Get Played - How Did Nick Get Played: Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal
Episode Date: January 26, 2026Heather and Matt dig in on "Nick's Favorite Game" Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayed...podMusic by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at getplayedpod@gmail.com Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Guys, great news, great news.
The game that we have just published, Sanran Cagora, is doing really surprisingly well at retail.
and online sales are pretty robust.
So I think we're in the clear.
I think this company is going to turn a profit.
I've got some worried looks, though, at the table here.
I don't know.
Maybe you didn't hear me.
No, it's great that it's selling great.
Yeah, it's selling pretty good.
What do you want to hear?
You're pretty good.
It's not number one.
It's not last.
It's nice.
No, but it's not enough.
We're kind of, we're absolutely fucked.
We're eating shit on that.
this one right now.
Whoa,
whoa,
what are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
I have a lot writing on this.
What do you mean?
Why?
I mean, it's,
first off.
I put points against my house.
You what?
I put points on the,
on the back end of this game
against my house.
We have to hit a certain threshold
monetarily or else we're fucking fucked on this,
okay?
We spent a lot of,
a lot of money on this game.
We have to make it all back.
Or I gotta say goodbye to my fucking house.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
okay, first off,
maybe this is a relative,
Maybe you come from a smaller publisher, you know, I'm not really familiar with your resume.
But this was not a AAA game.
No.
Like, we didn't need to spend a lot of money.
I've looked at the asset list and, you know, you have some pretty basic textures.
You only got like six character models.
I think we're going to be okay.
No, you don't fucking get it, do you?
Have you seen the jiggle physics in the game?
We put it all in the jiggle physics.
I'm sorry, you what?
We put it all.
What is what is it and what is all?
The money.
All the money.
You spent, can I, okay, let me look at, let me look at some of these numbers.
Hold on, hold on.
Because we're, again, I'm, I, let me say, let me say this.
Let me say this.
I did notice the jiggle physics.
I thought they were pretty good.
I thought they were pretty good.
Pretty good.
That's all pretty good.
I didn't spend half a fucking trillion dollars on jiggle physics.
You spent what?
You spent what?
All the money.
You spent $500 billion on the jiggle physics for our 3DS game?
I told you the money's on the screen, and it had to pop off the screen in 3D.
On the screen, there's no game, like the most expensive game in history, I think, was $400 million.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Did you see the jiggle physics in those games?
I didn't think so.
There was no jiggle physics in those games.
Exactly.
That shit costs money, honey.
$500 billion.
Oh my God, I'm looking at our spreadsheet.
We are in the red, so red that we're in the black.
The fuck were you thinking?
It's gone so negative.
It went all the way back around the positive.
We're fucked.
We got to figure out how to make money.
We're going to have to make DLC.
We're going to have to make like, we're going to have to make like outfits or something.
We're going to have to charge 90 nights.
What do you mean you can't?
What are you talking about?
We were to put so many fucking outfits in the game.
There's no other new outfits we could put.
You put outfits in the game?
Yeah.
What, to highlight the jiggle physics?
To highlight them to put about grand display.
Oh my God.
And you're probably thinking there's probably only one cut of underwear and there.
There's multiple cuts.
What are you talking about?
Smaller.
Less.
You put that in the game free so we can't even charge for anything?
We put it in for free.
Fuck.
Oh, God, we put it in for free.
All right.
All right, I've got a plan.
I've got a plan.
We're going to reuse these assets for 20 years.
We're going to make so many Senran Cogra games that will make back.
the money eventually.
I got to tell you something.
What are you talking about?
What do you have to tell me?
We're making these games for the rest
of our fucking life
to get out of the hole that we dug.
And anybody could
have stopped me at any time, by the
way, I didn't have to
put all the money into jiggle physics,
but I just kind of went nuts with it.
Went a little crazy with it. I just could see how far
I could go. Anybody could stop me.
Nobody said a goddamn word.
And now I'm some fucking
pervert for putting him all, spending all the money, some idiot pervert for putting all the money
in the jiggle physics, nobody fucking stopped me, I don't know how many fucking people work here,
I could have got stopped any goddamn time.
I'll tell you what, after this meeting, the only people who work here is going to be you and me
because I have to fire everybody else in the entire building.
Let me take a look at these physics.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's actually, that's so bad now.
When you put it like that, oh yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We hack and slash and booyoyo-yo-yo-yo-y-y-ing as we play Sen-Ren-Ran, Nick's favorite game on this week's Get Played.
Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between.
It's time to get played.
I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Matt Apodaka.
Hello, everyone.
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premiere video game podcast, where this week, we are short one host.
That's right.
We're short one host, but he has left his mark on the show today.
I have an email here that I would like to read from him.
It says, hey, guys, sorry I'm going to miss the show.
But as a little treat, I would love you to play my favorite game of all time.
and then he provided us all with paid links.
Yes.
He bought us all this game.
Yeah.
That's a real salute and a shout out to our third host who couldn't be with us today.
And he's got it like that.
What?
Money?
Yeah.
He's got the bag.
He's kind of, he's loaded with cheddar, bread, etc.
Yeah.
And he's able to sort of gift us a game.
Yeah.
That's not nothing.
The truth is, I had not heard of this game before.
Nick went on and on.
I mean,
I could read the whole text thread.
The email is really long,
yeah.
But he was going on and on a text thread
to and he was replying to its own text.
So it was kind of getting lost in the sauce,
as they say.
He seems to have sort of an extensive knowledge
of this game that we're covering the day.
And hey,
I'm sure we'll have thoughts about it too.
Because that's the kind of podcast we do.
It would be funny if we shared none of our thoughts.
We played it and we just went,
we played it.
And that's it.
And then just kind of sit silently.
we played it you know a little behind the curtain here alternately uh the take for this episode could have been
yeah we really wanted nick to feel bad that he missed the show yes and so we played a game that
we knew he loved yes or would love um and then and then we and then we played it without him yeah but
the fact of the matter is that's not what we did and he actually we did just decide because you know what
he also he left like an audio note and it sounded like he was about to cry he had tears you
You can sort of hear the tears sort of welling up and your throat gets really dry.
Yeah.
Like the moisture from your throat has to go somewhere and I think it comes out of your tears.
Which is also saying a lot because as far as I know, the last time he cried was canonically 16 years ago or something like that.
I think so.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Long time ago.
Yeah.
Not in the recent, you know, not in the rearview mirror, as it were.
Yeah.
It's when he slid down a banister like a spy and then hit himself in the balls on the, on the,
on the part at the end.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he cried because it didn't hurt enough.
Yeah.
He wanted it to hurt and it didn't hurt.
So he started crying.
Yeah.
I thought that would have hurt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Direct quote from the transcript.
Yeah.
But anyway, Nick's not here.
He's on assignment.
I like that a direct quote from the transcript
implies that Nick has a black box.
Yeah.
Like a constant voice recorder going.
I think for someone like Nick,
You need proof of what you've said and what you haven't said.
Yeah.
So Nick's on assignment.
Look, he's on a dough boys tour.
Yeah, he's on a dough boys tour.
He's in my hometown of Chicago.
It was frustrated by the restaurants they chose to cover.
But, you know, they've been in Chicago before.
They've covered some of my faves.
Yeah.
I just wanted to see him get in the grit.
I know they posted this on the doughboy social media.
But I feel like we've got to talk about it.
What?
Nick spilled on a plane that wasn't moving
wasn't in the air
wasn't nothing
nothing was going on
what it appears to have happened is he put his coffee
on the floor
and then stepped into his own aisle
he yeah I can't
you know what that's interesting we'll have to ask him about this
exactly how it happened
because my interpretation
he said that it fell
and it landed like just completely
face down like or you know
you know, top down.
Fell from where?
Well, this is the thing, isn't it?
Somewhere irresponsible, right?
I could imagine it on the arm of the airplane.
You know, he was probably in business class.
So he had his own little arm.
Yeah.
Probably, I'll just put it here real quick.
Fucking, probably hip-checked it.
Yep.
Sent it flying.
What also bothers me about it is the thought that I realized upon seeing this spill.
Yeah.
That the floor of airplanes is just spills.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah.
Like, and it has never been wet vacked.
No, it's probably the worst place on earth the floor of the airplane.
It's probably fucking disgusting.
Yeah, yeah.
The coffee probably burned off some of the, you probably actually did it a service if we're thinking about it.
I've also heard that they don't clean their coffee pots very often.
That you should never order coffee on an airplane.
Yeah.
Well, don't order anything that requires dishes to be made.
No, that's tough.
That is, that is tough.
I would go for, you know what, I would go for a tea.
Okay.
even though we're getting, you know,
microplastics in the tea bags or whatever.
It feels like a safer bet.
We're just burrowing into our own brains with plastic.
I think Nick should have been duct taped to his chair,
like the people who couldn't remember how to behave on airplanes after COVID.
I think he should have been restrained so he couldn't spill further.
They opened the plane door and just fucking the shining style,
like liquid just pours out of it down the fucking inflatable slide.
God.
It's not a water landing, but it's classified as one because of all the liquid he's built.
We miss Nick.
We do.
We do.
It feels like an empty chair in more ways than one.
That's right.
Well, in the main way that nobody's sitting in it.
Yeah.
That's mostly how it's empty.
We've done this, though, before.
We've, we've had an okay time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I'd say, later.
better time than when Nick's
I would say, yeah, I would say
it's less antagonism.
Yeah, yes, because it's now,
because I, here's, here's the real thing.
I can get away with stuff when Nick's here.
When it's just one-on-one, I got to fall in line.
I got to,
I gotta show a little respect.
Well, I feel like,
I feel like you can take shots.
Take shots.
I can take shots.
Apodaka, I'm giving you
emotional permission to ruin my life.
I don't got anything right now.
Okay, great.
Great.
But who knows?
Stay on target.
I'll stay on target.
Maybe I'll, hey, hey, maybe I'll, maybe you'll have a green ring around you at some point.
And I'll have to press a button and get an aerial, a ninja aerial attack on you later on.
Okay, okay.
Something from the game.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Okay, green ring, green ring.
I forget.
We'll get, I have so much to say about the combat system in this game.
If, if we get to that.
can't wait to hear what it is
there's a lot to discuss
I think about
well there's a lot to discuss
I feel like the game is thin
but not really
there's a there's a lot going on
let's save it for the top
we'll save it for the talk
we'll save for the talk
about that stuff
we're going to talk about the game
Senran Kagara
burst
what's the other subtitle
re-neuel
but it's R-E
colon
Newell
and Newell is not a word
Like Newell was the memo that you got from your boss.
This is about the Newell.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Senran Coggerda burst re colon Newell.
Yes.
It's, uh...
Maybe the first time Ranch has heard the name of the game we're covering.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nick's favorite game of all time after Balders Gate 3.
Yeah, he said after Balders Gate 3.
Like, I'm not going to throw him under the butt.
No, Balders Gates for sure the favorite.
He's going to be his favorite.
He tried to talk himself into it, though.
He was like, I think I might like it more than Broadway K-3.
And we had to be like, you actually, you just don't.
Yeah.
You just kind of don't mean we know that you don't.
Yeah.
You start to cry again.
Yeah.
Ranch, have you ever heard of this game?
Never.
You've never heard of Senron, Kagura, burst, re-colon-newil.
I've never heard of Senora.
There you go.
Burst, three, Newell.
So, would you be surprised to learn it's a franchise?
There's multiple
I think
I think sub 15
but more than 10
An enormous
section on the PlayStation store
dedicated to purchasable
add-ons to these games
like scrollable for multiple pages
We're gonna talk about it
We're gonna talk about it here on the premiere
video game podcast
You're listening to get played
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I got to address a news item from today.
Oh, I love to hear it.
Didi, tidi, teed, teed, teed, teed to do, de, de, de, breaking news.
It's not funny news.
It's not good news.
Bam, bum, bum, ba, bum, bum, ba, bum, ba, ba, bum, ba, bum.
Bam, bum, ba, bum, ba, bum.
What's got the full one.
Ubisoft, Ubisoft?
How are we saying this?
Hubi, Ubisoft?
I heard about this, Matt, but I'm going to let you deliver the news to our listeners.
They canceled five games that were in active development, and they also, one of which was
the Prince of Persia Sands of Time remake.
Oh, a bullet to your heart.
A bullet to my heart.
One of my favorite games recently kicked off the list of my favorite games.
But it's in the, it's part of it.
It's in the dugout.
Anything that, yeah, exactly.
It's on the bench.
Yeah, it's on the bench.
Yeah, it's on the bench. It's ready to go.
It's not a starting player.
It's time to play.
But instead, Ubisoft, knifed your liver.
Yeah, they sort of knifed my liver with the time dagger and went all the way back to when they decided they weren't going to do that.
Yeah.
And it kind of sucks.
I mean, the thing about it was they announced it in 2020.
Yeah.
And they were like, it's going to be ready.
This top of next year.
Top of 2021.
And I think have delayed it so many times.
I am almost like there's no way they were ever going to make.
I don't know how these things work internally.
It seemed like they were making it and that I had read something today that somebody recently who was working on the project
had learned that it was going to be put they were going to like delay it to March I think of next year or something
and then just canceled it completely.
Yeah.
Just out from under them.
And it sucks.
It sucks because I mean I don't know the internal structures of how these things work.
I don't know if people are like losing their jobs over this or anything like that or if they're just like moving on to another project.
But it sounds like there's going to be a restructuring of some kind over there.
And, you know, my heart goes out to everybody that was working on that.
We are not a news podcast.
No.
So what I'm going to say next is baseless.
Yeah.
And should be treated as the rumors spoken by an idiot inside of a cardboard box.
Picture Heather wearing a dunce cap.
Yeah.
And the dunce says, listen.
but it's spelled L-I-S-A-N.
Yeah, yeah, listen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like Nissan, but with an L.
I wonder if the real wet flop of the latest Assassin's Creed game
affected Ubisoft's overall positioning.
Interesting.
It feels like...
The Assassin's Creed Shadows?
Yeah, it feels like that game.
came and went without any, like, even the lightest gamer cultural footprint.
Yeah, I mean, because we played it a little bit.
I liked it to a point.
Yeah.
It didn't grab me the way Ghost of Yote did, for example.
Everything I've heard about it in recent times has been that the port on Switch 2 is incredible.
Oh.
And that it looks amazing.
They can't actually believe.
Same thing with Outlaws, another Ubisoft game.
they're like, it's the fact that these games look this good on a Switch 2 is insane.
And I don't know what they've done to do that.
I don't know what they, or, you know, how they, how they accomplish such a thing.
But it is, it is interesting that it's, it's, I mean, what was the last.
Big Ubisoft?
What was the last Assassin's Creed game that, like, really was like, I guess it probably was Valhalla, right?
Like, I don't know if Valhalla was big everywhere else.
I mean, certainly was big in this room and in this podcast.
But I don't know that Valhalla was like
Maybe it was a big hit
I don't know
I don't know when the last
We could look this up
We could be news
Nick would be sort of like on it
With the sort of like looking it up
He'd be like closing porn tabs
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Opening new ones
Find out what the most recent
Trying not to cry
Most recent
What tabs
How would you even
How would you even look this up
Ubisoft hit?
Yeah
I feel like it like shadows must have sold well
But maybe it's just like nobody cares about it in the same way
That like people cared about
Uh
Ghost of Yote because it's like you know obviously similar
In
Um similar in scope similar in
Uh
Sort of genre I guess you could call it
Um
But
Yote was the one that was nominated for awards and Shadows was not
Well here's
And again, this is just Reddit.
This is just a discussion on Reddit.
But there is a Reddit thread.
And it is, in your opinion, what was Ubisoft's last good game before they started to decline?
You know, very similar to what we're talking about.
And the top comment with only 14 up votes.
So, again, not gospel, was I liked Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla.
But I think they started to fall when Watchdogs was revealed to be a scam and nothing like the trailers showed.
I remember that huge controversy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, because when Watchdogs was trailed, it looked futuristic.
It was like, oh, my God, like this is a true next generation game.
They're doing stuff that I, like, particle physics and car collisions and hackable.
Everybody in the whole world is hackable and has their own backstory.
Hack the planet.
Hack the planet.
And none of that was really implemented.
No.
I feel like, yeah, those first Assassin's Creed's, well, those first Assassin's Creed came right after
the Prince of Persia, like, trilogy of games, right?
And then they tried to do another one.
And then Assassin's Creed won.
I feel like people didn't really care about the first one, right?
Then they did the second one is probably when people start to lock in.
They're like, hey, this shit's kind of good.
And then through Black Flag, I think is when people were like, these games are really, really great.
Yes.
And then it wasn't until, like, Odyssey and Valhalla
that were people were like, okay, like, these are still good.
You know, these are still great.
You know, I hope it doesn't mean that they're trying to, like,
you know, restructure, like, sell off parts of the company for parts
because I feel like there's a lot of talent in those teams
because the games that they make, like, there's nothing wrong with shadows.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like not a perfect game by any means,
but it's not bad or uninteresting,
and it plays awesome.
The story I felt like was really cool.
Like, it just, you know, at a certain point,
with Assassin's Creed games,
you're either in for what you're in for
or you're in for 200 hours.
Right.
And I'm just not going to do that.
Right.
I can't.
I can't.
Right.
I love Pandora and the World of Avatar.
Yeah.
I'm not even up for 200 hours of that.
No, no.
Let alone a slightly tepid ninja release.
What if they could play?
What if you could play as wrong?
And just like destroy the opening area?
It would be great.
Just burn down Pandora.
Like you can like run her around the menu screen and destroy the menu screen.
It has this is like not like this is for different discussion.
What are we talking about?
Is it time for Varang talk?
When you get, when you introduce a character like Varong in the third movie.
Yeah.
You're kind of like what she'd been up to this whole time.
She kind of tells you what the, what her situation is why she's doing it.
Don't you want to see it a little bit?
Well, I saw, you know, I saw a second time this last weekend.
Yeah. And listeners, this is a pro avatar podcast.
That's right.
I saw it a second time this weekend.
and I saw it with a friend, a writer friend,
who had dismissed.
Was it William Shakespeare?
The entire franchise.
Yeah, William Jefferson Shakespeare.
But he was like...
Isn't it funny that you guys kind of have the...
You had the same job?
That's funny.
Jesus.
You know what I mean?
It's like weird to think about.
You guys did the same thing.
We're just trying to entertain people with little stories.
My little stories.
Little dialogues.
Yeah, sometimes little jokes.
Christ.
Yeah.
But, yeah, so I went with a friend who had initially dismissed the Avatar franchise
and after, what has it been, 15 fucking years of me being like, these movies are good,
he finally decided to watch all of them this week.
Yeah.
And we went to see the third one in theaters.
And he was like, these movies are good.
They're good.
They're good.
You kind of just have to like submit
Yeah you can't be
It's not a film for criticism
No
It's a film for just dumb fun
I made like we were on it
This was a couple years ago
My wife had not seen the first one
And Way of Water was about to come out
And I was gonna try to convince her
Maybe go see Way of Water with me
But she hadn't seen the first one
Yeah
And I sort of knew she wasn't gonna watch it
If we put it on at the house
Right
I waited till we were on an international flight to Italy
And I was like hey
This is not the most ideal
Screening location
Right
But you have nothing else to do
but watch a three-hour movie.
Yeah.
At the end of this movie,
she goes, that was fucking awesome.
And I was like, yeah, it's awesome.
It's good stuff.
Has she expressed interest in the other two?
Absolutely not.
I'm waiting for the right flight.
It's going to happen.
She's going to see these movies by hook or by crook.
I'm glad this friend of yours turned around.
My wife, on the other hand,
yeah.
She slapped through most of the third one.
Yes.
And she...
Works very hard.
Was tired.
Yeah, she's very tired.
Works very hard.
But also came...
Went into it with the attitude of this, these films are weird.
Yes.
These are weird.
That's acceptable.
And I said to her,
you wept in way of water.
And she went, I did?
And I went, yeah, you cried about the whale a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
And she's like, oh, I remember the whale.
Yeah.
So also there's something about like being in those 3D spaces where you kind of
of also don't make memories the right way or something.
Maybe it's because they're not real.
Yeah, they're not real in any way.
But it's so funny, and I feel like we said this on the DLC,
and we'll get to what we're going to talk about in just a second.
I don't care.
It's so funny to me that these movies are like,
you know, there's this race of these blue sort of cat-like aliens.
And they're in, they got their whole thing going on.
They're trying to stop colonization on their planet
and they're trying to keep their resources.
Trying to keep it, just keep it,
keep it how they have been doing it.
There's also this whole other whale thing
that is so interesting.
And it's like separate and also not.
Like it's like they, like, I would watch,
I would watch a Tolcun movie.
I would see the whole thing with just them.
The sea story.
The sea story in an avatar film is,
by the way, whales have,
culture. They wear jewelry
and clothes. And there's a council of
them that can exile you. Yeah.
If they think you're bad. And they have like
yearly meetings. Yeah.
And they stand upright. Again,
I just made out contact with Ranch
who I guess didn't know this about the Avatar
films. She was looking at me
like what we were saying is insane.
There's whale culture in the avatar films.
I was thinking about the whale
and sponge bob. Mr.
Crabs' daughter? Yeah. Because she wears
clothes and jewelry.
It's kind of like her.
They're also cheerleaders.
What is her name?
Pearl. Pearl.
Wow. Did you know that?
I have never seen an episode of SpongeBob.
I got one recommendation for you
and one recommendation for you home. I've mentioned it on the show before.
Watch SpongeBob?
The episode with Doodle Bob.
Honestly, any of the ones from the early run are good.
Doodle Bob? I think, so maybe perhaps
to a lot of millennials, the funniest 23 minutes you'll ever see your goddamn life.
Okay.
Really funny.
Okay.
Just good stuff.
I got yelled at on a studio tour this last week because I started to try to give the tour.
Well, no, we passed a famous person and I didn't know who it was.
Oh.
And everybody on the tour was so angry at me.
And they were like, you've never seen the pit?
And I was like, no.
And they're like, but you've seen ER.
And I went, no, I've never seen the ER.
Got it.
And then they were like.
This really narrowed it down to who it could be.
And then they were like, they were like, well, what have you seen?
And I was like, I don't know.
And one goes, have you seen friends?
And I went, no, I've only seen one episode of friends.
And it was when during the pandemic, my wife was like, you need to watch friends.
We watched one episode.
And she went, oh, maybe this show's not very good.
I got a couple of friends recommendations too.
I've seen every episode of that show.
And I think there, you know, for what it does, I think it's great.
I think if you,
well,
some of it hasn't aged great.
Yeah.
Because it was the 90s.
Yeah, it was the 90s.
There's an episode of Ross
can't get his pants back up
because they're leather
and his legs are all sweaty
and it's one of the funniest
physical performances
I've ever seen in my life.
I've seen the clip
where they're yelling about
getting a couch up a flight of stairs.
Oh yeah.
This is like.
Well, swimmer's goaded.
He's just so good.
Very famous thing where he's screaming pivot.
Pivot.
Yeah.
And they can't, they can't,
They can't even film it because they're laughing so hard at him.
Because he's just, he's unbelievable on that show.
They're all great.
Yeah.
Ranch.
Let me ask you something about the whales and Avatar real quick.
I know you don't know the answer to this.
So it's kind of like a, just trying to gauge what you think about this.
When the whales have their meeting and they're talking, you're probably, you're probably
thinking they just kind of get out of the water a little bit, right?
Like how a whale would kind of come up for water.
is probably what you're picturing.
Sure.
Ain't wrong.
They stand fully upright out of the water, like monoliths.
Do they have legs?
I don't know.
They're swimming so hard underneath that they can get like this much of their body.
And be completely still, basically.
Yeah, so they're just like kind of like standing like this and talking.
Are they speaking English?
No, but they're subtitled in papyrus font.
Are they making noises?
Yes.
And the noise is very cool visually also because when they're making noise, the water, you know, like when you put a cup of water on a speaker, it'll like make rings and stuff.
Yeah, like especially when a transverse Rex is walking toward it.
So the way that they speak makes rings that like holds stationary in like locked positions on the surface of the water.
It's really neat.
Wow.
There's a lot of weird things.
He's fucking, this guy's, this guy James Cameron.
It's got a lot going on.
on good stuff.
I saw a director's on table
with him and Catherine Bigelow
being really nice to each other
and I was like, I love that.
That's great.
They got a, they had a messy divorce.
I mean, like he also, in other interviews
has talked about, he's like, you know,
Catherine directed an incredible film.
Always a fan.
Like, he never speaks badly of any of his ex-y.
No.
And there are many.
And there are a lot of them.
Because he's apparently not a good guy.
This guy's kind of direct his damn marriage
and he can't do it.
Yeah.
Can't do it.
But hasn't he been married to the granddaughter from Titanic since Titanic?
That's 25 years.
What?
Isn't that who he's married to now?
I don't know.
The one who plays Rose's granddaughter.
What?
Isn't that true?
Ranch, are you doing truth?
Are you truth?comming this?
Wait, is that truth social?
Yeah, this go to truth.com.
And type in, is this true?
What website do you think it is?
Yeah, she was.
Titanic.
Yes, she's a granddaughter.
Yes.
So she plays the granddaughter of Rose in the movie.
Yeah.
And now they're married.
Yeah, they have been.
I thought you were, first of all, for one second, forgot that it's a fake story.
I thought he married the real Rose's granddaughter.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Was so confused.
He's got to get the story right.
Yeah.
And there's only one way to get it right.
I have to get the details.
That can only come.
from a relative.
And the only way
can do that is by
falling in love
and becoming married.
So funny.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's enough
that's enough
Varang talk.
We're not here.
This is,
believe it or not,
this is not
the premier Varang podcast.
It also kind of is.
It is.
It definitely.
Nobody's talking about
Varang like we are.
Nobody is.
Did you see that
fan cam thing I sent you
that was like the ad
that's just Varang footage?
I haven't watched it yet
because I'm planning to pull it up
on my TV
when I get home.
Dude.
and stand in front of it.
Dude, it's so good.
It's such a good edit.
I like that they've...
Fuck it. I'm just going to show it to right now.
I like that they've leaned into this hard.
I don't even care about the show anymore.
That's not even true.
That's not true.
No, I don't care about the show that we're doing.
Oh, well, today.
More important to me...
Is that I see the Varang fan cam.
Is that you see the Varang fan cam.
Okay.
Ready?
Here we go.
Her face is so mean.
She's a mean, she's a mean lady.
Okay.
It's got good music, too. Hold on.
I'm just going to start it over with.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
This is unbelievable.
They, like, know she's hot.
It's so funny.
Do you think this was, like, a move they did on purpose?
Like, do you think James Cameron was, like, in the room?
Not in the room.
Like, he has a writer's room.
This is all his brain.
Do you think, like, when he pitched the third one,
he's like, and there's a hot one, by the way.
And by the way, there's one that's,
going to make people fucking insane.
The edit there
where she's walking and they cut
to the flashbulbs.
Yeah.
Made it look like she was a real
world celebrity also.
Insane.
It's so good.
Wrong?
If they don't make the fourth one, I'll be
bummed. But if she doesn't have
like fully
an hour of that film
dedicated to her. Yes.
Of the three and a half that's probably
going to come out. Yes.
When I saw it again this weekend, the things I noticed, this is how this all started.
One, they live in their burnt out tree.
Yes.
Which I didn't catch the first time.
I thought it was just rocks, but they live in their burnt out tree.
So like there is nice visual.
It's a very video game environmental storytelling moment.
Yes.
What was the other thing I was going to say?
They live in their burnt out tree.
Oh, and realizing that for a full 20 minutes of that film, they just, they just, they just,
abandon the protagonist.
Yeah.
Just so you can hang out with Varon.
Here's what we got going on over here.
Like fully just
as if
Jake Sully's not even the star of the show
anymore.
And he's kind of not.
He takes a back seat in this one.
Yeah, he does. He does.
It's more of a family movie.
It's more of a family movie than the last
Fast and Furious movie, I'd say.
Yeah. And Fast means family.
I would have loved to see Noel Wiley in person.
Who?
The person
that you didn't know who it was.
Oh, okay.
You're not watching the pit.
No.
You got to watch the pit.
I don't watch stuff.
I watch anime only.
The pit's kind of like anime.
I watch anime only.
It's true.
The pit is kind of like anime.
Okay.
There's some characters in the season, in the first season.
It's their first day being doctors.
But they're not even called doctors yet, right?
Okay.
All those crazy shit happens.
At the end of the day, they had sort of a Shonen arc.
Because they're like nervous.
Things keep fucking up, keep happening to them.
The day keeps getting crazier and crazier.
By the end of the day, they're just sort of like,
guess I'll see you tomorrow.
And just like, it's good stuff.
It's nasty, too.
That's what I've heard.
It's fucking nasty.
I've heard it's a gross show.
It's really gross.
My wife sees stuff like this all the time.
She's not phased by it.
I'm watching this show.
I'm yelling yuck.
Yuck constantly.
Ew, yuck.
And then she just like makes fun of me.
She's like, you can never work in a hospital.
You'd be throwing up everywhere.
Yeah.
I can't, I can barely walk into a hospital, let alone work.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, it's bad stuff happens there.
Yeah. Nasty stuff.
Nasty business.
Poop mixed with blood.
Poop mixed with blood. P mixed with blood. P. mixed with poop.
Yeah. Inside on the outsides.
Outside on the, well. Yeah.
All of it. All of the different combinations. But we're not here to talk about that.
No, we're not.
And we're not here to talk about Varang. But if she comes up again, I'll golly speak of her.
Yep.
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This is a video game podcast.
It is a video game podcast and we've teased what we're going to talk about.
But that's not even what we're doing now.
It's not what we're doing now.
The show's got a bunch of different parts and a bunch of different things we're doing at all times.
Four parts.
intro nonsense.
Yes.
The part we kind of doesn't
just do whatever we want.
Yeah.
Then there's,
we talk about games
that we're playing currently.
Which we'll get to.
Then we talk about the game
topic at hand.
And then we usually have a segment.
That's kind of five parts actually.
It is?
Intro nonsense.
Oh, intro nonsense.
Oh, because I'm thinking
about intro nonsense as two separate things.
Oh, you're thinking cold open.
Cold open and intro nonsense.
What we're playing,
the main topic and then segment.
Yeah.
So now you know what
show is. Now you know, and that's, so you, so I don't want anybody getting scared at any point
during the show. You have a table. Yeah. You know it's coming. You've got a map. You can't be
scared. But there's a question that comes up every week on this show. And that question is,
what are you playing? What are you playing? Hi, it's me the resident evil merchant and I'm
gonna ask what? Where's Nick? Nick's not here. He's, uh, he's on assignment. He's with the
dough boys. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Were you supposed to go to?
Are you supposed to go?
What's what's what's wrong?
I don't know.
I kind of, I fucked up.
How'd you fuck up?
You just got here.
I was supposed to be there.
You were supposed to be in Chicago with the doughboy.
Were you going to be the guest on the show?
What's that?
No, no, no.
But I was going to be on the show.
You weren't going to be the guest, but you were going to be on the show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I talked to Nikki, and I said, what are you doing?
You call him Nikki.
Yeah, Nicky, little Nikki.
I talked to Nicky, and I was like, what are you doing?
And he's like, I got to get it, please leave my apartment.
And I went, no, where do you?
Why are you packing a bag?
Yeah.
And it's like, I'm got to go on a trip.
Please leave.
My wife is a friend.
Yeah.
And I said, where are you going?
He's in Chicago.
And I went, say, you're there.
And then I fell asleep and forgot.
So you didn't have like a plan for what you.
You were going to do, you're like, Nick's going, I'm going.
Yeah.
You're sort of like his enforcer, his bodyguard.
I got to say, I bought my friend.
That's really nice.
That's great.
I'm sure he'll be happy to see you when you come back.
I hope he's safe.
He'll be okay.
He's with some other big guys.
He's with Mitch and Gabris.
They're going to take care of him.
Yeah, right, I wait.
Yeah, nobody's going to be messing with Nick.
He's also a big guy himself.
I just don't want him to, like, you know, take a photo and be like, oh, I'm in a taxi.
I don't know where I am, help.
No, I've actually, in my experience, when you're in a taxi, you sort of know exactly where you are and where you're going.
For the most part.
I imagine him like...
You get one of these crazy taxis.
You might be a bit of a problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, exactly.
That's how the song goes.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I guess I'll just ask you.
Murdo up a bonaca.
What are you praying?
President the Evil Foremerchant, thank you so much.
I have some huge news.
Huge.
I don't know if it's huge.
Walking your back immediately.
Okay, I want to know what it was.
I said this year, I'm in sort of a sort of cozy, sort of RPG mode.
Yeah.
Really took down the Dragon Quest 7 reimagined demo.
Yeah.
I've been playing Hades 2, not quite the same thing, but like have been enjoying that.
Yeah.
Finding coziness in that a little bit.
But I'm in sort of a cozy mode.
Oh, cozy mode.
And I was like.
It's January on the podcast.
January on the podcast. It's been
80 degrees all month.
It's true.
Today was a brisk
68 degrees.
And I just have been like
you know, I mean actually
I've been playing my Switch 2 quite a bit.
Wow! Were you convinced by our own episode?
No, I've just been doing it. Oh, that's great.
Also, of note
Switch sales, though they were
depressed over the holidays are skyrocketing in Japan currently.
We got to delete the episode.
We don't got to delete the episode, but I do think that maybe, maybe we buried,
we buried that casket too early.
We'll see.
Hey, sounds like they took some of our notes to heart actually.
Yeah, maybe they did.
I think maybe they heard our show and got fucking scared.
Juice the numbers a little bit.
What are you playing on Switch?
Anyway, we were right the whole time.
That's my job.
What are you playing?
I switched you.
Started a new game.
Not a new game.
New to me.
Game that I've had in my backlog for a while.
Oh, I love to hear it.
Octopath Traveler.
Hey!
And let me tell you something.
Oh, man.
That makes me really happy for you.
This shit's fucking good.
It's so good.
It's beautiful.
It's gorgeous.
It's the 2D HD aesthetic.
I love that.
I love the score is amazing.
Like all the music in the game is fucking insane.
The voice acting.
Yeah.
Kind of something that you're not really thinking about a game like that having for some reason.
Yep.
Fully voice acted.
Fully voice acted.
And like it's really good too.
Yeah.
Really, really great, fun stuff.
I started with the character Cyrus, who is a scholar.
And right now I have a party of three.
It's Cyrus, Ophelia, and I believe her name is Hanit.
And she's a honey.
who like can summon beasts and then also capture beasts so there's like a
Pokemon element yeah to that as well yeah and I'm absolutely loving it and like
it's like a game that like it's turn-based so there's like and there's like it's also
extremely dense yes there are I feel like sometimes you can it can go like
10 minutes yeah before you're like moving around again yeah like it'll just
be like, here's every shit that's been going on in my little town.
And so once you meet a new character, I'm sure this will stop at some point.
But like there's all these characters in the game.
You go around and you start collecting them for your party so you can start swapping them out
here and there.
But then their stories continue elsewhere.
So you're going around the world map to continue their stories and continue the overall story of what it is.
But every time you meet a new person, you have the opportunity to add them to your party
immediately and you could either just continue from that point or you could go back to the
beginning of their story and find out how they got there and find out how they got there and
that is so fun yeah and so cool um but it is like a lot of like it's a lot of reading yeah and it's a
lot of uh well you know there's voice acting too but like it's just like there's a lot of text
in the game yeah yeah it is a it is a rich fully realized RPG rich is a good is a great word for
it absolutely um
I love the battle system too.
Like it's just like it's just very fun.
Yeah.
It's fun to as as Cyrus,
you have a skill.
I think it's called analyze or something.
Mm-hmm.
Where like each monster,
until you've encountered them enough times,
you kind of don't know how to take them down
or what they're weak against.
So you can analyze and or learn by doing
and just like attack.
And then like sometimes, you know,
a character might be weak to arrows or something
and you can break their shield or whatever
and get a couple of free rounds in
before they can start attacking again
and that is so fun I love that
I also it's just like
it's even just like the fidelity of the game
is really good
because like I've replayed
what is it
Final Fantasy
I'm used to playing the original Final Fantasy
even on the Game Boy Advanceer
like I replayed the pixel version of three
because I never played that before
I only played the DS version of three
and even those
look
they're very flat
and then the font is also
you know they kind of just are not very nice looking
they didn't do that much to make them nice
right right these games are like brand new
but with sports
brights right so like it's just like they're just very very like lovingly made they are they're gorgeous
i've seen people output them to CRTs like old televisions oh my god and they are breathtaking
it and it's crazy because it's these they just did those dragon quest ones which i also recently
picked up uh dragon quest three okay yeah HD 2d on like deep sale got that they did they have a new one coming
out as like the Adventures of Elliot or something.
It's not the boy from E.T.
But if it was,
day one purchase,
got to see what he's up to.
His life probably after that
really boring, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, he works in finance.
Nothing else crazy ever happening to that guy. He had the one
thing. E.T.
God, what a, what a sequel that would be to write.
My life was crazy.
Well, he's insane now.
Well, everybody knows this happened to him.
I saw this online rumoring right now that the White House is about to disclose that aliens exist.
And that...
I don't need to know.
And that the UK banks have prepped for a financial collapse.
Okay.
Because they think that the stock markets will just go crazy.
And this is not a news podcast.
Yeah, it's not a news podcast.
There's a lot of online mumbling about this.
Elliot is a kid who knows they exist
and is just walking through the world
in a world where nobody else thinks they exist.
Yes.
And he has, I bet he's ostracized.
I bet he, when he gets drunk, everybody's like,
oh, God, this fucking story again.
We know his finger lights up.
Shut up already.
He took a flower from your sister.
Jesus Christ.
He drank beer and you got drunk.
Sure.
whatever, dude.
Like, what a sad sequel that would be.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man.
Man, I almost want to cut this whole section out of the podcast and just fucking write this.
It could.
It's pretty good.
Like, you could just not call it ET too.
You could just have a story where the implication is it's Elliot.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Elliot.
E.T.
But that's how you, that's the poster.
Yeah.
It says E.T.
The E and the T are really big and then the rest of it is really small.
Oh, man.
That's good.
Matt, we should do it.
I mean, at the very least...
Did we call up Adam McKay?
At the very least, I feel like
talking about it like this on the podcast...
It's ours.
Makes it out.
Like, people would be like,
they just fucking stole this
from the get played assholes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We see it next week on Saturday Night Live.
Yeah.
But having worked there,
I know that they get accused
of ripping stuff off all the time.
It is a lot of just parallel thought.
They don't fucking look at anything there.
It's like, how could you?
Like, they don't want.
You're too busy worrying about what fucking anything, like the president said.
You know what I mean?
And then the rest of it's kind of like, oh, yeah, I saw this guy with a weird hat or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Yep.
That's it.
That's the show.
You know, that famous sketch, guy with the weird hat.
Anyway.
Isn't there literally a sketch about guy with weird hat?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Anyway.
So you're playing octopath.
Playing octopath.
And I'm, it's not, it's just in my thoughts all the time.
Yeah.
It's just exactly what I've been wanting.
Just absolute.
posiness. So I was circling back to this. That aesthetic is so good and it's funny that it's just like a
Square Unix thing, which I'm like, yeah, I guess I don't want other people doing it. Right. But it is an
interesting lesson. And like they're all like kind of like very critically well received these games.
And it's kind of, I don't know, it's shocking that they haven't done it with Chrono Trigger yet.
Shocking they haven't done it with obviously Pokemon's not Square Unix, but like I feel like they could
also do something like that.
It would be really cool.
But they should be doing it with those early final fantasies also.
The priorities that all of these game companies place are so obfuscated and bizarre to me.
For example, as of today, Nintendo updated Donkey Kong.
Donkey Kong Country Returns HD.
Yeah, which is a 3DS game that then became.
It was a Wii.
It was a Wii game that then became a 3DS game that then became a Switch 1 game and is now updated for Switch 2.
Yes.
Why are they updating Donkey Kong Country Returns HD?
But it's not even just an update.
They added a whole ass character to the game.
What are they doing?
It's so crazy.
I kind of love it.
It's a game that I skipped that then I've also recently was like, I have to get this now.
Isn't the virtual boy like coming out like next week or something like the add-on?
I think so.
I think it comes out, I think it comes out in February.
Like what is happening over at Nintendo?
I don't know.
We literally did this show last week.
They deemed it important to update a 16-year-old video game.
And I can't fault them for that.
I think that's funny.
It is funny.
That is good.
And they just remember that tweet that was like, I did this, this and this.
And they just tweeted it out.
Yeah.
That's kind of what they did with it.
They kind of just put it out.
Like there was no, there's a direct coming up.
Yeah.
And they were just kind of like,
ah, here you go, I don't give a fuck.
Here's Donkey Kong.
Yeah.
Here go nuts.
Who gives a shit?
Announcing today.
An update to We Fit.
What the fuck?
It's in Spanish now.
You're like, wait, why?
I guess good.
Yeah.
Heather, what have you been playing?
Matt, you know this because I texted you about it.
I followed you into the world of Dragon Quest 7 reimagined.
Fucking game made me so happy and melancholy.
Yeah.
Because I was like, oh, there's a feeling I have here that is like being taken care of.
Like this game, it's got me.
It's going to take care of me.
I don't have to worry about anything.
Nothing is going to be too crazy.
every single NPC in this village is going to have something different to say.
And once another event happens, they're going to have a different thing to say.
How a game can be programmed so that when you pick up a barrel and smash it on the ground,
whether or not you find something in the barrel, the action of doing it is pleasurable?
Yeah.
This is the mastery of a Dragon Quest game.
because I also went back to playing Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth.
And I'm only a Ju-on because when I get access to a new area,
I have to clear every fucking quest.
Can I just put you at ease?
You don't have to.
Yes, I do.
You do to a point.
This is the way I play.
This is my final.
I was there with you.
I was doing that same thing.
At a certain point, I was like, I have to get to the end of this.
You're not there yet.
I'm not there yet.
I cleared all of the area, the Juan area stuff.
And then I was showing, my parents are in town and I wanted to show them.
The Campbells are in town?
The Campbells are in town.
My mom wants to come say hi on the podcast.
Oh, please.
So I want to show them what games look like now.
So I showed them the opening of Death Stranding and went, what the fuck, look at this fucking thing.
Check this shit out.
Yeah, look at this.
And then I also was like, and then you want to see what cloud looks like now.
And I showed them this game.
My dad falls asleep instantly.
I'm familiar with cloud.
I mean, I've been dressing up as cloud my whole life.
Yes.
So I'm showing it, and I finish the final side quest in the Ju-on intro area, and I enter
into Ju-on, and you're like running down these, like, rickety tunnels underneath the city proper,
and fucking everybody is like clinging into chairs and knocking fucking shit around, and it's like,
it's like a minor hurricane walking down that tunnel.
The most destructive crew imaginable.
Well, it's, what's jarring about it is it's so badly designed.
Yeah.
It's funny, but it also instantly makes you think these guys are idiots.
And they're assholes.
They're idiots and assholes.
Yeah.
And nobody reacts to it.
They are terrorists.
And it's one of those things in a video game that, like, gives you a real large distance
between yourself and the story.
Like, it has to, it's like when Link is in somebody's house and breaks everything
in the house and the guy doesn't do anything or say anything.
Right.
Right.
So there's this feeling in a game usually where you're like,
ugh, this isn't quite supposed to be happening this way.
For some reason in Dragon Quest,
when you go into somebody's house and you pick up a barrel
and you smash it on the ground,
it feels like that person is fine with it.
Yeah, they sort of put that there and be like,
hey, if somebody comes in, doesn't knock,
just walks in, picks up a crate or a jar or some shit,
smashes it, that's fine.
I put it there for them to do that.
That and the legacy sounds,
Ian of Dragon Quest game,
and all the way up until the most recent one,
you know, you go into a building and it's like,
chch, chuk, chuk.
Those legacy sounds are so,
are they're so comforting.
I felt, I felt like sad.
I tried to express this over text.
I was like,
games shouldn't have done anything but this.
Yeah.
We fucked up.
Fortnite, my favorite,
now my favorite game of all,
time.
Yes.
When I play Fortnite, I don't leave feeling well.
No.
I feel accomplished or I feel energized or I feel like tons of dopamine, adrenaline,
all of those feelings.
Right.
But I don't feel like good.
Yeah.
I feel anxious even.
I said this and this sort of applies to Fortnite though too.
But what Dragon Quest does extremely well, more so than even like,
Final Fantasy or some of the, or just any of the big games in the last couple of years.
Yeah.
Bright colors and smiling faces.
It is.
Even the enemies are smiling.
They're smiling.
Slimes are smiling.
Even the creepy ones, they're kind of like, hey.
Like, they look like cartoon characters.
So you're never like, there's not a single moment of distress in a Dragon Quest game.
There really aren't.
And you're kind of like, sometimes there's a boss and you got to sort of, you have to get past that.
But there's never any sort of like, I mean, as far as I know.
Well, you'll get like, you'll get a character.
get confronted by a surprise and they'll go like this.
And then they'll go.
Yeah.
And they get right back into serious, like, that's the range of their emotional state.
Yes.
Is surprise?
Like, cartoonish surprise, back to determine.
I love it.
I love it.
It's so good.
I'm so glad you called it out.
Every day that I turn on my PlayStation, I'm like, I'm like, nobody's around to play Fortnite.
night right now. What should I play? I scroll through my games. I'm like I could go back in a
fucking play queen's breath or whatever the fuck that card game. Queen's blood. Queen's blood.
Should be its own game. Should be its own game. It's great game. It's really good.
Really good game. But I'm like looking at my like, you know, cross media bar and I'm trying to decide
which of these games to play. And I'll see that demo and I'll be like, oh, is that out yet? And I
click on it and click through it. And it's not out yet. And I'm like, come on. God damn it.
So you're going PlayStation on that one.
I don't know that yet.
Okay.
Because I played it on my Switch 2.
I know you did.
To me, that's a Switch 2 game.
Through and through.
It probably looks great on the 5.
It looks so fucking...
I'm sure it looks probably identical on the fucking...
Yeah, it's probably not that crazy.
Yeah.
But...
I just feel like...
Do you want to know the truth?
You'll have it on the big TV.
I mean, here's the thing you can play it on Switch 2 on the big TV too.
You want to know the truth?
You want to play it on the portal?
No.
You want to know the truth?
What's that?
It's the controller.
Yeah.
It's that fucking, that, like, adaptive triggers, that dual, that dual sense or whatever it's called.
That's a good controller.
That's really good.
It's basically the controller is the reason I'm playing it on PlayStation.
And that's fair.
That's you're right.
It's a good controller.
Yeah.
But you played that.
Yeah, I played that.
So good.
We played something else, too, didn't we?
We did.
Nick's favorite game of all time is part of a franchise.
It's Senran Kagura.
of which we played,
Senran Kagura burst
re...
What?
Renewal.
That's it.
Renewal.
Developed by Tamsoft,
Marvelous,
meteor ice,
honey parade.
All of these
are the
companies
that were involved
in Senran Kagra.
Marvelous
is
very well known
for their action games.
No affiliation
to Billy Crystal.
What?
You know how he does that
You look marvelous
Are you not familiar with
Billy Crystal's uvra?
No
That's fine
If Nick was here
He would have loved that
That was for Nick
In many ways all of this is for Nick
But that in particular
That was for Nick
So anyway
The series debuted
This is taken from Wikipedia
The series debuted in Japan in 2011
with the release of Senran Kagura
Shogatji No Shinae
or Senran Kagara Portrait of Girls
for the Nintendo 3DS
and debuted abroad in 2013
with Senran Kagara burst.
The franchise has expanded into
video games, manga, adaptations, anime series
and plenty of merchandise.
I had not... I'd imagine some of the merchandise
that's available for this property.
I had never... I'd never heard of this title.
but I'm going to read the games in the series
because for a lot of our listeners probably
there's going to be some listeners like
oh my God these guys and then some of them are probably like
what are they talking about? I feel like a lot of the
I feel like more than a handful of our listeners
are going to be like I love these. Yeah so you've got from 2011
for the Nintendo 3DS Sanran Cogara skirting shadows
then you have San Rencagara burst then you have new wave
Then you have Senran Kagara Shinobi Verses.
You've got Bon Appetit, Diem Crimson, Estival versus,
Peach Beach Splash, Reflections, Shinobi Master San Rancagara,
New Link.
Then Burst Renewal, which is the one we played from 2018.
Then you have Peach Ball, Neptunia X San Rencagara Ninja Wars,
and then finally from 2024, San Rencagara Run,
which is a mobile only game.
Here's what these games are.
Imagine Naruto,
the franchise about ninjas.
Yes, that's right.
But imagine instead of ninjas,
it's all high school girls in short skirts.
Yeah.
They...
That's not all.
That's not all.
They also have giant tits.
They have...
giant
giant breasts
and let me say
Nick's favorite game
it's Nick's favorite game and I think I can say this
on this podcast
you know I've had a double mastectomy
no game has made me miss my breasts more
than Senran Cagra
burst renewal
I look at those
one million years could have guessed that that's what you're going to say
Look at those boobs on the on the big screen and I think man
boobs were fun to have yeah and these girls are having tons of fun with them
they're having a lot of fun their backs probably really hurt destroyed yeah yeah destroyed
so go ahead no um it's insane it's it's insane they're very very very very very large brass
what is this game it is a game about a ninja school
a Shinobi school where a bunch of
On its own, pretty good idea.
Pretty good idea.
They've got to learn somewhere.
It is at a high school, but it's in a secret entrance
where they cannot co-mingle with regular students.
But they go to a school, they train to be ninjas
because they're a good and evil Shinobi in Japan.
And the good ones have to fight the evil ones
to maintain the balance.
And that just makes sense.
There's nothing wrong with any of that.
Nothing wrong with any of it.
And the truth is, for a game that,
is so brazenly open-faced about its just horniness.
Fan service.
Fan service.
Like it's straight.
It never pretends to be anything but what it is.
Yeah.
The inclusion of a story at all shocked me and impressed me.
It's not a bad story.
It's not a bad story.
It is like kind of like, I mean, you could see the bones.
for what could be like a B plus anime.
Sure, you know what I mean?
There's enough there where you're sort of like,
hey, this is, yeah.
All the, all the main characters are interesting.
Yep.
They all kind of have their own bit.
They got their own thing going on.
Yeah, they got their own bit.
A steampunk, like, eye patch kind of thing going on.
I mean, these student girls.
One of them has dark hair.
With their big, big, big tities.
Yeah, yeah.
You start this game with a, with a cold,
open where you're fighting on a rooftop and you aren't given at least on the I played on
PlayStation 5 Apataka I hear you played on Steam and 3DS yeah I had to really be
comprehensive on this one and so I did get it on my Steam deck and started there had to see what
the 3DS version was like because this is right this new one is a you know a remake of that
right it starts basically the same way the only real difference is that the 3DS version is
more of like a 2.5D
action game where it is like a
side scrolling, it's 3D models in a 2D
space. Okay, okay. Yeah. Well, the
PlayStation 5 version, which is what I played,
fully 3D environment. Yes. You start on a rooftop. You're having
a big battle with a bunch of other ninjas. You were given
no tutorial fucking at all. No, you're just going. You're just
expected to hit buttons and
move around and by and large, once you start doing it, you're like, oh, I get it.
Okay, these are light attacks.
This is heavy attack.
Okay.
I'm still not sure how to lock onto an enemy, but I think I can just run.
Okay, this is block.
Like, as long as you're just pressing the buttons, it really teaches itself.
I do.
So this is what I think about the combat system.
I have two minds of this.
I think it's robust enough for somebody who actually wants to play a video game.
Right.
Right?
Like, because there's like there's parries.
There's special attacks.
There's like, there's other, I mentioned the aerial attacks.
Like that's like its own thing.
And each girl has a unique fighting style and cadence.
Yes.
That stuff is great.
And it's like it's meaty enough where like, yeah, like a real gamer could play this
game and be like, this is, hey, there's a lot going on here.
There's a game here.
On the other side, the combat, it's while it's also robust,
it's you could be just like a full on like what am I trying to say here if you just want to see like the big boobed girls you're not going to have any trouble playing this game I think like it is like easy enough it's not I've this I've not run into any real challenge with this game even I died twice later on you died twice how far did you get I don't know how far I went but I I fully died twice like the game becomes including
increasingly technically, did you ever get, so like, were you ever poisoned in a fight?
I can't say that I was.
I might have been, but maybe you were able to overcome the poison.
Like, as you go, the other characters that you're fighting throw more and more shit at you.
And the timing of Perry's becomes a little bit more, because I was playing it mindlessly.
I was just like, I don't give a fuck about me in this.
You're doing what I said that could be possible.
And then I got up against a boss who both poisoned me and then they Shinobi transformed and then they used a special move on me and all at once I got killed.
And I was like, wow.
But we're ahead of ourselves.
There is a, you're introduced with combat.
Yes.
You're on a rooftop.
You're having a fighting game.
And then you finish the level and you cut to a ninja school interior where these fully rendered 3D.
are having little scenelets with each other.
The scenelets are horny, but they're having little dialogue.
And it's not, it's not visual novel style where you're just reading the text on screen.
That comes later.
Yes.
Because it turns out this game is a, is a hors d'oeuvre plate of a bunch of different types of games.
Yes.
All centered around unlocking and witnessing increasingly horny.
vignettes of these of these the five main girls or six main girls.
Yes.
After you get your introduction to this game done, you launch into a fully 2D hand-drawn animated
animate opening.
What?
It was stunning.
It's stunning.
It was so, it looked so, I was playing it on my Steam deck.
Also, it looks great on the 3D.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I was playing it on my Steam deck.
And I don't have the OLED steam deck
And I was like, this looks fucking awesome
This is so good.
I was so shocked when on my big screen
All of a sudden I'm watching a full-blown Saturday afternoon
Anime opening.
Of like telling me the story of all these fucking girls.
The song is good too.
The song fucking rules.
And I was like, wow, did Nick actually point us at a real game?
Yeah, this was pretty good.
When he said it, it was kind of like a prank.
kind of, but in many ways,
uh, he set us up for success here.
He really did.
There's a lot going on.
They'll say one of the main differences so far I've noticed in the versions that I've
played, the 3DS version and the one on Steam.
In after, after that you sort of have the, you can go to the, I can't remember what it's
called the Ninja Room.
Yeah, ninja room.
And that's sort of, uh, in, in the modern version of it, that's a menu.
And each, uh, option, you know, is just something.
you can select.
Yeah.
In a 3DS version,
that's a playable space.
Oh,
wow.
And you can walk around to the library
or to the dressing room or,
or,
or, you know,
whichever are the other rooms there are.
Yeah,
you,
you unlock this ninja room space
after your cold open,
and the ninja room is,
um,
a menu of things you can do.
So you can go to the dressing room and you can toggle.
And normally in a game like this,
you'll start with like two hours.
And the shop, the in-store, in-game shop is going to have like 10,000 outfits.
And that is sort of the gameplay loop.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, I really need to buy a bathing suit from this girl and have her fight in a bathing suit.
I got to buy the red one.
I have the blue one.
I have to buy the red one.
But in this game, you start with an enormous library of clothing options.
You would, in theory, never have to buy one.
Yeah.
There's so many.
So many.
You dress up each girl, however you change.
hair color, their eye color, their tan lines.
You change everything about them.
Yeah, I read it.
I read about these options.
I went through them.
I read about it.
I went through a bunch of them.
Yeah, no, I read about it.
And I was like, okay.
And Nick called me and went to tell me all about it.
There's two main outfits.
So like the way the combat works is you have your main outfit that you start a place
a game in.
And then you can ninja Shinobi Transform, which is like a Sailor Moon Seek.
with really, really tight close-ups on butts and boobs.
Well, it's also like, okay, so yeah, you, you are,
you're shedding, part of the transformation is you're shedding the clothes that you're wearing.
Right.
And the way that presents itself is that the clothes sort of like rip off of you,
revealing basically a nude body.
Yeah.
with parts censored.
Yeah, like glowing highlights over nipples and vagina.
Yes.
That stuff's, that's insane.
Which I thought maybe on the Steam version was going to be like fully uncensored.
It's not.
Okay.
Did I request a refund immediately?
Actually, this good, with games we've done in the past, like this, this is easily a game I would probably refund.
Yeah.
The game's kind of fun.
Yeah, it's kind of fun.
It's like, it's good stuff.
It's kind of fun.
In the DS version, in the 3DS version, there is no censorship, but there's no implied nudity either.
Oh, okay.
It's just their damn underwear.
Okay.
Well, you, yeah, you go fully nude.
You throw on a bikini and then your Shinobi transformation clothes, which is usually some heightened version of the outfit you started in.
It's like you can pick a different outfit.
Right.
But for the most part, the default Shinobi Transform is not that.
It's like they put a sweater, huh?
Yeah.
It's like not that different.
Right.
There is one girl who reads a little butch.
Uh-huh.
And her Shinobi Transform is that her shirt is unbuttoned and barely hanging onto, again, her enormous breasts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The shirt fighting for its damn life.
Yeah.
So your combat involves.
You know, you...
A button really hates to see her coming.
You power up your character.
You Shinobi transform.
You get your little Sailor Moon sequence.
And then you have special moves and additional combos.
However, additional to that, the way damage registers on both you and your opponent.
Yeah.
Yeah, I forgot about this for a second.
Is that your clothes tear.
Yes.
And you usually fall like to the ground in like a compromising position before getting back up to fight some more.
your big goal in a in a match against a human opponent because you also fight like wooden soldiers
street thugs like a bunch like you you you fight girls on the street and you punch their
clothes off yeah but your goal like your conceptual goal is to punch all of their clothes off yes
I'm going to punch their clothes
off.
Their clothes
off.
They're coming off.
The clothes are coming off.
Off.
Clothes off.
Nick Cage.
Look, something about when Nick's not here,
we have all these really good movie ideas.
So,
your goal
is you fight these bosses, you're knocking all their clothes off, and then you hopefully finish them
with a special move that shreds their last amount of clothes and they fall to the ground in a compromised
position fully naked. Yes. Humiliated. Humiliated. The greatest defeat of all. Then you cut to a
visual novel where you get like pages and pages and pages of text talking about the girl's
day at school.
Then you're back in your fucking ninja room again
where you have options like go to the store.
Yes.
Go to the library.
Go to the dressing room.
What's at the store?
Here we go.
There is both paid DLC.
Yeah.
Which will give you a ton more outfits.
Yeah.
And then there's also the in-game currency,
which you earn by doing well in the combat rounds,
which lets you unlock more outfits.
And you get a lot of this money.
I feel like.
You get.
So much much.
Again, usually these fucking games, it's like, oh, if you're going to get the white bikini, it's going to cost you like 10 hundred rounds of fighting.
Yeah.
And you're going to have to save every cent.
Instead, I went into the fucking store and I was like, oh, I'll unlock all of the videos.
Yeah.
And I did.
And I was like, wow, that's done.
Yeah.
I unlocked all the videos.
I don't need the cat ears.
They basically have cat ears.
I bought the ramen hat.
The ramen hat's good.
Because it said something like, it's like, it was called like sexual, like, ramen.
Like, there's not an item description.
It just says what it's called.
And there's not an image attached to it.
Out of curiosity, I was like, I have to see what this is.
And to my delight, big ramen bowl, really funny.
Good stuff.
Not at all what I thought it was going to be.
Yeah, there's no, in the PlayStation store,
or the, I assume, Steam store,
and the DLC, the paid DLC,
you will get, like, images of the outfits.
But in the in-game store,
it'll just say,
summer suit spectacular.
Yeah.
And you'll be like, I don't know what that is.
I'm just going to have to take your word on that.
You click it.
You go to the dressing room.
You shuffle through a million fucking outfits
you already have.
Because your thing,
you don't know where it is right away.
You don't know, know where it is.
And then you get to it and you put it on,
and it's like, okay, great.
It's a blue bathing suit with little sailboats on the tities.
Yeah.
This game is funny.
It's like incidentally funny.
It's earnest.
Yep.
It's not funny on purpose.
No.
They made this game to be like this.
Yeah.
And that is funny to me.
I was so worried when we were doing the mental calculus of this episode without Nick.
That what we were locking ourselves into was going to be a terrible fucking time.
Yes.
And then I would be texting you.
I hate this game.
And instead, I was like.
this is
mostly harmless.
Yeah.
There is some
look,
you could get gross with this
if you wanted to.
You could,
you could,
this game has
bad vibes if you go looking for it.
For sure.
If you, like,
in the PlayStation version,
yeah.
There was something patched out of it.
Oh, there was.
In the,
in the changing room area.
Uh-huh.
there's a
there's a there's a section called intimacy
okay
that was patched out
it's in the it's in the PC version still
not on the steam version
no it's well it's in the steam version
okay what is intimacy
oh you just pick one of the characters and you can
you get two little hands
you can just do whatever
you just engage with the jiggle fig
jizzle fix basically yeah yeah
you can just engage with the jiggle physicists
is a very eloquent way to say that, actually.
Yes, you can engage with them.
And then you get a heart meter,
and the more you engage with it, the heart fills up.
Oh, they like it.
They like it.
Oh, okay.
Well, that could be worse.
You can slap a little bit.
And then that's when they're like, don't do that.
It doesn't hurt your heart score.
Let me tell you there is an item of interactivity in the PlayStation version
because you can start, you can start any round.
with like a risky move
where you hold down left and and write one
as the start as the game's going to begin
and that automatically tears off all of your clothes.
Yes, I can't remember what this is called.
It's called like risky business or some shit.
I don't know what it's called.
In the PlayStation version, you do that
and you get an image of the girl in her outfit
and then you have to take your thumbs,
put them on the touchpad, and shred the clothes off.
Wow.
I can't double dip on this.
Yeah, you can't.
This is also a hell of a game
to explain to my wife.
You don't need to explain this to your wife?
I was explaining, she's like, what do you do?
I was like, I'm playing this game for the show.
What's the show?
I was like, or what's the game?
I was like, okay, it's this game
that Nick really likes.
Yep, Nick loves this game and he wants us to play it.
What did she say?
You would be playing something like that.
Oh, man.
Dragged by my wife.
I did not play this in front of my wife
or my parents who were staying with me,
though I was terrified that they would walk in
to my office
and see something like this
scene where all the girls are eating
sushi and one of them
is just sucking it like a dick
just not how you should eat it
she's just in the corner ranch
I don't know if you can see this she's in the corner
Yeah show ranch
Oh is that going to give me trouble?
She's just in the corner
sucking sushi like
like a dick.
Nick's favorite game.
It's his favorite.
Insane.
I'm sorry if I just got, I just
stepped over some social
barrier. No, it's okay.
This game? I didn't pick this game.
No, Nick did.
Nick.
And that's true. We're not just saying
that. We're not just saying that. We're not
punishing him for being
away by playing a good
but horny game.
I will say
it's not good. It's not good.
It's not, don't go buy this game.
No, I would, it's not recommendable.
No.
Right?
Like, it's not like, it's like, it's not Dragon Quest 7 reimagined.
But it's also not shitty.
No.
And it's not shitty enough that there's a franchise.
I would say that like, if it was like 10 bucks, you could do a lot worse.
For sure, you could.
You do a lot worse for 10 bucks.
And if you got it for $2.99, I'd be like, what an hour of play.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know that I'll get back to it.
I don't know that I'm ever going to beat this game.
Like, it does.
It is.
progressing in difficulty in a way that is like, like, scratching an itch in my brain where I'm
like, huh. Because also it's extremely fast. It is so fast, except they don't run fast enough.
They don't run fast enough, but I feel like when you're punching and in fighting, you're in the
air, sometimes I'm like, wait, where the fuck am I? Right, right. It's, it's very fast combat. The
problem, the only problem I found in the combat was, where am I in the visual chaos? How
does the lock on work which I kept forgetting.
Yes. And then
when you would knock back
an enemy like pretty far across
the play area, the play areas
are like, oh, you're in like a
I don't know, you're in a dojo
or you're in like a
woodsy clearing
or you're in like a back street
in Tokyo. Or like
the school yard.
Yeah, school yard.
The field. Yeah, you'll knock back
a character and run
to that character is so slow.
Yes.
And it's a real bummer because that's,
that should have a teleport dash.
And maybe you unlock them.
Yeah.
Because you do unlock moves without a skill tree.
You just unlock moves as you go.
Um, and then eventually I think you can also choose to play as the evil,
evil girls.
Yes.
And unlock a different story.
That's what the burst edition is.
Because I think it, the first version of it was,
skirting whatever
and then
burst was the same game
but with the addition
of the evil
Shinobi story
I think it's a fun time
I
you can certainly get it for the
DS for the 3DS
very easily
if that's something
you're looking for
and you're want to do
I was surprised
because I know that
I'm not friends with Nick
on PlayStation
you're not no
he refuses to befriend me
on the PlayStation
He keeps a low profile
Low profile
He's very private man
I just got the letterbox follow
Wow
That's great
I follow him on letterbox
Do I follow you on letterbox?
I don't think I do
I don't know
I gotta follow you
But
Will you follow me back please?
Of course I will
Thank God
I think I already follow you
I must follow
Are you active on that way
Medium
I gotta get in there
But here's the thing
I'm a fucking clean house
I'll tell you that
I'm not friends with
Nick, I download
Senron Cagora
and two friends play.
You're going to have to tell me who after.
Do I know one of them?
I don't know who they are because I didn't click through.
Would have assumed one of them was iffy.
But most of the games we play on this show
where we're playing some weird game
or a horny game.
Yeah.
No friends in common.
No.
Like, for example, Bubzy,
no friends play this game.
Yeah.
Comes up right immediately.
No friends, no enemies.
No, nobody plays this game.
But then around, I download this game I'd never heard of.
Yeah.
And sure enough, I got two people on my friends list who were already playing this game.
Interesting.
Not, I mean, probably not recently.
But it's, that to me demonstrates that there's a, like, if it was just horny, I don't think people would play it.
There's enough game here that you're like, yeah.
Huh.
If it was just horny, it wouldn't be, there's just like, I don't know.
I don't understand that kind of.
Right.
Because I'm just like, why I just go jack off to some?
something regular.
What the hell's
matter of you?
Yeah, you can see any of this for
free.
You need to buy a video game
to fucking Jack?
What are you doing, man?
Are you 11?
That also doesn't make sense.
Because if you're 11, you don't have money.
You might have your parents
credit card.
Maybe.
I don't know.
That's not true.
If I had my parents credit card when I was 11,
I wouldn't spend
by pornography with it.
Wouldn't be sitting here today.
living, I'll tell you that.
But yeah, so
there's enough game that people, I think, play the game.
Yeah.
And enough play the game that it got a franchise.
I'm stunned.
And I will say, it looks pretty good
and it runs really well on the Steam deck.
Yeah, what the fuck is happening?
It looks really good.
I was kind of shocked.
I mean, beyond the obvious,
but like the character models are all really good.
And just the way the...
The transformations look pretty?
The transformations are great.
By the way, seeing that in 3D on the 3DS, shocking.
Because not all of it is, you know, it was like Switch, but like those cutscenes, those are in 3D.
And you do sort of feel like you should be in trouble.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, I thought like fun, just like a fun, fun little game.
looks great.
I don't know that I'd investigate a new title.
No.
I was talking about it like,
this one's fucking good.
But,
but if,
yeah,
if that happened,
if somebody was like,
hey,
have you played this horny game?
Yeah.
It's called Senran Kagara,
the third chapter or something.
Yeah.
And I'd be like,
no,
but it wouldn't shock me
if a great Senran game came out.
Yes.
like I'd be like that tracks
I also don't need anybody coming up to me
asking me if I've played any other of these
I don't need to talk about it
It's not gonna happen no
But but it's it's right on the line
It certainly feels like I mean also it's a
2011 game or 2012 right
Could it save the switch too? Could it save the switch too
It's a 2012 game and definitely
Feels like a 2012 game
Like it's got that it's got like kind of a retro
Throwbacky
14 years ago vibe to it
It reminds me
of say
No More Heroes on the Wii
It has like this like
Very simplistic
3D world that you're running through
Yeah
But
there's just enough crunch
For it to be
It doesn't put you off
No
Which is so fucking weird
Yeah because it is like
You almost stop noticing it
Right
Yeah we're kind of like
That's definitely like part of it
But you get so locked into, like, the combat and the story a little bit.
We're kind of like, that's third on the list.
Yeah.
And even then, you're kind of like, I don't care.
Did you get to the story of the girl with the long sword?
Yes.
Pretty good story.
Cool character.
Cool character.
Girl with a long sword.
My favorite combat so far.
Yeah, everybody's...
I like the Boots girl, though, too.
Boots girl is good.
Boots girl is good.
I fucking hate the dumb one who's always crying.
Her combat style sucks.
She's the one with the plush?
Yeah, she's got plush and she,
She fights like the way that like a school girl fights.
Yeah, I don't mean any of that.
There's like slapping motion.
Big sword or big for some reason robot boots.
Yeah.
I'm in.
Those two good combat.
Main girl, good combat.
Yeah.
And I understand if I say big in relation to any part of this game could be boobies or butts.
Talking about anything.
But.
Swords and boots is what I'm talking about.
You get, you get Big Swords backstory.
And they're doing like a, you see it in a video.
visual novel and they're doing a family tree like genealogy thing and she specifically doesn't
mention her brother on her family tree and then this degenerate shows up at the school with her
sword and you discover that she's an adopted child and that her ninja family bequeathed her
sword but her burnout deadbeat brother wanted to claim it and so there's like a showdown
between the two of them.
And as I'm reading it, I'm like,
this is a good episode of a fucking anime, man.
It's good stuff.
It works.
It's kind of funny that they like hid this good stuff.
And this kind of just like horny game.
Yeah.
Other things I would like to call out from my notes.
The high school girls are told to keep their ninja scrolls on their person.
So one says,
I keep it under my skirt.
And the other says,
I keep it in my cleavage.
Okay.
I wrote, this game is not playing around.
It's providing exactly what Nick said he would love.
Okay.
Stunned when, I think it's boots,
says to a group of girls in text or like across the screen,
you're all a bunch of pussies.
Yeah, no, that really made me laugh.
That was so funny to me.
I was like, what?
I don't think I've ever read this word in a game before.
That was about when I sort of locked in and was like,
I think this game is good, actually.
There is, when you're fighting enemy Shinobi,
they are also very well endowed.
Yeah.
Big all the-
Yeah, it's not just the main characters, it's everybody.
Every girl got a big titty.
It's in this planet where everybody's like that.
That being said,
main villain girl calls your MC,
Jugs.
It's just funny.
It's like, you know, like that's like, I better call it out before somebody else calls me out.
You know what I mean?
And the main character says, please stop calling me jokes.
That's so funny because they're also just like not markedly bigger.
They're the same size as the enemy Shinobi.
That's really funny.
Can you imagine meeting somebody and calling them jugs?
It's like me going up to another loud person and being like, what's up, loud?
What, you're loud?
What are you talking about?
Um, those are some of my notes from, from early on in the game. And then I got too locked in and kept playing.
Yeah, it was, it was weirdly fun. Do you fight, you fight the German girl? Oh yeah.
What the fuck? I don't know. She, she gets, girls shows up and she's got like, essentially a cloud style Zvihander sword. Yeah. And her, her transformation is into like, like, sound of music clothes.
Every
Every
comedic decision they make
Works
Works
It's an alarming hit rate actually
I wonder if
These guys
Put this game out
Certainly a team of only men
Yeah for sure
Put this game out and we're like
Huh we did we did our best
We kind of snapped on this one
Surprised at the like
The
reciprocity of like how many
people enjoyed this game?
Yeah.
Like, did they know when they were putting out this game, we might have a franchise on our
hands?
Or were they just like, hey, this turned out pretty good for what it is?
I mean, it had to have first been like, I don't care what we make.
They got to be huge.
They got to be huge, you understand.
I also like to ground pound.
Okay, yeah, ground pound.
Because these girls for so reason, as slight as they may be, can shift.
the earth with a punch.
When they fly from aerial combat on the ground, they create a crater in the earth.
It's very funny to me.
And all of the, typically, I would say more often than not you're fighting other girls.
Yes.
And you'll fight like a crowd of girls at the same time.
You'll just have a screen full of girls flying all over the place.
Extremely funny.
And you don't know what's happening.
It's unfortunately good stuff.
It's, it's, it's, uh, Nick.
You son of a bitch, you did it.
You son of a bitch you did it.
Thank you so much for recommending to us.
Senran Kagura burst re-new.
Available on all systems.
Not on Switch.
They have some Sanran Kagura games on Switch, but they have games in other genres.
Yeah.
That aren't like this.
Yeah.
Like this run one that's on mobile.
or whatever.
Yeah.
I got to put it on Switch too.
I wonder if the running is just jiggles.
I think it has to be one of those auto runner,
like Temple Run or some shit, right?
But I bet you there's,
they'd be insane to,
this is the version that doesn't have that.
We didn't put it in this one for some reason.
I mean, it is Nintendo.
Yeah.
Should we do a segment?
Let's do a segment.
I got a segment for us today.
I'm going to see if Heather can rightly guess.
What?
If Ranch knows who.
who any of these video game characters are.
It's time for Dude Ranch.
Dude Ranch.
Welcome on down to the dude ranch.
No, keep going. I can't find the note.
Okay.
Okay, I found it.
Wait, never.
Where the dudes and the ranch is a ranch.
Ranch, let me just ask you generally speaking.
When we're talking about video game characters, how often, like, outside of the segment,
percentage-wise, how often would you say you've heard of what we're talking about?
I would say I retain at least 50%.
Hey, that's not bad.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
So then maybe, who knows, this one might be easy for you then.
Ranch knows more than I know about our own show.
That's probably true.
Once I say the words, they're gone.
Yeah.
So here we go.
I'm going to just name some characters.
I'm going to go to Heather first.
And then you'll tell me if you think Ranch knows whose it is, and then we'll get an answer from Ranch.
Okay.
It's Dude Ranch.
Let's do it, Ranch.
Here we go.
Heather, do you think Ranch knows who M. Bison is?
M. Bison.
Does Ranch know who M. Bison is?
I'm going to say no.
You're going to say no.
I guess.
I should guess, too.
I should guess also.
Yeah.
I'm going to say yes.
Okay.
Just to keep it interesting.
Okay.
Ranch, tell me who M. Bison is.
Mr. Vison from Sonic the Hodge, on.
By your own math.
You have to get half of these right.
We need a t-shirt.
Mr. Bison.
Mr. Bison from sign the head talk.
With an illegal photo of M. Bison.
Absolutely.
So Heather gets the point.
That was not who that was.
That's not who that was.
He's from street fighter.
He's an antagonist from street fighter.
He looks like a fascist.
Yeah.
He's a fascist.
He's a fascist played by Raul Julia.
In the movie.
Played by David Dasdalsmastian.
I can never get his name right.
But I think he's an incredible actor.
He's going to be really good in the new movie.
Great.
Heather.
Yeah.
Do you think Ranch knows Nico Bellick?
No, absolutely not.
I think just to keep it interesting, I have to guess, yes.
Part of me thinks...
There's no fucking way.
He kind of became a meme kind of, no?
Yeah, but I don't think she knows who Nico Bellic is.
Ranch, tell me, who is Nico Bellic?
Nico Bellic.
Have you heard the name before?
No.
There's still a chance you could guess right.
All right, sure, yes.
Nico Bellic is one of the bad guys in Final Fantasy.
No.
Couldn't be wronger if you tried.
Nico Bellick is the protagonist of Grand Theft Auto 4
He's still a bad guy though
He's still bad
A little bit of points
Kind of right
Yeah kind of right
But as far as bad guys go
We're kind of fucking with Nico
Nico's pretty cool
Heco's pretty good
Good track suit
Everybody calls him Nico Bellick
Full name for his last name
Heather
Yeah
Do you think
Ranch knows who Roxas is
No
there's no
I barely know who Roxas is
I have to say yes
why you can also say no
I have to say yes
all right Ranch who's Roxas
Roxas is the other version
of Sora in Kingdom Hearts
Go
I kind of thought Ranch might know
right because she's seen a lot of Kingdom Hearts at home
Ah fuck
It's still good job
And I'm gonna tell Mark
That you earned dinner tonight.
Wow.
Holy shit.
And that's the most perfect answer you could give.
The other version.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Do you think Ranch knows?
Etzio Aritore?
No.
Because I don't know who that is.
No.
I think I know who that is.
Ranch does not know who that is.
Ranch?
Tell me all about Etsio.
Mario and Luigi's
estranged brother.
It is not
Mario and Luigi's a strange brother.
It's me.
Mario, it's me, Etsio.
Mario, Luigi,
Etsio.
Kind of not crazy.
We need that on the front of the shirt
and then the back,
Mr. Bison.
Mr. Bison.
But the front of the shirt,
it has all three of them
and it just says three brothers.
And they're like holding hands.
Etzio is the character from Assassin's Creed.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I was like, I don't know if that's how you say his last name, but Auditori?
Sure.
Auditor?
Auditor.
Do you think, I don't know.
Do you think Ranch knows who Navi is?
Here's the thing.
I think she is going to answer 10.
Technically correct.
I think it's possible.
Yeah.
So you're going to say yes.
I'm going to say yes.
Okay.
I'm going to take the no on this one.
Okay.
Ranch.
Who is Navi?
Navi is a character from Avatar.
It's not what I'm asking.
Right, but that's what I meant by technically.
It's technically correct.
It's not a character from.
It's what the race of aliens are.
But I was like, that is technically a game also.
A game, technically correct?
Kind of.
I'm talking about, of course, the guiding fairy from Legend of Zelda Occurine of Time.
Yeah, yeah.
But you were right.
Navi are the avatar guys, the blue guys.
Did I put this in as a trap?
Absolutely.
To whose benefit?
Who could say?
I don't know.
And finally.
Why do we do the show at all?
Why do we do any of this?
It's all a trap.
It's a trick.
Do you think Ranch knows who Blinky is?
No.
I don't know. Who is Blinky?
You know Blinky.
I don't know who Blinky is.
I'm just going to tell you right now, you know Blinky.
I don't know who Blinky is.
So I don't think Ranch knows who Blinky is.
You for sure know who Blinky is?
I was going to put you at ease.
You know Blinky?
Okay, sure, maybe now I know who it is.
What do you think?
I don't think Ranch knows Blinky.
I'm going to say yes.
Does it keep it interesting?
Either way, you're the winner of this game.
Ranch.
I think we all won.
Who's Blinky?
Actually, I think Ranch won for not knowing these things.
Ranch No for sure.
Ranch one for sure.
But who's Blinky?
Blinky is a duck and animal crossing New Horizons.
That's a really good answer.
For wrong guesses, that's really good guess.
It's a really good answer.
It's the Red Ghost from Pac-Man.
Oh, then I didn't know who it was.
What did you think it was?
I thought it was the clown from Twisted Metal.
No, that's Sweet Tooth.
Oh, okay.
He's got his own thing.
Yeah.
I was like,
Blinky is the red ghost from Pac-Man.
Yeah, that's fine.
Of course, the colors are moot
when you get the big dot
and then they all turn dark blue.
Yeah.
But it's blinky, inky.
Clyde and Sue?
It's Clyde, and then there's another one.
I can't remember what the other one is.
I think it's also an inky.
Clyde is the turn.
Yeah.
I was picked Clyde.
This was a really educated.
educational game of
Dude Ranch.
It's good information
I think for us as hosts
because we need to be doing a better job
in educating Ranch.
I think what implies to me
is that we talk about Avatar
just enough.
That's, and yeah.
So we could be talking about
the other things as much as that
Ranch's knowledge would expand.
But right now we've sort of been
in an avatar sort of
sort of hole.
Let's try this.
Ranch, did you see
the third Avatar movie?
No.
Do you know who Varang is?
Yes.
That and see, yes.
Ferong is the name of our group chat for some reason.
No, we did change the name of our group chat to Varong.
I wake up to pictures of Varang every day from that group chat.
Sometimes several.
That's this week's Get Played.
Our show is produced and engineered by Rochelle Chan Ranch, Yard underscore underscore Sard.
How's Silent Hill F going, Ranch?
It's still going?
It's still going.
Right?
Do you think, where do you think you're at percentage-wise with that game?
You think you're almost done with it or are you still got a lot of game left if you had to,
if you had to guess?
I think I still got a lot of game left.
Okay.
Is what's stopping you an inconsistent streaming schedule or is it like hard and scary?
Very inconsistent streaming schedule, also constantly getting lost and beaten down over and over again.
Okay.
I've been interested in trying the game out.
Yeah.
It seems cool.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful, you say.
Not my Silent Hill.
Legs on top, legs on bottom.
That's right.
All legs, all the time.
Our show's music is by Ben Prunty,
Ben Pruntymusic.com,
and our show's art is by Duck Brigade,
duck brigade design.com.
You can check out our merch, hats, sweatshirts,
regular shirts, and more at kinshipgoods.com.
And check out our Patreon.
Patreon.com slash get played
for ad-free main feed episodes,
our complete back catalog,
including old episodes of how did this get play,
and new episodes with our premium DLC
and the new Get Played DLC show
where we've done all sorts of things so far.
We did a super-sized question block last week.
We did a movie review of Avatar Fire and Ash.
We did a brand new, how did this get played episode,
which is the truth is we kind of sort of Shadow did that today.
We sort of Shadow did that today,
except it was like, how does this get played?
In the most fun way it was actually good.
We got some fun stuff coming up.
This week we're talking about,
about a Final Fantasy 7 anime that we watch.
So we're sort of dipping back into the Get Animated World
a little bit with that.
I wish I had the name of it in front of me currently.
It's called like...
Reunion?
No, it's called like the...
It's not the first soldier.
Crisis Corps soldier.
Last.
Last soldier?
Final Fantasy.
Last battalion.
First reunion.
Final fantasy.
I'm typing this in.
fantasy. If he's
Sephora Roth, I don't want to be right.
That's pretty good.
Final Fantasy.
We're doing a little bit of everything on the
DLC. It's called the Last Order
Col and Final Fantasy 7.
Last Order. And it's an anime and we watched
it. We watched along with it. So you can
find it on YouTube. Watch it there.
Yep. And that'll be it
for this week's
get played. And this week...
The truth is, I think this game got played.
Nick got played by missing out.
By missing out. Nick got played.
And you know what?
we could title this episode?
What's that?
How did Nick get played?
Honestly, we got it.
That's it.
You heard it here first.
Goodbye.
That was a head gum podcast.
Hi, I'm Drew Offalo.
And I'm Jason Offoallo.
And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls.
Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins.
We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a
a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to two idiot girls on your favorite
podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.
