Get Played - Get This Party Started: RPG Character Draft

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Heather, Nick and Matt discuss some RPGs from their past and draft their ideal RPG rosters from their favorite characters! Our next We Play, You Play: Mother 3 Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? and our Premium DLC episodes and our exclusive show Get Anime'd where we're currently experiencing AniMAYhem go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. McCrispy Strips are now at McDonald's. Tender, juicy, and its own sauce. Would you look at that? Well, you can't see it, but trust me, it looks delicious. New McCrispy Strips, now at McDonald's. All right, look, we've got to defeat the Demon Lord. We need to team up. I think the three of us just need to be a party.

You mean Matt? An RPG party? The three of us? Yeah, the three of us. All right, I think our best chance of defeating the vile demon lord and saving our realm is for all three of us to become not just friends, but allies. Okay. To become party members and battle evil together. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, it seems like the only option. It's a sacrifice, but it's one that we need to make. Absolutely. Great. We need to go out there and adventure together. I know what my role is. I already know what my role is. Okay. What are you thinking about doing? I'll be the driver.

Be the driver? Yeah, like the getaway driver. Okay. So you guys go in, and I'll have the car ready, and as soon as you're done, we okay, so we have cars so we have cars Yeah, we have cars. I was not clear on whether okay. We have cars. I understand now if car yes of course There's the Demon Lord, but we have cars. I mean it kind of sounds like you're not trying to get your hands dirty You kind of want to wait in the car. Yeah, okay, okay?

That's fine, but that's if that's okay. I'll you know what every every group for needs like a Guy in the chair kind of thing kind of like a guy who's like looking stuff up at your computer like somewhere else Yeah, so like I'll be somewhere else Heather you'll be outside in the car. I'll be the driver and like Nick goes in yeah He'd uh we do I mean we haven't figured out what my role is yet though. Okay, okay. Look, we gotta battle the Demon Lord. Someone's gotta get in there.

Yeah, and we need a balanced party. It's gotta be balanced. We got movement, we've got logistics. Yeah. You know what else we need? Frontline talent. And you know how we find frontline talent? A talent scout

I'm gonna find the big the best strongest warrior And I'm gonna say you're the man for the job and get him out there get him out and get him out That's actually really really good because yeah, I've like there's some strong guy walking. Yeah doesn't necessarily know what's going on He's not gonna think I'll just do that myself somebody needs to recruit him and like get him you know geared up and then Deploy him to take on the Demon Lord that makes a ton of actually already put up some ads on social media We have social media too. Oh, yeah, we have cars. We have cars in social. I have computer. Yeah Yeah, you have computer, so I put some ads up on social media. I'm just look where I'm having tryouts

For the hottest strongest studs. So wait they have to be hot too. Yeah, I won't look I mean they gotta have the right look Yeah, what is it? What do you know? Try them out a little bit see if they can handle the jet. You have to try them out I mean, I'll be the one down the talent scout. I'll be doing the one to doing the tryout. Sorry. Sorry I'm sorry, you know as we're all on Zoom, because we're all, this is our reality. We've been doing this whole thing on Zoom. We've been doing it on Zoom. We're not in the same room at all.

Actually, one of the huds, the studs, is here for the tryout. That sucks for me, because I was also supposed to be there for this. I said that I would be there too. You want me to tell them to hang out for a little bit? Yeah, well, because like, we do this part on Zoom, but we do the tryouts in person.

Hey, what's up, bro? Hey, you look good. I was also supposed to be there for that, so I'm actually really upset. Hey, why don't you, my buddy Matt's gonna come over and join in trying you out, so why don't you just grab yourself a vodka soda and just relax for a bit.

The thing about, Heather, I know that you seem confused about this, the only reason I'm gonna be there is because like, I don't want Nick to pick the wrong hottest strongest guy There needs to be two eyes sets of eyes on this just in case that there's like a diamond in the rough that we're not Seeing I was just on on social media which we have yeah here in this Reality and it turns out that the demon lord has already annexed Most of the planet you just we just join the Demon Lord?

I feel like we could just join the Demon Lord. It seems way easier than fighting him. Here's the thing, I didn't want to say this because we were having the tryouts and stuff. Have you guys seen the Demon Lord? He's super buff and hot. He looks honestly great. It's kind of like if I was going to pick somebody to beat the Demon Lord, I would pick him, but he's already the Demon Lord,

you know what I mean? But if we can just join him, that's like, then we kinda did it and we're heroes, kind of. Yeah, I think we can go home thinking that about ourselves today. We're the heroes. Yeah, we're the heroes. Wouldn't mind giving that Demon Lord a tryout.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! We balance DPS with support and romance co-workers as we draft our dream RPG parties this week on Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Weiger.

That's me, Nick. Tiger Weiger along with the bad Appodaka. Hmm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hello everyone. Hello everyone and welcome back to the premier video game podcast where this week we're talking about a party. Yeah, and I don't think we need to be coy with this.

This episode is pre-recorded. We're going, it's going in the this. This episode is pre-recorded. It's going in the backlog. This is a thing we sometimes do. We have an episode that's in the can, ready to deploy as needed. So you'll be hearing this from some point in the past. It will not be as topical as our normal episodes.

We don't have to be coy, but what if I want to? Oh Matt, don't be coy. I hope you're not coy. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he I'd gotta be in the neighborhood Might have been a record for fastest we've upset Heather Yeah, this is this is going I like I like that this is going in the backlog Yeah, we've been into the backlog yeah the backlog yeah into the backlog. I don't mind it. No me neither Ranchi okay with that? This is being recorded at an earlier time to be released for later So like if you know there's like a gaming piece of news that we're not talking about that's probably why yeah, you know

Isn't that crazy whatever that is I think earliest we've upset Heather and earliest ranch has been completely 90 seconds is We all just have curry yeah, we sure did it was really good most of the time We're recording this show now. We've just had curry We are having we are we have been going to the well look at the curry well quite a bit It's a good way to live the great. It's a great great meal I mean not to spend too much time on this I kind of don't think I can get sick of it I think it's one of those ones

It's like this is just good and I could eat this probably I could probably eat it at least every other week Yeah, like could you get sick of a grilled cheese sandwich really? I'm probably not no I guess I get I could probably eat it at least every other week. Yeah, like could you get sick of a grilled cheese sandwich? Probably not. No, I could just keep in those fuckers forever. Yeah, because like some foods that you're sort of like, I think I've had this a little bit too much. There was a year of my life where I effectively lived on grilled cheese because of budget reasons.

And no, I never got sick of it. Yeah, great sandwich. If anything, this was when I was living in Amsterdam There was a kind of cheese on the it was like a cheap grocery store cheese But it was in Holland cheese was a different quality and I still hunt for that taste Wow hearing about some of the foods you've described from Amsterdam. I was really worried. It's gonna be like yes It's like Amsterdam cheese. It's like fucking Fish cheese and like stop It's licorice fish

Salty licorice fish And it was hard Yeah, I got all veneers because I've ate so much of that cheese But yeah, Heather said We're having a little bit of a party today. Aren't we? Yeah, we sure are. We're having a party. We're having a party. Bit of a party Well, we all love parties. It kind of seems like we love that. Yeah. I mean as a person in the world Could not be further from the truth. Yeah, I don't like parties. I actually do not like attending parties Well, that's interesting isn't it? I'll go to a party, I'll have fun.

I like, here's the thing, I am kind of a party dude. I like to party. I'll go with that. This is the thing, you're the party animal of the podcast. I will go. You honestly am ranch. I think ranch is a secret party animal. You're the Michelangelo of our Ninja Turtles.

I think that's fair. Who's everybody? Okay. Donatello does machines. That's probably me, because I'm the one who's like building computers, but you also build computers. I also build computers,

but I might be kind of the Leonardo, which I know is boring, but I think that- I think you're the Leonardo, you're the leader. Yeah, you really, yeah, you got us back on track, you keep things on course. Which means that Ranch is Raph, that tracks. We've been down our necks all the time. Raph is too nice to be Raph as a thing.

Here's the thing, I could see it. I could see it, I could see it happening. I could see it for sure. Also you got the RA thing. That's true. Ranch Raph, maps nicely. So I'm a bit of a party animal, I'll go, but I also now I'm like, I like to be invited only.

I don't want to not be, if I see a party happening and I'm not invited and it's people I know, I do take it maybe too personally and get sad about it. Wow. You're on Dracula rules. I'm on Dracula rules, but I like to be invited, but I don't feel like I have to go. And the reason I think I don't get invited to a lot of stuff

is because I just like don't show up. I don't feel like I have to go. And the reason I think I don't get invited to a lot of stuff is because I just don't show up. I'll just not go. Because I like to stay home and go to bed at 10.30. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. When I see that I haven't been invited to a party, I'm like, oh, thank God. For me, it's nice to be invited,

but I'm also sort of like, I got everything I need at home. I don't gotta have a long conversation over a paloma at 11 o'clock at home. I don't gotta have a long conversation over a Paloma at like 11 o'clock at night. I'm good. I don't mind, I like leaving the house. I like going out and doing stuff. I'm doing that all the time.

Like so I don't necessarily, I'm not necessarily, I'm not like a homebody or a shut in. Go please. Yeah. Get out. But like specifically like, hey we're gonna go to someone's apartment and like hang out with a bunch of people.

You know, just like, I don't need to be doing this. I can do that at home. Yeah, how old am I? Unless it's built around like a super, like the Super Bowl or something or like, I don't even care about this. I went and watched like a boxing match at my friend's house because he was like, hey we're having the fight, huh?

And I was like, I'll go, oh, come eat. Yeah, that's fun, that's like an event. Come and eat some wings. There's a purpose to that. Yeah, and then just like walk home and leave whenever I want, that sounds fine. Yeah, parties are in the rear view. But that's not the party we're talking about.

No. This is a different sort of grouping. We're talking about the Libertarian Party. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha of the episode, but right now the question for the room is, what are you playing? What were you playing? It's me, the Resident Evil Merchant, and I'm here to ask you a question. It's not what are you playing. It's what were you playing? I wanna hear about RPGs that you guys probably

haven't talked to people about at length on a show before. Wow, that's a great way in Resident Evil Merch. You're welcome So not like a disco Elysium, which we've talked to death but something so that but an RPG we played or an RPG adjacent game We played that we've enjoyed that we maybe haven't Gone into any depth about yeah, and I don't want any Ruth Bader Ginsburg's in here. I don't want any oh It's Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Did you say Ruth Pater Ginsburg? Yeah? Yeah, no Her initials are not no PG. They're RBG. Oh right now. They're RIP by the way

You went the way of the dodo she's a freaking door now freaking door now. Somebody owes me money. Oh, that ass. You had a wager on that? Yep. You're way late on collection. I gotta get it. I think she died like three years ago.

It's been a while. You probably charge interest. I don't think that's how bets work. Hey, get me. I actually did win $30 betting on Antonin Scalia's the next Supreme Court justice to die, which was like eight years ago at this point, but that was a very satisfactory bet to pay off.

Yeah, that's probably the best $30 ever. Yeah. That's pretty good. Bet more. Yeah. Why'd you stop? Hey. Hey.

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I can go, because I don't have that much to say about these. I've mentioned these in passing, but I haven't spoken about them at length. I really, really was passing, but I haven't spoken at them about them at length. I really really was enjoying or I enjoyed Two South Park video games as a non South Park enjoyer. Okay. I don't really like to show that much Was not allowed to watch it growing up Oh that explains it because I was like you're the perfect age for South Park And then you're like, oh it was taboo that maybe you just never had a chance to get in it was taboo

And honestly like the times that I've seen it, maybe in recent years I haven't enjoyed it for different reasons, but even like old episodes that I've, like, when I would try to watch it as a kid, I would be like, I'm gonna get in trouble, I shouldn't be watching it, so I couldn't enjoy it. I was able to watch The Simpsons and Family Guy and Future Ami, I really liked those,

but South Park was never really my thing. But for some reason, I don't even know what got me into the games, The Stick of Truth and The Fractured Butthole are silly titles. And I don't know why I played them. I guess I must have read that somebody was like, this is surprisingly engaging and really fun. So I tried them out. They were critically well regarded at the time and they at least the first one sold pretty well

I only played the stick of truth, but I didn't finish stick of truth. Stick of truth is really great Yeah, and the reason I'm bringing it up. These are these are RPGs that they're kids. They're the South Park kids Not confident. I know all their names. I know there's Cartman, there's Kenny of course, Kyle, and Stan. You got him. Wow. Four for four. Okay, wow.

I guess. I guess you're a fan. I guess I freaking love South Park. I guess respect my authority. There you go, talk's a talk. I will say that I laughed out loud while playing the game. These games are actually genuinely very funny. It's the writers of South Park writing a video game.

A lot of love filled with jokes. And some jokes about video games themselves are fun. And they're in the style. There's a newer game recently came out called South Park Snow Day that is more of a 3D, I think, RPG, like, you know, action RPG. These are done in the style of the show, so it looks like you're watching the show, kind of,

but you're able to interact, you're able to, you know, control and interact within the world of South Park, so that's cool, too. But these games are RPGs, they're like playing, basically, like, they're LARPing, so it's kind of like a fantasy role-playing game in that regard, but it all takes place within the within South Park the first game is a turn-based game which is Fun to a point because you're sort of like gosh like so many turn-based games are too long like that's like some some of the stuff That's tough about revisiting the older Final Fantasy games

You're like gosh like these are really such a slog. The correction for that in the second one, the Fractured But Whole, is that there is a grid-based, it's turn-based, but it's also grid-based. So you're able to do sort of wider areas of attack, which I found to be way more satisfying than the standard, just turn-based, attack a guy, attack a guy, attack a guy. Fucking love grids. Grids are awesome.

Grids rule. How do you feel about grids, Heather? I don't know what you're talking about. Grid-based combat? So like, it'll be like... Tiles, you're seeing tiles? Yeah, not unlike a Final Fantasy tactics or something. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

But like, you don't have to be as tactical, I guess. I was like, what's a grid-based combat? But tactics, I guess. Yeah, so it's basically like that. So you have like have to be as tactical, I guess. It's like, what's a grid-based combat, but tactics, I guess. Yeah, so it's basically like that. So you have sort of like, if you attack one guy, it might not come back and hit another guy or something. Or you could have an attack that hits four guys at once, depending on where you place the attack.

And I just really, really enjoyed it. I think those games are super funny. I kind of wish they kept going in that style because I probably would have been more interested in a third entry in the South Park Games franchise without ever watching the movie or TV show But yeah, if you have not played those games, I feel like they're pretty good Maybe RPG entry points even because they're sort of reduced to very basic RPG elements where there's not like I

Mean there are a lot of menus in these games, too But there's it they sort of feel like RPG light kind of that you know if you're not much And you like South Park like a paper like a paper Mario It's like the mechanics are a little simplified the difficulty level are being very low I got like soup. I was playing on normal got like super overpowered very early And then yeah, it's just it's a high high quality level of writing a pretty compelling story. Yeah Yeah, I don't it would be an interesting. I mean that's interesting to hear that you're not a South Park guy No, but you still enjoyed these games

So I guess it is something that's that's approachable for someone's not they just they play well in the cannon they play well, and they're super funny and Those though you mean the thing about those kids, and I don't know if anyone's really talking about this They're really rude they're really rude right rude They're really rude, they're rude kids. In particular that the thing I the thing I remember is One of the things I remember is is that the one is that the game where there's an audio log Joe is that? I don't know which one that is. That sounds familiar.

But he's like, why am I saying all this into an audio log? Like he's just basically going through, it's like just talking about the video game trope of audio logs of like, oh no, the experiments are going awry. But he's just talking about why he's doing it. I do love that. I could be misconfling that was something else, but I feel like this is a South Park game. It's a good joke either way the other thing I remember is the The the character classes are like like fighter mage thief and then Jew

When you're creating a character in the game You can select a skin color and it tells you that it's going to make the game harder if you don't pick white Yeah, the the the darker you go with your skin tone the more difficult the game becomes me I made like Like Latino kid, and I was like is this game gonna be hard? It's not actually, it doesn't actually do it, it's just a joke that they did. But if they did that, that would've, I probably wouldn't have liked it as much. Probably some of that's,

that's some of that newer South Park stuff that maybe I, you know, I don't like that. Newer South Park stuff? There's like, sort of like newer South Park stuff that I see clips of, and I was like, so this is what South Park's doing now? What are they doing? Taking's like sort of like newer South Park stuff that I see clips of and I was like, so this is what South Park doing now? What are they doing? Taking the piss out of the news, I'll tell you that.

Oh. Having a laugh with the news. Oh, okay. I feel like that's what I knew that they did. That's the whole point of the show is like it's... Here's the thing, they're like... Records every week. They're getting crazy with it.

In what way? They're just like going off. I Feel like the news is pretty crazy on its own. I know that you don't eat South Park don't need to do that. Okay? All right, he'll stand to stay out of it, okay Kenny's keeping his fucking mouth shut Okay Heather is exasperated Kenny's keeping his fucking mouth shut. Okay. Heather is exasperated. Heather, what were you playing?

All right. That's fine. So I wanted to talk a little bit about a game that I think maybe I've mentioned in light passing on the show before. It's a Sega Saturn game called Dragon Force, which is a real-time strategy and role-playing video game that came out in 1996.

And the main selling point of this game was that there were 200 soldiers fighting on screen at the same time. You don't gotta have headphones for this, because I'm just gonna show you a little bit of what the combat looked like, on screen at the same time. You don't gotta have headphones for this, because I'm just gonna show you a little bit of what the combat looked like, because you would choose,

the way the game opened is there's a big map, and you would choose one of the cities, and you'd be like, okay, these are my guys. And then you would have like, your typical RPG battles where it was like, oh, I have a party. Instead you had troops and you would deploy those troops in formation and they would have to attack the other,

the other troops instead of it just being like three dudes against a monster. It's, when I saw the ads for it when I was a kid, I was like blown away. Because this came at a time when you never saw this many moving sprites on screen at the same time. Now, this kind of action is really rudimentary. But at the time, it looked crazy.

Reading from Wikipedia here, looked crazy. Reading from Wikipedia here, the battle scenes were often likened to the then recent film Braveheart. So people would be like, wow, it looks like Braveheart. And I wanna show you just a little bit of the combat system here from Dragonforce. a little bit of the combat system here from Dragon Force.

So you see sprites on one end of a huge field and sprites on another end of an enormous field and you would send your troops out onto the field and you would see them battling, sort of auto battling against the other players' troops. But again, it's a ton of bodies on screen and it seemed, it was crazy at the time to see it. It looks nuts. I was kind of prepared for it to look kind of bad,

but it's kind of good. It's pretty awesome. I love how it looks. So the, yeah, they are sprites and they're just scaled up or down based on where they are in relation to the pseudo 3D camera. But it's a pretty good effect in terms of like the rows of,

you know, like it works pretty well and the staggered rows of combatants facing off one another. And you would also have, individual fighters would have special moves where they'd be able to like throw huge fireballs or they'd be able to like fly up into the air and attack the rear line of the enemy troops.

At the time, this game was the most complicated thing I had ever played in my life. It looks like there's a lot going on. I was like, and it also came at a time when there weren't a ton of localized anime style games. And so the sprites in this game and the character art were all anime style. And I was like, wow, it's like getting to watch

one of those cartoons from Blockbuster. But yeah, it's one of those games that I kind of wish somebody would do again. Because the number of sprites you could make now would be infinite. And the sort of walk cycle and animation cycle on those sprites could be so much more lush that it could make for a really visually compelling game.

But yeah, highly rated Sega Saturn game. Nobody really talks about it. I still own my copy. And kind of a unique take on the RPG genre. Wow. The namesake of the band, was it the inspiration for the name Dragon Force? Do we know? I have no idea. I've never even thought about that.

I haven't even heard of the game. They, the band is, I mean, it sounds like it could conceivably have come from, but no, it's, I'm not sure. Anyway, that was really cool, Heather. I liked, there's a game I'd heard about, but I'd never actually seen footage of it in action. Dragon Force 1 Electronic Gaming Monthly Saturn Game of the Year and Strategy Game of the Year in 1996.

It was also runner up for the All Systems Game of the Year award. Wow. I thought I'd also reach back to the 90s for a JRPG that was on a different console. victor in that generation, the PlayStation 1, a square game from 1998 called Xenogears. Now I love this game and I don't think I've talked about it much on the podcast. It is a heavy, huge, plodding experience that'll probably never replay unless there's a remaster or there's a version that's heavily modded because famously slow text, you're dealing with PS1 load times.

It is a very like kind of a laborious experience but also like kind of like that's part of what's fun about it is just how overwhelming it is and this came at me at a time in my life where I could dedicate like this amount of mental real estate and just sheer time to an RPG. So basically what this game is, and I realized this later after we covered Evangelion on Get Animated, that it obviously owes some of its existence to it and is kind of similarly of a piece in that it's like this kind of a, this weird sci-fi world. It does take place on a different planet. It's not Earth, but it's like this sci-fi world where there are mechs and there is mech

combat and there is like also just generally kind of more melee style active time battle combat. But it also ties that in with all of these like dense thematic ruminations on religion and psychology and the internality of these characters and their history and characters with retrograde amnesia. In fact, and I meant to bring this art up, I'll maybe just show this. One of the characters, Ellie, has kind of, it's kind of a, I'll show this to you here, kind of just Asuka's character design. But the backstory is more akin to Rey's. So definitely it seems to, you know, it seems to owe some of its, again, some of its existence

to Evangelion. I really liked this game. I think the thing is, one of the things that's infamous about it is that it's pretty front-loaded. It starts off very strong. It goes on a little too long. In my memory, because of how huge it was, I was like, oh yeah, this game's like four discs, right? Then I looked it up again. I was like, no, it's just two discs. But the second disc

is like, just slows to a crawl. And a lot of it is like, just like dialogue and just text and just like, just you're sitting there just going through unending cut scenes. Pretty light in terms of gameplay. I believe there's some, and I don't know if this is true or not, but I believe there's some speculation that the development team kind of ran out of resources, and so that's part of the reason that it's not as well realized. But it's still cool, and also the most significant part of it is that it birthed the Zeno franchise, which has been, so this initial game has been completely dwarfed by its successor, Zeno Saga and Zeno Blade Chronicles. Now, as much as I love Zeno Gears,

I never really got much into Zeno Saga, like I messed around with it, but I was just like, it never really hooked me. And Zeno Blade Chronicles, which I've heard is awesome. I have not played any of those games. Anyone played Zeno Blade Chronicles? Heather played a little bit of three, right? Yeah, you were playing three.

Yeah, I played, I don't remember which ones I played, but I played more than one of them. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I was just trying to think back, I'm like, what haven't I talked about? And I figured I'd reach back into the memory banks for the good old Xenogears. Very cool game.

Isn't a huge amount of the second disc of Zenogears like philosophical conversations? It's like, it's like, again, there's a lot of stuff about about like psychology. So like the end, yeah, and philosophy has another big part of it. So they're like, just really kind of digging in deep on that. And it's just like a lot of it is, you know, pretty dense and exhaustive in a way where it kind of feels like this is a little bit, I don't know who it is, it's a cliche that's attributed to Mark Twain of like, I apologize for this letter being so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter, right? It's like, it's like, it's almost like a kind of thing of like, like, it feels like it needed

to be edited down a little bit but yes it does really go deep in the same sort of way that like you know I don't know like a lot of science fiction goes into like like what does it mean to be alive what it what is existence exactly and that certainly ties in with the ultimate fates of the characters you said that this this one is called Zeno gears Zeno gears so then that one made Zeno blade and Zeno saga is that characters. You said that this one is called? Xenogears. Xenogears. So then that one made Xenoblade and Xenosaga? Is that what the other one was?

Xenosaga, yes, and then Xenoblade Chronicles. You don't think this is responsible for the Xenobytes, do you? You couldn't think that. So what we're doing this week... Could you imagine if it was responsible for such a thing? Those guys are so bad. Is... I've called this let's get a party started What is xenobites? What is that what I mean you lost Nick? He's a means a seno bites. Yeah, that's what I meant

Zenobites I mean it's a nobody there's xenomorphs, and then I got that you were getting to seno bites seno bites are the demonic figures from the Hellraiser franchise Jesus but I thought you were constructing some of like a new portmanteau of xenobites but you're just misspeaking yeah I kind of fucked up okay fuck Fuck! Party like I feel like you know like RPG parties have gotten smaller over time. They used to be bigger Let's do three you think three total three. That's a small party. That's a tight. That's a tight party It's a big you guys talking about like on screen how many characters are on screen when you're being I overreacted It is usually three sometimes. It's three yeah Four I'm like in like Crown of Trigger and like the Final Fantasy games that I've played,

it is four, but like in Rebirth. Sometimes it's five, sometimes it's six. In Rebirth it's three, in Kingdom Hearts it's three. Yeah. It depends on what era of RPG and you know, how you're, what the combat is. Look, if you guys want four, I'll go four. I feel like classic is three, I think five's too much.

All right, we don't have to do five. We could do five. Okay, so we'll do a roster size of four for now. Here's a question I have for everyone. Can we draft protagonists? Sure. They are on the table, so if I was like, I want my party to have Cloud Strife, that's okay.

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, how about this? Are we in the party? What like is it our party? So you're one of the four people? Yeah, my like me and then it's my guys so then you have three Three it's still only three kind of you or the other person so like I'm kind of like Joker and persona Sure, like I'm like leave the guy who's like the lead of the party sure let's do it this is Really in the party. It's going to really change my answers. Well. Why don't we okay? We don't have to do that I'm just asking I'm going forward with my answers even though I now know that I'm in this party

I mean, I'm in the party as well So there's like a self-insert character that is like the player character And then there's also the protagonist and then and then you've got three other colleagues we're gonna get a fill out your role. It's a RPG party of four we're one of the four slots that's immovable and there are three other slots and those are the slots that were drafted. Yeah we're the protagonist that cannot be swapped out of the party you know maybe here's what I'm's what I'm gonna say, if we wanna say at the end, like, hey, on our back bench, we'd have these guys.

Imagine it's like one of those parties where you, one of those games where you can swap out members of your party. Yes. Maybe in a hub world, maybe on the fly, just depends on its implementation. But yeah, you can have a little bit of a bench if you want as well. Great. Great, sounds good. Sounds great.

I'm gonna say personally, I'm not just going for the most powerful item. Okay, do whatever you want. That's not my strategy. Do whatever you want. Cause you could build the most, you could just have the most OP party members. I think we can each take an approach

that we desire towards our party. I will, I'm just laying the groundwork for what my approach is going to be. I'm thinking about synergy. Okay. And I'm just saying laying the groundwork for what my approach is going to be I'm thinking about synergy Okay, and I'm also thinking about romance Heard to me that I could be part of the party so now I'm like spiraling I'm like spiraling. We allowed to be part of the party.

Also, this whole episode has, so like Nick was like, let's just discuss the rules when we get there. Yeah. And now I'm realizing all of this has been his attempt to back load us into Nick talking about girls in RPGs he wants to fuck. Yeah, this episode's called, Let's Get This Party Started, colon, Nick's Fuck roster.

That's not necessarily how I'm building my team. I'm just saying, I think that is an element, especially in more contemporary RPGs, but in a lot of RPGs, it's very often like, hey, what are my relationships between my party members? Of course. Yeah, so I think that's a factor. Well, then I think we should have ranch,

are they draft rules where if one of us picks one of the people, they can't be picked by anybody else? I think so, yes. Okay, then I think ranch needs to do a number countdown so that we know what order we're going in. Okay. Because I do think that'll affect who I pick first. That'll affect play I pick first.

That'll affect play. I will say I'm willing to go last if that simplifies things. Of course you are. Yeah, he's got some fucking sickos on his back. All right. Also, question, do these characters, for the sake of the show, do these characters have to have appeared in a game

where they could be party members? Or are you just taking characters from RPGs in general? Like is Link from Ocarina of Time? I think that's a cheat. I think it should have to be a party member. It should have to be someone who could be a party member in an existing game. You can mash them up. You can say I'm taking characters from different games

and putting them all into one thing. Great, great, great. I'm nervous now. What are you nervous about? Stay away from my girls. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's my boys I'm concerned about. Look, I will also say this. I have organized my candidates in a way where I think I'm not gonna be pulling other, like I was like, I think I know who some of you,

like the two of you, some of the characters who the two of you want. And I'm not trying to steal them from anybody. Also, I gotta say, the ability at which Ranch is able to construct a wheel for us. Yeah, we asked for a wheel live on the show as you listened, and then suddenly there is a wheel with graphics up on the television.

Pretty good wheel. It's a good wheel. All right, let's spin this sum, bitch. And we'll see who gets to draft their RPG party member first. We begin with Matt. Wow. Looks like Matt gets the number one pick. Okay.

So you'll be, are we gonna do snake style? We can do it snake style. Snake style. I mean, yeah, we should probably do it snake style. Okay, so you'll be the first pick, then it will be, you know, there'll be four more picks before you get your second pick. Yes. Think strategically. All get your second pick. Yes.

Think strategically. Alright, next up. Alright. Up next, is it going to be Nick or Heather? Oh my god. It looks like it's just barely landing in the Nick hemisphere. It is Nick. Wow.

Wiggs has a second pick. That means Heather will have two in the row as the third pick. Sounds good. Okay. All right, Matt, you're up. Okay, I didn't want to have to do this first. I am drafting Tifa and I will not be explaining. Wow.

Wow. Wait, you won't be explaining? What is the podcast without explanation? I feel like I said it all when I said I'm drafting Tifa first. That's it, that's it. She's everything to me. That's interesting.

Look, Tifa, love Tifa. I don't know if Tifa would be my first pick from Final Fantasy VII, but we're making our own list. I'm just I'm just making this conversation My man over here has the the stones Heather. Do you believe this? He's over here being like I'm gonna share my fuck list And he's like, oh you picked Tifa first. I wouldn't have done that. I didn't say it was it's not a fuck list. I Said romance is an element of building a party. It's other consideration Okay, what are my relations going to be between these characters and also it's not just romance

I can also it also be bromance also be who am I want to be friends with why is your list titled the bunker? No, I'm just Having fun, but Tifa Tifa is a great candidate for any RPG party. She's an incredible fighter. She's a very capable She's amazing. She's very powerful in remake. I did not play rebirth Like is it like the sort of thing, does her damage really scale up in that game? She got some really crazy punches in rebirth Really scale up in that game. She got some really crazy punches She's fucking flying or like in the same way that like cloud is flying around with a buster sword Yeah, she's going all over the place punching. She's going nuts. Yeah, there she is

Ranch is pulling up pictures of Tifa and she leaned backwards from her computer when she saw what comes up it when you search for Tifa Yeah, you look it up on the internet. It's gonna be bad No, these are just random regular screenshots none of this is pornography and she's still leaned back like it was That's like some deviant art with yeah Amazing drawing of course the search looks like you typed in Tifa NSFW But it's not it's just the default yeah, but the thing is Tifa is Just incredible and is fun is a fun ally to cloud they obviously have like a sort of They have a bit of a sort of you know They will they won't they really won't they what I meant to say yeah, will they dilly will they dally will they oh?

You weren't on the phone over the weekend when I said this Nick. I said dilly dally shilly shally out loud to my wife Why did you do that? I don't know she said what the fuck are you talking about? It's from a Final Fantasy movie I hate Okay, so it's so far my party is me and Tifa Wow, man, I Guess a Italian Parliament would be pretty happy with that photo I gotta say Italian Parliament would be pretty happy with that photo. All right.

That is one of the wildest things that have ever happened in history. I think it's my favorite news story. Reputation in case people don't. A guy was watching, like an Italian politician was on a zoom call was watching Like Tifa Hentai You want to vote for a candidate like see yourself in like an active but like an active member of their Parliament Yeah, not like a candidate like a putt like a parliamentary member

That's so crazy. It'd be like peering into C-SPAN and you see like some random dude for like the Republican from Missouri and he's just like watching Tifa get plowed. Oh my Lord, my Tifa. All right, here's the thing. I'm up. I have too many options.

I have a character I really like that I'm not drafting because I do think maybe this character will end up on my back bench if still available. I do think this character is destined for Heather's party and I think that character belongs there. I feel similarly about another one of my picks. I feel like they are destined for Matt's party and I expect to see them on the roster. I'm holding back on a couple of big choices, not out of a sense of, you know, benevolence, but just because I'm thinking

about like cohesion and I'm thinking about all the options that are available and I have too many as it is. So I think for that reason, where I'm going, where I'm landing. I can't believe this shit. He's unable to stop smiling, which you can't hear, but perhaps can sense in his breath work. I'm gonna stop you right there, Heather. You can hear it.

Yeah. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I need, my party needs both form and function. I need a character to occupy the frontline fighter role, but I also need a character to occupy the frontline fighter role,

but I also want a character who has a story arc, who, whose character evolves over the course of our relationship in this party. And I want a party member who I love. And so from a who I love. And so from a game I love, Baldur's Gate III, I am picking Bezel, Lezel. Wow. That's great.

I'm really happy for you. Yes. I'm really happy that this is your first member of your party. Lezel has, I just like the way, and this is one of those things where, Matt, your experience was you did not encounter this character. She was not in your party.

Yes. In both of my playthroughs, she was like consistently, you know, dealing so much damage up there with Gale in terms of raw DPS, and also just like such a fun character, like having like just a character with a completely different value system, a completely different culture who doesn't process thoughts and emotions in the same way.

Like basically, you know, like kind of, I mean functionally the character is kind of an alien. You know, the Githyankies are like just so completely removed from the rest of the realm in terms of just how they interact and again, what they prioritize. And Lézell is just like a really awesome character and I really enjoyed the course of both from a gameplay standpoint and from a story standpoint my time with this character in Baldur's Gate 3 so she belongs to my party. She was not in my first playthrough but I

got all the way up to Act 3 in a second playthrough that I fell off of that I'd like to get back to and she was my paramour in that one yeah and I tried to break up with her and she got really mad with me So I did not I'm remembering this now. Yeah, no, she's she's great I love that's the other that's the other thing that I need to emphasize. She is very mean and I do like She's mean and when I tried to see if she was interested in being a throuple with Halston She said no and that she would kill me. So I was like never mind She said no and that she would kill me so I was like never mind

Halston by the way very eager to be a third being a thrum It she's my queen in this in this one This is part of the issue with Baldur's Gate 3 is that that shadow heart is also very mean I was like fuck Yes, so many options carlac kind of mean yeah You know who's not mean? Gale. Gale was my husband in my second play through. Gale, a strong candidate. Gale would have made my second pick for Baldur's Gate 3,

but I can't go all BG3. I didn't get very far in this game because I had to drop it when the entire continent tried to kill me, but I did kick Gale out of my party for being a weirdo. Look he is weird. Yeah. Fucking get him out. You know who's not a weirdo? My first pick. Gentlemen, we had different assignments I think. Oh my god. I thought that we needed to win. Leading off my party that I am also a member of...

CHUCKLING ...playable for short, brief windows in both Final Fantasy VII, the original, and Final Fantasy VII, uh, rebirth, is Sephiroth. Wow. Because I want to be able to take on any challenge. I want to be able to stop any interloper.

And so I thought, I wanna put Sephiroth in my party. Sephiroth, for those of you who are at home listening to this episode and somehow don't know who he is, is a character from Final Fantasy VII who ultimately becomes the villain, but for a short amount of time is your friend. He is a very handsome man who is also disgustingly tall and wears a shirt that begins to button

underneath his rib cage. that begins to button underneath his rib cage. He's definitely a design that is significantly entrenched in the 1990s, but has become one of the most iconic video game characters of all time, and also, I believe, has canonically killed Mario? When he joined Smash Brothers. Yeah, when he joined Smash Brothers.

And given how strong, how nearly immortal Mario is, Sephiroth's ability to slay Mario means to me that he will be able to slay anything that we come across in the party where I'm giving him orders. (*both laugh*) Voiced by N'Sync's Lance Bass in Kingdom Hearts. Strange. Very strange.

Very strange. Very strange. I like it. Just to clarify the Smash Brothers lore, they are like dolls that have come to life. They're not, it's not actually Mario and Kirby. So imagine how powerful he is that he killed a doll. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's a great pick. And yes, you are on your way towards being OP, which I believe is your goal. Okay, back to me now, since we're going snake style.

Don't I go twice? You do go twice. Yeah, you're so excited to pick the next hot girl in your fucking party. Hold your horses here. We'll need another audio cue. My second party member, again, didn't understand the assignment.

From Final Fantasy XV, he is the protagonist, so I'm glad that we can include them. It's Noctis. And I would like to choose him from Endgame when he's a 40-year-old man. I got to play this one. He is, yeah, that first, that older Noctis photo. That's my guy.

Just beaten down by life. He looks, yeah, he looks a little bit like a Hideo Kojima character. Yes. When he's older. Noctis can control multiple weapons that he can conjure in the air. So unlike most Final Fantasy protagonists or characters at large who have to physically

hold their swords, he is surrounded by a ring of weapons that represent the great kings of old, and he can command them like summons to do his bidding. I fucking loved Final Fantasy XV. So yeah, I've got two dudes in my party who are both very, very strong. Yes, I was laughing there because Ranch is making like our rosters and she wrote noctis parentheses 40 plus.

He's an older gentleman. Looks like he's on his way to family court. Trying to negotiate for an additional weekend. Yeah. A great pick, a couple of characters, both from the Final Fantasy franchise. Back to me, okay. When I think of great RPG party members,

I had to include someone from the Mass Effect franchise. I had a few different candidates, but the character quests and the backstory that you get, all the context, all the dialogue, all the, again, the romance options are so strong in the Mass Effect franchise and there's some characters I really, really like. But where I ultimately landed is a character akin to Lae'zel. I'm talking of course of Tali Zora Naraya aka Tali. Ranch, if you just want to being T-A-L-I. That should bring it up.

Tali Mass Effect. So here's the thing about Tali. You never see her face. She's a member of the Quarian species and their lore is so cool and her character design is so cool. She's wearing an opaque mask throughout the game, throughout the trilogy. And basically what's happening in it is, the source of that is the quarians or space nomads who because they have lived for generations aboard these sterile spacecraft, their immune systems have weakened over time to where they have to wear this protective basically biohazard like these biohazard suits at all times to prevent themselves from exposure to dangerous pathogens.

And so you're kind of talking to this organic matter but who's inside like a cybernetic shell and that's all of your interactions. Also a very powerful character kind of occupies like I've ever been in a situation where I need a door unlocked or a computer hacked. I know Tali can handle it, which you never know what might happen in an RPG. You never know what kind of scenario we might find ourselves in. Also has this like Lae'zel because of her culture, has this unique value system, this

unique culture, and just like a cool voice. I should have pulled the name of the voice actor, but the performance is really, really good. It's a really cool accent. I don't know. I mean, it's just an awesome character, and like with Lae'zel, I love her. I think that this image that you've pulled up

is really evocative and cool. Like her design is kind of sterile and intimidating with the mask and the sort of like breathing apparatus or whatever here on her face. I will say that it also does sort of evoke the classic blow-up doll face. All right, wait, hold on a second. Hold on a second.

It's a breathing mask. Also, Ranch is highlighting this. It's a ventilator. One of the things that's, one of the first things that pops up auto-generated in Google is hips. Look, some people are horny. I can't control people being horny. Tally's mass effect hips.

And making mods to expand the waistline of a particular character. That's something I can control didn't you didn't say she was pulling a wagon dog Oh, she got that wagon a Great pick you know I got pretty into the first Mass Effect when the legendary collection came out and just kind of bounced off Of it. I should really revisit it because I was really enjoying it. Cool ass games. So back to me. Now look, I've in thinking about this, I, because I made a list and in thinking about it, I left, there was a glaring omission that I'm now about to correct and I don't know

where this falls within the rules and we're just going to have to figure this out in real time. I'm adding Charizard to my roster. Wow. Because in the Pokemon games, you're a player character, but you have a party of six Pokemon, which is effectively an RPG party. Yeah. And they all have different abilities. they serve different purposes. They've got hit points. They have abilities It's arguable that it I mean, it's definitely an RPG So putting Charizard in your party is I think accepted by the committee Why do you want to fuck Charizard?

I'm just thinking about how cool it would be to have Charizard as my friend and pet and then go places on him fly around with my wife Tifa. I really thought we were doing a different thing today. Yeah. Also, Charizard is just fucking cool. Yeah Also Charizard is just fucking cool It's basic cuz he's like the like number one Pokemon like everybody thinks Charizard is cool. They snapped on his design I don't know what you want like he's like he he looks awesome. He does look rad. He gets extremely strong He he rules and he's a good friend in the anime. He's a great friend. You're kind of a...

I like your party. You got Tifa and Charizard. You're kind of approaching like Game Master Anthony territory. Just like having a big birthday party and every cool character from video games is there. But that's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. Nick's coming for my list for some reason. No, I think that's great. I love that. He's coming for my list. He's sitting No, I think that's great. I love that. He's coming for my list. He's sitting there, doing his thing.

I'm not judging. I didn't know we could fuck our party around. You can in certain games! Romance is an element. I was trying to play, I was like, who's going to be the strongest guys? Now this next piece... I think my party is still pretty strong from that standpoint. Can you open the door for me. I

Need this door open Well, it's not the only there's also combat's another element. That's true. I thought we were just making fighting dudes I think there's more to role-playing than combat you you you need to tell me I'm about to get in a fight my best friend Charizard and Tifa my wife have my back I don't have to do a goddamn. You're actually yeah, you're I think you're in good shape I think those characters are pretty talking about who's OP I got Charizard. Yeah, no I get it I have a final pick as well and Can you just make the case for for?

Four picks real quick you want to do a fourth for for for pics real quick you want to do a fourth I guess we just get one more and we close it all right fine three is fine I'll just say well I'll just say some of my other options yeah okay we're here for another two hours I'm just gonna say like we can only do that's fine because we're the fourth it's fine yeah we did this already I know but I'm just saying we could have another member of their party we can maybe romance oh my god well I'm just saying we can have another member at our party. We can maybe romance. Oh my God. Well, I'm done with that part of it.

The next are just, they're purely functional. Yeah. And this is a tough because like there's so many characters from this game that I could pick that would be a home run in any roster. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like I have to pick the strongest character in any RPG ever made.

And that is specifically Wizard Donald from Kingdom Hearts. Wizard Donald Duck. I was wondering which Kingdom Hearts poll you would have because I figured one would be in there It is it is wizard Donald up until the recently added Final Fantasy 16 DLC. Yeah Donald had previously cast the most powerful spell in any Square Enix game Wow And then it is now Whatever the boss is in the DLC. But yeah, look at him.

He's so freaking cute. What was that spell that he cast? I can't remember what it was, but he, I mean, he's tough. He won't ever heal you, but he will, he'll drop you on, he'll drop an enemy on their ass, certainly. True, it's true. Your health meter will be low. So, do you run any risk that Tifa's going to leave

because of the way Donald acts and sounds? Well, I think, you know, Tifa's used to walking around with Kate Sith in Red 15, you know. I don't think Donald's gonna Yeah And he's like a he's grumpy, but like he's kind of fun He's got cool nephews do you use any chance Charizard is like oh no at wild Psyduck has appeared and just like starts attacking Donald that's pretty tough

Pokemon typically don't attack their fellow party members. Right, right, right. He would know that like, okay, we're on the same team. This is a friend, yeah. So I think, so I'm looking pretty good here. It's me, Tifa, Charizard, and Wizard Donald Duck from Kingdom Hearts. I think your party, Matt, I think your party is great,

and you're also firmly in Game Master Anthony territory. That's okay, this is good. It's gonna be, here's the thing, I don't know who that is. Yeah, neither do I. Oh my God, that's just good. It's gonna be, here's the thing, I don't know who that is. Yeah, neither do I. Oh my God, it's a god. I'm about to have the worst night of my life, I think. No, this is like the most beautiful, earnest meme ever.

And then there was a later interview with Game Master Anthony that someone tracked him down, but he had this post that is basically like, it's my birthday today. Every character from every movie video game and TV show comes in for a reality comes in for a huge party It was something like that. That's great. I read verbatim and then he and it's just like I was such a perfectly earnest post Oh, I see it. It's my birthday today, and I'm 33. That means only one thing bring it in guys Yeah, every character from every game comic cartoon TV show movie and book a reality come in and with everything for a huge party

And then it's like Mario link Some other guy Mega Man and Sonic the fourth wall has shattered. It's basically like I Like that but that put because that's also like an early forum post right like early 2000s or maybe from the late 90s I don't know when exactly February 28th 2008 oh so it's it's later than I thought yeah post subject uh-oh, but it does kind of Anticipate where culture is headed of just like you know what every everyone is here Probably loves fortnight. Yeah, I must god bless on with that nothing wrong with it of just like, you know what, everyone is here. Let's all speak some more. Game Master Anthony probably loves Fortnite.

Yeah, I must. God bless him. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with it. All right, it's back to Wiggs. I got so many options here. But I think I have to think about party composition a little bit.

I've never seen an iPad that like physically unscrolls like an ancient tome. Somehow you've done that to your iPad. Guy's about to say scratch from Baldur's Gate 3. It's like, it's hit the floor like Santa's list. He's gonna say it like a minion from a game I made. My battery's at 14%, I've been podcasting for eight hours. I lost my mind.

Okay, let's see. First off, Matt, the character I was saving for you, that I'm honestly, I'm shocked you didn't draft this character. I was certain you were going to get your little guy, Frog from Chrono Trigger. Frog was on the long list. Here's the thing. These lists were long. We could have used a fourth slot if I had a fourth slot. Yeah The best friend slot like my guy my ride or die. It's frog, baby

But but frog is not my pick and we'll see if I got the composition of your party We like that fucking video of the monkey. Oh, good heavens. Hold on. The video of the monkey. Don't look it up. We'll see if the character that I expect Heather to draft, although now with this strategy, I'm not sure if that's gonna be taken either,

is taken with her final slot, but the character I'm gonna go with is partly functional, but partly I just have a lot of affection for this character. You've got to have a healer, and there's a great healer who's very, very powerful from a great RPG, a classic RPG, one that recently got a remaster. I am talking, of course, of Princess Peach from Super Mario RPG Legend of the Seven Stars Wow, Peach is a cool character that game rips you thought that was gonna be on my list No

I have another character that I think that you might pick that I was I was I had on my own long list But I decided to reserve in case you took it in case you wanted to take it Princess Peach if we look for the the super mario RPG character model I think super mario RPG just search for that I like that you're being specific about the art used in an image that nobody will see Well these don't get posted this is just for us. That's funny. We can post it That's from the remaster, but that one will play but yeah,, any of those will work. That one will play, it's for us, dawg. All right, well, fuck whatever. We've gone crazy.

Oh, no. She's so cute. Princess Peach is extremely cute. She's great. And her look is so cute. I wish they hadn't just slightly modified the dimensions of her face for the Super Mario Brothers movie.

And on top of that, I have a bunch of other complaints about the way they've changed video game characters, and we'll get into later. Anyway, that's my pick. That's a great pick. Princess Peach specifically from Super Mario RPG. I kinda thought it would be funny to draft Mario, just like playing Mario.

I thought about, if I was gonna take a character from Super Mario RPG, I was thinking of possibly picking Bowser, because it just blew, did blow my mind that you could have Bowser in your party. And he's cool. He is cool as hell. But no, I went with Peach. And I think again, you gotta think of some of that

healer role, someone in the support role. All right, Heather, it falls to your final pick. Heather's assuming we have to kill God, so. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The final member of her RPG party comes from the video game, Final Fantasy VIII. By the way, this game has one of the coldest openings of all time.

It's so good. And it was one of those things where they released, I feel like they released the movie, like they released the opening cinematic online, like a pre-YouTube video era. And I just remember watching the shit out of that. Yeah, it was a staggering opening of, and it was the most realistic CG we had ever seen

anywhere on planet Earth up until then, and it was the opening of a video game. But I'm not picking the protagonist from Final Fantasy 7, 8, sorry, Final Fantasy 8. I am picking the antagonist. I'm picking Adia, who can be in your party for a short amount of time while playing the game. BOTH LAUGHING

Because, again, I thought we were gonna have to go fight with these guys, so I wanted strong guys. That... She is pretty, at least. She's a pretty lady. Yeah, but Heather, that's not the exercise. It is interesting that they, like, cause Sephiroth is such an iconic looking character, right?

And I don't think I've ever seen this character before in my life. Do ya? Yeah, but they snapped on this design too. I, Final Fantasy VIII, I,III, I finished that game on PlayStation 1. I really like Final Fantasy VIII. I don't think it's a perfect game, but I think it's really cool.

I think it's full of ideas. I do think the character designs are awesome. I think mechanically, you know, it's got some issues, but I do think it's a rad game. I do think it's become a little bit underrated. I agree. For a time in the 90s and early 2000s, Final Fantasy VIII was my favorite Final Fantasy game.

I really liked the world, which was not techno grungy, like Final Fantasy VII, and it wasn't specifically just high fantasy like Final Fantasy X. Or nine. Or nine, it was something very specific and strange and in between. Yeah, right. That felt a little bit like hanging out

in a European shopping mall. Like it was like a huge Y2K aesthetic, lots of bubbly design, lots of like soft edges. It was like, it looked kind of like a Bjork album cover. That's a good way of looking at it. I also think it's one of Uematsu's best scores. Like the music is so good, what you just played there,

but also like Balamb Garden, and that environment also speaks to where you're, you know, that's a great track, but the environment that it's played in, like speaks to what you're, you know, that's a great track, but the environment that it's played in, like speaks to what you're talking about aesthetically, yeah, it's just a really, really bizarre and specific sort of feel to the environments. Yeah, it's like kind of, it's like you can't really

place it in a specific time exactly, but that's part of what's compelling about it. Yeah, it's got like, cars in it. Like you can, instead of Chocobos, yeah, you go to the moon. Instead of Chocobos, which you can ride in it, you can also just rent a car, like a regular car, and drive it around the overworld.

But yeah, between these three people, we've got, you know got Sephiroth can take on anybody he wants, one of the strongest bros of all time. Noctis is an extremely noble fellow with a command of the 12 greatest weapons of history. And then Adia can collapse time and destroy existing reality. So I feel like we'll be able to take down anybody, especially if it's like a dragon or like a gork.

Yeah, that's no problem. I took this solo leveling approach to my RPG party. That's a great, I mean, look, you're definitely just going in terms of raw horsepower. I think you're doing quite good there. I don't think any of them are going to talk to me. I think I'm having a blast with my party. They are going to sit on opposite sides of camp. They aren't going to talk to each other and they are not talking to me.

At least two of them are gonna be monologuing constantly The character I thought you might pick and actually kind of expected to be a lock for your roster was was Kim Kutsuragi from Disco Elysium I do like Kim. I do like Kim. I love Kim such a great was such a well-written character I think that if Kim found out that I was the one who played Harry the way I did, Kim would leave the party. Because he was so angry with me by the end of that game. I didn't have a character from, it's tough with only three slots, I didn't have a character from an Atlas game.

I thought about a couple. One I did think about was Borgana from Persona 5 who's the the feline familiar who's not actually a cat. Partly because just nice to have someone the guide role, but also I just love how Morgana says looking cool Joker. That is cool. And I think about someone saying looking cool Weiger, and it makes me happy. Well they'd say tiger now wouldn't they? I guess hey, they could. That would be no problem with that. Juna from Metaphor, Refantaz Tazio, recency bias ahoy. But Juna, who is a character you get fairly late in the game, such an incredibly fun party member in the combat.

The two job classes that you primarily would occupy if you're just playing her, quote unquote, the right way, mask dancer and faker, the primary role is debuffing. And it's just really, really fun to just do all these things to just fuck with your enemies Also a really valuable character in any combination cool gear and animations And I love her and then also Lulu from Final Fantasy 10 was someone else. I was thinking about if I want like a Black mage sort of like you know DPS magic user role

And yeah very much the goth GF meme Lot of great options so there's just going through this I was like man It's so fucking hard to narrow it down thinking about all the great NPCs you get you party up with over the years That's the great thing about RPGs though because obviously like there are a lot of great standalone characters that are just in solo Like video games, you know the sole protagonist of a video game But when you have an RPG party you have so many different characters, and they all bring different dynamics to the game It's super. I love that kind of I guess I would call it world building who is the guy from Heather from from Final Fantasy tactics

There's like who there's like a super OP Sid Sid yeah, yeah like like like like That's one guy I was thinking of just when I was looking at your Final Fantasy characters were all super powerful. I almost replaced Noctis with Sid. Yeah. But I was like, I really love Noctis. I just want him around.

I can't believe you guys haven't played 15. I love it so much. I think I have it installed on my PS5. I should see what's going on there. Yeah, Nick, you've spent your entire life playing Final Fantasy games It's it's shocking to me that you skipped it well I just said they kind of hit me at a time in my life when I just I didn't have time for it and they just never came back for it I should have put the the

With a fucker and our backlog thing we did a while back No, I'm sure I would love it. I'm sure it'd be really tremendous. I've thought about playing 15 again. Wow. Even though it's like, you know, 120 hours or whatever all these games are. Probably why I haven't started it.

I don't think it's actually 120 hours. Okay, I'll probably start it tonight. All right, hey, that was a, let's get a party started. Matt, let's do a segment. All right, it's time for the bargain bin. Everybody, here's $15, one for you and one for you. And none for Ranch, sorry. Ranch, you can have $15 too, you can have my $15.

Ranch, can you, I to you can have my 15 We have to address this meme of an old cowboy that was a full screen for a second And she has a text thread called Survivors Unanimous. And the image that is in the text thread is of an old man sitting on a barrel, holding a cowboy hat and a piece of rope. And there's no context for this image. You guys are shocked by it for some reason. I'm just taking this in stride.

This seems about right. I got me. Yeah Just I'm just enjoying it Really good also, I mean off of the cap with kind of a howdy partners. It's nice. Yeah, this cowboy one yee-haw for you good Yeah, this cowboy won yee-haw for you good sir But this is this is the bargain bin and so everybody has $15 Wow to spend on the following video games As they would as they would like it and these are all RPGs Wow from various generations Wow, okay? So in the $5 tier we have Yakuza Like a Dragon, The Witcher 3, Persona 5 Royal, and Dragon Quest XI. Oof.

In the $4 tier, Skyrim, Mass Effect, Demon's Souls. That the world may be mended. And Fallout New Vegas. and fallout new vegas in the three dollar tier Diablo 2 mother 3 Kingdom Hearts 2 and Final Fantasy 10 in the $2 tier rice final fantasy 7 system shock 2 Pokemon red and blue and planescape torment in the $1 tier chrono trigger Super Mario RPG lunar eternal blue Eternal Blue, and Heroes of Might and Magic. Wow, okay.

I'll go first, because I actually think this is pretty easy. I think the biggest challenge for me is in the $1 tier. I mean, Chrono Trigger for $1 is the bargain of a lifetime. I can't, like, that's one of my favorite games of all time. I don't think I can pass that up. And I think I am just gonna pick one from each category because I see a winner in each one.

I'll take Chrono Trigger for a dollar. Although I do like all of those games. And if I wanted to be pedantic about genre, I would say Heroes of Bight and Magic, more of a strategy tactical game. I'm saying that, Matt, in case someone else says it on the comments, and I'm just saying, I already said it, so you don't need to say it.

You don't need to point out. You know what, actually? Fuck yeah, you know what? Keep your fucking mouth shut. I Googled RPGs, and guess what? It came up. It's close enough for me, and the Might and Magic franchise is an RPG franchise.

So let's just say that's an awesome game. I'll take Chrono Trigger. The $2 one is a little bit challenging, because system shock 2 is is and finally 7 or so great But I got to go with Planescape torment one of my favorite games of all time $3 tier I'm going with Diablo 2 the game. I put so much countless hours into $4 tier I got I go with Mass Effect and Up and although I am tempted to take fallout New Vegas and and try to actually finally get through that whole thing And the $5 tier a lot of good options

the two I finished up here are persona 5 royal and Dragon Quest 11 I Think I got to go with persona 5 royal. I think the game is just an absolute masterpiece and the vibes are incredible So that'd be my five persona 5 roll and descending order persona 5 royal Mass Effect Diablo 2 Planescape torment and Chrono Trigger and you know what I got enough game in the last 10 years right there Matt do you want me to go second or do you want to go second you need a little more time? No, I'm ready to go go for it. All right, so I'm gonna get one from each tier, just like Nick.

We're going Chrono Trigger for $1, Final Fantasy VII for $2, Mother 3 for $3, Demon's Souls for $4, and Persona 5 Royale for $5. Wow. Mother 3 is so good. I really hope that the Switch 2 either did or will come out close to when I hoped it did so that I can get you guys to play that game. We either know or we don't. Who could say?

Who knows? Maybe we already played it. Maybe we did. In which case, your choices won't make any sense because you should have just bought five copies of Mother 3. All right. So the five dollar tier actually is pretty tough because these are all at least I've started at least three of those games a couple of times. I got furthest in Persona 5 Royal. I would like to finish that, but I Something about Dragon Quest 11 is

Aspirational to me. I need to start it over again and and just and see it all the way through because I think it rules And I'm at game. I really really love it. So Dragon Quest 11 from $5 tier. I'm going Demon's Souls for the $4 tier you know I can't skip out on Kingdom Hearts 2 and the $3 tier the $2 tier tough Two games in there. I really really love I gotta go with Pokemon red or blue, but I had the red version So I'm gonna go with red. Sorry Final Fantasy 7. I just you're newer to me and in the $1 slot I see my boy frog don't I Chrono Trigger baby the other options. Sorry dollar tier It's tough. That's a tough one, but Chrono Trigger simply one of the greatest to ever do it,

and we love it. Wow. Ranch, if you had to pick some, do you wanna pick? Do you know any of these? Do you wanna pick some of these games, Ranch? I'll give you $15. Ranch looks both delighted and annoyed. Tell us more about this cowboy.

Just gotta get back into her rodeo group chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, that's this week's Get Played. Our producers are Richelle Chen, Ranchyard underscore sard. Our music is by Ben Prunty, benpruntymusic.com. Our art is by Duck Brigade Design, duckbrigade.com. And hey, check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash get played

where you can find our entire pre-Headgum back catalog plus ad- free main feed Episodes and also our patreon exclusive show get animate where we dig deep on Series and also watch movies all that stuff is real real good Patreon comm slash get played that's the thing that I think yeah We should be probably said more that stuff on get animated is real real real good It's real real good, and you know what I think we all got played actually I think we all got played because Nick had a totally different intention for this episode hold on I

Definitely got played Not horny Lost Matt my chest hurt that was a head gum podcast hi I'm Jesse Klein and I'm Liz Feldman and we're the hosts of a new head gum podcast called here to make friends Liz and I met in writer's room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us.

It's true. Because life has imitated ours. And then it imitated life. Time is a flat circle. And now. We're making a podcast that's about making friends. And we're inviting an incredible guest like Vanessa Barrett Wow, I have so much to say Lisa Kudrow feelings. They're a nuisance Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi

Rogers I'm like on the verge of tears so good so good to join us and hopefully become our friends in real life Take it out of the podcast studio and into real life along Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating. Yep. Spousing. True. Parenting. Career-ing. Yeah. And why we love film, and Louisa is the greatest movie of all time. Shouldn't need to be said.

No, we said it. But it's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to Make Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, I host the HeadGum podcast, We're Here to Help with my partner, Gareth Reynolds.

We're Here to Help is a call and advice show. Think car talk from back in the day. We're determined to help fix life's dumbest problems. We also have guest helpers join us from the entire cast of New Girl to Michael Cera, Andy Sandberg, Jimmy Kimmel, just to name a few. So do me a favor and come check out an episode and then bounce around our catalog. We're over 150 episodes so far, so there's plenty of stories for you to discover. Subscribe to We're Here to Help on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

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