys, are working. It's wild how, how, you know, nimble you have to be the field at that level.

But, you know, and it's, it was the last game of our season and I had two at-bats. My first at-bat I will share. I struck out, but I had a feeling up there that I hadn't had all season

where I was nervous. Wow. I was nervous at my first at-bat. And I don't know what was going on. Wow. And it felt like it felt like I went back and I was like, I have to like calm down.

Like I was like, I felt like not that, because look, I'll just go ahead and candidly say the team we were playing against. Nothing to worry about. But you were nervous. But I was nervous. And I was just like, I don't know what this is. It feels weird.

Because normally I can compartmentalize one of two things are going to happen. I'm either going to hit the ball or I'm not. Right. More often, more recently been hitting. Hell yeah. But not a stranger to not hitting it. And so I'm like fine with either.

Yep. I would prefer to hit. My second half bat, it's a bit of a battle because I'm going back and forth with the pitcher. Like, I'm fouling. I'm getting a slice of it, you know. I hit a couple fouls. There are a couple balls thrown my way. So it was a real sort of like, what's going to happen here?

I take a swing and I swing basically directly into the ball. And the ball lands, it hits me square in the thumb. The thumb knuckle. And I already know something's wrong. Yeah. Because the guy was throwing heat, but I had one swing. But because I got hit in a swing, I don't get walked because I swung into it. The ball wasn't going to hit me if I didn't swing.

And I would have been out. But because I technically got a piece of it, it was a foul, and I had to swing again. But I couldn't, I knew something was wrong because I couldn't close. my hand. I couldn't, um, my God. I couldn't like really hold the bat. So I had to just sort of take like a you know, a sort of gimmee swing just to get off base and end the inning. Uh, and then I took my, I was wearing gloves. I had to take my glove off. My thumb was like twice as big. It was immediately completely swollen. Yeah, but then. Great of your hitchhiking, but further applications. Huge problem. Oh, or if you want to give, give, give, give,

your enthusiasm for a movie. You know, that's a, that's an asset. If I was Roger Ebert, this would have been the perfect scenario for me. That's awful.

It will carry more weight. Yeah. He gave me the big thumb. But I basically go home and I'm just like, well, I take myself out of the game because I'm like, I just kind of doesn't, I was,

I wanted to keep playing, but I knew I was being brave. Yeah. And I was like, ah, I probably shouldn't. because I kind of don't know what's going on. But I went home.

And this is, we should say, for our listeners, this was your dominant hand. This is my dominant hand, my right hand. Yeah. Right in the knuckle of the thumb. Ouch. Fucking God. Stop saying it. The thumb knuckle.

And so I go home. I basically, like, I go get those tacos I was talking about. Hell yeah. There we go. And I know that I'm hurt, but I, but I'm sort of like, oh, it's I feel like if I broke it it would be more painful yeah I just know that it's swollen and they can't move it yeah so maybe

maybe tomorrow it'll be better I don't know we'll see so I'm like icing it and I'm trying to keep I went out and I bought like a splint that then kept coming off at night which was great and my thumb kept moving at night and would jet me out of bed because I'd be like oh fuck like it would it hurt um I just like roll over on my thumb Oh, God. The next day, I spend an entire day with my mom and my brother.

Okay. And then at the end of the day, I'm like, oh, then I drive to the airport with my wife to go pick up my in-laws. And then on our way back, I'm like looking at when a local urgent care closes. And I'm like, you know what? I should go to urgent care, I think. Because it doesn't feel like it's getting any better. And in fact, it feels like it's getting a little worse. Oh, man.

I go there. They don't have imaging there, but they give me a better splint. I go get a x-ray the next morning, Monday morning. So this happened on Saturday. Monday morning, I'd go get an x-ray. And then, you know, the x-ray texts are like, we can't tell you what it, we can't diagnose, we can't tell you what we think about the x-ray.

We have to send it to our doctor. I take one look at this thing. And I've like, this thing's fucking, like, broken. Like, it's like, have you seen it? Show me the x-ray? Show me the shot. I think everybody else has seen it. But the x-ray, I mean, it's like pretty clear that it's like,

fracture. Yeah, that's a classic fracture. Yeah. Let me see it. And there's like not that much left. It could have been a clean break. Right. Christ.

So there's bones just hanging on there. Oh my God. Fucking God. And there's kind of like nothing you can really do to repair it other than keep it completely still and let it do its thing. So basically, I'm in a, like, full-on, like, hand brace right now. I have no mobility of my thumb, and it's made my life a fucking nightmare, actually. I can't hold a fork.

I can't do very basic stuff. I was saying earlier that I bought Pokemon cards the other day, and I had to have my wife open them for me because I couldn't pull apart the... The plastic. And of course, something that keeps happening to me is I keep trying to do normal stuff and then hurting myself. And then I keep bumping into it because I just keep, I just, it's just a different little like spatial awareness thing that I'm doing. But the real, my first thought when I got hit, well, I guess maybe second thought. First thought was, ouch.

Yeah, sure, naturally. Y'ouch. Second thought. How am I going to play games? Well, it's strange, Matt, that you would bring up Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. Yes. Because I think that there is an entire genre of gaming which you can play your, with your left hand, you play your movement. And your right hand, you can do a tapping or a selection.

And I think maybe those are the kinds of games we're going to talk about today. Yes. As you might infer from the episode topic and from Matt's anecdote right now. Now, Heather and I and Ranch were aware of this before this record. It's a really unfortunate injury for you, Matt. We hope you feel better soon. But that leads us to Gamer Down. Gamer Down.

Gamer Down. We're going to talk about what kind of games you can play when you can't really play games. I do want to say two. Yeah. One, it's not really bothering me right now. I won't try to move it. but but but and I'm going to see an orthopedic uh specialist in a couple days uh but the recovery time on an injury like this is typically like three months so I'm like I'm going to be laid up

for basically the rest of the year that's a while yeah that's a that's a that's a that's a meaty space which um is a lot for me to think about right and I'm trying not to uh uh lead have it lead me down a dark path. It is, it sucks and it's making, it does make me quite upset because, you know, especially because it was at the hands

of a team that ain't really worth it then. But, there are people that have come up to me in my league that listen to the show. I just want to talk some shit. It's one to talk a little shit. I won't, you know, it's all right.

But yes, I am sort of like, on the hunt for games that I can play either with one hand or with sort of alternate mobility. Because I will say I've made attempts at playing some of the games that I would normally be playing. Like, you know, we did an episode about our favorite Canadian guy that wears yellow, Wolverine, last week. Right. That's how I think of them as our favorite Canadian guy who wears yellow. Not the guy with the claws or the healing factor or the adamantium skeleton. Did I get hit in my thumb or my freaking skull? By the way, if I had an antimantium skull, adamantium skull, or skeleton, this whole thing would be an issue.

I had healing factors be non-issue. I started to try to play this damn thing by using my index and, middle finger to press the triangle and square and circle and X buttons but it is hard to it's just different I'm sure I could maybe get the hang of it also I will say

I was having a lot of fun actually playing the game because I like the character right and I think the combat there's a satisfying parry in this thing I was able to take down I was playing it on normal difficulty but it was like

it just feels a little less fun to play a game like that. And it's such a bummer that this injury happened exactly right now. Right. Because I was hoping, knowing that Wolverine was short, that I would knock it out. One, I was hoping to finish Metroid Dred,

was hoping to finish Wolverine before the game that I'm really, really excited about. Maybe the game I'm most excited about for this year, Control Resonant comes out next week. And it's an action-focused game. And I'm just like, I'm probably not going to get, I've pre-ordered this thing on PlayStation. I'm probably not going to get to this thing until September now.

Which is an absolute bummer because I love those games. But I'm just going to maybe... Not September, you mean? I probably won't be able to play it until December maybe. And then, you know, who knows if my thumb will be... Imagine having to wait so long for Grand Theft Auto 6. Can't play it on the day? Yeah.

Who knows if I'll be... what it's going to be like, my thumb's going to be like then. Maybe it'll be a little bit better, but I don't know, I don't know what the future holds for me for the rest of this year games. I think there's a couple opportunities here. Yeah. One is, you got to think about different kinds of input. Yes. A mouse is possible.

A mouse is possible. Yeah, the challenge there, and please continue, Heather, the challenge there it is, is your dominant hand. But you can still kind of manipulate it with it or learn how to mouse with your left. Yeah. But you can mouse without thumb. You can mouse without thumb. You can mouse without thumb. You can mouse with a click and holding the mouse.

I say this because I broke my hand, my right hand. And as a lifelong gamer. Not recently. Yeah, not recently. Maybe also crazy you also had a hand injury. I do it just because you did. I'll show him. Oh yeah, he got a fracture.

I broke my whole hand. So I lost my ability to play video games for however fucking long. was six months. Yeah. And had to play alternate play style video games in order to not go crazy. Yes. Another thing you can do that doesn't require thumb, fighting games. Yes.

You get a joystick. Yeah. And all of the action on that game is going to be left thumb. And then all of the fighting is tapping with fingers on a joystick. Yes. I was thinking about, because I have a, I have a fight stick. Yeah. Or, you know, arcade stick.

And I was like, I wonder how many games I could actually play with this that are not necessarily the type of game that you would play a game like this. But then I had the thought of how am I going to move the camera. So it's not going to be applicable to every type of game. But, you know, an Absalom or something like a beat him up. Yeah. To probably make short work or something like that. Another major genre that you can do.

get yourself a steering wheel and you can racing game hey get yourself some pedals you can go all the way yeah you can you can play racing games 100% without ever using your right hand I know that you're not a racing game fan

but imagine you're pipelined into Grand Tresmo or Forza as like one of your main ways of like decompressing which is what I use games to do maybe you end up being a racerhead Maybe, well, also, I hope I'm not a racerhead. Didn't seem like it worked out all that good for that guy.

Yeah, racerhead. I mean, you know, whatever. It had a weird baby. Made the best of it. But these are all starting to sound like things I got to sell my wife on. Like, I actually need this. I need this. Well, what I would say, what I was going to, and here's the thing.

But I like it. I know this is a thing that this is a device that has been, you know, it really beneficial to people with disabilities, which is the Xbox Adaptive Controller. And, you know, it's $100. It's not free, but it's like that's... They won't just give it to me because I'm hurt? No, they won't just give it to you because you're on the IL. But it is a...

From what my understanding is, and I don't really know how it works, it basically like, looks like a set of turntables, but it actually just has like an enormous... amount of extensibility in terms of remapping controls to something that, you know, whatever your physical abilities are, you're able to play games of all types. So, I mean, that could be one thing to look at that might be a more useful or more holistic short-term solution than something like a racing wheel, which is a little bit more specific. I was also looking up the PlayStation accessibility controller, which, you know, looking at it, I have no idea how it works.

But if my options between playing Grand Theft Auto with a strange controller, and let me say that the benefit of playing a new game with this controller is your brain might just like incorporate, this is how I play this game. This is how I play this one. You know, I play control this way. I play Grand Theft Auto this way. Yeah. It might be, it might be frustrating, but then again, maybe it might not be.

Yeah. I looked into that too because I was, I'm interested in it. as a, it feels like a little bit stolen valor, but like, uh, I do think that it, it could be helpful in a time like this, but I know that there's plenty of games that I could potentially set my side.

Like, for example, you brought a belatro. I've been playing a lot of belatro. Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, Blotro you can play either on your, you know, on a,

on a touchscreen or you can play with a mouse one handed. I mean, that's like a really, that enslave a spire or two that were, that I was thinking of immediately. Yeah. But also I was, would say, like, you know, I'm a big fan of subset games. And shout out to our, or the composer of the get played theme song, Ben Prunty, who does, who's composed for multiple subset games. But into the breach, which is, it was my favorite game of 2018 and, and FTL, which I came to later and ended up putting hundreds of hours into, are both games that you can play pretty much mouse only. And, and I also believe there is on, weirdly on Netflix. Like, it's one of those things where that was there.

license agreement, you can get into the breach on mobile devices. So, you know, you can play it on iOS as well. But, like, those are, the nice thing there is that you've got real time with pause for FDL or you've got turn-based with Into the Breach. And both of those are just, like, really conducive to, because the thing is, you're, whether you're using your non-dominant hand or whether you're using a thumbless, um, uh, right hand, uh, dominant hand with the mouse, you're probably not going to be great at things. like aiming, you know, things that maybe require a little bit more quick twitch and precision. But things that are just like, hey, this is a turn-based experience. I would say just like, immerse yourself in turn-based for the next couple months.

Yes. I would say, and I know all this is just like, we're just fucking talking at you, Matt. Hey, we're all just talking. We're all just talking. But I think that one of the other ways you can think about this is retro games that came out before the existence of the second analog stick. Mm-hmm. So any game from Super Nintendo.

I gotta play Panzier Dragoon. Honestly. Maybe. Any game that comes out before Saturn launches that second analog stick is going to be a game that you can play on a joystick and using fingers instead of thumbs for input. Yeah. So, you know, any Super Nintendo. any Super Nintendo action game, any Genesis, any, you know, like all the way up through

a significant portion of the PlayStation library is going to be pre-second analog stick thumb input. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's interesting because I mean, because I loaded up my steam deck right now with a couple of different things. Because like, the one, I've been using like a pillow too to like balance it. I'm like, I can't hold this fucking thing. Yeah. huge. SteamX huge. The big boy. Same with the Switch 2.

Chunky boy. But using, also Switch 2 has mouse mode. And they just released Diablo 4 on Switch 2. Does it, does mouse mode work? Because like, when I messed around

with a Switch 2 mouse, I was like, what the fuck is this thing? You can hook up a regular mouse to it. I can hook up a regular mouse. Oh, okay. That I was not aware of. Ooh, a Bluetooth mouse

with Diablo 4. But you have like a gaming PC. You can also play that. I mean, that might just be an easier solution for house-based gaming. I don't have to buy a second thing. I already have all this stuff. I already actually have all this stuff. And actually, I moved.

I shouldn't have done this today. I didn't like where I had my desk. Yeah. I moved it. Yeah, that sounds like a bad choice on a broken thumb. I didn't need to really use my thumb. I kind of was able to sort of like just use the rest of my hand. But if things were going to go south, that would have actually been bad.

Yeah. But luckily it went okay. I hit it a little bit on accident. You hit? I hit my thumb a little bit. God damn it. Matt, you shouldn't have been doing that. You should be targeting November.

I moved a bookshelf too. Because the bookshelf was where I wanted the desk. I can't. You know what? I'm not giving you any more advice. You're going to do whatever the fuck you want, dude. Well, that I was able to use my body. To move a bookshelf?

Yeah. No hands? I use my hand. Uh-huh. My left hand. Uh-huh. And some of my right. Unbelievable.

Not my thumb. Can I just point to another game, which is a game that is on all of our top 10 lists of all time and a game that you could very easily play one-handed with a mouse on your PC. Disco-Elysium. I mean, it's time for another disco-elisium play-play-through. It plays a completely different archetype. I mean, you could play you could play a fucking Boulder's Gate. You could also play Baldur's Gate as well, a little bit more of a commitment, but, you know.

Well, I got the time. I've been thinking about stuff like that. I mean, I haven't messed around with esoteric ab yet. Yeah, sure. Two games I installed on my Steam deck are esoteric ebb and divinity original sin 2. But what is your plan for playing them on Steam Deck? Because, you know, the medium is the message, as they say. It is like, I'm just trying to think of how you would actually control something one-handed,

where you're having trouble, you're struggling to even hold the fucking unit. I know that the, not to mention my own unit. All right. Fucking big hogged freak. What the fuck? Are you using your dick and stuff? I didn't think I broke my thumb. Trying to create a new narrative.

Yeah, I got it. I hit my thumb with my dick and broke it. Here at the doctor. It was a baseball accident. Don't lie to me. Yeah. Okay, fine. It was my huge hog.

It fell on it. Um, I, so the, I mean, I guess with the controlling game of that, I think I don't think of those games as too action-oriented. Like, there's a lot of things you're doing. Yeah. And stuff like that. But I feel like, well, one, the Steam Deck has the touch pads. Okay.

Which is great. And two, for, like, the commands and stuff, since they're turn-based anyway, I can easily sort of, like, you know, not use my thumb for the face buttons. You need, like, a Nathan Fielder hanging tablet thing. You need like a strap that goes around your shoulders and puts a lap desk

At your at your gut I've seen a lot of these Pillows that have like a Like a winch What on it that then like A lot of them? I've seen like one I think it's called like the mechanism or something What? And it like it has like a pillow

It's like a gaming pillow and it has like a selfie stick For Your your device Your gaming device so you're not holding it. This is like it's just propelling us to the the Wally future. Yeah, that's something like some real shark tank shit. Gaming. Yeah.

I'm looking at that. It could potentially help with me not having to hold Sure. You know, the device. But I still, and you know, whatever, I've made this point. I perhaps don't need to make it again. But I have a, I have a cut my mouth in the people. So like this thing?

Yeah, something like that. It doesn't look good. I hate it. It's a little, it's a little aesthetically displeasing. Imagine, imagine like a giant, life saver with a with a armature that comes out of it that screws into the back of your gaming device yeah so that you can lay back put the pillow on your stomach and the pillow holds the device i think i think the way to go is like like go stationary get yourself

set up in a like and i understand if you're a couch gamer if you're if you're a handheld gamer this is going to be dissonant from your normal yeah your your normal gaming play style But I think set yourself up as like, I'm now a desk gamer. That's the way I'm going to play. And my primary input mechanism is mouse. And I'm going to play games that are not as rapid fire and not as action oriented. Because there's so many great games you can sink so much time into. I mean, and I think that's just going to be the easiest way to approach them.

I think so. Because, yeah, I mean, instead of trying to modify the way, modify the way, modify the way I play a game that I would be playing. Like, I don't want my control resonant play-through to be strange. Yeah. You know what? Because I want to like, I want to enjoy that game. I want

that, like, I'd, like, the game that was the most excited for this year. So, like, if I had a hard time or an unfun time playing it in a sort of modified way, I think I'd be bummed out, you know? So, like, I think, yeah, pivoting to different types of games. And also, like, I was saying all this to my wife, too, and she was like, why don't you, like, try to, like, read something? I was like, yeah, I guess I could do something else.

Boo. But, like, I, you know, I love video games. You're not like a gaming podcast. You can't read a book. I'm not going to come talk about some fucking book. Although I'm reading a fucking cool book right now. What is it? So, my favorite Viking author, Neil Price, he wrote Children of Ash and Elm.

Yeah. I'm reading a book of his called The Viking Way, which is a, it's a textbook. Yeah. There's no, I mean, it is a big, like it's a big book. Yeah. And it's got like multiple columns of reading on each page, if you know what I mean, like a textbook. Yeah. And it is about how Vikings perceived the world based on all available archaeological and written information.

And it just turns out these guys are, they're insane. They're like an unapproachably alien way of thinking. Yeah, I mean, yes. Yeah. Tell everyone what you told. me earlier this week. Okay, so one of the... Nick, get away from me.

One of the... One of the contemporary accounts of Viking behavior comes from a Middle Eastern writer whose name escapes me. But the Vikings make their way into the Middle East. And there's an Arab writer there who is like, I got to write down what these guys are doing because it's fucking crazy. And the way that they would...

at a funeral, set the body ablaze, is that a guy would strip completely naked, cover his butthole with his hand, walk backwards to the body, and light it on fire without looking backwards. And the reason this was the way that he would do it is because at the moment of like the body or the soul, transferring into the other world,

it wants to get into something else. And so... I thought it was so he didn't burn his asshole. So you walk backwards covering your butthole so that it can't get into you. And it's written by this guy who's like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Like all of his accounts are like,

oh my God. And so wearing clothes wouldn't stop this? I think that the clothes were probably Well, first off, they wore like tunics, and it's also flammable. Yeah. So you walk backwards naked. The more I unpack, the more I understand. Yeah.

Yeah. This does explain what my uncle was up to at my grandpa's funeral. It's me, Nick, your grandpa. He's alive. I'm in your grandpa now. I'm your uncle now. I mean, your uncle. He didn't cover the special place.

That's wild. But yeah, you could read all 34 Halo novels or whatever the fuck. You're a guy who likes to play video games. I think you should just don't play video games. Yeah, I did start, I did a run the other day. I had not really played much Slay the Spire, and I was like, you know what, I'm going to give this a go. There you know that Wiger really likes this game.

Love Slay the Spire too, too. I got all the way to the, I almost completed a run, got to the final, the end of the run or whatever, their boss. And I lost, and I was like, that's the way with Rogue Lights. sometimes. I got the itch though. I was kind of like,

oh, I kind of see what this whole thing is. This is good. No, that's great. I love the art style. The art style is great. Art style is great. And that's another one you can play

on multiple platforms or friendly to a one-handed gaming. I was also going to point towards this could be a graphic adventure period for you, which I don't know if that's a genre you've ever really delved into. Yeah. But, you know,

some of the classic Lucas Arts adventures are, we covered Day of the Tenticle on the podcast. But, you know, you could dig into the old Tim Schaefer Canon, the full throttles, the groom, grim fandangos of the world. You can play the Monkey Island franchise. There's a lot of, there's a lot you could do there. And that's even accepting a lot of the contemporary graphic adventures, which, you know, there have been a lot of the drifter, for one that came out last year that apparently is being adapted into a

movie. It is another thing where it's like, that's not a game that you need a lot, you need both hands to get through. Yeah. And I was even thinking too, I mean, that's like interesting, I wonder if like, it just probably actually wouldn't even be possible for me to play a Phoenix right game or something. Hey, there you go. Like, I could probably play it on the Thor and then just use my index finger as the... Yep.

Actually, I could do it. Be more like Phoenix left with you right now, playing with your left hand and all. Because your right hand is unavailable because of the injury. I wish I had Phoenix left you behind 30 years ago. however fucking long I've known there something like that would be fun I've been thinking about you know there's some

old turn-based RPGs I haven't dug into yet I've never finished Final Fantasy four there you go there you go I've never done five never done six six six in all-time or perhaps the best in the series I might jump up and start six or something six would be cool

You, I mean, you could also do earthbound. I could do, I mean, yeah, it's just, it's just so, it's, it really, like, I mean, obviously, like, one of the main things about, and, you know, of course, this is such a, this is a champagne problem. I can't play the type of video game that I like to play. Yeah. Right now, there's a million other things that I can't do. Shaving was extremely hard the other day. I can't hold a fucking fork or, you know, I make breakfast every morning, and I still been doing that, but, like, I can't butter. Oh, Heather.

What? I've never, I've never. Uh-oh, where are we going? Had so much trouble cracking an egg in my fucking life. There we fucking go. Welcome to the club! It's a absolute disaster right now. It's a nightmare. Well, you have two working hands. The fuck is wrong with eggs.

Oh, I was going to ask you this about your broken hand, though. Was it your left or your right hand? Your right hand, your dominant hand. My right, I broke this part of my hand. The bone under your knuckle of your pinky. Yeah. And I broke it playing a game of basketball. I got a pass.

You know, you catch a pass like this or whatever. And the ball came straight in, transferred all the energy through my pinky and then shattered my whatever this bone is. Yikes, crazy. Lower than your knuckle in your hand. And you could still feel the lump. Do you think your hand? went back to normal after.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's encouraging because for some reason, when you look up like hand injuries, a lot of people are always like, yeah, they never really go back right. No, sometimes things don't heal right. And that's a real concern. And I think that part of that concern for you should be as much lack of mobility as possible.

I do have a much better. This brace that I have on now is so, like. Rigid. Rigid. Yeah. Whereas like the ones that I had before, one were falling off at night or two, like, two, like I had one that was like a clamp kind of. And I was like, this kind of feels like the wrong thing because it hurts to wear. But this one is, this one's not going anywhere.

I was in a full cast. Yeah. And it's the only cast I've ever been in and it sucked. But also. In the cast to get played. One of the main players. You think this is a cast? I don't know.

I call it. Are you acting? Before every record, I go out to the cork board. I look at the cast list. I say, I got the part. And then I walk inside. And Ranch is the drama teacher. I wait for Ranch to post it up on the cork board.

You were in a full cast. Full cast. I was in a full cast and couldn't use my thumb because everything was locked off. And I couldn't, obviously, you know, can't grab a controller. at all, I had to learn to write with my left hand because it was also like

when I was taking all of my like college entrance at exams and I had to like fucking fill in a scantron with my left hand and shit. Did you, the question I have for you is like were you doing anything

gaming wise in this period? Yeah, it was of course I, I mean... What were you doing though? When I was playing video games without my... Yeah, during this period, yeah. I was playing, I think, PC games. Okay.

Like typing style, like anything that I could do that didn't involve holding a controller. Yeah. Yeah. And if I was playing controller games, because like the tips of my fingers were out. Like, it wasn't like a cup. Right. Right. So I could like tap with the tips of my fingers. Despite my clumsiness and my constant spills, both of liquids and my physical form. This guy's about to brag about. he's never broken a bone.

I have never broken a bone. And apparently I'm, uh, tempting fate every time I handle my fat hog. But so far. My ring just grazed my tooth. I don't need another problem. No, but I, it's a, I, I'm thankfully have avoided that. I have, for me, my biggest gaming related, I guess, injuries or ailments have been times

when I've like had trouble focusing my eyes. or had like chronic headaches and I just can't focus on screens and that's a huge moment. You gotta stop smoking that weed. I'll never lay off the sticky yicky. This guy. They call me Dr. Green Thumb.

Can we go back to when you and I were talking about... They called me Dr. Broken Thumb. We'll be right back. Ranch, we've heard about your harrowing injury on the soccer field where apparently you died for some time. Your head fell off. Ichabod crane style.

Have you ever had an injury that would like prevent you from like playing video games? No. I've never messed up my hand or anything like that. Wow. I did stop playing video games for like a couple weeks after playing Hades because I felt like I was getting arthritis in my thumb or something. You know what? That actually is a great point. A good thing we should touch on it, which is repetitive stress.

Because like I absolutely, that is a gaming really. ailment I deal with of just like I get really into a game like Hades which I played the shit out of and did finish the wreck was at 10 times so he could get the true ending and was was playing on on high level heat you know as as I kept doing runs until I finally burned out on it yeah well you're a bit of a heat seeker I'm a bit of heat seeker um I'll I'll take all the heat you got in and in Hades just uh keep it off my hot dogs here's what I was going to say are we are we even using language anymore? Like, is it just like,

are we, like, in a, like, a fucking cult and we just speak in code now? We've transcended language. Yeah. Now we can just basically communicate with a pure emotion. I saw... You sound like Kodima.

I saw a post the other day that was basically, like, the way, it was an Evangelian, like, meme. It was basically, like, the way in which I would submit to instrumentality immediately. Yeah, like, as soon as it's an option, like, I'm doing it.

I'm in, absolutely. But, I mean, like, And honestly, if I'm thinking about it, the repetitive stress I'm most likely to deal with is when I'm playing games that are mouse-centric. So that's another thing, I guess, to be conscious of because, you know, you get that tight grip on a mouse, that that can really fuck you up as well.

Yeah, I mean, I think I'm just going to have to really, like, yeah, become, you know, a point-and-click, a mouse and keyboard kind of guy, just because, I mean, or, you know, game on my iPad or something, utilize more touchscreens and the like because it just really sort of made me very aware

of I've always known this but like the types of games that I like are very kinetic kinetic and input forward I have to be doing a lot like I was in the middle of a fucking Eldon ring play through I'm not getting back to that oh man

my Edis Knight is going to be stranded in the lands between until I'm fully healed wow My furled finger is all fucked up. That's a bummer. But I do think you can maybe try to, however expression, whatever cliche you want to use.

You know, make lemonade out of lemon, make lemons into lemonade. How do you say that? Make lemonade out of lemons? What is the phrase? What is the phrase? You've confused me so much. I forgot what it is.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade. When God closes a. door he opens a window yes when uh you're um when you're faced with uh new challenges broaden your fours of horizons when you're sliding into first and your pants are about to burst diarrhea right that's the one that's what i was looking for because if you like maybe you really like because i know i know you've enjoyed playing like animal crossing oh yes maybe you really like would get in like city skylines or something like that and you'd be like

Like, you know what, actually really, I didn't know I liked building games so much. Yeah. But actually, this mechanically is really, really, you know, engaging for me. This could be, maybe this is what finally gets me on the Stardu train. There you go. You know, maybe I start, you know. Like, the game is maybe a little bit easier to play with two ends. But yeah, you could try it.

Maybe. Maybe you try it. Because there's a amount of action and it actually usually play with controller. Maybe I'll just play those games that play on the side of Theo Vaughn TikTok. I always like the, uh, I always like the, uh, I, I like that they're the ads that are just about those games, you know, where it's like, it's like a guy with a gun walking towards a screen and then walks through like a, like, you know, either three times four or like like like 100 plus one or whatever the bargain. The guy makes the wrong decision. I'm just like shooting at a pack of zombies or whatever.

And then so that they're like those exist. Those are all fake games that are steering you towards like Clash of Clans clones. But then they, the ad started the ad meta switch to people going like, I know other games like this are fake, but this one is a real game. actually plays like this, but those were also fake? Well, then there's also the other version of it too that's like, okay, I got the power up, okay, and they're like not actually playing it. They're just like sort of like pre-narrating

the video of the game. And it's like, it sucks. But the way those things really, at least me in, my dumb lizard brain, not that I don't ever click through, but this is what they're betting on. They're betting on you, being like, I can fucking do that.

He made the wrong choice. I know exactly what choice to make there. Let me fucking download this thing and show this ad. You need an IQ of 180 to to finish this puzzle. I think I fucking got this. The green one goes with the green one.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's going to be a bit of an adjustment. You know, it is going to be maybe a little frustrating and perhaps even uncomfortable. But I think there's so many, there's like just so many different types of games

that I haven't even really dabbled with. And I also think there's another thing that we haven't touched on here. But, you know, you could be like Stellan Scarsguard and breaking the waves. You could be like, you know, Woody Harrelson, people versus Larry Flint. You could learn to enjoy watching.

Dance for me, baby. What the fuck? Old Woody Harrelson is in a bed at the end of the people versus Larry Flint. Can't have sex anymore. So you're saying... Yeah. I'm saying you can get... He's saying watch porno instead of playing video games?

I'm not saying watch porn. I'm saying you could watch... Don't get we started on the limitations of this. You could watch... I'm saying like, maybe you'll find your favorite Twitch streamer. Maybe you'll find some YouTubers you're really like. I really like watching... I've talked about how much I love watching speed runs,

how much I love e-sports. Like, that can be really engaging in gaming content. But also it could be the sort of thing, like, hey, maybe I'm not interested in this game, but I'm interested in watching someone else play through it. Yeah. Which might ultimately be my experience with Caird.

I don't know. We'll see where I land on that. Yeah, from what I've heard, and, you know, I said this in our text message thread, it sounds to me like you can still play your copy of Wolverine because it apparently plays itself. Well, look. Just press forward with your,

left thumb. Oh boy. There's some, I was saying. I'm just saying what I've heard. I haven't played the game. I haven't played it either. I'm just saying what I've heard. I don't want to repeat. People are saying. I don't want to repeat rage bait. I think some of it's rage bait. And, you know, of course, Wolverine, no stranger to rage. People are saying. I have just, in terms of what people are saying, I have heard that that Giff of Wolverine dropping the towel and showing his big hog is present in Wolverine the game.

I'm just, this is what people are just saying. People are saying. Have you all seen that gift? He better watch out. No, I have not. Oh, my God. It's a classic gif. I've never seen this gif. Oh, let me look it up.

What is he doing? What are you even describing? Wolverine has a huge hog? He's 5'2. He's just like talking about a time that he saw Wolverine's cock and he's going to show it to us. Oh, how the hell am I going to find this? This is a dream you have. No, I have this is a real meme.

How? Why don't we have HR? Why is over here? He's, like, why do I have to be subjected to this? We do have HR. Headgum Ranch. his computer he's got fucking AI built into his desktop right now it's just saying over and over again not again nick please not again all right i found a i found a thread giff of wolverine dropping towel to reveal gigantic penis uh op just types in the post i need it thank you for your time uh so apparently it is it is something that is covered a little bit yeah okay here we got i found it oh it's like a action figure wolf i'll just show it to math that's good right i want to see it i'm not i want to see it okay Let me see it.

It's funny because it's not human. It's, it's, it's good. This is what you wanted to show us? What context did you see this in? I used to see this all the time when I was just, he used to see this all the time. This was my Twitter ecosystem. I felt like this was like maybe a daily occurrence.

I am so online, Nick. I am so online and I have never seen this rubbery gif of Wolverine's enormous dick. If you listening to the show have seen this before, you can respond in the Instagram comments for this episode. Hashtag I've seen it. I will say that the hashtag I've seen it. I think people are aware of this gift. So he is, Wolverine is bottomless except for boots.

He has a towel in front of him. Him wearing the boots is actually a really funny detail. It's funny that he's got the boots on. And he is expressionless and it is a 3D model of him dropping a towel and then to reveal a pendulous like thigh-length penis. It doesn't really make a lot of sense. I don't know what context you would use this in.

Also pubeless, I should say. Yeah, well, also doesn't seem like that would be true. He seems like famously a hairy guy. Yeah, but who knows? Maybe he waxes in this. You think he manscapes with his fucking claws? It's possible. Anyway, that's what I was thinking of.

I'm glad we wanted this tangent. What is happening? To me, this was like, I shaved my pews in my claws, Bob. This is in the same bucket as any request, lose the shorts with Animal Crossing Villager and KK. I've seen that. Is the bucket images you like? Do you have a game that you're like specifically like, you know what?

I think I might play this next. It's kind of like I think I just need I need a dabble I need to dabble because I need to see what's going to grab me Like I said I've installed a few different things Like your divinity two original sins Your esoteric ebb

That is honestly like Esoteric ebb is kind of the one that's sort of calling my name I think because that was like Good game. Good game about this year Because also I was thinking I was like I would like to Replay Disco

That seems like it could be a fun thing to do, but the choice of replaying something or playing something new, I think I'm going to lean playing something new. I also never finished Diablo 4. Oh, there you go. So I'm like, oh, there was a new expansion for that. I wonder how much of my thumb I would need for, because I'm also used to playing those in a, you know, handheld capacity. Yeah, Diablo 3 and 4, I played with controller. Yeah, controller capacity rather. Diablo 2, you could play with a mouse but you still need the keyboard for hot keys. So it might be, you know what, I think if you just switch hit it,

if you could control your mouse on the left hand and do the hot keys. So maybe... That's what I'm picturing. I'm picturing mouse in the right hand, keyboard in the left, get the, you know, the Wazdi controls down, and I'm cooking with gas. Maybe try the, maybe try the Diablo II resurrected

and mess around with that, because that should be playable. And then there's like just, you know, like I said earlier, like your Final Fantasy 6 is your, your tactics type games, too, that I could get into. You could get into a classic Sim City. Yeah, yeah. Those sometimes a SimCity will suddenly become the most addictive thing you've ever played.

I'm worried about something like that. But, like I said, I have the time. So there's a lot of avenues for me. Also, there's already games that I read know and love, like your Balotros and your ball pits and stuff like that. That I'm like, I'm just kind of moving a guy. Yeah. A ball pit, you're just moving a guy. Pocopia has mouse controls.

I think I might be done with it. Okay. Wow. I don't know if I like underwater. You just move too slow underwater. I don't like underwater. I like being underwater. Yeah, me too.

But you got to come up. Yeah, you got a surface at some point. But I like splashing around. Even the Mighty Tocoon surface. Do you jump into a pool or you walk in? It depends on the context. I feel like most pools I am at these days are hotel pools. So you're not going to do a candleball bunch of strangers.

Yeah, but also those usually just don't have enough depth. You know what I mean? I feel like those are more like standing. lounging pools. You maybe have six, have six feet at the deep end, but you're not the depth that you can go off a fucking diving board.

At the local pool when I was a kid, the Downey, it was like right next to Downey High School. Might be called the Downey Pool. For all I know. Sounds right. There used to be a big,

there used to be two diving platforms. One was like, sort of like average height, not very high up. And then there was the high dive. And you were tough shit if you went off the high dive. Wow.

Big jump. 12-foot pool. Sometimes people would intentionally belly flop off the damn thing. Oh, fuck. Why would you do it? I'm doing big cannonball trying to do big splash. Yeah. In the big pool.

And I'm also trying to touch the very bottom of the pool because it's kind of scary. And you kind of feel like Sonic when you're coming up. I like going off the high dive, even though I have a fear of heights. Yeah. At the Simon Boulevard Park in Lakewood, California. Yeah. Nice, nice public pool there. You might impress a couple chicks up there doing a big jump.

I don't like swimming at all. You don't like being in any water? I don't like being in the water. What about jacuzzi? Jukuzi's okay. I like being in the water. Ranch? Yeah, I love the water.

Yeah. How do you like jacuzzi? Love the jacuzzi. I like to be in jacuzzi for like three minutes. I'll be in there for a little bit. I feel like I get nauseous or something. Yeah, I start feeling like I get cooked. Interesting.

You can't get overheated. No, I get out. I get out. I'm like three minutes. I want some jets on the back. I'm out. If we're talking hot environment and the hot to cold transition, I'd rather do a steam room or a sauna into a cold shower.

Boom. Now, I have not done the cold plunge thing, but my understanding is that that's also an interesting experience. I did the cold plunge one time, and I'm good. I've done a cold plunge, and all I can do to like contextualize it is Vikings. I'm like, what a Viking would do? I better cover my asshole. Shall we do a segment?

Let's do a segment. It's time. For the question block. Wow. I'm going to pull up stuff on my... This is how I move... Use my phone now. This is how I use my phone now.

Boomer style. Tap with my damn index finger. Here we go. Our first one is from Frankis. What's up, Frankis? What's up, Frankis, right? Of course, these are source from our Discord.org.g.g.g.g.g.g. Frankis writes,

what is a video game that you think could work when reimagined as a one-button mobile game similar to Super Mario Run. Now that would actually be pretty interesting to me. How incredibly relevant of a question. I don't think Super Mario Run... I mean, I guess it's one of the better ones of those, but I never liked those one-button platform,

those endless runners. Are you sour on it because your nephew spent like $10 on it or something? Oh yeah, I told this story. My nephew, like, I saw I had Mario Run on my phone, and was like, can I play? And then somehow navigated the menu and immediately, like, Yeah, spent like $15. I don't know how he did it.

You spanked him in front of everybody, right? You can't go spanking your nephews, your nieces and nephews. No, you got to be the cool uncle. Let him get away with murder. Parents can be the stern disciplinarians. Ultimately, you're the one that benefited from that because it would be money on your account. Yeah, it's actually good that he spent the money. Now that you can play the game better.

Right, that's right. One button game. I feel like, I mean, what? Do you remember this is the thing that we talked about before and the thing that we saw the Nannino Museum in Kyoto, which is the, there was one prototype for a Wii controller that at a certain point was just a one button controller. Oh, yes.

It was shaped like a Mario Star, and it just was like one button in the center that you depressed and that they were just like, what if input was this simple? I admire the swing. Obviously, it was not, it was unworkable. Yeah. I have a crazy pitch. Which is, what if you took a combat game and you distilled it down to attack, right?

So you're just pressing A to attack, A to attack. Yeah. But it's a game about having no defenses. Like you are a glass cannon. Yeah. So you have to time your attacks to either deflect the incoming attack or strike. Yeah, that's cool. Okay.

So you're moving. I don't know. in theory it's like ghost of Yote mobile, right? Mm-hmm. So you're moving by holding down the button in between combat segments, but you close distance by tapping. So do you understand?

So like you've got like a field of enemies, you auto-target an enemy. Are they always attacking? No, you auto-target the closest one. Yeah. Because it's a mobile game, right? So there's like a three-enemy screen. You have to time your attacks

because you have a health bar that you can never restore. So it's like conceptually it's an endless runner but it's an endless combat and all you can do is attack on cadence based on the enemy's attack pattern. Interesting.

I like it. And so you close distance, close distance with the attack. Kind of the way Sora does. You know when Sora strikes, he's also moving forward. Yes. So you're doing that with all of the enemies

at the same time. That would be my pitch. for a one button combat game. I mean, I kind of feel like, I'm just thinking of something that would translate well to, and I'm sure this already exists, Tetris, where you're just,

you're moving the blocks yourself, right? Like, you touch the blocks? What do you mean? Instead of using, like, a, like, a D-PAT or something like. I actually don't know how mobile Tetris controls. I imagine there's a fake D-Pat on the screen. Or like, you're just doing it. Right.

You're touching them. You're physically moving them with your own, like you're dragging in. You're drag to the side, dragged to the side, tap, tap, tap to rotate. Yeah. Interesting. You work. Maybe some might have that control scheme.

I don't know what the Tetris company is authorized. I also think like, because we're just talking about Diablo. Yeah. We'll see what Diablo five ends up being. The idea of this returning to the procedurally generated open world I like. And I like they've got like a caravan. I was like, what's up with that caravan? I don't know.

I like some of the broad strokes I've heard about it. But what they maybe could have done with Diablo. immortal instead of making it this pay-to-win game is make it more like make a diablo that's like a vampire survivors that is just an auto shooter yeah that i know that dead that diablo immortal predated vampire survivors but it would be kind of interesting to see a mobile take on that it's it's effectively a one button or no button game did you see that they announced diablo five for 2029 yeah this doesn't even seem true it's a year that's going to happen maybe We're going to hit it.

It'll happen. It'll happen. It'll happen. It's not going to be good, but it will happen. I saw a crazy, a crazy, I saw this insane, you know, like ancient alien style. Yeah. It's insane German historian claims that 300 years of medieval era didn't actually happen. That Charlemagne is a myth. Uh-huh.

And that it's actually the. that the reason the year was changed was so that there was a emperor or something who then could be the ruler in the year thousand, right? Uh-huh. But there's 300 years that aren't actually in the calendar and don't actually exist in the historical record, which is sounds insane to me. But that currently it's the year 17 something, 1726 or something. I'll have to, I'll have to see this from the source to wrap my.

head around it because I'm having trouble figuring, squaring that with all the documented historical events that happened. I would be pretty upset if that were true. Yeah, that would be, I mean, I'd like, I'd like it honestly. It sounds interesting. I mean, yeah, I guess I like it. This next one's from Life Stees. Hey, Life Stees. And Life Stees writes, What do you think is the stinkiest game? What characters do you think stink? I kind of think that Eldon Ring might be one of the stinkier games. It's a stinky game.

It smells bad. Nobody smells good in that for sure. One guy eats shit. There's a guy called the dung eater. You think he fucking smells good? He does not smell good. Have you guys been to Halloween Horror Nights or anything like that or like a haunted maze, like that type of thing?

Back in the day, but it's not like a regular these sorts of things. They have these sometimes ones that aren't based on IP, those kind of like go off. And then one's like, it'll be like some like the butcher or like something they made up. Right.

Sometimes they have, like you'll go into a room and it'll be like fake meat smell, like fake dead body or fake meat smell. I kind of feel like Eldon Ring smells like that. Yeah. And like worse. I have an answer for this. Yeah. And I'm going back to the

PlayStation PlayStation Xbox era, PlayStation PlayStation 2 Xbox era of gaming. I think the Abe's Odyssey world might smell particularly foul because there is a lot of meat on hooks in there. Abe can fart. It just seems like a really stinky.

And also, who knows what those fucking weirdos smell like, these, the creatures. Yeah, I bet every, like, like, they've kind of a reptilian stench about them. I bet those are pretty disgusting. We've also, you know, chronically on this podcast, established that Sonic's face,

Stinks. Right, yes. Stinks for sure. Because it's so big. His singular eye. He's stinky. I bet you know how there's like nasty Pokemon, like Muck and Grimer?

Oh yeah. And Trubbish. My boy. But I kind of feel like they don't stink because then people wouldn't like them. You think Trubbish doesn't stink? I don't think Trubish stinks. You think he smells sweet? I think he smells like a little nice guy.

All right. I like it. Fucking garbage. Nick. I think he likes smelling like garbage because that's what he personifies. Well, if you say so. I think, here's what I think. I think Trubbish doesn't stink.

I think Garbador does it. I think Garbador has a little bit of a stink. Yeah. You know who smells the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They probably smell too. Yeah. They don't want to be around them. Yeah.

Because turtle stink. I had a pet snake and I had two pet turtles as a kid and yeah, they fucking have a, they can get rank. Now imagine the turtles, which naturally stink are also living in the tunnels of human shit under New York City. They're living in the sewers. Fucking disgusting. subsisting on an all-picea diet. It's a fucking nightmare of stench. What kind of...

Turtles don't have dicks, right? Yeah, they have dicks. They get big ones. Huge cops. Yeah, they do famously disproportionately large. And when they fuck, they make little noises like... Hey, I know that. My freshman year in college, I was at a party.

False, not true. That's going to be better than my... anecdote. Maybe just move on. No, tell the story. And out of nowhere for some reason, I just said to a group of people I saw two turtles fucking

once at the zoo. And it just killed the vibe. You don't say. But it is true. The weird thing is that he was standing in the living room, arms completely flaccid at his side for five

minutes before he said it. Just in a T-pose. I mean, if I saw that And I didn't know anybody You gotta break the eyes somehow It feels like, yeah, it feels like I thought it was an icebreaker And hey, you know what?

I might get some of these freaking College people a little horny To hear something like that, maybe everyone starts fucking Ooh, turtles are fucking That makes me want to fuck. I don't got a shell Yeah, elder ring just doesn't seem like Yeah, it's a stink

You mean to tell me That You know what, Melania might smell good. Maybe. Doesn't she have scarlet rot? Yeah, you're right. I forgot about rot.

I think also, too, there's so many zombie games. I mean, like, everything zombie related. None of the Resident Evil games are smelled. Resident Evil 4 fucking stinks. Honestly, the last of us is probably a pretty stinky game. Yeah. You never see any of those people bathe. No.

No, nasty business. What do you think a bloater smells like? Oh. Yeah. Rough stuff. Oh, yucky. This next one is from Jargon Roobes Which is better

Kid Link or Adult Link? Kid Link Hmm It's a good question Kid Link Or Adult Link Or Adult Link Oh

I think I like Adult Link I just think that It's tricky TuneLink is the best And TuneLink's a kid Tune Link is cool. I do like Tune Link. I do like Tune Link and Smash Brothers.

But I do think the grown-up link you're getting in the more contemporary Zelda's is a cool link. He's really cool. And he's got a cool character design. It sort of makes me wonder if there would. If there had been a teen link when I was a teenager, would I be more of a Zelda guy now? Is Adult Link kind of a teen link? I guess he's kind of, yeah. What is his age?

What's my age again? Yeah, we got to have to do it with Zelda. I'm really curious. I have no idea how old Adult Link is. We find out he's like 27. We're like, what? It's like watching Seinfeld and you find out like George Costanza's like 31. Like, what are talking about?

I don't like knowing that. What do you mean? He's fucking old. All right, guys. Here's canonical ages of, of, of, of, of, legend of Zelda series. I want you to, I want you to, I want to make a guess. It's time for a new segment. It's called, What's My Age again?

Yeah, what's my age again? And that's time to be the age. in the legend of Zelda How old is Link And we're gonna do I don't actually I don't know what prices right rules are So I'm just gonna say

Wrong if you're wrong Okay I'm gonna say 16 Wrong Oh Higher low though Interesting I'm gonna say he's 20

Wrong ranch 14 Wrong he is 10 to 12 years old Ocarina of time So he's young Lincoln now And Zelda won. I don't know that stuff. We got two ages.

Young and old. Boy. I mean, I want to say like nine. Correct. Nine and 18. Correct. Nine and 16 to 19. Wow.

Okay. The Wind Waker, aka. He's a little kid in that one. Mm-hmm. I'll say eight. Wrong. 11? Wrong.

Ranch? 12 is correct. In the Wind Waker, he is 12 years old. Twilight Princess. He seems older there, but not old. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm going to say 42. Wrong.

Because I don't know how Heilian's age, you know? I'll tell you right now. Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and Breath of the Wild slash Tears of the Kingdom, link is the same age across all three games. Wow. Zelda timeline. is staggering.

Well, if you count, you should actually be that 100 years older. Well, that is a, that is an a, that is an asterisk on Breath of the Wild. The Zelda's,

I think are kind of like, um, I feel like links are maybe kind of like popes. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, the timeline you can't actually

make sense of. They're all kind of like their individualized games. Link is James Bond. Yeah, it's just kind of think of like, you know what, whatever.

He just kind of exists out of time. And so does Zelda. I'm going to say he's, so does Gannendorf. 24. Wrong. Ranch? 30.

Wrong. He is 17 on all three games. That sounds right. That's a really go-to gamer age. I think a video game character protagonist age, I believe, is Cloud is 17 in Final Fantasy 7. Young Cloud. But I like, I think I like, I think I prefer, quote unquote, adult link. I like him a little bit older because that means a little kid's not going out there having to fight.

Calamity Ganon. Yeah. I'm looking at the Zelda Canon and I might be back on Younglink because... You like more of the games? Yeah, I just like, you know, you got the Minish Cap,

which is a good one. But the big one for me is Majora's Mask, which, you know, Ocker at your time has both links, but it's just the Young Link and Majora's Mask. And that's a hell of a video game. you go. That's it for the question block.

Guys, thanks so much for writing in. Of course, that Discord again is Discord.g. G.g. Get played. That was a question block, and that's this week's Get Played. Our producers, Rochelle Chen, Ranch, twitch.tv. slash yard underscore underscore Sard. Our music is by Ben Prunty.

Ben Prunty. com. Our art is by Duck Brigade Design. Duck Brigade.com. Ranch, have you ever busted out your MTV cards on the stream? You ever ripped any packs or anything? I don't think so. I don't know if there's any

I have to assume there's magically gathering content not just MTG arena that you can find on on Twitch but I don't know that that might be an interesting interesting thing to explore I'll have a pack

Oh yeah Get played merch at kinshipgoods.com And there's a bonus episode every Wednesday on our Patreon get played DLC Matt What's up this week? We all saw the new documentary Oasis Don't Look Back in Anger

and we're going to talk about it, isn't it? Yeah. See, if we're looking back in anger at this doc, hopefully not. Hopefully not. We would have missed the message of the movie. They said, don't do that. Yeah.

Subscribe over at patreon.com slash get played. And Matt, I hope some games get played in your future. Oy, brough. That was a hate gum podcast.