Get Played - Tier of the Kingdom: Gimmick Peripherals

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Matt, Heather and Nick discuss and rank some of the weirdest controllers and peripherals ever made. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymu...sic.com. Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com. Check out our Anime watch-along podcast Get Anime'd and our complete Get Played, How Did This Get Played? and Premium DLC back catalogue only on patreon.com/getplayed. Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at getplayedpod@gmail.com Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Looking for inspiration? Craving something new? When you visit Audible, there are endless ways to ignite your imagination. With over 750,000 titles, including bestsellers, there's a listen for every type of listener. Discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent like Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby's latest sci-fi adventure The Downloaded. A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial
Starting point is 00:00:36 at audible.ca. All right, look, Madcatz team, we need a new controller that's really going to shake up the marketplace. You know, as software is increasingly gotten digital, hardware is where the money's at. So, what can we do? A new way to control something. So something unprecedented, a new input device for gaming. I do think obviously the Nintendo Power Glove is flawed, but I do think that it's a concept
Starting point is 00:01:16 worth revisiting with buttons on each individual fingers. I think if there's buttons at the tips of each finger we could really Just capitalize on full motion with the hand Yeah, would perhaps have some you know possibilities for VR as well VR functionality. Yeah, that's a good good thought starter I I don't I don't know if I'm in the right room But I you know I I heard you guys talking and I thought I had an idea Hi, I'm Doug it. I guys talking and I thought I had an idea hi. I'm Doug et I dug it I work in the Cafeteria downstairs the
Starting point is 00:01:52 Cafeteria for everyone to eat in anyway, so I got this idea for a new kind of controller That's like what you know like the part of your butt that you like to touch So I think that that is a really good texture for like, a pliable controller. Like, a pliable controller. Cause you can like, it's an analog device, so you can kind of shift it around. You can push it really hard, it'll go fast. You can pull it a little bit and it'll slow down.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I just, I don't know what else, like, what other kind of metaphor to use for this controller that I am envisioning. Like, kinda like, if you imagine a sunny side egg, but only the yellow part, but very big and firmer. So it's easier to describe it as a butt. Anyway, that's my first idea. Do we go again right away if we have another one? I mean, look, I'll say first of all, it sounds a little out there, but there was of course the infamous Bunga Bunga arcade cabinet in Japan, which was a concho simulator, which actually had a butt and a finger controller that you would use to poke it. So that's a real thing that exists.
Starting point is 00:02:59 So you know, I would just sort of say we can blue sky it here. We can have the idea of an crackless ass. This is the first time in my entire employment history that I have pitched something that already exists and I am very sorry. Not a reason to feel bad. You said you had another idea, so I think why don't we hear it?
Starting point is 00:03:18 A hot wet sweater. You put it on and as it, what do you, you seem upset by this? It just, hot and wet is tough. I don't know if I want to be shooting electricity through a wet garment. No. I would just worry about possibly some liability from that. I also just logistically, I don't know how we're keeping something wet that we're shipping to consumers Are you saying that the the consumer would wet it in their own home? No, it's in one
Starting point is 00:03:50 You've never bought anything wet from the grocery store. I'm gonna toss this one out Yeah, I'm tossing this one out, but I am throwing back to you because I know you have another one. Okay. Yeah you're familiar with like a vacuum? Yeah I know what a vacuum is. Okay so or a trombone, better idea. Sure. Trombone, you know extend and you pull it back and you have like sort of an analog degree
Starting point is 00:04:16 of like control over the instrument itself because of the fluctuating pathway of trombone. Yeah trombone hero kind of a meme hit last year. Oh wow, that's great. So imagine a vacuum that you put your tongue in and then you can, depending on how far you let your tongue into it, it's like an analog controller for a specific kind of interactive experience.
Starting point is 00:04:40 I am imagining like on a dating sim or if you know differently abled, and you need a gas pedal in a racing car you would use your tongue Yeah, why not? I'm just gonna say I think you're more pitching just like Sex toys like that just sounds like generally what you're pitching here What is like something someone would use for like, you know, self pleasure. If you want to hear a sex story, I could pitch you a sex story. You know what? I'm gonna have to ask you to um...
Starting point is 00:05:14 Alright, I'm gonna go have a good one. Uh, bye Duggett. You know, I don't toss the word genius around often. But Duggett's a genius? I'm gonna ask Duggett to marry me. We annoy our downstairs neighbors with dance pad stomping and wield a plastic chainsaw as we make our gimmick peripheral tier list this week on Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games, and every game
Starting point is 00:06:03 in between. It's time to get played. I'm your host, Heather A. Campbell, along with my fellow host, Nick Weiger. That's me, Nick Weiger, along with our third host, Matt Appadocka. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the
Starting point is 00:06:15 premier video game podcast where this week we are talking about gimmicks and games. Wow. Wow. It's the gimmicks that we remember, the gimmicks that we've forgotten, it's some controllers, it's some peripherals, it's some concepts that probably didn't sell very well, and we're gonna be talking about all of them
Starting point is 00:06:35 on this week's episode. Yeah, the body of this episode, I think we're just thinking about the specific weird hardware that some of it worked really well. Some of it, like Heather was saying, came and went and didn't make much of an impact or is only remembered for how bizarre it is.
Starting point is 00:06:55 But either way, they were all trying something, which I think is what I like about these, is that someone was like, fuck it, let's try something. Yes, yeah, they're all, at the very least, interesting. Yes. A shocking number of these were not created by Hideo Kojima, and I expected to see his name on the list hundreds of times as the man who tried to,
Starting point is 00:07:21 if I remember correctly, make a disc smell like blood while you were playing a game, or have a cartridge on the underside of a video game console that was reactive to sunlight. Yes, although you do run into some Kojima stuff with just like how you're using existing control methods, for instance, the Psycho Mantis fight is the infinite infamous example. I can read your mind and you got to switch controller inputs or shaking the not shaking
Starting point is 00:07:53 rocking the PS4 controller to soothe BB the baby. We're gonna be shaking that. No, no, don't want you. Don't shake a baby. Don't shake a baby. Don't shake a BB. ["Spring Break Theme Song"] Rewind it back to the days of chillaxing on the beach and all day fun with Spring Break on DraftKings Casino. Play exclusive games like Fan Fave Rocket.
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Starting point is 00:10:42 an application on their website at alotrolotto.org slash volunteer. We should talk about some video games we're playing because this is a video game podcast. The question is, what are you playing? What are you playing? Hello, it's me the Resident Evil Merchant and I'm here to ask you the question of the week. What are you playing? Resident Evil Merchant, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:09 we're talking about infamously weird controllers this week. I'm being addressed. Your property. This makes me uncomfortable. Well, I'm sorry, I mean, do you want me to just talk, do you want us to just talk about you while you're here? I thought it would be okay to just talk directly to you. If Nick Weiger is making you uncomfortable,
Starting point is 00:11:28 that scares me. I feel like, you know, very rarely am I asked a question on the podcast itself, but here I am. I'll just take a seat, make myself comfortable. What was the question, sir? Well, we didn't say to take a seat, but that's fine. Yeah. The... And I'm seated. What was the question, sir? Well, we didn't say to take a seat, but that's fine.
Starting point is 00:11:46 And I'm seated. Here's my question for you. We're talking about infamously weird controllers. The Resident Evil franchise has some entries in the peripheral space, one of which is the chainsaw controller. Excellent choice. Excellent choice, because that controller actually came out for my game, Resident Evil 4. That's right. Now would you say, perhaps, let's say you
Starting point is 00:12:12 were perusing the shelves of a video game store, you saw that on a shelf, would you say, I'd buy that for a high price? Yeah, I would I would especially know cuz they are going for a high price Yeah, just completely just gotten they they weren't even listening to that base It's just like went right over because it was just like that's just what they would say. Yeah No reaction. What are you saying? I thought they were not saying no, I just I'd be like happy like a recognition I got that's my thing. You got you know No, I just I'd be like happy like a wreck. You said my thing. That's my thing you got you know What thing well like if someone if I buy that for a high price? Yeah, like if I saw a mat and was like hey Matt hello everyone
Starting point is 00:12:52 I think he might be kind of be like oh, that's what they go Who you think my talking is a catchphrase? What I think it's been quite like a fucking Pokemon to you guys you're not a Pokemon It was your but you're very quotable I think you are people like remember like make super cuts of all of your dialogue. Oh, they do Yeah for sure you ever see some of those YouTube videos fan cams should I should I be on only fans? I would not jump to only fan I mean no shame in that line of work, obviously, but I I don't know if that's gonna be your audience
Starting point is 00:13:24 I do want to see, desperately, a Resident Evil 4 Merchant fan cam. I need it, I need to see it. I'm surprised it doesn't exist. Got something that might interest ya. I buy that for a high price. I'm trying to do it like you guys want me to. Over here, stranger. What are you buying? That's good. That's good. I'm trying to do it like you guys want me to.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Over here, stranger. What are you buying? That's good. That's good. It would say maybe I'm selling something. What? Maybe I'm not buying something. Perhaps I'm selling something.
Starting point is 00:13:55 What are you selling? Yeah. There you go. Yeah. What? Oh, see you, again, you think what I do is catch ready. But it is, catch ready. It is. You should lean into it.
Starting point is 00:14:06 That's part of the fun of being you. If I've learned anything from doing this show, it's that talking is catchphrase. Do you go into a McDonald's and shout at the worker, hey, say it, say the thing, do you want fries or that? Do you like harrass? You had me at go into McDonald's and shout at the worker. All right, fair enough. Go into McDonald's and shout at the worker Hahahaha Alright
Starting point is 00:14:26 Fair enough I go into McDonald's and they shout at me Are we Am I, is this the episode where I hang out the entire time? No this is not It doesn't have to be Also I don't think that's an episode What is?
Starting point is 00:14:42 The episode where you hang out the entire time I do think it will happen I'm out the entire time. I do think that's gonna happen. You don't think that's gonna happen? I'm just gonna say, like, I don't think that necessarily has to be an episode, you know, just speaking for myself. Okay, well, I think it could happen and I'm really excited for when it does. Unfortunately, I am somewhere to be. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:59 I'm a little relieved. I got a reservation at Little Dom's. Are you having a nice restaurant over in Los Angeles? A lot of fun. Having lunch with Don Ham or something? Yeah, Hamlet is staying out there. Yeah, me and John, no, I wish. I do see that guy there sometimes.
Starting point is 00:15:12 He loves to be there. I stand across the street and point at him. He probably does not like a guy in a trench coat who's seven feet tall pointing at him from across the street. I think he'd probably be a little unnerved as a celebrity. He's a nice man. I'm sure you could say hi to him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Okay. I'll tell him you said that it was okay. I don't know if you'd go that far. I don't certainly think that every person should go up to him and say hi, but you're also famous is what I'm saying. Yes. You're a fellow famous person. I think it's about, hey, we've maybe met on the lot.
Starting point is 00:15:44 We're on the same sort of status. I'm learning a lot about myself today. I've got catchphr person. I think it's about, hey, we're sort of, we've maybe met on the lot. We're on the same sort of status. I'm writing a lot about myself today. I've got catchphrases, I'm famous. You're totally, you're absolutely famous. Maybe some of the attention you're getting in public isn't just from your wardrobe and from your mannerisms, but from people actually recognizing you and appreciating your contribution to gaming culture.
Starting point is 00:16:02 I wanna say that I've not been emotional very many times on this podcast, but right now is one of those times. If I'm famous, you guys, you guys are the presidents of the United States. You're supreme fame. That's not the compliment you think it is. Those guys aren't good?
Starting point is 00:16:22 All right, well, I I gotta get to that table. They've got meatballs there that I love. And I wanna know what in what? It's weird to think about you eating like a normal meal. I mean, they don't let me sit. I got re- well, okay. This- I've been, all right. What are you playing?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Thanks for as an evil merchant. And come back anytime, stranger. That was good. That sounds like me. Is that a recording? No, he was doing you. I was doing it. Who's being you. That's an incredible impression. Well, you know, I sort of, uh, I sort of just do impressions.
Starting point is 00:17:08 It's kind of nice that we have someone in here who can do a really good Resident Evil Merchant impression. That's really handy. Should you not be able to make it sometime? Yeah, we got Matt right here. I think I could do it. We could do like a Between Two Ferns thing where like it's just Resident Evil Merchant on the Resident Evil Merchant. I don't think you understand what the show is. Because that's not what it is.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Is that a guy interviewing another guy? It's not Zach Galifianakis sitting across from somebody that he's acting like. Well, those are two different guys. Oh, no. Wow. I do not understand the concept of that show. I know it's the same guy every time. It's hard for me to tell people apart. That's okay, that's an issue.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Yeah, right. All right, Matt, what are you playing? All right. So look, I've spoken about this on Get Animated a little bit where I've been watching X-Men 97, the X-Men are back in my life in a big way. I love to hear it. I love the X-Men so much.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I've been reading some X-Men comics. I solicited some recommendations recently on my Instagram, and thank you to everybody that responded to that. Lots of good recs for me. And thank you to everybody that responded to that lots of good wrecks for me All this to say I've been missing The games X-Men legends and X-Men legends too, and if you don't know what those are those are action RPGs that are sort of like They were the precursor to the Marvel Ultimate Alliance games where you had like a party of four that you could swap in between
Starting point is 00:18:44 And kind of just go around doing superhero stuff and they all had unique abilities, you know, to their superheroes and stuff. Really, really fun games. Bunch is like, just like beat-em-ups. Fun beat-em-ups. Okay, kind of not exactly beat-em-ups, but kind of like that.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Yes, but there is like an RPG element where you can add stats and stuff like that. Interesting stories and I got X-Men Legends running very very smoothly on my Steam deck and it looks fantastic on there as well. It's really really good and I have it on PlayStation 2 but I don't have a way to set up
Starting point is 00:19:21 my PlayStation 2 currently. Like I don't have, my TV doesn't have the red, yellow, and white. You need a retro tink. I need a retro tink it sounds like. You're gonna tell me what that is. I think it's a thing that upscales old video game systems for modern screens.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Yes. And then also can add scan lines. Okay, because you know, I did try to hook it up in the past on an older TV I had that did have the things and I was still like, this looks, there was a time where that generation of games looked bad to me to a way I couldn't play it. And I think maybe because I've played older games
Starting point is 00:20:06 in the last few years, that putting it on, I was like, this doesn't look half bad. This looks pretty good actually. Because it has cell shaded animation too, so it has a look. It has a specific art style, so I think it holds up pretty nicely. And I just like pop it around
Starting point is 00:20:24 and just being the different x-men So I was playing that a little bit, but I'm still I just got to chapter 10 in Final Fantasy 7 rebirth going very very slowly in this game, but completing every side quest along the way and Having a fucking blast just really really loving it Um I got to the part where we meet Sid and I was so happy to see Sid. Yeah I love Sid so much. Yeah, and just to see him was very very exciting and I'm excited to press on and And can you continue my journey in there, but that's it for me. What do you make of the?
Starting point is 00:21:02 and can you continue my journey in there? But that's it for me. What do you make of the recent story, I think in Forbes, that says that Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is significantly underselling on expectations? I, it does baffle me a little bit because. I think we talked about, we may have talked about this a little bit, and maybe not this exact story.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Well, because a similar thing happened with Final Fantasy XVI. They said that that game underperformed, but it did sell millions of copies. So I think if they think it's underperforming, it must be by their own metric, because they're expecting it to sell this much, but in reality, these games are exclusive to the console that they're on. Right, you can never really trust a corporation's forecasting, because there's all sorts of reasons they might distort the numbers or have outsize expectations.
Starting point is 00:21:53 And I don't think we're in danger of them not completing the trilogy. That would be insane. But more so than of that, and just to talk about that story, it seems like there's a pretty intuitive explanation which is that you kind of have to play through remake to play rebirth and not everyone who played through remake or who bought remake finished remake. And so they may be like, well, I'm not going to go on to rebirth. I haven't finished the first one.
Starting point is 00:22:25 They will always, those will always be sold on a half-life of some kind. Like they're not every, it's not gonna be one-to-one sales. It just won't. But I think, I don't know, like I think people should buy it. I think it's good.
Starting point is 00:22:36 I would be surprised if, because I would imagine that the final one in the trilogy either comes out at the end of the PS5's life or the beginning of the PS6, right? Yeah. So there has to be on the PS6, a three disc package that is the entire fucking thing. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:57 And I feel like that will be an incredible bump of sales because who wouldn't want to be like, I'm gonna play Final Fantasy VII from start to finish in like a 300 hour game. Yes. I wish I shared your optimism that the PS6 would have a disk drive. I think it's going to be all digital. That's interesting to think about.
Starting point is 00:23:14 And I also don't even want to- That's bad. This makes me feel like shit. I can't even conceive of the PlayStation 6 yet because I Know we're like how many years in we're like four years into the cycle of PlayStation 5 Yeah, this will be brown for ten years. I mean you think so I think they're gonna try to stretch it out Yeah, because yeah, cuz nobody could really even get their hands on one until like two years ago, and then I'm just not ready for it to be like another six year thing where it's just kind of done.
Starting point is 00:23:46 No, I think this one, I think it'll be 2030 before we see it. Yeah, because they're still making PS4s. They'll do some hardware revisions, you know. The pro. Exactly. Yeah. I wanted to, because you mentioned X-Men and the X-Men games. And since we're talking about gimmick controllers and since we're talking about Kojima breaking the fourth wall, this
Starting point is 00:24:08 was a natural place to talk about the X-Men, Sega Genesis, Sega Mega Drive game. Heather, do you remember this game? It was just called X-Men. I think they released another one. And the thing in X-Men for Genesis is that there is a boss fight that has a computer that you have to destroy, and then you get a prompt to reset the computer. And the way you reset the computer is by pressing the reset button on your console. And so many kids, and I mean, not just kids, any gamers just had no idea that that was
Starting point is 00:24:42 the actual solution. And it's kind of like one of those shocking things. It was one of the earlier examples of just like actually using the hardware in a different way to solve a puzzle in game. But it's, I don't know, I think it's kind of awesome and then also kind of cruel at once. Because if you're normally playing one of those consoles,
Starting point is 00:25:01 16-bit or earlier, pressing the reset button with a lot of games that don't have any sort of save mechanism, it's just like your session is over. You're just starting it from scratch. And so, I don't know, but it's kind of cool that it exists. The second game, the sequel to that X-Men game is called X-Men 2 Clone Wars. Very cool. Nice. Very cool. Nice. Very fun.
Starting point is 00:25:26 But yeah, that's it for me. Who wants to go next? I'll go. I've got a brief update. Still playing Dogma. Still loving Dogma. Wow. Like sit down, have a little Dogma.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I'm gonna tell you, I haven't talked about it here on the show. The cooking of food, full motion video, like Blu-ray quality, like footage of just like meat on an actual fire, never not funny when you see it. Wow. It is so jarring and weird. It makes a per, it's a perfect home inside of a weird game
Starting point is 00:26:04 where I am now, I think, partied with Kratos, who is a berserker because I'm switching my, you know, you max out a level on a job and you can go to a different level and I saw that Thief had more mobility and I love mobility in a video game. So, but yeah, it's a, I don't know, it's a really pleasant game that I wish
Starting point is 00:26:28 I had more time to play. I also picked up, because I went camping last weekend and I brought my analog pocket, so I played a little bit of Chrono Trigger, which is I think my go-to cozy game. Hell yeah. Nice to, you know, ploop around in Chrono Trigger.
Starting point is 00:26:47 And then on the Fortnite front, as of the recording hit Diamond 2 in ranked mode. So I only have four more ranks left to get. Diamond 1 and then the final three ranks, which are not, it's like Elite, unreal, I don't remember them. I don't think there is a world in which I can get to the top rank, because I think that that rank
Starting point is 00:27:14 is going to be exclusively PC players. Sure, yeah, that makes sense. But I haven't ever just sat down and like tried to rank up in Fortnite, and it is making me such a better player. That rocks. It's making me have to adapt to a lot of different weapon styles.
Starting point is 00:27:34 They're doing Avatar, the last airbender tie-in right now. So there are earthbenders, airbenders, firebenders, and waterbenders with all of their exclusive powers, and that's a super fun time. Yeah. Fortnite remains lit, but dogma is my daily game. I just have to voice that I was disappointed when it wasn't Avatar, period.
Starting point is 00:28:00 And then I wanted to see a Navi running around in... Well, that's been leaked. Is it happening Yeah, it's gonna happen that you're gonna say I was disappointed when I found it wasn't Bender from Futurama I honestly who actually might be in work. I think he is By my shiny metal ass no scope It wasn't attempting to do an impression. I just wanted this I wasn't I know that I can't do it Yeah, you know John DiMaggio. He knows that he can't do it. He can do the Resident Evil merchant, but yeah
Starting point is 00:28:30 but I know there's a bridge too far. I can't be I can't be Bender, but um I met John DiMaggio before absolute prince just a fucking champ. I'm hoping that the Navi tie-in Like the power that you unlock because I'm hoping it the Navi tie-in, like the power that you unlock, because I'm hoping it's not just a straight skin, because that would be like, ugh. It'd be like, okay, you know, whatever. I'm hoping the Navi power makes you as big as a Navi
Starting point is 00:28:55 and gives you like super speed and super jumping. Oh yeah. Because that would be awesome. That'd be really, really good, and you should be able to plug in your ponytail into Anything But I mean like if you if you became a bigger target, but had better mobility and better jumping I think that that would be a great fortnight esque trade-off. Yes, that would be great I really hope they do it, but they there has been a avatar leak so it is coming
Starting point is 00:29:23 And then you can have the James Cameron trifecta or quadfecta on your squad. You can have the Terminator, you can have the Navi, you can have Ripley from Aliens, and you just need one more, right? I don't think he's got another one in there. What about when you get Ed Harris from The Abyss? I watched The Abyss again recently
Starting point is 00:29:44 and was stunned at how many movies it is. I've never seen it. Sure. It's great, but also feels like several movies. I like The Abyss a lot. I heard they did a recent re-release. I don't know if that's the one you watched, but I heard they kind of fucked up the presentation and it maybe has some, I just heard
Starting point is 00:30:08 it's like a bad release of it. Yeah, there's a lot of AI smoothing on all of the camera releases right now and I'm really bummed out about it, but there's always the 2K Blu-rays that look fantastic. He loves technology too much to not mess with it. He does. You see that shit, and it is the George Lucas problem, too
Starting point is 00:30:25 Just like why did you tweak this sign an American graffiti? You know you never had to touch this movie didn't have to go in and do some You know CG touch-up for a background for something you shot practically in the 70s whatever. Yeah Nick what are you playing Heather your? Advocacy for Dragon's Dogma 2 and as well as, your advocacy for Dragon's Dogma 2, and as well as the Discord talking about Dragon's Dogma 2, had me really thinking about playing Dragon's Dogma 2. And I was sitting there,
Starting point is 00:30:56 thinking of committing to this game. And I reinstalled Elden Ring. A wider fake out. I'm playing on PC instead of PS5 now. I'm starting a new character, Wiggs. I am going for a strength build as opposed to a faith build. I am playing as a Vagabond. And a big part of why I did this
Starting point is 00:31:17 is because of the looming DLC. And I was like, I'm gonna finish this motherfucker before the DLC hits. Although I have a hundred plus hours invested in this other character, I just know myself and I know how I play big games and how I approach things. I don't mind replaying a lot of this because it's an awesome game. So I'm just going to start a new character going a different direction and I'm going to have more vim and vigor for this playthrough if I'm starting fresh and it's like
Starting point is 00:31:46 one of the games of lifetime it's fucking it's fucking awesome and I'm really just excited to revisit all this and have some be starting early enough where I can put some put a lot of hours in before the DLC drops I was gonna offer I guess I was gonna offer on your behalf too, Heather, our services, should you need a squad, but I don't believe it's cross play. I don't think there's cross platform support. Oh, that's heartbreaking.
Starting point is 00:32:16 I would love to help you as my, and I recently, cause I was doing like a little project where I had to go back through a ton of photos, and I found clips from my Elden Ring time. And I was like, man, my character was ugly. Ugly, toilet armored piece of shit. I found clips of like just invading over and over and over again that I'd saved to my photo roll.
Starting point is 00:32:41 And boy, I missed those days. I'm excited about the DLC. Yeah, that's the thing. The Shadow of the Urge tree just like being on the horizon was like, if I'm gonna commit myself to playing a big, you know, create a character, run around and explore and kill things, you know, open world sort of game,
Starting point is 00:33:01 I think my time is better used restarting Elden Ring as opposed to playing Dragon's Dogma 2, although I remain intrigued by Dragon's Dogma 2. I think they're complimentary games, especially if you set up the controllers to be similar controller vibe. I think Dogma 2 would be like playing Elden Ring on super easy mode, super easy mode. What was the game we were the game we were playing where it had the default control, no, it was Final Fantasy 16. The default controls in Final Fantasy 16 were insane.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Isn't it like, isn't Jump like Triangle? It's so like all over the place, but that was a game when you, if you switched it to Souls-like controls, it felt a lot better. Yeah, Matt seems upset by this. There's going to be some Final Fantasy 16 shirts at Uniclo, and I truly cannot wait to buy them.
Starting point is 00:33:53 I'm glad you like it. Is it just 16? No, it's 16, 6, 14 and 1. What a weird set of games to choose. Yeah. 14, 6, 16 and 1. What a weird set of games to choose. 14, 6, 16, and 1. Yeah, I think those are all the ones represented in the collection. I think I understand it, right? Because it's like, you know, that 6 is the Super Famcom Super NES game that everyone is like, oh, that's the best of that era.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Yes. But no representation of the PS era or the PS2 era. That is strange, and I wonder if there's some weird licensing thing with Sony that prevented it or something. Final Fantasy X feels like one of those flagship games that it's always shirts of. I was always wondering, because when you're talking about the, at Seven Rebirth, not selling as well as remake, I mean, I'm sure there was a huge step down from Final Fantasy X to Final Fantasy X-2,
Starting point is 00:34:53 but that also was like not a game that had the same sort of scale behind it, right? So it's interesting. I don't know, because video game sequels oftentimes are assuming no prior knowledge of even the franchise going in. Like it's just like, hey, here's a game you can kind of start from here and take it from there.
Starting point is 00:35:16 So yeah, it is quite a gambit for Rebirth to just sort of like basically require you to finish remake. I mean, you don't. The thing is you kind of don't have to, but you should, because you need to know why these people know each other and what they're doing. And I think the feeling of like, I should is enough of a barrier.
Starting point is 00:35:34 And I also think that a lot of people who bought Final Fantasy VII Remake didn't finish it. Didn't finish it, or honestly, maybe even just like played it for a few hours and were just sort just happy to have it because it reminded them of their childhoods. Yeah. So, interesting. I think Cloud's too pretty.
Starting point is 00:35:52 He's too pretty to put on a shirt. I think he's so pretty that it's hard for people to like really feel comfortable playing the game. I'm pretty comfortable with it. Yeah. He's so pretty. Put him in that dress. His hair looks so good. Let's not even talk about his hair and his face. His muscles are great. His muscles are great. He's got a good
Starting point is 00:36:09 He's good-looking body. Yeah, I Love you cloud Don't get me started on Tifa You know who doesn't love Final Fantasy my dog You know who doesn't love Final Fantasy? My dog. Interesting. My dog, I told this story on the pod before. I pre-ordered the full-size Torgl puppy
Starting point is 00:36:33 before Final Fantasy 16 came out and put that dog down on the ground. And my dog, like, I've never seen my dog behave the way that my dog behaved towards Torgl, which is full attack and fear mode like body moving slowly, growling, but also freezing in place and then like backpedaling. She does not like Torgl.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Okay, so I just googled something because I wanted to read the Final Fantasy. the Final Fantasy 16 shirt that features Torgl on it, has the moon and him howling on it, and it says, escape this fate that we might one day look upon the moon again together. Really really good, but Googling that I learned that this collection is in celebration of the Pixel Remaster. Oh, well there you go. That makes sense. One in six being the book. Yeah, Final Fantasy 14
Starting point is 00:37:27 And which is still ongoing and and the right the biggest game of the franchise Yeah, and then they're their newest entry Final Fantasy. Oh, wow. There you go. I love it I love a Final Fantasy and some of the Kingdom, spelled T-I-E-R-S, for gimmick peripherals. Now look, we don't have specific requirements for this. But for me, the most important quality to be called a gimmick peripheral is specificity. So something again, like the aforementioned Resident Evil chainsaw controller,
Starting point is 00:38:18 that seems like a gimmick, but something like the Nintendo Zapper or the Super Nintendo Super Scope or the Namco GunCon, to me those all fit in the bucket of light gun, which is kind of a little bit more of a general category. Yeah, and then like something like the Guitar Hero controller, I would include, but for some reason I wouldn't include the drums
Starting point is 00:38:41 for like rock band, because that's part of a whole set and the guitar is first. Sure, I get that. Yeah, I think the Guitar Hero controller certainly is like the one of that era that maybe would be highlighted here. Other rules we should throw out there? Should we just get into it? Whatever I say goes. Okay, great. I have a rule. I want to start with this rule. I have a rule. Yeah. I wanna start with this rule. The Sega Activator gets F tier.
Starting point is 00:39:08 What's our lowest tier we got here? Can we add extra tiers? I can add another tier. We need an additional tier. Let's throw in an F tier, cause I think some of these attempts at motion sensing are just absolutely unusable. So yeah, probably an F tier.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Or I think what people like to do now is the RP tier, the role play tier. What does that mean? It's basically like, it's like, okay, if you're gonna pick a really shitty class in an RPG that's completely non-feasible for high level play, but you just want to role play as like a, you know, a conjurer or whatever the class is,
Starting point is 00:39:45 then that would go into an RP tier. Okay. Yeah. Well. We can call it F tier. I would like to open the discussion with the Sega Activator, which was a full body motion controller
Starting point is 00:39:56 for the Sega Genesis, a hexagon that you put on the floor of your house, apartment, basement, and then punched or kicked in various directions in order to control your onscreen character, this thing sucked. It sucked, it didn't register any movement. It was both ahead of its time
Starting point is 00:40:20 in terms of what it was attempting to do, and then behind the time in what anybody wanted to do with a, what do you, Matt's really happy about something. I don't know what he's happy about. Matt made a custom tier list here, and he's got a bunch of different thumbnails for like, that's like 80 controllers here, so I don't know if we're gonna get to all of these.
Starting point is 00:40:40 And also, I actually did make a mistake. I was happy because I had it up as a second display so that I could have my computer on my computer and then the tier list on the display, but then I realized that I can't see this. So I am going to convert it back to one screen. All right, so the Sega Activator, I open the conversation with F-tier, is a terrible device, it is gigantic,
Starting point is 00:41:12 it takes up an enormous amount of space. Oh no. If there's a strange delay in the podcast, what just happened is that Matt is trying to show us, Matt is trying to show us the tier list on the screen. For some reason, the television became active as a TV and showed us a closeup of a small dog eating a drumstick To like the celebratory music of like the end of a star wars
Starting point is 00:41:53 And then it went away, and I think we're all a little confused here in studio. What the fuck was that? Do you know or Sheldon? Oh? We're shelled you know I Thought we were gonna just have an edit point there, but I guess we're leaving it all in now I think maybe there is like a perhaps a live feed Oh got a TV, so we're just getting like cheddar TV or whatever the default like thing is of this device Yeah, I think it was cheddar TV got it. That's a real one Okay, I think I think the activator after your and while we're there Cheddar TV. Got it. That's a real one. Is it a real one? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:25 I think the Activator F tier, and while we're there, this naturally leads into another one, which was not an official Nintendo first party, but it was one for the NES that I believe was made by Broderbund. I think that was the, that was the manufacturer. It was $70 in 1989.
Starting point is 00:42:47 So this thing was over $100, maybe $150 by today's money. I bet that's a $200 peripheral. It might have been a $200 peripheral. It was a lot. And I'll just read some of this from a Luke Plunkett Kotaku article from 2011 entitled, don't touch this horror of an NES controller. Unlike Sega's rival activator peripheral, the U-Force was not a full body motion sensing rig.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Instead it was designed to read only the player's hands and arms translating their gestures into control pad inputs. So basically what it was was like a laptop, it basically looked like a laptop. It looks like a game of Battleship. Yes, yeah, but you would wave your hands in front of it to try to have it be read as inputs, as motion,
Starting point is 00:43:38 like a chop motion left to right or whatever in the console and it just also just did not fucking work and was stupid as shit. These are the kinds of things that I have. I have a lot of weird shit in my whole. And I like some of these, some of these devices I would keep around for like just the collectability of them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:06 But the Activator and the U-Force suck so much that to have them at all is just taking up space. Here's how badly the U-Force sucks. You can buy one on eBay today for 24.99. That's the one retro video game thing that they're like, you know what, that's fine. We don't gotta upcharge on that one. I think the Activator goes for about $115 on eBay.
Starting point is 00:44:34 If I remember from the last time I looked at Activator prices, because you know, once in a while, here, let's see how close I was. Let's look up Sega Activator on eBay and see how much they was let's look up act Sega activator on eBay and see how much They go for on eBay about a hundred hundred fifteen. Hey, there you go You're getting called down to the showcase showdown I think that's pretty good I don't know
Starting point is 00:44:58 so anyway Yeah, they they're a little bit more pricey, but no more successful at what they're trying to do. Okay, I'm realizing if we keep up at this pace, we're gonna be here till nine o'clock at night. Yeah, I did, we did, I had a list. Yeah. When we came into the studio, we doubled the list, and I'll just tell you right now,
Starting point is 00:45:19 there are a possible 39 entries that we simply cannot do. Let's keep going. Let's stay with this era the the the Power glove has been mentioned I believe And this was certainly of this sort of era This was an NES peripheral featured in the film the wizard and this was a Again had a similar sort of functionality. This is a glove that you wear everyone thought it was going to be awesome It fucking sucked my friend had one,
Starting point is 00:45:45 it was completely unusable. At best you could use the D-pad that was mounted on the wrist to kind of play a game, but there's no reason to use a silver default controller. I'm tempted to say F, but it's so much better than like the U-Force or the Activator. Here's what I'll give it. And it kind of looks cool.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Yeah, I was gonna say aesthet aesthetically, it looks cool. Yeah. And it looks cooler than a lot of these devices. I put it up in C then. Oh, no, C! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! C is so much higher than you thought you were gonna say.
Starting point is 00:46:14 D! All right, fine, D's fine. That was insane. Yeah. It doesn't work, but it looks cool. Might as well be S. Yeah, S, S tier. I would like to single out one of my favorite devices
Starting point is 00:46:29 on this list, which is also from the same era. It's a Game Boy, it's a Game Boy device. There was a cartridge that snapped into the Game Boy, and the game it played was a sonar screen. And the sonar was functioning sonar screen and the sonar was functioning sonar that you could use as a real world fishing peripheral. So you could bring your Game Boy out on a boat, hold it over the side of it, it was dangerous,
Starting point is 00:46:56 hold it over the side of the ship and you could spot fish underneath your boat. I think the fact that this thing worked at all makes it a C tier peripheral. Cause it's not really a game. No, but it is a weird peripheral, a gimmick. It is a weird gimmick that functioned. I wonder how much those go for.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I'd wanna, I can't, don't, I shouldn't buy anything. What are you gonna do with it? You gonna get out on a boat and look at fish Not oh god is it No, that's Bandai Gameboy fish finder pocket sonar game 240 bucks, okay pretty attainable still yeah on the higher end, but not not so bad
Starting point is 00:47:43 Yeah, not so bad, but not so good. No, you'd have to think about it before you bought it. For sure. Is that an insta-buy like the U-Force? Should we just keep blazing ahead? Should we stay in the era? I think let's jump forward and let's maybe do some weird controllers,
Starting point is 00:48:00 like things that were physical controllers. So first up, we got the Dragon Quest Slime. Now I've actually tried to use this thing a little bit. It's not crazy uncomfortable, but I would not want to use it for a longer gaming session. Does it have a texture to it, or is it like a, is it hard plastic? My memory is it's hard plastic.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Okay, I would want it to be like, almost like a racquetball, ball like a blue racquetball. Yeah, yeah rubbery I don't remember it being like squeezable, but I could be wrong there. I do like that. It looks like a slime It looks awesome, and I like that you know you can it's it's it's at least semi-functional when you flip it over It's also not uncomfortable to use. Yes. It's a circle that you hold and you play a video game using the circle. It's not great, not terrible.
Starting point is 00:48:52 And I think looks cute on a shelf is a big factor. Super cute. That goes a long way. And that makes me think this one is maybe a C tier. C tier? I'd go B tier for the slime controller. I might think B. All right, go up to B tier.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Cause the S tiers are gonna be so good. I don't know that there is an S tier on our list. I think there's- Oh, there's a, I feel there's an S tier. But I will say that the, yeah, maybe the standard for what is good here is just so low cause a lot of these things are just unusable, but interesting as we were saying earlier.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Also, there's also the Wu-Tang controller, which we're looking at, which is shaped like the Wu-Tang W. Now, I've never used this one. It looks uncomfortable, but I do like the idea behind it. It looks uncomfortable, but I do like the idea behind it Yeah, I There's no way that it feels good to hold. They're too close together You know you're kind of maybe like this and that doesn't seem like that's that good It's probably not that different than it's bringing the angle. I'm thinking of it is a concern. It's very reminiscent of the
Starting point is 00:50:01 Control paddles for the virtual boy and that you have a D-pad on one side, and on the Virtual Boy controller, you had a D-pad on the other side. This has four face buttons, but they are shaped directionally. So it's not quite two D-pads, but it's close enough that it feels adjacent to the Virtual Boy.
Starting point is 00:50:21 This was released by Activision for Wu-Tang Shaolin style for the PlayStation 1, apparently. I was looking for some more context on this one and I just found a Reddit comment from a ginbummy that says, big baby Jesus Christ, this controller is uncomfortable. Okay. Which makes me think this may be a D tier,
Starting point is 00:50:42 but it is kind of cool. I do like the way it looks. It looks great. Where do we want to go next? Okay, so we also have the, I guess we should just knock out the Resident Evil chainsaw controller while we're doing all these. Yeah, it's come up a lot. These kind of misshapen sort of semi-controllers. Miserable to hold that thing.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Yeah, for sure. Miserable to play a game, but it's by far the funniest thing on this entire board. It's super funny. I love that it exists. It really cannot be stressed enough. So miserable that when I was holding it to purchase it, I was like, I'm not going to do this and did not buy the Resident Evil chainsaw controller.
Starting point is 00:51:21 My uncle had this and the slime controller. That rocks. Wow. I don't think he used them, but he bought them. What a Chad, that rocks. The PS2 era was a big one for him. I would say. D, uncomfortable, but functional.
Starting point is 00:51:38 D, yeah, D's a good spot for it. What do we want, what's next? I think we should also, you know, also talking about Capcom weirdly shaping controllers, maybe one is a reaction to the other. I don't know exactly how they were sequenced chronologically, but the Katana controller for Onimusha 3, which the actual controller was on the handle. So you had this giant blade that was, giant blade that would have been weighted for the other end of it. So it's not really usable at all. But I do like-
Starting point is 00:52:10 Also, the buttons were to the right of the playing area. It was not laid out like a normal PlayStation controller. So it was also just like a completely different gameplay experience, but it's cool. again, you know as a shelf piece I think this is maybe also a D tier Well, maybe Resident Evil controller should be a C tier. I think I just think the chainsaw is so cool It's so hard to hold that fucking thing. It's so iconic. The guy is so cool the Chainsaw guy. Yeah, but what would you I mean one is a sword and one is a chainsaw, like sword is
Starting point is 00:52:45 also cool. Yeah, but I'm not afraid of the sword. You're afraid of that controller? No, I'm like if- Oh, you're afraid of the guy? I'm afraid of the guy. You're not afraid of a sword? The sword doesn't have blood on it.
Starting point is 00:52:58 Look at the- That's true. The chainsaw's all bloody. That's fair. You know what does have blood on it? Your hands. Everyone just settle down. Let's get on with the tier list.
Starting point is 00:53:10 There's no blood on my hands. This is just ketchup. I had a fish delight. There is a YouTube series that pitches our former presidents as a host. And maybe possible future as hosts of Tier like tier list breakdowns using AI voices. Yeah, the boys are obsessed with the series I mean, it's maybe as good as comedy gets it's unfortunately in I don't think AI Should replace comedy writers, but this is a strong case. They're really, really
Starting point is 00:53:46 good. Every single one of these is good. Hey, these are written by people. That is true. The voices are AI, not the writing. Yeah, the voices are AI. The writing could never. Okay, so we did the sword. Oh, did we get? Okay, there were a couple of weird-ass Namco ones of this era. Okay, so we had the, first off, this one one I actually owned the Namco Joy-Con.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Now I bought this when I, I got this, I imported Ridge Racer type four, I believe, which this was bundled with. Um, and I got it from the import shop and no game, just the controller. And my attempt, uh, to try to get the game replaced was with a customer service in another country was completely a fool's errand. So unfortunately, I just had the jogcon for a time. The jogcon didn't really work. The idea was it was meant to be a better way.
Starting point is 00:54:42 It was like there were VCR and DVD remotes that had this functionality where you kind of spun something to menu through it, to go through menus or whatever, or to rewind or fast forward. So the idea was here was for, it was for driving purposes. The thing is, it was just completely inferior to a wheel I think this one probably ends up in D tier. I think there are maybe are some fans of this but I don't know
Starting point is 00:55:14 Along those lines was the Namco nega con which was another one which had a it was like a normal controller but it had a a Spot in the middle where you could turn for like an approximation of motion control I'm describing it poorly it says here that it would say a lot of mean things about you in order to get you to fall in love with it This is okay imagine here's how I would imagine it. You've got two mason jars. Hold on, no, I think I can do this.
Starting point is 00:55:51 You got two mason jars and you hold them end to end so that the lids touch. And then, what, what, what, that made you shiver? It's giving me a little bit of like a, I don't know. Yeah, kind of that metal on metal sort of like grating thing. Glass on glass, yeah. Well, okay. I don't know what other-
Starting point is 00:56:12 I'm following your analogy. I'm following it too. So lid to lid, two mason jars, and you can twist them in opposite directions in order to play a video game, put a couple of surface buttons and a D-pad on it, and that's the NegCon. Sucks.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Yeah, I never used the NegCon as opposed to the JogCon, but it looked like it sucks, and everything I've read about it is that it was not a fun experience. We putting this in F? I think it's a D-tier because it theoretically functions. Okay. F-tier is saved for two of the worst things ever made if you were if you
Starting point is 00:56:46 Wanted to just use this as a normal controller for a game you could it has it has shoulder buttons It has face buttons. It has a d-pad. You know so I think it's I Want to put I want to put two controllers on the board that are? I'm gonna put two controllers on the board that are simultaneously, because I think they're effectively the same controller. One is the microphone adapter for the Dreamcast controller and one is the microphone adapter for Hey You Pikachu
Starting point is 00:57:15 for the N64. We played Seaman on this show and it was startling that it worked. It was delightful that it worked. It was delightful that it worked. It wasn't perfect. Like this is, you know, 1999 tech, but the Dreamcast microphone functioned and allowed you to play.
Starting point is 00:57:39 And I think the same is true for Hey You Pikachu. So I'm gonna put these voice activated controllers, I'm gonna pitch all the way up at B tier. I'm gonna go back to the Nagcon real quick. Oh, okay. Because first of all, I just, I was looking for a little bit more context or looking for some first-hand accounts of using this thing.
Starting point is 00:58:05 This is from James Mackenzie's blog and James writes, I recently acquired a Namco, apparently it's pronounced Negicon or Negicon controller. Something I've been seeking for a while. It's a controller that uses a twist mechanic to simulate driving. So there's a bunch of just accounts of playing games like Ridge Racer, Ridge Racer Type 4, Wipeout, Crash Team Racing, a lot of racers had support for the NegiCon. And apparently, the conclusion that James gets to is, looking back, I really like this controller. It harks back to an era where there's still experimentation
Starting point is 00:58:50 with controller designs. In some ways, it's better than what we have today. If you can get one for cheap, it's definitely worth picking up this one of a kind controller. That to me puts it at least in C tier. The idea that someone's like, hey, this is actually pretty fun to use.
Starting point is 00:59:02 All right, let's do it. All right, great. There we go. Did you agree with my ranking on the mics? I do, yeah, actually pretty fun to use all right. Let's do it all right great There you go. Did you agree with my ranking on the mics? I do yeah, I did my sir good cool Yeah, no that that it works at all with seaman and also just like it's just an interesting thing They tried should we also while we're standing in dreamcast country should we talk about the VMU? Which I guess I think qualifies for this. I don't know. I like the VMU. I think it is good. I think versus the competitors here, it is A-tier. I think it's better than everything else that we've gone through so far. My issue with the VMU is it never quite lived up to my expectations for it. I want it to be more fun to use on its own. It was not fun enough on its own. It's not an S-tier product.
Starting point is 00:59:45 The battery life was abysmal. But the most recent VMU release that I purchased, which was like a third party redeployment of the VMU with a USB-C charging backlit LCD screen, I was like, this is the potential of the VMU and it feels like an S tier device. So the fact that it doesn't quite live up to it, A tier. But if somebody had made that game
Starting point is 01:00:15 that worked great with the fucking VMU and you carried that shit to school with you and like would play it like in between passing periods or whatever the fuck you call it when you move from class to class. That would be an awesome thing to have in 1999. I think the only argument maybe against A-Tier is like, does this belong on this list? Is this really a gimmick control? I guess it is unique enough to the Dreamcast, which itself is such a weird quirky anomalous system. Rochelle, have you ever heard of a VMU?
Starting point is 01:00:45 So for context for any of our listeners who aren't familiar with this, it was the Dreamcast controller had a slot. A VMU was bundled with it, right? Yeah, no, with the original Dreamcast? I feel like it came in box. It was a separate purchase? I think it was a separate purchase.
Starting point is 01:01:01 So it was a small, like it was a small like smaller than a You know about half the size of a cell phone a typical cell phone these days this big yeah Device that would slide into a slot in the top of your controller your your dreamcast controller Which was more like a conventional Xbox or PlayStation controller it had a screen on it And it had its own controls on it So you could you could slide it into the the Dreamcast controller and you could use it as a secondary screen while you're playing games. Just a very simple, you know, not a lot of pixels, black and white screen, two color screen, and then
Starting point is 01:01:37 you could also take it on its own and use it as like kind of a mini gaming handheld. Yeah, it was a tiny little guy. That's so small. Yeah, very small, but very cool. Glad they made it, glad they tried. Too bad it bankrupted. And then they had to stop making things forever. They shipped the Dreamcast with,
Starting point is 01:01:58 I remember I think it was like 30 feet of phone cable because every Dreamcast had a modem that came with it. And it was the sort of thing that was at once like this is such a big swing but also just like slightly off because ethernet and Wi-Fi was like about to like completely you know take over the dial-up make dial-up irrelevant. Anyway let's keep going. Should we do, I mean, what are some big ones that we should hit for sure? The trance vibrator for Rez on the PlayStation 2
Starting point is 01:02:31 slash Dreamcast was a non-controlling device that plugged into your second port and vibrated in time with the video game itself. I want to specify the second port of the PlayStation 2. Jesus Christ. I mean, you could plug it in your second port. It allowed for a tactile experience of the game's visuals and audio.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Nobody ever really clarified what it was. It is a vibrator. It's like a vibrator. But like, are you supposed to hold it? No, like, cause you're holding the controller. Yeah. I think, I remember reading, I think you're supposed to have it next to you, right? I don't know. Put it in your mouth. Yeah, this is a risky Google on my work computer. What was the Trans Vibrator for in Rez? This is a Reddit post. PSA, do yourself a favor. Use
Starting point is 01:03:44 Trans Vibrator mode in Rez Infinite yourself a favor. Use Trans Vibrator mode in Res Infinite. So the trans vibrator was approximated or was emulated in Res Infinite. You could use the rumble function in your controller to recreate what it was like. Have multiple controllers? Great. Have four? Even better. Turn all of them on, log them in as guests and go to options in Res Infinite and turn
Starting point is 01:04:03 on Trans V vibrator mode. Strategically place controllers around you. I was in a seated position on my bed with one on my left hip, one on right hip, and one on legs. Enjoy and let the vibrations pass over you. So this is for absolute freaks. I'm gonna.
Starting point is 01:04:16 I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I don't know what to do with it, having no hands on experience with it. I think it's so, I think it having no hands-on experience with it
Starting point is 01:04:26 I think it's so I think it's one of those things where it's look the name is funny. It's great that it exists I like like I like these things when they're weirder and when they're you know trying to do something That other people haven't thought of and I think the idea of like a rhythmic force feedback that other people haven't thought of. And I think the idea of like a rhythmic force feedback that maybe also gets you horny, to me that's like a maybe a C tier, maybe a B tier. I mean the thing that we're not talking about is any of these can make you horny.
Starting point is 01:04:58 That's true, Matt. Any of them. No, that's true. This one does it on purpose, but. Right. Should we do, what if we just took a slight detour? Since we're in sort of a rhythm section, why don't we go to some of these more musical peripherals?
Starting point is 01:05:16 I love it. Let's start with the Samba de Amigo Maracas. I'm going to put this in A tier just to leave room in S tier. I love the Samba de Amigo Maracas. I think they're so cool. I'm gonna put this in A tier just to leave room in S tier. I love the Samba de Amigo maracas. I think they're so cool. I think they're so fucking, it's just, they made a maracas game and they made a home version of it
Starting point is 01:05:33 that has controllers that you shake and that position. They were super fun to use. One item I wish I still had, but I think that's just like, it's so dreamcast that they made these. And the thing about maracas is that I dare you to not have fun shaking a maraca. They're really, really fun. Here's the other thing is that they released
Starting point is 01:05:56 a Samba de Amigo game recently for the Switch that uses the Joy-Con, and everyone's like, I don't fucking want, where's my fucking maracas? my maracas and that to me speaks to this make this this peripheral makes this game and from a gimmick We're gimmicky standpoint. I think that puts it in a tier absolutely. That's really really good call How about the donkey Konga bongos now? This is what I think? Belongs an s-tier yeah, this is really good the DK bongos are awesome, and the reason they belong in S tier is not the Donkey Kong game. It is because of Donkey Kong Jungle Beat.
Starting point is 01:06:35 Oh wow. Donkey Kong Jungle Beat, the platformer that you control with the bongos. They came up with a second game that is not a rhythm game. It is a rhythm game of sorts, but it plays differently and exploits the gimmick controller's functionalities and it mechanically in a different way. I think this is like one of the best of these. I just, I love this.
Starting point is 01:07:03 I think it belongs best here. It's really good. And the fact that they look like the barrels from these. I just, I love this. I think it belongs best here. It's really good. And the fact that they look like the barrels from Donkey Kong is really, really true. The aesthetic is great. Yeah, it's a classy toy style peripheral that works as intended and worked on multiple games. Whereas like the maracas,
Starting point is 01:07:21 I don't think you can use the maracas on other games I don't think that the trance vibrator works on other games Yeah, the maracas are like there. I'm sure you can find someone who like, you know beat Dark Souls with the maracas I just like but that's like that's not the intended purpose. But the fact that they got three games I think the guy I think it was three games out of out of the DK bongos is great and three games, I think it was three games out of the DK bongos is great. And let's do, how about we do the Dance Dance Revolution dance pad.
Starting point is 01:07:55 This is frustrating because you wanted it to work better than it did. Yes. Because Dance Dance Revolution is so much fun. I think part of the problem with the dance dance floor mat is that it slips. And more like aesthetically, you like that the dance dance revolution at the arcade lit up.
Starting point is 01:08:14 It was fun to have it light up. And it's like, you know, it's like, it's substantial. It's like you're saying, it's not a pad that's gonna slip around on your hardwood floor. And there's something about stomping on a big machine versus stomping on your floor, basically. For some reason to me, floor hurts. Well, the other thing too is that that's just like,
Starting point is 01:08:40 this becomes an apartment issue, or this becomes, you know, like depending on your house situation like you're bothering your parents downstairs issue like just like it's it's not great for multiple floor dwellings when we were doing the old format yeah, I bought a Christian dance dance revolution that we never did and I still have it somewhere. It's just in my house. So we should bring it in here We should bring it in here yikes. Yeah Anyway, so what do we want to put this? This is like C. Maybe uh
Starting point is 01:09:14 D I don't know I D tier seems harsh because you can't even use that fucking katana. Okay C tier it is It's a C tier. It's functional the guitar hero guitar all right I think there's a real case for s tier here Yeah, I do too you can beat millennia with the guitar hero controller and that kind of rocks well one can I certainly can yeah But it's a cool thing that a human being can do I think that it's like the best human beings among yes I think the first off the game it, at least the original guitar heroes play so fucking well with it. It's fun in the way you want a fake, cheap mini guitar to be.
Starting point is 01:09:57 I don't know. I think it completely serves its purpose. I think there's a case for S.T.E. I think it's an easy S.T.E. Yeah. I think there's a case for S tier. I think it's an easy S tier coming as well. Yeah, I think the fact that Fortnite has a musical rhythm game now built into base Fortnite. And they're talking about bringing out guitar hero style controllers again
Starting point is 01:10:18 means that not only was this functional, it's iconic. I missed the pre-order for the PD PDP riff master and I'm I'm Furious I'm so mad. I was ready to spend a hundred and twenty dollars Wow And I'm not a lot. I'm not able to but we'll see what happens I realize we could probably have just made our lives easier and done a rhythm game controllers list There's so many others already so fucking many. Yeah This the last one but also like the way the way strumming works, right? Yeah, the strumming is really well implemented It's a well-designed piece of hardware and that game and that franchise does not work without the hardware
Starting point is 01:10:55 The thing about it that's great too Is that it works in the way you think a guitar works, right? Where it's it's not a one-to-one simulation, of course Yeah, but it functions in the way that you would want it to and you feel awesome if you do well Yes, and finally the DJ Do I ever say I failed a bark at the moon? At 99% on guitar hero fucking that sucks crushing losses ever sounds like a skill issue unfortunately Sucks crushing losses that sounds like a skill issue unfortunately
Starting point is 01:11:33 Finally the in the in the rhythm section here the DJ hero Turntable controller I have this still It is bad it it works fine it is It works fine, it is decently fun to play, but it is nowhere near as good as Guitar Hero or a rock band. You look like a big loser doing this, unfortunately. There is, whereas like, you can kinda look like you're having fun playing guitar,
Starting point is 01:12:01 rocking out with your friends. You had to buy a second one of these if you wanted to play two player, and you weren't gonna do that. So my experience of this was doing this by myself, having it sit on my lap and look like a big loser. Wow. This is one of the most pathetic things that I own.
Starting point is 01:12:20 I'm gonna go ahead and put this in the S tier, just kidding. Uh, this is a C tier to me. It, and it's you know it's I have no Nostalgia to bust it out like I do guitar hero also, I recuse myself from this because I did work on a Game that ended up several iterations later becoming DJ hero Wow that ended up several iterations later becoming DJ Hero. Wow. Since the company it was studios at was acquired by Activision and that was what it got
Starting point is 01:12:49 merged with another product and turned into this. I do know that from one of the creators, it was like a true labor of love. I'm sure. And it really came from like a passion for like, I guess DJing is what you would call it. It really came from that side of loving that culture and wanting to create a video game version of it
Starting point is 01:13:13 in the same way that Guitar Hero was. But yeah, when it actually came out, I had no interest in actually playing it. Nick's words have moved me, I'm putting it in the B tier. Aww. And the reason I didn't wanna play it is because I was like, oh yeah, I worked on this weird thing that- Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:30 Many years ago and just have a weird relationship with it. I have a nominee for another S tier item on our list. Let's hear it. The Wii Fit controller. You mean the balance board? Yes. I do like the balance board. Yeah, fuck it, put it in an S. What are we fucking doing?
Starting point is 01:13:45 Put that in an S tier. This was like the biggest selling, like one of the biggest selling games of its generation was Wii Fit with balance board. It did exactly what it meant to do. I did that fucking balance board for more than two years. Like every fucking day because I would get guilted by the game if I didn't do it, but also it made me slightly more fit. Like fucking it worked. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:07 Um, Oh, I realized I didn't upload the, uh, the ring fit. Should we add the ring fit in there as well? Yeah, let's throw a ring fit in there. Yeah. Throw, throw a ring fit in there. We did ring fit adventure on our podcast and, um, it also works and it exhausts you, surprisingly, given that it is a ring. My buddy Nick Ross, I remember saying,
Starting point is 01:14:36 way you recently got married, congratulations. Hello. Somebody checks out the show. The, that he. Hello. Hello. He got really into Ring Fit and got into really good shape. So I think that one does what it's supposed to do.
Starting point is 01:14:52 I would maybe put that in A tier. I was thinking A. Less, yeah, it's a little funky. It's ultimately less fun. Less fun, yeah. Yeah. All right, where do we go next? We got Skylanders in here?
Starting point is 01:15:07 I wasn't sure. I think Skylanders is good, I think it belongs here. I think, because there's also, I didn't put the Lego Dimensions one, there's a Lego one that is very similar to this, but I thought if we're gonna put Amiibo in here, that Skylanders is like the next one. Is Amiibo on here?
Starting point is 01:15:22 I have Amiibo on here. Amiibo is on here. Where do we put Amiibo? I mean amiibo on here. Where do you put amiibo? I'm putting amiibo in S tier. Well, I can make a case for A, because the stuff that you get from them is not that worth it. That's the issue. It's more like it's more just about
Starting point is 01:15:37 that the figures are cool. The figures look really good. The actual in game functionality I don't think is warrants in S tier. When I went to the Nintendo store in New York City, they had a display of every single amiibo. And never in my life have I ever wanted to plan a heist. I wanted to take them all. I wanted those all to be mine.
Starting point is 01:15:58 They are very, very attractive. attractive, the build and quality control on the models themselves. Like they look like it's, you know, when you get an action figure of like Star Wars or something, like the eyes are slightly painted in the wrong place. Yes. Like none of that ever happens on an Amiibo. And if it does, it just increases the value of it. Because it's like, oh shit, I got got a I got a Bowser that has no eyes. I have a I Have a Han Solo
Starting point is 01:16:31 That the head is a little bit chewed because it was mine when I was a little like baby Wow And I chewed on his little head which was not safe I think Skylanders. I don't really care about as the thing, so I feel like I can't rate it appropriately. I think if you were too old for it, we were definitely too old for it. I thought about getting into it at a certain point, it's like, I don't think I wanna,
Starting point is 01:16:54 something where I'm gonna buy a bunch of $30 figures. I feel like we should also put another Nintendo first party controller swing on this, which is the Nintendo Labo, which is so fucking amazing that it works, but ultimately you feel like you're going to destroy the thing that you've made. Like I built the piano and I was like, holy shit,
Starting point is 01:17:17 the piano works, it's like a little model kit of cardboard that I put together and I can actually play, amazing. Every time I touch a key I'm like, oh my God, did I break it? And that is not enjoyable. Nick's is, if Nick had this, it'd be at risk for getting soggy from getting spilled on. How dare you? Soggy cardboard Weiger.
Starting point is 01:17:36 I haven't spilled once this record. Did we record an episode beforehand? Don't worry about it. Yeah. I think we put this in A tier because of the raw creativity I think we put this in A tier because of the raw creativity and joy of putting the things together, but it is not an S tier device because you're afraid of it.
Starting point is 01:17:58 You're talking about the Labo? Yeah, the Labo. Labo? Can I ask you something? I know you're just talking positively about this. Do you like it? See tear Like I feel like the thing I hear about it most is that it is interesting, but nobody I know likes it
Starting point is 01:18:13 Yeah, yeah, you're totally right fucking bullseye me I Also feel you're just looking at this scope I Just had a I had a I had an assumption. I had a theory. I had a working theory that I wanted to test out. Nobody I know that has this likes it. I don't like it and I resent that I have it. Yeah, your words are gonna break it. I hate it, I hate that I have a drawer that is only Labo
Starting point is 01:18:36 and I can't do anything with it because I'm afraid of it. Is it more D tier then honestly? As just sort of kind of like a cool curiosity which is what seems what D tier is turned into but it fucking Keep it in C tier. I trust your judgment. I do kind of feel like just looking back at this now I think the joy con is too low. I'd move the joy con up one two because that's again That's a functional jog con rather that's a functional controller the Namco controller with the little disc in the middle, okay? Okay, let's keep going here
Starting point is 01:19:04 Do we have a hey, speaking of Nintendo, do we have the NES Power Pad on this? That's maybe missing. The Power Pad is missing. The Power Pad sucks. I did not like the Power Pad. Did you ever use that, Heather? I still own my Power Pad.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Here's the thing about the Power Pad. It was fun to use once, and also I remember kids at school talking about the trick of how you could win track and field by getting on your hands and knees and drumming really quickly on the two things that were supposed to be running on. So like it was like two buttons that you could you were supposed to be like running in place left and right to win to run in traffic and field. Do you think instead you could drum on them. Anecdotally, that got back to Nintendo and then it inspired the Donkey Kong-a-Bongos. It's possible. I mean, I do also think that this was just like a very, kind of one of those very early
Starting point is 01:19:57 Nintendo efforts that, you know, 20, 30 years later becomes the balance board. I think the power pad is dangerous. I think it is. You slip all over the fucking place. It's definitely more slippery than the dance pad. You have to wear socks to do it, or you'll damage the internals. So you're wearing socks on a slippery pad on a slippery surface.
Starting point is 01:20:21 Fucking power pad was dangerous. D tier. Also needlessly two-sided. Yeah. Cause one side had, you know, what was it? It was like four by three, right? I had like 12 buttons and the other side just remove the corner buttons.
Starting point is 01:20:37 So I was like, why did you do one that has, you know, 12 pads and another one that has eight pads? It's just, why would you ever use the eight pad side? Fishing controller for the Dreamcast. It looks really cool, unfortunately. It fucking rules. It's cool. It rules.
Starting point is 01:20:56 It's cool that this exists. I think this is, you could maybe put this, some bitch up an A tier. It's an A tier controller because you're like, you enjoy turning it. I think... What's the official name for this? It was like the Bass Pro Fishing...
Starting point is 01:21:10 What the hell is it called? The Bass Bastard. The... Bass Fishing Controller. It was the Bass Bastard. There were multiple games it worked with too. Yeah. No, this is cool.
Starting point is 01:21:27 It might have just been called the Sega Dreamcast fishing rod. Huh, how about that? But yes, there was a bass fishing and then get bass. There is also the Nintendo 64 rumble rod made by Madcatz. I didn't use the rumble rod. It's hard to put a mad cats anything about here. Yeah
Starting point is 01:21:47 But man, I like that fishing controller for the for the dreamcast. I think I still have mine It's as I feel like mad cats as kind of like for the longest time. They're like Oh, it's the shitty controller like you had your your friends had like you know three regular N64 controllers one mad cats controller, and then, three regular N64 controllers, one Mad Catz controller, and then one person would get stuck with that one. But I feel like they've, they, am I wrong? Have they made some decent stuff in recent years? All my memory cards growing up for like PlayStation and PlayStation 2 were Mad Catz ones because they were all- Oh, Matt, you gotta go first party with
Starting point is 01:22:22 the memory cards. What are you doing? They were, were fine. They worked fine for me, but it was only because fire they were Just a little bit cheaper than the the first part. No, I I understand the Reasons economically for going for those but it's just like oh man. Those those ones will get corrupt I did have a clear green one for the PlayStation one. I remember I remember that being you know, like Clear was so hype. Clear was really good. I did like Clear for a time. It was either green or like a dark gray,
Starting point is 01:22:50 like a green gray kind of situation. I would like to shout out the Game Boy camera as an A tier device. Where does the Game Boy printer go? Fucking D tier. But it's cool that they made a printer. Yeah, but. I think it's, well, I guess it's maybe D tier. It sucks though, it's really bad. Yeah, but it's cool that they made a printer. I think it's, well, I guess it's pretty DT.
Starting point is 01:23:06 It sucks though, it's really bad. But it's funny. The Game Boy camera is, not only is it a pleasurable device to use, but it's got such a good aesthetic that people still use it, still take photos with it. Like, there are people still modding the Game Boy camera to work with DSLR lenses and one of the things that I've purchased in the last few years was a
Starting point is 01:23:35 basically a memory card that tricked the Game Boy into thinking it was the printer. So you could print your photos from a Game Boy onto this memory card and then export them onto a regular computer. That has become redundant now with the analog pocket, which you can save the Game Boy camera pictures to, but ugh, it's so good. Do we say C or D for this? D, D tier for the printer, A tier for the camera.
Starting point is 01:24:06 Yeah, my only argument for moving the Gameboy printer up to C tier would be that it's funny, which is not a good reason. So leave it in D. For a funny one, how about the Tony Hawk Ride skateboard? I love that it exists. I love Tony Hawk. I think everybody that got this said it sucks, Yeah, it is not good. Nobody likes this nobody I think this is a
Starting point is 01:24:29 This could be in the F probably I think it I've only heard terrible things about the ride controller I have no personal experience with it I'm you know reticent to put it in the F tier, but also I have no argument against it No, I think it's a chance for a bet. I think F tier is harsh. Okay. We're talking about things that just don't work. Then I'll put it in the D tier.
Starting point is 01:24:53 I think probably D tier is the place for this. Wow. How are we feeling? I know that maybe we're running close on time here. Let's keep blazing, we can keep going. Okay, look, a robotic operating buddy, Rob. Here's the thing, it sucked to use, my friend had it, a Gyromite was basically unplayable,
Starting point is 01:25:12 the other fucking shitty game that they had. They just, it sucked, but it looks cool and it's in Smash Brothers. I think it's B tier, honestly. B tier? I think it might be B tier. No, it's C tier. C tier's fair. C tier for Rob, it doesn't work. It doesn't work, but. B tier? I think it might be B tier. No, it's C tier. C tier's fair.
Starting point is 01:25:25 C tier for Rob, it doesn't work. It doesn't work, but- But it looks so fucking cool. It looks so cool and it's become like an unofficial Nintendo mascot, which I like. Yeah. Good job, Rob. You did it.
Starting point is 01:25:37 You did it, Rob. And if you knew anybody who, and I didn't, who had the full NES, like super, whatever they called the one that came with Rob, it was like, oh my God, those are rich people. Yeah, it'd be the, cause I remember I had a friend that had that. It was like the bundle that came with Rob, and it came with the NES Zapper, the light gun,
Starting point is 01:25:59 and two controllers, and like a pack-in game, it was like three games on one cartridge or whatever my uncle had Rob and his after Wow and the thing that I Do have to call out is that he was the third child and sort of a miracle So he was spoiled like as a little nice so he for sure had the Rob and I remember him showing me when he was Obviously older than me, and I was a little kid. He didn't show me Rob and me thinking this looks like it sucks Not a little kid not interested in a robot I was like, I don't know about this But that's that's quite an indictment. Yeah Should we do the GameCube controller that is a keyboard for Phantasy Star Online?
Starting point is 01:26:46 It works. It's great. It's funny, too. It's very funny. It's a little bit cumbersome, but I think it's cool that it exists. Maybe put this in B tier with the Dragon Quest slime. Yeah, B tier. Why not?
Starting point is 01:27:00 B tier. I want to say another one of these peripherals is the Sega Master System 3D glasses. Oh, sure. Which I did have as a kid, and they gave me nightmares. Because the game that you played was called Missile Defense 3D, and it was a game where the Russians had declared nuclear war on the United States,
Starting point is 01:27:22 and there were missiles that flew out of your television towards you, and you had to shoot them with the light gun before they detonated in the United States and killed everybody. So it was a overwhelming three-dimensional experience for a child trying to save humanity. But they worked. What? C-tier? C-tier. This one I've never used. But they worked. What? C tier? C tier.
Starting point is 01:27:47 This one I've never used. I just know its reputation. The Amiga Joyboard. So this was made by Amiga but not for the Amiga computer. For that hardware was actually made for Atari 2600 and 7800 It was akin to a Wii balance board and everything I've read is that There was like one game that supported it And it was basically unusable. I think this is an F tier F tier. Yeah, put it in the F But it would be a cool thing to own virtual on controller. I look
Starting point is 01:28:24 This is so dumb. This is one of those Dreamcast things. This one, look, I'm just maybe sounding like I'm completely contradicting myself. Came out for the Dreamcast. There was, again, exactly one game that supported it, a home port of Virtual On. But I do think it's, Virtual On is so fun to play
Starting point is 01:28:41 in the arcade with those twin sticks. And even though I didn't play, I didn't use the controller for the Dreamcast, I think it's kind of cool that it exists. It works, it's good. I think B tier. B tier. I think Skylanders, I just don't think,
Starting point is 01:28:54 maybe it's our purview here. I think maybe let's just take that off of the list. That's out. Okay, what else we got? Oh, we got the Time Crisis Pedal. Now this was just like a third party, look, a third party device that I actually didn't't have I did have the namco gun con I
Starting point is 01:29:09 Like the time crisis pedal mechanic. I don't know how this particular pedal works, but I like that they made it I'd maybe say slide it into C tier just based off of Time crisis was a shooting game that had a duck-and-cover mechanic And so you would step on a pedal to go behind or out. You toggle the pedal in order to come in and out of cover. And it was a really, really satisfying thing to play at the arcade. When it was brought to the home ports, you needed to have a gun and a pedal in order to emulate that experience.
Starting point is 01:29:43 And this was the pedal. I feel like one rogue step on this snaps it in half. That's the thing. It looks cheap. You wish there was an official Namco first party one, because the GunCon is like the best light gun that was ever released. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:55 That was awesome. By the way, this is just reminding me, y'all may know Kyle Bosman. He's a comedian and does a lot of video game commentary and is a very successful YouTuber. Final Bosman. But he used to do sketches and bits around the Upright Citizens' Theater in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 01:30:16 I once saw him do a bit. And I apologize, Kyle, for describing your bit secondhand, because it obviously would play better if you say it, but it was so funny, and it was him calling his friend and telling him he just saw Joe Pesci playing Time Crisis, and then having to explain both who Joe Pesci is and what Time Crisis is. That's so funny.
Starting point is 01:30:42 That's unbelievable. That's a great bit. I love that. That's a great bit. I love that. That's a great fucking bit. I wanna shout out the Wii bowling ball, which was, for those of us who played Wii bowling, but were like, hey, it's weird that I'm holding a stick
Starting point is 01:30:59 when I'm supposed to be bowling a ball. This was a bowling ball that you then could, look, I just think this is an accident waiting to happen. I was gonna say, I wish I had data for how many of these went through televisions or windows. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so much that they had to like create a condom for the thing. Yes, yeah. Yes, yeah. It came with a wrist strap, so you weren't supposed to, but nobody was putting on the wrist strap. They were just throwing them through the television.
Starting point is 01:31:31 In the same way that like when the year seat belts became mandatory, people were like, I'm not doing that, and just like flew through their windshields when they were getting in car accidents. The Wii condom sucked so much, I refused to put one on any of my controllers because I'm not a maniac when I'm playing a game. I made a very similar argument about something else too,
Starting point is 01:31:51 and did not go over as well. The, yeah. I'm not a maniac, but I fuck! It's crazy in hindsight, and I think it happens with the Joy-Conscons too of just how many people put those wrist straps on incorrectly and I'm trying to remember how to even do it. It's got one of those like- The little pinch.
Starting point is 01:32:15 Yeah, the pinch thing that you slide up and- Right, people would put the wrong side of the pinch so it would happen. And the pinch is up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it would just like completely have no, it wouldn't be tether dearest at all. They'd be fools Yeah, you know the more I'm looking at this put the right I hate to do it to Tony Hawk but put the right into F because again, that's gonna that's gonna hurt somebody and I Think kind of there's some nice synergy with stuff that you stand on or move your body towards and they all don't really work
Starting point is 01:32:40 Yeah, it's not his fault. He's not his fault. No, he didn't make it but the Wii bowling ball Is a D tier item. It works, but do you want it to? What is the Naruto headband thing that's on our tier list? This is, I think it's called the Atari Star Link or something? Oh yes, okay hold on. This was the Atari Mind Link. Mind Link. And this was never actually released. Let me read this little bit about the Atari MindLink
Starting point is 01:33:09 from redbull.com of all places. Okay. While Kinect makes your whole body the controller, Atari's MindLink set out to make your mind the controller instead. A set of controllers and software who were combined together to create the Atari MindLink system,
Starting point is 01:33:24 a combo headband with an infrared transmitter and receiver, the system could hook up to your Atari VCS 2600, Atari 7800, and Atari home computers and will let you control on-screen action with your mind. Unfortunately, it was never released." So this is just like someone's idea that was obviously completely unworkable. I mean, I think this is an easy F tier. Yeah, it's an easy F tier. I think it's interesting knowing that it's the Mind Link that the Neuralink is like a
Starting point is 01:33:52 current device being, I don't know, conned around town by the same guy who made a car where the gas pedal gets stuck underneath the, anyway. But it's wild to me that it's called the Neuralink, being that this was the Mind Link. And that the Neuralink's first proof of concept use was playing Mario Kart. It makes me wonder how much of it is inspired by this, like the memories of this device.
Starting point is 01:34:24 Well, it's not the first idea that's been stolen by this man, so I think it's possible that he's just ripping it off. Yeah. He thinks it's cool. Sounds like a strong candidate for a potential third season of Doctor Death. You all see Doctor Death? I didn't.
Starting point is 01:34:42 Pretty good. What is it, like a guy who dies? It's a doctor. It? Like a guy who dies? It's a doctor. It's about a doctor who dies. No, it's a podcast that then was turned into a dramatized series and it's an anthology series. One season is about a guy who, I can't remember what his thing is.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Oh, he does bad spinal surgeries and like get like makes people worse or like kills people And then it's like his thing and then the second season is about a guy who does an experimental trachea surgery Yeah, it's a pretty good show Only dr. Death. I respect is dr. Death Steve Williams. All right P. I was all dr. Gavorkian as well We haven't talked about the connect RIP. Also, Dr. Gavorkian as well. We haven't talked about the Kinect.
Starting point is 01:35:25 Yeah, and there's not really any Xbox representation on here other than, I mean, there's none. Well, what happened was that by around the time the Xbox and the PlayStation 2, all this shit was just going multi-platform, right? So it wasn't like there were as many dedicated hardware exclusive controllers. I kind of don't think the Kinect belongs here for our purposes. Maybe I'm wrong.
Starting point is 01:35:50 Well, what was it? There was the shitty PlayStation 1 too, right? That was the attempt at the kind of both being a PlayStation I. Yes, right. And I feel like that's kind of like its own. We're kind of going in a different direction if we're talking about that stuff. I have the camera for the PlayStation 5 and and the PlayStation move was the other one the one that had the little orb at The end of it. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, not not great. Well, we'll leave it off. But do we do we call back? The baby the baby controller that we once talked about here on an episode of Get Played? That Oscar Montoya brought to our attention.
Starting point is 01:36:27 The babysitting mama baby. I think we should wrap it up with the baby. So let's knock out the few remaining that we have that we're actually gonna do this. So do here. Okay, the Game Boy sewing machine. Game Boy sewing machine, I think it's great that it exists. I don't know how it actually works.
Starting point is 01:36:42 It does work, but... C tier. As opposed to the bowling ball we have the space orb which was a controller where instead of an analog stick it had a like a rotating sort of three-dimensional sphere and some people actually liked it, I think, for controlling FPS games of the era. This was, I believe, a PC controller. I don't know, it's an interesting experiment. This feels like a C tier. C tier.
Starting point is 01:37:20 Some people are still trying to get this to work, I saw. Interesting. I think there's some fandom for it Oh, you know what let's not rubble with a baby. I know we're gonna wrap up with it. Let's let's go to Oh God what the fuck is that shitty one Matt? What the fuck is that? It's like the laser. I that's the laser. I use for the NES. What was that thing called it was called the um Konami laser scope I wrote is that what it was Konami laser. Yes, it um... Konami laser scope? I wrote it down. Is that what it was?
Starting point is 01:37:47 Konami laser? Yes it was the Konami laser scope. Hey! Konami laser scope. Good pull. Yeah so this was a an idea it worked with the it worked with the it like it worked like the NES Zapper. I'll just read this from Wikipedia. Okay let him cook cook. This is gonna be good. It is voice activated, firing a shot whenever the wearer says fire, although some reviewers criticized its ability to do so. Oh my god. So you aimed with your eye, you had like a crosshair eyepiece, and then you would aim at the screen where the light gun would go and they'd say fire to shoot it that sucks
Starting point is 01:38:26 Fucking sucks. What are we thinking? F F F tier um the Okay, the and that just leaves the wait. What are these two Xbox controllers here? These are the Sonic and Knuckles Xbox controllers that were not for purchase, but they were a giveaway around the time Sonic 2 was being released with a themed Xbox series X as well. These seem like they maybe belong up there with a Dragon Quest slime you can actually maybe use.
Starting point is 01:38:55 Although I guess the fur would probably suck to hold, right? The fur looks like it would really bother me. It would bother me and also, like, if at any point you were playing anything intense and your hands got a little sweaty, then you'd be holding wet fur. Yeah, or if you're making like a spill on it. Yeah, I would start to smell. Yeah, I'd maybe put that in D.
Starting point is 01:39:12 And also, is the implication that they skinned Sonic and Knuckles for the controller? That is bleak. I guess, okay, Matt, put it in C. I guess that's a fine place for it. Oh, I put it in C on accident. I could put it in B. No, C. C, okay. All right, leave it in C. I guess that's a fine place for it. Oh, I put it in C on accident. I could put it in B. No, C. C, okay. I leave it in C.
Starting point is 01:39:26 Okay, and then we've got the... The baby and then this bad boy. Right, right. So we, all right, let's do the cooking mama, or, it's cooking mama baby, right? Babysitting mama. You don't cook the baby. I was gonna say that.
Starting point is 01:39:38 Doesn't sound right. I know that the phrase is bun in the oven, but it's not literal. Babysitting mama baby. I mean, it is just a baby, which is kind of fun. But you put the controller in the baby. Yeah, that's weird.
Starting point is 01:39:49 Yeah, that sucks. That sucks, but you do baby stuff with it. You like rock the baby, change the baby too, lead the baby. I think you just rock the baby and you like play baby Like you like toss it right? I don't know I never lost a baby I'm trying to look for some more context on this okay They're about 40 to 50 mini games and babysitting mama total this from the cooking man a mama with kind of not enough
Starting point is 01:40:21 Rocking gently swing the baby back and forth like mama to make it smile Milk time feed their baby their milk by tilting the nunchuck piece forward But make sure to avoid the red burp pat the baby gently on each blue segment on the line to burp them wait wait wait So is the controller in the baby or is it not because you can't feed the baby by tilting the baby backward No, you tip you you have the nun Chuck is separate from remote is my understanding got it got it so that kind of functions as the bottle I Don't know without having hands-on experience of this. I mean I do like that it exists I think it's a cool shelf piece. I think it's maybe belongs in detail, but maybe it's fun to play with
Starting point is 01:41:02 and then finally the Steel Battalion controller set. It looks like there's joysticks, pedals, a whole console dashboard. A hundred buttons? Yeah. The dumbest, most embarrassing piece of hardware I ever make. Send it straight to S tier. It fucking rocks. It's so fucking awesome. It's the reddest flag. Same piece of hardware remake send it straight to s tier
Starting point is 01:41:30 So bad and it's so fucking dumb But yeah, it is 100% no one no one should have this in their collection No, but if you do I admire you and then that we did it. That's our tier list of We went through so many and There's a million like we're gonna hear so many people saying, I can't believe you forgot this. I can't believe you forgot my favorite. My favorite one, my precious baby one, shut up. We did so much.
Starting point is 01:41:57 We did do a lot, but I think it's hard to be completely comprehensive here. I'm just trying to think if there's anything, any big ones we did miss. I'm sure there is, we'll think of it later. I will be, I say this with love, real gratitude for being back in the studio. Like a pleasure of looking at all of those devices again
Starting point is 01:42:20 and remembering a lot of them. This made me miserable. Heather, I think at this point it is fair to say that this was your idea. We went for long enough that the timer we use in studio went into sleep mode so how about we do a quick segment you guys I love it I can Nick and Heather guess how long it takes to beat a game without going over it's game over time this is a hard one and guys I'm gonna tell you there's a theme right now it's an all-final fantasy edition hey wow so you'm gonna tell you there's a theme right now. It's an all Final Fantasy edition. Hey!
Starting point is 01:43:06 Wow. So you're gonna tell me how long it takes to beat these Final Fantasy games. I'll say the main story according to howlongtobeat.com. The first one on this list. Final Fantasy X2. I will say I'm gonna say 28 hours. 28 hours on the board? 40 hours. 40 hours. Heather has gone over by approximately nine and a half hours. Nick is closest without going over 30 and a half hours. All right. Yeah, the thing I always forget about this one is that the how long to beat, the people who the self-selected people who report to how long to beat are usually pretty quick. Yeah. There's main story, main and extra and completionist, but I'm going main story here.
Starting point is 01:44:05 This next one, from 1991, Final Fantasy IV. Final Fantasy IV. Okay. This is one of those ones where, like, you know, when I played it as a kid, I was like, this game's like 500 hours long. It obviously is nowhere near that. Nine hours! Nine hours? I think it's near that nine hours nine hours I
Starting point is 01:44:26 Think it's more than nine hours But I don't think it's 60 hours. I'm gonna say 22 hours 62 hours no 22 hours Nikki just went over by one hour that is 21 hours to beat Final Fantasy IV. I forgot it's Price is Right rules. If Price is Right rules, Heather gets a point. Yes!
Starting point is 01:44:50 I got pretty close though. You got really, really close. You did. But that's not how they play on Price is Right. I know. You get stuck in a dungeon and that would've been 22 hours. True. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:03 Right, Final Fantasy XV, next one on the board. 15? 15. And when did you play it I know. Oh my boys. Well here's the problem is like what does this mean just the main story? Yeah main story only is what is what is what you're using. And this is not Final Fantasy 15 complete or whatever it's called. Yeah. Royal royal edition all my boys And does this include the time that you spend watching Kings play before you play? It could include the two hour and 40 minutes if that's what you're asking guys that long that it wasn't that long Felt like it it did
Starting point is 01:45:44 45 hours for the main story 45 hours for the main story coming from Heather oh I was gonna say 43 hours but I'll create a little bit more space I'll say 30 mmm no Heather said 45 yeah 46 hours oh both incorrect unfortunately 28 hours to beat the main story. Oh It's hard to get past 20 hours if any any amount is a long time Yeah, you know it's hard to know because like I I put in more than a hundred hours into that game But I was also like enjoying myself and doing all the side quests and like doing all the cooking like What's the main plus extras and what's the completionist for that main plus extras 53 and a half hours completionist 95? Yeah, 95 seems right cuz like I caught all the fish
Starting point is 01:46:34 Some of these games have yeah the really really wide ranges cuz I think really just mainlining here just just sprinting through sometimes Yeah, okay, so it's still a tie game, still anyone's game. Next one, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles for the Gamecube. Oh, this game. Fuck. The bane of my existence. I want it to be so good.
Starting point is 01:46:55 It is not so good. How long does it take to just beat this fucker? I'll say 11 hours. 11 hours from Nick. 15. 15. Heather is the closest without going over. The answer, 21 hours.
Starting point is 01:47:08 Wow. Woo. 21 hours. So now Heather is in the lead, two to one. One more, the final one. So we can either tie it up or Heather can go run away with it. Final Fantasy Tactics for the PlayStation.
Starting point is 01:47:21 Okay, big game. I have finished this game. How long is it really? Especially if you mainline it. But it's, the way this progression works, I'm not sure if that's much, there's much variance between main and main plus extras. Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. Um, just to say a number, I'm going to say 37 hours.
Starting point is 01:47:50 That feels too long. 37 hours. Okay, 37 hours. Heather? I think it's a big boy. I'm going to go with 41 hours. Heather. Closest without going over goes to Nick.
Starting point is 01:48:07 Because the answer is 40 hours. It's a tie game, but you know what? In the spirit of this long episode, I got a tiebreaker for us. Whoever gets this one right wins. We both went over by exactly one hour on one Final Fantasy. That's weird. Here we go. This final One.
Starting point is 01:48:26 How long does it take to beat Dirge of Cerberus Final Fantasy VII? Fuck. 17 hours. 17 from Heather. One hour, Drew. The answer. 11 and a half hours hours Nick is our winner or
Starting point is 01:48:48 Final fantasy edition of game over time and folks that's this week's get played Wow Spirited contest that was fun an immediate episode Actually, I am kind of curious if we if we missed any big ones So people on all this on a discord of any peripherals any good birth Yeah, go ahead and just yell at us if we didn't get one well Yeah, I mean you can say it nicely Someone saying something nicely Discord is discord that GG slash get played and you can talk back at us about get played about
Starting point is 01:49:20 Get animated or about politics, sports, cooking? Politics especially, we love politics in there. Yeah. Lay it on the table. Whatever channel you want, go off. All channels, politics is okay. Our producers, Richelle Chen, Ranch, Yard, underscore, underscore, sard.
Starting point is 01:49:37 Our music is by Ben Prunty, benpruntymusic.com. Our art is by Duck Brigade Design, duckbrigade.com. And hey, check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash get played, where you can find our entire pre-Headgum back catalog. Plus, ad-free main feed episodes, and also our Patreon exclusive show, Get Animated. Matt, what's up this week? This week, we did something a little different.
Starting point is 01:49:57 We went to Silver Lake Ramen to celebrate the collaboration with Naruto. So we talk about Silver Lake Ramen. Check to see if there's one in your area. There's some nationally. And we talk a little bit about Naruto, and we had a nice time. I feel like, speaking of people,
Starting point is 01:50:12 people are gonna yell at you for saying Naruto instead of Naruto. Naruto? Yeah. Naruto. Believe it! Don't yell at me. Matt got played.
Starting point is 01:50:21 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That was a HateGum podcast.

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