Get Played - How Did Nick Get Played: Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Heather and Matt dig in on "Nick's Favorite Game" Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayed...podMusic by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at getplayedpod@gmail.com Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg plus hash browns and a small coffee for just $5. For limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California, and for delivery. Guys, great news, great news. The game that we have just published, Sanran Cagora, is doing really surprisingly well at retail.
Starting point is 00:00:37 and online sales are pretty robust. So I think we're in the clear. I think this company is going to turn a profit. I've got some worried looks, though, at the table here. I don't know. Maybe you didn't hear me. No, it's great that it's selling great. Yeah, it's selling pretty good.
Starting point is 00:00:57 What do you want to hear? You're pretty good. It's not number one. It's not last. It's nice. No, but it's not enough. We're kind of, we're absolutely fucked. We're eating shit on that.
Starting point is 00:01:07 this one right now. Whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? I have a lot writing on this. What do you mean? Why?
Starting point is 00:01:13 I mean, it's, first off. I put points against my house. You what? I put points on the, on the back end of this game against my house. We have to hit a certain threshold
Starting point is 00:01:21 monetarily or else we're fucking fucked on this, okay? We spent a lot of, a lot of money on this game. We have to make it all back. Or I gotta say goodbye to my fucking house. Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, first off,
Starting point is 00:01:34 maybe this is a relative, Maybe you come from a smaller publisher, you know, I'm not really familiar with your resume. But this was not a AAA game. No. Like, we didn't need to spend a lot of money. I've looked at the asset list and, you know, you have some pretty basic textures. You only got like six character models. I think we're going to be okay.
Starting point is 00:01:55 No, you don't fucking get it, do you? Have you seen the jiggle physics in the game? We put it all in the jiggle physics. I'm sorry, you what? We put it all. What is what is it and what is all? The money. All the money.
Starting point is 00:02:12 You spent, can I, okay, let me look at, let me look at some of these numbers. Hold on, hold on. Because we're, again, I'm, I, let me say, let me say this. Let me say this. I did notice the jiggle physics. I thought they were pretty good. I thought they were pretty good. Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:02:30 That's all pretty good. I didn't spend half a fucking trillion dollars on jiggle physics. You spent what? You spent what? All the money. You spent $500 billion on the jiggle physics for our 3DS game? I told you the money's on the screen, and it had to pop off the screen in 3D. On the screen, there's no game, like the most expensive game in history, I think, was $400 million.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Maybe, maybe, maybe. Did you see the jiggle physics in those games? I didn't think so. There was no jiggle physics in those games. Exactly. That shit costs money, honey. $500 billion. Oh my God, I'm looking at our spreadsheet.
Starting point is 00:03:10 We are in the red, so red that we're in the black. The fuck were you thinking? It's gone so negative. It went all the way back around the positive. We're fucked. We got to figure out how to make money. We're going to have to make DLC. We're going to have to make like, we're going to have to make like outfits or something.
Starting point is 00:03:25 We're going to have to charge 90 nights. What do you mean you can't? What are you talking about? We were to put so many fucking outfits in the game. There's no other new outfits we could put. You put outfits in the game? Yeah. What, to highlight the jiggle physics?
Starting point is 00:03:39 To highlight them to put about grand display. Oh my God. And you're probably thinking there's probably only one cut of underwear and there. There's multiple cuts. What are you talking about? Smaller. Less. You put that in the game free so we can't even charge for anything?
Starting point is 00:03:54 We put it in for free. Fuck. Oh, God, we put it in for free. All right. All right, I've got a plan. I've got a plan. We're going to reuse these assets for 20 years. We're going to make so many Senran Cogra games that will make back.
Starting point is 00:04:07 the money eventually. I got to tell you something. What are you talking about? What do you have to tell me? We're making these games for the rest of our fucking life to get out of the hole that we dug. And anybody could
Starting point is 00:04:21 have stopped me at any time, by the way, I didn't have to put all the money into jiggle physics, but I just kind of went nuts with it. Went a little crazy with it. I just could see how far I could go. Anybody could stop me. Nobody said a goddamn word. And now I'm some fucking
Starting point is 00:04:37 pervert for putting him all, spending all the money, some idiot pervert for putting all the money in the jiggle physics, nobody fucking stopped me, I don't know how many fucking people work here, I could have got stopped any goddamn time. I'll tell you what, after this meeting, the only people who work here is going to be you and me because I have to fire everybody else in the entire building. Let me take a look at these physics. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's actually, that's so bad now.
Starting point is 00:05:08 When you put it like that, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. We hack and slash and booyoyo-yo-yo-yo-y-y-ing as we play Sen-Ren-Ran, Nick's favorite game on this week's Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Matt Apodaka. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premiere video game podcast, where this week, we are short one host.
Starting point is 00:06:05 That's right. We're short one host, but he has left his mark on the show today. I have an email here that I would like to read from him. It says, hey, guys, sorry I'm going to miss the show. But as a little treat, I would love you to play my favorite game of all time. and then he provided us all with paid links. Yes. He bought us all this game.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Yeah. That's a real salute and a shout out to our third host who couldn't be with us today. And he's got it like that. What? Money? Yeah. He's got the bag. He's kind of, he's loaded with cheddar, bread, etc.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Yeah. And he's able to sort of gift us a game. Yeah. That's not nothing. The truth is, I had not heard of this game before. Nick went on and on. I mean, I could read the whole text thread.
Starting point is 00:06:58 The email is really long, yeah. But he was going on and on a text thread to and he was replying to its own text. So it was kind of getting lost in the sauce, as they say. He seems to have sort of an extensive knowledge of this game that we're covering the day.
Starting point is 00:07:13 And hey, I'm sure we'll have thoughts about it too. Because that's the kind of podcast we do. It would be funny if we shared none of our thoughts. We played it and we just went, we played it. And that's it. And then just kind of sit silently.
Starting point is 00:07:25 we played it you know a little behind the curtain here alternately uh the take for this episode could have been yeah we really wanted nick to feel bad that he missed the show yes and so we played a game that we knew he loved yes or would love um and then and then we and then we played it without him yeah but the fact of the matter is that's not what we did and he actually we did just decide because you know what he also he left like an audio note and it sounded like he was about to cry he had tears you You can sort of hear the tears sort of welling up and your throat gets really dry. Yeah. Like the moisture from your throat has to go somewhere and I think it comes out of your tears.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Which is also saying a lot because as far as I know, the last time he cried was canonically 16 years ago or something like that. I think so. Something like that. Yeah. Long time ago. Yeah. Not in the recent, you know, not in the rearview mirror, as it were. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:19 It's when he slid down a banister like a spy and then hit himself in the balls on the, on the, on the part at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he cried because it didn't hurt enough. Yeah. He wanted it to hurt and it didn't hurt. So he started crying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I thought that would have hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Direct quote from the transcript. Yeah. But anyway, Nick's not here. He's on assignment. I like that a direct quote from the transcript implies that Nick has a black box.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Yeah. Like a constant voice recorder going. I think for someone like Nick, You need proof of what you've said and what you haven't said. Yeah. So Nick's on assignment. Look, he's on a dough boys tour. Yeah, he's on a dough boys tour.
Starting point is 00:09:05 He's in my hometown of Chicago. It was frustrated by the restaurants they chose to cover. But, you know, they've been in Chicago before. They've covered some of my faves. Yeah. I just wanted to see him get in the grit. I know they posted this on the doughboy social media. But I feel like we've got to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:09:23 What? Nick spilled on a plane that wasn't moving wasn't in the air wasn't nothing nothing was going on what it appears to have happened is he put his coffee on the floor and then stepped into his own aisle
Starting point is 00:09:40 he yeah I can't you know what that's interesting we'll have to ask him about this exactly how it happened because my interpretation he said that it fell and it landed like just completely face down like or you know you know, top down.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Fell from where? Well, this is the thing, isn't it? Somewhere irresponsible, right? I could imagine it on the arm of the airplane. You know, he was probably in business class. So he had his own little arm. Yeah. Probably, I'll just put it here real quick.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Fucking, probably hip-checked it. Yep. Sent it flying. What also bothers me about it is the thought that I realized upon seeing this spill. Yeah. That the floor of airplanes is just spills. Yeah. Uh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Like, and it has never been wet vacked. No, it's probably the worst place on earth the floor of the airplane. It's probably fucking disgusting. Yeah, yeah. The coffee probably burned off some of the, you probably actually did it a service if we're thinking about it. I've also heard that they don't clean their coffee pots very often. That you should never order coffee on an airplane. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Well, don't order anything that requires dishes to be made. No, that's tough. That is, that is tough. I would go for, you know what, I would go for a tea. Okay. even though we're getting, you know, microplastics in the tea bags or whatever. It feels like a safer bet.
Starting point is 00:10:59 We're just burrowing into our own brains with plastic. I think Nick should have been duct taped to his chair, like the people who couldn't remember how to behave on airplanes after COVID. I think he should have been restrained so he couldn't spill further. They opened the plane door and just fucking the shining style, like liquid just pours out of it down the fucking inflatable slide. God. It's not a water landing, but it's classified as one because of all the liquid he's built.
Starting point is 00:11:33 We miss Nick. We do. We do. It feels like an empty chair in more ways than one. That's right. Well, in the main way that nobody's sitting in it. Yeah. That's mostly how it's empty.
Starting point is 00:11:47 We've done this, though, before. We've, we've had an okay time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'd say, later. better time than when Nick's I would say, yeah, I would say it's less antagonism.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Yeah, yes, because it's now, because I, here's, here's the real thing. I can get away with stuff when Nick's here. When it's just one-on-one, I got to fall in line. I got to, I gotta show a little respect. Well, I feel like, I feel like you can take shots.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Take shots. I can take shots. Apodaka, I'm giving you emotional permission to ruin my life. I don't got anything right now. Okay, great. Great. But who knows?
Starting point is 00:12:25 Stay on target. I'll stay on target. Maybe I'll, hey, hey, maybe I'll, maybe you'll have a green ring around you at some point. And I'll have to press a button and get an aerial, a ninja aerial attack on you later on. Okay, okay. Something from the game. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, green ring, green ring.
Starting point is 00:12:46 I forget. We'll get, I have so much to say about the combat system in this game. If, if we get to that. can't wait to hear what it is there's a lot to discuss I think about well there's a lot to discuss I feel like the game is thin
Starting point is 00:13:03 but not really there's a there's a lot going on let's save it for the top we'll save it for the talk we'll save for the talk about that stuff we're going to talk about the game Senran Kagara
Starting point is 00:13:15 burst what's the other subtitle re-neuel but it's R-E colon Newell and Newell is not a word Like Newell was the memo that you got from your boss.
Starting point is 00:13:28 This is about the Newell. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Senran Coggerda burst re colon Newell. Yes. It's, uh... Maybe the first time Ranch has heard the name of the game we're covering. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Nick's favorite game of all time after Balders Gate 3. Yeah, he said after Balders Gate 3. Like, I'm not going to throw him under the butt. No, Balders Gates for sure the favorite. He's going to be his favorite. He tried to talk himself into it, though. He was like, I think I might like it more than Broadway K-3. And we had to be like, you actually, you just don't.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Yeah. You just kind of don't mean we know that you don't. Yeah. You start to cry again. Yeah. Ranch, have you ever heard of this game? Never. You've never heard of Senron, Kagura, burst, re-colon-newil.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I've never heard of Senora. There you go. Burst, three, Newell. So, would you be surprised to learn it's a franchise? There's multiple I think I think sub 15 but more than 10
Starting point is 00:14:30 An enormous section on the PlayStation store dedicated to purchasable add-ons to these games like scrollable for multiple pages We're gonna talk about it We're gonna talk about it here on the premiere video game podcast
Starting point is 00:14:46 You're listening to get played Oh, God, I am so tired. Oh my God, I am so tired. Ah, that's how I used to sound. Before I got myself a Lisa mattress. I had no idea how important sleep was. I thought I could be like Robocop and exist without sleep. But it turns out you need a really good mattress to get a really good night of sleep.
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Starting point is 00:16:34 25% off mattresses plus an extra $50 off. Support our show and let them know we sent you after checkout. Lisa.com promo code Get Played. Friends, let me tell you, I've had a few people message me directly asking me what I use NordVPN for, and I tell them what I use it for, and they're like, thanks. That's because I actually use this product. And I think that's why we're getting the advertisements for it. Because I, Heather Ann Campbell, use NordVPN. With NordVPN, you can watch TV shows or films that aren't available in your region
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Starting point is 00:20:12 Quince.com slash get played. I got to address a news item from today. Oh, I love to hear it. Didi, tidi, teed, teed, teed, teed to do, de, de, de, breaking news. It's not funny news. It's not good news. Bam, bum, bum, ba, bum, bum, ba, bum, ba, ba, bum, ba, bum. Bam, bum, ba, bum, ba, bum.
Starting point is 00:20:39 What's got the full one. Ubisoft, Ubisoft? How are we saying this? Hubi, Ubisoft? I heard about this, Matt, but I'm going to let you deliver the news to our listeners. They canceled five games that were in active development, and they also, one of which was the Prince of Persia Sands of Time remake. Oh, a bullet to your heart.
Starting point is 00:21:11 A bullet to my heart. One of my favorite games recently kicked off the list of my favorite games. But it's in the, it's part of it. It's in the dugout. Anything that, yeah, exactly. It's on the bench. Yeah, it's on the bench. Yeah, it's on the bench. It's ready to go.
Starting point is 00:21:26 It's not a starting player. It's time to play. But instead, Ubisoft, knifed your liver. Yeah, they sort of knifed my liver with the time dagger and went all the way back to when they decided they weren't going to do that. Yeah. And it kind of sucks. I mean, the thing about it was they announced it in 2020. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:43 And they were like, it's going to be ready. This top of next year. Top of 2021. And I think have delayed it so many times. I am almost like there's no way they were ever going to make. I don't know how these things work internally. It seemed like they were making it and that I had read something today that somebody recently who was working on the project had learned that it was going to be put they were going to like delay it to March I think of next year or something
Starting point is 00:22:13 and then just canceled it completely. Yeah. Just out from under them. And it sucks. It sucks because I mean I don't know the internal structures of how these things work. I don't know if people are like losing their jobs over this or anything like that or if they're just like moving on to another project. But it sounds like there's going to be a restructuring of some kind over there. And, you know, my heart goes out to everybody that was working on that.
Starting point is 00:22:32 We are not a news podcast. No. So what I'm going to say next is baseless. Yeah. And should be treated as the rumors spoken by an idiot inside of a cardboard box. Picture Heather wearing a dunce cap. Yeah. And the dunce says, listen.
Starting point is 00:22:49 but it's spelled L-I-S-A-N. Yeah, yeah, listen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Nissan, but with an L. I wonder if the real wet flop of the latest Assassin's Creed game affected Ubisoft's overall positioning. Interesting. It feels like...
Starting point is 00:23:15 The Assassin's Creed Shadows? Yeah, it feels like that game. came and went without any, like, even the lightest gamer cultural footprint. Yeah, I mean, because we played it a little bit. I liked it to a point. Yeah. It didn't grab me the way Ghost of Yote did, for example. Everything I've heard about it in recent times has been that the port on Switch 2 is incredible.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Oh. And that it looks amazing. They can't actually believe. Same thing with Outlaws, another Ubisoft game. they're like, it's the fact that these games look this good on a Switch 2 is insane. And I don't know what they've done to do that. I don't know what they, or, you know, how they, how they accomplish such a thing. But it is, it is interesting that it's, it's, I mean, what was the last.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Big Ubisoft? What was the last Assassin's Creed game that, like, really was like, I guess it probably was Valhalla, right? Like, I don't know if Valhalla was big everywhere else. I mean, certainly was big in this room and in this podcast. But I don't know that Valhalla was like Maybe it was a big hit I don't know I don't know when the last
Starting point is 00:24:26 We could look this up We could be news Nick would be sort of like on it With the sort of like looking it up He'd be like closing porn tabs Yeah yeah yeah yeah Opening new ones Find out what the most recent
Starting point is 00:24:37 Trying not to cry Most recent What tabs How would you even How would you even look this up Ubisoft hit? Yeah I feel like it like shadows must have sold well
Starting point is 00:24:51 But maybe it's just like nobody cares about it in the same way That like people cared about Uh Ghost of Yote because it's like you know obviously similar In Um similar in scope similar in Uh Sort of genre I guess you could call it
Starting point is 00:25:09 Um But Yote was the one that was nominated for awards and Shadows was not Well here's And again, this is just Reddit. This is just a discussion on Reddit. But there is a Reddit thread. And it is, in your opinion, what was Ubisoft's last good game before they started to decline?
Starting point is 00:25:30 You know, very similar to what we're talking about. And the top comment with only 14 up votes. So, again, not gospel, was I liked Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla. But I think they started to fall when Watchdogs was revealed to be a scam and nothing like the trailers showed. I remember that huge controversy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because when Watchdogs was trailed, it looked futuristic. It was like, oh, my God, like this is a true next generation game.
Starting point is 00:26:02 They're doing stuff that I, like, particle physics and car collisions and hackable. Everybody in the whole world is hackable and has their own backstory. Hack the planet. Hack the planet. And none of that was really implemented. No. I feel like, yeah, those first Assassin's Creed's, well, those first Assassin's Creed came right after the Prince of Persia, like, trilogy of games, right?
Starting point is 00:26:28 And then they tried to do another one. And then Assassin's Creed won. I feel like people didn't really care about the first one, right? Then they did the second one is probably when people start to lock in. They're like, hey, this shit's kind of good. And then through Black Flag, I think is when people were like, these games are really, really great. Yes. And then it wasn't until, like, Odyssey and Valhalla
Starting point is 00:26:49 that were people were like, okay, like, these are still good. You know, these are still great. You know, I hope it doesn't mean that they're trying to, like, you know, restructure, like, sell off parts of the company for parts because I feel like there's a lot of talent in those teams because the games that they make, like, there's nothing wrong with shadows. Do you know what I mean? It's like not a perfect game by any means,
Starting point is 00:27:14 but it's not bad or uninteresting, and it plays awesome. The story I felt like was really cool. Like, it just, you know, at a certain point, with Assassin's Creed games, you're either in for what you're in for or you're in for 200 hours. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:33 And I'm just not going to do that. Right. I can't. I can't. Right. I love Pandora and the World of Avatar. Yeah. I'm not even up for 200 hours of that.
Starting point is 00:27:44 No, no. Let alone a slightly tepid ninja release. What if they could play? What if you could play as wrong? And just like destroy the opening area? It would be great. Just burn down Pandora. Like you can like run her around the menu screen and destroy the menu screen.
Starting point is 00:28:10 It has this is like not like this is for different discussion. What are we talking about? Is it time for Varang talk? When you get, when you introduce a character like Varong in the third movie. Yeah. You're kind of like what she'd been up to this whole time. She kind of tells you what the, what her situation is why she's doing it. Don't you want to see it a little bit?
Starting point is 00:28:33 Well, I saw, you know, I saw a second time this last weekend. Yeah. And listeners, this is a pro avatar podcast. That's right. I saw it a second time this weekend. and I saw it with a friend, a writer friend, who had dismissed. Was it William Shakespeare? The entire franchise.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Yeah, William Jefferson Shakespeare. But he was like... Isn't it funny that you guys kind of have the... You had the same job? That's funny. Jesus. You know what I mean? It's like weird to think about.
Starting point is 00:29:12 You guys did the same thing. We're just trying to entertain people with little stories. My little stories. Little dialogues. Yeah, sometimes little jokes. Christ. Yeah. But, yeah, so I went with a friend who had initially dismissed the Avatar franchise
Starting point is 00:29:25 and after, what has it been, 15 fucking years of me being like, these movies are good, he finally decided to watch all of them this week. Yeah. And we went to see the third one in theaters. And he was like, these movies are good. They're good. They're good. You kind of just have to like submit
Starting point is 00:29:44 Yeah you can't be It's not a film for criticism No It's a film for just dumb fun I made like we were on it This was a couple years ago My wife had not seen the first one And Way of Water was about to come out
Starting point is 00:29:58 And I was gonna try to convince her Maybe go see Way of Water with me But she hadn't seen the first one Yeah And I sort of knew she wasn't gonna watch it If we put it on at the house Right I waited till we were on an international flight to Italy
Starting point is 00:30:07 And I was like hey This is not the most ideal Screening location Right But you have nothing else to do but watch a three-hour movie. Yeah. At the end of this movie,
Starting point is 00:30:17 she goes, that was fucking awesome. And I was like, yeah, it's awesome. It's good stuff. Has she expressed interest in the other two? Absolutely not. I'm waiting for the right flight. It's going to happen. She's going to see these movies by hook or by crook.
Starting point is 00:30:31 I'm glad this friend of yours turned around. My wife, on the other hand, yeah. She slapped through most of the third one. Yes. And she... Works very hard. Was tired.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Yeah, she's very tired. Works very hard. But also came... Went into it with the attitude of this, these films are weird. Yes. These are weird. That's acceptable. And I said to her,
Starting point is 00:30:53 you wept in way of water. And she went, I did? And I went, yeah, you cried about the whale a lot. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, oh, I remember the whale. Yeah. So also there's something about like being in those 3D spaces where you kind of of also don't make memories the right way or something.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Maybe it's because they're not real. Yeah, they're not real in any way. But it's so funny, and I feel like we said this on the DLC, and we'll get to what we're going to talk about in just a second. I don't care. It's so funny to me that these movies are like, you know, there's this race of these blue sort of cat-like aliens. And they're in, they got their whole thing going on.
Starting point is 00:31:40 They're trying to stop colonization on their planet and they're trying to keep their resources. Trying to keep it, just keep it, keep it how they have been doing it. There's also this whole other whale thing that is so interesting. And it's like separate and also not. Like it's like they, like, I would watch,
Starting point is 00:32:00 I would watch a Tolcun movie. I would see the whole thing with just them. The sea story. The sea story in an avatar film is, by the way, whales have, culture. They wear jewelry and clothes. And there's a council of them that can exile you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:16 If they think you're bad. And they have like yearly meetings. Yeah. And they stand upright. Again, I just made out contact with Ranch who I guess didn't know this about the Avatar films. She was looking at me like what we were saying is insane. There's whale culture in the avatar films.
Starting point is 00:32:34 I was thinking about the whale and sponge bob. Mr. Crabs' daughter? Yeah. Because she wears clothes and jewelry. It's kind of like her. They're also cheerleaders. What is her name? Pearl. Pearl.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Wow. Did you know that? I have never seen an episode of SpongeBob. I got one recommendation for you and one recommendation for you home. I've mentioned it on the show before. Watch SpongeBob? The episode with Doodle Bob. Honestly, any of the ones from the early run are good. Doodle Bob? I think, so maybe perhaps
Starting point is 00:33:05 to a lot of millennials, the funniest 23 minutes you'll ever see your goddamn life. Okay. Really funny. Okay. Just good stuff. I got yelled at on a studio tour this last week because I started to try to give the tour. Well, no, we passed a famous person and I didn't know who it was. Oh.
Starting point is 00:33:27 And everybody on the tour was so angry at me. And they were like, you've never seen the pit? And I was like, no. And they're like, but you've seen ER. And I went, no, I've never seen the ER. Got it. And then they were like. This really narrowed it down to who it could be.
Starting point is 00:33:41 And then they were like, they were like, well, what have you seen? And I was like, I don't know. And one goes, have you seen friends? And I went, no, I've only seen one episode of friends. And it was when during the pandemic, my wife was like, you need to watch friends. We watched one episode. And she went, oh, maybe this show's not very good. I got a couple of friends recommendations too.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I've seen every episode of that show. And I think there, you know, for what it does, I think it's great. I think if you, well, some of it hasn't aged great. Yeah. Because it was the 90s. Yeah, it was the 90s.
Starting point is 00:34:18 There's an episode of Ross can't get his pants back up because they're leather and his legs are all sweaty and it's one of the funniest physical performances I've ever seen in my life. I've seen the clip
Starting point is 00:34:27 where they're yelling about getting a couch up a flight of stairs. Oh yeah. This is like. Well, swimmer's goaded. He's just so good. Very famous thing where he's screaming pivot. Pivot.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Yeah. And they can't, they can't, They can't even film it because they're laughing so hard at him. Because he's just, he's unbelievable on that show. They're all great. Yeah. Ranch. Let me ask you something about the whales and Avatar real quick.
Starting point is 00:34:50 I know you don't know the answer to this. So it's kind of like a, just trying to gauge what you think about this. When the whales have their meeting and they're talking, you're probably, you're probably thinking they just kind of get out of the water a little bit, right? Like how a whale would kind of come up for water. is probably what you're picturing. Sure. Ain't wrong.
Starting point is 00:35:10 They stand fully upright out of the water, like monoliths. Do they have legs? I don't know. They're swimming so hard underneath that they can get like this much of their body. And be completely still, basically. Yeah, so they're just like kind of like standing like this and talking. Are they speaking English? No, but they're subtitled in papyrus font.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Are they making noises? Yes. And the noise is very cool visually also because when they're making noise, the water, you know, like when you put a cup of water on a speaker, it'll like make rings and stuff. Yeah, like especially when a transverse Rex is walking toward it. So the way that they speak makes rings that like holds stationary in like locked positions on the surface of the water. It's really neat. Wow. There's a lot of weird things.
Starting point is 00:36:02 He's fucking, this guy's, this guy James Cameron. It's got a lot going on. on good stuff. I saw a director's on table with him and Catherine Bigelow being really nice to each other and I was like, I love that. That's great.
Starting point is 00:36:14 They got a, they had a messy divorce. I mean, like he also, in other interviews has talked about, he's like, you know, Catherine directed an incredible film. Always a fan. Like, he never speaks badly of any of his ex-y. No. And there are many.
Starting point is 00:36:28 And there are a lot of them. Because he's apparently not a good guy. This guy's kind of direct his damn marriage and he can't do it. Yeah. Can't do it. But hasn't he been married to the granddaughter from Titanic since Titanic? That's 25 years.
Starting point is 00:36:42 What? Isn't that who he's married to now? I don't know. The one who plays Rose's granddaughter. What? Isn't that true? Ranch, are you doing truth? Are you truth?comming this?
Starting point is 00:36:55 Wait, is that truth social? Yeah, this go to truth.com. And type in, is this true? What website do you think it is? Yeah, she was. Titanic. Yes, she's a granddaughter. Yes.
Starting point is 00:37:08 So she plays the granddaughter of Rose in the movie. Yeah. And now they're married. Yeah, they have been. I thought you were, first of all, for one second, forgot that it's a fake story. I thought he married the real Rose's granddaughter. And I was like, what the fuck? Was so confused.
Starting point is 00:37:28 He's got to get the story right. Yeah. And there's only one way to get it right. I have to get the details. That can only come. from a relative. And the only way can do that is by
Starting point is 00:37:39 falling in love and becoming married. So funny. Yeah. Anyway, that's enough that's enough Varang talk. We're not here.
Starting point is 00:37:46 This is, believe it or not, this is not the premier Varang podcast. It also kind of is. It is. It definitely. Nobody's talking about
Starting point is 00:37:55 Varang like we are. Nobody is. Did you see that fan cam thing I sent you that was like the ad that's just Varang footage? I haven't watched it yet because I'm planning to pull it up
Starting point is 00:38:03 on my TV when I get home. Dude. and stand in front of it. Dude, it's so good. It's such a good edit. I like that they've... Fuck it. I'm just going to show it to right now.
Starting point is 00:38:12 I like that they've leaned into this hard. I don't even care about the show anymore. That's not even true. That's not true. No, I don't care about the show that we're doing. Oh, well, today. More important to me... Is that I see the Varang fan cam.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Is that you see the Varang fan cam. Okay. Ready? Here we go. Her face is so mean. She's a mean, she's a mean lady. Okay. It's got good music, too. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:38:37 I'm just going to start it over with. Oh, my God. Okay. This is unbelievable. They, like, know she's hot. It's so funny. Do you think this was, like, a move they did on purpose? Like, do you think James Cameron was, like, in the room?
Starting point is 00:39:02 Not in the room. Like, he has a writer's room. This is all his brain. Do you think, like, when he pitched the third one, he's like, and there's a hot one, by the way. And by the way, there's one that's, going to make people fucking insane. The edit there
Starting point is 00:39:14 where she's walking and they cut to the flashbulbs. Yeah. Made it look like she was a real world celebrity also. Insane. It's so good. Wrong?
Starting point is 00:39:25 If they don't make the fourth one, I'll be bummed. But if she doesn't have like fully an hour of that film dedicated to her. Yes. Of the three and a half that's probably going to come out. Yes. When I saw it again this weekend, the things I noticed, this is how this all started.
Starting point is 00:39:44 One, they live in their burnt out tree. Yes. Which I didn't catch the first time. I thought it was just rocks, but they live in their burnt out tree. So like there is nice visual. It's a very video game environmental storytelling moment. Yes. What was the other thing I was going to say?
Starting point is 00:40:01 They live in their burnt out tree. Oh, and realizing that for a full 20 minutes of that film, they just, they just, they just, abandon the protagonist. Yeah. Just so you can hang out with Varon. Here's what we got going on over here. Like fully just as if
Starting point is 00:40:19 Jake Sully's not even the star of the show anymore. And he's kind of not. He takes a back seat in this one. Yeah, he does. He does. It's more of a family movie. It's more of a family movie than the last Fast and Furious movie, I'd say.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah. And Fast means family. I would have loved to see Noel Wiley in person. Who? The person that you didn't know who it was. Oh, okay. You're not watching the pit. No.
Starting point is 00:40:43 You got to watch the pit. I don't watch stuff. I watch anime only. The pit's kind of like anime. I watch anime only. It's true. The pit is kind of like anime. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:53 There's some characters in the season, in the first season. It's their first day being doctors. But they're not even called doctors yet, right? Okay. All those crazy shit happens. At the end of the day, they had sort of a Shonen arc. Because they're like nervous. Things keep fucking up, keep happening to them.
Starting point is 00:41:12 The day keeps getting crazier and crazier. By the end of the day, they're just sort of like, guess I'll see you tomorrow. And just like, it's good stuff. It's nasty, too. That's what I've heard. It's fucking nasty. I've heard it's a gross show.
Starting point is 00:41:24 It's really gross. My wife sees stuff like this all the time. She's not phased by it. I'm watching this show. I'm yelling yuck. Yuck constantly. Ew, yuck. And then she just like makes fun of me.
Starting point is 00:41:35 She's like, you can never work in a hospital. You'd be throwing up everywhere. Yeah. I can't, I can barely walk into a hospital, let alone work. No, no, no, no. Yeah, it's bad stuff happens there. Yeah. Nasty stuff. Nasty business.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Poop mixed with blood. Poop mixed with blood. P mixed with blood. P. mixed with poop. Yeah. Inside on the outsides. Outside on the, well. Yeah. All of it. All of the different combinations. But we're not here to talk about that. No, we're not. And we're not here to talk about Varang. But if she comes up again, I'll golly speak of her. Yep.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Hey, buddy. Now that the holidays are over, you might be feeling like you've got a big spending hangover. The drinks. The holiday food, the gifts. It all adds up. Luckily, Mint Mobile is here to help you cut back on overspending on wireless this January with 50% off unlimited premium wireless. Hey, you know what?
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Starting point is 00:47:36 Get 55% off Babble.com forward slash played. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com forward slash played. Rules and restrictions may apply. This is a video game podcast. It is a video game podcast and we've teased what we're going to talk about. But that's not even what we're doing now. It's not what we're doing now. The show's got a bunch of different parts and a bunch of different things we're doing at all times.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Four parts. intro nonsense. Yes. The part we kind of doesn't just do whatever we want. Yeah. Then there's, we talk about games
Starting point is 00:48:18 that we're playing currently. Which we'll get to. Then we talk about the game topic at hand. And then we usually have a segment. That's kind of five parts actually. It is? Intro nonsense.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Oh, intro nonsense. Oh, because I'm thinking about intro nonsense as two separate things. Oh, you're thinking cold open. Cold open and intro nonsense. What we're playing, the main topic and then segment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:39 So now you know what show is. Now you know, and that's, so you, so I don't want anybody getting scared at any point during the show. You have a table. Yeah. You know it's coming. You've got a map. You can't be scared. But there's a question that comes up every week on this show. And that question is, what are you playing? What are you playing? Hi, it's me the resident evil merchant and I'm gonna ask what? Where's Nick? Nick's not here. He's, uh, he's on assignment. He's with the dough boys. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Were you supposed to go to? Are you supposed to go?
Starting point is 00:49:15 What's what's what's wrong? I don't know. I kind of, I fucked up. How'd you fuck up? You just got here. I was supposed to be there. You were supposed to be in Chicago with the doughboy. Were you going to be the guest on the show?
Starting point is 00:49:32 What's that? No, no, no. But I was going to be on the show. You weren't going to be the guest, but you were going to be on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I talked to Nikki, and I said, what are you doing? You call him Nikki.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah, Nicky, little Nikki. I talked to Nicky, and I was like, what are you doing? And he's like, I got to get it, please leave my apartment. And I went, no, where do you? Why are you packing a bag? Yeah. And it's like, I'm got to go on a trip. Please leave.
Starting point is 00:50:00 My wife is a friend. Yeah. And I said, where are you going? He's in Chicago. And I went, say, you're there. And then I fell asleep and forgot. So you didn't have like a plan for what you. You were going to do, you're like, Nick's going, I'm going.
Starting point is 00:50:13 Yeah. You're sort of like his enforcer, his bodyguard. I got to say, I bought my friend. That's really nice. That's great. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you when you come back. I hope he's safe. He'll be okay.
Starting point is 00:50:25 He's with some other big guys. He's with Mitch and Gabris. They're going to take care of him. Yeah, right, I wait. Yeah, nobody's going to be messing with Nick. He's also a big guy himself. I just don't want him to, like, you know, take a photo and be like, oh, I'm in a taxi. I don't know where I am, help.
Starting point is 00:50:42 No, I've actually, in my experience, when you're in a taxi, you sort of know exactly where you are and where you're going. For the most part. I imagine him like... You get one of these crazy taxis. You might be a bit of a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, exactly. That's how the song goes.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Yeah. All right. Well, I guess I'll just ask you. Murdo up a bonaca. What are you praying? President the Evil Foremerchant, thank you so much. I have some huge news. Huge.
Starting point is 00:51:10 I don't know if it's huge. Walking your back immediately. Okay, I want to know what it was. I said this year, I'm in sort of a sort of cozy, sort of RPG mode. Yeah. Really took down the Dragon Quest 7 reimagined demo. Yeah. I've been playing Hades 2, not quite the same thing, but like have been enjoying that.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Yeah. Finding coziness in that a little bit. But I'm in sort of a cozy mode. Oh, cozy mode. And I was like. It's January on the podcast. January on the podcast. It's been 80 degrees all month.
Starting point is 00:51:44 It's true. Today was a brisk 68 degrees. And I just have been like you know, I mean actually I've been playing my Switch 2 quite a bit. Wow! Were you convinced by our own episode? No, I've just been doing it. Oh, that's great.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Also, of note Switch sales, though they were depressed over the holidays are skyrocketing in Japan currently. We got to delete the episode. We don't got to delete the episode, but I do think that maybe, maybe we buried, we buried that casket too early. We'll see. Hey, sounds like they took some of our notes to heart actually.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Yeah, maybe they did. I think maybe they heard our show and got fucking scared. Juice the numbers a little bit. What are you playing on Switch? Anyway, we were right the whole time. That's my job. What are you playing? I switched you.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Started a new game. Not a new game. New to me. Game that I've had in my backlog for a while. Oh, I love to hear it. Octopath Traveler. Hey! And let me tell you something.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Oh, man. That makes me really happy for you. This shit's fucking good. It's so good. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. It's the 2D HD aesthetic. I love that.
Starting point is 00:53:03 I love the score is amazing. Like all the music in the game is fucking insane. The voice acting. Yeah. Kind of something that you're not really thinking about a game like that having for some reason. Yep. Fully voice acted. Fully voice acted.
Starting point is 00:53:20 And like it's really good too. Yeah. Really, really great, fun stuff. I started with the character Cyrus, who is a scholar. And right now I have a party of three. It's Cyrus, Ophelia, and I believe her name is Hanit. And she's a honey. who like can summon beasts and then also capture beasts so there's like a
Starting point is 00:53:46 Pokemon element yeah to that as well yeah and I'm absolutely loving it and like it's like a game that like it's turn-based so there's like and there's like it's also extremely dense yes there are I feel like sometimes you can it can go like 10 minutes yeah before you're like moving around again yeah like it'll just be like, here's every shit that's been going on in my little town. And so once you meet a new character, I'm sure this will stop at some point. But like there's all these characters in the game. You go around and you start collecting them for your party so you can start swapping them out
Starting point is 00:54:27 here and there. But then their stories continue elsewhere. So you're going around the world map to continue their stories and continue the overall story of what it is. But every time you meet a new person, you have the opportunity to add them to your party immediately and you could either just continue from that point or you could go back to the beginning of their story and find out how they got there and find out how they got there and that is so fun yeah and so cool um but it is like a lot of like it's a lot of reading yeah and it's a lot of uh well you know there's voice acting too but like it's just like there's a lot of text
Starting point is 00:55:02 in the game yeah yeah it is a it is a rich fully realized RPG rich is a good is a great word for it absolutely um I love the battle system too. Like it's just like it's just very fun. Yeah. It's fun to as as Cyrus, you have a skill. I think it's called analyze or something.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Mm-hmm. Where like each monster, until you've encountered them enough times, you kind of don't know how to take them down or what they're weak against. So you can analyze and or learn by doing and just like attack. And then like sometimes, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:38 a character might be weak to arrows or something and you can break their shield or whatever and get a couple of free rounds in before they can start attacking again and that is so fun I love that I also it's just like it's even just like the fidelity of the game is really good
Starting point is 00:56:01 because like I've replayed what is it Final Fantasy I'm used to playing the original Final Fantasy even on the Game Boy Advanceer like I replayed the pixel version of three because I never played that before I only played the DS version of three
Starting point is 00:56:19 and even those look they're very flat and then the font is also you know they kind of just are not very nice looking they didn't do that much to make them nice right right these games are like brand new but with sports
Starting point is 00:56:36 brights right so like it's just like they're just very very like lovingly made they are they're gorgeous i've seen people output them to CRTs like old televisions oh my god and they are breathtaking it and it's crazy because it's these they just did those dragon quest ones which i also recently picked up uh dragon quest three okay yeah HD 2d on like deep sale got that they did they have a new one coming out as like the Adventures of Elliot or something. It's not the boy from E.T. But if it was, day one purchase,
Starting point is 00:57:12 got to see what he's up to. His life probably after that really boring, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he works in finance. Nothing else crazy ever happening to that guy. He had the one thing. E.T. God, what a, what a sequel that would be to write. My life was crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Well, he's insane now. Well, everybody knows this happened to him. I saw this online rumoring right now that the White House is about to disclose that aliens exist. And that... I don't need to know. And that the UK banks have prepped for a financial collapse. Okay. Because they think that the stock markets will just go crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:52 And this is not a news podcast. Yeah, it's not a news podcast. There's a lot of online mumbling about this. Elliot is a kid who knows they exist and is just walking through the world in a world where nobody else thinks they exist. Yes. And he has, I bet he's ostracized.
Starting point is 00:58:10 I bet he, when he gets drunk, everybody's like, oh, God, this fucking story again. We know his finger lights up. Shut up already. He took a flower from your sister. Jesus Christ. He drank beer and you got drunk. Sure.
Starting point is 00:58:26 whatever, dude. Like, what a sad sequel that would be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man. Man, I almost want to cut this whole section out of the podcast and just fucking write this. It could. It's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Like, you could just not call it ET too. You could just have a story where the implication is it's Elliot. Yeah. Yeah? Elliot. E.T. But that's how you, that's the poster. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:51 It says E.T. The E and the T are really big and then the rest of it is really small. Oh, man. That's good. Matt, we should do it. I mean, at the very least... Did we call up Adam McKay? At the very least, I feel like
Starting point is 00:59:02 talking about it like this on the podcast... It's ours. Makes it out. Like, people would be like, they just fucking stole this from the get played assholes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We see it next week on Saturday Night Live.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Yeah. But having worked there, I know that they get accused of ripping stuff off all the time. It is a lot of just parallel thought. They don't fucking look at anything there. It's like, how could you? Like, they don't want.
Starting point is 00:59:26 You're too busy worrying about what fucking anything, like the president said. You know what I mean? And then the rest of it's kind of like, oh, yeah, I saw this guy with a weird hat or something. Yeah, yeah. Yep. That's it. That's the show. You know, that famous sketch, guy with the weird hat.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Anyway. Isn't there literally a sketch about guy with weird hat? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Anyway. So you're playing octopath. Playing octopath. And I'm, it's not, it's just in my thoughts all the time.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Yeah. It's just exactly what I've been wanting. Just absolute. posiness. So I was circling back to this. That aesthetic is so good and it's funny that it's just like a Square Unix thing, which I'm like, yeah, I guess I don't want other people doing it. Right. But it is an interesting lesson. And like they're all like kind of like very critically well received these games. And it's kind of, I don't know, it's shocking that they haven't done it with Chrono Trigger yet. Shocking they haven't done it with obviously Pokemon's not Square Unix, but like I feel like they could
Starting point is 01:00:26 also do something like that. It would be really cool. But they should be doing it with those early final fantasies also. The priorities that all of these game companies place are so obfuscated and bizarre to me. For example, as of today, Nintendo updated Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong Country Returns HD. Yeah, which is a 3DS game that then became. It was a Wii.
Starting point is 01:00:57 It was a Wii game that then became a 3DS game that then became a Switch 1 game and is now updated for Switch 2. Yes. Why are they updating Donkey Kong Country Returns HD? But it's not even just an update. They added a whole ass character to the game. What are they doing? It's so crazy. I kind of love it.
Starting point is 01:01:20 It's a game that I skipped that then I've also recently was like, I have to get this now. Isn't the virtual boy like coming out like next week or something like the add-on? I think so. I think it comes out, I think it comes out in February. Like what is happening over at Nintendo? I don't know. We literally did this show last week. They deemed it important to update a 16-year-old video game.
Starting point is 01:01:45 And I can't fault them for that. I think that's funny. It is funny. That is good. And they just remember that tweet that was like, I did this, this and this. And they just tweeted it out. Yeah. That's kind of what they did with it.
Starting point is 01:01:57 They kind of just put it out. Like there was no, there's a direct coming up. Yeah. And they were just kind of like, ah, here you go, I don't give a fuck. Here's Donkey Kong. Yeah. Here go nuts.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Who gives a shit? Announcing today. An update to We Fit. What the fuck? It's in Spanish now. You're like, wait, why? I guess good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Heather, what have you been playing? Matt, you know this because I texted you about it. I followed you into the world of Dragon Quest 7 reimagined. Fucking game made me so happy and melancholy. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, there's a feeling I have here that is like being taken care of. Like this game, it's got me. It's going to take care of me.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I don't have to worry about anything. Nothing is going to be too crazy. every single NPC in this village is going to have something different to say. And once another event happens, they're going to have a different thing to say. How a game can be programmed so that when you pick up a barrel and smash it on the ground, whether or not you find something in the barrel, the action of doing it is pleasurable? Yeah. This is the mastery of a Dragon Quest game.
Starting point is 01:03:17 because I also went back to playing Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth. And I'm only a Ju-on because when I get access to a new area, I have to clear every fucking quest. Can I just put you at ease? You don't have to. Yes, I do. You do to a point. This is the way I play.
Starting point is 01:03:39 This is my final. I was there with you. I was doing that same thing. At a certain point, I was like, I have to get to the end of this. You're not there yet. I'm not there yet. I cleared all of the area, the Juan area stuff. And then I was showing, my parents are in town and I wanted to show them.
Starting point is 01:03:56 The Campbells are in town? The Campbells are in town. My mom wants to come say hi on the podcast. Oh, please. So I want to show them what games look like now. So I showed them the opening of Death Stranding and went, what the fuck, look at this fucking thing. Check this shit out. Yeah, look at this.
Starting point is 01:04:09 And then I also was like, and then you want to see what cloud looks like now. And I showed them this game. My dad falls asleep instantly. I'm familiar with cloud. I mean, I've been dressing up as cloud my whole life. Yes. So I'm showing it, and I finish the final side quest in the Ju-on intro area, and I enter into Ju-on, and you're like running down these, like, rickety tunnels underneath the city proper,
Starting point is 01:04:32 and fucking everybody is like clinging into chairs and knocking fucking shit around, and it's like, it's like a minor hurricane walking down that tunnel. The most destructive crew imaginable. Well, it's, what's jarring about it is it's so badly designed. Yeah. It's funny, but it also instantly makes you think these guys are idiots. And they're assholes. They're idiots and assholes.
Starting point is 01:04:59 Yeah. And nobody reacts to it. They are terrorists. And it's one of those things in a video game that, like, gives you a real large distance between yourself and the story. Like, it has to, it's like when Link is in somebody's house and breaks everything in the house and the guy doesn't do anything or say anything. Right.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Right. So there's this feeling in a game usually where you're like, ugh, this isn't quite supposed to be happening this way. For some reason in Dragon Quest, when you go into somebody's house and you pick up a barrel and you smash it on the ground, it feels like that person is fine with it. Yeah, they sort of put that there and be like,
Starting point is 01:05:38 hey, if somebody comes in, doesn't knock, just walks in, picks up a crate or a jar or some shit, smashes it, that's fine. I put it there for them to do that. That and the legacy sounds, Ian of Dragon Quest game, and all the way up until the most recent one, you know, you go into a building and it's like,
Starting point is 01:05:55 chch, chuk, chuk. Those legacy sounds are so, are they're so comforting. I felt, I felt like sad. I tried to express this over text. I was like, games shouldn't have done anything but this. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:10 We fucked up. Fortnite, my favorite, now my favorite game of all, time. Yes. When I play Fortnite, I don't leave feeling well. No. I feel accomplished or I feel energized or I feel like tons of dopamine, adrenaline,
Starting point is 01:06:26 all of those feelings. Right. But I don't feel like good. Yeah. I feel anxious even. I said this and this sort of applies to Fortnite though too. But what Dragon Quest does extremely well, more so than even like, Final Fantasy or some of the, or just any of the big games in the last couple of years.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Yeah. Bright colors and smiling faces. It is. Even the enemies are smiling. They're smiling. Slimes are smiling. Even the creepy ones, they're kind of like, hey. Like, they look like cartoon characters.
Starting point is 01:06:59 So you're never like, there's not a single moment of distress in a Dragon Quest game. There really aren't. And you're kind of like, sometimes there's a boss and you got to sort of, you have to get past that. But there's never any sort of like, I mean, as far as I know. Well, you'll get like, you'll get a character. get confronted by a surprise and they'll go like this. And then they'll go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:21 And they get right back into serious, like, that's the range of their emotional state. Yes. Is surprise? Like, cartoonish surprise, back to determine. I love it. I love it. It's so good. I'm so glad you called it out.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Every day that I turn on my PlayStation, I'm like, I'm like, nobody's around to play Fortnite. night right now. What should I play? I scroll through my games. I'm like I could go back in a fucking play queen's breath or whatever the fuck that card game. Queen's blood. Queen's blood. Should be its own game. Should be its own game. It's great game. It's really good. Really good game. But I'm like looking at my like, you know, cross media bar and I'm trying to decide which of these games to play. And I'll see that demo and I'll be like, oh, is that out yet? And I click on it and click through it. And it's not out yet. And I'm like, come on. God damn it. So you're going PlayStation on that one.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I don't know that yet. Okay. Because I played it on my Switch 2. I know you did. To me, that's a Switch 2 game. Through and through. It probably looks great on the 5. It looks so fucking...
Starting point is 01:08:26 I'm sure it looks probably identical on the fucking... Yeah, it's probably not that crazy. Yeah. But... I just feel like... Do you want to know the truth? You'll have it on the big TV. I mean, here's the thing you can play it on Switch 2 on the big TV too.
Starting point is 01:08:38 You want to know the truth? You want to play it on the portal? No. You want to know the truth? What's that? It's the controller. Yeah. It's that fucking, that, like, adaptive triggers, that dual, that dual sense or whatever it's called.
Starting point is 01:08:52 That's a good controller. That's really good. It's basically the controller is the reason I'm playing it on PlayStation. And that's fair. That's you're right. It's a good controller. Yeah. But you played that.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Yeah, I played that. So good. We played something else, too, didn't we? We did. Nick's favorite game of all time is part of a franchise. It's Senran Kagura. of which we played, Senran Kagura burst
Starting point is 01:09:17 re... What? Renewal. That's it. Renewal. Developed by Tamsoft, Marvelous, meteor ice,
Starting point is 01:09:25 honey parade. All of these are the companies that were involved in Senran Kagra. Marvelous is
Starting point is 01:09:36 very well known for their action games. No affiliation to Billy Crystal. What? You know how he does that You look marvelous Are you not familiar with
Starting point is 01:09:48 Billy Crystal's uvra? No That's fine If Nick was here He would have loved that That was for Nick In many ways all of this is for Nick But that in particular
Starting point is 01:10:02 That was for Nick So anyway The series debuted This is taken from Wikipedia The series debuted in Japan in 2011 with the release of Senran Kagura Shogatji No Shinae or Senran Kagara Portrait of Girls
Starting point is 01:10:21 for the Nintendo 3DS and debuted abroad in 2013 with Senran Kagara burst. The franchise has expanded into video games, manga, adaptations, anime series and plenty of merchandise. I had not... I'd imagine some of the merchandise that's available for this property.
Starting point is 01:10:39 I had never... I'd never heard of this title. but I'm going to read the games in the series because for a lot of our listeners probably there's going to be some listeners like oh my God these guys and then some of them are probably like what are they talking about? I feel like a lot of the I feel like more than a handful of our listeners are going to be like I love these. Yeah so you've got from 2011
Starting point is 01:11:03 for the Nintendo 3DS Sanran Cogara skirting shadows then you have San Rencagara burst then you have new wave Then you have Senran Kagara Shinobi Verses. You've got Bon Appetit, Diem Crimson, Estival versus, Peach Beach Splash, Reflections, Shinobi Master San Rancagara, New Link. Then Burst Renewal, which is the one we played from 2018. Then you have Peach Ball, Neptunia X San Rencagara Ninja Wars,
Starting point is 01:11:33 and then finally from 2024, San Rencagara Run, which is a mobile only game. Here's what these games are. Imagine Naruto, the franchise about ninjas. Yes, that's right. But imagine instead of ninjas, it's all high school girls in short skirts.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Yeah. They... That's not all. That's not all. They also have giant tits. They have... giant giant breasts
Starting point is 01:12:13 and let me say Nick's favorite game it's Nick's favorite game and I think I can say this on this podcast you know I've had a double mastectomy no game has made me miss my breasts more than Senran Cagra burst renewal
Starting point is 01:12:33 I look at those one million years could have guessed that that's what you're going to say Look at those boobs on the on the big screen and I think man boobs were fun to have yeah and these girls are having tons of fun with them they're having a lot of fun their backs probably really hurt destroyed yeah yeah destroyed so go ahead no um it's insane it's it's insane they're very very very very very large brass what is this game it is a game about a ninja school a Shinobi school where a bunch of
Starting point is 01:13:10 On its own, pretty good idea. Pretty good idea. They've got to learn somewhere. It is at a high school, but it's in a secret entrance where they cannot co-mingle with regular students. But they go to a school, they train to be ninjas because they're a good and evil Shinobi in Japan. And the good ones have to fight the evil ones
Starting point is 01:13:29 to maintain the balance. And that just makes sense. There's nothing wrong with any of that. Nothing wrong with any of it. And the truth is, for a game that, is so brazenly open-faced about its just horniness. Fan service. Fan service.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Like it's straight. It never pretends to be anything but what it is. Yeah. The inclusion of a story at all shocked me and impressed me. It's not a bad story. It's not a bad story. It is like kind of like, I mean, you could see the bones. for what could be like a B plus anime.
Starting point is 01:14:12 Sure, you know what I mean? There's enough there where you're sort of like, hey, this is, yeah. All the, all the main characters are interesting. Yep. They all kind of have their own bit. They got their own thing going on. Yeah, they got their own bit.
Starting point is 01:14:24 A steampunk, like, eye patch kind of thing going on. I mean, these student girls. One of them has dark hair. With their big, big, big tities. Yeah, yeah. You start this game with a, with a cold, open where you're fighting on a rooftop and you aren't given at least on the I played on PlayStation 5 Apataka I hear you played on Steam and 3DS yeah I had to really be
Starting point is 01:14:48 comprehensive on this one and so I did get it on my Steam deck and started there had to see what the 3DS version was like because this is right this new one is a you know a remake of that right it starts basically the same way the only real difference is that the 3DS version is more of like a 2.5D action game where it is like a side scrolling, it's 3D models in a 2D space. Okay, okay. Yeah. Well, the PlayStation 5 version, which is what I played,
Starting point is 01:15:22 fully 3D environment. Yes. You start on a rooftop. You're having a big battle with a bunch of other ninjas. You were given no tutorial fucking at all. No, you're just going. You're just expected to hit buttons and move around and by and large, once you start doing it, you're like, oh, I get it. Okay, these are light attacks. This is heavy attack. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:43 I'm still not sure how to lock onto an enemy, but I think I can just run. Okay, this is block. Like, as long as you're just pressing the buttons, it really teaches itself. I do. So this is what I think about the combat system. I have two minds of this. I think it's robust enough for somebody who actually wants to play a video game. Right.
Starting point is 01:16:02 Right? Like, because there's like there's parries. There's special attacks. There's like, there's other, I mentioned the aerial attacks. Like that's like its own thing. And each girl has a unique fighting style and cadence. Yes. That stuff is great.
Starting point is 01:16:19 And it's like it's meaty enough where like, yeah, like a real gamer could play this game and be like, this is, hey, there's a lot going on here. There's a game here. On the other side, the combat, it's while it's also robust, it's you could be just like a full on like what am I trying to say here if you just want to see like the big boobed girls you're not going to have any trouble playing this game I think like it is like easy enough it's not I've this I've not run into any real challenge with this game even I died twice later on you died twice how far did you get I don't know how far I went but I I fully died twice like the game becomes including increasingly technically, did you ever get, so like, were you ever poisoned in a fight? I can't say that I was. I might have been, but maybe you were able to overcome the poison.
Starting point is 01:17:13 Like, as you go, the other characters that you're fighting throw more and more shit at you. And the timing of Perry's becomes a little bit more, because I was playing it mindlessly. I was just like, I don't give a fuck about me in this. You're doing what I said that could be possible. And then I got up against a boss who both poisoned me and then they Shinobi transformed and then they used a special move on me and all at once I got killed. And I was like, wow. But we're ahead of ourselves. There is a, you're introduced with combat.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Yes. You're on a rooftop. You're having a fighting game. And then you finish the level and you cut to a ninja school interior where these fully rendered 3D. are having little scenelets with each other. The scenelets are horny, but they're having little dialogue. And it's not, it's not visual novel style where you're just reading the text on screen. That comes later.
Starting point is 01:18:14 Yes. Because it turns out this game is a, is a hors d'oeuvre plate of a bunch of different types of games. Yes. All centered around unlocking and witnessing increasingly horny. vignettes of these of these the five main girls or six main girls. Yes. After you get your introduction to this game done, you launch into a fully 2D hand-drawn animated animate opening.
Starting point is 01:18:47 What? It was stunning. It's stunning. It was so, it looked so, I was playing it on my Steam deck. Also, it looks great on the 3D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was playing it on my Steam deck. And I don't have the OLED steam deck
Starting point is 01:19:02 And I was like, this looks fucking awesome This is so good. I was so shocked when on my big screen All of a sudden I'm watching a full-blown Saturday afternoon Anime opening. Of like telling me the story of all these fucking girls. The song is good too. The song fucking rules.
Starting point is 01:19:20 And I was like, wow, did Nick actually point us at a real game? Yeah, this was pretty good. When he said it, it was kind of like a prank. kind of, but in many ways, uh, he set us up for success here. He really did. There's a lot going on. They'll say one of the main differences so far I've noticed in the versions that I've
Starting point is 01:19:41 played, the 3DS version and the one on Steam. In after, after that you sort of have the, you can go to the, I can't remember what it's called the Ninja Room. Yeah, ninja room. And that's sort of, uh, in, in the modern version of it, that's a menu. And each, uh, option, you know, is just something. you can select. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:01 In a 3DS version, that's a playable space. Oh, wow. And you can walk around to the library or to the dressing room or, or, or, you know,
Starting point is 01:20:11 whichever are the other rooms there are. Yeah, you, you unlock this ninja room space after your cold open, and the ninja room is, um, a menu of things you can do.
Starting point is 01:20:24 So you can go to the dressing room and you can toggle. And normally in a game like this, you'll start with like two hours. And the shop, the in-store, in-game shop is going to have like 10,000 outfits. And that is sort of the gameplay loop. Yeah. It's like, oh, I really need to buy a bathing suit from this girl and have her fight in a bathing suit. I got to buy the red one.
Starting point is 01:20:44 I have the blue one. I have to buy the red one. But in this game, you start with an enormous library of clothing options. You would, in theory, never have to buy one. Yeah. There's so many. So many. You dress up each girl, however you change.
Starting point is 01:21:00 hair color, their eye color, their tan lines. You change everything about them. Yeah, I read it. I read about these options. I went through them. I read about it. I went through a bunch of them. Yeah, no, I read about it.
Starting point is 01:21:13 And I was like, okay. And Nick called me and went to tell me all about it. There's two main outfits. So like the way the combat works is you have your main outfit that you start a place a game in. And then you can ninja Shinobi Transform, which is like a Sailor Moon Seek. with really, really tight close-ups on butts and boobs. Well, it's also like, okay, so yeah, you, you are,
Starting point is 01:21:41 you're shedding, part of the transformation is you're shedding the clothes that you're wearing. Right. And the way that presents itself is that the clothes sort of like rip off of you, revealing basically a nude body. Yeah. with parts censored. Yeah, like glowing highlights over nipples and vagina. Yes.
Starting point is 01:22:07 That stuff's, that's insane. Which I thought maybe on the Steam version was going to be like fully uncensored. It's not. Okay. Did I request a refund immediately? Actually, this good, with games we've done in the past, like this, this is easily a game I would probably refund. Yeah. The game's kind of fun.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's like, it's good stuff. It's kind of fun. In the DS version, in the 3DS version, there is no censorship, but there's no implied nudity either. Oh, okay. It's just their damn underwear. Okay. Well, you, yeah, you go fully nude.
Starting point is 01:22:42 You throw on a bikini and then your Shinobi transformation clothes, which is usually some heightened version of the outfit you started in. It's like you can pick a different outfit. Right. But for the most part, the default Shinobi Transform is not that. It's like they put a sweater, huh? Yeah. It's like not that different. Right.
Starting point is 01:23:05 There is one girl who reads a little butch. Uh-huh. And her Shinobi Transform is that her shirt is unbuttoned and barely hanging onto, again, her enormous breasts. Yeah. Yeah. The shirt fighting for its damn life. Yeah. So your combat involves.
Starting point is 01:23:26 You know, you... A button really hates to see her coming. You power up your character. You Shinobi transform. You get your little Sailor Moon sequence. And then you have special moves and additional combos. However, additional to that, the way damage registers on both you and your opponent. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:43 Yeah, I forgot about this for a second. Is that your clothes tear. Yes. And you usually fall like to the ground in like a compromising position before getting back up to fight some more. your big goal in a in a match against a human opponent because you also fight like wooden soldiers street thugs like a bunch like you you you fight girls on the street and you punch their clothes off yeah but your goal like your conceptual goal is to punch all of their clothes off yes I'm going to punch their clothes
Starting point is 01:24:21 off. Their clothes off. They're coming off. The clothes are coming off. Off. Clothes off. Nick Cage.
Starting point is 01:24:41 Look, something about when Nick's not here, we have all these really good movie ideas. So, your goal is you fight these bosses, you're knocking all their clothes off, and then you hopefully finish them with a special move that shreds their last amount of clothes and they fall to the ground in a compromised position fully naked. Yes. Humiliated. Humiliated. The greatest defeat of all. Then you cut to a visual novel where you get like pages and pages and pages of text talking about the girl's
Starting point is 01:25:21 day at school. Then you're back in your fucking ninja room again where you have options like go to the store. Yes. Go to the library. Go to the dressing room. What's at the store? Here we go.
Starting point is 01:25:35 There is both paid DLC. Yeah. Which will give you a ton more outfits. Yeah. And then there's also the in-game currency, which you earn by doing well in the combat rounds, which lets you unlock more outfits. And you get a lot of this money.
Starting point is 01:25:50 I feel like. You get. So much much. Again, usually these fucking games, it's like, oh, if you're going to get the white bikini, it's going to cost you like 10 hundred rounds of fighting. Yeah. And you're going to have to save every cent. Instead, I went into the fucking store and I was like, oh, I'll unlock all of the videos. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:10 And I did. And I was like, wow, that's done. Yeah. I unlocked all the videos. I don't need the cat ears. They basically have cat ears. I bought the ramen hat. The ramen hat's good.
Starting point is 01:26:22 Because it said something like, it's like, it was called like sexual, like, ramen. Like, there's not an item description. It just says what it's called. And there's not an image attached to it. Out of curiosity, I was like, I have to see what this is. And to my delight, big ramen bowl, really funny. Good stuff. Not at all what I thought it was going to be.
Starting point is 01:26:47 Yeah, there's no, in the PlayStation store, or the, I assume, Steam store, and the DLC, the paid DLC, you will get, like, images of the outfits. But in the in-game store, it'll just say, summer suit spectacular. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:02 And you'll be like, I don't know what that is. I'm just going to have to take your word on that. You click it. You go to the dressing room. You shuffle through a million fucking outfits you already have. Because your thing, you don't know where it is right away.
Starting point is 01:27:11 You don't know, know where it is. And then you get to it and you put it on, and it's like, okay, great. It's a blue bathing suit with little sailboats on the tities. Yeah. This game is funny. It's like incidentally funny. It's earnest.
Starting point is 01:27:28 Yep. It's not funny on purpose. No. They made this game to be like this. Yeah. And that is funny to me. I was so worried when we were doing the mental calculus of this episode without Nick. That what we were locking ourselves into was going to be a terrible fucking time.
Starting point is 01:27:46 Yes. And then I would be texting you. I hate this game. And instead, I was like. this is mostly harmless. Yeah. There is some
Starting point is 01:27:56 look, you could get gross with this if you wanted to. You could, you could, this game has bad vibes if you go looking for it. For sure.
Starting point is 01:28:07 If you, like, in the PlayStation version, yeah. There was something patched out of it. Oh, there was. In the, in the changing room area. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:28:19 there's a there's a there's a section called intimacy okay that was patched out it's in the it's in the PC version still not on the steam version no it's well it's in the steam version okay what is intimacy
Starting point is 01:28:35 oh you just pick one of the characters and you can you get two little hands you can just do whatever you just engage with the jiggle fig jizzle fix basically yeah yeah you can just engage with the jiggle physicists is a very eloquent way to say that, actually. Yes, you can engage with them.
Starting point is 01:28:54 And then you get a heart meter, and the more you engage with it, the heart fills up. Oh, they like it. They like it. Oh, okay. Well, that could be worse. You can slap a little bit. And then that's when they're like, don't do that.
Starting point is 01:29:08 It doesn't hurt your heart score. Let me tell you there is an item of interactivity in the PlayStation version because you can start, you can start any round. with like a risky move where you hold down left and and write one as the start as the game's going to begin and that automatically tears off all of your clothes. Yes, I can't remember what this is called.
Starting point is 01:29:33 It's called like risky business or some shit. I don't know what it's called. In the PlayStation version, you do that and you get an image of the girl in her outfit and then you have to take your thumbs, put them on the touchpad, and shred the clothes off. Wow. I can't double dip on this.
Starting point is 01:29:51 Yeah, you can't. This is also a hell of a game to explain to my wife. You don't need to explain this to your wife? I was explaining, she's like, what do you do? I was like, I'm playing this game for the show. What's the show? I was like, or what's the game?
Starting point is 01:30:04 I was like, okay, it's this game that Nick really likes. Yep, Nick loves this game and he wants us to play it. What did she say? You would be playing something like that. Oh, man. Dragged by my wife. I did not play this in front of my wife
Starting point is 01:30:16 or my parents who were staying with me, though I was terrified that they would walk in to my office and see something like this scene where all the girls are eating sushi and one of them is just sucking it like a dick just not how you should eat it
Starting point is 01:30:37 she's just in the corner ranch I don't know if you can see this she's in the corner Yeah show ranch Oh is that going to give me trouble? She's just in the corner sucking sushi like like a dick. Nick's favorite game.
Starting point is 01:30:51 It's his favorite. Insane. I'm sorry if I just got, I just stepped over some social barrier. No, it's okay. This game? I didn't pick this game. No, Nick did. Nick.
Starting point is 01:31:05 And that's true. We're not just saying that. We're not just saying that. We're not punishing him for being away by playing a good but horny game. I will say it's not good. It's not good. It's not, don't go buy this game.
Starting point is 01:31:20 No, I would, it's not recommendable. No. Right? Like, it's not like, it's like, it's not Dragon Quest 7 reimagined. But it's also not shitty. No. And it's not shitty enough that there's a franchise. I would say that like, if it was like 10 bucks, you could do a lot worse.
Starting point is 01:31:35 For sure, you could. You do a lot worse for 10 bucks. And if you got it for $2.99, I'd be like, what an hour of play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know that I'll get back to it. I don't know that I'm ever going to beat this game. Like, it does. It is.
Starting point is 01:31:47 progressing in difficulty in a way that is like, like, scratching an itch in my brain where I'm like, huh. Because also it's extremely fast. It is so fast, except they don't run fast enough. They don't run fast enough, but I feel like when you're punching and in fighting, you're in the air, sometimes I'm like, wait, where the fuck am I? Right, right. It's, it's very fast combat. The problem, the only problem I found in the combat was, where am I in the visual chaos? How does the lock on work which I kept forgetting. Yes. And then when you would knock back
Starting point is 01:32:24 an enemy like pretty far across the play area, the play areas are like, oh, you're in like a I don't know, you're in a dojo or you're in like a woodsy clearing or you're in like a back street in Tokyo. Or like
Starting point is 01:32:40 the school yard. Yeah, school yard. The field. Yeah, you'll knock back a character and run to that character is so slow. Yes. And it's a real bummer because that's, that should have a teleport dash.
Starting point is 01:32:56 And maybe you unlock them. Yeah. Because you do unlock moves without a skill tree. You just unlock moves as you go. Um, and then eventually I think you can also choose to play as the evil, evil girls. Yes. And unlock a different story.
Starting point is 01:33:11 That's what the burst edition is. Because I think it, the first version of it was, skirting whatever and then burst was the same game but with the addition of the evil Shinobi story
Starting point is 01:33:27 I think it's a fun time I you can certainly get it for the DS for the 3DS very easily if that's something you're looking for and you're want to do
Starting point is 01:33:38 I was surprised because I know that I'm not friends with Nick on PlayStation you're not no he refuses to befriend me on the PlayStation He keeps a low profile
Starting point is 01:33:51 Low profile He's very private man I just got the letterbox follow Wow That's great I follow him on letterbox Do I follow you on letterbox? I don't think I do
Starting point is 01:34:00 I don't know I gotta follow you But Will you follow me back please? Of course I will Thank God I think I already follow you I must follow
Starting point is 01:34:07 Are you active on that way Medium I gotta get in there But here's the thing I'm a fucking clean house I'll tell you that I'm not friends with Nick, I download
Starting point is 01:34:17 Senron Cagora and two friends play. You're going to have to tell me who after. Do I know one of them? I don't know who they are because I didn't click through. Would have assumed one of them was iffy. But most of the games we play on this show where we're playing some weird game
Starting point is 01:34:33 or a horny game. Yeah. No friends in common. No. Like, for example, Bubzy, no friends play this game. Yeah. Comes up right immediately.
Starting point is 01:34:43 No friends, no enemies. No, nobody plays this game. But then around, I download this game I'd never heard of. Yeah. And sure enough, I got two people on my friends list who were already playing this game. Interesting. Not, I mean, probably not recently. But it's, that to me demonstrates that there's a, like, if it was just horny, I don't think people would play it.
Starting point is 01:35:02 There's enough game here that you're like, yeah. Huh. If it was just horny, it wouldn't be, there's just like, I don't know. I don't understand that kind of. Right. Because I'm just like, why I just go jack off to some? something regular. What the hell's
Starting point is 01:35:18 matter of you? Yeah, you can see any of this for free. You need to buy a video game to fucking Jack? What are you doing, man? Are you 11? That also doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:35:34 Because if you're 11, you don't have money. You might have your parents credit card. Maybe. I don't know. That's not true. If I had my parents credit card when I was 11, I wouldn't spend
Starting point is 01:35:43 by pornography with it. Wouldn't be sitting here today. living, I'll tell you that. But yeah, so there's enough game that people, I think, play the game. Yeah. And enough play the game that it got a franchise. I'm stunned.
Starting point is 01:36:01 And I will say, it looks pretty good and it runs really well on the Steam deck. Yeah, what the fuck is happening? It looks really good. I was kind of shocked. I mean, beyond the obvious, but like the character models are all really good. And just the way the...
Starting point is 01:36:19 The transformations look pretty? The transformations are great. By the way, seeing that in 3D on the 3DS, shocking. Because not all of it is, you know, it was like Switch, but like those cutscenes, those are in 3D. And you do sort of feel like you should be in trouble. Yeah. But yeah, no, I thought like fun, just like a fun, fun little game. looks great.
Starting point is 01:36:47 I don't know that I'd investigate a new title. No. I was talking about it like, this one's fucking good. But, but if, yeah, if that happened,
Starting point is 01:36:58 if somebody was like, hey, have you played this horny game? Yeah. It's called Senran Kagara, the third chapter or something. Yeah. And I'd be like,
Starting point is 01:37:10 no, but it wouldn't shock me if a great Senran game came out. Yes. like I'd be like that tracks I also don't need anybody coming up to me asking me if I've played any other of these I don't need to talk about it
Starting point is 01:37:22 It's not gonna happen no But but it's it's right on the line It certainly feels like I mean also it's a 2011 game or 2012 right Could it save the switch too? Could it save the switch too It's a 2012 game and definitely Feels like a 2012 game Like it's got that it's got like kind of a retro
Starting point is 01:37:40 Throwbacky 14 years ago vibe to it It reminds me of say No More Heroes on the Wii It has like this like Very simplistic 3D world that you're running through
Starting point is 01:37:54 Yeah But there's just enough crunch For it to be It doesn't put you off No Which is so fucking weird Yeah because it is like
Starting point is 01:38:09 You almost stop noticing it Right Yeah we're kind of like That's definitely like part of it But you get so locked into, like, the combat and the story a little bit. We're kind of like, that's third on the list. Yeah. And even then, you're kind of like, I don't care.
Starting point is 01:38:25 Did you get to the story of the girl with the long sword? Yes. Pretty good story. Cool character. Cool character. Girl with a long sword. My favorite combat so far. Yeah, everybody's...
Starting point is 01:38:34 I like the Boots girl, though, too. Boots girl is good. Boots girl is good. I fucking hate the dumb one who's always crying. Her combat style sucks. She's the one with the plush? Yeah, she's got plush and she, She fights like the way that like a school girl fights.
Starting point is 01:38:50 Yeah, I don't mean any of that. There's like slapping motion. Big sword or big for some reason robot boots. Yeah. I'm in. Those two good combat. Main girl, good combat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:00 And I understand if I say big in relation to any part of this game could be boobies or butts. Talking about anything. But. Swords and boots is what I'm talking about. You get, you get Big Swords backstory. And they're doing like a, you see it in a video. visual novel and they're doing a family tree like genealogy thing and she specifically doesn't mention her brother on her family tree and then this degenerate shows up at the school with her
Starting point is 01:39:31 sword and you discover that she's an adopted child and that her ninja family bequeathed her sword but her burnout deadbeat brother wanted to claim it and so there's like a showdown between the two of them. And as I'm reading it, I'm like, this is a good episode of a fucking anime, man. It's good stuff. It works. It's kind of funny that they like hid this good stuff.
Starting point is 01:39:58 And this kind of just like horny game. Yeah. Other things I would like to call out from my notes. The high school girls are told to keep their ninja scrolls on their person. So one says, I keep it under my skirt. And the other says, I keep it in my cleavage.
Starting point is 01:40:17 Okay. I wrote, this game is not playing around. It's providing exactly what Nick said he would love. Okay. Stunned when, I think it's boots, says to a group of girls in text or like across the screen, you're all a bunch of pussies. Yeah, no, that really made me laugh.
Starting point is 01:40:41 That was so funny to me. I was like, what? I don't think I've ever read this word in a game before. That was about when I sort of locked in and was like, I think this game is good, actually. There is, when you're fighting enemy Shinobi, they are also very well endowed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:00 Big all the- Yeah, it's not just the main characters, it's everybody. Every girl got a big titty. It's in this planet where everybody's like that. That being said, main villain girl calls your MC, Jugs. It's just funny.
Starting point is 01:41:16 It's like, you know, like that's like, I better call it out before somebody else calls me out. You know what I mean? And the main character says, please stop calling me jokes. That's so funny because they're also just like not markedly bigger. They're the same size as the enemy Shinobi. That's really funny. Can you imagine meeting somebody and calling them jugs? It's like me going up to another loud person and being like, what's up, loud?
Starting point is 01:41:41 What, you're loud? What are you talking about? Um, those are some of my notes from, from early on in the game. And then I got too locked in and kept playing. Yeah, it was, it was weirdly fun. Do you fight, you fight the German girl? Oh yeah. What the fuck? I don't know. She, she gets, girls shows up and she's got like, essentially a cloud style Zvihander sword. Yeah. And her, her transformation is into like, like, sound of music clothes. Every Every comedic decision they make
Starting point is 01:42:18 Works Works It's an alarming hit rate actually I wonder if These guys Put this game out Certainly a team of only men Yeah for sure
Starting point is 01:42:30 Put this game out and we're like Huh we did we did our best We kind of snapped on this one Surprised at the like The reciprocity of like how many people enjoyed this game? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:43 Like, did they know when they were putting out this game, we might have a franchise on our hands? Or were they just like, hey, this turned out pretty good for what it is? I mean, it had to have first been like, I don't care what we make. They got to be huge. They got to be huge, you understand. I also like to ground pound. Okay, yeah, ground pound.
Starting point is 01:43:06 Because these girls for so reason, as slight as they may be, can shift. the earth with a punch. When they fly from aerial combat on the ground, they create a crater in the earth. It's very funny to me. And all of the, typically, I would say more often than not you're fighting other girls. Yes. And you'll fight like a crowd of girls at the same time. You'll just have a screen full of girls flying all over the place.
Starting point is 01:43:35 Extremely funny. And you don't know what's happening. It's unfortunately good stuff. It's, it's, it's, uh, Nick. You son of a bitch, you did it. You son of a bitch you did it. Thank you so much for recommending to us. Senran Kagura burst re-new.
Starting point is 01:43:55 Available on all systems. Not on Switch. They have some Sanran Kagura games on Switch, but they have games in other genres. Yeah. That aren't like this. Yeah. Like this run one that's on mobile. or whatever.
Starting point is 01:44:11 Yeah. I got to put it on Switch too. I wonder if the running is just jiggles. I think it has to be one of those auto runner, like Temple Run or some shit, right? But I bet you there's, they'd be insane to, this is the version that doesn't have that.
Starting point is 01:44:27 We didn't put it in this one for some reason. I mean, it is Nintendo. Yeah. Should we do a segment? Let's do a segment. I got a segment for us today. I'm going to see if Heather can rightly guess. What?
Starting point is 01:44:45 If Ranch knows who. who any of these video game characters are. It's time for Dude Ranch. Dude Ranch. Welcome on down to the dude ranch. No, keep going. I can't find the note. Okay. Okay, I found it.
Starting point is 01:44:59 Wait, never. Where the dudes and the ranch is a ranch. Ranch, let me just ask you generally speaking. When we're talking about video game characters, how often, like, outside of the segment, percentage-wise, how often would you say you've heard of what we're talking about? I would say I retain at least 50%. Hey, that's not bad. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 01:45:22 That's pretty good. So then maybe, who knows, this one might be easy for you then. Ranch knows more than I know about our own show. That's probably true. Once I say the words, they're gone. Yeah. So here we go. I'm going to just name some characters.
Starting point is 01:45:39 I'm going to go to Heather first. And then you'll tell me if you think Ranch knows whose it is, and then we'll get an answer from Ranch. Okay. It's Dude Ranch. Let's do it, Ranch. Here we go. Heather, do you think Ranch knows who M. Bison is? M. Bison.
Starting point is 01:45:54 Does Ranch know who M. Bison is? I'm going to say no. You're going to say no. I guess. I should guess, too. I should guess also. Yeah. I'm going to say yes.
Starting point is 01:46:10 Okay. Just to keep it interesting. Okay. Ranch, tell me who M. Bison is. Mr. Vison from Sonic the Hodge, on. By your own math. You have to get half of these right. We need a t-shirt.
Starting point is 01:46:39 Mr. Bison. Mr. Bison from sign the head talk. With an illegal photo of M. Bison. Absolutely. So Heather gets the point. That was not who that was. That's not who that was. He's from street fighter.
Starting point is 01:46:57 He's an antagonist from street fighter. He looks like a fascist. Yeah. He's a fascist. He's a fascist played by Raul Julia. In the movie. Played by David Dasdalsmastian. I can never get his name right.
Starting point is 01:47:11 But I think he's an incredible actor. He's going to be really good in the new movie. Great. Heather. Yeah. Do you think Ranch knows Nico Bellick? No, absolutely not. I think just to keep it interesting, I have to guess, yes.
Starting point is 01:47:25 Part of me thinks... There's no fucking way. He kind of became a meme kind of, no? Yeah, but I don't think she knows who Nico Bellic is. Ranch, tell me, who is Nico Bellic? Nico Bellic. Have you heard the name before? No.
Starting point is 01:47:46 There's still a chance you could guess right. All right, sure, yes. Nico Bellic is one of the bad guys in Final Fantasy. No. Couldn't be wronger if you tried. Nico Bellick is the protagonist of Grand Theft Auto 4 He's still a bad guy though He's still bad
Starting point is 01:48:08 A little bit of points Kind of right Yeah kind of right But as far as bad guys go We're kind of fucking with Nico Nico's pretty cool Heco's pretty good Good track suit
Starting point is 01:48:18 Everybody calls him Nico Bellick Full name for his last name Heather Yeah Do you think Ranch knows who Roxas is No there's no
Starting point is 01:48:30 I barely know who Roxas is I have to say yes why you can also say no I have to say yes all right Ranch who's Roxas Roxas is the other version of Sora in Kingdom Hearts Go
Starting point is 01:48:47 I kind of thought Ranch might know right because she's seen a lot of Kingdom Hearts at home Ah fuck It's still good job And I'm gonna tell Mark That you earned dinner tonight. Wow. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:49:05 And that's the most perfect answer you could give. The other version. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Do you think Ranch knows? Etzio Aritore? No. Because I don't know who that is.
Starting point is 01:49:23 No. I think I know who that is. Ranch does not know who that is. Ranch? Tell me all about Etsio. Mario and Luigi's estranged brother. It is not
Starting point is 01:49:37 Mario and Luigi's a strange brother. It's me. Mario, it's me, Etsio. Mario, Luigi, Etsio. Kind of not crazy. We need that on the front of the shirt and then the back,
Starting point is 01:49:52 Mr. Bison. Mr. Bison. But the front of the shirt, it has all three of them and it just says three brothers. And they're like holding hands. Etzio is the character from Assassin's Creed. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Starting point is 01:50:13 I was like, I don't know if that's how you say his last name, but Auditori? Sure. Auditor? Auditor. Do you think, I don't know. Do you think Ranch knows who Navi is? Here's the thing. I think she is going to answer 10.
Starting point is 01:50:29 Technically correct. I think it's possible. Yeah. So you're going to say yes. I'm going to say yes. Okay. I'm going to take the no on this one. Okay.
Starting point is 01:50:39 Ranch. Who is Navi? Navi is a character from Avatar. It's not what I'm asking. Right, but that's what I meant by technically. It's technically correct. It's not a character from. It's what the race of aliens are.
Starting point is 01:50:56 But I was like, that is technically a game also. A game, technically correct? Kind of. I'm talking about, of course, the guiding fairy from Legend of Zelda Occurine of Time. Yeah, yeah. But you were right. Navi are the avatar guys, the blue guys. Did I put this in as a trap?
Starting point is 01:51:16 Absolutely. To whose benefit? Who could say? I don't know. And finally. Why do we do the show at all? Why do we do any of this? It's all a trap.
Starting point is 01:51:25 It's a trick. Do you think Ranch knows who Blinky is? No. I don't know. Who is Blinky? You know Blinky. I don't know who Blinky is. I'm just going to tell you right now, you know Blinky. I don't know who Blinky is.
Starting point is 01:51:39 So I don't think Ranch knows who Blinky is. You for sure know who Blinky is? I was going to put you at ease. You know Blinky? Okay, sure, maybe now I know who it is. What do you think? I don't think Ranch knows Blinky. I'm going to say yes.
Starting point is 01:51:56 Does it keep it interesting? Either way, you're the winner of this game. Ranch. I think we all won. Who's Blinky? Actually, I think Ranch won for not knowing these things. Ranch No for sure. Ranch one for sure.
Starting point is 01:52:05 But who's Blinky? Blinky is a duck and animal crossing New Horizons. That's a really good answer. For wrong guesses, that's really good guess. It's a really good answer. It's the Red Ghost from Pac-Man. Oh, then I didn't know who it was. What did you think it was?
Starting point is 01:52:25 I thought it was the clown from Twisted Metal. No, that's Sweet Tooth. Oh, okay. He's got his own thing. Yeah. I was like, Blinky is the red ghost from Pac-Man. Yeah, that's fine.
Starting point is 01:52:35 Of course, the colors are moot when you get the big dot and then they all turn dark blue. Yeah. But it's blinky, inky. Clyde and Sue? It's Clyde, and then there's another one. I can't remember what the other one is.
Starting point is 01:52:51 I think it's also an inky. Clyde is the turn. Yeah. I was picked Clyde. This was a really educated. educational game of Dude Ranch. It's good information
Starting point is 01:53:04 I think for us as hosts because we need to be doing a better job in educating Ranch. I think what implies to me is that we talk about Avatar just enough. That's, and yeah. So we could be talking about
Starting point is 01:53:15 the other things as much as that Ranch's knowledge would expand. But right now we've sort of been in an avatar sort of sort of hole. Let's try this. Ranch, did you see the third Avatar movie?
Starting point is 01:53:26 No. Do you know who Varang is? Yes. That and see, yes. Ferong is the name of our group chat for some reason. No, we did change the name of our group chat to Varong. I wake up to pictures of Varang every day from that group chat. Sometimes several.
Starting point is 01:53:47 That's this week's Get Played. Our show is produced and engineered by Rochelle Chan Ranch, Yard underscore underscore Sard. How's Silent Hill F going, Ranch? It's still going? It's still going. Right? Do you think, where do you think you're at percentage-wise with that game? You think you're almost done with it or are you still got a lot of game left if you had to,
Starting point is 01:54:08 if you had to guess? I think I still got a lot of game left. Okay. Is what's stopping you an inconsistent streaming schedule or is it like hard and scary? Very inconsistent streaming schedule, also constantly getting lost and beaten down over and over again. Okay. I've been interested in trying the game out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:30 It seems cool. It's beautiful. It's beautiful, you say. Not my Silent Hill. Legs on top, legs on bottom. That's right. All legs, all the time. Our show's music is by Ben Prunty,
Starting point is 01:54:41 Ben Pruntymusic.com, and our show's art is by Duck Brigade, duck brigade design.com. You can check out our merch, hats, sweatshirts, regular shirts, and more at kinshipgoods.com. And check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash get played for ad-free main feed episodes,
Starting point is 01:54:55 our complete back catalog, including old episodes of how did this get play, and new episodes with our premium DLC and the new Get Played DLC show where we've done all sorts of things so far. We did a super-sized question block last week. We did a movie review of Avatar Fire and Ash. We did a brand new, how did this get played episode,
Starting point is 01:55:17 which is the truth is we kind of sort of Shadow did that today. We sort of Shadow did that today, except it was like, how does this get played? In the most fun way it was actually good. We got some fun stuff coming up. This week we're talking about, about a Final Fantasy 7 anime that we watch. So we're sort of dipping back into the Get Animated World
Starting point is 01:55:36 a little bit with that. I wish I had the name of it in front of me currently. It's called like... Reunion? No, it's called like the... It's not the first soldier. Crisis Corps soldier. Last.
Starting point is 01:55:49 Last soldier? Final Fantasy. Last battalion. First reunion. Final fantasy. I'm typing this in. fantasy. If he's Sephora Roth, I don't want to be right.
Starting point is 01:56:02 That's pretty good. Final Fantasy. We're doing a little bit of everything on the DLC. It's called the Last Order Col and Final Fantasy 7. Last Order. And it's an anime and we watched it. We watched along with it. So you can find it on YouTube. Watch it there.
Starting point is 01:56:16 Yep. And that'll be it for this week's get played. And this week... The truth is, I think this game got played. Nick got played by missing out. By missing out. Nick got played. And you know what? we could title this episode?
Starting point is 01:56:30 What's that? How did Nick get played? Honestly, we got it. That's it. You heard it here first. Goodbye. That was a head gum podcast. Hi, I'm Drew Offalo.
Starting point is 01:56:44 And I'm Jason Offoallo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to two idiot girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.

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