Get Played - Games of 2026

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

Heather, Nick and Matt kick off 2026 by looking at the year ahead and discussing games they are excited for. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed For the month of January NEW subscribers to the patreon can get 20% either monthly or annual subscriptions to either tier with code PLAYED26 Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Handsome To save 10% off your first purchase Of a website or domain Five Five Four, three, two, one Happy New Year! Should all acquaintance be for a never run to-a-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-old. All right, everyone, it's 2026, a new year.

New Year's resolutions for gaming. Let's hear him. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. This is good. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to beat Final Fantasy 7 rebirth. I'm going to finish it in 20-26. I'm going to lock in. I'm going to finish that game. Better late than never. Yeah, you know what? I think I'm going to make a concerted effort this year to, instead of buying a new game just because it's new, finish the ones that I have. There it is.

Then when I get called to a new game, you know, make that choice when I get to it. Excellent. Excellent. I think for 2026, I'm going to quit. I'm going to quit gaming. You're going to quit gaming? Yeah, I think I'm going to, I think the hobby's over for me. What?

Do something else with my life? What are you talking about? What are you going to do? You guys are going to laugh No, we're not No, you're going to laugh Trust me, you're saying something We're not going to

Just tell us what it is It's a vulnerable place There's no danger of us laughing Ah well See, I've always had this dream To be better at baseball than Shohei Otani And I think it's time to try You only live once, right?

I'm just going to stop you right there Yeah. As a Dodger fan, as a fan of the game of baseball, the romantic sport. I think he could do it. Wow, really? I think he could do it. You got something that he doesn't got. Yeah.

What's that? Grit. Shohei Otani doesn't have grit? It's all easy. It's easy to him. It's easy. You could tell it's easy to him. This is what I needed.

Like, so here's it. I'm wasting all this time twiddling my joysticks, pressing buttons to make characters, collect resources, and, you know. kill virtual enemies when I could be out there on the diamond hitting dingers. Here's what is infuriating about Nick's self-determination in this moment. Yeah. There are two straight paths in front of us. One where he fails colossally, can't hit a ball, hurts his arms doing it, and looks like a fool.

There is also a maddening world where this motherfucker steps up to the plate and just keeps cracking them. Yeah. And the idea that that's possible because of his like fucking smirky build and his like, I don't know, lanky arms, that that is a reality is infuriating to me. Whether Nick likes to hear it or not,

Nick's very good at a lot of different things. It has a very skilled set. It is disgusting. It's good. It's exciting. It's because he's like, oh, I'm doing this now. And they're like, hey, that's great. You're actually good at that.

And it's not impossible that for the first time ever, the MLB will decide they want a man in his 40s playing baseball. The way in which this straight white dude just manages to ascend. That's the other thing he's got going for him. He's going to fucking do it. He's going to set his mind to it and he's going to be on the goddamn team. And you know what? I'm going to the games and I'm eating the fucking hot dogs.

Oh, here's the thing. I'm going to the games. I'm going to be there to watch my friend play baseball in the major league. Guys, just hearing that you believe in me means I have to try. Five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Year! We made it 2027. And Nick, thanks for having us out on your yacht that you bought from playing baseball.

Want to hold my World Series trophy again? Please, can I? Fucking hate this! He's so good! We look ahead at some games we're going to play, but mostly won't have time to play, as we preview 2026 in video gaming this week on Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played.

I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Tiger Wiger. That's me, Tiger Wiger, along with our third host, Mr. Games, Matt Apodaca. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone, and welcome to. 2026 Wow Err Err

Err Err Err Oh yeah Oh yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah So We thought Let's do another year Yeah Let's just keep This train Roll in here

I would like The years To stop Move forward Would you Like them To go

Backwards Like You want to like Benjamin Button reality. 1997.

Let's stop right there and stay at cruising altitude. Just loop in 97. Yeah, let's loop in 97. Are we, do we stay our current age or do we regress? Honestly, doesn't make a difference to me. I don't need to be the age I was in 97.

We just won't, we wouldn't be hanging out in 97. This is all I'm saying. I don't know. I don't think we're. I'm seven years old. There's no way you guys are hanging out with me. We're not hanging out now. What the difference?

What difference does it make? I'm free to hang out anytime. You guys ever want to do something? Just me, one-on-one, all three of us, all four of us? Can you imagine how awkward it would be if I called you? I'd have a great time. We'd have a blast. We had an outing.

I'd sweat through my shirt. We did great. We had a nice time. We had a pleasant time at our little outing. We had an outing? Well, we went to go to meet Kojima last year. Yes. We had a great time.

Was it mostly? Was that the thing we talked about the most? Yeah. Was meeting him? Will we? What's it going to be like? Right. Are you sure?

There was also a lot going on in Los Angeles that day in particular. Matt, I'll say this. I was a teenager in 1997 and I don't care if you were seven years old. I would have hung out with you. Hell yeah. We could have been friends. I would have annoyed your ass immediately. So kind of like today.

Here's why I think 97. You got Super Mario 64 has already been released. Yeah. Golden Eye has is being released. You've got Final Fantasy 7 is released. You've got, I mean, it's like a jacked year for games. You're still pre-Star Wars prequels, but also pre-the-Matrix. You are, in terms of, in terms of culture, I think a lot of people, like, there's a

people with nostalgia for early 2000s music, but I think a lot of people are like, oh, that was the era of, you know, there's a lot of new metal. I think there's maybe some there's maybe less nostalgia than for the 90s in terms of music Listen to this Listen to this

Golden Eye Final Fantasy 7 Castlevania Symphony of the Night Star Fox 64 Quake 2 Curse of Monkey Island Fallout Blade Runner Crash Bandicoot 2

Diddy Kong Racing Mega Man Legends Grand Theft Auto Final Fantasy Tactics Carmgaden Marmagedon Mortal Kombat Mythologies Turrock Dinosaur

Hunter, Yoshi's story, Mortal Kombat 4, Ultima Online, Tekken 3. I don't think Mortal Kombat Mythologies is known to be good. Yeah, I think that's maybe that one that felt charitable to be good in the world. Grand Terismo. Did I say Mortal Kombat Mythologies? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said it a second time. Street Fighter 3, new generation. Street Fighter 3 comes out in 97.

I mean like, but it's pre-third strike. Yeah, it's pre-third strike, but still. It's on strike one. So as far as I'm concerned. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Mortal Kombat Mythologies also came out there. Odd World Aves Odyssey. Hey, Abe's Odyssey.

Good game. Fuck, I'm naming good games. Mortal Kombat Mythologies. These are good games. I'll say this. However. Stacked year. 98, you get, I believe, half-life.

You get Ocarina of Time. There's some bangers in 1998. Yeah, I mean, we could do this all day. We do this all day. But I'm just saying, like, if you're going to establish. a specific threshold of like, oh, yeah, yeah, there are great games out then. Uh-uh, man. I think if you compare 97 and 96, 97 is, by a large measure, a better year for games.

You said 96. Do you not, and then 98? No, if I'm saying, I'm saying that if, if you look at individual years, there are some years that stand out. Yeah. And you are like, 98's a good year. And I'm like, sure, 96, not a great year. 97, maybe the sweet spot.

Is 2026 going to be a 90s that? or a 97 or 98. I think it's possible in 1997. I haven't even touched a video game, period. I'm surprised you didn't play some video games in 1997. 1998. I can't do anything unless my mom's doing it. Here he comes.

Here he comes. He's coming in hot. Legend of Zelda Akron of Time. Great game. Half-life. Great game. Metal Gear Solid. Great game.

Grim Fandango. Resident Evil 2. Starcraft. Panzer Dragoon saga. Great game. Banjoo Kazooi. Myth. The Dark Project.

Balders Gate. Crash Bandicoot warped Now that's what I'm talking about Mortal Kombat Mythologies They put it out again They just re-released it That's a good year This is a good year of video games

But I think you already ran pretty thin On the list as you were going down How did I run thin on the list? What are we talking about? 97 is a bigger year I think it's got tired of reading It's a bigger year It's a bigger year

And I think Occurine of Time Half Life Metal Gear Solve These are all timers Starcraft As far as size of year goes 1997 and 1998 are exactly the same. They're the same amount. But I think it's important to be talking about this because we're talking about the games of 2026 today.

That's right. And I think looking at the release schedule, this is a 1996 and it's not a 1997. I think 2025 was a stacked year for games. Yes. I think 26 looks a little thin. We've got to look at 1996 now because we did 97, 98, but we didn't do 96. You've got, you've got Super Mario 64, you've got fucking, what else? Probably you've got Suikeren?

Sweetin's 95. It is? Yeah. No, so you got one game. This particular list is organized alphabetically, so. That sucks. Yeah, this isn't super helpful. That fucking sucks.

Here, I'll read them. I'll read them. I got lists. I know how to make lists. Here we go. Super Mario 64, Duke Nukem 3D. Heather had it already. Donkey Kong 3.

I opened, you saw me open my laptop, is ready to go. It's just right there. Mario Card 64, Super Mario RPG, Tomb Raider, Pokemon, red, blue, and yellow, Street Fighter Alpha 2, Siv 2, Quake, Wave Race 64, Parapa the Rapper. When does the Emperor's New Groove game come out? Because that's when I'll probably be locked in. Nights into dreams.

Guys, I just, I think those are great games. 97's a better year. Yeah, 97 is fine, a better year than 90s. But it's not bigger. I can think you argue that 98 is bigger is better than 97. I think you could also say this. We're going to lay down a marker in the 20th century. Why not be like Prince and party like it's 1999?

Because in 1999, you get the Sega Dreamcast, 999. You get Soul Calibur. You also get Chrono Cross for PS1. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater for PS1. Unreal tournament, Super Mario Brothers Deluxe. Yeah, Homeworld, System Shock 2. Sid Myers Alpha Centauri great game Crash Team Racing

Pokemon Golden Silver Matt Sounds like a thinner year than 97 in me I disagree I don't know why Nick's mad at me I didn't do anything Final Fantasy 8 Yeah but 7 is better than 8

And 7 comes out in 97 8's no slouch famously 7 8 9 as well And don't forget 6 7 Donkey Kong 64 Shen Mu Look I'm not saying the Dreamcast Was bad

I saw a flyer for a Dreamcast rave today. EverQuest. Roller Coaster Tycoon. This world's all fucked up. I think you can rank years in gaming. And I think 97 is one of the best years in gaming. Is this what we're doing today?

We're not doing what we were doing. We're talking about the games. It's a good idea. We should write it down. We're not doing it, though. We should rank the 90s and then decide which decade we want to lock time in. For eternity. What year would we groundhog day for all time?

This sucks for me Well no But you get to be You choose whatever age you want to be You want to be a man You can be a man Okay I want to be eight in 1996 I straight up asked

Google what is the best year for video games And unfortunately it sides with Nick So here's what it says 98 Just like my brother said 2007 And 2018 And 2018 are consistently ranked

As the top contenders for games of the years of the years. Uh-huh. So in 98, you get Zelda O'Coreen of Time, Half-Life, StarCraft, Metal Gear Solid, Pokemon Red Blue, Banjo, Kazooin, Balderskate. In 2007, you get Bioshock, Super Mario Galaxy, Halo 3, Mass Effect, Call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare,

Portal, and Team Fortress 2. Mm-hmm. And then 2018, you get Red Dead Redemption 2, God of War, Marvel Spider-Man, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Monster Hunter, World. Celeste,

dead cells, and return of the Obra Dinn. So could be, could be, I don't know. Got some years. We got,

hey, that's something, that's true. We got some years. We got some years. Time is wild. Time's pretty crazy. Do you think we have

any listeners that were born in the 2010s? For sure, I don't want to know. For sure. I don't want to know. That's horrific to me. A teenage listener?

Yeah. Of course we do. We've got. about 10, 10 teenage listeners, I bet. Don't boys I know I have some teen listeners. That feels like it should be against the law. Not for them, for you. I'm excited to talk about next year in games.

I'm always looking forward. Yeah. Oh, it's the only way we can go. The ball just dropped. I mean, we're recording this episode a little bit ahead of time. So we can only forecast what a great year it's been. So far. Do you guys stay up for New Year's?

Have we ever talked about this? I don't think so. I stopped doing it a while ago. I fucking go to bed at eight. You go to bed at eight consistently? No, I go to bed. Actually, I go to bed at 9.30. 9.30.

Because I wake up at 5.30. Yeah. I, I usually go to bed, but here's the thing, like living in the city of angels. People love setting off them fireworks. Yeah. And it's not just of New Year's Eve. It's, you know, it's not just July 4th. It's like also anytime the Dodgers win.

Or the Lakers, which, as far as I understand, very rare recently. How dare you? I'm saying the Dodgers have been winning more recently than the Lakers. Yeah. It's true. It's true. But like, yeah, so you get, sometimes those fireworks are going off as it's like, well, it's just so loud in my apartment. I can't sleep, so I'll just stay up a little bit.

But yeah, generally I... Well, you also have Bamargera and all the stinky little friends breaking into your room and lighting fireworks in your room to wake your ass up, right? Get out of here, Rob himself. Rake. Leave me alone, Phil. Phil's in on it. Yeah, Phil's having fun. His dad's in on it.

Uncle Vito's back. He's uncanceled. And he's alive? Chugging Tabasco again? Matt, what about yourself? You know, last couple of years, I feel like last year I went to a friend's house,

my buddy Connor, went to his place, did midnight, but years before that was probably not going out because I think it's I'm nervous to be out on the roads Yeah

Big drunk driving holiday Oh 100% A drunk driving holiday Well people I guess more typically Would enter a vehicle Inneged and that's not something I'm trying to participate in I think it's also a lot of people

Who's like it's the one night They're really going to get drunk And maybe they don't quite know their limits You don't quite have a plan you know It's also the only night of the year that a Waymo is allowed to drink. That's true, yeah. They instead of putting, well, they're also,

they're famously electric, but there is a gas hole. Yeah. And they put, they'll put champagne in. Yeah, champagne and Kalua. Not a great mixer. No, and then, well, it's crazy, because then they get back to their little base, all the cars have diarrhea.

Well, yeah, because they stopped at Del Taco. They stopped at the Del Taco on the way home, but it's not the Del Taco that got them. It's the Kalua. It's the Kalua. Blue a champagne. Go straight through them. A straight curdling drink.

I feel like not last year, but maybe three years before that was just going to sleep at like nine. Yeah. And just calling it because I'm just like, what I'm going to stay up. Producer Rochelle Chen, ranch, what is your New Year's Eve routine? Do you stay up? Usually stay up, but in bed by 1230. Oh, okay. I like that.

Just over the hump. What's, I feel like you're a night owl anyway. You up late, typically, Ranch? I feel like this... Yeah. Usually up late, but also up early. Because Mark is a early bird. Mm-hmm.

I see, I see. So what you're just saying is you don't get enough sleep. Yeah. Head gums running you ragged. Well, I'm usually up... Oh, I guess I'm working, but I'm also doing other stuff. You're done with all of our stuff in an appropriate time, though. All of our stuff is you're done with it at an appropriate time.

And it's the other people that are making you work late. It's kind of what it is. What just happens? I understand. I also like doing other stuff. God damn it. Don't rope her in with your definition. Yeah.

It's not the same stuff every time. Happy New Year to us all. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Last year we rang in the year here in Los Angeles with some terrible fires. Yeah. And you were saying just a moment ago that it was the best year we've ever had. So I'm hoping that 26 is better than 25.

What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't say that. I said it was 1997 is the best year. No, no, no. You said every year since then has been better and better. Since what? No, I haven't. I think 99 is the move.

99 is the move. It's kind of the most fun. Well, you do get all of the games released previous to 99. Yeah. And you get the Dreamcast, new hardware. And you get the Matrix, which is just, then you get the Matrix. Like, come on. It's a bit of pop culture.

I'm not good. I said, it's fine. I like the Matrix. It's fine. It's the freaking Matrix. But you're saying it like it's your favorite movie of all time. It's pretty awesome. It might be up there.

It's a great movie. I'm not disparaging in any way the Matrix. What a delicate time too because you get the Matrix without the perceived baggage of any Matrix follow-up. And I like the Matrix sequels quite a bit actually. But you don't get the you just have a one and done. You're kind of like

this movie is a fucking masterpiece. You also don't have the Red Pill subreddit. I also like Well, fuck, then we can't do this. I like the era of tech also in 99. You've got mini disc players, you've got like Palm pilots so you have like computer technology that is portable. When's the

computer plastic clear and blue? 99. That's 99? Yeah, yeah. That's some good shit. So you've got great aesthetics in the Y2K aesthetic. You have the internet but it isn't like super

toxic yet it's a good year you know what nick you might have a point 99 you've got fight club at movie theaters phantom menace the matrix yeah wait did did that come out in 99 or was it 98 right pictures is 99 i'm pretty sure i think it was the same year as i think it was the same year as um phantom menace and phantom menace was 99 i was a little bit older to appreciate the matrix when it came out my whole life would just be different i just be a different guy. I saw The Matrix in Theatres and it did not change my life. I thought it was great.

I would go fucking nuts if I had seen it in theaters. Should we play the box office game? Yeah, what is that? Okay, the top ten, highest grossing films of 1999 domestically. Number 10 is... How is this a game if you're just going to tell us? No, I'm like, I'll give hints and then we can guess. Number 10 is a sequel to a...

a comedy cult hit that became a box office smash. Oh, Austin Powers 2, Spy Who Shag Me is number 10. Number 9 is the Academy Award winner for Best Picture, ultimately. Oh, shoot, I don't know this about it. It stars a canceled man who won Best Actor. Oh, it's American Beauty. That's right. American Beauty.

Number eight is a James Bond film, and this is one I've forgotten. It's after Golden Eyes. Oh, it's to die for digging. It's not to die for digging, no good guess. But it is not GoldenEye, right? So it's the one right after GoldenEye. No, it's not GoldenEye. It's after GoldenEye.

It's the one with Hallie Berry. What's it fucking called? It's the ice one. The ice one? Is this the ice one? Die another. It's not die another day. Tomorrow never dies.

The world is not enough. Yeah, would have forgotten that. I totally forgot that one. A great title. Number seven is a rom-com from Richard Curtis, Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant. Oh, it's my best friend's wedding. Not my best friend's wedding, the other one. Uh-oh, my suitcase.

Uh-oh, my suitcase released in the U.S. as Notting Hill. Notting Hill. Number six, Brendan Fraser. We love him. It's the mummy. Number five. We do love him, don't we? We do.

Everybody loves him. I remember watching a clip of him doing an interview for The Whale. and he was playing his Switch before and he was just really locked into it and didn't know the interview it started. Sorry, I was playing my Switch. Get him on the show. What was he playing on there?

I don't remember. It was an old, it was like a retro game that he was happening to be playing on Switch. I was hoping it was the whale game. It was the, yeah, it was, he was doing the Meatball Sub mini game. And he was hoping to get to the bonus jackoff round. Both just a lot of buttons.

mashing. Number five. I want to know, please show me. I want to know about these strangers like me. Is that Tarzan? It is Tarzan with a Phil Collins sound like. Some Phil Collins' bangers in there.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. The soundtrack is so good. The soundtrack is so fucking good. And isn't the lore that he was supposed to do Emperor's New Groove or something? and then because of delays or some shit, he wrote a couple songs for it and then they scrapped it

and then Tom Jones did one song for the movie. There are no songs The Emperor's New movie. No, it's not a musical. It's a fun movie though. It's great. It's really goofy. Spade's best performances. Number four, we already mentioned this.

The Matrix. That is The Matrix. Number three, a sequel to an animated franchise that has a new entry coming out next year. Toy Story 2. Number two. we didn't mention this one another great movie

what a twist hold on what kind of clue is we didn't mention this one and what a twist what a twist is a pretty good hint for this oh is it the six cents

it is the sixth sense yeah yeah yeah and number one the aforementioned Star Wars episode one the phantom menace made close to a billion dollars in 1999 money

that probably means like two billion dollars I imagine though this this may be this maybe includes some re-release. It's not that much more. After you hit a billion years kind of like, who gives a fuck kind of,

you know, like, what's it? Functionally, what is the difference between one billion and like 50 billion? Who cares? Best original song, Golden Globe, went to, You'll Be in My Heart from Tarzan. So there you go.

Those songs are so fucking good. Yeah. I've only seen Tarzan once. I saw it at the El Capitan Theater. Oh! Yeah, when it was new. Like I saw a little Matt Yeah

At the El Capitan he's nine years old Yeah And he's looking up and he's saying Is that gonna be me someday? I'm sort of like Can I have cum gutters like Tarzan? What the fuck? You're a child

Damn fucking When's that flap gonna show Lift up and show his hog? The flap was his hog He got mashed He was hit by a train He slammed into a tree He went Georgia the jungle

all right let's talk what are we doing let's talk what's a video game just on brandon fraser real quick yeah please brandon fraser is actually how to pronounce yeah yeah because he was georgia the jungle can you imagine having a body of work where your body is showcased so much and then so like when you get older you have like the exact moment you were like the most fit and hottest you've ever been and that everybody can see it that's amazing it's a kind of thing you wish like i wish i wish i could have gotten completely jacked for a movie when i was like 26 and then just have that like permanently on film. So now with my big fat ass,

I could look back and I used to be somebody. Sandler was saying, I saw a clip of Sandler recently saying that like he thought he was his best looking, I think in, well, when he was the youngest, Billy Madison. He was like, I think of that movie is important because I was like the hottest I've ever been.

Yeah. I was like, that's funny that you care about that. I like old man Sandler's look. I think he's a handsome guy still. Yeah. He is. Oh, I watched Jay Kelly over the weekend. Oh, don't, don't spoil it.

I won't spoil it, but he's great. I love a, uh, um, I wish it was about Jay Sherman. Who is that? The tanks guy? It stinks. The critic. Oh. Uh, yeah, yeah.

Or Jay Leno. Oh, boy. You see this, you hear about this? You saw the secret agent, uh, the Brazilian film. I got to see that. It's fucking good. I got to see it. It's really, it's really fun is the thing.

Like, I was expecting to be kind of like dreary and dower, like, uh, I'm still here is another movie that that detail deals with a similar, you know, also a Brazilian film then deals with a similar sort of political, you know, upheaval slash, you know, suppression of dissidents, people being disappeared, that sort of shit. So I assume because this is in thematic synthetically similar territory or be a similar sort of tone. But no, it's very, it's very playful. I got to see it. I really like that actor. Yeah. He's so good. Wagnarra. He's great. Hey, buddy, now that the holidays are over, you might be feeling like you've got a big spending hangover. The drinks, the holiday food, the gifts, it all adds up.

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auto-renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor. All right, let's talk about some video games in this video game podcast. Let's do it. The question for the room is usually what are you playing? But because we are recording this one in advance, we are going to look not to the future or the present, but the past. That's right. We're talking about some video games. We have played. It's what were you playing?

What were you playing? Hi, it's me baby resident evil merchant. I'm a little baby because we're in the past. And I'm go-go-go-God going down the same. seat in my little diaper and my little feet. Yeah, I noticed you put a diaper and a bonnet on over

your cloak. Yeah. I'm a little baby. Where? How did you get that over the trench coat? How is it even possible? It hurts. Oh, that sucks. It hurt a lot, but I got it on because I'm dedicated to

the show and you know what I'm bringing here in 2026? Blocks with letters on them. What? What is that? Babies like stuff like that. What, what is? Blocks with letters on them.

I don't know what that is. You ever seen up like a wooden block? Yeah, I know what that is. Some of them have letters on them. What? It's like a baby toy. What is? No, my.

Do you maybe still get those? I don't know. Do you still get like a block with an H on it? What the fuck is that for? What do you do with that thing? Babies can't even spell or read. I do think there's more, I think it's more like a sensory thing. Like maybe it's like a, you know, it's like an early development.

Tartile development. My wife is a speech pathologist. Okay. So, like, there's a lot of, like, every time we buy a gift for a baby, we buy the same gift, because every baby we get it for, it goes crazy for it. And it's, like, a sensory sort of book. And it's, like, a thin little book. It doesn't have words on it or anything, but it's like, uh, it'll have, like, different textures and different, like, it'll be soft or like...

Yeah, crunch. Yeah, it'll be stuff like that. Oh, no squeak. Because, like, each page has, like, a different thing going on for it. That sounds fun as fuck. Here's the thing? It's fucking awesome. Everybody, everybody leads it.

Tactile book. Yeah. And then you can say, like, oh, like go to like the, you know, like the kitty page. You know, have like a kitty's tail or something, like a dragon's tail or something like that. And then you touch the tail and you're like, this one's different than that one. It's good. Pretty good. Yeah.

It's really fun. I like that one and the one that says, this animal says roo. Yeah. That one's good. This animal says hunk. Kids love stuff like that. They like to know what kind of sounds animals make. Yeah.

And the sounds that. vehicles make. Mostly beep, beep, boom, vroom. I like knowing the Anamotapia in other languages. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, instead of, like, I think in Spanish instead of, what is the rooster thing? In Cockcadood, it's Cockcdoodle-Doodle-Doo, but then it's...

It's like Kikikiri-Ki or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that. Yeah, it's cool. I like in Japanese, the heartbeat is dokey-doki-doki. That is good. You didn't know that. Docky-dokey-d-d-l-pany. Wow, like dokey-d-d-pany panic.

Dum-thum dokey, dokey. And Literature Club. That's right. Yeah, it's a good one to know. I don't have one. Very. I appreciate the cosplay Resident Evil Merchant, considering this is an audio medium. So it's just for us in the studio, but you look great.

I'm dedicated to bringing this show up a level in 2026. Wow. So I'm going to bring the heat. Okay. I'm wearing a diaper and a bonnet. I shit my pants on the way over. I'm ready to go. So that just means you just shit your pants.

your actual pants under your trench coat. You've got a... Hey, Resident Evil Merchant? Can I tell you? Yeah. That fucking sucks. Really, really vile and disgusting. It stinks.

Because I also know you're not changing those pants. No. You already kind of come in with the stench. So then when you add shit on it, it's like that stench plus shit. I'm ashamed. No, don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed, baby, Reson Eagle Merchant.

You didn't see his face. His face looked so. so sad when you said that. I fucked up. I was trying to bring it. I was trying to bring the heat. And I fucked up and I'm a shit.

I also just, I have to say, it's fine that you are a diaper. Nick wears a diaper every week. It's not special. Shh. So, all right. Baby resident evil merchie wants to know. What were you playing?

Madabodaka. Goo-Goo-Gaga. So we decided, Matt, just to get to table set here a little bit, because we're in 2026, this episode is releasing, we'd look back 10 years hence, 10 years prior to 2016, which was another great year for video games. A great year for video games, I think maybe culturally not a great year, which guess what? They're never going to be again. But 2016, I have a very distinct memories of playing quite a few games. It's where I discovered the game inside, one of my favorite games. I really love that game.

The last 3DS game I purchased, Pokemon Sun, because at that time, Switch is already out, I believe, right? Jesus Christ. So, like, 2017 is the Switch. So it's probably, like, I got that game and then was eagerly anticipating the Switch. And then there was a big game that came out that I'm not playing in. anymore, but I was very into when it came out. Pokemon Go. I remember getting a text from past guest, Forever Friend, Jacob Wysaki,

texting me, there's a Dutini nest at Barnesdall Park, a local park over here. Do you want to come with me right now? And I left my sketch group meeting and went and caught Dretini's with my buddy, and we had a great day. Wow. It was a lot of fun. I'm trying to remember what else came out that year. I mean, there's so many games came out at that time

that I hadn't started, of course, with Persona 5 and others. But I feel like those were the big ones that I was really into at that time. Wow. I think I was quoted on this show once as saying that the summer of 2016 was the end of American Empire.

Yeah. Start of a new one. I do feel like that summer with Pokemon Go was astonishing. I was going to say, Santa Monica, catch water Pokemon. The place that I never deigned to go on purpose. Yeah, and they're also

correspondent, which I mentioned before when we did a Pokemon Go episode with the light rail, the E-line, back then the Expo line, which extends all the way to the ocean, like in the movie Her, we have a train that goes to the ocean now in the U.S. or in

in L.A. But it goes from downtown to Santa Monica beach. And I was riding that train. I was riding that bad boy taking advantage of it as a public transit enthusiast. And there were people playing Pokemon Go all the time. I was one of those people on that specific train because I worked in Santa Monica that year and I was taking the Expo line all the way to Santa Monica and catching Pokemon at each of the

stops along the way at each of the station. Your office was on the top of the Ferris wheel, right? Yeah. Yeah. Or sometimes the bottom. Okay. Or sometimes the top. Or sometimes the bottom.

I remember the other game that I was really into. this game called Oxen Free. Oh, sure. Oxen Free, really fun, sort of like narrative, not necessarily like point and click, but it sort of evokes that type of thing where you're kind of going around this one map of this, like, sort of abandoned camp ground

and sort of reliving memories and hearing ghosts and things like that. I really love that one. And bought Oxen Free too when it came out, I think two years ago and haven't touched it. Wow. I guess I'll just go Because I was kind of

What were you playing in 2016? I was stepping on your on your Pokemon No no no we were sharing It's weird because 2016 Does both feels like an eternity ago And not that long ago But when I hear 10 years ago this year

Yeah when I hear that it's 10 years ago I feel like I'm gonna puke In part because Pokemon Go doesn't feel like it was that old But persona 5 definitely doesn't feel like it was that old No I will say I believe persona 5 actually came out in North America in 1990

I think it came out a year later. I think that was just the Japanese release. But also, I think all of us got to it later. Yeah, we got to the royal. Yeah, didn't play. No, but I tapped in on persona when it was released. Oh, that's right. Yes, yes, yes.

And then tapped out and then returned to it a million times since then. The big game for me that year was Final Fantasy 15. And as my most recent, most favorite Final Fantasy, that isn't my actual favorite, but could be my favorite. That was an incredible year for me just because of how wonderful it was to hang out with my boys and go camping in that game.

Like, I loved it. I bought all the camping equipment. It was like a personality-defining game for me in 2016. Yeah. And I have been sort of chasing that high in subsequent releases since. Dark Souls 3 also comes out in 2016, played that. Didn't beat it, bounced off of it?

Yeah, I would say the big, the big title for me in 2016 is Final Fantasy 15. Nick, what about you? Shout out to a past guest and listener, Date Everything's Ray Chase, the Final Fantasy 15. That's right. English voice of Noctus, of course. Yep. But, uh, seemed a little unenthusized by that.

Yeah, great. Good. Good job, Ray. It is crazy That is wild It's crazy Yeah I can't

Sometimes I'm like Why would Why would people ever come On our show? I don't understand it But But here in 2026 We're gonna have guess

We're gonna have guess Yeah we're gonna have guess Yeah we're gonna First we're getting Brandon Fraser to tell us What he was playing on his story Oh my guy I'd love to chop it up with Brendan Fraser

We're gonna have We're gonna have We're gonna have David de Coveney drop in He's gonna talk to us About Some video games he liked I used to

You know, I used to be at a gym in Santa Monica and David DeCoveney would work out there. He was in great shape. Yeah. Look like a million bucks. He's fucking hot as hell. You're kidding me? You're fucking trainer with him, just banging out, pull-ups.

Like, Jesus, fucking Christ. Because, like, 15 years older than me. I mean, he could probably kick her ass, probably not. Probably beat the shit out of me. I love every second. Thanks, Mulder. He's Molder, right? Yeah, he's older.

Okay. I haven't really seen it. Was there an X-Files game? There's got to be. There's tons, aren't there? I'm trying to remember this specifically. Isn't there a PlayStation 1? Yeah, I think there's X-Files games.

Anyway, we're not talking about the X-Files games. We're talking about, or David Dukhany coming on the podcast, we are talking about games of 2016 and what I was playing. The big game for me that year was Stardue Valley. That came out and Concerned Ape's, you know, solo dev effort, which is just an absolute masterpiece, such a staggering accomplishment by a genius. and I played the shit out of it and I loved it

and that's a game I will still return to I feel like every time I get a new piece of hardware or you know the last few times when I just built my new PC I was like first thing I want to do is boot up Stardue Valley on it just for the familiarity of it but the game I want to talk about since I've talked about Star Dew Valley at length

including when we had Heather your mom on the podcast I want to talk about darkest dungeon which came out in 2016 This was a game from Red Hook Studios that was in early access but got final release in 2016, official release. It is Love Crafty and Grim Dark Fantasy, a rogue-like dungeon crawler where you recruit a party of adventurers, but then you have to replace them because they'll be perma killed or driven mad by what they're having to experience going into these horrific environments. It's got really cool character classes that just like give it this aesthetic quality that are just, stink from a lot of other RPGs.

For instance, like, hound master, who's just a guy with, like, a dog. Leper, who, like, has, like, a fucking mask on. He's just, like, a big buff guy. Oh, cool. You know, it's, like, the leper king. It's like, you know, it's like, it's like, like, Kingdom of Heaven. Is that the way? That's the name of the movie?

Is that the Ridley Scott movie? Yeah. Yeah. There's, uh, there's an antiquarian who just, like, it has, like, combat disadvantages, but because it's a game that's so much about discovering treasure and loot is someone who has advantages at doing that. And then there's like a plague doctor who just has a big plague mask.

It's just got this kind of cool look to everything and everything's just like a little different from the standard sort of template you've seen in other sort of fantasy tabloes. Your heroes also have positive and negative quirks and can develop new ones as they adventure, which is part of the role-playing aspect of it and part of you

as your party develops as they advance and experience. But they can also like their overall quality can change meaning their inherent quality but also their quality as useful party members.

For instance, something like Eagle Eye, which is just like you're more accurate, but also like gambler, which means they'll go compulsively go to the gambling hall. Imposter syndrome, they'll sometimes just get like frozen in an action in the middle of a, in the middle of combat. Uh-oh, don't need that in the game for me.

Or a necromania, which they'll just like, they're obsessed with corpses. So if there's something dead, they'll just like, you know, wanted to file it like the loathsome dung eater and so there's just like

all this sort of shit is happening you can do things where it's also got the gameplay like the Stardue Valley minds Affirmation Stardue Valley where it's up to you how far you want to push things before you hit your limit like you have to kind of choose when I'm going to opt out I'm going to see it all the way

to the end shit I'm like almost out of resources there's a chance that I could get my party wiped but if I push on a little but further, I can, you know, maybe take out this boss and then I can really have, feel like I had a successful run here. And coupled with that is this narration, which I wish I had the name of the actor in front of me. I should have looked it up. But it's like this really great performance, which adds overall color to it. It's kind of like, like as far as a narrator

affecting your gameplay experience, not as not as much, not as all encompassing and not as like, you know, broad as what's in Disco Elysium. But, you know, the narrator in Disco Elysium is like such a huge part of that experience. So the narrator, the narrator in Darkest Dungeon will just be like, greed is an insidious force. Like, you know, it's just kind of like always throwing out quips like that. That's just really, really fun. So thematically, and this is one thing I like about this game because it, like a lot of things is ultimately about capitalism.

You learn the way to minmax the game is to treat your heroes as disposable. So, you know, as you're taking like your adventure down, let's, again, let's say you have a hound master, you're taking him down, he's getting more reps, he's getting more experience, but also he's developing more quirks, he's accumulating more stress, there's more resources you have to invest in maintaining his sanity. What you'll find is, it's more efficient, just cut them. Just be like, you're out of here. You're fucking losing it, man.

Hit the fucking road. You're insane. You're a veteran with PTSD. Go out on the street, and I'm going to get someone else. It's really fucking dark. and but I mean that's part of like what's what's kind of cool about it is that it's just like you know you're just you're just learning that that kind of kind of the way that they that the military itself sort of operates like these people are there these are body these are either

future corpses or uh once they've outlived their usefulness uh they're they're on their own um so replace like a like a liability run where you're just like everybody in my party's just fucking borked like i'm sure that people who do challenge runs to see just how fucked up How many negative quirks they can do to try to get their way through it. But the game's also got a pretty punishingly high difficulty level. And, you know, there's ways you can rehab your heroes. You take them to, like, the Penance Hall and they self-flagellate or the cloister and they pray or whatever the fuck to get rid of some of these dark thoughts and the stress. Fucked up.

Yeah, it's great. Anyway, the thing, speaking of the difficulty level, the end game gets a bit ponderous. And that's the one mark I have against this game is I think it's almost like a game. that you could, I really enjoy the first 80% of and then by the end I'm just like, oh, can we just get this thing over with? Because you have to go through the titular Darkest Dungeon, I believe four different times.

And each time you need a new set of heroes. So it's like you need to get a bunch of max level heroes. And it's just a lot of grinding to get there and get the way through it. For some reason, they changed things up a lot in the sequel. I never really played the sequel because they just heard such kind of negative feedback

in terms of how they, from the community in terms of all the, the changes they made. It's a pretty distinct design. But I really like the original and it was really enjoying the shit out of it in 2016, playing it on PC.

Other games of 2016 that we haven't touched on, but I'll just throw some of these ones out there. Overwatch, not a game for me, but I know a very impactful game from there. Uncharted 4, Thiefs End, Doom, the Doom reboot. Inside you mentioned,

Dark Souls 3, Titan Fall 2, The Witness, Battlefield 1, Firewatch, also Dishard 2, and The Last Guardian and another game

I put a lot of time into that year Civilization 6. Was the witness the Jonathan Blow game? Yes. No, I played that for a little bit too.

Yeah, yeah. I played Titanfall 2 a little bit at, like, way later, like within the last couple of years. Yeah. And that game fucking rips.

That's one of those games it was fucking so good. Yeah, everyone says is just like an incredible campaign and I just never got around to playing it. You can run, you can wall run in a meck.

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app that actually works. Babel has over 25 million subscriptions sold worldwide. And with 14 languages to choose from, every course comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 55% off your Babble subscription at babble.com forward slash played. Get 55% off babble.com forward slash played. Spelled B-A-B-B-B-E-L dot com forward slash played. and restrictions may apply. All right, let's look ahead to this year, I guess, next year as of this recording, this year as of this release.

Yeah. The Games of 2026. First of, was there anything we missed in 2025 that we still plan to return to? And I'll let you all think for a second because I have a couple of answers. One is, I love the original Citizen Sleeper, but I didn't really get to play Citizen Sleeper 2, Starward Vector, that came out in 2025. I'm definitely planning to go back to that.

Another one, this, the ND narrative game south of midnight. I heard a lot of really good things about and I hope to eventually have time for that. Yeah, I, as of press time, I still have not rolled credits on Ghost of Yote, but I'm getting close and still have not rolled credits on Silk Song, and I would like to wrap those up.

but as far as other games too I mean I'd like to dig in more on on Metroid Prime 4 beyond that seems like it could be fun to do but then you know after having seen Avatar Fire and Ash I'm trying to I'm trying to return to Pandora

and play Frontiers of Pandora especially with the new expansion because they just added third person mode and that's all I've wanted That's all I've wanted this whole time. How'd you feel about Fire and Ash? I thought it was fine. Okay.

I enjoyed lots of it. No way of water? The thing that... Okay, hold on a second. I'm not going to say too much about it. Yeah, sure. James Cameron's never done this before. He's done sequels.

He's never done a third. Yeah. Okay. Wow. I still cannot believe these movies exist. and while I'm watching them I can't believe that they're not fucking real

that this isn't actual stuff that's happening in front of my eyes because it's mind-blowingly gorgeous every time I'm looking at it there is a single performance it's okay without saying too much there are two performances that stand out

on both ends of the spectrum wow one unbelievable absolutely just incredible the villain's performance is amazing There's one performance, I won't shout, I won't say who. One of the worst performances ever committed to Phil. Oh, wow.

Wow. Awful, awful, awful, awful. Well, I would say more about it, but as it record, I haven't seen it until next weekend. Here's the thing. I'm going to see it again. I got to get it on IMAX. The game that I haven't played yet that I hope to play as Ark Raiders. Oh, yes.

I've heard so much about it. it. It's making a dent on my socials. And any time a game permeates my social media presence, which is largely lurking. So I let the things come to me. Yes. It shines a light on the thing. And that and the people in the Discord who are passionate about us playing the game, I would like to put in some time on Arc Raiders. Other than that, I'm still, you know, hoping to finish Final Fantasy 7 rebirth and that is not a game from 2025. So is there a future where there are games from 2025 that I dip into and I'm like, oh, man, I can't believe I miss this like Assassin's Creed?

Maybe. Yeah, yeah. I'm just remembering too. I have yet to start dispatch. But I know that over the holiday break, let's call it, I'll. have spent time with that. I'm just going to spend the... You know what I spent previously the holiday break doing

since this is releasing in 2026? Yeah. I just ate tacos the entire time. That sounds great. Wow. Yeah, crunchy tacos. Crunchy, huh? I had crunchy tacos the whole time every day.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, crunchy tacos. That's a lot. Crunchy egg taco for lunch? Breakfast. The egg crunchy? Well, yeah, because it's got shell in it. Yeah, egg crunchy. Crunchy egg taco for lunch

Crunchy egg taco for No one of the last time's Just egg taco One of the last times I did doughboys Was the egg taco from Taco Bell Right Yeah must have been

Fucking disgusting God damn it We did cold stone That's right You did Oh yeah yeah that's right That's right Comilating experience

A taco Doing the show is always A delight Got to talk to Mitch Egg taco Okay notably excluded one of the hosts there

Amelia and Emma the best we'll get played back on Do Boys in early 2020 I just remember the ordering being a debacle

Yes right Can I have the three Nintendo flavors Oh boy Some 16 year old like

Brimley making your order And it's just too much ice cream to order For one man by yourself He just lowers the cup To his waist And stares at you Can't you

a hot cup of urine. It's like, there you go, buddy. Me? Is this Nintendo flavor? So, 2026, I guess the big game that everybody is going to ask, is it actually happening, is Grand Theft Auto 6? Initially proposed for May of 2026, then pushed back to November of 20206. That's after significant delays that had brought it into 2025.

I'm going to put some money down. Money, huh? Yeah. The price, I'm going to bet the price of a copy of Grand Theft Auto 6. Okay. That it does not come out in 2026. This is kind of a tough bet. Yeah. Because there's only two sides and there are three of us.

Okay. And that's all I have to say. Basically, I'm saying, I'm so certain that it is not coming out in 2026 that if it does, I will buy you each your copies. Okay. If it doesn't, you buy me my copy in 2027. How's that sound? Sure. I don't understand, but whatever happens, I'm fine with it.

No, I'm in. I'm fucking in. If I have to buy you on, I'll buy you on. Great. We're not both buying you. I'm feeling confident that I'm going to get this game for free when it releases on time November 19, 2026. Really? Yeah.

I think it's kind of, I mean, I think at this point it's just going to come out. Wow. I really do. I think that I think it's on track. Good or bad? Like, I mean, well, good or bad is not their question, right? Polished or unpolished? Because the game is going to be whatever.

the game is, and those games are all pretty good. I feel like they're all really, like, they're really locked in a formula, they're good games. It's going to be a fucking sushi eating mini game. Yeah. Like, it's going to be everything. It's going to be the everything game. You do think it's coming out in November.

Yeah, I do. I think they got, they bought themselves another six months, but they're still making the holiday window of 2026. Wow. Which is still so huge for an industry that fundamentally views itself as part of the toy industry. Yeah. And so, like, it is a, I really think they're going to do it.

Because, I do think, because there's been two significant delays, right? It's been delayed out. I think if I remember correctly, it was supposed to come out, like end of 2024, was that right? Yeah. And then got pushed into 2025 and then out of 2025. Yeah, into 2026 and then again, in the late 2026. So I think another delay, people will just, people will be done with it.

I don't think this is a Duke Nukem forever situation. I think they have confidence that they can release it. Yeah, but they, but they just wanted to give themselves ample time because why, like, why bother rushing? Every day that they push that game back, Fortnite eats their lunch. Because, like, at this point, Fortnite is just, as of record, Kim Kardashian is in Fortnite. Like, it's the everything game. So the longer you let these persistent system world games, these persistent games exist, the more they suck up the air in the room from the other ones. And I think that that is notable in that Fortnite won the game award for, you know, perpetual game this year.

Yeah. I do think that like, I wonder if the thing that they're really stuck on is what to do about GTA online. The existing Grand Theft Auto Online. Yes. Which is such a cash cow for them still. It's like they can't end that. But the new one has to be good to either pull. every single player over or create a new player base.

I wonder if they're going to do like an automatic account migration thing. Yeah. Where you have both? Yeah, everything you had in five, you automatically get in six. Yeah, because that's going to, I mean, that's the thing that they are planning for. Like that's the game, that's the release for them, I feel like. The game, the base game is like the base game and it's going to be great, I'm sure. Was five released on PlayStation 3?

Yes, yeah. It's that fucking old. Yeah, I owned it on PlayStation 3. Yeah. That ended up PS4 when it was new. Holy shit. It's insane how long that thing has been going. Yeah, and I think it's great.

I think all those games, like, all those games are so fun and so great. And for, you know, how they, you know, whatever you think about the stories of them, I think they're so fun to the characters. They just added a Michael D.L.C. to Grant Thoth Auto online. So there's, like, story missions with Michael from five, 12 years later. and he's older. Wow. And that's like,

I don't know, that's interesting. If the game was more of that type of thing, instead of, you know, running around and getting shot while I'm trying to put up a, you know,

a version of Hamlet in the game, I'm looking forward to it. I actually am like, I've talked about losing the hype a little bit, but when that game comes out, every other game needs to get out of its way. Yeah. Because that's like the game

that, like, I think people are just going to be playing. It's going to be so good. Yep. To be able to choose your laces in your shoes. Yeah, yeah. Be able to choose whether to tuck or untug your shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll be at your character's birth. And if they have a penis, you'll get to circumcise it. Or not. You're going to spend, like, given how the. how the, like, transactions at the counters worked in Red Dead Redemption. In Grand Theft Auto6, you're going to spend a full real-time half-hour getting dressed. You'll be able to go to a convenience store and pick the more full bag of chips. Actually, this catererates colder.

I wonder if they're going to have a hunger meter where it's like you have to, like, eat food over the course of the day. So you have to also go grocery shopping. It would be funny if they, like, because you know, you can create like a status condition in like a video game where somebody's paralyzed. Sure.

But it just means they can't use their, uh, their moves or something or they're poisoned. These games should have status conditions where you like have to piss or like have to shit or something. Or like you're like upset. Like you're thinking about something else that's bothering you.

You can't do the thing you're supposed to do. When I worked in game dev, this is one of those things that you encounter and the TV and film side of the industry as well, the entertainment industry as well, which is that sometimes like an executive in a powerful position will have an idea and we'll just make people do it. So an executive at Activision was really into the show Survivor Man, which Survivor Man kind of a predecessor of alone, but it was just one guy. And it was like he was alone in the wilderness.

I think he was filming himself. And it was just like really hardcore survivalist stuff as opposed to something like Survivor that's a little more gamified and fictionalized. Anyway, the like this executive was like I want like a hardcore survival game I want to like really be like like not just like you know this abstract thing I want to really be uh you know it survive like like about survival and I was like what that would really be and I was like it like it was like a very small team was like a half dozen people I was the design lead on it was me one other designer and then we had um I think three artists or one program was a very very small team that was just assembled to put to cobble this thing together. So we put together like a very short tech demo, a very brief, just sort of sandbox version of this. But I was like, this guy said hardcore, so I'm going for it. So we included, so I included that your character would accumulate hunger, but also as they consumed liquids, they would eventually have to urinate. And as they ate, they would eventually have to shit. Like, I had to include all this stuff.

And it also is part of the pitch who were showing this off. It was also like, and if you're a female character, there would be times when you'll menstruate and you'll have to account for that. that'll affect your hydration, everything. And I'm saying this, all this guy's guys, like, whoa, I don't want any of this. No, I want you, like, you can pick up rocks and you can build a fort. I'm just like, you know, like a survival game? You're all like Minecraft? That's so funny.

It's my dumb ass taking this guy, this dumbass execs thing at face value. That's the problem. You're like, oh, I thought you meant what you said. I think I'd remember that you're dumb. and they're not what you say you want, but what I think that you want. All of those things are going to be in Grand Theft Auto 6.

Yes, I hope so. I have to say this now because there won't be a time to say it again. Okay. If Jeff Probst was in Death Stranding, his name would be Jeff Survivor Man. That's it. I'm glad you came back to that.

Let's talk about some other games we're looking forward to, huh? Okay. So I do have a list here. Well, this is, Not necessarily a game, but this is hardware that I'm excited about. The Steam Machine and the Steam Frame. Oh. The new VR headset from Valve and, of course, the console from Valve.

Look, I just know it's not going to be for everybody. But if the thing that's true, we won't know yet. It's supposed to come out, I think, early 2026. So as of this release, it could have been announced when it was going to, you know, when pre-orders are available. and the thing that's rumored to be a part of this announcement is the reveal of Half-Life 3 also, which who knows if that's even real or not?

Yeah? I bet we're going to get Half-Life 3 at some point. It's just, I feel like there's... Why not? I think we're going to get it. Yeah, no, I think they're going to do it. Are they really not going to do it? I think they'll do it.

It's just they're valve there and said they don't have to make anything, so they're just taking their sweet sign. Software launching with hardware like that. is interesting and good. Yeah. And I, you know, I have a PC. I have a steam deck. Something about the steam, this, this, the steam machine is, is, is, is cool to me.

I like the idea of having something like that. They are, they are patiently building an ecosystem. Yeah. Which is not building. The ecosystems established. Yes. But they are patiently executing on this long term plan in a way that reminds me of Netflix where like for the longest time Netflix is a company that has the title Netflix but only

services in tangible goods. Yeah. And they're like our goal is this, our goal is this, but they're still mailing DVDs in 2008, 2010, 2014, right? I feel like Steam and the rollout of the steam deck, the rollout of their first VR helmet, like all of these things are the index, the index, yeah. are a slow migration to an end goal, which I think is... Buying Nintendo? Yeah, console dominance. Yeah. You know, it's a pretty...

I get what you're saying in terms of Netflix in terms of its ubiquity, but I think like Netflix is kind of a force for evil, whereas I think Steam has been a force for good. And I think things like the, you know, not that any corporation is benevolent, but I do feel like I kind of trust the motives of Valve a little bit more than the Netflix corporation. and Ted Sarandos. But all that said, you know, the Steam storefront, digital storefront has absolutely been a huge net good for gamers. I believe the Steam deck has been a net good for gamers and for gaming and for development.

I love this team deck. It's cool. And I think the Steam machine will as well. And I think part of what I like about what I, it gives me optimism about the Steam machine is, again, just more competition. The console space is great to Heather's point. But also it uses Steam OS. We're again like severing, you know, the.

reliance on Windows and it's kind of I don't know I mean like just giving people another avenue to game beyond like building a PC and a way to get games that maybe are going to be uh you know like what like there's stuff you can play on the steam deck that you can't play on a switch too you know and so it's just kind of nice that people are have access to a different library so I'm just like I'm super stoked about that I'm eagerly waiting for the announcement uh and even I'm VR skeptical honestly Like, I'm not 100% Yeah, look, I have the Quest 2, but it might just be like

That I have the Quest 2 I'm pretty sure you already bought a VR helmet for next year For this year, 2026. Oh, well, I did I did buy the, you know, Oh my God, I can't believe I'm saying this out loud I did pre-order the virtual boy accessory for a Switch 2 Let's go!

Yeah, I did do that. Now, will I ever touch it? A hundred percent, you will. You're going to play that shit day one. It's going to come in the mail, and you're going to be like, oh, my God, and you're going to dig it out of the box, and you're going to slam your switch into it, and then you're going to have a good fucking time. I already know exactly what I'm going to do to it. I'm going to present it the same way you presented it to us, to my wife, and make her mad. As the person who beat, one of the games I beat, one of the games I beat.

beat this year was Wario for the virtual boy. I am excited. I'm excited to see how it looks and I just think I think stuff like that is cool. I like that Nintendo's doing weird stuff. It is one of my most anticipated things of 2026 is

is there a world where they're going to release a new virtual boy game? No. Are you sure? Heather. Are you sure? As sure as I'm am that Grand The Votto 6 is coming out when it's coming out there's no way on earth

they're making a new virtual boy game. I'm not new an unreleased game a one that they just like had yeah one that didn't make it what do you I'll take that bet I think we got we got our bet here what's the bet you're betting the Grand Theft Auto 6 won't

come out on time yeah and that there will be a new virtual boy game an unreleased Unreleased virtual boy game hits the virtual boy story like new doesn't matter if it's like a newly not previously released yeah new is what will say, though. Matt is betting that Grand Theft Auto 6 will come out on time and there won't be a virtual boy, a new virtual boy game. And I am betting that Grand Theft Auto 6 will come out

on time and there will be a new virtual game. And Heather's bet will be that it's not coming out on time and there will be a new virtual game. So all three of those things are different. They're all mutually exclusive. What is, how does betting work? So the two people who lose the bet buys Grand Theft Auto for the final player. Okay. Why don't we just making another like game we're going to talk about in the show, like another three. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Then I'm going to reevaluate some stuff. Yeah. I can't be staying

stupid shit like this. To borrow a phrase, it's giving saying that the Nintendo Switch 2 is coming out July 4. I do like the idea of a year-long bet where we make a bet that ends in the determining factor of somebody

getting to choose a game that the other people play. But if we're doing that, then I want to, like, actually buckle down and say some, like, real shit. I think there'll be... There'll be another way to sort that out. As far as games coming out that are coming out, look, Resident Evil Requiem kind of looks fucking awesome. Yeah.

That's a cool. I haven't played... The only Resident Evil game I've played is Resident Evil 4, and the Resident Evil 4 remake, and the Resident Evil 4 VR version. Leon's back in Requiem Yep And that kind of seems like As good as chance as any To kind of get back in there

And see what my boy's been up to Yep Yeah Has he been in any of the other games? I have no fucking idea It's been Chris And then some other guy I don't know

I think it's his first time being back It might be And he looks good Look No game makes me want a pizza More than Resident Evil games And so what? Because you eat pizza when you were playing?

I eat pizza when I play Resident Evil games So talking about thinking about Resident Evil games makes me hungry for pizza. Okay. And when I see the trailer for Requiem, I'm like, that is a pizza eating game. Now that's a spicy pizza. That's a spicy pizza. Well, how did the association of pizza and Resident

Evil first develop? I'll tell you how. Because the pizza in Silent Hill 2, undesirable. It's because of our former co-performer Jim Woods. Yes. And I lived in Amsterdam together. Resident Evil

came out. Resident Evil 4 came out, and we would play Resident Evil 4 and eat pizza on the weekends when we had our time off and beat that game together. And from that point forward, I couldn't play Resident Evil games without eating pizza. Wow. Wow. We also had the best ever Domino's Pizza was available in

Amsterdam. I've talked about it on the show before. Yeah, the peanut butter pizza. It's called the fucking double decker. It had a soft crust, sauce cheese, crunchy crust, sauce cheese. two different kinds of cheeses. Crunch, then soft. It was amazing. The Netherlands, do normal food challenge, 2026.

Do something normal. Can't talk about a game I might be lightly interested in? One of the games I'm looking forward to in 2026 is Dragon Quest 7 Reimagined. This one's also on my list. Let's talk about it. You got this. isometric 2D 3D game

where you're revisiting the world of Dragon Quest 7 and look I like a Dragon Quest game they got a good feeling and this one's got a good feeling for a good feeling

so I'm super excited about it I'm looking forward to to playing it and it looks like for me the perfect Switch 2 game yeah that's going to be a lot of fun on Switch 2 for sure here's what I'll say I like I never really spent time with Dragon Quest 7 on PS1, partly because it was just sort of everything I heard is that the pacing was kind of ponderous.

And for when it came out, came out, what year did it come out? 2000 originally, it looked pretty dated at the time. Like it was one of those games that had a, you know, it has nice art direction, but just like from a technical standpoint, it felt a little bit long in the tooth coming out at the start the 21st century. So I never actually got into it. And also that everything I've heard about it is that it's just got like, you know, it's like a hundred hours. It's so fucking long. It's so meaty. But I love Dragon Quest 11. I had so much fun with it. I thought it was such a, such a great design, such a charming world. And I think from what I've read about the development of

Dragon Quest 7 reimagined is they've put a lot of thought into really reworking the pacing of it, really taking out some of the dead chunks, some of the bloat, and making it a much more playable experience. It's one of those wild things where you read about and the development lead is someone who played Dragon Quest 7 as a kid and was like, this was a...

Yeah, I remember I played Dragon Quest 7. Like, I loved it, but it had all these problems and now I'm having the opportunity to go back and fix it. And I always just love things like that when it's just like, again, it's like... It's like JJ directing Star Wars. It's like JJ directing Star Wars.

I was going to say Dave Filoni, actually. Like someone who's like an enthusiast for it So they have a bunch of love for it But they also have a new perspective That they're bringing to it It's like that guy who won like the NASCAR Hall of Fame And he got into racing because of Grand Turismo

Days of Thunder Oh yeah Yeah Well it's like the movie Grand Tourismo too Yeah about Which was a movie made by a guy who loved movies When he was a kid He just loved movies

He's kind of one of these crazy guys One of these insane guys That was kind of like I like movies actually I have not played much Dragon Quest but something that I find appealing about this one to me

is that the characters kind of look like they're from Team America something it's like yeah because they're trying to keep they're trying to keep kind of the cheeby look but they've also like you know

it's like an HD remix of it so they all look a little bobble-headed and awkward but I do I do think they look I like it aesthetically. I think it's great. It sounds like I'm joking. That's a big so I can't wait to see it because there's one guy in particular. I'm like, you look so crazy

to me and I love it. I can't wait to see it. Have we talked about Koichi Sugiyama on here? Who's the composer of the Dragon Quest games? I'm sure he's come up. We've talked about how he's not a great guy. He's not a great guy now. Yeah, but his music is good. But it's one of those things where it's like his music is good. You can say that about a lot of music, I think. There. But then he was like so, like he held the rights for it so close to, like, you know, to his vest that it was like a big pain in the ad did like like the orchestral versions of it. They always had to relicence. And then so that's why a lot of times they had, there was like the, the soundtrack, the original soundtrack on Dragon Quest 11 came out was so, like, clunky and

dated sounded and kind of like middy for a game that came out, you know, not too long ago. hell they had the Dragon Quest 11S, which had the full orchestral soundtrack. But also just like, I think just a fascist, like just a super right-wing guy. So kind of a bummer that he's so strongly associated with the series. I have a game I like to shout out.

Yeah. Because there's not much new about it. This game was just announced. Not announced, but like was just kind of shown off. Oh, I hope we're going in the same place. It's not that. No, it's not this. Okay.

But I think it might be a different one that I think we might both be excited about. I don't know if you're as excited about it as me. Okay. Because it's a sequel to a game that I think you were fine on. Oh. Mortal Kombat Mythologies, too. This game was just shown for the first time at the Game Awards.

This last year, you know, a couple weeks back. control resonant the sequel to control a game that I absolutely loved and this version you're playing as as the main character's brother

Dylan and instead of having a service weapon gun you have like it's like a melee combat experience and it looks fucking awesome Matt I am lightly excited about the game it looks really good

it looks cool yeah and and I'll be honest. I was very tepid on control, right? It was not the game for me. I think I got up to the final boss battle and just stopped. If I'm not mistaken. It's fine. But I think about it a lot. I think about the rooms with the objects inside of them that you aren't allowed in.

Yes. I think about that aesthetic. I think about the world building. And you know what? I have really warm feelings about it. I love it. Because obviously remedy is sort of making a verse making a verse I was gonna say they're like on one

right now kind of right where they like Alan Wake one was obviously strange but was kind of like it seemed like it's its own thing

quantum break kind of seemed like it's its own thing then control comes around and they're like actually here's a little couple nuggets from those things

in it let's start to do this and then Alan Wake 2 comes around and it's like actually it's all one thing it's all this one story kind of

and so now I'm just super excited to see what's going what the next chapter of that is because I think I was actually thinking about this earlier when we were talking about the X-Files Remedy it should make an X-Files game that's a free pitch they can have that that's great

but I just am very I don't know I'm very blown away by the storytelling in those games and the speculative sci-fi of it all and just like yeah just going into the room that like control did room that changes each direction

you go before blueprints did actually and famously our game of the year confusing

to no one but I just am excited you know there's the the musical sequence in Allen Lake

2 I'm just like I'm just ready for whatever weird shit this one's got and I'm just

ready for a fun story and a good hang that's gonna be an awesome I'm excited I'm excited to play it as well.

I hope to get my fingers on the controller for that one, Matt. That's pretty cool. My fingers are on the controller. I didn't play control, but I did play Allen Wake 2 last year and loved it. I thought it was awesome. And there is in the D.L.C. A control character, correct? That's another bit of the cross-pollination.

So, yes, I played as Jesse for that one chunk of gameplay. It's a... I think Control's like $7 on Steam right now. I should play Control. I mean, like, you know, when am we going to... I just a matter of, like, what do I decide I want to make time for? But I bet I'd really like Control. Really enjoy having really, like, loved Allen Wake 2, as did Rochelle, who played through

Allen Wake 2. But I, like, I just haven't budgeted the time for it. It's in all time. But the Control sequel, it looks really cool. Yeah. It hasn't had a date announced, but they... Mm-hmm. I was as shocked as anybody when they were like, this is coming out next year.

I'll go, okay, sure, before or after Grand Theft Auto Six. Is anyone else excited about Star Wars Racer? Come on, who doesn't have good memories of playing Star Wars pod racing game? Only if Greg Proops is doing the announcing for it, then I'm interested. I'm kind of, yeah, I'm kind of into it. I'll give it a go, why not? I thought the pod racing game was so fun. It was fun.

Like, I want to fly some ships around and go fast? I love going fast and flying. Yeah, you know, you're right. I'll certainly check it out. I don't know why I wouldn't. I was going to shout out the Diablo for expansion. Yeah, that looks fucking cool. Now, here's the thing.

I really did enjoy my time with Diablo four, though after I played through the campaign a couple of times, I didn't feel the need to keep going with the seasons and keep it up going. I just didn't have, like, keep it ongoing. I just didn't have like the drive to do it. It's, I, it was really cool, but I felt like as a persistent game, it just felt kind of samey to me. But new classes and every Diablo expansion, as I've talked about before in the podcast, has made the base game better in terms of, you know, a bunch of additional content that is not just a new biome, but also informs how the rest of the game plays, for instance, like when ruin words were introduced in the. Diablo 2 expansion, and the additional classes are also something you can play through

the base game with. So I am eager to see how that goes. I'll definitely purchase it. I'll definitely play through the new content once and probably through the full campaign once as one of the new classes. But, you know, also like Paladin. I think Paladin you can actually already play now if I, or maybe like that's coming playable in advance of release because like that's part of the expansion.

I think if you pre-order it, you can get the, like, blah. But I've always loved playing Paladins in the Diablo games against Sense 2. So I'm glad that that class is back. I need them to add a beam worth a damn in Diablo 4 because the beam as it is now is just like fire. And that fire is different than beam. I think we can all agree on that. Yeah. It's different.

A proper beam would be fun. Yeah. You need beam. Yeah. I'm also pretty interested in, I don't know if I'm interested in it as more as I am. It's a curiosity of mine. Pokemon Pocopia. Yep.

I wonder how that's going to be. The ditto game? The ditto game where you play as a ditto who has taken the form of a human girl. And I feel like it's a game that they're putting out to be like, so this is why we were suing everybody because of pal world. We have crafting in this. We have, it's our Minecraft, it's our sort of thing like that. It's our cozy game. Piss off.

So I am interested in checking that out because, like, I know that they are doing a Switch 2 update for Animal Crossing, New Horizons, and so that means to me that there's not a new Animal Crossing, there's not a new cozy game that I can really rock with coming for a while. So if it's a Pokemon cozy game,

that could be interesting to me. Yep, yeah. A game that I'm similarly like, maybe, is the Capcom game Pragmata. Yes. Which, look, there's some puzzle elements in that UI where you're fighting some guys and you got to like do a little puzzle on the side and I'm like get that out of there yeah but just the look of the game and the animation on the little girl I'm like I don't know maybe this would be a really cool old throwback type game yeah where you're like robots dad little girl fighting robots it also made me think we spend so much of our time our waking hours in video games in places

worse than the world we live in. True. It's funny to me that people aren't using this technology to make games that are putting us in better places. Yeah, yeah. It's true. Like Animal Crossing is a better place than the real world. Yeah. But most of the time we are

firing guns at things that are screaming at us about security protocols. Yeah, yeah. Or it's legs on top and bottom. Yeah, yeah. It's funny that we could make anything. Yeah. Because we're at that point with games.

You can make anything. It's true. And we're making nightmares nonstop. Here's a game that we talked about, the possibility grand theft. 06, pushing into 2027. I think we actually might see that happen with Insomniac's Wolverine. But I do think Wolverine looks cool. And I'm really excited to see what Insomniac in particular this take is going to be on the character. I mean, it's, he's an obvious pick.

For me, I love Wolverine. I've always loved Wolverine since I was a little kid. So any chance to play as Wolverine in a video game, I'll take. Yeah. So I'm very excited about that. I'm excited to toss some guys around, call him Bub. You know, get a little berserker rage going, maybe chomp on a cigar. But yeah, I mean, Insomniac really knocked it out of the park with those Spider-Man games.

I think Spider-Man 2 is the worst of the three of those games. games, but it's still really good. It's still fantastic. So hopefully that one is great. I am looking, I'm also looking forward to the Lego Batman game that's coming out, Legacy of the Dark Night, that

sort of encompasses a bunch of different types of Batman stories. I also just love, I love Lego Batman. Lego Batman, uh, you love. Yeah, my mom's favorite movie. Your mom's favorite movie. She just recently got a tattoo of Lego Batman. Are you serious? I'm not fucking kidding. Wow, that rocks.

Holy shit. She went in the other day, got a tattoo, sent me a text of a photo, Lego Batman. Your mom's the coolest. Wow. Holy shit. She loves it. And that's not her only one like that. She got the two dragons from How to Train Your Dragon a couple years back.

She got Doodle Bob from Spongebob. I've mentioned this. My mom's pretty cool. That's really cool. Doodle Bob really funny? Do you know about doodle Bob? I've talked about doobob's weren't explained to me before, yeah.

Doodle bobs, I think for me, if I were to be on the now defunct podcast, WTF, Mark Marin asked me who are your guys? I'm saying blink one and a two. I'm saying doodle bob. Do we think

intergalactic the heretic prophet is going to come out in 2026? No. And it can't, I have to say this too. And Nottie Dogg, you better be fucking listening. You can't call it that. You can't call it that.

That is one of the most dog shit titles of a game I've ever heard. That sucks. I'm going to play it no matter what it's called. There's no way to play that. Do you think it should just be called intergalactic? Or do you think it should just be called the Heretic Prophet? I think it should be called Intergalactic, the Heretic Prophet, Origins. I think intergalactic as a title is fine, but it's also so generic.

The Last of Us kind of feels like it's something uncharted. It feels like it's something. Okay, okay, there we go. Intergalactic feels like the name of a video game they were working on in Grandma's Boy or some shit. It doesn't feel real. Right. And Heretic is unfortunately already a game.

Yeah. Profit is already a game. What about the space of us? The Space of Us is pretty good. The Last of Space 2. The Last of Space 2. Yeah, they'll just go straight to 2. While we're talking about the Last of Us director and their directors and their new projects,

I think we talk about Bruce Strayley's game, Coven of the Chicken Foot. This got announced to the game awards. It's aesthetically really cool. It's a lot more like, you know, kind of get this art cartoony sort of self-shaded quality to it. And that's a title, by the way. Great title. Very distinct title. But it's just like, to me, this is a game that's just like, oh, this is a premise that I'm intrigued by.

where you play an older woman who is, you know, not someone who's necessarily physically nimble or particularly powerful, but has some, you know, magical abilities like this, basically you're playing like an older woman who's a witch. And you've also got this familiar, this big sort of, you know, like a golem monster who follows you around helping you out with tasks. But Heather, I don't know if you, I think you saw the Game Awards footage, but it's just like, you know, it's just like a really cool looking game. And I'm just like, it just feels like a new sort of design and also just hearing some of a Bruce Staley's enthusiasm for it for it and how it's like fundamentally about the, you know, like like like, I mean, I can just read his quote here from this Polygon article, which is the Stanley Blurts out the question that fuels the story. Who the fuck resurrects Gannendorf between every Zelda game?

So it's like just basically about the characters whose task is to bring back the Dark Lord in a video game reality. I think that's fun. Yeah, that does sound awesome. Also, can I mention something real quick? This is a game that we played. Actually, I played on the podcast when we talked about the Sega CD and the Sega 32X. Slam City with Scottie Pippen is getting a remaster

that's coming in 2026. We don't have to do this. But I mean, let's fucking go. It's like the new virtual voice. Like from an archival standpoint, so much media is no longer accessible, especially, you know,

like video, especially true with video games. I love that people are going to be able to play Slam City with Scotty Pippen one of the weirdest experiences. It's also just interesting because. game. That's obviously simply only going for nostalgia, right? Because

young basketball fans who are like into the game now probably don't, probably aren't really thinking about Scotty Pippin' all that much. Scotty Pippin Jr. had a dad? Scottie Pippin Jr. could play. I didn't know Scottie Pippin Jr. was playing ball. He's in the NBA. Isn't that wild? That's nuts. Wow. Good for him.

Yeah. I think Good for him. It's quite an accompli. It's an NBA player. It is cool. It's like only been like 5,000 in history or something. What if that's enough? What if the reason they're remastering it is that the footage was recorded in like HD or on film.

Fuck. And they're like, we've got all this footage of Scotty Pippen from the 90s. Yeah. We should just re-release it as an HD game. That is kind of wild. Sometimes like an old TV show will be like, oh, there's a 4K re-release because it's shot on 35 millimeter. Even though it was originally broadcast an SD 4x3. Remaster Mutant League football, you fucking cowards.

I think there is a new Mutant League football. Oh, my God. That 007 game looks all right. I like the Hitman games quite a bit. Lenny Kravitz is playing the villain of the game. Oh, good. He's playing like a sort of like eccentric sort of like animal guy or he like has animals. Wow.

Not that he's an animal. yeah sure um but hung like a horse fucking monster hog popping out of his leather pants full view of an audience it's simply

the funniest thing I've ever seen it's one of funniest features of footage yeah it's also like it's like it is sentient almost where it kind of like snaps in and out his pants rip His pants are hip. And I sort of have a suspicion that it wasn't his ass or thighs ripping the pants.

It's a fucking hog. Oh, his pants were pretty tight. But yeah. Yeah. But yeah, he's the villain and it's just him. It just looks exactly like him. Sounds exactly like him. That's strange.

What's funnier? Lenny Kravitz his hog popping out of his pants when they split on stage or Kelsey Grammer falling off stage. that's pretty tough but Kelsey Gamer one you're worried he got hurt he probably said oh heavens both times yeah we don't we don't know what Kelsey is back

and I would have to assume not as gifted as Lenny based on his attitude towards things but I think I think it is probably funnier that we all saw

Lenny's hog. I also like when he wore the big scarf. That was fun. He's got to, he's not only one of the hottest people that's ever been alive. I, um, I know the footage exists. I've never been curious enough to watch it. You had to be there. I don't know if it's like worth seeking out. You have to be there. When it was

on Twitter and stuff, people were just sharing it, you kind of just sort of like, this is so funny and crazy. Gotcha, gotcha. Because it just kind of happened on accident. Yeah. It's like Nick's he has it bookmarked. She wants. It's one of those things I remember someone's showing me at work

and being like, you know, if it wasn't a different industry, this could be a problem. Here's a thing? It should be a problem. You know, one thing I think we should touch on real quick is that there's some, you know, there's obviously some video game movies and TV series that are coming out next year.

we've got of, you know, the Super Mario Galaxy movie, which, you know, the footage I've seen, at least visually looks, looks pretty striking. Fallout's going to have an early release? Yeah, Fallout will be out in, I think the end of 2025 will get the Fallout season two, but we have yet to react to it here. There's a, the return to Silent Hill movie, which, you know, the first Silent Hill film, a good movie, so I'm excited to see what the sequel is. Oh, my God.

I am probably going to, we probably will watch it for at least one of the show. You can have to watch it. Oh, my God. I'm not looking forward to it at all. No, I'm not looking forward to it at all. But then there's also, you know, a street fighter, which it's interesting. I have gone from skeptic to excited about the street fighter movie. Kitow Sakurai is the director.

That's why. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why. I've worked with Kitau. So I have a little skin in this game. I've worked with him a lot. Yeah.

And I trust his sensibility. I think there's a possibility this movie is going to be both violent and funny. And that's the, that's, if it hits that bullseye, I think it could be a real, a real piece of work. The casting is strange, but I wouldn't put it past a talented director like him to, you know, make something work. Yeah. Like, some of the casting is interesting. I'm very interested in, I think, Dave. David, how you say his name?

Des Moushan. Yeah, he's an amazing actor. He's done with the airport. I saw him at an audition one time. And when a second I saw him, I knew I wasn't getting casting whatever this was. I was like, you got fucking good guys in here stressing about auditioning for this thing? I'm about to go. It was for, I mean, I don't audition for anything ever.

But this was the one time when I had like a big audition and it was for Gus Van Sant. And I had to be in a room in audition for a Gus Van Sant movie right in front. of him and he has a polaroid of me wow that he just has now is this the the he's got this upcoming move dead man's wire is this what it was this was no this was years ago okay yeah this was for a movie that then

ultimately ended up being called um was it don't worry he won't get very far on foot okay yeah yeah uh and he saw he came to harold night or something and like got a bunch of people from my year one herald team to come in on an audition for like i like that guy let's see what he can do yeah let's see what he's yeah he was like he was

like big mistake but he has a photo of me somewhere that's cool though yeah it's a cool thing for director to do he was so nice and so cool what would you do if you found out that it was tacked to his fridge I would think that was strange I wouldn't do anything about it but I would think it was strange that he has it that he's like looking at it

and like maybe remembering me fondly remember this guy that did the worst I've ever seen what if it what if you found out it came down to you and David Desmalshan and they like he wanted you but the studio was like we got to go with a celebrity I would feel like a million bucks. That would feel actually pretty good.

If you tell us you that at a party, think about that. Yeah, when I'm running into, uh, uh, uh, why is, oh, Gus Van Sanne, I forgot his name. I'm running into him at a, at the headgum holiday party. At the headgum holiday party, yeah, or the, uh, yeah, the, the dropout holiday party that I was definitely invited to. Uh, must have missed my invite.

Um, One of those things is true. You decide. Look, look, I think the, we'll see what happens with Street Fighter. We'll see what happens with Mortal Kombat, too. I think Zach Kragers, Resident Evil, I think we're all pretty excited for. That's the movie to beat. That should be.

Yeah, I mean, I'm excited for that as a movie. You'll get an adaptation inside. You're putting Zach Kragher's name on that thing. I'm going. I'm, it's, they're really turning that some bitch around because, you know, Weapons came out this year, 2025, as of this recording. Next year is going to be Resident Evil, which I think they're in the process of shooting as we speak.

Yeah. It'd be, I mean, it's interesting, too, because I feel like a lot of, because I think Barbarians shot in, like, Romania or something, right? And then I think they shot weapons, like, in Bulgaria or something. Good. And then I think, or maybe it was Resident Evil shooting in Bulgaria. I can't remember. I was just, like, it'd be nice.

Craig are to be around so we can talk to him. It would be interesting. Yeah, production is moving out of LA. It's a problem. But also the Sekiro anime, which I know there's some people saying, like it looks like it's using generative AI and some of it.

I don't know if that was true or not if it is. That's a fucking huge bummer, and obviously that mutes any sort of enthusiasm I'd have for it. But I beat Sekiro, as I say, at any opportunity. I love Sekiro. I hope a Sekiro anime would be good.

Yeah, you're getting pulled over by the police. I beat Sekiro. Don't let you go. There's a sweet couldn't anime coming as well. Yes, there is there. Is the Death Stranding anime coming this year? I don't know if it's straighted slated for this show. I don't know.

I would imagine that that one is one that they would take time with. Yeah, maybe they will. But yeah, a lot of good stuff coming out like that. Will the last of us two, part two, come out this year? Probably not, right? Probably not. Yeah, I wouldn't think so. Yeah, probably not.

Yeah. And God, I can't wait. I love stuff. I really love stuff. You got to have stuff. You know, as the Fortnite representative in the room, I can't wait to see what assonine skins are announced for that game. Yeah. The longer that game is out, the more esoteric their collaborations have to be on, like,

back to the future is not something that can. kids are chomping at the bit to be able to play as. Yeah. Kim Kardashian, maybe. I don't know. I didn't, I wasn't chomping at the bit to play as Kim Kardashian. But there was a leak that there's going to be a Warner Brothers mode

where you get to play as fucking coyote. You get to play as Bugs Bunny. You'll get to play as all the guys. So like, I can't believe I'm going to buy a Bugs Bunny. There's going to be, it's going to be a Bugs Bunny. It's half owned by Disney, but there's also going to be a Warner Brothers mode.

Let's fucking go. Get Roger Rabbit in there. Yeah. Wacko. Wacko, Yaco, and Dot. In a mech suit with a gun. I do want to shout out Saros, also, the game from, the new game coming from Housemark, who did, Why Can't I Remember it?

Why can't I remember the name of the game? Game. It starts with an R. It's one of the few PlayStation 5 exclusives. What's it called? I don't remember. It's gone. But I'm excited about that game.

Because that game had a lot of fun game playing it. This is the roguelike game that came out of launch. Yes. Yeah, what the fuck was that called? I'm going to Google Housemark. One of us needs to be able to remember things. No. No, because here's what's happening.

We've been doing the podcast long enough for now. I'm becoming like you guys. Returnal. Returnal. Right, right. Returnal is so great. It's so good. I never finished it.

a unbelievable design. So I'm excited for the new one. I will shout out one additional game and I'm not sure how it's going to be, but I love the Heroes of Might and Magic franchise, in particular Heroes of Might and Magic 2 and 3. Really fun, really cool,

tactical strategy games. And there's Heroes of Might and Magic old and era coming out. It's obviously from a new developer. But it's hopefully it's a sort of thing where they're able to capture the magic of the old franchise.

And so I'm going to be watching that with cautious optimism. We'll see if it actually comes out in the calendar year of 2026. Hey, fingers crossed. Lots of fun games coming out. And definitely games that are not announced yet that will be excited about. That's always the thing. I say that every time we do this preview, the game that comes, the games that are going to be the most exciting are going to be ones that we don't know about yet that aren't yet on our

radar. Yeah. Mistress Armageddon, the Cactus Initiative. Four, five. Yes, the prequel of the six, seven. But I mean, even just in 2025, it's, you know, blueprints, our game of the year, but also the... Ball pit.

Ball pit. You know, it's like these, like, who was minding this game? Who had like this one on their radar? And then it comes out and everyone's like, well, shit, I got to play this fucking back. The Argonautic Symphony. I would take any of these titles over Intergalactic, the Heretic Prophet. It's because...

Word salad. It's because Intergalactic and Heretic sound too similar to one another. Yeah. That's the problem with it. Hard consonants. Yeah. Yeah. Should we do a segment?

Let's do segment. Oh, my God. It's our video game themed, Would You Rather? It's Would You Blathers. Now, our O.G. format, now our OG format, how did this get played, will be returning as a regular format on our new Patreon as we've already teased previous. Yes! No! In fact, I believe this week we'll have an episode up. We will and I just, we haven't, we will. Okay. I just want to say we haven't

recorded it yet. I can't wait to talk about it. Not worth saying now, but God, the game that we talk about, it's the Bubsy collection. It's the Bubsy collection. Bubsy in the perfect collection. We'll be giving that a full episode behind the paywall. Fucking nightmare. So in that spirit, it's would you blathers, how did this get played edition? All of these scenarios involve worst and weirdest games we previously covered on the old floor.

All right. A little bit of something from the hell pit. I thought you were going to do mama number five type thing. A little bit of room in the night sky in my life. A little bit of, um, E.T. For my wife. Vroom in the night sky was that that was the flying bicycle game. Yeah, 10 out of 10.

Yeah, Panty Party was the flying panty game that I caught iffy playing months and months after we had recorded the extra. Was room in the night sky was that the, like, there was something really broken about the game. I can't remember it was, it like had no collision, right? What the fuck was it? It was just that like, I think there was no fail state at all. You could just like do. Yeah. You could just do the game.

I like 100% it in like 90 minutes or something. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. But yeah, we're going to be playing some bizarre games and some notorious games behind the paywall. And for this segment,

we're going to be talking about some of those games we previously covered. And Ranch, feel free to play on this one too. Would you blathers be a surgeon like in surgeon simulator or be a goat like in goat simulator? I have my answer. Okay. Because I don't think I would like to know what it feels like to pierce human flesh.

But I would like to know what it's like to eat a tin can. I'm going goat simulator, baby. Goats are also, they're so cute. And they're also, from what I understand, the greatest of all time. Yeah. I think between those two specific game scenarios, to be that surgeon is to have a heart attack within the first 30 minutes of your life. Your existence at, whereas Goat Simulator, it's just like a playful catamari-esque experience of the world. Yeah.

Destructive sandbox. Yeah. So I'm in for Goat Simulator. I'm not in for my arms are loose and floppy and connected at my shoulders with no bones. all the way to my fingers, but I am also trying to save a man's life. Ranch, goat or surgeon? I would love to be a goat.

The most enthusiastic ranch has been about anything we've talked about ever. It's goat for me as well. I mean, here's the thing, like, I'm dumb, and I'm already... What did you just stop talking? Duh, dumb. is my butt my mouth I'm dumb but I already am like

smart enough to be unhappy if that makes sense like it's like you know part of like how you why do that hurt to hear part of why you get how you cope with being alive is you just you're using substances to

to you know make yourself dumber and so I feel like if as a surgeon I'd be like smarter than I am now I don't want that no I don't be like like even I'm already feel like I'm too smart and I don't know shit. So I don't, so I want to be a goat

because then you're dumber. Thanks, they're saying that, Matt. For a fucking idiot. What? I think I'd rather be a goat because I think you'd just be more content if you were stupid.

Oh yeah. And then, because they're just all id, right? They're just like, they're just kind of just doing whatever. And that's what the game is. He's just doing whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah.

It rocks. And they're also like, I feel like they're not, they're kind of underrated as far as cute animals. They are cute. They're really cute. Because everyone is going to like,

you know, red panda, or, you know, puppy, kitten bunny. Slow Loris. What did the, what's that? What's a slow Loris? The Loras are cute. They're super cute, Matt. You would love this guy. Hold on.

I'll get them for you. People think because goats have those devil eyes, the little square pupils. Right. I think they're all nasty. They're really cute. Goats are cute. You ever pet a baby goat?

No. You just try it. Also, goat. Low-key tasty meat. Okay, I'm glad we're on this I didn't start Oh, a slow loris Yeah

He's a little video He's got a little chef's hat on A little video of a slow Loris Who's got a little chef's hat on And he's eating a little bread He's probably disgusting Look at him Look at that guy right there

Look at him Yeah He's he's eating He's eating a little French food He's sitting on a little chair Yeah, that's adorable That's really good It's cute as fuck

He's sleeping I hadn't eaten meat until I hadn't eaten goat until I was a full-ass adult like a couple of years ago. Other cultures are eating goat more often than we are here in the states. When most commonly eaten meats worldwide. I think it's like a top meat.

I think it's like, it's up there with beef, I think. It's really good. Not a huge fan of goat meat. Oh, man. It's great. Or goat milk or goat cheese. Oh, I'm a goat cheese. Fucking freak.

I love that stuff. Cross the board. Take all the goat you got. Next up, would you blathers? battle zombies with your typing skills like in typing of the dead or battle a private military corporation with a gun that fires CDs

like in Revolution X. So you've got weaponized keyboard or weaponized projectile combat discs. I'm taking weaponized keyboard. I think firing a gun at zombies is already going to be pretty hard. Yeah. To have those fucking CDs ejecting out of that thing

and hitting wind resistance and flopping all over the place. Yeah. Like it's not, I can't imagine killing anything with that gun. Right. So if the magical typewriter allows me to type phrases to kill zombies, I think I have a better shot with the typewriter than with the CD gun.

And I honestly think I think I'm pretty good at typing. I think I can type. I make very few mistakes. Yeah. Will I send an email before it's done? Absolutely. That's not typing. That's clicking.

That's different. I'm worse at clicking. I can do typing pretty good. Yeah. You and Mavis Beacon. I mean I we're like this yeah you've you fucked her didn't you

oh yeah we fucked Mavis Beacon was what No Nick we fucked okay I was I was devastated when I learned she wasn't real Really? Yeah oh yeah You think Carmen San Diego is real? No I know but here's the thing Mavis Beacon she's real but we can't find her Mavis Beacon they used a photograph of a woman

Yeah like they were like this is Mavis Beacon This is like oh she's teaching me typing Mavis Beacon, this, like, real figure, this real person who wants to teach kids the value of using a keyboard. And then I find out she's a work of fiction. Yeah, you thought she was like Jared from Subway, your other hero. Obviously a real person. Yeah, I think I'd had to go with the typing just because I think I can manage that. I think I would feel pretty competent in a world where that was, you know, what I had to do.

Ranch, zombies with typing, or fighting the military with a gun that fires compact discs. If I was on a suicide mission, I could take the gun with the CDs. I don't understand, like actual CDs. Yeah, the CDs come out and they take out. Against the government? Yeah. Their aerosmith CDs of that's helpful at all, too. It's kind of a cabal of, like, you know, government and corporations, but it's all like, you know, some sort of privatized military.

Okay, I'll do that. I'm also going to take the CD gun Because here's the thing The downside risk of being a zombie Is so scary to me I like I don't want someone else to want to have my husk And I also don't really know what being a zombie Is someone else

Yeah I mean because like like this is a thing Like it's like it's like well here's well that's Well that's I guess the existential question What actually is being zombieified Like are you still in there? Is your consciousness in there and but you're trapped in someone else has control of your facilities you're rotting while yeah this your virus is in control of you or whatever it may be feeling the pain you're eating the rotten you're tasting the rotten flesh

that some other you know entity is is forcing you to consume i mean like that that just seems absolutely horrific so i'd rather just be like shot and killed than at risk of becoming a zombie yeah because i i you know i mistyped uh carroll has a brown dog or oh the fuck she got a blue dog and You know that. Next up, would you blathers be a passenger in a crazy taxi, like in crazy taxi, or be a passenger in a go-cart driven by Garfield like in Garfield cart? This is actually, this is really hard. I have an immediate answer, which is crazy taxi, in part because none of those people die. Right?

It's true. They're just different levels of people. They're upset, but they're not dead. And when they get, and they get out of the cab. Yes. And they're at Tower Records or whatever. There is no evidence that you can exit the go-carts in Garfield cart. They might be fused to their bodies like metal to skin.

And even if you did, you wouldn't be in the real world. You would be in some kind of Garfield cart hell, like a purgatory. Okay. So I have to go crazy taxi because at the middle. Minimum, I'm in a city when I get out of that cab. So for me, I can't think of a better day way to spend my day than hanging with my boy Garfield. One, I get to be a passenger princess. I don't got to fucking drive.

Garfield's driving. Two, we're racing the, you know, Odie, uh, normal, uh, the little farm animal characters as well, probably there too. US Acres grew. Yeah, that's right. Um, built in day off every single week because he's, you know, he's, you know, He's not doing any of that on Monday. It's the Sabbath.

So, and there's probably, I can't remember those specifics of that game. There's probably lasagna to eat around as well, too. Yeah, I think there's a coffee power up. Yeah, coffee. Garfield loves coffee. Does he love coffee? Yeah, he does. Well, he's got to wake himself up for me and all that lasagna.

Yeah, and on Mondays, he wants to just stay in bed. And, you know, he's got a bad attitude. I think that's kind of funny sometimes. Sure. So I think I'm going to pick Garfield cart. Fused to your legs. Ranch, ride in a crazy taxi or riding in a Garfield cart. The Garfield cart, for sure.

I think for my perspective, it's what's the better story? And I think you have, you could be like, hey, yeah, I was in San Francisco and this fucking cab driver was fucking nuts. It was crazy. He was power sliding. He was blasting the offspring. Jumped over a building. He jumped over a building.

But he got me to Pizza Hut in 45 seconds. It's like, that's a pretty good story. But I got to write. a go-kart with Garfield is like a topper of anyone's store. Yeah, one, Garfield is real. Yeah. He's fucking driving.

Yeah. It's good. And that is, now if the question was, would you rather, would you blathers be driven around in a crazy car driven by one of the Simpsons

a Simpsons road rage, which is a crazy taxi knockoff? I would have a sort of a different choice to me. I think it to be driven around by Apu or Grandpa. All right. Next up, would you blathers fight Shaq in single combat like in Shaq Fu or dodge flaming, freezing, and exploding basketballs thrown by MJ like in Michael Jordan Chaos and the Windy City? I already know the answer.

You're dead either way. You're dead either way. But actually, I don't think so. Okay. You're dead one way. Let's hear it out. There's a famous song. Oh.

by the late great Aaron Carter. Okay. In which he details an event where he beats Shaq. Okay. Shack is beatable. He is fallible. Shack is human. Shack is man.

He bleeds if you cut him. Okay. As far as I know, there are no songs about beating MJ. So I have to... Even Will Smith raps about beating Shaq. Play ball with Shaq and him, flatten him. He does say that. He does.

So there's two songs about beating Shaq and basketball. And you know Will Smith's got hands. So I think the easier one, believe it or not, is taking down seven foot five shack. I hear your argument and I think I'm in. In part because also Shaq's not on fire. No, he's not on fire.

So that's two strikes against MJ. Yeah. I go Shaq. And MJ can harness the power of chaos, it sounds like. Ranch, what are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing in life? Are you dodging, flaming basketballs thrown by Michael Jordan or are you getting fist fought by the martial arts of Shaq? I think I would go against Shaq.

There it is. I could go between his leg. He's big and strong, but he doesn't seem all that fast. You know what I mean? He was surprisingly nimble as a player. Yeah, that means terrifyingly fast. Yeah, he's like a bear. He's all momentum.

I'm not a small man. I'm six foot one, 190 pounds. Shack is a foot taller than me and more than 100 pounds heavier than me. He could kill. any of us with a single punch. He is an absolute Goliath. But Shack also like to have fun. He's a little bit silly, isn't he? He likes to crack jokes. He likes to rap. He likes to be in Adam Sandler movies. He calls himself Big Aristotle. He calls himself Big Aristotle. He got levitated over a house by Chris Angel. The greatest pieces of video ever captured. He's a stud.

I think you could probably Shaq could beat you but go easy on you like he'd beat you just enough to win or like you could kind of like you know crack some jokes with him and he'd like ah we're having fun or whatever you know you could play dead or a house and grandma exactly yeah whereas Michael Jordan is notoriously competitive

yes the most competitive asshole in sports he's like the biggest asshole it's ever lived he would try to kill you he would try to execute you yeah and he would be mad if he failed and he would enlist the likes of the Looney Tunes Yeah, you'd hate to see that. Very few things are more devastating for a Chicagoan

than watching the dissent over the last 25 years of the story and legacy of Michael Jordan. I just can't believe anybody from Chicago is rude. What the heck's that? A pretty friendly city. He's from North Carolina. He's from North Carolina. I forgot.

I saw the movie air. I mean, for a while, he was the pride of Chicago. Yeah, that's right. Like, Michael Jordan's our guy. We got him. And you know what? The people of Chicago are, I burned up. They maybe have a certain way of speaking to you.

Yeah. What fuck is that? Like this? What is the way? When I was in Chicago, I like asked like a very benign question and the guy that I asked it to was like a bartender was annoyed that I asked him a question but answered it perfectly and helped me. So like I will suffer the annoyance of, you know, of anybody who's helpful. Yeah. I was at a lovely time in Chicago.

The, and the problem with the Bulls franchise is not Michael Jordan who got them six championships. And, God, that restaurant, the bear. Oh, that's good stuff. Finally, would you blathers live in a dystopian reality without Mario like in Mario is missing or have to be Leisure Suit Larry's wingman like in Leisure Suit Larry? Well, this is a boon for Leisure Suit Larry because I'm getting that guy laid for sure. He hangs with me one night. He's going to have all the trim he could want.

And you know he calls it trim. You know he does. I would far, far, far more likely enjoy the world of Mario is missing. In part because if he doesn't exist or is missing, I wouldn't even know. He's just a guy out there. Like you would just be living your life. We may exist in the universe where Mario is missing currently. That could be because he actually doesn't exist.

He doesn't exist. So Mario is missing. is reality. I choose Mario's missing. I would rather set myself on fire and shoot myself in the mouth than be the wingman of that piece of shit. Ranch, what do you think? Yeah, I don't want to go near that guy. I'm with my boy Matt and I'm with my boy leadership to shoot Larry. The three of us out? We're in the club. Forget it.

It's sort of like Vinny Chasing the boys. Hey, buddy. Larry thinks you're cute. Christ Whoever that is is in love with you for something Every story It's just my optometrist

Who tried against me Hey that's this week Our producers Rochelle Chen Ranch yard underscore underscore Sard Our music is by Ben Pronti Benpronte music.com

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