Get Played - Soccer Games

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

In honor of the World Cup Heather, Nick and Matt discuss some of their experiences with Soccer (football/futbol) video games! Check out our merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at [e-mail] Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hey, guys. Hey, what's up? Notice anything different about me? Let's see. I don't know. You're wearing your usual hat. My clothing might be a little different, though.

Notice the, maybe some of the stripes on my shirt are vertical? Wait a minute. What? Matt, are you a ref? Guys, I'm a ref now. Wow. You're a ref?

They let me be a ref. This explains the whistle. Yeah, I got a whistle now. You see, you're just a referee? Yeah, I'm just a referee. For what? Just kind of whatever, you know, just kind of like, I see something I want to call out. I'll blow my whistle, throw a little yellow flag out on it, call somebody out, tell them not to do that.

I'm sorry, what sport are we talking? No, just in general. It's just my new job. I'm just a referee now. You're just a light, like a world referee? Yeah, world referee. Just like anything that I see that's kind of like not up to snuff, blow my whistle, throw my little flag out, you can't do that.

What do you mean up to snuff? Like if you... If I don't like it. I'm now something that happened earlier is making sense, uh, because there was like one Coke zero left in the fridge. Yeah. And I just kind of took it and opened it because I was like, you know, whatever, I want Coke zero.

And I think you wanted one and you handed me a red card. Yeah, you're heading to the penalty box, brother. You keep acting like that. Can I ask for a little clarification? What do you mean? Um, yeah, what do you mean? Earlier you said they. They let me be a rep.

Yeah, who is this authority? Who is this governing body? Who is they? The World Federation of Referees. The World Federation of Referees. Yeah, I've sort of been called to it like Hal Jordan and the Green Lanterns or something. So there is, okay. I picked up a whistle.

I saw a whistle on the ground. And you picked it up. I picked it up. And you were trained. blew into it. And you were transported. You blew into a random whistle that was on the ground. It's disgusting.

I wanted to see what pitch it was. That's. I have perfect pitch too, by the way, so I could have identified it. You can identify a whistle's pitch? Every part of this is overwhelming. Yeah. Wait, I have to ask, Matt, are you paying anyone money to be able to do this? No.

I'm not paying anybody, but also I'm not being paid. This is a duty. I've been called to serve as a referee for the entire world. Okay. You know what? I'm going to blow my whistle right now and throw my yellow card out here. You guys are pissing me off. Oh, my God.

I already have a red card. So I've already been ejected effectively. I guess a yellow card would, what, suspend me for another game? You can't play again, yeah. I'm so confused. How do I... I have a yellow card now. Yeah, you're inching towards red every second.

What am I not allowed to do? Well, it's not my place to say what a woman can't can't do. So first off, let me just get in front of that. Because I'm not doing that. I would never do that. All right, Matt, I'm going to tee you up. You got a technical foul. I got a technical foul. You can't mean? I'm a ref to. What the fuck? You're both refs? You're been a refs? I've been reff this whole time. Oh my God. And I haven't been liking what I've been seen. I think you've been overstepping your bounds? You think I've been going past what is acceptable as far as my duties go? As far as the duty that this whistle gives me as a holder of the tweet.

Oh man, this sucks What the job? I know it's hard The job sucks What are you gonna do though Why do we do this? It sucks I don't want to do it

I want to make money doing a job Yeah Now I have to do this Do you guys think that if I tear off my shirt I'm gonna have a rough shirt underneath that thing I can't ask you to do that I don't want to win on this Let me see it on here

Oh no Oh God Heather should have stuck to her Oh, Jesus. Oh, I clawed too deep. I clawed too deep. You pulled skin. I pulled skin out.

I pulled skin. I pulled skin. You sort of de-gloved your torso. I'm going to give you another yellow card for that. You're out of here. Oh. Go to the dugout. We hit the ball with our heads and don't use our hands as we discuss proper football

video games, aka soccer games, this week on Get Played. Welcome to Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather Ann Campbell, along with my fellow host, Tiger Weiger. That's me, fellow host, Tiger Weiger, along with our third host, Mr. Games, Matt Apodaca. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the premiere video game podcast where this week, it's the beginning of the World Cup. Can we legally say that? Is this like, do we have to say the big game? Yeah. Yeah. It's, Let's call it the

the football dish. It's time for the football dish. We're talking to the global dish. How about that? The global dish. Are you guys serious right now? I can't tell. No, well, I mean, like, this is a thing.

I think you can say it in the context of a podcast, but like an ad, you can't say Super Bowl unless you have the Super Bowl license because it's a trademark. They have to say the big game. Well, I mean, this isn't an ad for anything, so we can say whatever the fuck we want. We do have ads for this on this podcast. I'm not currently doing an ad. Speak for yourself.

What? Get 15% off promo code Weiger. And that's off anything. That's off anything. Use it at Amazon. Use that at your HMO. Honestly, type it in. Put it on your taxes.

We don't know. We don't work. Guys, are you watching the World Cup? No. No. What? Wait, I'm the World Cup watcher? Well, here's the thing.

I do like the World Cup. This episode's coming out on the Monday after opening weekend of the World Cup. Do they call it opening weekend? I don't know. They got some fucking name for everything. They call it the opening weekend of the global dick. I haven't, you know, I'm saying I'm not watching it, but that's because as of right now, it hasn't started. And I don't know if I'm going to watch it.

I will definitely watch some of it. This is the thing. Like the World Cup is so the part of it. that's so grim is that it's managed by FIFA, which is, you know, this corrupt Euro-Trash cabal that is continually exploiting the local population of wherever it's having, holding its events, extracting a bunch of, you know, revenue from them and then destroying a bunch of neighborhoods and emiserating a bunch of workers. By that measure, you can't enjoy anything that exists on Earth.

I agree, but FIFA is particularly onerous. FIFA? More like FIFA. More like FIFA. And they're also just so corrupt. Like they're so just like, you can buy us. We want to be bought and we want to be bribed. Yeah.

And then you see shit like the FIFA president inventing the FIFA Peace Prize just to give to Trump, just to make this 80-year-old man with dementia smile. Yeah. And it's also like, look, it's kind of tough. I'm like, what am I going to do? Root for Team USA? Yeah, it's not a bad look rooting for Team USA right now. I might be going Iran, actually. I'm already doing that in the war.

Yeah. Do you think you could get President Trump to accept an award that was a trophy that said president of all presidents? Yeah, absolutely. 100%. And then like a week later, you'd be like, I gave you a poop trophy? And it was like made of poop? No, president of all presidents. Oh, I see.

Yeah, he would do it. President of all presidents. But he'd say it's actually, it actually means Pope, which means I'm the real Pope. Yeah. But he would. He would say it's Pope. P-O-O. You'd be like, no, it's poop.

No, it's Pope like soap. He would, he would. Yeah, I guess it is Pope like soap like soap. I think he would accept an award for World's greatest dipshit. Like, he just like likes praise. Like, I don't think it matters to him. But anyway, we will be cheering on the red, white, and blue. Not me.

So my World Cup experience is that, you know, every time a World Cup rolls around, I and my friends. Literally. I hate it. I hate it so much, man. I got to give it to him. You have to admit I'm right. The ball rolls around. Kind of the most of any ball. Basketball don't do that.

Rensh, where are you on the World Cup? You ever check it out at all? Just out of curiosity even? Yeah. I watch it when it comes around. Does Thailand or Taiwan ever have? a presence in the World Cup to your knowledge. They don't make it far.

Got it, got it. I've had a terrible podcast so far. What are you talking about? You're doing great. Pope as P-O-A-P to just not even be able to finish the smallest story. Please finish your thing. We just went on a little tangent there. I don't want to finish shit.

I don't want to garbage. No, go for it. You're rooting for the Viking team, correct? No, no, no. Although that photo was so fucking hard. Norway. I, my friends and I who all lived in Holland together, every time the World Cup rolls around, we all get together, we've got our jerseys, and we watch all the Dutch games. Wow.

And it's a really exciting moment in our life. It's like a, you know, it's a community. Yeah. And it's a reunion. Yeah, it's a reunion every time. Reunion. Reunion. Cloud.

Suck my day. Yeah, let's start making subtext text. They're horny for each other. When Sephiroth talks to him, Cloud makes the faces that a female anime character makes in hentai right before she fucks somebody. An eye gal face? No, that's wild. Okay. If anybody talked to you the way Sephirov talks to anybody,

you'd bust Kate Sith I'm looking at the field this year which I believe has been expanded beyond the previous was it a group of was it 32 was it 24 whatever the fuck now it's like 48 or something

they have more teams just to like whatever make more money and incorporate more countries more territories it does not look like Thailand or Taiwan has a presence nor does it look like Estonia or Guatemala, which would be two teams I'd root for based on

parentage. Although I can I guess root for England. I have some English on my mom's side or I could root for Norway. So I get maybe able to go for one of those. You've been to Japan. You could root for them. Is Japan in it? Japan is in it. Yeah. We got do we got Mexico or Puerto Rico in there?

I do not see Puerto Rico. Probably be with the United States of course. Yeah. I do not see Mexico. I also do not see Puerto Rico. Wow. So I'll go with Japan as well. There you go. You could also do Switzerland. Just be neutral. You could do.

You know what? I'm not trying to defend anybody. I'm going with Switzerland. You could join us cheering up, Poland, and wear some orange. Do I have to? I got my orange socks on? Do I have to eat the peanut butter gravy? Or whatever it is? Matt, can I say something about the peanut butter gravy?

It's really good and you love it. Well, here's the thing. I bet you it's really good. There was no point in which in Japan that I ever was like, ha ha, I tricked you. Every time I was like, this is great, we should try this. Let's go here. This is fun. This is awesome.

It's because I like being a good guy. Yeah. I know that the alley that leads to peanut butter, mayonnaise, and onions looks scary. But I'm telling you at the end of that alley is the most delicious snack. I'm sure I'd like it. I don't trust anybody's taste more than I trust the taste of the people in this room. So I think I would happily try that. Yeah, you get three beers in you.

Hey, sign me up, brother. I will, like, I developed a peanut allergy as I got older, which is a bummer, but that that is a thing I would think I would try out of at least curiosity at some point in my life. And I probably like it, because there's a lot of shit that I've been like, this sounds weird. And then I have is like, I'll talk with this. The one that I haven't really been able to shake my entire life is olives. I don't like the way olive tastes at all. Wow.

Yeah, I don't like it. Huh. I love olive oil. Actually, I've not even come around. I've, all right, Popeye. I've come around on, on pimento olives. Or Pluto. That's the whole, that's the tension of the show.

Suck my dick, Popeye. It would make me stronger. Black olives I loved as a boy, but I could not get into the Pimento olives, the green. olives or I guess a Greek olive and then as I grew older I now I love any olive olives are good they're delicious so fun I was at a restaurant one time and I was presented with an interesting colored aoli and I was like what is this stuff I'll try any sauce I'm tasting it and I'm kind of like damn this shit's kind of good and then I was like oh it's an interesting

flavor I'm not really figured out and then I'm doing like um beautiful mine beautiful mine is like happening around me and I'm realizing that it's like an olive aoli and then I instantly think it tastes like trash and I don't like. Whoa. I was like into it for a second. I was like, what is that? Olive? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Can't do it. Rochelle, where are you in olives? I love any and all olives. Yeah, I'm with you. I'll take all of you got. President of all presidents. Poop. Fuck!

Guys, we've got gifts here from Ranch. Ranch. Has never given us a gift before. Way too generous toward us. Just by virtue of helping the podcast and of itself, but then also like, you know, doing it like, hey, I got you something. And I'm sure it'll be. Can you imagine if listening to us was your job?

I know. Like, I'd put a bullet in my roof of my mouth. Thank you so much. I ordered these a while ago. Okay. got in today. Christmas ornaments. So we have little brown boxes that are

slightly bigger than a Rubik's Cube. I guess maybe like a half a pound cake each maybe. They say Hillary 2016 on it. I don't know how long ago you wanted to eat. Do we all open at the same time so that we, so the reveal happens? I think if you put all three of these in a line together because they're a little bit longer than they are wide.

It feels like a mug. Yeah. It may be a mug, but I think if you put them all together, it would be like the size of one loaf of bread. Okay, yeah. We each have like a third of a loaf of bread in cardboard box form. The classic measurement of loaves. Work for Jesus.

No way. Up, up. You guys, this is the most special mug we could have. Whoa! This is the nicest gift ever, Ranch. Ranch, this is the best. I could get choked up. This is so nice.

you do this. This is not only is it a beautiful mug listeners, we're so astonished that we haven't even said what it is, a beautiful coffee cup that looks in the vein of if you've ever heard of the brand, Hasami porcelain. It's Hasami porcelain. It's Hassami porcelain coated with a rough bottom and a smooth porcelain top. And it says in both Japanese and English, you could take coffee to your You could take coffee to your room, which we saw at the breakfast buffet of a hotel we were staying at when we were over in Tokyo as part of our experience covering the Mario premiere and meeting Hadeo Kojima. And this is what an incredible. This is so nice, ranch. Thank you.

I'm going to, I'm going back to Japan one more time this year, right? Yes. I'm probably going to stay at this hotel. And I'm going to bring this mug and baffle them. I have bespoke For this Point of the sign I'll point at the sign

I'll point at the sign, I'll point at the mug And I'll give them a thumbs up And they will be so confused I think about the sentiment Of you could take coffee to your room So often actually since returning Because I was just in a In like an Airbnb situation

And there was like art hung up in the Airbnb and the signs on it said, do not touch this art. It's so much more abrasive than, hey, you could take coffee to your room. I had my friend who's Japanese find the exact font that was on the sign. That's so amazing. This is like, and I don't know this kanji, the katakana I can kind of sound out. Just Kohi, this is could I ever not attempt to this. Kohi tekua wa to and then whatever that kanji is.

is Kapu. So I guess cup is the loan word. Dan Kohi, the loan word for coffee. I'm surprised that Takeu is like a loan word. What's that kanji? Isn't that room? Yeah,

it might be room, yeah. I love this, Ranch. Thank you so much. Heather just. No, I'm never going to put it down. I don't need the box. I'm holding it forever. I'm putting it in the box so I don't accidentally.

It's the fucking best mug I've. And, Ranch, you know that my coffee routine is extremely specific every morning. I have like a long, very, very deep coffee routine, and I cannot wait to use this tomorrow morning. I can't. I know. I cannot fucking wait.

This guy's going to get a trip through the Breville Bambino. I tell you what. This is incredible. It's incredible. I'm going to assume this is not dishwasher safe. I'm going to treat this with kid gloves. Because this is engraved. You're not messing around here.

This is not some print-to-order thing. There's an actual indentation here. Yeah. This is craftsmanship. Nice sturdy construction to it. This is now the nicest mug I have. Yeah, this is up there. This is a top tier mug.

This is a top tier mug. Ranch, thank you so much. This is so thoughtful. Also, the idea that I'm going to make coffee in the kitchen and then take it to my room with the cup that says you could take coffee to your room. The cup said it's okay. And I'm just going to smile at my wife and she's going to be like, okay, yes. Christ.

That's so fucking cool, man. I can't divine what kanji that is. And I also, it's too small for me to get picked up on any sort of a scan app. But, you know, whatever. Someone will figure it out for us. Yeah. Unbelievable. Wow.

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What was your favorite element of that breakfast? I came to really like that you can get an omelet, omerezu, a made-to-order. I get so excited about that. That's my favorite part too. That's my favorite part. Because omelet bars, you're like, you go to any fucking buffet in Vegas. They got an omelet bar. But the guy's working like eight pans at a time.

Yeah, it's my favorite part at every buffet. They're just turning them out. And these are pros, but they're worried about like speed. They're worried about like, you know, volume. Here, this buffet, this is not a place where they've got like hundreds of guests at a time. It's like, that chef is focused on just your omelet and they are precisely preparing it. so you have this like delicate like restaurant quality entree when you're when it's plated. Yes, that was my favorite.

But an element from one of the other hotels, the first hotel that we stayed at, getting like salad and miso soup at the start of my meal. Oh yeah. Was like, it was heavenly to me. And it's a thing that I crave and I miss now. 100% getting salad greens with my with my breakfast, a lot of fun. And also say just like the bread was fucking. And knock your socks off.

Every bread we had was baked in house. Baked in house. So what the fuck is going on? Every bread. So I'm just so used to you're staying at like a fucking holiday in and you're getting their continental breakfast. And it's just like the shittiest like private select like wheat bread you're having that you're putting into a toaster and smearing some like rock hard butter onto it.

And like that's your approximation of a breakfast. Versus here you've got this lovely. curated a collection of of pastries. And then the egg too, the egg, a little wetter than you would assume. Right. Because it's like a

here they're like, this thing's got to be cooked all the way. You've got to torch the eggs here. Turch these things. This is like kind of like, hey, it's scrambled but it's a little wet. I hope that's all right. And you're kind of like, absolutely it's okay. Right, because we're using, we actually have food safety standards. We don't just have to heat everything to kill all the fecal bacteria and ecoli that's

inherent to it because all of our animals are raised in misery. Yeah. And then also the, it's, it's, we're actually using eggs. That's the other thing. Because so often you'll go to like a, again, a high volume buffet of some kind in America and they're using like an egg from a powder or like a liquid, liquefied egg mixture that is basically like pancake batter. This has brought me over the edge.

I will be supporting Japan in the global dish. Wow. Good luck to Japan in the global dish. Yeah, I mean, that... Earth mug. Earth mug. You could take coffee to your room. Words to live by.

I'm going to put it on my fucking tombstone. Some other words that could go on a tombstone, a fitting epitaph for any of us, and honestly, for any gamer out there. The question for the room, what are you playing? Who are you, Brian, hires me to Resident Evil Merchant? I'm going straight to mat up on. Donka, what are you playing?

Whoa. Not wasting any time. Not wasting any time at all. You got somewhere to be? Yep. Where are you going? The bar. Oh.

Oh, you're going to watch the global dish, aren't you? I'm going to watch the game. Oh, I didn't know you're a sport. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dominate the rim if you're talking about like basketball. No, no, no, no. No? No.

No. You're not talking about watching, watching the NBA finals or watching soccer, watching the World Cup. I'm embarrassed to admit I am a bit clumsy. You are. I could see you being a bit clumsy. Yeah, you're kind of like, I, I may say this with affection, a big galute. My body is larger than I expected to be.

Yeah, right. And we all. I'm constantly punching a door when I'm reaching for the doorknob because my arm is so much longer than I thought. You haven't quite reckoned with your side. Absolutely not. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, that's tough.

But so mad up a dog, what are you playing? Okay, well, I'll tell you. Because I, you know, one of my nicknames, Mr. Games, the Xbox Kid. Yeah. The artist formerly known as an Xbox kid. The franchise. The franchise. But one of them, very important, maybe one of the first nicknames, the finisher.

Wow. Let's go. The finisher. And, you know, I mentioned last week that I had been sinking a lot more time into Pocopia. and I'm happy to say that I rolled credits on Pocopia. Wow. And even though... Beautiful.

Even though I knew the destination of what was going to be happening, I won't spoil again in case for some reason that was missed. But Heather detailed the end game of that of Pocopia. I still got a little choked up. Yeah, man. It's such an affecting... Yeah. Sometimes that can happen.

An affecting story. And just like the act of like of playing the game and doing the, like the tasks and fulfilling the requests of some of the Pokemon that you maybe don't even necessarily have ever had thought about before. You just become so attached to to them and your mission, your grand mission of this game. Yep. And now I'm in the post game. And of course, there was a Nintendo direct.

Yesterday as of record, last week as of release, that then announced that there's going to be, there's an expansion pass for Pocopia that is including an underwater area. And then in the future, an additional other area. Two other area. Three total areas. Which is insane. It's a lot.

It's a lot. So there's a lot to look forward to in that. But, I mean, I just was like, something, something has happened Talk to me about what's happened, Matt, because we've lightly touched on this. Yeah, we like, look, I love Pokemon. I love Pokemon

for 30 years. Yeah. You've even got, I believe, some new ink. Yeah, we're going to disclose this, I'm not sure. I have a new tattoo. I got a tattoo of Charzard based off of his Gen 1 sprites

from, you know, from Pokemon red and blue. And 10-1 Sprites, that's the one made with cane sugar. Back before they cheaped out and switched to high-froredose corn too. Yeah, they had to. It was with a pool top. Yeah, right, right, right, right, remember, yeah. Never mind.

Keep going. No, do yours. No, I didn't have one. No, Heather, do yours. I didn't have one. Heather, no, you were so excited to do yours. You started to say something. I was not excited.

You said, do you guys? I couldn't. Do we have more than one joke? I was just trying to deconstruct why you were laughing Because you You said it Yeah And then you were laughing

Yeah, I liked it a lot Yeah I also like it Laughing because I thought it was funny Laughter is typically a surprise Like it's a reaction to a surprise Right It's a it's a

So what were you surprised at? Was it you were surprised that you were surprised that you got to away with it? I guess I was surprised by how delighted I was. Oh, okay. Great. I do think I have the capacity to surprise myself because I do think sometimes my mouth moved faster than my brain.

Of course, of course. So when you can pull something off like that and a good piece of business like that, I'm going to be like, I'm laughing. Okay. Okay. Without stumbling or making any mistake? Yeah. I think there's also, there is an impish element of I got away with that.

That's what it feels like. I think you're right. That's what it feels like. But also like Matt liking it and Ranch doing her job in fake laughing is like that like gives me a little bit of a boost as well. Yeah, exactly. I was laughing at you laughing. But I got this tattoo at a local shop that I've gotten most of my tattoos from super sweet tattoo here in Los Angeles. So we got my Papa Power tattoo.

Yes, and my pal Emma did it for me. And I love it so much just a cute little guy. Yeah. It's a cute little guy. Somebody did misidentify him as a dragon eye in the wild the other day, and it was tough. It was a little bit tough. Do you have a similar look? Absolutely.

Here's what I'll say about it, because it's based on the Sprite. Yes. But it does not have the pixel art. Like, this is like what you see when you look at the Sprite, not like a literal, like, translation of the bitmap of the pixels. Exactly. And I just think he's really cute. I look at him every day. He's peeling right now, so he looks a little nasty.

And it's full color. Full color. We're really, really bold. I think it's, I think it's rad. Dragonite has different shaped wings. Drag night has different shaped wings. No fire has a different face. Is what I would say rounder.

Yeah. He's rounder. He's round in this, but Dragon Knight is rounder. But yes, so now I have a Pokemon committed to my body. Wait, that's your first pokey tattoo? Yes. Wow. Yeah, I know.

This was a question I had to ask, answered by my wife. So, do you think you're going to get more Pokemon? And the answer is, possibly. I think they're fun. They're fun to get. Yeah, they're good guys. And you were saying that your relationship to Pokemon post-Pocopia. Yes.

I've just been thinking about them so much. Right. I guess I wish they were real. Yeah. Don't we all. But I was out the other day and they had Pokemon on the TV. And I was like, oh, look, it's an episode of the show that I haven't seen because it's gone on long. past, you know, my watching of it.

It was from the Pokemon X, Y era from the, I think, 3DS, first entry on the 3DS. And I was just watching it. I was like, I don't know what's going on. And this seems weird. But I, you know, I've been looking at clothing. I was bummed out that I'd missed out on the Puma collab. Because I did get, I had it set up, and I was like,

on the day was like, I'm gonna buy some of these and was like, I don't know if I need a pair of yellow shoes. Right. And now you can't get them, and I want them more than anything. Right. But yeah, I've just been thinking about them a lot, and I was like looking at, I want to like maybe get back into the cards, which seems like impossible.

But it is just a lot of like the, I just, I've been thinking about them and I want to be doing more things with Pokemon right now, and I can't wait to, you know, eventually see what that looks like. Now, it is before. we recorded, yes, that I have a new nickname for you.

Yes. The finish of the franchise, the artist former you know is the Xbox kid, Mr. Games, as Heather brings out

her troubish coin purse. Yeah, I was saying, I felt the same feeling as you where I can't, and again, I've played

Pokemon my whole life. Yeah. Certainly played Pokemon enough that when Trubbush showed up, I was like, oh,

finally I found my guy. Yeah. And something about Pocopia, deepens or changes your relationship with what seem to be like those guys are on a screen have suddenly become my guys that I have to take care of. Yes.

Does that make sense? And you know what it is though too? The simple choice, and I want to hear this nickname, the simple choice of making them all pleasant. Oh yeah. And not making some of them like, oh, this one has a bad attitude. They're all like, what's up, yo, how you doing, yo?

Like, they're all just like so, like, chill and nice. That goes such a long way that they're all benevolent beings to me. And I love them all so much. Some of them have attitudes, but the attitude is never mean. It's not at you really either. It's usually like, you know, did I scare you? I'm a ghost. You should be scared, but you're not scared because you're like a little, oh, you're a ditto.

You got me. So even milder than like, you know, and a more abrasive animal crossing character. Yes. Some of the animal crossing characters are fucking asshole. Quilson? I would kill him with a gun. I fucking hate him. You'd not get along well with Quilson.

No. Well documented on the show. Oh, yeah. Heather has, you said that you have basically every official piece of troubish merch because there's not that much of it. Yeah, there's not a ton of it. Oh, no, yeah, this is great. And it's got actual coins in it, we should say.

There's some real have to. I'm not sure people are picking that up. It's all my Japanese coins left over from my last trip. Nice. Because I don't have any American change. Who does these days? We'll be right back. But I, uh, I, there are, there's, there's, uh, there's like a big troubush plush.

There's a couple of, uh, there's a troubish, put like a little guy. Yeah. There are a couple things where he'll show up in like a vignette. And I don't count that. I'm talking about like exclusively troubish good. Yeah. There is the troubish garbage can, which is sitting on my desk, the Trubbish coin purse, and the charms. Because every Pokemon gets a charm, you know?

There's like a wall. Remember the Pokemon Center and it's like you look through like a hundred little like, you know, dime size charms. So I've got the Trubbish charm. That's it. I'm done. Yeah. There isn't a lot of like, I don't have to worry about, you know,

Hawaii Trubbish coming out because they're not going to do it to my boy. I was looking at a list of all the Pokemon the other day. Yeah. Because I was like, you have such a special relationship with Trubbish. I was like, the ones that I really love, obviously Charzart,

Charzart's like basically one of the mascots, right? Like he's on all, like he's, if there's a piece of Pokemon art, he's on it. I was like, who are my other guys? Who are my team? And here's the thing.

I was looking at a lot of them. I was like, I love all these guys. They're all really good. There is like a point past the, like, diamond and pearl lineups, or I start to be like, design-wise, we've lost the plot a little bit. Like, not even just like, well, of course, Trubbish is really good. And I'm not talking about Trubbish. You don't have to cover his ears.

I'm not talking about him. But like Clefke, the keys. I don't even dislike the design. Klefke is funny, though. It is funny. Let me take a look at Kleffey. Do you know Trubbish is technically a cat? No, I didn't know that.

That's fun. Oh, it's Clefky. I'm sorry. So on, on, there's like a, there's like a Pokemon mural of all the cats, right? Like the, like an official piece of art. Yeah. And while it's possible that Trubbush got on the, because Trubbisch also will show up in places he shouldn't be.

Yeah. Like he shows up in like, like if there's like a card of the penguin, uh, Emporio or whatever the fuck his name is, sometimes they'll Trubbish will just be in the water. I love that. Um, but on this big official piece of art of all the cat Pokemon, Trubbish is also on the image. So the question or rumor is that Trubbish is a cat. I, I, I'm a big fan of that. I think somebody pointed out.

The design, like the design change, it's as simple as the first few gens, the, the, the, the Pokemon, their eyes were triangle shaped. Yeah. And now they're around. Yes. And that makes such a big difference in just their overall look and vibe. Yep. And I don't, I don't disagree with this take, but also like older ones now have now adopted the newer style. Everybody's sort of, there is a more cohesive design language.

but Wager has pulled up clef key. Clef key, yes. My main issue with clef key is one of the keys is the Pokemon. The other keys on the on the Pokemon are real keys. That one's a key? The one in the middle is a key? Yes. And I'm sort of like, I think about Execute.

Yeah. Who is a great one. Yep. Execute is always six eggs. It's never just one egg. It is always six eggs. six eggs that operate as a hive mind. Yes.

Which is weird. But. Well, there's also, Combi is the same way. Yes, exactly. It's like a hive mind B Pokemon. The other keys

could be keys. Could be keys. Could be keys. You're right. You're right. You know what, Matt? I like and defend Klefki because he's the same, I believe he's the same Jen as Trebish. We should look that up because

boy, oh boy, I would be blown away by just verifying whether or not that was true from my own memory. But you're totally right that Clefkech could be multiple Pokemon operating. It should all be different keys. Yeah, that's brilliant. Does Clefkeke, it looks like it's just Kurefi

in Japanese, does Clefkeke have an evolution? That I don't know. Because honestly, the thing is, I end up sticking with a lot of the same ones. You always end up picking the, I always stay with the starter, that whatever star you pick is in my party until the bitter end, right? But then they include so many of the original Pokemon

in the later games that I end up kind of gravitating toward the ones I already like and my parties end up kind of being mostly the same except for maybe the starter. So that's the, I mean, that's sort of, I think, also another flaw of the games is that if they're going to do new ones,

kind of do Pokemon Black situation do only new ones the Pokemon that I have the biggest like I'm on the fence about is I think her name its name is Meow Scurata

is that it's like a human-sized cat Pokemon with a mask and what I what I find sort of upsetting about it

is that like Pikachu like ride on Ash's shoulder and like cuddle with him or like get mad on his shoulder, right? Yeah. But like, miascarata

is like holding hands with her trainer and like putting her arms around her trainer because she's human-sized. Yeah. And she's human proportioned. A lot of the, a lot of the newer starters have gone from

quadrupedal to bipedal. And it doesn't seem right. It seems strange to me. It doesn't seem right. Why you've got his new home screen. Yeah, I'm looking at Meow Scarada right now and a meow is right. I might have my guy.

Because I'm looking for a, I'm looking for a guy. And, you know, the ones I was pitching because like, yeah, like it trubbish is like a deeper cut and I get that and I appreciate that and it feels very specific to either because I was like, well, you know, as someone who, the least Pokemon exposure of the three of us and also a lot of my

Pokemon experience comes from Smash Brothers. Yeah. So like, I'm like, well, like, jigglypuff. Jigglypuff was my main and, you know, in melee. Like I'll, but I guess jigglypuff is too mainstream. I think you could have jigglypuff be your favorite. Yeah, but I'm also like, and then I was like Del Fox and then you're like, ah, Del Fox is a starter kind of, it's like, okay, all right.

I also have a Charzard tattoo, so what do I know? Like, Charzard's like, you know. I get it, but I'm just like, if I could come up with a, with a, a poll that's a little bit more obscure, that feels a little bit more personal to me that if I can find some, some merch like Heather did of what the Trubbish coin purse, I'd be kind of like, holy shit, what a, what a discovery. It's so weird also because Trubbish has been my guy since Trubbish was announced.

Yeah, wow. I saw the art and I was like, I'm in love with this Pokemon. And that's been a while now. I think that's like 15, maybe 20 years even. Yeah. And so to hear that Trubbich is a deep cut is strange to me. Sure. Because at this point, it's just been, oh, Trubbish is one of the guys.

Yeah. And he is also, or she, it is also pretty predominantly featured in Pocopia. So I was like, oh, of course Trubbish is here. Yeah. But I guess there's a thousand Pokemon now, so... Hard to know who's being represented as, like, one of the guys

because, like, I don't know what they're doing on the show. Maybe Trubbish has a... Or, you know, maybe Trubbish has a presence on the show that I'm not aware. Mud Kip was not in Pocopia. Mud Kip. Mud Kip.

Oh, I love Mud Kip. A major... A major Pokemon that was memetic for a long time. Yes. I heard you like Mud Kipps. Yeah. And the fact is, I do.

I do like Mud Kip. Wow. But I'm surprised that Mud Kip is only coming to the DLC. He was in the DLC trailer. You know what I'm thinking about? Magnamite. I kind of like Magnamite's fucking great. Magnamite's great.

That could be an episode someday just name Pokemon we like. Magnumite. Do we like this guy? Yeah, we like this guy. I saw a great video of Magnamite TikTok. And it's like all of these. It's like not the Seven Wonders of the World, but kind of adjacent to that. And it's somebody with a magnamite, like, plush.

And the camera will be facing the, like, Eiffel Tower. And then Magnumite will look back towards the camera, like, you're seeing this? Yeah. And it's just like a montage of that magnamite plush at a bunch of different, like, beautiful things. I think having a magnumite plush would be really fun. Yeah, it's great. I like that. It's a really cute one.

When I was last at Pokemon Center a few weeks ago, I was holding the magnamite plush, thinking of that video and being like, do I get this guy? Yeah. But then I didn't. Miao Scurata, thank you for introducing me to them. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I still think Del Fox is hotter, but, you know, apparently can't.

Yeah, fire type. I guess we-that's what I meant, wink. I guess we've talked about a game enough. Yes. I think it's Nick. What are you playing? Wait, I didn't get what to get to the nickname. Oh, yeah, yes.

Oh, yeah. Matt. The nickname from Nick. Who better to give one? A nickname. Your new nickname, Matt, I'm proposing, as an inked-up Apodaca, Matu.

Portmanteau of Matt and Tattoo. That's pretty good. Mattoo. Mattoo. Matt-to. Kind of sounds like maybe like the French pronunciation of Matthew. Yeah, sure. Matto.

Matthew. Matthew? Matthew. Um I said you know It's on the table I'm not saying you have to You have to accept every pitch

But I but I certainly I mean here's the thing I have thus far Matu Mat too Maybe I could say that I'm from Battoe The Desert Planet of Batto

Yeah Is Batto a desert planet I don't know the lore I guess I don't know what if it Yeah it is Is it right That's where raised from right Raised from the Desert Planet of Battoo

raised from Jacu. All right. Batu is... Batu is the planet from the Star Wars Land in fucking Disneyland. It's the fictional planet

or I guess it's a canonical planet. This is a poop situation. That's made out. Yeah, it's a poop pop situation. I don't want to be from Batu actually. Yeah, you don't want to be from Batu. But you can be Matt too.

I can be Matt too. Yeah. Hope you aren't. Me too. I hope so too. I think me more than anybody. We'll stick with Matt, too. Heather, you ask me, what do you plan?

And before we go any further, what are these incredible kicks you have on? They're great. Oh, thanks. What are those affectionately? Yeah. These are LeBron's. They are, but they are not basketball shoes. They are, like, cross-training shoes.

I'm not sure if these are showing on camera. They look awesome. They give off a real aquatic ambience. Yeah, I like the vibe. I like the color way. They're kind of like a, you know, got turquoise elements, a light blue. sort of baby blue, and it's got like this kind of cushy texture, which I find very aesthetically appealing.

I will say, and I read this in the reviews, it's got like kind of an odd shape to it, so it's not super comfortable for walking. So it's more of a style purchase for me. Like as trainers, I'm not sure how I would actually train in these. But again, I'm just wearing them for looks. So thank you. It's good. You often will have a bolder color shoe, and then that sort of then retroactively makes me

more upset that I didn't get the Pokemon Pumas. Because those were crazy looking. You can always fix that. If the Pokemon Pumas had been slow poker side duck, I would have leaned in. Yeah. But there's going to be Adidas I heard.

Oh. So I'd wish listed a game on the Steam store and was waiting for it to go on sale. And it did. And I purchased it. And I played it. That game is Titanium Court. Oh.

So Titanium Core is an indie game that came out this year and is genuinely one of the weirder games I've ever played. It absolutely could work in our worst and weirdest format if we wanted to put it on how this get played. It's a bizarre video game intentionally. Like that's what it's going for. Is a genre mashup that's part match three game, part auto battler, part visual novel, meaning there's a ton of story and reading in this game. There is like this emergent world that develops that you're kind of just thrown in or like what the hell is going on here and your, you're disorrivalued. oriented, you're unmoored, and then you gradually get more context as you go.

But as far in as I am to the game, I still don't know what the hell is going on. Okay. It's both high fantasy and low fantasy, like you were established as the queen of a fairy kingdom, but also you have an apartment that has a shower in it. And like, because it's got this auto-battelor element where you're just like, you know, you've got enemy fortresses or various, you know, like hubs that that, spawn enemies that you're sending out attackers to destroy. If you do destroy one of those successfully, you will get this anachronistic, like,

random graphic that's like a basketball being dunked. That's just like, okay, this has nothing to do with fantasy at all. This is so clearly ensconced in our world. It's just, it's really disorienting, but intentionally so. I really like the cosmetic elements, and it shows how far those elements can carry a game because, you know, it's fundamentally just a match three game. And that's a, that's a, it's a puzzle shub genre that's been, been mined endlessly. That's some very, very huge mainstream games like Candy Crush or that.

So, you know, what, what, what, what, were you bringing to the table gameplay-wise? I guess it's just like, again, that it has all these different genres working together, primarily the visual novel, which is the thing that is, if that element wasn't present, of this didn't have the strong writing and story that it has, I really wouldn't be engaged with it. But also visually, I guess I can step back towards PC graphics standards of yesteryear. And the first color graphics that was kind of established widely for PCs was CGA, which was a four color standard. A lot of those were like really bold like turquoises and pinks, which is kind of what some of these graphics live in. But then afterwards they had EGA, which was a 16 color standard, which was a huge upgrade.

And then VGA was ultimately a 256 color standard, which came close to photorealism, but nowhere. You know, it's still like there were times when you could see the dithering or the visual artifacts that are present from just not having quite enough colors to represent reality. Anyway, this kind of lives in an EGA aesthetic. And I do like that. I do like that it's got like this pixely sort of, sort of chunky sort of look to it. And then also like you'll see a wine glass being filled up or something like that. It's like a really simple animation.

And it's a limited number of colors that fit with the colors of the tiles that are on screen. And it looks like it's maybe the game-wise total. I looked up in how long to beat. And it doesn't quite have enough to get an, authority advance or enough entries, but it looks like it's maybe a 15-hour runtime. And I was like, I don't know if I'm engaged enough with it yet to want to see it through the end, but I also have so much curiosity in terms of where this thing's going. I will say when I initially started playing it, I thought it was going to be more like a frog

fractions, which like the kind of thing we covered on the podcast before where it's like, you know what, this is just going to keep perpetually shifting. Every whatever, every half hour of gameplay, it's like suddenly a brand new game. and we're just doing something completely different. I thought there's going to be more of that. That's not really the case. It is, though, like, funny just into its absurdity. Because, like, there's just things of, like, okay, so I was just, you know, spawning a bunch of, you know, like, loggers to try and mine resources in this, you know, match three auto battler because that's how you get the resources to connect to construct other.

a units and buildings and upgrades and so forth. I was just doing that and then they won this battle. And then now I'm just like in a town walking around chasing a cat. And it's just like, it's just a really, really strange experience. Heather has some screenshots up here where it would have to kind of displaying how this thing looks. Anyway,

I guess what I'll say overall is like the vibes are great. Vibes are impeccable. The story and writing are very strong, as I mentioned earlier. I do think it's funny. and I do love how it looks. I guess I'm not in love with the core gameplay because it's just something that's been so thoroughly mined,

even though it's got like this absurdist sensibility, this sort of dot-eyist sort of, you know, some of the units are things like arsonists and insurance salesmen alongside like, you know, just farmers and soldiers, like the kind of things you'd see in a conventional sort of tactical game. And so it's just like it's meant it's meant to have all these different disparate elements that are coexisting and that's kind of the fun of it. I just am like would I rather just watch a video summing up how what happens in this game story wise as opposed to actually playing I don't know.

I will say if you're curious about it at all like it is on sale at least as of this recording and also I think it's a sort of thing where if it appeared on Game Pass or something like that like I would absolutely recommend if you're interested in this type of game to just fuck around with it a little bit. But because it does seem like it's one of the more under the radar indie releases of the year. But yeah, titanium court. That's what I've been playing. Do you think maybe you've been spoiled from other match three games because of your fandom of Honey Pop's one and two? Look, Honey Pop double, and Honey Pop double date do have great mechanical advances in match three game play. That it's just like there's, and there's things that this game does do. Like there's times where like, hey, this tile is a shop.

And so you have to be careful not to a match with this tile. because if the shop goes away, then you won't be able to patronize the shop at the next round. So like, there's certain things like you want to keep on the board and you might be like, well, shit, I want to destroy these three tiles,

but that is going to create a cascade effect that leads to this tile being destroyed as well. And that's a problem or matched as well. But then there's also things like certain units, certain enemy units can't cross, you know, like waterways or hills. Like projectiles can't cross, can't pass hills. So depending on what if you're like phicing trebouches or something like that, you might want to surround your base, your fortress, which you don't want to have destroyed or else that's a failure of this round with hills and rivers.

But like you have to position those tiles. And then once you position those titles correctly, you have to be careful about what other tiles you're going to match because the consequences could be that all that hard work could be for not. So yeah, it's got some elements there. But Honeypop, yeah, just the fact that you can move tiles from anywhere all the way across the screen to match, it just adds a new dimension of the gameplay. Got it. Yeah. Not to mention the pornography. This game, Titanium Court broke containment and was on my radar for a while back when it was announced or back when it came out because there were a lot of people being like, I can't believe where this game goes.

So I hope you stick with it. Yeah, maybe I'll play more of it. Yeah. I know, I still got me to the hollower. I want to just, I get to tend to, which is just so, so compelling. But I want to dip into something else, and I'm glad I did. Hey, buddy, I'm a pretty restless sleeper and has been my goal to create a peaceful nighttime routine for deeper, smoother sleep. So I'm not waking up in the middle of the night, bothering my wife as I toss and turn.

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B-A-B-B-B-B-E-L-L-com slash played for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions. may apply. Today's episode of Getplayed is brought to you by Coveron. Have you ever been scammed, cybercrimed? What if you never got scammed again? What have you had a service that protected you from cybercrimes? Well, it's going to be okay because CoverOn catches your problems early before they turn into damage.

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Wait, Heather, you didn't say what you were playing. I don't know if you want to talk about that at all. I talked about Pokemon enough. I don't need to talk anymore. I feel like the broad view is I continue to play Pocopia. I'm building a full bar district with, I think it's got, let's see, one, two, three, four. It's got 12 bars in it, narrow hallways, narrow alleyways, lots of neon. I'm building an entire bar district

a la Nakano's near Nakano Broadway, Nakano area or Golden Guy in Japan. My city, which I thought was going to be Dutch-themed, has just become stuff I like. So I've got a Dutch town. I've got a full convenience store. I have a Chicago apartment. And now I'm building a full bar district.

There's also Hot Springs and both a rural Japanese farmhouse and an abandoned Japanese farmhouse where all the plant Pokemon live. Wow. But I feel like we got to talk about this Nintendo Direct. Yeah, still fresh in the mind as of this recording. And I think people will still be talking about it and thinking about it next week because there are a lot of consequence was announced.

Yeah. I mean, man, it seemed like a lot of catnip for you, a cat enthusiast. Meow is right. Yeah, I mean, look, we basically got our second look at Kingdom Hearts 4. That was not completely dissimilar from our first look, but there was more stuff like gameplay, which looked fucking awesome. Wow. And they are saying that it's coming date and day to switch to as well as all other consoles when it comes out. No release date.

There's apparently been a leak. about the release date, which is that the copy for Kingdom Hearts collection for the switch says, you know, play through the original Kingdom Hearts 1, 2, and 3 before Kingdom Hearts 4 arrives in 2027 is on the official copy for the collection. Yeah, I...

Wow. For some reason, don't believe it. I don't buy it for a fucking second. I don't believe it. But I am excited about it. I'm excited that the... that the Kingdom Hearts games are being properly ported to Nintendo Switch hardware. Previously, they were only cloud versions.

So I'll happily get those for Switch 2 so I can look at them, I guess. And it didn't probably replay. I mean, I still have not finished Kingdom Hearts 3. I think I need to make a proper, I have to finish it before 4 comes out. Of course. Once I get a release date, I'll get out of taking the high gear. You won't know about how the reverse darkness was imported into the light. Yeah.

And thus unlocked the key of attrition. And Zanort was able to twist that attrition into two. Yeah. Something with the Master of Masters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't play Kingdom Hearts 4 and be confused at all. So I have to play three. I read a post about Kingdom Hearts 4, which was like,

it's extremely millennial-coded and also locked in a specific era of time because games now are not earnest in the way that Kingdom Hearts was. And now there is so much lore that to go back and try and play Kingdom Hearts 1 in order to like prep for Kingdom Hearts 4 if you aren't a fan of the series

would be so like jarring and brittle and experience. Yeah. So it's only for people who have been along for the ride the whole time. So that's like really, I mean, it's just like honestly, just truly very exciting to me. Another reason to have the Kingdom Hearts games on yet another platform. Very exciting. I was excited by a lot of the third party ports.

I know not a lot of people were. Before we move off, Kingdom Hearts, I do have something to add. Yeah. Which is that for people who love Final Fantasy 15, there is this undercurrent of longing for a game that was never released. which is Final Fantasy versus 13. The original trailer for which was entirely different relationships and costumes for main characters who would then become transformed,

some of them renamed and re-characterized. But Tetsu Nomura was developing a game that looked like it took place pretty extensively in a city environment. Starring Noctis who would like throw his key blade around and like fight these goons. Now, elements of that game seem to have been hidden in plain sight in this Kingdom Four trailer or Kingdom Hearts Four trailer, including there are airships in the original versus

13 trailer that do not appear in Final Fantasy 15 as it was like reconfigured and modified. Those airships are in the background of a scene where Sora is fighting in a city. Sora is also using the key blade to essentially blade dash, like throwing the blade with a long chain and then pulling himself to where the blade is to basically mimic Noctus attack. There are also three main new characters showcased in the trailer wearing outfits that are extremely reminiscent of outfits worn in the versus 13 trailer. So it feels like Tetsu Nomura is giving the middle finger to his own employer and being like, you took it away from me. I'm still going to make it. And I'm going to use the

construct of Kingdom Hearts 4 to be able to tell the story that I wanted to tell originally. I was just scrolling through a list of every announcement just to refresh my memory. And yeah, as was mentioned, a lot of ports are coming. And which is, I don't know. I mean, whatever. If it's, this is your primary platform as, you know, a lot, I'd say probably most casual gamers are, you know, one console households, one platform household. It's like, hey, you get to play, it seems like full-fledged versions of games like metaphor refantazio that you might have missed another hardware. So it's nice that I mean, I think it's a net good that it has the power and the install base to support all these games. But I think the big thing is like things like orbitals, which is a switch to exclusive, which has an incredible look to it.

I've pre-ordered orbitals. Orbitals looks awesome. Orbles looks amazing. And speaking of games that look awesome. Final Fantasy, it's not reunion. What's the subtitle? Final Fantasy. Resonance or something.

Resonance or something. Resonance there is. Yeah. That looks rad. And that just is like an HD-2D style. And I mean, like, I think like we're all, we were all waiting for a new version of that. This is like an actual, looks like a new Final Fantasy, right? Now like like a remake or reissue is the other HD remakes.

I believe there have been 18 Square Enix games announced for Switch 2 Yeah, that's a lot They're busy It's quite a few But I mean like You know Locker of Teen Inter of Time remake

Seems like a huge one It's obviously a huge one It's obviously like the headline that came out of this I don't know how jazzed I am for it I think it's I guess it's like It makes sense that they're making it And I guess it'll like Why not have it on modern hardware?

I've still never finished it I think I got about like halfway through. Same. So like kind of a no brain. Like I'll of course play it on modern hardware. I'm shocked that they ended that presentation with Link sleeping and then the year 26. So that means it's coming out this year.

Yeah. I kind of feel like Nintendo doesn't really, well, unless it's Metroid Prime 4. But they don't usually do that. They don't do that to Zelda. Right. Yeah, right. And I mean, Star Fox, another one that's getting a quick launch. And I think they also just had so much success with Donkey Kong Bonanza.

Yeah. Oh, banana. That I think it was like, I think they're maybe just following that model because it's like, whatever, it's easier to avoid links. And then we don't have to deal with the expectations of people being disappointed that these think games are getting delayed. Grand Theft Auto 6, if it's not the greatest fucking game of all time, it's now been overhyped so much that most of the response is going to be disappointment. Whereas like if you if you announce Ocreen of Time is coming to the Switch 2 and it's coming in the next six months

there's not an enormous hype cycle that can build for the game and thus it's just like take the game on its own merit Also these old games Like when you think back to like the 8 bit era Or the 16 bit era There wasn't this lengthy preamble To a game's release

You might be like Oh I heard about this game that was released in Japan It looks really cool Or you'd know Hey there's gonna be a new Mario But beyond that, it wasn't this like aggressive PR push over years as footage is leaked and leaked and then trickled out. Like Kingdom Hearts 4 we've known about since Kingdom Hearts 3 ended on like a to be continued or whatever. And I don't know.

I kind of like the Nintendo version of stuff the way they're releasing these games. Yeah, sure. I think go, I mean, like, whatever. I don't need to be thinking about this thing endlessly for years on end. to like, just like, yeah, this thing's going to come out. Okay, great. I'll, hey, I can anticipate it for a few months and be excited or disappoint. I'd be happier or disappointed once it comes out.

Yeah, I, look, I'm just excited that they heard us and have decided to save the Nintendo Switch to. I'm so happy. Thank you for saving the Nintendo Switch too. Yeah, they did it. They fixed it because of us. Weirdly a port that, I'm not going to play it on this, but because they ported it over, I'm kind of interested in Lise of P now for some.

Like I'm sort of thinking about Like maybe I'll play Lise of P I just want to sail on Steam Everybody says it's good Yep People love Liza P People say it's good But I'm just excited

That there's going to be Some new games Coming to the Switch 2 I'm surprised there's not a major Pokemon release for the 30th anniversary Well they did put out Fire Red and Leaf Green Yeah but like

It feels like a mainline Pokemon game Should be coming out For the 30th Yeah well Well, whatever. I just want to say, I have finished Ocure of Time. I didn't weigh in earlier when you both said you hadn't finished. I have finished Ocary of Time.

Yeah, I finished it when it came out. Do you think it's as good as everybody says? Multiple times. I actually think Ocarine of Time is an incredible achievement for its era and did a fantastic job of translating the Zelda formula into 3D. And obviously was, you know, along with the early Elder Scrolls game, such a progenitor of the modern approach towards, you know, a AAA, like, open world sort of structure. But it's, it does feel, especially if you return to it, like the world is a little bit cozy.

Like, it's not as expansive as it as, like, like, you maybe like, like, remember the map to have been. There's some awesome stuff. Like, I think Garido Valley is great. I think, like, you know, it's overall, like a triumph, obviously. But I, like, as far as Zelda's go, like, yeah. I like a link to the past more. I like Breath of the Wild more.

You know, I don't know. I don't think that's crazy to say. No, I don't think so. But it's a, I certainly like Windwaker more. That maybe is a little bit more heretical. But I don't know. But I think it's really impressive for something that they did in 64 hardware. Is that a good enough answer?

Yeah, that's a great answer. I'll accept it. I like Majora's Mask better than an Ocarina of Time. I've heard this. I've always liked that. I've heard that take from Nick specifically. Hey, Major's a great game. Guys, should we talk about the topic?

Let's talk about football games, proper football games, aka soccer games. Goal. I'm glad somebody said it. Are you ready for some soccer? Remember that Simpson's bit? It's good. Barbecue sauce. World Cup 2026, the global dish is in full swing.

and I mean like where does everyone stand on because we were talking about World Cup specifically but where does everyone stand on on proper football fandom knowledge I would say like I'm clearly the biggest sport oh here but I barely have a passing knowledge of of football like I've I've been to an uh what's what's the what's the LA club and MLS LAS I've been to an LASC I've been to an LASC game that was a lot of fun and and and hey I like their fandom seems really cool. I've been at bars while IFC games have been going on and there's like a lot of fans here in Los Angeles who are like super

duper into it. Obviously a lot of fans of Mexico here and and you know like so like it's I like the culture of the sport. I just never really got into it. I'm more of a basketball guy. I played soccer when I was a little kid I think

just as an excuse to like you know my parents put me and my brother in soccer so we could run around and be tired. Right. Great for that. Yeah. Great for tiring out a kid. Yeah.

And he would wear my ass out. I remember not liking wearing shin guards. I remember being, I thought those were uncomfortable. Oh, shin guards. I didn't think about that. I love shin guards. Great. Kick the shit out of each other.

Michelle, you ever worn shin guards? Yeah, fun fact, I used to be the captain of my, this varsity soccer team in high school. Whoa. We'll return to that. I want some more clarity there. But go on, Matt. I mean, I just, I played it as a boy, but had not ever really been to a live soccer match until a couple years ago. My friends, my friends like L.A. Galaxy, which I don't think is popular.

That's the, yeah, that's the OG club that was out here. And then they added L.A.F.C. So, L.A. Galaxy plays in the excerpts. It plays down in Carson, California, a bit removed from the city limits of Los Angeles, whereas L.A.F.C.'s stadiums is located right in downtown. You can get off the train and walk to the stadium, which I've done before.

And let me tell you something. When your friends are like, hey, we're going to go to a soccer game, do you want to come and you say yes, you're really hoping it's the one that's closer to you and not the furthest place away. Carson, on the other end of the end of the map, basically.

Let me drive 90 minutes to this. We were at the game shorter than it took us to get there and come home. That sucks. Terrible. It was awful. Because, like, and also, that's kind of the best part of soccer games, I think, or proper footy matches, as a hooligan might call it,

they're 90 minutes long. 90 minutes long. You know when it's going to be over. But they are early. If you're watching them here, you have to get up kind of early a lot of the time. But I think the culture of it is really fun. I like that it's a global sport.

Yeah, I like that too. And, God, I got to say, I like the ball. I like the ball. Look, I like that this is what's fun about. about both basketball and baseball, you know, the top, and the top leagues are in the States, which is great. It's not obviously the case with soccer or proper football. But like, but like those sports have baseball basketball global player bases. And the best players, in fact, in Major League Baseball and in the NBA these days are foreign-born. And that's like really

cool, actually. Like I think that's like, I'm not saying that from a, I think some people from a jingoistic perspective or kind of like like USA USA we want but we need our guy but I don't know I think it's kind of cool that Victor Wembenyama and then show Hey Otani are like these just like such dominant forces. Yes. It's rad. Heather, what, talk about your, your soccer knowledge. Well, I played soccer as a kid.

Wow. Chingards and all. And loved it, love the cleats, love running up and down the field. I do love cleats. They're great. They make you feel so fast. Which are cool. I think that soccer is.

the sport, if you were to rank the number of times I've watched a game, the number one sport for me is basketball. Growing up in Chicago in the 90s, I mean, it was like culture. Your Chicago Bulls. So we watch the Chicago Bulls all the time. Double. After basketball, I think soccer is the most watched sport of my life. Wow.

At the same time, I would not call myself. in any way an expert, nor even could I pose to be a fan. Sure. I have only one sporting, I have only one professional jersey in my closet. It is for the Holland team and is for when World Cup rolls round. You know, when I was in Holland, we'd watch the IACs games. And I have also traveled to Seattle with Drew Carey and sat on the bench of the Sounders and watched a game from the sideline.

from the sidelines. Nice little casual name drop there. He's my friend. I know, but it's just like, you know, he just kind of threw it in there. He's really nice. He's fantastically nice. He's the best man in Hollywood. Incredible.

Like for people who didn't know, I don't know if I'll widely publicize this story was outside of Hollywood. But he personally, during the WGA and Sag After Strikes, covered the bill for people to eat for free at two restaurants in the city. So both like boosting the, you know, the boosting those, the local economy and then also giving free meals to people who are out of work because of a of Hollywood grade. It's pretty great. He's amazing. So. And I heard he spent, spent, not from Heather. I heard he spent a ton of money.

Like the actual figure that was cited to me was like, holy shit. Yes. This guy really dipped into his, you know, unlike Jay Leno, not touching his tonight show money. Jay Leno drove by and gave one box of donuts. Lay off. No, I think that's, hey, God bless. May and Biala came to our picket line. She gave us lemonade's forever being her dead.

Just don't ask her about anything. But it's just like he was definitely dipping into that price is right, Manny. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I've seen, I've seen, you know, soccer games live. I've seen them on television. I watch the World Cup every time I rolls around. Certainly was when Ted Lassau was an episode.

I was excited to watch it, not only because, you know, it's created by my friends, but also because it was about like this thing that they had shared their passion for to me. I felt like you just casually also slipped in your friends with the creators of Ted Lassow. Well, I sort of was going to say, that's not a surprise. Wait, but hold on. It's, it's, I think. You were at boom with Brendan. Yeah, I was at boom with Brendan.

I know, I know. Like, like pre-fame Brendan is. It was my friend. I'm just having fun. We're just having fun here. Yeah, before Coach Beard. And he was so passionate, so passionate about soccer and football, soccer football, football, soccer in, in Holland that was sort of infectious.

Like, he was like, you've got to get into this. It's really cool. That being said, I can't, I'm, I would be a, I would be such a poser to be like, I love soccer. It's just like, almost like a, like a title wave has washed over my life. from the passion of people around me, and as a result, I have ingested a ton of soccer. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes total sense.

I do think that, like, soccer fandom or, you know, football fan. I don't know what the fuck we're supposed to say on the show. It's an American show. Yes. But if we say football, we sound insane. I've been thinking about this because, like, I, you know, like, and I'm a fan of American football, go chargers. I get the bold-ons. I'm bolt up.

The, like, I- Fucking Frankenstein ass. Fire bad, look, what do you want for me? Hey, look, in this town, we do say that. Fire bad. You can go pretty far in a mayoral primary by saying fire bad. Basically nothing else. But not far enough, bitch.

I'm curious if to our, because certainly our listenership in America is going to be disoriented, calling like football, proper football football, instead of when we say football in the states, usually means American football, which I think people globally know, but I think also people globally are annoyed that we just call American football football, but then also, and that we call football soccer, but I think if you just said football, like, are Europeans, are like, are people in other territories, people globally annoyed that us saying football, does that seem try hard? I do think, and, you know, of course.

I don't fucking know. I don't know what to say. We're the, the, maybe the first people to litigate this ever, but I, I do think that, like, because it is a global sport, it should be called football. Yeah, let's just pick it. Let's just pick one. They call it everywhere else. Yeah. And then football here.

Call it American football. Call it run ball. You can call it run ball. But I think if you said American football, people would know what you mean. This is like Australian rules football. They call it Australian rules football there. Pass and run ball. Pass and run ball.

Oval ball. Egg ball. Egg ball. There certainly is the hand egg contingent. But I think it's fine to call it just. Like just put a little, a little corral area. It's American football. All right, Ranch, you were captain of your varsity soccer team.

Captain Rant. Yeah. Was this in Thailand? This was in Thailand. Okay. It was my senior year of high school. I was co-captain because I wasn't a very good soccer player, but I was kind of made captain for like morale. Yeah, sure.

You're a vibes captain. You're a vibes captain. You put a smile on everyone's face. I get it. Yeah. But our first tournament, our senior year. I got into a big accident. Oh, my God.

I guess I don't really remember this. Oh, gosh. I guess I was running for the ball and then crashed into someone and fell on my neck. And I woke up in an ambulance. Oh, my God. And I was like strapped down. Like my neck was like, I was like all strapped down. Yeah.

I was trying to get. There was an oxygen mask on me. Yeah. I threw up. Oh, God. And then I couldn't breathe and the nurses weren't, where the EMTs weren't paying attention to me. So then I had to swallow my puke. Oh, my God.

And then I passed out again and woke up in the hospital. Oh, my God. I hated that. Oh, my God. That's horrible. Oh, my God. Why did you do that? And then I woke up in the hospital and I had a small tear and like a neck muscle.

And I had to wear a neck brace for two months of my senior year of high school. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Do you have like photos and stuff where you're wearing the neck brace? Like your class photos or like a prom photo or anything like that? Luckily not. There is one photo. Let me look on.

Maybe don't show it to Nick. Yeah, you don't have to show it. What was the recovery time on this injury? Just two months in the neck brace. I think it was like a small tear and strain. It wasn't. It wasn't the worst thing. That's crazy.

Wow. That's like, I mean, that's a pretty horrific injury. Yeah, Jesus Christ. What a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah, that's horrible. And you swallowed your own bar, that's nasty. Did you say it, were you at the hospital later?

Oh, you do have a picture. Wow. Oh, my God. You look tough as hell, though. Yeah, you look tough. You look terrifying. You also have not aged a day. Yeah, what the fuck?

How is that possible? What the fuck is that? Yeah. You're like showing us evidence that you're a cryptic. Yeah. Being in a neck brace, my senior year was definitely the worst part of all this. And then I couldn't play soccer But you looked like your friends signed it

Or like maybe you did some drawing on it Or yeah someone said wrote kick me And then someone tried to write kiss over that To block it That's pretty good This is my normal face? My normal face Pretty good

Wow Terrifying How did you guys do that season? What a story I don't remember Because I kind of just I didn't participate Yeah you can get to play that much anymore

I think we were pretty We were not bad What was your position? Midfield. Okay, okay. You're covering a lot of ground. Heroing, harrowing, Tori. Yeah, yeah.

So did you tell the, like, at the hospital, you were like, hey, you know, I threw up by my mask and no one noticed. Did you tell that to anyone? I don't think I told any. I might have told my mom, but. Yeah, I guess, I guess, like, who would you narc on at that point? But that is fucking crazy. Yeah, that's intense. Jesus Christ.

That's very intense. New ranch lore always just knocks you on your ass. The ranch lore is deep and vast. It is always, it's never what you think. It's always something like, yeah, you know, one time a guy stabbed me and I broke the knife off in my abdomen and I had to like kick him until he was dead. And you're just like, what? Do you have the x-ray? And it ruined my shoes because his clown makeup got all over it.

What I was fucking talking about? What? You killed Penny one? I don't think I have the x-ray. I think x-rays are fascinating. I love looking at x-rays. They're so weird. They're nasty.

So video game-wise. One hour and 17 minutes in. I don't know how to transition. I don't know how to say away away from that, but here we go. And like, I will say I have played some football video games. And notably when I was going through the, like some of the list and going to memory lane, there was a Super Nintendo one called International Superstar Soccer, which was by Konami.

And then Konami got better, it was later on better known for pro evolution soccer, which everyone said was better than FIFA, but FIFA had the license. So FIFA had market dominance. Also, pro evolution soccer was not really released in the U.S., I think, for a long period. But I remember that game being very, being really fluid and fun. I also got, like, there was a period where I was, into FIFA on PC. I want to say like the FIFA 2000, FIFA 99 era and just not really knowing what I was doing,

you know, I definitely remember hearing the commentary for getting an own goal because I was just like, I don't know the fuck how that happened. I didn't even make you do that. But like, but, you know, enjoying myself. I have this vague memory of an arcade machine. Okay. That had a physical ball that you could kick. and so

on the ground on the ground and I was trying to figure out what it was and the one that comes up when you search this from like the period of time

that I would have been going to arcades like late 90s early 2000s was called kick it but it doesn't look how I remember it but I remember

like kicking a ball toward a goal and there being like a screen but I don't like I don't know what you did because I never like it seemed like it cost a lot of quarters or something, I just never did it.

It's possible, was it possible as World Football Pro, or is that too modern? That might be too modern, because I'm thinking that it's like also like it's not taking up like that much, weirdly not taking up that much space. Right, because World Football Pro has a whole cage and it like dispenses real soccer balls and you're trying to kick penalty kicks, I guess. I guess that's the, the, because I kind of remember kicking the ball, like, because the ball was like changed like to the thing, like, or with whatever, you know, so you can kick it and then have the ball return.

Right. But I always would, like, kick the ball, like, away from the thing. And then steal it? You're trying to be bad. Trying to be bad. Like, not steal it, but, like, kick it out of the area. Because, like, it's just a loose ball that you can kick. And then you take it home.

Now, I'm not taking it home. No, it's on the chain. There's no theft part of my story. I'm not in trouble. I'm not in trouble. How did you get the ball home if it was on a chain? I actually had my own ball. Okay.

Okay. I got the old ball and chain waiting for. me at home. Oh, boy. I have a very limited exposure to soccer video games. I've played Rocket League in part to unlock a car for Fortnite. Fascinating. Because there are a bunch of exclusive cars that come out in Rocket League and or there was a white, an unremarkable white van that was exclusive to Rocket League.

And so I had to play a ton of fucking Rocket League to unlock the white van. Yeah. I think I played Super Mario Strikers. Yes. That's it. I'm curious as a Sega kid, there are some Sega-specific franchises, Virtua Strikers, which was the soccer component of Virtua Fighter and Virtua Tennis. And then also there was Sega Soccer Slam, which kind of has.

had like the like kind of a luchador sort of element of like all these crazy over the top, like fighting game characters. And like like it was very Mario Strikers, but I think with more original characters. The problem for me was always that like, and this extends to a lot of sports games. If if I can physically play the game in real life, if I can physically do the thing, then I kind of don't want to play the video game version of it. And so, like, while I'm not in the habit of playing soccer, I, if I was going to play a soccer video game, and I know there's like the power fantasy of being a professional sports person or being a coach of a major team and like negotiating all the minutia of managing that team, like I understand that those are all elements of modern sports games that I physically can't do. But when it comes to like playing a basketball game, I, I, until,

recently was in a basketball league. You know, like, if I'm going to play a boxing game, I'm only going to play it for as long as I'm like, I could just go to the gym and box. Like, it's strange to me. There's not enough, like, defamiliarization of sports for me to enjoy them. Yeah, I mean, like, I, look, I, I feel the same way about NBA 2K, the more semi sort of versions of basketball, you know, games. I do like arcadey ones.

I do like stuff like like like I to for me like a Mario Strikers is more interesting than a FIFA again. I'm just talking my own personal taste. I'm not saying people like like like whatever the fuck you like. But the thing I do like about Sims is like career modes and and management. Like so like like there's there's a franchise that I'm not familiar with called football manager that is basically like you know, you're using real players and you're building franchises over time. and I do like the equivalent of that in like a Madden or like an NBA 2K. I remember having a lot of fun just building like a Lakers dynasty, you know, and just seeing how many titles I could win over the course of 20 years

through a series of both trading players, free agent acquisitions, and then also like, you know, as you start as the draft pool starts to become like some algorithmically generated character. and all of a sudden, like, you know, your number one draft picker spending on Scott Jenkins and Scott Jenkins wins MVP. You know, like, I do like that aspect. Yeah.

I messed around with Super Mario Strikers when it was added to the GameCube Nintendo Switch Online roster and thought that was, like, actually just, like, really fun because similarly, like the Arcadee sports games are the ones that I end up really liking, like your NBA Street Volume 2. There was, like, something like that. for soccer, I probably would have loved it.

There was a time where I was playing Rocket League a lot before it went free to play. Like I was like a game that I purchased because I was like, oh, like this seems cool. And there was a period of time where I was like, I think this might be like the best video game. Like driving a car to hit a big ball into a goal, I was like,

this is all games need to be actually. This is just perfect fun. And then I just kind of just lost interest in it. I think around the time it went free to play, I was like, I'm not here for like a live service kind of like thing. Sure. I'm out. But I was playing online like with friends.

And like I loved that game. I have a pitch or not a pitch necessarily, but. Speaking of soccer. Speaking of soccer. I look, I talked to talk. Is that the goal thing earlier? They call the field the pitch. Exactly.

You call, what? Fever pitch. The movie, a remake, the original one, soccer. The pun works both ways. It works both for the pitch in soccer terms and the pitch in baseball terms. Yeah. In the Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore classic that Boston Red Sox fans love. They love that Jimmy Fallon ran onto the field during their World Series victory to film a scene for a Fairley Brothers movie.

He wasn't the drunkest guy at the stage. He wasn't. He was working. Blitzball is kind of soccer. Blitzball is kind of soccer. It's also kind of water polo. It's kind of water polo. I kind of forgot about that.

It's kind of volleyball-ish. Yeah, it's kind of like a hybrid of all of these. I also think Blitzball sucks, right? I like Final Fantasy 10, but Blitzball's dog show. It's a little quidditch. Yes. In playing Final Fantasy 10 recently, I kind of thought that maybe I would like Blitzball.

Yeah. I am here to report. It sucks. Yeah, it's no good. It's certainly no Queen's Gambit. Queen's Gambit? No, wait, no. Queen's blood.

Queen's blood. Queen's blood. Queen's Gambit's the... I'll tell you what. It's also not the Queens Gambit Netflix show. It's not that at all. That's some good stuff. I'd rather watch that than play Blitzball.

I'll tell you what. Yeah. You mentioned, since you're talking about Rocket League and live service games, there is a rematch, which is for, from the creators of Sifu in a game I know you liked, Matt. Yes. And that one just came out last year. I noticed it was on Game Pass.

I didn't get a chance to put any time into it. But this is like basically Rocket League without the cars. It's just like you're actually controlling a player. It's five on five arcade soccer. And I don't know. I think enthusiasts like it. I'd say it's well done. This might be the thing that like I need to check out then as the as I just said.

I would have liked that if they had made that in the early 2000s or something. But if it's like live servicey, I'm kind of like, there's just things about games like that that I'm just like not always super into.

Even though I know that like Fortnite is a live service game. But like that for some reason doesn't bother me as much. I don't know why. Because the game is fun. Yeah, it's a good game. I never played.

This is one that has... Guys, there's a mobility item in Fortnite right now that is so good. It is kneeling, pocket shoes. Wow. So. Imagine wearing those playing soccer? You slide as you're kneeling and the boosters turn on and you're sliding while kneeling

really fast. Whoa. And there's an unlimited version and a non-unlimited version. And the unlimited version is the is some of my favorite movement they've put in Fortnite for so fucking long. Wow. I love it. There's a game that is beloved from the 8-bit era for the Famicom, NES.

that is, I know it's not called the Famicomama NES. I'm just saying both games. It's soccer football. It's soccer football. It is called Nintendo World Cup. And it is, it was developed by, what the hell is the name of the developer? It's the same developer that made Renegade and River City Ransom and Super Spike Volleyball. Technos Japan.

Oh, I played this. Yeah. I remember that. So this is the game, like, it has the same character design as River City Ransom, which is these little squat guys. I think there's a super, there's a super dodge ball. they made as well. I really like the way they look. They look great.

They've got like all kind of this. There's like when they get. Not quite cheapy, but they're like kind of chunkers. They're all kind of kind of thick. When you'd get hit with stuff in those games, the guys would always be like, they'd be frozen for a second with like a shitty expression on their face

before they'd like take damage. I love it. Yeah. Impact frames. Do you remember that game at all? The soccer one? Yeah. No, I remember playing it though.

Yeah. I don't. Must have been at a friend's house. I don't know where I played it. but I've definitely, maybe it was a rental. I've played that game. I never played it, but I do know that was like an early one that people like really responded to. I remember the ball flickering.

Sure, that sounds about right. Yeah, yeah. To indicate like movement? Yeah, it would like flicker as it moved. I don't think that was a intended feature. I see. So they also had, there was another game that I was not familiar with. And I guess is really popular in the UK.

sensible soccer which came out in 1992 it's such a UK fucking sounds like something those tea drinkers would make sensible soccer and this one was more was more

simy but I think it's just like for a lot of people it's like this is still the best football sim that was out there it had like a like I you know I read I'm only reading about it and watching videos so I don't really know how this works mechanically but it's got more of this sort of bird's eye view,

which is an interesting choice for a sports game. And then also, but you know, lets you really see the pitch. And then also it's, I guess everything was based around one button contextual controls. Interesting. So like based on where you were on the field and what you were doing directionally with your player,

that would be determined if you were, you know, going to pass or shoot or what kind of ball you were going to, like if you were going to strike it around along the ground or in the air and so forth. I'm like kind of like I'm intrigued by it. I don't know if I'll ever play it, but it's one that continually comes up

in lists of best soccer games. I wonder if there's like a Blue Lock Arcady soccer game. I didn't see any. I like I, yeah, it's possible. I think there is one. They should have it. I think there is one.

Maybe I'm crazy. I feel like I saw a Blue Lock soccer game somewhere. I feel like there's probably at least a mobile game. mobile RPG yeah not exactly what I want yeah that's not what I want at all actually I do want to talk about because I think it's interesting blue lock the video game blue lock the video game blue on phone blue lock the soccer anime for those of you that don't know that it's awesome a great a great anime it's basically like there's there's all the best young football players in Japan are assembled in one squid game

like scenario and each week one of them is eliminated. Not killed, but it's got the same sort of stakes. The FIFA, the FIFA license, like, drama is fascinating. Yeah, so I got some context on this. So, and I don't know how much you all know about FIFA Ultimate Team, but for me it's kind of a microcosm of everything that's wrong with a video game industry. I'm pulling a lot of this from a 2025 Arth Nova article by Aditya Badola, apologies for mingling your name, titled How,

EA Sports FIFA made $7 billion before losing the FIFA name. We can link this in these show notes. So the FIFA franchise launched in 1993 on the Sega Mega Drive. That was the original platform. Genesis Mega Drive. It had 325 million copies sold since then. It's the most successful sports franchise in gaming. It's absolute fucking sensation.

But in 2009, EA introduced this new mode called FIFA Ultimate Team, a card collecting game mode where players build custom teams by purchasing randomized player packs. I'm reading from the article now. I'm just reading excerpts. This single feature transformed FIFA from a $60 annual purchase into a perpetual revenue machine that generates more money than selling the actual game. By fiscal year 2021, Ultimate Team across all EA sports franchises generated 1.62 billion annually, with FIFA Ultimate Team contributing a substantial portion of that total.

By fiscal year 2025, that figure had gone to approximately $4.4 billion across all. all EA sports games. In 2024, 73% of EA's revenue was from live services, mostly ultimate team. In fact, these days,

only 25% of EA's revenue comes from selling actual games. The other 75% comes from the virtual player cards in the game currency and digital content that is a part of this. It's just so fucking grim

and it's just like, again, someone wants to be, Leonel Messi is like, well, I'm going to keep buying, because it's the same thing that exists in like a Marvel Snapper, a Heartstone. or the Pokemon card game.

Remind me what it's called. Pokemon the card game pocket. Pokemon the card game pocket where like you're ripping packs and you can spend, I don't know if you can spend actual money in that one. You can spend actual money in that one. So like you can spend actual money to rip packs and then you're trying to find high value cards. So if there's a particular player you treasure, you're going to keep dipping into that.

And maybe you'll find some other things that you can use. But it's just like, I don't know. I feel like this kind of thing that like the EU should ban that would then make it illegal globally. Because when a game has something like that in it, then there's, and the game functionally is the same every year, but with like new player licenses or whatever, or maybe slightly different,

or a slightly more simmy gameplay, there's no incentive to make the game better or more interesting. It's just sort of like, here's a new number on the game, and then here's just another way to keep buying this shit. And that's a problem with, as someone who used to play Madden, EA sports franchises at large is that they just like basically don't have any incentive to innovate or improve their product by virtue of bogarting the license they can just achieve

total market dominance. So I'll reap some more from the article. FIFA looked at EA's financial reports and did the math. EA was generating $7 billion annually while paying FIFA just $150 million for the naming rights. So, and now I'm just speaking as me, it's kind of an alien versus predator situation where FIFA wanted more money from EA, then EA said, fuck you. And in 2023, they launched its own franchise EA Sports FC. And everyone was like, oh, without the FIFA licenses going to succeed, are they going to

be able to keep doing an ultimate team? And basically, no one cared. It was as successful as ever. So I guess EA sports was ultimately redeemed. I guess you can be happy that FIFA, you know, ended up losing a little bit of a pool of money. But also, like, I don't like EA sports winning either. Fuck, they have both these.

No, they have unlimited money, but what they won't do is bring back EA sports. Big. Oh, I wish we had EA Sports Big. Can you imagine their key? Can you imagine FIFA Street or whatever the NBA Street equivalent would be?

It would be so cool. Yeah. FC Street, I guess it would be called. Yeah. What do you say? I was going to say EA Sports. It's in the game. EA sports.

It's in the game. I do like that in the game. It's in the game guy. I love it. I think he's a cameo or something. Why wouldn't he be? Yeah, God bless. But I think I just fucking hate shit like that.

It's not like the fucking worst FIFA Ultimate Team. And it's just like that it was like they yeah. I don't know. I feel like I'm a Jesse Pinkman. I'm just like they can't keep getting away with it. Why is this allowed? I kind of feel like Jesse Pinkman too. Bitch.

How dare you. What I like about Pokemon the card game pocket is that there are enough built in ways to accrue cards that you don't feel pressure. to purchase them. Yes. Especially if you get into the, if you have a solid deck that you know how to play and you've got the time to grind,

then you can play in ranked mode. And you can, if you get all the way to Masterball, I think you, it gives you the ability to unlock like 20 full packs up front at the launch of the next. Whoa. Deck launch or expansion pack launch.

And that gives you enough momentum to make it through the next round of. It's not un-preditary, but there is enough of a game that it feels like I'm comfortable here and I'm not being shoved out by. There's also like, it feels like because an insignificant number

of the cards are simply prettier versions of the base deck, that like the whales that come in and they spend a ton of money, you'll play against them and you'll be like, yeah, your deck is really pretty, but it is a shitty deck to play. Yeah. So I don't know.

I hear it certainly for EA sports, but I do think that there are, like, it's fun to collect cards. It is fun. I guess what I like where I am is the loot box gotcha model can be less predatory. Yes, you're correct. You can adjust the ratios and make it so that you can earn more things for free. I would say it probably should be a thing where you can earn everything for free. And there should be some regulation in terms of like how much acceleration you can get from spending real money. But ultimately, from what I've read about what gotcha does to kids' brains, it's basically just like gambling.

Yeah. And we're already so, so, you know, especially in America. Yeah. It's just like we were just so soaked in gambling culture. That's another thing that's kind of ruining sports that I don't know. It's just these are training wheels to get people onto gambling apps. as they turn 18? Like, what the fuck are we doing? I saw an ad for a credit card that I can't believe is real and it's that it's a credit card

that gambles and like when you charge an item, there's a chance you might get the item for free. What on earth? Really? I think so. I got to get this card. It is the worst thing that I've ever heard. That's extremely predatory. Yeah. Don't even look it up. Like I don't even want to know if it exists. Well, I feel like, Like just even talking about it. My phone heard it. Yeah. And now the phone's going to tell me to get it.

Yeah. Anyway, let's take a break. Our next sponsor, hey, have you ever wanted to earn gambling rewards while you use your credit card? So, like, I will just say this. Was doing this topic a craven way to cash in on SEO because of the World Cup being so topical? Perhaps. Perhaps. But also, we've never talked about soccer games in the podcast before.

So why the fuck not? And it's, hey, I think we could all agree. It's definitely not as bad as the stuff that FIFA and EA are up to. You compare it to that? Yeah. It's actually not bad at all. Thank you, Matt. So you can't, you can't be mad at us because...

They barely talked about soccer games. We don't know that much about, like, like, a soccer, except for Ranch, apparently, who was captain of her team and almost died. The, like, we... Ranch's head almost fell off and you're mad. Great. I wish you, I guess you wish Ranch had been declares. Would you be happy then?

Yeah, wow. There'd be no podcast. Yeah. You have no Discord to complain in? Was that what you want? Yeah. Guess what? There's all that other stuff that we talked about.

You probably like that. You probably really liked that. And if you didn't like it, you know what? That's fine too. That's fine too. What about the soccer Pokemon? That's, yeah, Cinder Race is pretty good. Cinderace is pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah, I like Cinder Race. God, Dill Fox is so fine. Damn, she's fine. Should we do a segment? Yeah, let's do a segment. It's game overtime. And just to remind everybody what this is, I'm going to name some games.

And you guys got to tell me how long it takes to beat them. And these times have been sourced from How Longto Beat.com, previously mentioned earlier in the show. And these are just the main story times, okay? So I'm just going to name some games. I guess it's Price's Right Rule. I don't know if it's Price of Right Rules. You know what?

It's not. It's not. It's not prices right rules. It's what's closest. Okay. Get bent. Heather's friend, Drew Kerry. And no disrespect to Drew. No disrespect to Drew. All disrespect to Bob Barker. Yeah. I ain't doing that to my fucking pets. Just kidding. Just kidding. No, everybody's spay new to your pets. Actually, it's really healthy for them. And it's good for everybody. Here we go. This first one, Final Fantasy Six. How? long does it take to beat the main story of Final Fantasy 6? So I've finished Final Fantasy 6. This is one of those things that when I think through the first time I played it, you know,

I was a kid. And so I've got kid brain. Things felt more expansive. Time felt just slower paced in general. School day felt interminable. Whereas now I feel like each day of my life is faster than the previous one. Oh, you should feel what it's like to be me on this show. Heather trapped in an eternity. Yeah. It's a groundhog hour. But I think this one is probably, you know, it's not this. I don't think it's the 60-hour behemoth that would have been in my memory.

I think this one is probably, I'm going to say, 26 hours. I'm going to go with 31 hours. Wow. Heather gets the point. 33 hours for Final Fantasy 6. Wow. 33 hours. That's not.

It's not nothing for a 16-bit game. But also- Super Famicom Game. We'll see what else. What else is happening on here? Next one. Batman Arkham Knight, the third entry in the

Batman Arkham series. So I didn't play Arkham Knight. Did you play Okine Night? I loved, well, I love the Arkham games. I played Arkham Knight and didn't love it as much as Arkham City. Arkham City is my favorite.

Arkham Knight was the most divisive. I still have so much affection for Arkham Asylum. Archimisle is a perfect patch. It just is contained, like, I think that just, like, really surprised me with how refined it was. Anyway, Heather, you, wait, should we alternate going first?

I'm just going to guess. 40 hours. Even 40 hours, even money. Heather says, even 40 hours. For Arkham Night, I'm going to guess this is a, perhaps a slimmer campaign than Arkham City. I'm going to guess 23 hours.

Nick's going to take this one. 17 hours to complete the main. A little short boy. A slender man. A little slender man. He might be freaking, what's his first name? Slender? Dr. Crane, the scarecrow.

Okay. Dr. Crane, the Batman villain, Iqabod Crane, is a... I don't think it's Iqabod? Isn't it Iqabod? That's the headless horseman. I think it's an Iqabod. I think his first name is Iqabod. Wait, hold on.

Let's look at the shit up. Iqabod is one of those things in that story that you're just supposed to breeze pack. And it's like, what the fuck kind of a name is Iqabod? Ikebaud. Bring that name back. It's a good name. Name your son, Iqabod. This is my son, Iqabod.

Do you know there was going to be a third Joel Schumacher Batman movie? And the rumor was they wanted to have Scarecrow and it was going to be played by Howard Stern. Don't you wish that existed? Yeah, I wish a dream I had was real. Surprising they never got, they could have got goldblum for Scarecrow. Yeah, would have been fun. It would have been great.

Scarecrow created by Bill Finger, the writer and artist Bob Kane. Bill Finger was excised from the Batman origin for so long. Let me see. Let's see what was actual name is. Jonathan Crane. That's what it's not really remarkable. Yeah.

Just kind of a normal name. John Crane. My name is John Crane. 17 hours for Batman. Batman Arkham Knight. Anyway, I'm glad we figured that out. Yeah, me too. Iqabad.

This next one... I can't name back. Is that a good name? Iqabod? We can't, by the end of the episode, have spent more time talking about Iqabod than we did soccer game. Rochelle, you like the name Iqabod? No. It gives me the ick.

Wow. I think it's pretty good. If I'm a Nicarbaud, it would be like, hey, all right. You're Nicarbod? I could be Nikabod. Why not? It's kind of like if we got into the fly machine with our names. I mentioned my my Japanese teacher explained to me like the the the the etymology of hen Thai in Japanese now hen means weird and you know it's it's hard to exactly one-to-one translate it.

It's Ken Thai the phrase basically means pervert but hen-tie if you kind of break it down is kind of like weird attitude. Yeah. Which is like a funny way to think about it. Yeah. Like I guess if you are into I guess someone who would consume anime pornography is. has perhaps a weird attitude. I don't know. Nick,

why are you talking about this with your Japanese... I was going to say, were you blocking the door when you told her this? Hold on. I went to a porno store. Hold on.

Okay, look. She brought up that kids are not like really banned from adult spaces in Japan. Oh, interesting. Like you can just like, like she said as a kid

she could just go into bars and stuff. Oh, interesting. I didn't see any kids in bars there, but I guess it's like a, You were looking. God damn it. But then I brought up, I was, because she knows Heather. I was like, you know, when Heather wanted me to go in this porno store.

Heather begged me to go in. So I went in there. What the fuck? I don't want to say like I went into a porno store with no context. So you threw me under the bus for telling you that there is a floor that exists where women aren't allowed. Hold on. This did happen. And also you wanted to know what was up there.

And I found out. But that's because you were like, I want to get porno. And I went, oh, there's a place I know of. Which is a very different version of the story than Heather said go into the pornography store. I guess I didn't want to tell my Japanese. I am fucking angry about this. I guess I didn't want to tell my Japanese teacher. I wanted to get some porn.

So instead you said, my friend Heather that you know said go in a porn store. Well, I said you were curious. I didn't say you wanted me to get it, like, to, that you had any illicit, you know, sort of motive. I just, I just said, like, that you were, I just said that you wanted to know what was in there because it was men only. And she was like, oh, yeah, I think I know, like, she kind of knew what it was. Yeah. And then we talked a little bit about, about real, like, but I was like, but kids don't go to, like, porno stores or whatever. She was like, no, what are you talking about?

That's why I brought it up. Resident Evil 3 Nemesis Hold on, I didn't finish this. Oh yeah. Because you said my name is Nick Abod. I relayed this to the group chat and then you both were trying to figure out a hentai nickname for me. Yeah, yeah.

You learned to both Hen Y and then Hen Tiger. Hen tiger's pretty good. Hen tiger is pretty good. Resident Evil Nemesis. How long does it take to beat? The original PlayStation 1. Resident Evil Nemesis. Nine hours.

That says nine hours. I was going to say 11 hours. I'll just say 11 hours. Heather's going to take this one It's six and a half hours Short boy A slender man Yeah a slender man

Okay this next one Final Fantasy 12 How long does it take to complete The main story Big fucking game Of Final Fantasy 12 What's the score right now? It's two to one Heather

Okay Final Fantasy 12 I will go first Because here's the thing The thing about how long to beat If you're metagaming this Of course The people who self-report

I've said this before tend to finish games a little faster than the average gamer. And there is another score that is like a sort of average of the story, main story, like main story and DLC and completionist times that is higher. But I'm going with, I'm just going with mainstores. So if you're just mainlining this game,

I'm going to say 41 hours. I'm going to say 55. This one's going to go to Heather. 61 hours. I knew it's big. It's a huge. It is a huge game. It was in development for so long.

It just got stuff full of stuff. Yeah, it's big. I just was like thinking about people maybe being a little speedier at finishing it, but you know. That's the fast version. I think I put it more than 100 hours into that. Oh, no, it's a substantial, substantial game.

I played it too. Put a ton of hours into it. Next on the list here. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl for the Nintendo DS. All right. It's three to one. I'm gonna make up some ground here Pokemon Diamond and Burl

this is the D S game The first DS game 12 hours Nick says 12 hours For the main story of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl 20 hours This point's gonna go to Heather

But you need to know You're halfway there 41 hours That's a big one That's a big game But it's kind of What a value though for the DS So, hey, I have this one game.

I'm going to be playing this for a while. Yeah, and there's a lot to do in there. And that's to race through it. Yes. Here you go. So Heather is in the lead. We know, we know. She's kind of doing the best at the game.

This next one, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, multi-platform hero team game. Marvel Ultimate Alliance, 17 hours. Heather says 17 hours. I think that's the right number, but I've been undershooting everything. So much that I'm gonna go up to 29 hours

This one also goes to Heather 13 hours Fuck this. God fucking sucks. I don't like this game. I have one more, but Heather's decidedly the winner. Well, okay, why even bother then, I guess? Is that what that's what you want? That's what you're saying? Well, just for the exercise. Okay, great. How long does it take to be?

Fallout New Vegas. Oof. So this is the tiebreaker. What? Whoever wins this one Wins the round I am going to say Fallout New Vegas Which I've tried a few times

I've started and stopped a few times And I just bounce off of And I know everyone says like it's like great Maybe I just need to get the right mods or whatever Yeah I'd like to play it I'd really like Obsidian's writing And I just like I just for whatever reason

Never really got into it I'm going to say this is 33 hours Nick says 33 hours. Heather, what do you say? Fallout New Vegas. 41 hours. This was the time break

and I have to say the winner of game over time is Nick Weiger with 27 hours to fall out New Vegas. Wow. They're no rules for the segments. It's so close. It's so close.

Gigi, Heather. So close. That's this week's get played. Our producers of Shell Chen Ranch, Twitch.tv slash yard underscore underscore. I know your streaming schedule is sporadic. You've got a lot of work to do here at Headgum. You got your own podcast. What are you like, like currently streaming or planning on streaming?

I still need to finish Requiem and I also need a finish Silent Hill F. Wow. Wow. Two survival horror games that you need to put a bow on. But yeah, you'll hop back on the stream at some point. People should give you a follow and a subscriber. Music is by Ben Pronti. Ben Pronti, Benpruddymus.com.

Our artist by Duck Brigade, design, duckbrigade.com. Get played merchant kinship goods.com. And a bonus episode every Wednesday on our Patreon, get played DLC. Matt, what's up this week? This week's DLC is a super question block turbo deluxe edition. And it's all about platformers, platforming games. What a hoot.

We got some great questions from the Patreon listeners. You sent in some questions. We formulated some answers related to all things. platformers 2D and 3D. That's only at patreon.com slash get played. Thank you to all our patrons. Well,

so I think some proper footy got played this week. Some proper footy got played this week, and for all the time's sake, go! Can't believe that fucking Rochelle story. Insane. I can't. That was a hate-

Gum Podcast. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to F***. Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show coming to HeadGum soon. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute too long. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions.

All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass Podcast.

Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us.

Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. We man, Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet form.

Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about?

Probably buttholes. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode.

We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Often. A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.