Get Played - Nintendo Switch Sports Resort & Wii Sports

Episode Date: October 26, 2026

Heather, Nick and Matt discuss all things Wii Sports and the new Nintendo Switch Sports Resort.Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayedFollow us on social media @getplayedpodMusic by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.comArt by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? and our Premium DLC episodes and our exclusive show Get Anime'd where we're currently watching Serial Experiments Lain go to patreon.com/getplayedJoin us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayedWanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] on Get Played via Gumball.fmAll of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum podcast. Gaming today isn't one thing. It moves between cozy, chaotic, and everything in between. One minute you're exploring something slow and immersive. The next, you're in a fast-paced match. And somewhere in there, you might be creating, streaming, or just seeing where the session goes. That's why Alienware systems are built with the performance to handle all of it. With Nvidia-Gforce RTX, it delivers powerful graphics that bring every world

to life while optimizing battery life. So whether you're playing, creating, or jumping between both, everything runs the way it should. No interruptions, no slowing down. You don't have to adjust how you play. You just keep gaming your way. However that looks in the moment. Be more alien at alienware.com slash game your way. It's so exciting that there's a new like sports game in the family of the Wii sports universe.

Yeah, this is exciting stuff. I mean, it's all the stuff that we know and love already. I love it. You're bowling and stuff. But they added some new game. Yeah, I've got it pulled up right here. We've got tennis. We've got, oh, like a little flight game.

That's fun. That's going to be fun. You got basketball. You've got bowling. You've got Jorp. You've got... Wait, what is Jorpe? Hang on.

Yeah, Jorpe. Jorpe sort of hit my ears wrong, too. I'm not familiar with Jorpe. You know, I mean, we gave it a try. You got table tennis? Yeah, but Jorpe. I kind of... I know.

what table tennis is. Uh-huh. I kind of want to know what Jorpe is. Jorpe seems interesting. Should we load it up? Name alone, I'm kind of like, Jorpe? All right.

I got to know what's going on with that. All right, let's load it up. Wow, there's a lot of instructions for this. Oh, okay, yeah, okay. So hold the JoyConn in my hand. Got it, that makes sense so far. JoyCon, it's a, it's a 13-player game. Okay, that's tough because it's an uneven team.

That doesn't make any sense, really. That's a tough. I guess we can just, we can just populate our, are, no, it's, I'm sorry, it's, it's, okay, so it's two teams of six players each and then a single team of one person. Yeah, and it's sort of one versus two teams. Huh, that's interesting. What do you think this is? This is, okay, hold the joycon above your head. Okay, yeah, yeah, kind of like this. Now shit your pants. I don't want to do that. I don't think we have to. I, they won't know that We haven't.

It's, well, I'm trying to press the button to just continue and it won't let me do it. What's up guys? Hey, sorry. Hey, Matt. Hey, ranch. So, sorry, I'm late. Hey, Nick, what's up? Oh, y'all playing Jorp?

Oh, hell yeah. Fucking love Jorpe. You like Jor? Can I get in? At me in. Hell yeah. Yeah, I mean. Talk to those joycons.

Here you go, buddy. Oh, hell yeah. Here we go. We haven't, we haven't gotten through. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. That's a glerble. That's a fucking glerble?

He knows the words for the game. Fucking started playing. It would still allow me activate unless I shit my pants. I don't feel like I have to go. I don't want to do it, but I don't want Nick to win. I don't want Nick to win either. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, I started. I don't want to shoot my pants. That's a corbo. No, let me see if I could just use one of your guys' shits. It won't let me. I just touched it for no reason. This sucks. Yeah, it was really invasive.

What did you just... Reaching my pants and grabbed it. I didn't want to shit myself. And that's less disgusting? What you just did? I didn't want to do mine. I took my butt cheeks and grab loose feces. Absolutely.

Agree with Nick here. What you did is so much worse was your plan to put his poop in your pants? It's fucking insane. That's crazy. I just wanted a gorble or whatever. You can't get a gorble with somebody else's shorts shit. Yeah, you want a gorble. You got to do this.

Fuck, he's doing it, and I'm gonna go. I didn't know the rules. The game is new. It's Jorpe. It's Jorpe. It's not that complicated. You hold the controller over your head and you shit your pants. That's why I'm at the top of the global leaderboards.

Are you okay? We play table tennis and ride skateboards. as we discussed Switch Sports Resort and the Wii Sports franchise this week on Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Tiger Weiger. That's me, Nick Tiger Weiger, along with our third host, Mr. Games, Matt Upadaka. Hello, everyone.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premiere video game podcast where, Bada-doo-do-do-do-do-do. That's really good. Yeah, that was really good. It's time for us to talk about the history of sports on Nintendo, but more specifically, We Sports, We Sports Resort, and Switch Sports Island, or whatever the fuck it's called. I have all of them here. Yeah, I have the whole. We Sports.

Island. We Sports. We Sports Resort. We Sports Club. Don't remember that one at all. That was the Wii U exclusive. And that one is marked as sales undisclosed. Nintendo Switch Sports and the Nintendo Switch Sports Resort,

which came out today as of this recording, this past Thursday, as of Monday, if you are listening in North America. You know what else today is? I guess it's cool anime sweatshirts day. We're all kind of wearing one. By sheer coincidence, we're all wearing anime sweatshirts. I am wearing Aska from Evangelion,

and this is a sweatshirt I got in Japan. And this is a sweatshirt I got in Japan with the Evo I on it from the same store, from the same shopping. Experience. Excursion. And then I'm wearing a strict G char sweatshirt that I used NordVPN to purchase. Wow. That's sick as hell. I think we all look great.

So I think actually it was my use of the importing mechanic via our frequently advertised partner. Yeah. That made it so that Gundam stopped allowing. proxy on Nord I think they were like Just the sheer volume That was coming to you

Somebody is like Fucking sending $500 of Gundam shit To America all the time But yeah I'm wearing my boy Wow Sure

Ranch you wear anime shirt Ranch You got an anime shirt on Ranch you got an anime shirt on Ranch you got an anime shirt on She's kind of got She's kind of got

Follow me here Advent Children Cloud Zip up A sweater. Is that what you're doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ranch's back was out of town for this past week's records, but very happy to have you back in the studio. It's never the same without you.

We miss Ranch. We always miss Ranch. Did you have an excellent time on your trip? Did you eat anything delicious? Great question. I, so good every day. Ooh. You were up in San Jose, right?

I was up in San Jose. Every day, my parents basically scheduled everything for me to eat. Wow. Which was amazing. I got there. We got sushi. The next day, had hot pot. Third day for my mom's birthday, we got Prime Rib.

Jesus Christ. The next night for dinner, we did hot pot again at a different place. And then our classic Mexican restaurant. Oh, no. And then last day we got Pawsack. Wow. bullshit right here. Explains why your ankles are swollen.

You're like a fucking king. That's some good eat for sure. When you get prime rib, are you asking for a particular cut? I like to get the English cut, which is like they slice it very thinly. Oh, that is fun. What's your temp? Medium rare. Is there a prime rib?

I mean, there must be a local prime rib institution in San Jose. We went up to San Mateo. San Mateo, okay. next to a cafe I used to work at Oh, wow. The manager stole my tips. New ranch lore. Manager stole ranch is.

I'm going to find out who this is. I'm going to punish this person. I'm going to piss in their shoes. Yeah, I have a piss note. It's like a death note. Just going to make them piss. Oh, man. What the fuck?

What the hell? I want a bus. What is your, wait, wait, so when you say, stole your, your tips, specifically yours or were they stealing everyone's tips? Yeah, that sucks. That's the fucking worst. That's the type of thing that John Taffer would shut down. Yeah, I know. I feel like

that kind of crime, there's a level of crime that hurts individual people that I think elevates the crime to murder level. I agree. That should be a capital offense. Like, if you steal a fucking purse from the prodig store, who gives a shit? Nobody fucking cares.

Yeah. But if you like intentionally run over somebody in your car, that is akin to, I am going to steal all of the tips of everybody who works under me. Absolutely. Yes, yeah. Especially if it happens to ranch. It is an intention of cruelty. Yeah.

You got to steal up, not down. Yeah, you never steal down. If ranch was embezzling from our Patreon, that's all well and good. But we're not going to steal for ranch as income. No, no, no, no. Yeah, it'd be insane. Yeah. Come on now.

Wait a minute. Hold on a second. You think we're above ranch? What fuck are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. I mean, in the hierarchy of podcasting, I feel like the, you know, the hosts are kind of whatever. That's true. Not more visible.

Or in any other. Yeah, yeah, I am the first rung of whatever ladder she's in the top of. I'm glad you got to eat good because that's kind of the big, that's kind of the joy of going somewhere else, I think, is having some good meal. Although L.A. has good food. LA is a fantastic food city. It has fantastic food and a great variety of it too. No, it's, of course, a top five food city in North America. It's, I just like going somewhere else.

They got different stuff. They got different stuff there. What kind of stuff? Any kind. Guys, can I confess something? Please. I don't like prime rib. I don't get it.

That's fine. It feels too flesh for me. It is very flesh. It's really like. It's like a long draper. flesh. You can tell you used to you're eating, you know, what used to be like a living mammal.

How I told you, my grandpa is a hunter. Oh. And it baffles me. Because he's also like an older, like, macho guy. Uh-huh. He needs his steaks and stuff well done, and it makes me so fucking mad. That is wild.

He's like, Matthew, I want it dead. He calls me Matthew. Is there, like, I wonder if that, part of that could be generational, but it is part of that, and I don't know as someone who doesn't hunt, like, do you have to be a little bit more cautious with like wild game? I don't know. Because he's he's surreptitiously fed me deer. I think it is generational. I think that our boomer parents or our boomer grandparents, whoever, wherever the generation is, were taught that meat could be deadly. Yeah. And because like my father, who's an older man,

also does a medium well to a well for his meat. And he wants there to be very little like a pink tone. Yeah. But no rareness to it. And it comes from a place of disease, not a flavor. Yeah. Yeah. There's also, I think, like a regional element to that because I feel like I've

felt like I've encountered with Australians, them wanting meat to be pretty, to like be thoroughly cooked. Yeah. I don't know if there was like, I just don't know the history of there was a mad cow outbreak in Australia or something. Oh, yes, mad cow. I don't think that helps. Honestly, I think Priyons survive cooking. I don't fucking know. The, in, in Italy, I got the, the, the Florentine, they have, in Florence, they have a thing called the Florentine steak.

Yep. Really thick cut of meat. Yeah, you're like a. Very, very rare. I'm trying to convey how the size they, the, I mean, this is basically the, like the, like the, the, the width of a PS5. Yeah, this is like a Fred Flintstone cut of me. It's not probably this big, but it was thick and essentially

uncooked. Uncooked, seared on both sides. And the Italian servers, I got it two times. I got it like basically two days in a row at two different places. I wanted to see what the, you know, what the fuss was about. Both places were like, are you sure you want it like this? Because I guess a lot of Americans get it and send it back.

Yeah, sure. And it's like, you know, it's kind of an expensive. meal. But I was like, no, I wanted the way you guys do it. And I got it. And I mean, I ate the whole thing. Right. You know, my heart was bursting through my chest in the night.

I've seen you eat a bad steak in Japan. I know you'll house anything. I think steak is my favorite food regardless of whether or not it's good. We ate such great food in Japan. And it's insane how terrible those steaks were. It was really crazy. Because we even, I mean, not to even relegate the trip. We're talking about it.

We had Mexican food that was. was not quite right. And it was still better than those steaks. Yeah. That Mexican food, their approximation of Mexican food, having had it described to them over the phone, was still fucking good. Like, it was really tasty. Yeah.

Strange. A little bit of like cinnamon in the tortilla chip. Yeah. Everything was just like a little off, you know? But I mean, it was like interesting. It was like inadvertently fusion cuisine. Yeah. And here's the thing?

We had a really good time there. We had a blast. I had a fucking blast. Are you kidding me? Great time. Great time. We have some, you know, wait, I want to talk about cereal real quick before we get, before we get the game. Serial.

Because you were talking cereal before you again. I don't think, like you were saying, that she was in love with Aunt Sanad. Jesus Christ. He's back in prison, isn't he? I have no idea. I don't know either. I don't track that stuff. Yeah.

No, we were talking about breakfast cereal. Breakfast cereal, of course. Not the storied narrative podcast. I mean, it's good stuff. But I was saying, let's everybody, I mean, we for sure have talked about our favorite cereals. A favorite of mine is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I'm a big cinnamon toast crunch guy.

I used to love the Rice Krispie Treat cereal that was like clusters of Rice Krispies. I'm familiar. That one's too much for me. I love, I mean, I was, give me a break. Nick, I was five. No, I know. I'm just saying like, that one's too much for me. This guy thinks I'm crazy for this stuff.

Do you guys know that I collected cereal boxes for most of my life? We do. Yes. Yes. So I had a lush addiction to. cereal which had to end with a hard chapter break when I gave up added sugar. When back in the old days at the old Earwolf office, one of my favorite features of the snack area was that there were just cereal boxes that I could just help myself to.

I would eat like two or three bowls of cereal a shift. Fucking Reese's puffs. Yeah. I remember like them those. I mean, I was a big cap and crunch guy. Cap and crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Fruit loops. Where we had at fruit loops? Love a fruit loops. Love a fruit loop. Cocoa puffs? All the way. These are great. So this is a thing I understand. I'm not, you know, I'm not a parent, but like my understanding, having worked on some cereal marketing campaigns is they don't market them to children anymore because parents these days are like, I'm not buying that fucking garbage that we were fed as children for my kids. No. And so now what they're, the way these things are advertised, and you can track this if you're like watch like an ad for. frosted flakes, it is directed towards like adults based on nostalgia. Yes.

I recently, within the last year, hey, you're divorced. Show them you're a tiger. Make dad's house the fun house. I, within the last couple of years, had a, a lucky charms of marshmallow. and the experience of eating it felt like one of those carnival games where you shoot like a metal ball

at a clown's tooth it just was so just obviously sugar it was just pure sugar there are these adult versions of the cereals that we had that are now made with like whole ingredients I have what is effectively

cocoa pebbles but it's cinnamon and there's no added sugar and it's just like rice, cinnamon, honey, and approximates the experience, but also doesn't make me feel like I'm putting a gun in my mouth. And I like that like, there's three wishes, protein cereals,

like all that shit is like, hey, you don't want to leave your entire life behind. You can still have this kind of. Yeah. I think, I mean, if I had to really think about it, It's not even my favorite cereal, but I think probably Honey Nut Cheerios is probably, like, the best one. Honey of Cheeros is great.

It's really good. I don't like that one. You don't like that one, right? I didn't like that. Wow. It's a good cereal. The worst choice I ever made was when I was a kid, I was like, you know what? I want to experience all Christmas feelings.

I want to have the perfect Christmas day. Yeah. And so I started Christmas by having Christmas crunch, which maybe Nick was a first. fan of because he loved cap and crunch i don't specifically remember ever getting christmas crunch well it's it's cap and crunch but christmas colors is it just different color way is he cover way does cap and become santa he uh i i poured myself a bowl of it and then instead of milk used eggnog and that's how i started the day and the day became the worst yeah that sounds

that sounds bad so thick as an as if you were to make a sort of eggnog-based ice cream and then crunch that cereal into it. Oh, there we go. That's kind of, I think, the fix for it. There we go. Yeah, that's flavor-wise, I could get there, but the thickness of the liquid. It's the viscosity of an eggnog in a cereal made me feel like I was eating bookers. So the only outside of the body approximation of what it's also like on the inside.

Also, it didn't, like, Captain Crunch needs a little absorption because it's a sharp. You agree with this, Nick? It's a sharp mouth feel. It's very sharp. No, it'll shred the roof of your mouth. So it needs to absorb a little, but the hangout was too thick. So it was like glass-like chunks in mucus. That's awful.

I hate that. The cereals, the, yuck. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Cereals that are like four adults, like grape nuts and like even I would even put honey bunches of oats in this category, right? They're kind of just like plain cereal. They're on some Phil Collins, pour yourself a bowl of grape nuts. Go to your accounting job. Noble profession.

Come home, yell at your wife. But also unable to cook for yourself. Yeah, I can't do it. Those cereals are kind of like, they're fine. But they're not like, they're not excited. I like grape nuts. You ever microwave those bad boys? What?

Hot nuts? Heat up some grape nuts. Treat yourself. Yuck. Fucking good. This guy's always heating stuff up or not supposed to heat. That's insane. What, like, wait, like you pour it.

With the milk in it, too? Hot grape nuts. But with milk, you eat up the milk? Yeah, like you're making oatmeal. I'm picturing them. Salvi like I'm a puke. I'm picturing them dry on a plate. I'm like, what benefit could they be warm?

Like carbonized. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to heat these bad boys up. Look, I haven't done this. He, like, takes the paper plate, turns it into a taco and just downs it. I don't think I've done this in 20 years, but I remember doing it and remember. Someone told me to do it, and I tried it, and I was like, this is fucking good. When was your last spoonful of mayo?

Okay, come on, those days are past me. It was a child. What? Would you do it now if asked? Yeah, sure. Wait, what? Nick Lorres. He would, as a snack, after school snack, spoonful of mayo.

Oh, no. White-ass kid. What? Settle down. Man, it's a little. spoon. I do like the taste of it. It's good. It is good stuff. I don't know if I'm going to go full. No, no, no. I like mayonnaise just fine, but it is a complimentary flavor. It's not its alone flavor. You need the two pieces of bread, but yet you'll just at minimum a folded piece of bread. What are you going to? What? No, just everyone's getting high and mighty yet. You'll just eat a pat of butter, won't you? Who? I don't do that either. Oh, I do that. As a kid, I would, uh, my family would have to move the cup of little cream. away for me. Oh my god. I actually love those little creamers. Because I would just drink them. Yeah, that's a that's the kid's shot. Yeah, but I would have a pile of them in front of me and they would be like we have to get these away for you. Fucking good. Yeah, that really little milkshakes. Really good. Oh yeah, if you get a flavored one too. I guess they weren't really doing flavored ones back then. But I was just drinking little half and half. Yeah, right. Just pure fat. A thimbleful.

Round little boy. Yuck. I think where we landed with cereal is like I just need it away for me. I'm glad it's not in the head gum kitchen. I can't have it in my home. Because I will just eat too much of it. Back in the days when I would work in an office, you know, eight hours a day, I was having three bowls of cereal a day. And it's just kind of untenable. Can't really, can't really, I can't help myself around it. I love the stuff. We have a new, this nice new pantry. And an entire shelf of the pantry is my cereal collection.

Yeah. Which none of it is like the traditional cereals. None of it's like the fruit loops or any of the joy. Yeah. It's like a fucking full Costco rack of natural cereals. And Mary is always like, are you going to eat all these? And I'll be like, you're not watching them rotate. Like she's not tracking that like there's constant replenishing and shifts.

Maybe this one from the back is going to move up to the top slot and that's the one that you're grabbing more often. And there's a constant turnover because she also doesn't eat any of it. So when she doesn't know that like, oh, I went through an entire bag. Because also all these new natural series, they all fucking come in a bag. And I'm like, put it in a box. Yeah. I don't give. The box is recyclable.

We're doing this in a bag? It's all bags. Like real cereal, I think it's called. Real cereal rice Krispies comes in a bag. Real cereal cornflakes comes in a bag. Fucking put it in a box. Give me something. Or put it in an artisanal jar.

Stop fucking kicking me in the teeth. Speaking of kicks to the teeth, fans of the mass effect series got a little bit of a kick in the teeth this past week. EA shutting down BioWare officially cancels new Mass Effect. This is from Polygon. That trailer was released. Did you see it, Nick? Yeah. I mean, it's, it was clearly so, it's interesting because, like, it's hard to tell at what stage in development it was.

They kept saying early, but they'd been working on it for a long time. I mean, it's just, whatever. I like whatever the state of the mass effect franchise, whatever the state of the Dragon Age franchise, into the last row of the veil guard was I didn't end up playing even though I thought I had some interest in it because it was kind of oddly received by the fan base. But it is a bummer that these companies and a lot of times we'll talk about what happened to EA specifically, but these companies shut down these studios that aren't producing their flagship projects. And it's just like it's the same thing we're happening. We're seeing elsewhere in the entertainment industry. there's fewer, there's less and less stuff being made and on the stuff that is being made is through a narrow, you know, a narrow sort of lane of proven IP. Yeah.

And it just starts to feel, I feel really stale. I'll read a little bit for this article. And letter to staff on Wednesday, EA chief operating officer David Tinson and chief studios officer, Cam Weber told employees that executives have, quote, taken a hard look at her business and will focus on the publisher's proven hits, including Apex Legends, Battlefield and sports games like Madden. It laid off 400 EA employees and 50 of those were bioware employees. So it's a bummer. You know, sympathy to anyone out there who lost their job, any developers who no longer have a place to work. It's just so grim and it's so depressing.

And part of that is because at its root, these companies keep getting acquired by private equity. I'll read a little bit more from this article. Electronic Arts was acquired and went fully private in August and a joint private equity deal by the Saudi Arabia by the Saudi Arabian government's public investment fund, Jared Kushner's affinity partners and silver like, boy, what a fucking trifecta there. There was a big vanity fair article today. The trilogy of evil. About how Kushner had these slush funds operating through Israel and Azerbaijan where he's like paying off like mercenaries and shit. like this huge expose just came out

it's probably fine so probably cool probably okay yeah that's awesome it's fine whatever it just sucks that like brother owns my favorite basketball team it's fine

along with Bob Eager it's fine it just sucks that what are they want what are you supposed to do you make something as I would call the Mass Effect franchise

while it is a little uneven these days I mean barely the original trilogy is fucking great. Unimpeachable. And then they had Andromeda, which was a little bit of a misfire, but, you know, they go with a proper five.

It might be a course correction. Who knows? How do you supposed to survive? Like, what are you supposed to do? A studio like this that makes good games and has made a bunch of good games, some of the best games, to then just get shut down by EA. Like, they don't exist anymore. Yeah.

It's fucking crazy. Yeah, I mean, like, because, you know, Dragon Age Mass Effect have been mentioned, but going way back. BioWare was founded, the name is because they were founded by doctors turned developers. And so, and they, that team crafted the original Baldersgate games. They, BioWare did not have anything to do with the development of Baldur's Gate 3, but obviously it owes its existence to Baldur's Gate 1 and 2. They did, and that's the older public?

Yeah, also Cotor. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's just like these huge franchises, these seminal RPG franchises were crafted by this, the studio, and now it's no more. But then again, if you look at EA's history, this is what they do. Yeah. This predates the, you know, them being owned by the Saudis and Jared Kushner and some other asshole. It's, it's, this is just like going back to when they acquired Maxis who created SimCity. They just shut them down, too.

I mean, it's just, there's just their modus operandi. It's just such a bummer because, like, not, some of these closures recently, like, I mean, Xbox laid off a bunch of people in the last, you know, a couple months to. Epic. And but like with some of the studios that they had under their belt Not all of them were like cut like they were like they were removed from Xbox But like double fine as an example We're not disbanded they were able to Just go out on their own and you would think

People would want more bio-wear stuff you'd give them an opportunity why how could it be cheaper? To just fire them other than to just be like you guys just do your own things Like, what's the, I mean, I just don't, I don't know how business works, so I don't know. Well, this is, this is the thing. I mean, it's like, there was a point in time where it was not just like, hey, let's, let's, let's, let's min max exactly how much money we can make to a fraction of a cent. And that involves, that, that leads to decisions like, actually, I trust them that that, that, that, you know, again, like, whatever, uh, algorithms they're using to calculate the, the most efficient way to run their company. tells them that, yes, by excising this, they're actually going to make more revenue.

Like, I believe that's probably the reason for doing it. These are completely amoral entities. They're just trying to maximize as much money as possible. If they could create more money by having BioWare continue to make a Bass Effect 5, I'm sure they would do that. But the issue is, like, there was a time when things weren't run like this. And there was almost like an ethos from these sorts of companies, these sorts of publishers, I'll focus on game development in particular,

But, you know, it goes back to the old, you know, to movie studios as well back in the day where it's to be like, you know what, we're going to finance these things that are not going to be our biggest sellers that are not going to be in the level of apex legends, but are going to add prestige to the studio and are going to like generally build goodwill for the company and for the brand. There used to be some sort of understanding that that in of itself had value, but that's completely gone now. It's like AMC doing both Mad Men and Walking Dead. Like I read somewhere that like the max viewership of Mad Men during like a particular week was 750,000 people. Meanwhile, Walking Dead was pulling in 29 million people, right? Jesus. And it feels to me like that was, you know, that's the balance. It's like, oh, you've got your prestige shows on one side and then your money makers on the other side.

They would call them loss leaders, right? Lost leaders, you go into the store and you're like, wow, I like this. That's fancy. I'll get that. Hey, you know, it's got one of the biggest lost leaders out there, Costco with a rotisserie chicken and the fucking hot dog and soda combo. You go in there, you get a hot dog and soda pop. Like, you're going in and you're going to buy some more shit.

It's just a good business strategy. He's right. And the thing is, he's right. Not me. I went in Costco once and I went out in a panic attack. I bought nothing from anyone. You got to go back. I'll go with you.

You got to go with me. I was scared. Hey, what of all four of us went to Costco? That could be an interesting Patreon episode. That would be really fun.

I'd love to go to Costco and just walk around. Four hot dogs, please. Don't worry, guys. It's on me. It'd be fun. Hey, why are you buying an $8,000 gun save?

Good value. I bought a sauna. Every time I fantasize. Because they have, the outdoor, like, you know, you just kind of pop it up in your backyard. I'm like, man, if I had a little spot for that, not a whole lot that could stop me from getting it. It's nice. Yeah. Picture this. You're in a taxi cab. You're in Rome, Italy, ever heard of it? You make a plan.

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That question is, what are you playing? What are you playing? Hi, it's me to resident of a merchant, and I'm here to ask my friend a question a little week. And the question is, what are you playing? Nick Weaker, what are you playing? Resident Evil Merchant Did you notice Ranch's back? I like ranch

Yeah, we're glad you We all like ranch I just want to, I mean, it feels like he just didn't even acknowledge That, you know, she was absent last week And Ranc, I don't like making eye contact with Rans I'm intimidated Yeah, I mean, we all are

That's understandable Once I saw ranch walking down the street I think she was walking to the studio And I crossed over to the other side of this Okay. Well, you don't need to go that far. I didn't want to make small talk. I wasn't nervous.

The ranch is friendly. Ranch is friendly. You know, you don't worry about that. Oh, I could just like ask questions, the ranch? Yeah, if you want. I mean, I'm sure you could. I'm not going to punch you. I promise.

What are? Insane thing to offer as the first. weirdly threatening what kind of fish you like good question it is an interesting question actually I like sea bass

see bass interesting answer too good answer you're a shrimp fan too right I know that's more under shellfish but perhaps I like shrimp I like shrimp

shit see this is how it would have gone on the street and then what you don't have a follow up you just you're not even like you could ask about the preparation

You could offer your favorite kind of fish. Crout. Okay, sure. It's good. It's a valid fish. Sort of a common fish, yeah. Great. And then we would say, I don't know.

You talk to us all the time. Yeah, you guys, I don't know, I'm not. I got to be honest, you come at a ranch like this, you're getting punched. You're going to get punched. I know. I don't want to. I'm glad the ranch is back. Can I ask you something?

Yeah. you said you're here with the question of the week. Yeah, the question of the week. And I kind of just, you ask the same question. The question doesn't change. Are you intending to ask a different question at some point? Yeah, I want to keep you on your toes. I want to keep you on your toes because what if next week is like pop quiz?

Oh, pop quiz. There's a right or wrong answer to this. Who's the president of the United States in 1947? Harry S. Truman, I believe. Harry S. Truman is correct. Wow, all right. I looked at Nick because I was scared. Who invented the phrase, military industrial complex?

That's a great question. I'm actually not sure about that one. I'm going to guess Ralph Nader. No, that's Eisenhower. Oh, so that was back in the day. Yes. Wow. And his farewell address.

Wow, the last thing he ever said? He invented the phrase military industrial complex and warned of its taking over. the United States machinery of profit. How much we have regressed where a World War II general turned Republican president was warning of the coming military industrial complex sagely, obviously that that's where we are now. It's just a full-fledged global industry. And now it's like, what, now it's just like fucking,

it's just like some guy. Yeah, shit's so fucking bad now. It's just like a random guy. A random guy is president. We've so, we regressed. We really regressed. Yeah. I'm taking over the secretary job or the, the speaker of the house.

Nick, I asked you what you're playing and you made me talk to ranch. Look, I'm, I'm going to defer on what I've been playing because I think Matt might have something a little bit more consequential. Okay. This is, well, get a load of this. Yeah. Did I accidentally watch almost all of the new season of Star of Fuck Edwinners? Holy shit. Was it all of it.

Did that make me start a new save in Cyrupunk 2777 with a hacker build focus? Yes. Am I going to finish that? Probably not. But I was like inspired to be back in Night City. But that's not even the main thing I was chewing on. Net runner. It's really fun.

It is. You can make them put the gun to their head. Well, even just early in the game too, like before you even get something like that, you can just like overheat and then just kind of get like, oh, what the fuck? And then that gives you a second to get a couple shots. What'd you do? Corpo, a street kid nomad. So Corpo, I went Corpo because it's the only, I played it twice. My first playthrough was Street Kid and then second playthrough was Nomad.

So I was like, well, I haven't done this yet. And the opening of that is really interesting. Yeah, I like the Corpard opening. The game is just good. And it's, you know, we talked about it to death, but it's a great game. Still playing Control Resonant and really, really loving it. Before we move off of Cyberpunk, you're the person who's seen the most of the show. Do you think we should do a Get Animated episode over on the DLC feed about a Cyberpunk ad charter season two?

I think, yes. I think there is. I feel like it's worth discussing. There's something that's definitely worth discussing, maybe not doing the entire, like, you know. Yeah, we're not doing the whole series, but we could do like one episode about the new series. I think one, yes, just because I think it's, there's a lot there. Good and bad to discuss, I think. Not bad.

Good and different is what I would say. Good and different. Control resonance is still great. I've returned to playing games normally. I've been using my thumb with sort of regular function at the recommendation of the hand therapist that I'm seeing for my occupational therapy. And just as an update to everybody here, actually, they measured the angle because when you close your hand,

Like the angle is not ever going to be like a perfect 90 degrees, like of you closing your, your finger or whatever. Mine is measured at 80 on a typical finger to 80 degrees, basically almost a 90 degree. You were bending your thumb towards your palm. Well, bending it towards my palm, but closing it. This week we measured it, and I'm at, with one week of therapy and like some, you know, stretches I've been doing here and there, I'm at 40 degrees already. So I'm about halfway there. So I've got to waste to go. But one of my recommendations from my hand therapist was play more video games.

Love it. I was like, great. Can I get a doctor's note? Can I get one? And then he also recommended that I get a Lego set and build some Lego. And I was like, okay, because just the, you know, using my fingers and things like that, like to manipulate small pieces and pick things up, that was one of the exercises we were doing in the therapy session was like picking up. small little like metal objects and I was having a hard time with it because like some of it

and there was a these like weighted sort of like discs that I was having to like turn over with one hand that I was having a hard time with because I just couldn't my thumb wasn't working but he was like get some Lego and just kind of get in there and so I got I got a Lego set I have not had a Lego set in 30 years wow have not built an entire Lego set probably ever really I like because I remember the Lego set that I had as a kid was like a bucket probably like something from Costco or something that was like a, this is a big bucket of Lego that has like a, or excuse me, Lego, I know it's, I've learned that it's not pluralized.

It's Lego. Yeah, it's just Lego. Yeah. Lose the S, it's cleaner. Yeah. And it had like an instruction booklet of like, here's a bunch of different types of things you could do. And I would just kind of make stuff, like, I would never really follow the direction.

It's going to make whatever I want. The Lego set that I got for this, for my health. Mm-hmm. Was the Game Boy. The Game Boy Lego set that they put out, I believe last year, and it's 400 and something pieces and I was like this is a good enough one where I'm like

well one I want to build this it's not so many pieces where it's going to be like a huge to do and it wasn't particularly an expensive set either and it's like reasonable enough where I'm like if I like this I'll maybe consider getting more I had an absolute blast doing it

I did it in two sittings basically it's excellent I don't know how much much it helped with what I was doing because I was like I had no issue right with it because all the it was it was it was very easy to do and then when I was done with it and I was like okay and I just kind of put it on a bookshelf in my office this was kind of like I don't think I can buy another one of these right now because I kind of liked it I liked it a lot the experience of doing it was great I just am like I can't take this on as a a thing that I'm doing right now because it's going to

take up too much space. But it was extremely fun and the cool thing about it is you build an original Game Boy, so like the big gray guy and you build two game cartridges Super Mario

Land and The Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening. There's little stickers for it and stuff. And so you can swap them out and then there's lenticular screens that have little segments from the game in them so you can kind of move it around

and you see like the Nintendo logo falling into place or you see Mario jumping on a you know a Gumba or whatever it's it's really really cool and the buttons push in too which is a really fun feature of it's sick as hell it's really sick I highly recommend it

I've been eyeballing the PlayStation one because there's one for PlayStation but it's just a little too I'm just like I can't do this right now but that's basically what I've been doing I've been playing my games per doctor's orders and still I have several weeks of hand therapy left to go, so I probably won't keep talking about it.

And then I built the Lego, and I really, really liked it. I love it. The sound of Lego, oh, by the way, just the presentation of, it's been a long time. Yep. The presentation of the packaging of a Lego, it's unbelievable. You open the, well, first of all, I wanted to keep the box, but I had to destroy the box to get into it,

which made me feel bad. Yep. Because I was like, oh, I put all the pieces away. back in the box and then, you know, give this box to somebody at some point. Couldn't keep the box because I had to rip into it like an animal. But then in the box, there were these paper bags that were numbered. And so when you get you're flipping through the book, you're like, okay, you're on stage one. You grab bag one, you open that one up.

And then you work on, it's not all just loose in there, which I appreciate it. There's a neatness to, in intentionality to the packaging, which I really, really liked. I always love good packaging design. Lego, always singular, like Cheez-It, also always singular. There's no such thing as cheese-its as far as the brand is concerned. Skittles, the opposite. Skittles always plural. I've maybe mentioned this on the podcast before.

I've said this on a podcast. I worked on a couple Skittles ads over a decade ago, and I found out their internal terminology for an individual Skittles candy is Skittles' lentil. Skittles Lentel. They don't say Skittal. They say Skittles Lentel. Skittles Lentel. Yes.

One Skittles Lentel. Dumps! Dumps! No singular. You always got a nap. Got it. Okay, okay. Dumps.

I don't know if that's true. You never said I got to take a dumps? Honestly, no. I've never said that. Not once in my life. I don't even really like saying it's singular. Honestly, it's kind of gross. I think if it was me

trying to communicate that feeling I might say something like excuse me I have to go to the restroom Yeah Alright well I'll come with No no no I don't want you to go with me I do have to say about Skittles real quick though

A couple years ago when they deemed That they can't legally be classified as food That was a really tough day for me Because I'm Without doing the math I've certainly eaten millions of skittles. Yes, right.

It's pretty rough. I love them. Because, like, I'll just inhale a bag of skil. Halloween, when I'm a kid? Oh. You think I'm taking my time eating skittles one by one? Those were tasty days.

Yeah, those were tasty days. What's everybody's favorite skittles? I mean, I like the classic red bag the best. The red bag is kind of a goat bag. Red bag. Red bag. I don't need those little variety. Those fancy variances.

I don't want tropical. Sour, I'll fuck with. Sour ones are good. I'm okay with sour, but I'm just also just give me the red bag. I don't miss Skittles. I don't miss Skittles. I miss Eminems. Eminem's.

Eminem's are good. I loved Eminem's. Yeah. Do I miss Skittles? Maybe I don't miss Skittles. I mean, I still will have Skittles. I mean, I don't miss Skittles because I still will occasionally have Skittles. So I guess.

MF is tasting the rainbow on the regular. That's what I've been doing. I built a Lego Game Boy and it brought me a lot of joy. Heather, what are you playing? A great man once said, what a yuna pomperachuba be donkey. Biddy Blaze. Scrib Dune. Biddy Blaze. What?

G. G. Blaze! This week, I finished the campaign on Star Wars Galactic Racer. Hell yeah. Which took me a significant chunk of time because it's 19 races to get to the final. And, you know, you've got a random loadout every time you play.

So you might. do all 19 of those fucking races and get to that final elimination and you're like, motherfucker, I don't have it. I don't have what it takes to be number one in this race so that I can take on Kestar Bool. But finally,

I got to face Kestar. And I thought because the Spoiler country. Yaha, Biddy Blaze. It's a racing game. So,

Spoilers, spoiler country. Yeah. Motherfucker starts the race by cheating and he's like a half lap ahead of you. Don't you hate that? When you fucking begin. Heather told me this already. And when she told it to me, I reacted like it happened to her in real life. I was so fucking mad.

After working so hard to get to get to race Kestar Bull, motherfucker shows up and just blast past me. And there's like a little cinema where you're like turning on your fucking pod racer or whatever. like to catch up. And I was like, son of a bitch, is this scripted? So that when he wins,

then the next time through the story, because there's some pretty significant story moments in the campaign, that the next time you make sure it doesn't happen, right? Like he wins and he'll be like, oh, what a shame. I guess you aren't cut out to be a racer, which I've fucking heard so many fucking times.

I hate this guy. But instead, I'd say, 85% of the way through the race, I finally get that motherfucker in my sights and I do have the ion blaster. And I hold that position and I target him and I hit him. And as I race up towards him, I run that motherfucker into the wall as hard as I can.

And I finish the race in first because it's the only other person I'm racing against. And I felt such pride, such joy and triumph. Now, do you guys want to know what happens in the story after you win this race? I do know because you, yeah, I heard this, but it's pretty good.

I'm okay with having it spoiled. I guess we'll just, we'll just leave a spoiler country warning right here for the listeners. Put on your goggles, your racing gear. So neat. And Scrib Dune. Write it down.

G.B. Bittipaste. Yeah. You get out and you're like, In front of the stands and your moment of triumph, everybody's cheering. Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade. And Kestar Bull pulls out a gun and shoots you in the chest point blank. And he goes, no! Nobody beats Kestar Bull!

And you fucking drop dead. And Hebe, your mechanic runs over to Shade. And I was like, Motherfucker. Oh, my God. He's dragged out by the cops. And I was like, I can't, I can't fucking believe. I'm like, I'm so invested in the tragedy of Shade the racer who finally beat Kestar Bull destroyed his career at the cost of my character's a female, her life. And then she reaches over and in her pocket is the racing token that you needed order to play.

And she's like, I'm okay. And I was like, this fucking game, fuck, rule so much. So after I beat this game So Ned Flanders beats a mob head He's got a piece of the true cross He's right, yeah After I beat the game

I'm like Simpson did it I've never seen any of the rest of this game What else is in this game? I go over to arcade mode Time trials All right try some time trials You have to beat Kestar Bull's time

On every track That's not enough for me Because I also have the list As everyone does Of every time in your friends list on PlayStation Network, right? So it's not just Castar's time. It's, you know, whoever's on my friends list.

And I race and race and race and race and race on that first track until I'm number one on my friend's list. Then I go to the next one. And I race and race and race and race until I'm number one. And the first five time trials, I'm now number one positioning on my whole friend's list and also above Castar. There's something like 99 fucking time trials.

Whoa. Wow. So many time trials. So then I'm like, okay, I got to try this multiplayer. I'm feeling pretty good about myself, right? Doing the time trials, beating everybody on my friends list, finishing the campaign, I drop into multiplayer and I'm like, the first thing you get to do on multiplayer is plays a bet on where you're going to finish.

Fascinating. Awesome. Yeah. Awesome. Because it's like, I'll put in my bet for me. And I was like, I don't want to get cocky. There's 12 racers. Top six.

Yeah. I'll beat half the crowd. My first campaign of multiplayer, I didn't come in higher than 11th. Whoa, Jesus. These fucking people are crazy. Yeah. It is so vicious. It is barely a race.

It is more of if you get close to another racer, their only goal in life is to kill you. Yeah. And it was like if you watched, if all the rest of the Star Wars I've been playing is like PG. It's suddenly like what the R-rated Star Wars would feel like. It's so intense as to be miserable. But it is my new fixation. Wow. And I'm going to get, I'm going to get pretty strict with multiplayer on Star Wars Galactic Racer. Is there a reason to jump into the campaign again after beating it? Like, is there like post-game like stuff? Well, there, so there's post-game story, which was fucking great. Yeah. But there is in that when you

finally beat the campaign, you unlock the highest difficulty level. And so I want to, I want to do that campaign on highest difficulty. But in terms of story, I don't know. What is nice is that the multiplayer has the roguelite elements to it. Oh, great. Like you get to like choose parts and shit. There's like a full two minutes in between each race where you're like spending your money, accent, like fixing up your car, etc.

Which is great because that's the, what makes the, what makes the, campaign so addictive but yeah beyond I don't think there's additional story in the campaign that being said I fucking hate Castar Bull I love Biddy Blaze I know it's memetic to like Biddy

Blaze but he makes me almost every interaction that that character has in the game is so funny like there's a point where Catch a Mox who's like the sexy corporate lady is like

oh I didn't know that was your garage. And Biddy's like, there's a garage! And she's like, oh, that's a shame. Well, I guess I'm just going to have to leave my car outside and it's going to get in the rain. And Biddy's like, well, you could maybe use my garage. Except the Nazis.

So fucking good. Really great. Really excellent work by that voice actor. Wow. That is what I've been playing. That. and only, I think, four rounds of Fortnite for the entire week

because if I have time, it's Star Wars Galactic Racer Time. That's seismic when that happens to Heather Ann Campbell. Junie! GP! Bittemite! They added Nikki from obsession to Fortnite. I know.

It's kind of a strange. Kind of weird. Yeah. I get it. And her remote is no. She's got cards because nobody can speak for Fortnite. And she says, no.

no, no, no, no. That's funny. Good movie. Yeah, good movie. Nick, what are you playing? Heather, thank you so much for asking. To be a pretty place. I'm two-handing Fire Emblem Fortunes Weave and Dressmaker, which I talked about last week,

as kind of a, you know, a chill game, a cozy game, a sooth core game, if you will, to borrow Kirk Hamilton's phrase. but I figured I'd take a moment today because the NBA season has returned and the WNBA season is almost at its end. The finals are taking place this week continuing to take place between the Atlanta Dream and the Golden State Valkyries. To talk about fantasy basketball, which is a thing that I play every year. And it kind of hit me this year that I really only play this for the text thread. because fantasy basketball sucks. It's so fucking dumb.

It's so annoying. It's so poorly balanced. And there's so much micromanagement because there's games every single day. And also to minmax, the minmax and eke out wins, you have to do things like track how many games a player is playing in a given week. Because, you know, it could be a guy could be playing every other day. And they've got four or five games or they could be having like a little bit of a break and they've only got two or three games. and that makes a huge difference in terms of their impact on your fantasy team stats. The dominant format, which our league uses, is 9-CAT H-2H, 9 category head-to-head.

And what that means, and I've maybe talked about this at a previous year, previous start of the NBA season when I was talking about fantasy basketball, is it's broken into counting stats, points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, and three-pointers made. percentages, field goal percentage and free throw percentage, and then a negative counting stat where fewer is better, which is turnovers. And so there are some things that are kind of built into the balance where like a high usage player, someone who gets a lot of points and a lot of assists, someone who is going to generate a lot of value in those categories, tends to have a negative correlation with

turnovers because they're going to just have the ball more, they're more likely to hand it over to the other team. And oftentimes there's usually an inverse relationship with field goal percentage because they're taking more shots. Larger shot volume generally correlates with a lower percentage. Why is it three-pointers made as a total, a discrete total instead of three-point percentage? I don't know. That's just how it is.

It's one of the fucking dumb, weird things about fantasy basketball that is just continues because of path dependency. But the thing about fantasy basketball and like all fantasy sports is, and Matt, you know this from playing fantasy football. Yeah. The draft is the most fun part. It's like front-loaded with the fun. And so once that happens, the rest of it is just like, oh, I got to actually fucking play this thing.

You know, it's like an RPG where like the most fun, you sometimes have an RPG with a really great character creator and then the actual gameplay is kind of like, all right, you know. Yeah, because I mean, I'm in a fantasy football league and I kind of do it for the hang. Right, right. Having the active chat is fun. That's exactly it. It's just for the chat. But I don't, I haven't watched a second of football this year. See, I watch a ton of NBA.

Like, I'm a huge, I'm a huge NBA fan. I'm consuming it voraciously. And like it is satisfying when a player you're you have on your team is having a great statistical performance in a game that you're watching. And it's also like for me like the right amount of investment in that sort of thing as opposed to putting in like player prop bets or whatever the fuck, which are just like that's that's a that's a downward spiral for me. But I just again, it's like I would love for someone to come up with a new way for fantasy to work like in general. And obviously this is just never going to happen because these are the ultimate casual game. and people are just going to go to the free, the free apps like ESPN and Yahoo and CBS and CBS Sports and whatever the fuck.

But like if someone was just actually like, hey, I'm going to design a bespoke fantasy sports app that has like a really good U.S. that has really good information, that has different formats that are a little bit more balanced. So it doesn't overvalue certain players who are, you know, maybe not as good in terms of their actual quality on the court and undervalue other players. players who are absolutely, like, essential, you know, like really, really important cogs in their teams, machines.

If you could really figure that out, I mean, I'd be all in for it. And that's the kind of thing I'd pay money for. But then I'm just also like, that's a niche use case because most people play this game really casually. A lot of times just draft their team and then just check out for the rest of the season. But anyway, once again, to my annoyance for the next eight months or so, I'm playing fantasy basketball. But group chat's a good hand.

What a sales pitch It would be interesting I mean No there's just not what I was like Could you draft a player who's not a league There's no way they would get points I was creating a different thing I'm thinking of like a tabletop basketball

Like RPG basically is what I've invented So you draft like a retired player or something Yeah you get Shaq and you could like I don't know Have them do a campaign What if you could do that with movies. Like you play a five-year game and you can draft actors and directors and writers. That would be interesting because usually the way those leagues work, they're box office

leagues and they're based off of and sometimes with an awards component, they're drafting movies. But if you're actually drafting talent, that's an interesting angle. I know that some other shows do like a fantasy critic thing for video games. This might be a funny thing for us to do one time. In what way? What do you mean? Like, we look at the games that are coming out in a year, and we try to figure out what the review score is going to do. Oh, got to go. We're guessing in Metacritics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fun. It'd be kind of fun. Sales figures. Sevens across the board for GTA 6. Oh, my God. Actually, wouldn't that be crazy? Because, like, everything is so, like, it's either good or bad. If it can't, if Grandin 5th of 9, that is worse than it being bad, I think.

That's, like, it'd be such a bummer. I don't think there's any chance of it. Every time they show gameplay, it's like, hey, you can water plants. You give up the life of crime and you could just like tend to a garden. Yeah, there's going to be a cozy game element to this, which is going to be nuts. Any fucking thing you want in it. So Matt, you were like, hey, okay, so you get retired players or something like that. It's interesting because there are, there will be like, like, like apps and sites that will pop up that will have like things like that.

For instance, 82 and O was a was a thing that was going last season. I mean, I think it's still around, but the whole idea was like, can you draft historically an NBA team from, you know, all the years of history that would statistically go 82 and O, which is an undefeated season, which is like basically impossible, that the best teams ever done is 73 and 9. So the idea of not losing a single game over the course of 82 games, like you just have to be, have an absolute jug or not. The issue with that is that it ended up being like the only way really to do it was to draft will change. who was just so statistically dominant that he just like was a win condition. But I do appreciate it when people have experiments like that. But yeah, actual fantasy basketball, I think sucks dick. Fucking horrible.

It's a waste of time. Ranch, have you been playing anything lately? I know you've been away. I'm not sure if you brought a steam deck or anything. Not really. Yeah. Actually, I did put Slateus Fire back on my phone. Oh, boy.

That is a dark path. Yeah. Fuck. I was playing so much Slay the Spire 2 earlier this year. Did you play any Slay the Spire 2? Do we talk about that? No, I'm kind of scared to download it. Yeah, you should be.

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You just got to do what you want. Let's talk about Switch Sports Resort and WeSports. Let's start here, I think, because Switch Sports Resort is out as of today. Yes. As of this record. We've all played it. We've all played it. I will say I've played it a small amount of time.

Me too. Small amount. I've just dicked around with it a little bit. We all just dicked around. I woke up early, played for about an hour. I got four or five of the games. Yeah. I already have complained.

Yeah, I immediately have complaints. Yeah. Well, like, okay, let's start here. First off, I do like the aesthetic of these games. Love it. I, you know, I usually have zero struggle to create a character that looks like me. No buzz cut option. What are we doing?

I can't go high and tight or I can't even do a cue ball. I can have flowing locks? Unplayable. I got to have flow and lock? That pissed me off. But anyway, so I make my guy. I make wags. I go in there.

and the first thing I do again huge basketball fan like oh they got basketball on this let's fuck around with basketball basketball fucking sucks in this game did either of you play basketball? I didn't try basketball I tried the ones that were

I tried the ones that were immediately interesting to me and then the ones that are sort of is basketball new to it I don't know if basketball is new but there's ones that were in it that utilize different play styles that I made in an attempt to play. I think basketball was introduced in

we sports I'm not sure about that. But it's not in the original Wii Sports. But anyway, so you were dribbling with the JoyCon, which is kind of fun. That's actually the way I like the best. And shooting is mechanically pretty, you know, pretty intuitive. You bring the JoyCon up vertically, basically in front of your face, and then you flick it to release it at the top of your jump, which is basically how basketball video games generally work. The issue is then you're going to face buttons to like pass, which to me is like, well, this is not.

that's not like the Wii sports experience anymore if I'm using face buttons and like a discreet button pass. Yeah. I want to actually be throwing the thing. Yeah, it should be that all of the action should either be shooting and everything on your left or right hand depending on your left or right-handedness. And then passing should be waggling with the other hand. Well, so okay, so it only uses one joycon for some reason. They decided to put it all on on either the right or the left, whichever handedness you lean towards. And so then you're playing, but the big issue I have with it is there's so many stoppages in play,

which is just a concession to try to make it work, I guess, with this control scheme. But such a big part of NBA, not just the NBA, of basketball at general is loose balls, like a rebound or, you know, a pass gets knocked away or someone's dribble gets obstructed. as soon as there's a loose ball in Switch Sports Resort basketball, the possession is over, and then the other team gets the ball. It's like, this is so fucking annoying that someone misses a shot

and is just like, that's it, reset. Is there a whistle? Yeah, it just does not feel like basketball at all in terms of the flow of the game. Defending is also like pretty, there's not much you can do. You basically can just slap away at the opponent's dribble or try to dash into their passing lanes

and you can try to block shots. Those are the only moves, yeah. But I found it pretty, pretty limited. And I was like, I would not put any real time into this. You don't like whistles? Not constantly. I think of whistle is funny. Yeah.

But I was imagining, like, a missed shot and a, we- Having to hear it every time. And I was like, that's no fun. I like whistle. You know, I loaded up the familiar sports from, you know, we sports. I was to play those first. But then I was like, oh, boxing. Heather boxes.

She loves boxing. She's got a fucking box, right? My living room set up in a nice way where I can box with the with the with the with the yeah, you have the ropes up. Yeah, I got the ropes up. I got a ref. Here's here's my frustration is that I have so much muscle memory from boxing all the time that when I'm put in a boxing game, I'm punished for doing the right stuff. Yeah. And that's really frustrating because instead of it being the sort of thing where.

Because it, when you're punching at somebody's face, you have to like punch up like a kangaroo almost. Yeah. Instead of like the normal punches that you would throw for somebody's face, right? And when you're punching at their stomach, you have to punch on a down angle. Which is not like your instinct is when you're seeing this figure in front of you is to punch where you would punch if they were actually in front of you. And instead you have to like deeply exaggerate the punches because it is not a boxing game. It is an arm motion game. I was confused by what you're saying because I thought you were saying you were talking about real boxing technique, but you're just saying the opposite.

You were saying the way that you actually, the way that you play this game feels unintuitive because you have to angle down and up. Yeah. And any sense memory that you have of actual boxing is punished by that being the wrong way to play. play the game. And when you put these, I don't understand why, and it's the same way on like some of the VR boxing games that I'm like, why aren't they putting real boxing trainers in these games to teach the motion so that when, because like the piano playing games, it's not like playing the piano on the guitar band style, you know, falling waterfall of notes. Yeah. Is making you press the keys in an unnatural way, you could, in theory, transfer the skill set, the basic introductory skill sets of piano

playing games into actually playing piano. But when you're playing a boxing game in VR or on Wii Sports Resort, if you took those motions and brought them into a ring, you'd be a mess. You get killed. You'd get fucking killed. I mean, look, I understand that there's a difference between playing something like guitar hero that's pretty abstracted and playing something like Rocksmith, where you're actually like, you know, I have rocksmith for my piano keyboard, you know,

with like, like, it is just playing piano. That's the input method. I do understand that there's, there's daylight between those things, but that feels like a frustrating experience for you. It is. It is. It's as if in the baseball game, instead of like swinging a bat, you were like flicking. Does that make sense?

Yeah. And it's, and that's very, that's a very frustrating experience to drop in on the boxing game and be like, up, yet again. anything that I'm doing that's from my actual training is the wrong input. And every time my body falls into those sense memories, because I see the character on screen, like going to throw a punch, and then I try to do a counter, which is just what your brain is trying to do,

and none of that works. Like, I lost my first boxing match on Wii Sports Resort. Yeah. What is the, have you mentioned? around with any of those like VR boxing games? And are those closer to the real thing? No. No, same issue.

It's the same fucking issue. Speaking of baseball. Where the hell is it? Why is it not in here? Here are the games that we do. Just to zoom out a second. Yes. If we can't.

Man, we're grumpy about this game and I didn't expect it. I'm grumpier about it than I thought I was going to be certainly. Because I'll just say, they announced this game earlier this year, June 9th Nintendo direct. Yoshiaki Koizumi demonstrated the thumb wrestling one. That was sort of one of the banner new features of this game. The sports included

in this game, there were 12 sports. Archery, boxing, table tennis, regular tennis, two types of tennis. Volleyball, bowling, basketball, golf, thumb wrestling, skateboarding, power cruising, which is just jet ski play. Power cruising.

And prop plane, which is you can fly a plane. And then there's also a jumprope. That's a carrot tops airline. Didn't that man try and kill himself recently, Nick? Oh, I didn't. I didn't realize that was a poor taste. I'm sorry.

I think that man tried to kill himself recently. He, but it is his airline is the thing. Yeah, it's still his airline. From the previous iteration, they cut badminton, Chambara and soccer football, footie. and then there's also a 100-pin bowling mode in here and four-player mode for power cruising

some of these modes are not the this is not how this game's supposed to work okay how is it supposed to work well flying the plane first of all is not very interesting it's not what I'm signing up for like a Wii sports

Nintendo sports what do we call this because It's two different... Switch Sports. Switch Sports. This is Nintendo Switch Sports Resort, certainly, but maybe Nintendo Sports is the banner for both franchises, right? That would be great. That would be great. Yeah, we're not going back to, you know, baseball for the NES.

We're talking specifically about the motion control franchise that began with Wii Sports. Just to talk about them as a singular franchise, Nintendo Sports, the whole thing is the motion control thing. That's sort of the magic trick of these games because they're like, it's not. They're not very, they're not amazing or excellent games, really. Right. But they're fun games to play with people who don't really play games, to show off the thing and how it works and to sort of dazzle aunts and uncles at a family party for a second.

Or, you know, play in a group setting with friends. Yeah. That's about as much fun as you can have, I think, with this type of game. And I think that the apex of that and the reason is that I think the second, I think the apex is the tennis and the bowling. Yes, that's what I remember when, you know, when we sports was, it came out, Jesus Christ, 20 years ago, 2006. But I remember when we sports was out. God damn it, no. And having friends over to play or, you know, playing with a, you know, playing with a.

going over to friends places to play or playing at work, it's like everyone would mess around with everything, but ultimately you'd land on tennis and bowling. Those are the two killer apps. And of those two, I think bowling is number one. Bowling is like the best. It's really fun. Bowling's the best one.

The thing about this game, though, too, I kind of forgot all about detaching my joycons and how they're magnetic for this one. Yeah. Because I just never have a reason to detach them ever. No, I definitely took a second of like, how do you do this? I was like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah, it's this button.

I was looking for the little rail button from the old one. I was like, you fuck, idiot. I did spend some time just trying to beat the magnet. Because I was like, is that one supposed to do? I'm just supposed to yank it's so fucking hard. I would have broken it. Yeah, you almost broke it today. Yeah, I did, yeah.

I forgot about the little things, too, the little tabs. But I think the real, the real, I don't even want to, I'm not even really mad at the game, because, like, the stuff that I think is good is fun. I was just doing it by myself. If I could play this game with like my wife or something, we would have a nice time with this. Right, sure, me too. And ideal, and this was impossible due to our work schedules,

and this game coming out today, the ideal version of this episode is we all get together for a little bit and play the games together. It would have been nice to have been able to do that. Absolutely. Just zoom out for a brief second even further. Oh, it's all of planet Earth. We Sports, the original release of this,

was a free pack-in game. Your price of entry was buying the system. This game costing $50 digital, $60 physical, is an outright crime. Yes. This is unacceptable. It's pretty tough. This was not a thing that I could write off as a business expense

because this podcast, I would be livid. Can I say, I haven't played, wait, was there a switchspoken? Sports before this? There was, yes. Nintendo Switch Sports tune. It was poorly received, but it was the 11th highest selling Switch game of the generation. I did not play Switch Sports. Me neither.

No. So this is my first JoyCon Nintendo Sports game. I think that the JoyCon is a significantly worse hand feel play method for the sports game. I agree. It does not have the same heft and the same... What's the word I'm looking for? GERTH. Bulk. Yeah, it's not have the same girth. Yeah, yeah.

It was girth. I wanted to say girth. Does not have the same girth as the Wii Remote, which is key. It's not juicy enough. Because what you need to play these games is to be holding like a plastic dick in your hands. It has to have heft. It has to, like, because like... You want a turgian... Turgeon.

throbbing controller. I also just don't like pumping and vainy. My vainy joycon. I don't like motion controls just generally, like just like full stop. I don't like it. Nick almost built.

Almost filled. We're not out of the woods yet. He's still got to put the cap back on. It was fine. He's got it. Nothing happened. He's got it. I just grabbed my Yeti by the lid. And the lid happened to. to be off and I didn't realize that. Who's fault is that? I'm saying it's my fault, but nothing happened.

Nothing happened. It was fine. It's all relax. I want to put you in like a bubble that's filled with water that can't spill. That's way you're just kind of in water all the time. And when you're thirsty, you're just kind of... I think it's the only way to keep everybody safe. Constantly falling over in the water.

Yeah. Like, if he's in water, he becomes the thing that spills. Yeah, yeah, there's got to be some solution that requires a big mechanism of some kind. The Doug Jones character from Hellboy just in a fucking tank? Abe Sapien, yeah. Man, Doug Jones is the fucking. He's great. He's great.

He's really good. But yeah, I find that the JoyCon is a lot less pleasurable a hand feel for the game. Like, when I'm bowling, Yeah. Not that the JoyCon, joycon, no, not that the Wii remote was a bowling ball. No. But there was something about like having a significantly larger thing to hold on to while playing a sports game. Yeah.

That it feels like tiny and sort of mealy in my hand. Sure. I get what you're saying. And it does really feel like, like, oh, this thing's going to fly out of my hand at any point. Obviously, you have the little wristbands, but still. Yeah, we had a little wristbands. Where the fuck are those? Where are they?

I had to fucking find that. I couldn't find it. I was like, well, I'm not going to look for this. I moved pretty recently. I was like, where the fuck are those things? I did find them, but I was, it wasn't, I wasn't happy that I had to find them. That's, you know, that's my fault. That's not a mark against the game.

And I won't, I will, I will remove that from the record. I will say it's interesting that all three of us forgot how to disconnect our joy cons from the system. And I was like, yeah, I have no. I mean, I have two pro-controller. Yeah, me too. I use a pro controller if I'm going to use it, and so I have no reason to do it otherwise. Yeah.

I've messed around with a mouse just a little bit and have been like, I don't like this. Yeah, you use it on Mario Paint every morning for an hour, and then you don't use the mouse anymore. So you mentioned making a character. Yes. I didn't do this. What?

Because there's an option to import a me. Oh. And I already had a me saved to my Switch account. I didn't think. I didn't realize that. I just used my me. I should just use my me. I spent, here's what, while my game was downloading this morning, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm

going to need a me. So I went into the switch menu, built my me, and then started up Switch Sports Resort, and it had the fancy character. And I was like, oh, I guess this one doesn't use M's anymore. So I didn't even know that you could import the Mee. The new characters in these games are called Sportsmates. Don't care for that. Yuck.

Sportsmates. You can design a sportsmate. And I guess there's a way to toggle them. off I was seeing on Reddit. You can toggle off sportsmates and have them be me's only. I would have done that immediately. I mean, you know, as an option. Because I think they look too

slick. They look splatoony. They do look splotony. And, you know, another franchise we just have never investigated really, but someone's got to be on a spiltoon beat. Can I say, can I say this is a small, and I don't know if this is the default for it, or if it's

randomized, but my favorite part about booting up the character designer was that it was a black woman. And I was like, oh, that's not. So I have to toggle too white. Yes. And I have never had to do that. And I felt great doing it because I was like, it's about fucking time. Yeah, yeah. Finally, a moment of friction in my life. Yeah. So I don't know if that's a shuffled character that first appears. I can't remember what mine was. But I was like, that's great. A lot of character creators that is like it'll just be totally randomized these days as a baseline. Let me talk through some of these

games. Because obviously I did bowling immediately and was like this feels good, I'm good at this, I like this one. I had trouble with bowling. Really?

I kept dropping the ball on the ground before I, and I was like, what am I doing fucking wrong? I'm doing it, there's only one thing to do. You swing and let go to the trigger. Yeah.

But every time I'd swing and let go to the trigger, the ball would just go straight down next to me. I did bowling. I did, gosh. I mean, I did tennis. I did table tennis, which I thought was really good.

So there are two hits for me. Table tennis, which I thought was really kinetic and fun, and thumb wrestling. And thumb wrestling, I think, is where the JoyCon 2 controller actually works really well. Thumb wrestling is an absolute highlight here. The way thumb wrestling works is you hold the joycon in your hand like it's an extension of your thumb basically. Yeah. And then, because I was really interested in what the, because I didn't see this part of the direct, I think. so I wasn't sure how it was, how it would materialize in the game.

I was like, what is that even gonna look like? Because other games, you sort of have like a hollowed out version of yourself, like a sort of, you know, partly invisible, a transparent, thank you. Yeah. Rendering of your character.

This one, you just, it's POV and there's an arm and a big hand out. It's like, this is great. This is really, really good already, kind of funny. And kind of wire you wear-coded? Kind of where it's like you're catching the thing. It's like that, but you're sort of, you can see that you can move your hand and you can

close your thumb and stuff like that. Then your opponent comes in, their hand is in your hand now. And then you can sort of do thumb wrestling, like how you would do it. You can wiggle out of it. Like if you get caught underneath the thumb. And you can also, you can get like a power up where you can make your thumb big. Yeah, that's really, and that's obviously like a complete, like not unreal thumb wrestling. It's just a silly thing they added for the game.

But if you, by virtue of holding your thumb down, so putting it in a vulnerable position where you could be pinned, if you hold it down for long enough, it pumps up. And then eventually, yeah, you have the big hitchhiker's thumb. Yeah. I'm glad that you explained that that's not how real thumb wrestling works. Do you want anybody going into this and be like, I'm going to try that? Yeah, don't try that in the real world. Lose a competition where they bet on themselves or something.

You get pinned immediately. But like that's, I think that's going to be a fun competition one for, like, friends and family and stuff like that. I immediately was like, I wonder what this would be like against a human player because they bet like the things of like, you know, tracking how the CPU is trying to wiggle out of it and staying with them is obviously going to be easier than a real person who can be a lot less predictable. For the, for the power cruising, the jet ski one, you're just kind of like out in the ocean, like in doing that. kind of thing, but you hold the joycons out in your hand like there, the handles for a jet ski, and you can make it go fast. And that is pretty cool, but I'm just kind of, those are in the category of leisure sports. There are three leisure sports in this, which is the power cruising,

the prop plane, and skateboarding. And skateboarding was the second one that I tried. And it was the thing that I by far had the worst time with. Wow. Skateboarding is the mouse, right? Skateboarding is you use the mouse, you use the mouse to manipulate your characters foot to you pull back on the in mouse mode with the joy con to have your character kick wow so you can get speed that's rough and it's awful wow when I saw the banner leisure sport I was like oh this is one where you can just use the controller yeah it's not really like uh maybe this is one that's not designed for motion control and I was I was disappointed yeah in that Because I was like, oh, they just put like a little Tony Hawk game in this.

I can use the controller as a controller. That's fine. No, absolutely not. I thought it was going to be, if you'd ask me how would skateboarding work? Yeah. I thought it was going to be, here I'll demonstrate. If this is the switch controller, like, you know, it's like this is when it snaps in. I thought you're going to have to go like this and like drive it around like it was skateboard.

You do that for the plane one, for flying the plane. You sort of, you use the plane like you're feeding a toddler or something that they don't want to eat. You kind of just like move it around like like an airplane But it's not in mouse mode No it's not in mouse mode It's in midair and that one is really funny Because you're flying over an island And I saw a building and I was like I'm gonna fly that building

And see if I can crash into this thing And I did crash into it and it what happens is Your airplane like explodes like there's not like a ball of fire anything But it kind of just like poofs and then your your your me character is parachuted to safety, which I found to be very, very amusing. I like that a lot. Then Alan Jackson writes a song about it.

Overall, I feel like my experience with Wii sports, when you first load that shit up felt like magic. Yeah. And I wonder if it's just because of context that this does not feel like magic. Yeah, I think so. I mean, we've just gotten so, like, this has been done before, and so we have, and we also have different expectations 20 years removed from the original in terms of what a, I also just think a huge part of it, and this was touched on already. But like this coming out as basically as essentially a full price game versus we sports being a free pack in. It just makes all the difference in the world in terms of your initial expectations for it. Right? Like, like this, the Wii Sports, you're like, oh, this comes with a system.

Let's see what this is versus this you're buying at, you know, either retail or through the Nintendo E-shop. And I'm coming in kind of like, show me what you got. You know what I mean? Like, just attitudeally, you have some different sort of expectations for it. But this is the same company that charged me for the game that was about the Switch 2's building. Which I think I liked a little bit more than it. I think I did too.

I like the game more so far. But I got to put more time into this. Of course, yeah. I can't give a fair assessment of this. But, you know, with my limited amount of gameplay. But I do want to say going back to Wii Sports, which came out with the Wii in North America November 19, 2006. Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Heather, I was 15 years old. Is this? What the fuck, man. Is Wii Sports, not the best, but the greatest or most successful launch title of all? time. No, Super Mario Brothers.

You think Super Mario Brothers still? I think Super Mario Brothers as the pack-in, because I think originally it wasn't the pack-in, right? Like, I want to make sure I get my video game history, right? And I won't count Sonic because Sonic was changed. The original pack-in for the Genesis was altered beast. Wow. So Sonic comes out later, and then he becomes the pack-in.

And if Sonic 1 was the original Genesis pack-pack-in, And I'd be like, hmm, it's, it's down to Sonic or it's Super Mario Brothers. But Super Mario Brothers is such a fucking clean game. It is so perfect that I think that between that and Wii Sports, Super Mario Edges is out. Well, so here's the thing. Super Mario Brothers is a better game than Wii Sports. Like that, that I completely agree with you. You know what?

I'm full of shit. It's Tetris. That's what I was going to say. I think the argument against Wii Sports would be Tetris, because Tetris sold so many Game Boys, but I think Wii Sports, and I'm looking it up, apparently was a pack in all territories except for Japan and Korea. So it just moved so many units because people would play this at someone's house or a demo console and would be like, well, I got to get this thing.

Yeah, I mean. I got to have this toy in my home. We had a Wii in my house and I just like didn't, I just didn't engage with it. It was my younger stepbrothers Wii and he didn't even really play it that much. And I'm like, this is like for him and he's not that into it. I guess I'm just like, what chance do I have at this thing? I do sort of feel like I missed out on this era. We was tough because all of these games felt like they had a mandate to include this waggle control stuff, right?

But there was still just a great GameCube sitting underneath your television. Right. Why am I going to play Twilight Princess with some forced waggle control? And so there's games on it that like the truest most successful versions of Wii games, like Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2 are phenomenal perfect games, right? They're fantastic. There's also weird classics like No More Heroes. Yeah.

Which why weren't there more lightsaber games on the fucking, like all anybody wanted to do with waggling was swing a sword around? And that game also, in order to charge up your lightsaber, you had to jerk it off. and I'm not like, not like, oh, you're jerking off, like, in quotes. Yeah. Like, it was conveyed that you're jerking it off. Yeah, the prompt said spit on my hand. Because it was like, you know, it's like one of those tongue and cheek games. But so much of the games on that system were like such low quality garbage.

Yeah. Compared to the 360 and the PS3. Part of the thing with Swordplay specifically, Because this was part of the justification for Wii Sports Resorts, a ReSports Resort, the original which comes out in 2009. Yeah, 2009. The original Wii controller, the Wii Remote, did not have the same sort of motion tracking that the Joycons do these days.

There was an accessory. There was an add-on, the Wii Motion Plus that enabled more one-to-one like sword combat, but that was not like the default. And so some of those early, like, what was that fucking launch title where you had a Catana. Red sword. Yeah. Yeah, it was like Red Sword.

It was something like that. It was something like that. Like, yeah. And everyone's like, in advance of that, like, people are like, oh, this is fucking awesome. You get to be a, you know, fucking ninja with a katana or whatever the fuck. Katana and gun. And then actually playing it, you're just kind of like, oh, this is kind of less interactive

than I expected. Red Steel. Red Steel. Not too bad. Red Steel sounds cool. Because it sounds like there's blood on your sword. Red sword versus red steel. The launch titles for, uh, for.

for the Wii for North America, Wii Sports, Packin, Twilight Princess, Excite Truck, Red Steel, We Play, Super Monkey Ball, Banana Blitz, Call of Duty 3, which I remember playing.

Yeah. Rayman, Raving Rabbids, trauma center second opinion. Tony Hawk's downhill jam, Monster 4x, 4x, Need for Speed Carbon, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Dragon Ball Z,

Ella Bits, Maden NFL-O-7, Cars, Avatar, The Last Airbender, the Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy SpongeBob Square Pants Creature from Krusty Crabb, Rampage Total Destruction, and GT Pro Series.

That is a thin, fucking lineup. Trauma Center was pretty fun. Yeah, trauma center is fun. But that one, if memory serves, like part of that was, because where it was, the Wii Remote was better was, like, a pointer control.

Yes. Like, that worked a little bit better versus like it's the one-to-one motion tracking that sword play required. To really solidify, bowling being the killer app of this game. My parents, my mom and my stepdad,

when I was over there pretty recently, had the Wii out. Incredible. They don't call Wii Sports Wii Sports. I was like, what did you guys bring out the Wii for? Oh, we were playing bowling. They just think of it as the bowl.

They don't even, they're not even engaging with the rest of it. They just, they compete with each other. in the bowling multiplayer. They love it. That's fun. Jesus Christ, when the N64 launched,

there were only two games. It was just Mario 64 in Pilot Wings, right? Yeah. Holy shit. All you need is Mario 64. That's the, I mean, that's the case for Mario 64, the completely thin software lineup

of people were still buying the Nintendo 64 for exactly one game. Yeah. The thing, just going back, I don't know why I'm beating this drum, but it's just like, I think it's probably as Tetris because Tetris sells as many games,

boys to people who wouldn't otherwise buy handheld gaming systems as probably more than than WeSport sells to people who otherwise wouldn't buy a gaming console. But part of the argument for WeSports is exactly that. It's just like it's really expanding the

market share of this console because so many non-traditional gamers are going to be like your parents are going to buy this thing for essentially one purpose. And then something I want to highlight here too is that there is a mode called Island Crown

where you can play all the non-leisure sports, which I believe is nine of the sports. And it's an offline ranked mode where you start at every sport at level, you know, at the bottom at 20, and you compete in, you know, in the games to get to level one. And that sounds like that could be pretty, you know, substantial unless everybody's really easy.

but I would imagine it's not that simple. You know, you gotta be good at these, at these Nintendo Switch Sports to get to the top. And then there's also, I was seeing too, that I was getting achievements when I was doing it and you have to go to a separate menu to do that because you don't get achievements in Nintendo games really.

Right. But if you want, you can look at those here. I'm just kind of like What is Will I Will I play this again? I don't think I'm going to And I spent that fucking money on it this morning

And I'm bummed I'm gonna keep playing it I want to You would We find out Nick's like the thumb wrestling champion Because I think you can play online too Which is a good Online

Which is cool There's like I like that it exists I don't I like the music I like the I guess there's an open world sort of aspect to this island.

And people like the island. Because from Wii Sports Resort, people grew attached to, is it called Woohoo Island? It's Woohoo Island. I like that. Yeah. Who named it, Fricking Homer Simpson? Probably. In addition to saying Doe, he also says woohoo.

He says donut. He does say donut when he wants to have a donut. Yeah, he usually doesn't just say donut as one word. It's usually like, ooh, donut. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And he says... Or the o'er. The jewel noise he makes.

Yeah. Okay. Gosh, I really wish I remember what I was saying. I'll talk about Homer Simpson. You like the island. I like the... That's part of it. That's an open world aspect. So I was seeing that people were excited

that the island is back because it was missing from... They were given an island in sports resort for the Wii. In the other entries, it's not there until this one again. And they're like, finally, the island's back. So people are excited about this.

Even though the Metacritic is 79, which is not bad. It's just kind of like, it's more of this if you... Right. There's not a lot here, I think, if you're expecting more. I'm reading about WeeSports Club, which was completely not on my radar, the Wii U exclusive. What's interesting about this is this, I guess, was just a remake of Wii sports. The five sports included were the same ones in Wii sports, tennis, bowling, golf, baseball. and boxing with motion plus support.

But I'll just read this. Nintendo experimented with an unusual pricing model, $1.99 for a 24-hour day pass, or $999 for permanent access to an individual sport. Isn't that wild? Isn't that just like a microcosm of why the Wii U was such a debacle? Like what are you talking about? I'm buying a day pass to play Wii sports for 24 hours.

You can play this for a day or you can buy one of the games. Get the fuck out of here I guess if you just wanted to use this bowling machine I mean that's all my parents would need I could just buy bowling for 10 bucks I kind of wish that's what I was so fucking weird I wish I could do that for this because I kind of

only really liked of the games that I would return to I could see me and my wife playing the bowling one yeah of course you know let's let's have a fake beer and bowl for a little bit it might be fun yeah that might be nice Nintendo Switch Sports the prequel to this game

I just I don't know how I just completely missed its existence. You know what I mean? I feel like like this was, was maybe the era when you had things like, what was that, that, that we,

we talked about, was it we ring fit adventure? Yeah, ring fit adventure. Like what ring fit adventure was like the kind, like I remember playing that one. We covered it on the podcast, where there was some more motion stuff going on the,

on the switch. But like, like, I don't know, I just somehow completely missed that one. I really liked ring fit, but I can't play it anymore. In part because you need the old,

joy cons for it and I don't have my switch set up but two I have downstairs neighbors now and I kind of feel like I can't be stomping around playing an optional exercise game I just go outside and you know run around if I want to run around I don't mean to be so down on it as a as a product because I think there's a lot to enjoy I'm just kind of like what you know we're getting first impressions I just want to I want to keep qualifying it is first impressions but I I will say that part of the feeling of the Wii sports games is a vibe. You know, like it's got a vibe.

Yeah. And the vibe is the music. The vibe is the aesthetic, you know? The, that's sort of like optimistic 2006 aesthetic of Wii sports. And part of what was off putting to me was how flashy, how shiny, how much less of a vibe. Switch Sports had Switch Sports Resort Because I was like

This is not chill No I got my Switch 2 with me right here So do I Here's what I'm gonna do I want to do this Change this setting That you change Matt

In real time to see if this Immediately alters my impression The game just getting my My fucking me in there And changing the look to me Instead of these Weird creations that they have Nick has pulled out his switch two

I gotta detach him again God damn it He's dead attaching the joy comments. There we go. You know what? I will say the little whatever the fuck, the kickstand? I can think of the word kickstand.

The kickstand on the switch two, I'm liking that kickstand. Yeah, it's great kickstand. It's really good. Well-designed system. All right, let's see. How do I change this? Customize options. I'll figure this out.

Nick is in real time during the podcast trying to adjust the options to allow his me. I was reading that. Nick's outfit changes in real life sometimes. When they were, like, what, how do you do that? I made two characters this morning. One was a me, ready to go. And then I was like, oh, I guess you can't use it. And I played as this sort of shiny-faced plastic person.

I do like that the term me has stuck around. For 20 years. Yes, pretty great. Started on the we is from that. It's the way, like, it's the same, in similar way that, like, podcasts are called podcasts because you could listen to them on iPod. Right. Right.

It's just a terminology that stuck around. You know, it was delightful when I loaded up the me maker on the Switch 2? Yeah. Was that the music from the fucking original Me Maker played. Yeah, they just patched that in pretty recently. Oh, really? Yeah, that was like a new thing that people were excited about. So what?

It was just silent before? Yes. Oh, my God. It's a heroin. Like God creating man. No music. It's so horrific. The idea of just like thunk, thunk, thunk.

Thunk, boop, boop, thunk. While you're like picking out your me? Yeah, not these eyebrows. Thunk. Awful. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, no, it plays the original me music and I was like, oh, that's nice.

When I have to make something like that where it's supposed to be a facsimile of me, something about the experience. I've never become more dysmorphic than when I have to do that because I'll make something and I'll be like, this is what I look like. And I'll show.

to my wife or anybody, but mostly my wife is who I'm showing these things too. It should be like, you don't look like this. What do you mean? Not in like a good or bad way either. It's just like it's just not how she sees me. Didn't we have a piece of merch at one point that was the three of us as our me's?

Yeah, those sort of nailed it. And I was done by our old artist for the old show back in the day, Aaron Nester. And Aaron Nester crushed that. Yeah. Nick is now just playing the game. I'm just playing tennis. He backed out of the podcast.

Hold on. He's just fucking clocked out and just started playing video games during the show. Nick said I had it. I'm done. No, hold on. Clocking out at the doing it factory. This is, this is a testament to how much aesthetics, cosmetics, impact our experiences. We're getting this in real time from here.

Playing tennis. My guy's a me. He's my me. David and Maria, who I'm playing against her both me's, the characters who are in the, like, the, the, the lobby and who are, you know, in the crowd are all me's, immediately, like in this game more. Okay, hell, wow. Like, I just think it's better.

It just, like, it looks better and it looks like the game that I remember. Can you turn your, can you, can you show us? Yeah. The me version? They're nude. I'm just kidding. That is better. It's better.

He's got long legs, though. They still are, the proportions are wrong. What the fuck is that? He's got real long legs. They have the me aesthetic to it, at least. And I do like that more. But with long, like, fucking Grinch stole Christmas legs. You're going to complain about characters being out of proportion when you play Fortnite?

Come on. No, no, I'm talking about like those long legs. See how fucking tall Sonic is in your game? Everybody calmed out. Everybody calmed out. Do you guys know what was leaked as next season? This season was video games? What is it?

Anime. That's pretty cool. I mean, who cares? Yeah, you know what? Who cares? Not to you giving me the information. I'm just like, they have anime characters in the thing. But anime powers, because all the powers right now are video game powers.

You know, you have a Sonic Speed, you've got like infinite ammo, like all these powers from video games are the powers. So if it's anime season, you're going to be able to fucking do the anime powers. Expect a note-tap apology in your inbox. That was tough. I should have said that. I've heard a rumor. I've heard a rumor that they're doing a death note collab. And if you can fucking death note somebody on the island and you'll get like a countdown,

how fucking rad would that be? Here's what it has to be. The death note power is you saw, you were able to get somebody's username. Like that is in the match that you're in. You have to type it in. That would be so fucking cool. I'd be on board if they get Violet Evergarden in there and include her power of failing to understand simple concepts. Play game

Where's the major God I fucking hated that show I liked it the more the longer We've gone since it happened The more I don't like it I've been thinking about this a lot recently That like we stopped doing Get Animated after we watched

Serial Experiments Lane We all decided we were like you know what Maybe we were done with this I got wasn't the show that killed it actually a different, like I love serial experiments. Yeah, wasn't it? Elfin Lee that killed it? Oh, any Elfin Lee minutes feel bad, but that was we ended on,

was that with our last show? I think it must have been out. I don't know. Elfin Leed or serial experiments was our last show. Alphen Lee was a fucking nightmare. Awful show. It made me feel bad, just like full stop. It made me feel like I was committing a crime.

So this is a, like I, and I knew this, but it was interesting to return to this factoid of like when they were doing the the first prototypes of Wii sports back in the day, it wasn't Me's, it was Mario Characters. And you think of like, if you're Nintendo, it's like, oh, yeah, that's a no-brainer. Of course we're going to make the We-launch title like the Mario Characters. But it turned out like the bolder decision to be like, hey, we're going to go with these me's, these new like user-created avatars that are really simple aesthetically, really bare bones, but have this, you know, let you put your own.

own set put yourself into these games like that was the the correct creative decision yeah because like the first thing a lot of times people get get their hands on the weeds like oh i got to make myself yeah it's like the first instinct and it's it's so because it's so simple and straightforward it's not the kind of things where it's like a from soft character creator where you can really get in the the weeds about like you know the slope of your brow ridge or whatever the fuck it it is just like you're picking from from a bunch of prefab templates effectively it's it's it's it's like you're a really, you don't get stuck with analysis paralysis and it's a way to onboard people into being part of the game. I like, I love Me's. I'm glad they still stick around and I'm actually like, again, I really like that that is raised Nintendo Switch Sports Resort in my esteem just by virtue of including that Me feature.

It's nice that they included it, but it also just then begs the question, why did they do the other thing? Yeah, why do the other guys? We don't like the other guys. Who are these sportsmates? I don't give a shit about them. If you're 12 to 15 years old. You don't have any nostalgia for the me. Yeah. The me came out before you were born and you'd be like,

why are these characters so ugly? Yeah. Yeah. But I guess that's kind of what I liked about, like Tomodachi Life is that they were sort of me adjacent. Yeah. Good stuff. Should we do a segment?

I would love a segment. Is the segment celebrating how I made my own troubish adventure partner? It can be. I liked when you showed it to me the other day I'm so proud of it I've never sown anything in my life I did a really good job I had to take apart one thing then

sew together another thing to make a thing that didn't exist and now I am the person with the Trubbish Adventure partner hanging off my purse Has anybody said anything about it? Not a single fucking person Wow nobody even looks at it and says oh Pokemon nobody even look like nobody even

nothing nobody out here knows ball even even even Even if they did. There's not talking about. Nobody gives a... Nobody fucking wants to look at that thing. Disgraceful. He's my boy.

I'd look at it. I'd fucking love him. What's the segment? The segment is, you guys are going to have to tell me how long it takes to complete a game. It's game over time. And this... All right, I'm closing my laptop. Close your laptop because it's about to get a little bit spooky.

Uh-oh. At the end of this week, it's Halloween. Wow. So I thought, why not... Ooh. Spooky. Spooky. Scary

Wolf Wolf noise Frankenstein Fire bad Right Creature of the Black Lagoon I don't know what he does I think that

Yeah Probably that It's weird that you made a dick-sucking motion While that happened Yeah he's like You're sucking somebody off I have a list of Horror-based games

You guys are going to have to tell me How long it takes to complete these games How long are we spent in these horrific scenarios. Okay. Closest wins, no prize is right. We're going from how long to beat, and we're going, are we doing main campaign only or main plus extras?

Main campaign only. So this is the lowest threshold. Lowest threshold. And as usual, these are self-reported averages, right? So, like, people are going to, yes. You know, say what they say. Here we go. Bioshock.

How long does it take to complete the main story of the original Bioshock? 31 hours. Heather says 31 hours. I don't remember being that meat of a game. Let's say 12 hours. Wow. Nick takes it 12 hours exactly for the first bio shop. Hell yeah.

What the fuck? Do you get a bonus point? Yeah, Nick gets two points for that. Hell yeah. What just happened to me? When you get a point in a specific way and you ask if you can have a bonus point, usually I'll give it. Okay. I think we get it on the dot, a bonus point.

If you get on the dot, you get a bonus point. We can call it a half point. Bonus half point. No, you get the phone. The full point. I'm fine with it. Hell yeah. Christ, that was a fast game. 12 hours.

12 hours. Next. Dead space. How long does it take to complete the main story of dead space? Heather went first last time. I'll go first this time. I didn't play dead space.

I'm going to say seven hours. Nick says seven hours. I'm going to say 14 hours. Heather's going to take this one, but only get one point. Okay. Because you do not guess it directly on the dot. All right.

12 hours for dead. Wow. All right. And that great? Dead Space always a little too scary for me. I have the remake. I got the remake for like $8 or something. I should play the remake.

I want to play it. I missed out in the spooky season window, I think. There's too many games. There's too many games. And I wasn't really feeling in the Halloween spirit, if I'm being honest this year. Yeah. Because how am I going to act like I'm celebrating scary stuff when everything is actually pretty scary? I am.

I live on this Halloween support. supportive block, right? Lots of Halloween decorations on my block. Jack Skellington is the... Last year... God damn it. I'm just going to say it's in Halloween town, right? Last year, tons of Halloween decorations.

This year... Oogie, man lives across the street. This year, almost no Halloween decorations. The mayor's head turns around. I said it to... I was like, what do you think that is? My wife was like, I think everybody everywhere is tired. Yeah.

Yeah, everybody's tired. Yeah. We're all tired. Humans everywhere are tired I haven't even carved a damn pumpkin Well it's a little early It's a little early for pumpkin carved That's a little early

What 10? You don't want to do a lot I have actually never thought about that I'm card a pumpkin so fucking long I carve one every year And I usually do it Five days before Halloween Five days?

Because otherwise pumpkin's nasty Especially in L.A. where it's hot What's your pumpkin carving technique? Super classic and I have the pumpkin carving kit Wow I do triangle eyes, triangle nose And then the regular jacket I like a very very

classic pumpkin. Yeah. I'm not going to do all that. I'm not going to get like a stencil. Yeah. Yeah. And like, you know, make like Abraham Lincoln on it or something. I think I'd probably if I want to do a really chilling pumpkin, I would carve on it,

The News. How are you having so much fun? You're being a stinker. Okay. Nick's in the lead. Still anybody's game. But we both got one correct. Yes.

but you did get it you got your is really good and I asked for a bonus point and you asked for a bonus point and I gave to you this next one Alien isolation a game that everybody says

is like the scariest game it's fantastic I haven't beaten it but it's great I want to play it but I'm too scared 18 hours that's just 18 hours I'm not gonna price his right her

I think it is less but I'm not gonna say 17 I'm gonna try to actually get it I'm gonna say 11 hours Nick says 11 Heather gets the point Tying the game up If only you had said

A half hour longer 18 and a half hours Wow Are we doing half hours now It's what the data says Oh fuck I actually was not thinking In terms of half hours

That changes everything Well It doesn't change shit It's a tie game But it's still anybody's Tailtales the Walking Dead season one You liked alien isolation Yeah

Okay. Scared game. Good game. I certainly must own it through, you know, PlayStation Plus or any of those types of things. I'm also not somebody who gets scared in video games. I would say, I would say there were a couple times where I was like I felt the tension. The only game has ever scared me is PT. Yeah.

PT. I was like, this is fucking nightmare. I don't even want to look at my goddamn screen. Alien isolation, I'm like, oh, I feel tense. I'm afraid that this thing is going to come around the corner. Yeah. And that's a fear. Right?

That is that you've described the feeling of being scared. Yeah. So Telltale is The Walking Dead Season 1. I'm up first this time. Yes. This is the full season. This is not episode one. This is the entire season.

Okay. Well, half hours are in play. We know that now. Half hours are in play. We know that. I'm going to say seven. It's the only fraction. Seven and a half hours.

Nick says seven and a half hours. 13 hours. Heather gets this point. Wow. Overshot it by a half hour. 12 and a half hours Now Heather's in the lead I guess it is a pretty meaty season

I've finished I remember how many episodes is it's like six or something Maybe they're like 12 It's five or six Yeah I guess you stack them all together It gets a little bit meatier than that I was thinking people were blazing through it But I love those games

I love those games The Evil Within How long does it take to complete the main story Of the Evil Within A game that I've heard about But have no concept of that game Heather's first this time I think?

Yes. Nine and a half hours. Nine and a half hours from Heather Ann Campbell. Let's see how Nick responds. I'm going to say there's a sneaky big boy. 27 hours. Jesus Christ. Math-wise,

Heather is closest. Wow. Because everybody's going to get a point no matter what. I guess I'm not if you're both wrong. How does it work? Whoever's closest gets the point. That's how we've been doing it. Yeah.

So Heather gets the point. Now is two in the lead. Wait, what's the actual time? 15 and a half hours. 15 and a half. Yeah, it's closer. A game we covered on the show, Carian. How long does it take to beat Carian?

I start off so strong. I'm fucking getting shit out. Yeah, you got it. You got that first one with a bullet. You got so cocky. I get confident after that pumpkin thing. Okay, so let's see. This is Carian.

I'm up first. Yes. We played this game for the show. We did. And I finished Carian. Which one is this? That's the one where you play the, it's the Metroidvania where you play the monster.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really good. Yeah, it was really fun. Eight hours. Nick says eight hours? 10.5 hours. Nick's closest, even though

you overshot it by double. It's four and a half hours long. I remember being a pretty modest length game. I thought it might, but these have all been a little bit, most have been a little bit meatier than I expected. That's right. And finally, Catherine.

Do you know what the score is right now? Heather's up one. Heather's up one. Catherine Unless anybody asks for an extra point Edge Yeah remember when I used to start Every episode

By saying edge Yeah Everybody liked it too much It turned out people Did not like it We pulled if I should keep doing it People said I can't get any work done

Stop telling me All right Catherine Who's first this time I am You could either Tied up or run away with it 11 and a half hours

Ratch you're familiar with the game Catherine No. It's a very horny game that is like you're climbing blocks, but while you're doing it, you just are hearing someone to say, edge, like when you reach edges. And then there's like, at the center of it is like this, like, you know, a lot of like really,

like sort of like a lustful sort of a. Yes. It is a tonality to it. An interesting, I think the block climbing mechanic is good and should be in its own non-horny game. Because I think that it's too distracting. I kind of want to just climb on the blocks. It's weird how horny it is for what its gameplay is.

Yes. But not a problem with me for Honey Pop or Honey Pop 2 double date. So I guess it's just situational. You said Heather, 11 and a half hours, Heather. Ah, fuck. I remember this being. Ah, fuck. We played this with Sean Diston.

You did this Sean Diston, like year one, year two? Yeah, year one. First Halloween, I think. I remember this maybe being a little bit longer. I could be completely fucking off base here. I'm gonna say 15 hours. The point,

you guys were both in such a narrow window of closeness. 11.5 versus 15. It goes to Heather. Wow. For being only one and a half hours away from the actual number, which is 13 hours.

Wow. Came down to a half hour there. So Heather is our winner. I won the game. Congrats, Heather. Even though Nick tried to win by cheating in the beginning. Now what have you learned, Nick? I'd do it again.

I'd do it. An extra point. If you're ever playing a game and you just ask, you never hurts to ask. The worst thing I can tell you is no when it comes to if you can have an extra point or not. Can I have one now? Yeah, you can have another one.

Now I definitely won. Fuck. Do you want another one too? Give it a ranch. Ranch gets a point. That was game over time And that's this week Sorry

I'm looking up The Catherine Gameplay right now And it is A guy in his box He's climbing blocks Yeah And there is a monster But it's like

Someone ass Right backwards And there's like a tongue sticking out of it Yeah There's a lot going on What's weird about it?

Sounds like a normal video game You see that stuff in Mario all the time No, it's farting hearts. Look, Ranch, fine. We'll do a follow-up episode. We'll reinvestigate Catherine. That's this week's Get Played.

Our producer is Rochelle Chen. Ranch. Ranch, you, anything you want to plug? No. Awesome. Thank you. Music is by Benprenti. Benprenti Music.com.

Our artist by Duck Brigade Design, duck brigade.com. Merch at kinshipgoods.com. And ad-free main feed episodes, plus bonus episodes every Wednesday over on our Patreon, Get Play, DLC. Matt, do you know what we're doing this week? I sure do.

We're concluding OXSilla. Our time with the big boy has come to an end. And we cap off this month with our, we discussed Godzilla minus one with our pal, Haley Mancini. So check that out. Haley is a Godzilla fanatic, Godzilla expert. I can call her that. I'm not sure if she'd give herself that title.

But she certainly knows a ton about Godzilla. And it was a great discussion. and Godzilla minus one. A great film. So, so fun to revisit. Check that over at patreon.com slash get played. And this week, thumb wrestling, you got played.

That was a hate gum podcast.