Get Played - Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream
Episode Date: April 27, 2026Nick, Matt and Ranch talk about their time with Nintendo's Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social med...ia @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For our exclusive show Get Played DLC, ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? episodes go to patreon.com/getplayed Join us on our Discord server here: https://discord.gg/getplayed Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 616-2-PLAYED (616-275-2933) or write us an email at getplayedpod@gmail.com Advertise on Get Played via Gumball.fm All of our links can be found at linktree.com/getplayedpodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Matt, we're talking Tomodachi Life this week.
I'm actually really tickled by this game.
I know.
It's a very silly time.
I'm having a nice time with it.
I did it a little something.
Well, what'd you do?
You got that grin.
You got the devilish grin.
I, well, buddy, I made you in the game.
What do you mean you made me in the game?
I fabricated a me that looks like you.
And I named him, I named him Y,
And so now you're in the game.
And I gave, I also made a Heather.
Heather gave you the nickname Tiger.
So you go by Tiger in the game too.
I guess I missed the text where you asked my permission to do this.
Because I just feels like you just thought that was an acceptable thing to do is to use my name and likeness and try to recreate my personality, an AI version of it, which maybe is some comment you're trying to make on me, how I'm like an AI, which ha ha, Matt, never heard that one before.
I just can't
I can't fucking believe
what an invasion of my personal space
and my privacy
I thought we were friends
We are and I'm actually
I'm so sorry if I overstepped in some way
I wasn't trying to make fun of you
Or anything like that
I just thought it'd be funny
To have people I like in the game
And see what else they get up
You know what they get up to
Let me guess you gave my character
A real big ass
He's got the biggest ass of any me in the game
You tried to install
Ahmad doing big in the ass because you're like, that's the only way you can represent Wiger.
Got to get that big back door.
He's got that wagon.
I did give you something that I forgot to tell you.
Yeah.
I found Maracas and I gave you Maracca's.
And so sometimes you're just walking around doing Maraca.
Great.
So you got me doing cultural appropriation.
Cool.
That's a great look for me.
It's going to help my career.
How dare you?
How dare you?
I just, I thought it would be funny.
People, you know, are making.
And I'm not crying or anything.
I'm not scared that I'm being yelled at by a fellow adult and friend.
I thought it would be funny to put my friends in there.
I'm sorry, I fucked up.
I fucked up and I'm sorry.
Fuck.
I'm going to delete the game.
I'm going to delete the game.
I'm going to remove you from it.
You know what right now?
What I want you to do?
You have your switch to do with you.
I thought those crocodile tears would maybe get you to it.
No, no.
No, no, no. I'm calling it. I'm calling it and raising. You have your switch two right in front of you. Power on the game. I can watch it on the game. Okay. Here we go. You know what? I don't watch you in the game. Delete. Then fine. Delete my character. I want to watch you delete my character. Okay, here. I'm going to grab you. First of all, I'm going to pick you up. I'm going to drop you first. Don't do that. Add insult to injuries. I mean, fucking hate your little me. And then you know what? Here, delete, remove. Gone.
Good, good. Wait, what's happening?
What's happening?
Nick, where are you going?
I deleted him for real.
We waste hours, creating me's and making an AI voice-pronounced things
as we discuss psych-geisty social sim Tomidachi life,
living the dream this week on Get Played.
Wow, it's Get Played, your one-stop show for good games, bad games,
and every game in between.
It's time to get played.
I'm your host, Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,
Mr. Games, Mattapodaka.
Hello, everyone.
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Get Played,
as you may have inferred from her absence,
given the usual intro.
Heather is out this week.
Heather's out this week.
She has diarrhea, so pray for her.
Pray for her good luck with her diarrhea.
Yeah, there was...
We're hoping she pulls through and has less diarrhea.
That text that I lied about before,
a couple weeks ago,
where I said that Shigura Miyamoto was running around,
holding his butt like he was about to shit himself.
it was actually about Heather
and you were covering for her
because you're a good friend
and now we can just say
like you know it's the thing
she's been dealing with
I've had diarrhea
well I was gonna say
not to blow up
our spots
we also have diarrhea
Matt and I have diarrhea
we're okay
we're okay
we're powering through it
but then see that makes us look like
we're like oh we have diarrhea
and Heather has diarrhea
and she can't be here
which I'm not trying to say
no I think my diarrhea is less severe
but I do have it
Yeah, yeah.
No, I didn't mean to make it seem like, you know, we're tough guys that are powering through diarrhea.
Certainly not, no.
Every episode of any podcast is somebody's first.
So this is a good chance this could be somebody.
Someone watched a clip of like Chris Pratt and Charlie Day talking about the Mario movie.
And then we're like, oh, let me check this thing out.
The guys are immediately talking about diarrhea?
What the fuck is this?
Look, we're just being silly with it.
We're just being silly.
Nobody has diarrhea.
Nobody has diarrhea except someone does.
Look, all I'm saying is.
One of us has diarrhea.
We're just talking to hell you who it is.
Yeah.
It's me.
Our producer, Michelle Chen, Ranch is here.
Hi, Ranch, how you doing?
I'm good.
Ranch, we were talking before we started.
And I never engaged with our social media
because I don't need.
I don't have room in my life for any of you psychopaths.
Yeah.
My understanding is that there were some comments on a clip with our guest last week, Chavon,
where Heather was talking about her Baldur's Gate experience,
and people were really bickering in the comments.
Yeah, people were bickering in the comments.
I got in there as well.
Just all in good fun, of course.
There was, I think, I think people were misinterpreting.
Here's what I think happened.
Yeah.
And I know you said, toss this to tarant.
This is what I think you happened for a second.
And I'm sort of doing what the clip is accusing me of it.
accusing us of in some ways.
I think there are fans of a certain online community.
I won't say what.
That are very protective of the people in that community.
So I think there was another parisocial thing happening
where they were protecting the honor of somebody
that they know against somebody they don't necessarily.
Kind of a milady sort of approach.
It kind of gives that vibe.
Okay, got it.
But I'm just saying, I think if you're ever about to leave a comment on a social media post for a podcast, calm the fuck down.
And be normal for a second.
Yeah, Chavon is our friend.
Yeah.
Just having fun.
And Chavon is our friend to the point where if something was amiss, she'd be like, hey, knock it off.
Like, but.
She may have said, she may have told Matt to cut the shit earlier before we.
are recording.
He's not shy about that.
Was I being a stinker?
Yes.
Did she tell me to stop?
Yes.
Ranch, you have to, are you, do have control that accounts?
Does Matt Magic counts?
Who does this?
We both have it.
You both have it.
But you have to sometimes get up and get in the comments and deal with some of this.
Oh yeah.
I mean, if anyone comes for you guys, I'm ready to fucking throw down.
That's nice.
Ranch is our strongest soldier.
Absolutely.
Powering through diarrhea.
I did, I did hear.
I was told that there was some sort of,
because I don't remember exactly what the context of this,
but Waltersgate discussion was,
but it's a game I know well.
It played through multiple times.
But I guess there was something about what,
whether a section of the game was the under dark
or the shadow realm.
And that was a little bit of a debate.
Yes.
I said it was the under dark,
but some people were saying like,
he's wrong.
It was the shadow realm.
It may have been ambiguous about what part of the game we're discussing.
Either way, I'm just going to say,
my position now is that they're the same.
The under dark is the shadow.
Realm. Yeah, the Underdark is the Shadow Realm and Baldur's Gate 3 actually, it's actually
really easy too. It's actually really easy and I've never played it. And I've never played it.
But I know that it's easy and I know that the Under Dark is the same as the Shadow Realm.
Yeah, and there's actually not that much to do it. There's not much to do. It's pretty limited
in scope. As is my understanding, again, I've never played it. Yeah. No, no, no. Should I make this a
clip?
No. We can't stand. I can't stand going viral.
Yeah, that's just what the clip needs to.
She's like, actually, we removed the women.
Look, we got it right this time.
Just me and Matt, settling the score.
I had a situation earlier today.
You had a situation?
I left my phone an Uber.
Y'all ever done that?
Absolute fucking nightmare.
That seems almost...
I don't know how to start.
wraps up. Don't spoil it yet. That seems impossible to overcome to me. An unsolvable problem.
Because you use the phone to get the Uber. Yes. Yeah. Uber go away. Keep phone. No more phone.
Yeah. Thankfully, and this is the other thing. Then I'm like, well, I'll log into my Uber account on my laptop.
Two factor. So it was a whole ordeal. I did find a way to contact support and then you can file a thing where that you could say that this
ride has a, you know, I was on this ride and that's where I left my phone. I also, the thing that
actually was my salvation was not the Uber support, but find my iPhone. I was able to, I guess if you mark
lost phone in your I cloud, you can then go and like put a little message that pops up. I don't
know. I just, I had never done this so I didn't know how to do it because I usually don't lose my
phone like a fucking idiot like I did today. So I just put.
I just put like, hey, here's my email, email if, email if phone found.
And then the driver was kind enough to email that address.
I used Heather's phone, who was with.
Yeah.
And I used Heather's phone to call this guy and then arranged a drop off.
But it was the whole thing of like, like, I'll be here at this time.
I was like, all right.
All right.
I guess it's 1989 again.
That's so crazy.
I mean, I understand the need for two factors and stuff like that.
but like there are so many now
because like if this
I guess I'm thinking of like an older time
where like
it just this
the time that I'm thinking of
this wouldn't have happened
it just wouldn't have happened
none of this would have existed
right but like I just the other day
I had to call my vet
because
uh your cat
kicked the dog off the table
my cat did have diarrhea
and I'm calling my vet
because I mean
why did I go down this
train. I had to collect a sample and bring it back so they could see if anything was wrong with
his diarrhea. Because your cat had too much lasagna. And so... He had too much lasagna. We were
learning that he's actually lactose intolerant. Got it. So it's one of his favorite foods,
but you just can't do it anymore. Yeah. And this is another thing that I was trying to call in on.
I was calling in from a crate that was on its way to Abu Dhabi. Oh, you get crated?
I got crated. Oh, man. But I'm calling because they close at six. It's $5.50.
I live about, I mean, I live close to it, so I was on my way over there on foot because I was like, it's close enough I could get there faster than in a car because of the time it wasn't trafficking stuff like that. I'm on the phone. They have an AI assistant for the fucking, um, for the small veterinary practice. Yes. And I'm like, I understand the need for this kind of because it's like they can't be taking calls all day and there's like people there helping with things happening at the store. But usually you can't.
bypass stuff like that by like
saying like I want to speak to like representative
whatever. This fucking
this is different. This fucking
Emily is her name.
I'll put her on blast.
She's not real.
The AI assistant is like
I am the representative.
Before I contact the front desk, why don't
we see if I could help you?
Oh boy. That's rough. I'm just like
they're about to close. I'm carrying a hot
tube of diarrhea. Right.
Like, I just want to make sure that somebody's there so I can hand this off and I'll have to walk back home with it.
You know what I mean?
This puppy's scorching my palm.
I'm going like, hot hot potato with this thing.
But I just, like, can't get somebody on the phone.
So I just hope somebody gets over there.
And I get there as they're closing the door.
And I'm just like, I got it.
They're like right on time.
And they took it from me and it was fine.
But I guess I'm just like, there used to be a time where like you could get things done in an easy way,
an easier way without technology that's supposed to fucking hell.
Right, right.
And it just requires a little bit more planning.
Yeah, and now there's just like unnecessary roadblocks for like, like, you should be able to like do something, type in a code or something that's like I don't have the two factor.
Here's a code that's my code.
Right.
That works.
Well, I found out.
So there is a way like I found out.
So now I know that you can link other accounts to it and that can be another way, another method of two factors.
So I see.
Yeah, it's going to, it's whatever, it's fine.
but yes.
You got it back?
I got my fucking phone right here.
You didn't try to, oh.
Oh yeah, I forgot.
You handed it to me.
No, he handed it to me.
The man was lovely.
Yeah.
And it was, you know, an expensive mistake because besides the pain in the ass,
I'm trying to deal with this while I'm working in the office, it's also, I'm like, I felt,
I'll be, I tip the guy 50 bucks because I was like, this was a huge pain in the ass for you.
I'm sorry.
Because he's not being, like, he's not like.
No, it's not a fair for him.
Yeah, right?
Exactly.
Of course, that's very nice
That you did that
But yeah, then I'm just like
Well, I spent 50 bucks
Because I fucking left
Our Uber's already so fucking expensive
Right?
Everything's so expensive
I had that
It's just a fine
I've assessed myself basically
Imagine
Imagine the phone was in the Waymo
You'd never have it back
Could you get it out of a Waymo?
You must be able to log in
some other way
But I wonder
Who knows
Why don't you leave it in a Waymo
and see
I'll do that
I'll definitely do that
I was in a Waymo that was behind another Waymo.
You ever had that experience yet?
Oh, yeah.
It's like, and they're kind of like coordinated.
They're like, hey, man.
What's up?
I can't wait until they're ubiquitous.
Can't wait until they're everywhere.
Yeah, they just started going on the freeway, you said, right?
Yeah, I've been on the freeway.
Is it scary on the freeway?
No, man, it's a dream.
Oh, man, he loves it.
I love it.
Got his feet up.
You picking tunes on the damn thing?
Yeah, we'll go go put it up, mess with a Spotify playlist.
Yeah.
I put on some jazz funk or something.
Ooh.
You dancing back there?
Yeah, I'm having a party.
I'm by myself.
I can do anything back there.
You're like doing the cabbage batch like this?
The Charleston?
It's back.
It'll be interesting to see like, because, you know, as the, it's the same way that people think of like Mozart and Bach and a,
Beethoven is contemporaries, but they live centuries apart.
It's like, because you're just sort of like, oh, yeah, these classical composers, they
was like, well, yeah, they all were kind of in different eras.
But I think the, there will be like a future when they're like trying to represent the 20th century.
And it will be like a movie set in the 1980s, but someone will be like doing the Charleston.
Because it's like, oh, yeah, he's been doing an old-timey dance.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A completely invented reality.
Somebody in like black and white will be like, I have Riz.
Yeah.
No.
This guy in World War II is doing the running man.
What the fuck is up with that?
He has an iPad.
And he just said, this is the old one.
We're just describing like an AI generated movie.
It sounds pretty good, honestly.
I'd watch it.
that I'd look
Heather's not here
Heather's not here
I feel like
Wait were you saying
Were you going somewhere with that
Or did you finish
I finished
I guess my my broader point
Was that you used to be able to just get things done
Without like a technological roadblock
Right everything's so annoying
Yeah everything's so like I
Don't even get me sorry
I ordered from an app food the other day
Yeah
Got the food
Some of the food was not good
Like it was like it tasted yucky
Yeah
And we were just kind of like, what the fuck happened here?
And I, like, am in the app chatting with the thing.
I got distracted, put it down.
They closed the chat on me.
Right.
Because I'm- Matt, are you still there?
Yeah.
And then now I'm just like, I keep remembering now.
I got to fucking do that.
Yeah.
But you got to start from scratch.
I got to start from scratch.
I would hope that they would just see my complaint that I was like, my first thing I typed.
This food tasted bad.
What can you do to fix this?
I don't know. What do you do to fix it?
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a bummer.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
Everything's bad.
I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it.
Otherwise, where's my money.
I don't know where it went.
Could be anywhere.
My money's off having a good time without me.
I'm alone.
I'm in a half-filled pool.
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Why would you pay more for it?
It's a binary system.
Like, if you flip a light switch, it's not like, oh, there's one kind of light and then there's another kind of light.
So if one company's like, hey, I'm going to charge you $150 to turn on the light,
another company's like, I'll charge you $20.
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Look, what are we doing?
What are we doing?
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The phone either works or it doesn't work.
Why are you spending money?
It doesn't work more.
Think about what we're doing.
It's not like you're like buying a cemetery plot
and they're only going to bury you a little bit.
You're either being in the grave or you're not.
You're either flipping the light switch
and it turns on the light or it's not happening.
Ring, ring, hello? That's all it needs to do.
Mom, I lock myself in my car again.
Did you send the text?
If it went through, that's it.
Why would you pay $150 for that?
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We've gone insane and we have normalized it.
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After a long day of work, I'm driving home. I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
And then, uh-oh, hunger strikes.
Me, hungry.
I drive all the way home.
I open the dang fridge.
There's nothing in there but ketchup in a roll of film.
and I can't eat the ketchup, and I won't eat the film again.
So I open up an app on my phone.
I'm about to spend $30 on a dang burrito, like a fool.
What the hell?
But for me, eating healthy wasn't a willpower problem.
It was a setup problem.
User error, they call it.
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You could probably shred the chicken, too, if you want it.
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We do have a fun game to talk about.
But right now we have some other games to talk about.
It's time of the question we ask every week on this podcast.
What are you playing?
Where is the Residential Merchant?
Usually they're here first.
Yeah, they're usually just already in position when we got...
I guess I was kind of hoping that I would will them into walking into the studio with my intro,
but I guess they're just not going to show up.
Well...
We're going to have to...
to talk about this. This is
fucking unacceptable.
I'm checking the group text.
Trapped in a T.J. Max
dumpster. I guess
that's a fair excuse.
Follow up text. Don't come looking
for me. Okay. Well.
I like it here. Godspeed
Resident Evil Merchant. Matt Apodaka.
What are you playing? I'll tell you what I'm playing.
Well, I feel like we're going to talk about this in the next
couple weeks. Yeah. So I'm just going to say
my I'm Thor came
and I'm very excited about it.
Einthor, please explain to people what the Nianthor is.
It is an Android-based handheld.
That is, it's a dual-screen situation.
So you can, like, play DS and 3DS games on it,
but you can also play all sorts of games.
You can have some light steam games on there, you know,
your balatro's, your stuff that I'm playing on Steam anyway, you know.
Nothing too intense.
Like, I don't think it could run Claire Obscure Expedition 33 or something like that.
but you can download your Steam library there.
You can also, you know, you have access to whatever games are on the Google Play Store.
So that's a possibility too.
But you can install all these like emulators and stuff like that and they all run really well.
But I feel like in the coming weeks we'll like do like a deeper dive into it.
So I don't want to say too too much about it.
But I have.
I mean, I will say it seems like a really sleek piece of hardware.
Yes.
I've seen some of the photos and footage that you and had.
who also has one of these do dads,
because of course you both do.
You're both early adopters.
It seems like there's a lot of tinkering involved.
A lot of tinkering, which...
And that's the thing, like,
oh, I got to spend a bunch of time
configuring this thing.
It's like, I do...
There's a side of me that does really genuinely enjoy that,
but there's another side of me that's like,
I have time to play video games these days.
Yeah, I mean, I did, like,
while I was setting it up,
my wife was like, so what game were you playing?
I was like, oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm in menus
I'm in folders here
I'm in the weeds
because you have to set up
a file directory
for your ROMs and things like that
but I think that stuff is
like when you have the time to do it
is more than half the fun
setting something up
but I'll tell you what I've been playing on it
real quick
been playing an old favorite of mine
NBA Street Volume 2
Wow let's go
just doing some pickup
Because I'm not a big basketball guy.
I don't watch basketball, don't follow it.
I like the vibe of it.
It seems like something I'd like to participate in.
Not playing it, but, you know, the culture of enjoying it.
Hop on board.
It's a very fun league to follow.
I love that orange ball.
Orange ball is great.
I like the squeak of the sneakers on the ground.
You've seen the WNBA ball?
What color is it?
It's orange and white.
It's great.
They got a different one?
They got a different one, yeah.
It looks a little different.
You ever see the old ABA ball that was back in the 70s?
No.
That was my very,
it was a red, white, and blue ball.
That's pretty awesome.
Well, that's, I see that.
I'm thinking of the Globetrotters?
Yeah, it is very Globetrotters coded as well.
But I mean, yeah, I agree.
The orange ball is good.
Real quick, Globetrotters tangent.
Yeah.
I had an opportunity to see the Harlem Globetrotters when I was a kid,
and I got the flu and I couldn't go.
But my brothers still got to go with my.
uncle and they I was like like just go I'm like so sick I'm thinking they're gonna go
they're not gonna have that much fun because I'm not there yeah they came back it was
like the best day of their fucking lives did you ever ultimately see the globe totters
I've never gone oh Matt I mean next time they're the the globe charters are in town we
should go because I will say I as a kid me and my brother got to go see the Harlem
Globetrotters and it was the best show I've ever seen it was so entertaining I can't I
I would love to go.
I want to see that.
I want to see Monster Jam.
I want to see all this stuff
that I didn't get to see
when I was a kid.
I might go to Disney on Ice.
How fun is that?
I won't, but hey, maybe.
Globetrotters are great.
I would love to see it.
I'm playing that.
Do we need to give context
for the Harlem Globetterters?
People know what the Globetterters.
They were a funny basketball team.
They're a comedy basketball team.
They always play the Washington Generals.
They're a touring team,
and they do a bunch of like trick shots
and like they have skits basically
where they'll bring a ladder on the court
or pull down a referee's pants
or throw a bucket in someone's face
but instead of water it has confetti
and they used to like be on TV shows
they used to go on as themselves
they go on as themselves
and I think they were at a Harlem
Global Chargers cartoon at a certain point
they're great
they might have interacted with Scooby-Doo at one point
so that my context for them
was seeing them in other things
when we're like wait those guys are funny as fuck
I want to go see that
I forget they're in Scooby-Doo yeah
But I never got to
Yeah, I never got to see it
You missed out
I got it look because like
Are they still doing it?
Yeah, they're still doing it
It's different guys I would assume
There's a lot of turnover
But like every time
Like I feel like I go
I go to a good amount of live basketball
And
Oftentimes sometimes at the arena
Every so often it'll be like
Oh the globe charters are coming to town
Every time I was like fuck I should go see the globe charters
And I never make time for it
But next time
I'm gonna pay attention
I want to see.
I would like to go.
That would be my very first
live basketball game.
It's a blast.
Ranch, you ever seen the Globe Charters?
I'm not.
Wow.
Group outing.
You can come too, Ranch.
Yeah, you can come.
Heather, we'll get her a ticket anyway.
Heather will want to see the Globetter's.
Heather's going to want to see it.
Look, all four of us,
we'd be having a fucking blast.
They might throw us the ball.
They might let us do one.
It's one of those things you see
like, because ostensibly me being
someone who's in comedy.
And then you see something like this is like,
what they're doing is so much harder
because they have to do feats of athleticism,
but also they have to make kids and old people laugh
and everyone in between.
Like that's so,
it's so much easier to have your,
your audience of,
your core audience of irony poison to online people
that you can kind of cater to with inside jokes
versus like, hey, I've got to appeal to everybody.
Yeah, yeah.
And you know what everybody likes?
Seeing a referee's pants pulled down.
That's fucking so funny.
Well, that's why, I mean, we talk about this, I think, a lot off pod, but like the, like, I think Jackass is the funniest thing.
It's so funny.
And it's funnier than anybody will ever be.
And it's like guys getting fucking spanked on their butt.
Makes a dumb guy laugh.
Makes a smart guy laugh.
It's so, I mean, it's more than that.
It's also like people like stapling their nutsacks to their legs and shit.
Yeah, sure.
But it's like, it's fucking funny.
But I'm playing NBA Street Volume 2.
I forgot just through osmosis, like as a kid, you pick up so many.
Like, like, I know who Alan Iverson is because he was, like, objectively very famous when I was a kid.
AI, the answer.
Yes.
The only good AI?
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know what he's been up to.
He's not canceled.
He's not canceled.
Okay.
The only good AI.
But, you know, obviously you have Shaq.
You have Kobe.
You have, like, like, that's, like, the roster of players from that time that I was like,
oh, like, I just, like, remember all these guys.
Like, it's, it's, obviously, Shaq.
is like still very famous.
But I've been enjoying that.
It just plays so great.
It's like such a funny,
fun game.
You're doing little trick shots and stuff like that.
It's three on three street hoops.
And it's fast.
You can just pick up and like play a game for like under 10 minutes
and like you're just like shooting buckets and it's a lot of fun.
It's,
it's interesting because it's like very,
very NBA jam,
but it's also got like a Tony Hawks pro skater element of like you're doing tricks
and a big part of what you're,
you're not just going for points in the basket sense,
you're also going for points in the like multiplier sense of like,
I'm going to do this crossover dribble, you know,
I'll do this spin move, et cetera,
and then I'll finish with a tomahawk dunk,
and that combination will get me a bonus.
So I'm doing that and I'm playing.
Also, just real quick,
because we both spend a lot of time
of the NBA Street franchise.
And I am someone who does love basketball,
and usually I'd play like more.
more Sims, although they don't really play sports games at all anymore, that was one of the action
arcadey sports games that, like, NFL Blitz of the year is like, man, they just kind of nailed
the feel of this. And they made two of them and then it just went away. I think they did do
a third one, but it's less, I think it was less popular. I'm a misremembering it. Well, I mean,
if like, I'm part of the core audience and I don't remember the third one, that's, I'm part of the
problem. I remember that the GameCube port for three had Mario in it. Okay. Yeah, which is cool.
It was also part of a brand that's defunct that you and I both like.
EA Sports Big.
It's EA Sports Big.
I don't know how they landed on it, but it's so funny.
You know that thing people say?
Like, you won't know that I won the lottery, but there will be signs.
When EA Sports Big comes back, that's how you'll know.
That's what I'm putting all my money in immediately.
we're bringing back EA Sports
big. Not really clear
what it means, but I just
like it. Yeah, it's just big.
And like the big
gets really big on the screen and it's really
fun. I'm doing that
and to test out the
both screens are touch screens by the way
so you can be touching with the...
That's cool. A stylus on both screens.
I've been playing
Wariaware touched for the DS.
Good game. Now look. Well
hang on. Good game.
I think it might be a perfect video game.
I think it's so fun and so funny and so intuitive.
It really teaches you, like, I don't know.
It expects you to sort of figure stuff out in a short time limit,
but you can almost always figure out what they want you to do,
and it's just constant movement.
Because it's moving to the next mini-game so quickly
that you don't even have time to even think about
like the prompt
of the last one which was like
snippet and it's a fucking
snot
bubble falling out of somebody's nose
and it wants you to cut it I guess
so that it goes back up their nose
like that's just not how anything
works is very very funny game
those are two things I'm playing on that
I'm hoping to get back to
Resident Evil 7
biohazard
because I keep now getting
I've been getting TikToks fed about it,
and every clip of it I see is very, very scary,
and I want, I'm in the mood to get a little bit scared.
Yeah.
That's what I'm playing.
Nick, what are you playing?
I just, just real quick, on NBA Street,
and I was buried in my, in Wikipedia for a second,
because I was trying to get some context on,
there was, yes, you were of course correct that there was NBA Street v3,
which I did not play.
There's also NBA Street Home Court,
which I do not remember.
That was the PS3 Xbox 360
version that kind of came and went.
And I don't know how much it was like the gameplay
resembled the original,
but it seems to have been fairly well received
by at least by critics.
And then also in development,
and I miss this, but coming 2026,
NBA the run.
So it's not the,
oh, wow.
It's not the EA sports big, you know, NBA Street exact thing,
but I think it is a similar sort of concept.
spiritual sequel.
Spiritual sequel and you kind of see there,
we see it,
we got like Anthony Edwards and Luca and Lamello,
all just kind of in there,
in more in street,
ball and car car.
Okay, I can get into that.
Yeah.
I mean.
Cooper flag on the cover.
Wow.
I think if I didn't get into three,
it was because,
you know,
I was a teenager and I was basically,
if I wanted a new game,
I had to wait.
Right.
And I probably got NBA Street volume two
after playing it at my uncle's house,
like as a,
um,
PlayStation greatest hits, which was their budget, or, you know, their reduced price brand,
which they don't do anymore.
No, they used to have, it was the green stripe, I think, for PS1 and then the red stripe for PS2.
Yeah, those red stripe boxes, I remember.
Yeah.
Very well.
But that's what I've been playing.
Nick, what have you been playing?
Matt, thank you so much for asking for the second time.
And this time I will reply that I've been playing Vampire Crawlers.
Ooh.
Now, Vampire Crawlers is this roguelight dungeon crawler deck builder that plays at hyperspeed.
It is the same developer world and aesthetic as vampire survivors, which is the trailblazing microgenre creating auto shooter.
And from Ponkel.
From Ponkel.
So that game really got, vampire survivors really got its hooks in me right away.
and playing vampire crawlers,
it's so fun immediately that they got mad.
I was like, they did it again.
They fucking do it again,
but it's not the same gameplay.
It's instead, you know,
it's played in first person,
and it's tile movement,
like an old school 90s PC RPG,
tile movement in first person,
or like a fantasy star
would have those first person dungeons,
grid-based movement,
and then you would get to,
when you get to a square,
you know, you can turn 90 degrees
or you can,
and sidestep or what have you, certain squares,
you will see enemies in the future, in the distance.
When you get in the same squares, then, the same tile as them,
combat automatically ensues without any sort of like big like battle starting animations.
It just like gets right into it.
And that just sort of speaks to like at every opportunity, it's just accelerating.
It's just making, it's just taking out all of the dead space that would normally be,
in one of one of these dungeon crawler RPGs.
Then you get into combat,
and combat itself is you're basically of a manna pool
of how many decks you can play,
of course,
or how many cards you can play in your deck,
rather, in a certain hand.
And then you have a,
each card, of course,
has a different mana cost.
So some are zero cost,
summer,
summer, you know,
whatever.
I don't know if it's fun of fucking mana works.
Things cost different amounts.
We understand this concept.
And mana is not health.
Manna is not health.
It's different.
You do have health.
You do have health.
Which I'll get to.
Anyway, so you're going through these, and these battles are effectively kind of playing
themselves.
Like, it's like, it's like you are making more decisions than you are in vampire survivors,
but still ultimately it's like I'm, I've got three mana.
I've got a zero cost card, a one cost card, and a two cost card.
Well, I'm going to play out my hand.
Maybe the order in which I play the cards is somewhat determinative for whatever reason.
Maybe I want to play this one that gives a boost to all damage before I,
play the thing that throws the Santa Water
or, I love that it's called Santa Water.
I love that they didn't change it.
It's so good. Santa Water,
maybe top five
video game inventions.
What do you like better, Santa Water or King Bible?
They're both good. King Bible is really good.
King Bible's really good. I guess I like
Santa Water a little bit more because
King Bible, I know there's the King James Bible.
Yeah.
So that's already similar.
There's nothing like Santa Water.
Yeah, Santa Water is like kind of like what the fuck is going on here.
I love it.
Drink it instead of burping.
You say,
ho, ho.
I guess because it's an Italian developer.
Santa, how you say saints maybe.
Oh, maybe.
It's supposed to be like saint water and maybe holy water is called saint water.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah, of course that's what it does.
However it comes about, whatever the etymology of it, I love that it's called Santa Water.
I love that they're sticking to their guys.
It's great.
Yeah.
I love it.
Because also, I mean, I know it is probably, you're right.
It is probably saint.
But, and I've said this before on the show,
I think Santa is really funny.
Santa is really funny.
Just as an idea, Santa is hilarious.
I agree.
Do you like Santa Ranch?
Eh.
Hmm.
Kind of a meh on Santa.
Sounds like somebody grew up on the naughty list.
If you saw Santa right now,
wouldn't you think that was funny if you just walked by?
I guess it'd be funny.
Santa, when they like about Santa.
guy. It's like seeing an Elvis impersonator on the Vegas strip or something like that
is that if you ever see a Santa like in the wild, everyone's like, it's fucking Santa.
They're so excited to see Santa. Yeah, he's like Austin Powers to be.
Or there's a guy and, you know, he passed away, but there was that guy who used to walk around
Hollywood just in Jesus cosplay all the time. And like everyone was so excited to see Jesus.
That guy was great. Yeah, I would see him everywhere. Yeah. Oh, Ranch loves Jesus, but hate Santa.
I'm starting to figure out what the problem is.
So,
this rapid pace of battles,
you're navigating these,
it's weird to even call them mazes
because it's just sort of,
you're deciding which tiles you're going to go to
and that eventually you can descend to a different level.
Some tiles have treasure chests,
which have a similar sort of,
you know,
opening sort of flare animation effect
as you get in vampire survivors
and some sort of bonus inside.
Other ones have like shit you can dig up.
It's whatever.
It's, it's, it's really well-paced.
It's really compelling.
It's easy to get through a run.
I don't mean in terms of completing a run, but just like in terms of duration.
Like what you're saying about NBA Street volume two of those all being like eight-minute matches and eight-minute games.
It's the same sort of thing.
And then there's also a town hub, which is a little bit distinct from what's in vampire survivors where it's all through the UI.
There's actually town hub that you can upgrade and unlock things as you play.
progress and you know it's that that's just a fun like aspect of the the metagame I just can't do
this right now it's just this thing would take over my life so easily yeah it's like I snorted a
line and I'm like I could keep snorting lines and then that could just be my could just be a cocaine guy
yeah guy who does cocaine because that's what would happen to me I have that addictive personality
yeah I'm playing this I love it it's such a cool design I'm so impressed by it I'm so glad I bought it
just even just to support these developers who do not
need my support. This game is a sensation
already. It's overwhelming positive in the
Steam store with a whole bunch of sales.
But it's fucking
it's just too much.
Yeah. And I've got that and I got Slay the Spire 2
and then I've got like, this is this year
for games already. It's like I haven't played
Pragmata. I want to play Pragmata.
Yeah. I haven't gone around to Resident Evil. I want to
play fucking the new Resident Evil.
So I can't
I can't do vampire crawlers. No.
But I love vampire crawlers.
Yeah, if you got to Resident Evil, I feel like you take it down in a weekend.
I feel like it's short enough where you're like, and you know how to play those games.
Like, that's like, you know what you're doing.
Play it on easy.
I think everybody should just play games on easy.
What do we doing?
You can play games on easy.
I do all my games on easy.
It's fine to play games on easy.
There's a story mode exists for a reason.
Who am I trying to impress?
Who are you trying to impress?
You guys, the listener?
I gestured to the camera like they're live.
No, I'm not doing it.
I'm doing it for me.
Yeah.
That's my stuff.
Right.
But I haven't bought it because I'm worried that I'm going to, it's going to take over my life as well.
We represent different ends of the gaming spectrum here.
You're playing games on easy.
Heather is not only playing games on maximum difficulty, she is trying to customize or mod the difficulty so that she can add more handicaps for herself.
If all games were on easy mode, Heather would stop playing video games.
Rochelle, are you playing anything notably
recently other than Tomodachi Life?
I actually re-downloaded Hollow Night.
Wow.
The first one.
Whoa.
Because my roommate blasted through it
and then beat a part that I never was able to beat
and spent two weeks on.
So I re-downloaded to try to beat it
and Coliseum 3 specifically.
Okay.
Wow.
And I still haven't beat it.
it. Wow. I never fucked with any of that stuff because I was just like, just get me, get me to credits, baby. I'm just trying to get through it, but there's all this optional stuff. I've been sort of thinking about Hornet and I've been missing her and I kind of... From Silk Song. From Silk Song. And I kind of want to go back and because I never finished it. And I was saying that it was like maybe one of the best video games ever made. You are also, but then again, we've established you're a guy who sometimes, the challenge of a video game is not what necessarily keeps you playing. Yeah. Unlike some.
people and so maybe a game is challenging as Silk Song you're kind of like yeah I get it but I
do I want to dedicate how much this much of my life to trying to beat this one challenge I think I
I I would have to relearn how to play right but I think I would like to get back in there
because I'd like I'd like that monkey off my back I think yeah it's very satisfying yeah to
finish a really difficult game or a game that you you played and then return to and like I
finally finish this like what I do with super super meat boy would kind of checks both boxes
or with a Sekiro
because, you know,
beating Sekiro
was like very satisfying.
And you did do it.
I did beat Sekiro.
Yeah.
Yeah, you did.
But I've never played Balderskate 3.
No, no, no, no.
It's basically not even a real game, I think.
It's a game for, I think, babies.
But, um,
uh, ranch, so you're,
do you think,
have you made tangible progress,
do you think,
like, do you think you're improving in, uh,
in this Coliseum?
Um, I'm considerably worse now
than I was back then.
So now I'm working back up to be
where I was before.
Got it, got it.
Because I also kind of had to re-learn how to play.
Yeah. And I did also
read-down with Silk Song because I was like, okay, I'll get back
into it and was immediately too
overwhelmed to play it.
That game is like,
oh, you thought,
oh, you thought Hollow Night was hard?
Guess what?
Very good sound effects.
were not added in post.
Matt is doing these with his mouth.
I know you're probably listening to this and being like, okay, so they open up the
sound effects library.
They forked over the cost of licensing some explosions and gunshots.
But no, Matt is creating all those from whole cloth.
I ran out of, I ran out.
You're doing great.
I only did like five.
I liked them.
I was getting scared.
You thought it was happening.
I was going to duck for cover.
Yeah, you will love vampire crawlers.
I'm gonna get it.
It's a very, very effortlessly playable game.
I wonder how it runs on the Ayn Thor.
I'll have to test it out.
I would imagine it probably can handle it.
Yeah, I mean, look, it's definitely trying to do that retro.
I guess it's maybe even more of like an eight-bit aesthetic of vampire survivors.
It's definitely that, but just like in first person mode.
And it feels like the sort of thing.
that is not too taxing in the hardware
unless it's doing something
I guess one thing
that happens with vampire survivors is just because they're
generating so many enemies and there's so many effects
on screen even though the graphics are
fairly simple
it can be a bit of a resource
hog so I you know there
is a lot happening in this game so maybe at
some point it would overload it but I would
run fine. I don't know if I know if I'm going to
I'll check it out in our report back
wow
but Silk Song or
I'm sorry, not Silk Song,
Hollow Night you're enjoying.
Yeah, oh, yes.
Yes, I'm just currently mad at it right now.
Damn.
I wish you luck in that.
Yeah, me too.
Godspeed.
And God have mercy on you?
Yeah, may God have mercy on your soul.
Boy, I wish I knew what he was saying.
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Let's talk about Tomodachi Life.
This was released on April 16th, 2026 for Nintendo Switch, of course, playable on Switch 2.
It is developed by Nintendo EPD, which is our largest first party development squad division, I guess.
I don't think it's just one team, but Nintendo EPD develops a lot of their huge franchises.
Published by Nintendo.
It is a follow up to the DS games.
Tomodachi Collection and Tomodachi Life.
One of these, I think Tomodachi Collection was Japan exclusive, but Tomodachi Life did come out
in North America.
Do either of you ever mess with these?
I did not, no, but I thought about getting into it before this one came out, and
then I was like...
Blight on your eye and Thor.
Honestly, maybe I could.
But like the, I thought, well, if I'm going to get into it, might as well just wait
for the new one.
And then it wasn't really on my radar until a listener tagged us on Blue Sky and Instagram,
their handle, I hope they don't mind being doxed in this way, is that guy there.
It's up that guy there.
They go by Jay Dizzle, it looks like.
And they made us in Tomodachi Life, and they did a really good job rendering us.
They did do a good job.
They're good.
So you use Me's in this game, if you're unfamiliar with it.
So the Nintendo Mees have been created of each of us.
Matt looks very cool, and Matt looks like Matt to me.
Yeah.
Heather looks kind of like a
librarian
and then I look like a
guy who's been banned
from the hentai section
You look great
Everybody looks great
It is like
One of those things where
You're making people
And like I've made
I mean we'll get into it
I've been making a lot of people
It's hard not to be to get it
really into making people because the
me, like
creator is so
extensible and customizable. There's so much you can do.
I definitely had some points
while playing this where I was like,
Weiger, the perfect is the enemy
of the good. You just got to get
this person on your island. Yes.
And someone did, well,
this is speaking, because everyone's making everything.
Yeah. Someone made Varong. And there's a good
Verong online. Oh, hell yes. Yeah.
I made, so far
made,
two, three, four, five, six,
I made eight people from my island
and I'm gonna just list them off now.
I made my wife,
Isabel,
I made Weiger,
I made Heather,
I made Rochelle,
I made my two in-laws
because I thought
I'd make my wife laugh
and it did.
I made my mom
and I made Hideo Kojima.
What a crew.
I feel like I did a pretty good job
with him.
That's a good,
Jima, yeah.
Check this out,
Randall.
Not bad.
Oh my God,
it really looks like...
I made him pretty good.
Yeah.
But this game,
I was not prepared for
how funny it is.
It's funny.
It sets up very similar
to Animal Crossing New Horizons.
Even some of the UI is very similar.
The UI is very similar.
And then also, you know,
again, the same thing.
You have an island
where populated by various characters.
The difference is that you don't
don't have a controllable player avatar. All the me's are autonomous based on prescribed personality
traits and things that they develop over the course of the game, over the course of gameplay.
Also, you level up individual me's in addition to leveling up your island. So that that unlocks
more and more things. And I don't know. It's such as, it's so simple, but I'm like, man,
this is a really fun social sim. It really is because like there's also,
like a relationships aspect too. So like you're making people and like the early part of the game.
I think I got my island to level, uh, like 11 in the last couple days. I've been doing,
I've been doing it. Yeah, you've been doing it.
Like, it's a real, it's really easy to turn into a time sync. Yes. I wish I'd had more time
with it. Because there are like, there aren't a ton of tasks to do, but things will pop up. So
like you'll start making people and the more people you make the more your town upgrades, right?
So then you're able to get like a clothing store
And then there's like a home renovation store
And then there's like a
A custom
Like a place where you can make like custom art and things like our food
And stuff like that
So the town opens up as you're adding people
And then as you're upgrading
You get the ability to add more people
Now I can just make people as much as I want
Which I heard that you can make up to 70 people for
70 people per island
Yeah per island
Which will I make that many?
Who knows?
You could do it.
I could do it.
It is funny to see if you can do it.
Because, like, I was, like, trying to base off all my creations off of photos.
So, like, when I was making Hideo, I was like, okay, he has, like, a very specific hair cut and head shape and stuff like that.
Let me do it.
And then I was like, I kind of just, like, I kind of, like, did what he does.
Yeah.
I scanned him.
I put him in the game.
But you can improve the relationships of the people on the island.
Well, hang, I'm sorry.
I have to
I have to pause for a second.
Keep this in the show.
Yeah.
Where the fuck that these tiny grapes come from?
Have this always been part of it?
Okay, so here's the thing.
Tiny kind of Skya, the Wire Queen,
overseas, I believe it's her job
or her job in part to oversee kind of the art direction
of the set here at Headgum.
There have always been grapes.
and at a certain point
very large grapes got added
now there are tiny grapes
all these artificial grapes there's
like let's just one two three
four five six seven bunches
of grapes just on the
just as part of the main table right now
what are they for the freaking Dionysus podcast
very smart pole
hey they you know
you've been reading books I read a book
wow look at you
and there's another grape
like a little grape thing over the side table
I don't know. She's fucking grape crazy. I like grapes just as much as anybody else. I like them. I'd say a fair amount. But the grapes situation, it's gotten a little out of hand. We call Anya the wire queen. I think she also needs to be called the grape ape. Yeah, she's the grape ape for sure.
I'm sorry, you're the grape babe. Sorry, Anya you're the grape babe. I don't know what you want me to do. You keep adding grapes. And they're getting, I thought once they were big. Yeah. That was kind of it. Yeah, that's the end boys. Like, okay, we've heightened this bit to the point where we have.
big grapes. Very good.
We're on our Jack Shepherd shit now and we're going back.
We're making them small.
What's going on?
I'm turning into Sebastian Manascarca.
You can't fucking do that.
The grapes are already big.
Now you got small grapes in here.
You can't fucking do that.
I saw this thing he was doing.
You see his bit about like laying out
like milk and cookies for Santa.
Yeah.
He'd be like, hey, you think Santa's actually
gonna want a glass of red wine.
And how about some lasagna?
It's like, man, this is so good.
I love this.
He might be the Harlem Globetrotters of convenience.
There's like, here's the, I would never,
like, I'm not being like, you know,
it sounds like a making fun.
I can almost guarantee you
if I bought a ticket to one of his arena shows,
I would laugh my fucking ass off.
We'd laugh our asses off the whole time.
Yeah.
like screaming. It'd be so
fun. I would go to that too. I would absolutely
go to that. But the grapes
are out of control and they
really distract me. I feel like I have to
This is what I'm talking about. Matt is holding up the
small grapes. These tiny grapes
and this won't be the clip. I was doing it
for posterity. Posterity?
These grapes are too small. They're too small.
They're cartoonously small. What's this?
There's another set. I just realized there's another
A second tiny grapes has hit the chat.
On top of the other green one.
They're on top of the normal grapes.
Sorry for interrupting.
No, no, no.
Please.
Very additive.
What I want you to do,
Ranch, is when you're scrubbing back
through the footage, at the very least,
get a screenshot of me holding these.
Send them to Anya and say,
Matt's fucking furious.
Those small grapes,
they're like the size for our listeners.
They're like, they like could be earrings.
Like if you want to have that sort of look,
you could pull it off.
So they're really downscaled, and I don't know what they're doing here.
If I was in the Garden of Eden, all I'm saying is, these wouldn't do the job.
Also, Anya's not been here in months.
Where did these come from?
Did she ship them out here?
No, these are new.
These feel new.
I'm sorry, ranch.
These are new.
Anyway, grape tangent over.
You know, when Heather's not here, we kind of have to like,
create stuff to do,
you know what I mean,
like to kind of like mix it up a little bit.
What you're talking about?
We always got stuff to talk about.
I know, but I feel like
I'm like floundering here.
I was like, let me go on this great thing.
Then we get Sebastian in the mix.
You're doing great.
You can't fucking do that.
He doesn't curse either, doesn't he?
No, you don't think so.
Clean comic.
What the fuck's wrong with these fucking
fuck grapes?
So you can,
you can improve the relationships with people
and like when you're making,
when you're making the me's,
there's a menu
that's like, does this real life me have a family member on the island that's like in their
real life family and you can like select the relationship, their relationship, which is very
helpful because these mes fall in love.
They do fall in love.
And you want to make sure they're courting appropriately.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can't have like my father-in-law falling in love with me or something.
You can't do that.
No, we can't have things like that.
No, you can't do it.
But, so you can make all those appropriate.
I did pick, look, it would have been really easy to let me have, let me play the field in the Tomodachi life.
I made my wife, I selected my wife as my partner.
That's a good wife guy.
What am I going to do, not do that?
Yeah.
And right now, it's not a dating sim.
In the game, I have an unrequited crush on my wife.
Because, like, so it'll show like a diagram of, like, when it's two people talking and they'll have, like, two arrows going back and forth, and they'll say what their relationship.
are to each other. Right now it says
really likes and it says crush also
from me pointing to my wife. And then from my
wife pointing to me it says good
friends.
It's a nightmare.
But you can do that. You can do like...
Those are your vows, right?
Those are...
Matt is my good friend.
That's my good friend and he'll always be
my good friend.
But you can do...
So you can introduce...
You can introduce everybody to everyone at a certain point,
but I feel like the more people you start making it's sort of harder to keep track of
who knows who and what way and stuff like that.
But there might be opportunities for people to be able to organically meet on their own too.
I don't know if it's necessarily like that,
but you can drag people to meet people and stuff like that.
That part of it's really fun and they're all.
And it's kind of like, I'm just using a recent game for comparison,
but like in the way that the, you know, all the social stuff as you're popular,
population grows, it's kind of like how immunogenic's you're trying to do the cat breeding and it's like very easy to lose track. What do you have? What do you have a full house of cats? You're just like, I like, ah, who the fuck is what? Like it's it's it's um it does get a little bit overwhelming. I do think though the more people you introduced to each other the more opportunities for um like dynamic little events right can occur because I stumbled upon because I made all of us and I introduced you so you all know each other and me and
And my wife's not in the game, so I'm playing the field.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did select your dating preferences to everyone.
I love it.
Hopefully me and your father-in-law in happiness.
I paired him with my mother-in-law.
Nice try.
But the more people that know each other, they can have, like, little meetings in groups.
Like, so there's a, there's, I, the most frustrating part of this game, actually,
is that you can't share the images from the switch.
Like, you can screenshot all day and record video.
video all day, but there's, you can't send the clips or anything anywhere. You have to have been playing
in like a capture card or something to even get them. It's such a, it's just such a Nintendo thing.
There's always some frustrations with this fucking company that makes these games that are so
compelling. And in this case, organically viral and something that, where people want to share what
they're doing. Like it's designed for that and then to have barriers to that. When basically every other
platform, it's just like built in. So these are all, uh,
photos I took on my phone of my TV.
And this is a group of me, Heather, my wife,
Weiger, and Rochelle all just like sitting on the ground talking with each other.
And it says it's a meeting of the soft serve ice cream society.
Pretty good idea.
I'm just kind of like hanging out.
Yeah, first of all, I'm the fucking chairman of this damn thing.
We'll hold elections.
But like you can see stuff like that.
And then there's like, oh, Ranch, you had a dream in my game where you had a bunch of cakes falling on you for some reason.
I gave you a piece of cake.
And then later that night you had a dream of cake and where you're being bombarded with cake.
And it says, throw a cake on me, then do it again and again.
That's the dream.
That is the dream.
Do you like cake, ranch?
We talked about this, I'm sure.
What's your favorite cake?
Carrot cake.
Of course.
It's kind of the best one.
We don't have time for this.
it's kind of the best one.
I like birthday cake.
Yeah.
Probably after carrot cake, right?
Carrot cake is not my favorite,
but I like carrot cake.
I respect all cakes.
All cakes are good.
All cakes are good.
I thought you're going to say all cakes matter.
It's like we can't go there.
No, because some of them, some of them, some of them don't.
But like you can, like, you can just monitor all like the,
it sort of on its own makes funny.
situations and I do think that like the game is funnier when you add people you know into the game
because like there's a world where you can um auto generate me's to fill out their thing which is
what Heather did and it feels like that that's like your and you know I understand why people will do
that and maybe you're just not interested in character creation but does feel like you're kind
of shortchanging yourself of one of the the joys of this game yes and so like because in your
opportunities where like one of your me's will be like oh I want to be friends I want to
friends with Heather will be like I want to be friends with Matt and what should I go talk to him with and there's like a list of things you can talk about or you can type something in and you have two opportunities to type something you can type it the one way and hope it spells it right or you could press on this like pair of lips next to the word and then spell it out phonetically and try to get it to say it like word perfect right which the one good thing about this thing is that from what I understand there's not a there's not a there's not a language
language filter. It doesn't seem to have any content filters. Yeah, so you can just make it say like
fucked up stuff. Right. Or like nasty stuff or like kind of like horny stuff. I haven't tried any like
slurs. I would imagine those are gated, but who knows? Yeah. Uh, yeah. No, it's, we'll find out.
We'll find out. Yeah, yeah. I have this, uh, clip that I'll play in a second. Uh, just kidding.
But Heather asked what she should talk to me about to become friends. This is Heather in the game.
Yeah, they're in the game.
And I wrote, I typed in Hideo-Ko-Ko-Gima.
Because I'm like, oh, it's going to be funny.
And then they had a conversation about Hideo-Kajima, and I was like, this is funny.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
And then you guys, you two became good friends because you guys were some of the earlier people on my island.
Wow.
So then you guys moved into a house together to be closer friends.
That would never happen.
It would never happen.
But when you have Mies move into a house, you can name the house.
So you guys are get played in the house.
Wow, very cool.
So the house is called Get Played and you guys live there.
And the house is nice.
We touched on this in the Japan episode a little bit,
but you and me and Heather traveling together
and going to like restaurants together
and shopping together and everything,
people were definitely trying to identify
exactly what the dynamic was between us.
And we landed on, I think,
a lot of people's head canon was Heather and I were married
and you were our son.
Yes, absolutely.
That seemed to be like what made everybody
the most comfortable.
And then this other screenshot that I have here is Heather being very excited saying,
Tiger got really excited when we talked about Vrah.
So, like, you can make all these, like, little funny moments for yourself.
And I'm just, like, kind of, like, laughing, playing the game, which is not typical,
it's not a typical gaming experience, really.
There's so many opportunities to laugh.
There are moments where you're like, oh, you guys were having a conversation, you two.
and made each other sad.
And Heather went and sat on her own by the beach
looking miserable as hell.
So funny.
But I'd imagine that like there is humor
with the, you know, auto-generated me's as well.
Yeah.
Because you can make them say whatever you want.
Here's a question.
Because so part of the setup,
first off, I will say the initial setup,
there's some things that stress me out
because there will be like,
this cannot be changed later.
Yeah.
And it was just things like,
what units do you want to use or whatever.
But still, I was like, Jesus fucking Christ.
Yeah, you're committed to this.
I'm pot committed to this for, I guess, for life.
But one of the things you get to do is decide what the people on the island are going to call you,
because you, the player, are presence in the game and you have a hand that you can, you know,
choose the skin tone of that represents your hand.
Yeah.
And I always messed that up.
For me, it's a little tricky.
I never have a problem.
You got, yeah, you're going.
option one
I go with the one
because like
I got some pigment
yeah
there is like a
you never want to pick the one
that's like too much
because it doesn't seem right
right
but then the one I end up picking
is always like
I should have probably got
there's never one right in the middle
kind of where I need a little bit more
I'm also trying to be outside a little bit more
so maybe I could earn the
hey get a little sun
got to get my vitamin D up
thanks doc
man, I've been that vitamin D hole at myself.
My wife called me a freaking Indorian the other day.
Roasted my ass.
It was really funny.
I was like, I'll show you.
I've been walking like three miles every single day.
I get a lot of sun and I still end up with a vitamin D deficiency.
And so I just take supplements.
Yeah, they gave me one.
Isn't that, isn't Mother Nature amazing?
Isn't that like that we have evolved to turn sunlight into nutrients?
Yes.
What the fuck is that?
What is that?
Look,
we could,
we could,
we could be here all day.
I,
I,
I'm constantly fascinated at the dumbest shit alive.
Like,
of like,
just like,
I think I told you guys this
when I was watching
the pit with my wife
who's in a hospital
every single day at work.
It's the one show we watch
where I pause it
and ask her questions.
Yeah.
Because I'm just like,
okay, okay,
hang out,
hang out.
They're like open somebody's
fucking chest cavity.
They're moving organs around.
I pause and I go,
where's all the blood?
I expected it to be wetter in there.
Right. It's dry.
Yeah, because the blood's in like veins and arteries, right?
The blood's in veins and arteries.
It's not just loose.
You're not just a bag of blood.
I thought there at least be some kind of goo in there or something.
I don't know if it's bone dry.
I think there's maybe some goo.
There's something, but I thought there'd be some sloshing around.
They're wet, but they're not, like, there's no liquid.
Right, right.
So I was...
It's like a moist sort of thing.
She's always teaching me stuff about how the human body works.
It's fascinating.
There's a pit episode where a guy is a permaboner, right?
Did you see that one?
I saw that.
How is it?
It's fucking crazy.
Can you spoil it for me?
How do they resolve his permaboner?
They like, fucking jack him off.
I was watching, I think I was watching a different show.
It's a 3D episode.
Yeah.
No, I think they like put a needle in his dick, like into like a vein or something.
And they like, uh...
People care for that.
like took some blood out basically.
Well, props that actor for staying hard for an entire episode.
It was,
it was crazy because you'd never see an erect dick on regular television.
Yeah, I know, yeah.
But it was like,
those hogs are always flaccid.
It was not one,
it was also not one of the crazier things in this season.
I think, maybe in the first,
I can't remember it was the first season and a second season,
but like an old lady was like fucking backed up
and they like stick a finger in her ass,
and then she like shits all over the place.
And it like blasts shit on a guy.
Jesus.
It's such a good show.
Do they not have a better solve
than just like putting a finger up there?
That's the thing.
I'm thinking of all this stuff like,
you know, we're talking about like,
oh, you need vitamin D here.
You can go outside
or you can take like a pill
and like then be on it.
There's some things that they're like,
there was something they did in the show
where they like,
it's such a thin margin of error.
some guy was like misaligned in his spine basically from his neck and he was in like such
severe pain that like the options were to either do like a very risky surgery that would take
hours and hours or they could immediately solve his issue by snapping him back in the place
but the margin of error was so high that like if it was done incorrectly he would be paralyzed
forever and they do it and it works and it's just like that just works that's fucking crazy that's so
crazy.
Doctors,
you guys are great.
And we love doctors.
Yeah.
Some of them.
Some of them.
Not that fucking Fauci.
Just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Wrench, you seen any pit?
I haven't seen any of it.
Yeah, me neither.
Everyone who watches it says it's great.
And I know I can just watch it.
And then where I work, I work on the Warner Brothers lot in Burbank.
They shoot the pit.
And so sometimes you'll just
see like Noah Wiley walking around. It's crazy. Man, he's handsome. He's a very handsome man.
That's crazy. Age like fine wine. Yeah, he's great. And I like that he's kind of salty.
Like, they'll always any opportunity be like, George Clooney said that he likes the pit.
That's so cool. He was like, ah, who cares? He hasn't talked to me in like 14 years.
Like, he's like, it's nice that he's, I'm cool enough now for him to talk about me.
And I'm like, that's so, he's so fucking mad. It's so funny. He rocks. I love.
them. But maybe I'll put Dr. Robbie in the... You can put celebrities. It encourages you to
like have fun and like make people you know or like famous people and put them in the game.
Which I will get to my island in one second, but I do want to ask you because one of the things
they, where I was going with this earlier, one of the things they ask you in the initial setup
is what you want the people on the island to call you. Oh yeah. I chose Tiger, which I'm just like,
hey, I'm that, yeah, call me Tiger and whatever. Fine. What did you choose? I chose Big Dog.
You chose Big Dog, very good.
Ranch, what did you choose?
I chose my God.
You said it's that screen cap, and I just laughed out loud.
It's so good.
Because, like, yeah, there are choices like that, and you're sort of like, I guess, I think you, you, well, I don't know if you can change that one.
I know you can change the name of your island, which I was just like, I don't know what to call my island.
I'm just going to call it Apodaca Island.
That's just like what it is.
had to type in phonetically, like how to pronounce my last name correctly.
What was the first attempt?
Apodaca.
Apodaca, sure.
Yeah.
And I assume you had no problems.
But I did, like, I did that.
And then I landed on Big Dog.
Nobody calls me that.
Yeah.
I just kind of thought it'd be funny to have them call me Big Dog.
It's fun to be the Big Dog.
And it does make me laugh every time.
Yeah.
I think, I think we, this added to your roster.
of nicknames. I don't know if you guys got to call me big dog.
I wouldn't, but I wouldn't say no.
Mr. Games, the franchise,
the finisher.
Yeah. Wait, there's the Xbox
Kid. We sort of scrubbed that one.
Xbox Kid, there's not enough room
in the... That one's defunct. That one's defunct.
And now replaced... The artist formerly known as the Xbox
kid is kind of good. Artists formerly known as the Xbox Kid.
And now
the Big Dog. Or just Big Dog.
Because you know what? I'm thinking of the shirts.
And I know the shirts kind of went the wrong way.
Yeah.
But I'm kind of bringing a...
I'm trying to steer the ship.
Yeah, the shirts kind of went like anti-woke in a certain point.
It was just like, oh, man, I thought the fun of these were they were just stupid.
Yeah, I thought they were just supposed to be silly.
Yeah.
But now with me being a big dog, I'm taking it back.
Yeah, you're taking it back.
You're not being like big dogs only have two different restrooms.
Yeah, big dogs get a cold beer from their wife when they get home.
I'm checking with a big dog company.
fuck are those dogs up too
they're being crazy
but I picked big dog
I picked yeah Apodaca Island
like I said and then it's just like
then it becomes a matter of like
you know I find this game
the most
recent comparison
being
Pocopia of this type of thing
and Pocopia to me
even though I'm a big Pokemon
fan I know Heather's put way more time into
Pocopia because it scratched an itch for her
that
not that it didn't for me
but I just was like not
there's too much other things going on
gaming wise I want to get back to it
I find Pocopia is so much more stressful
because there's always a guy being like
hey excuse me real quick
can you give me like a toy or some shit
and it's like yeah yeah yeah but like
when somebody has an issue
in Tomidachi life
they're like
I'm hungry and then just give them food
and like that's funny
Nick pulled up a big dog.
I regret to inform you that there's just a straight up big dog Blue Lives Matter shirt.
Jesus Christ.
The big dog is a cop and it says, born to protect.
I got to wipe my island.
I got to call me something else.
I'm taking it back.
No, you're taking it back.
You're a different guy of big dog.
It's a different kind of guy.
I'm not saying stuff like that.
They have a whole section just called patriotic, which is just all their freedom is the greater good.
Look, they saw where the money was going.
Land of the Free World.
home with a big hey yeah
if anything freedom isn't free
they also have it and Matt this one
this one I think is good
Doggers
Doggers is pretty good
it's the Dodgers logo
with the big dog and it says
doggers a lot of fun
I'm having a blast playing it
I do think that like I want to make more people
I know that I'll be able to make an apartment building
the terraforming stuff on the island is
always the thing that stresses me out
because like you'll get you'll get like a notification from one of your me's and it'll be like hey I have an idea
maybe we can like add some trees here or something right and that will cost money so they'll
like show you where the trees could go and then you just pay the fee to add the trees and that takes
so much of the stress out of it for me at least because I'm just like oh you you pick that's totally
fine. But then adding
buildings, you know, you
have, you start with a limited space and you can add
to the island and make the island bigger.
That's when I start to get a little like,
can somebody just do this?
I don't want to, I don't want to make it
bad. I don't want to put, I don't want to
have an ugly road.
You know what I mean? Yeah, right. I don't want to fuck this up.
I want it to be nice. You're, you're worried
about aesthetics, which understandably.
I'm worried about aesthetics because I'm just like, right now I'm just
trying to buy clothes that my little
would wear. Right. Some of my me's are wearing default clothes. I got you
like a purple sweatshirt and right now currently the shortest shorts that were
available which are cargo shorts which are not particularly short. I also made you a little
taller than everybody else. Okay. I'll take it. Um, ranch is in the default
clothing because I haven't I haven't found the ranch fit yet. Which is like a pattern
sweater. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't got that yet. Um, they don't sell my chemical
romance stuff.
That I'm aware of. They have real
world items in the game, which is very funny.
Yeah, in a lot of games there would be
branded tie-ins, but I don't know if I'd see...
I wonder how much of that Nintendo would
be doing. Maybe I can make one.
Maybe with the custom one. Maybe I
can make a shirt that says MCR on it or something.
Which I will do for ranch.
So I didn't just get as much time with the
game as you did, and I did not
grow my island's population
did not swell as large as yours.
But when I was trying to decide,
what direction to go.
And I do wish Heather was here
because I did this partly for her.
I decided to pay tribute
to the OG private island.
No, you didn't.
I made Little St. James.
No.
That what you called your island?
First inhabited a little St. James,
of course, was Jeffrey.
Oh, God.
And I did find myself at a certain point
looking at photos of Jeffrey Epstein
and then, like, how tall is he?
Yeah.
From your camera rule, right?
Me and him and Malcolm Gladwell.
I tell you, I saw Malcolm Gladwell in person, like, not long ago.
Wow.
Like, within the last, the list was out.
Yeah.
And it was public knowledge he was in it.
And I was with my old coworkers, walked by him.
Saw him type it away about some dumb shit.
The French fries used to be this way.
And they did stop doing it 10,000 hours ago.
Shut the fuck up.
He's crafting a new pseudoscientific.
Yes.
Theory just pulled completely out of his ass.
I walked past him,
clocked him immediately.
As soon as he turned to corner, I was like, guys,
that was Malcolm Gladwell.
He's fucking on the Epstein list.
My coworkers couldn't have been less interested.
I was like, isn't it crazy?
I was like, he's in big trouble.
He's like, at tartine.
Right.
It's just like out.
People are just out.
You can just do anything now.
You can just do anything.
It's so, nobody was bothered by it.
but I thought it was funny to see him
because he also looks like such a fucking loser
Yeah
He's kind of got those vibes
Anyway, I made Jeffrey
I made Jeffrey and once Jeffrey was
suitably leveled up
You get to add a second
In your islands I get out a second
But so of course I added Galane
And I will say I think my Galane
likeness came out better
The Jeffrey Epstein out likeness was a little tricky
But you didn't take photos or anything of it
I did use reference
Wait hold on let's see what I have on my phone
because I did take some photos.
I was also drunk.
That's another lawyer.
You were going to do that anyway.
I got home from work late.
I got drunk and I was playing more of the
more of a Tomodachi life.
Did you have a cocktail or a wine?
A little from column A, little from column B.
Oh my dog.
I love it.
Let's see.
Did I take...
Oh yeah, I just have this one.
Welcome to Little St. James Island.
With the Jeffrey?
With the Jeffrey waving.
And so now everybody on your island.
Oh, yeah.
And then this other one I screen cap,
Little St. James Island.
Whoa, cool name.
Thanks, Nintendo.
Little Santa James.
So you did that.
Did you add anybody else?
So I have those two.
And then as it's going,
as like those are the natural one too.
You got to have them.
That's the Batman Robin of a little St. James.
Then I keep going and it's like,
who's the next move?
I went with Bill Gates.
That's an interesting one.
Not the bill I would have gone with.
But Gates got a lot of reps in with Epstein.
Yeah, he did.
Gates was...
And he got a lot more than reps.
Gates was spending so much time with Epstein that his wife left him.
His wife divorced him and said in the divorce that it was because of his association with Epstein.
That seems like he's doing some bad stuff.
It's so far the only consequence.
He like he lost his...
He got divorced and then like one harvour.
professor got fired.
Everyone else is just like a senator.
And like,
and then who else is in trouble?
Prince Andrew.
Oh, yeah,
that's it.
He's not one of ours.
He's not American.
Yeah,
yeah, we can't.
Americans play by different rules as we know.
Yeah, that's for sure.
I should have made Prince Andrew.
That's who I should have made.
That would have been the natural third pick.
You have time.
I have time.
No,
well, I Bill Gates and then I went with David Copperfield,
who's recently been more like a long time creep who had his own private island.
Yeah.
Where he's doing some bad stuff.
here, you're free.
But then had an association with Epstein.
Yeah.
That has continued.
The one thing I will say is that the moment that gave me, and I wish I had screencap
this, but the moment that that made me audibly like react was Epstein and Galane
bonding because they are both ambitious and know what they want.
Oh, my God.
the one thing about this island
this is sort of like if it can be done right
is because you just gotta do it
let's do a little St. James right
that's my approach
I'm reclaiming it the same way you're reclaiming Big Dog
on this on this island
in the game
adults cannot date kids
yeah and that's a good rule
that's you know what
it's maybe the most important rule
I would say perhaps that should be a law
perhaps it should be illegal to date
I think it should.
Yeah, yeah.
But, like, it makes a good point to say that.
Yeah.
But I also, I got this item.
I was able to get an item.
And it was called the Kid-O-Matic.
And it's like, you could turn any character you've made into a kid.
Yeah, pretty fun.
Maybe I'll be Balady, Jeffrey at some point.
See how he likes it.
See how he, he'll have a taste of his own medicine.
That's really, really funny.
Yeah, I will say, I would, like, that's the, I have boundaries for this, this very,
this exercise is a very poor taste.
I'm not going to put any kids on this island.
I'm just going to put all the celebrities,
all the celebrity friends.
I'm not going to put any kids on mine because it's like,
I don't know any kids.
Yeah.
So like if there's like,
I only know adults and like I'm thinking of who else is going to be funny to put
it out,
I'll probably do my brothers next.
And then,
uh,
you know,
any famous,
maybe I'll just then start doing famous people.
I have my nieces and nephews.
They're teenagers now.
And I feel like it's,
it's,
you know,
We all remember being kids, and it's just like the age of which things are, like, if they were younger, I'd be like, oh, they'd think it was cool. Now they might be like, oh, what's our uncle doing putting us in this game this week? So, I don't know.
Yeah, I put my in-laws in it, and my wife immediately sent a picture of both of them to them, and they thought it was so funny.
It is funny. They're like, what are we doing in there? It's a very good bit.
Ranch, you made an island.
We already talked about how your residents call you, my God.
What are the other details of your island?
I'm in there, and I've so far made seven of my closest friends.
Wow.
I have a couple more to go, plus Gerard Way.
And it has turned into basically a bachelor situation where everyone has a crush on Gerard Way.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
It's just what's going to happen.
Yeah, and I tried to nudge my character to, you know, befriend Gerard.
Right.
Hoping that would be the couple that starts.
Yeah, for sure.
To Mark's dismay.
And I approached Gerard, and immediately upon meeting him, he said,
sorry to interrupt Ranch, but can we pick this up tomorrow?
Oh, man.
I don't even want to talk to you today.
That's rough.
And then the rest of the day, he's like, following him.
He's trailing Mark around.
He's following Mark around and wants to be friends with Mark.
Oh, boy.
Look, when Mark's around, you're going to want to be friends with Mark.
That's just how it's going to go.
That's at least my experience.
Every time I around Mark, I'm like, this is my fucking guy.
He wants a, Gerard Roy.
Way wants a new bag.
Mark makes bags.
They're very cool.
Yeah, they're very cool.
What's the website?
Mrs.mark.com?
Mrs.mark.com.
This is Mark.com.
Wow.
There is the whole thing of, I think this part, and it's like the Sims is the same sort of
thing.
Yeah.
Like,
like the,
the part of the fun of it is you want certain things to happen.
You're trying to engineer certain things to happen.
And they don't always,
sometimes they do,
but sometimes they don't.
And it's kind of fun when things go a little bit awry.
Yes.
I'm interested in seeing how.
But I didn't think about building my own harem.
That's an interesting.
Yeah.
I didn't think about that either.
Yeah,
where everyone's just like.
Everyone's trying to date me.
Yeah.
That sounds great.
That is really funny.
Well, when you make you,
when I made my first me.
Yeah,
I don't know if I'm going to add myself to Lil Saint James.
You pray.
Yeah.
I think that just puts me on the file so now.
The one addendum to the actual list.
What's that guy doing there?
Yeah, I thought I'd add myself.
That's a funny kind of guy, a guy who wants to be important so bad that he's trying to get himself in the Epstein files.
It's like Steve Renazizi's new move.
No, I was on it.
I went there.
No, you didn't, dude.
Why do you keep saying this shit?
A plane again?
Another plane lie.
I can't trust anything this guy says about planes.
Oh great, now he works for air traffic control.
I am going to for sure keep playing this game because I'm having a blast with it.
I want to see how far it goes.
I want to make more people.
I want to see my friends getting in there, getting the mix.
Because here's, I mean, this is like the fun thing about like real life.
when you have like a
like a big event or something
like a birthday party or like a wedding
or like anything where there's like multiple groups
of people
converging that you know separately
and they're interacting with each other
in a different way
it's kind of like it's kind of interesting to watch
who's talking to who
who's talking with who
like oh my grandpa's talking with
you or something
it's weird it's funny
I chop it up with your grandpa
I mean here's the thing
he'll talk to you for the rest of your life
bring it on
love it. Because he also has
stories that he'll just
tell you again. But he's great.
This was years ago, but
at one of my brothers' close friends'
weddings and his family are family friends with ours.
So my old family was there. Their old family, of course, was there.
So there was like the rehearsal dinner.
One of the people who was at the rehearsal dinner was the
groom's grandfather.
And afterwards, or the next day, Nate's like, yeah, after the rehearsal dinner, me and his grandpa went out.
We got drunk.
It was fucking great.
And I do think my brother's like fucking with me or whatever.
At the wedding, my groom's grandpa comes up to me.
He's like, your brother's a hell of a guy.
They just like partied like all night together.
That's so fucking funny.
My brother just locked in with his grandpa.
Yeah, I was hanging out with grandpa.
I was hanging out with grandpa.
Not even his grandpa.
No.
Nobody,
because nobody drinks
like somebody else's grandpa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm loving it.
I think the game is really funny and fun.
And I do wish that like,
it is kind of crazy
that it's a Switch 1 game, actually.
It's weird that there isn't like a Switch 2 enhanced version.
I don't think there is.
No.
I mean, and it probably runs better on Switch 2.
Rant you are playing on Switch 1.
and the
and the
I didn't let you vocalize
but yes you are
I'm playing it on your switch
one
well I wasn't trying to get that out of you
I don't need it
but yeah
it's it's very like
it's not super resource intensive
obviously and it's using MES
but so it's not like
this doesn't have this like
you know MES date back to
the Ds four generations ago
yeah I mean so they've been around
forever they're really
simple by design,
I do kind of, I will kind of
say if there's something that doesn't keep me
playing this game,
it's just being on the Switch 2.
Yeah.
Which I just like, I find rare occasion
to power this sum bitch on.
And I like, also like,
this is the kind of thing where I'm like,
wouldn't I rather just be playing Star Dew Valley
on my PC? You know what I mean? If I'm looking for some sort of casual
social sim game, wouldn't I rather just kind of be doing that?
because it's kind of like PC game energy, you know what I mean?
Yeah, and to that point, though, too, the game, as far as I can tell,
has, like, a lot less going on than something like a Star-Due value.
Star Do you can really sink your teeth into.
This, I'm just like, how can I make myself laugh in this second?
Then I guess maybe I should just say, like, the Sims with mods or something.
Sure, sure, sure.
You know what I mean?
It's a similar sort of, like, the semi-passive experience, you are making decisions,
but the characters have their own lives, their own agency.
Like, that's funny thing.
But honestly, the game is, like, cute and fun.
It's got funny stuff that happens in it.
And some of that can be a result of your actions,
but some of that is just, like, organically sort of happens.
And I love those moments in game.
So it's a really impressive design.
I already mentioned the customizability of the meat creator,
but then also just, like, how many different options there are
in terms of like, you know, any situation where you can pick a word.
Yes.
Or like you have so many options and then also a lot of times you can add your own, as you were
saying.
And then personality attributes, things like that.
It's not just like shy, happy, sad, withdrawn.
Like it's not just like, it's like there's a whole bunch of options, a raft of
options that you can make people really feel distinct from each other.
You didn't make yourself so you don't have an answer for this.
But when I made myself, I like picked what I thought.
Because you get like a personality, like, chart, and there's two ends of each spectrum.
And so I tried to answer as honestly as I could, like, what I thought were I slotted in.
In my result?
Outgoing charmer?
I'd say that that's you.
Hey, I'll take it.
Ranch, I call Matt an outgoing charmer.
100%.
Who, me?
You're always out there chopping it up.
Big smile on your face.
It's interesting that kind of you vote to say.
fishing for it, but I find
myself sometimes, maybe as I get older,
going in too, where I'm just like, I don't have it today.
I don't got it, I'm not trying to chop it up.
I'm trying to chop it down. Yeah.
I'm trying to go home. No, I know that feeling.
Ooh. Sometimes you're just like,
I'll talk an Uber driver's ear off, and then there are other times
I'd be like, I wish I was in a Waymo right now.
So I just had my thoughts to myself.
But it was funny to see, and so far
my island is full of other little psychos just like me
but it'll be interesting to make
I wonder if I should make an enemy
like somebody I don't like and put them on the island
and make it so that nobody's friends with them
but you can also add little lingo things
like when you become friends
you can add like a nickname that these two me's will call each other
right and so like for me and my wife I put like
what we call each other which I won't say
Not that it's bad, but it's just private for me.
Yeah, right?
Things are just for me.
Yeah.
But I know it.
I'm just going to lie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know it and it's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And before anybody guesses, it's not fuckbot.
That's not what my wife calls me.
But you put that stuff in and then like you see those characters calling each other that.
And it's like, it's just like, I don't know, it's sweet too.
Like it is like a nice little cozy little thing.
And I was not ever going to play it until.
the listener made us and I was like, I got to check this thing out.
It seems, it seems awesome.
I'm glad we covered it.
I'm glad I spent some time with it.
And I'm interested in messing around with it some more.
Before we wrap this up, I just want to say, I just want to throw in some details that Heather gave us about her island.
I'm reading Heather's text.
I named my island, CIA Island and had the Mies referred to me as director of projects.
Here's a quote.
Oh, I can totally see that.
You're speaking of the podium after overthrowing governments to victory.
Impressive. A lot of this, I think, comes from that the Stroke set that was just showing at Coachella that was just projecting all the CIA assassinations and clues over the years.
Link sounded really interested in overthrowing governments when we talk. There's actually Link is in there talking to whoever this is.
Their favorite celebrity is Alan W. Dulles, who was director of the CIA from 1953 to 1961, head of the Warren Commission investigating the death of JFK.
My plan is to see if I can get them to plan a coup or 9-11.
So there is something for everybody in this game.
You can kind of just do whatever.
And I'm just really looking forward to keep playing and see what else unfolds.
What other little silly little interactions I can crack with my twisted little mind.
You're like fucking jigsaw.
I'm like jigsaw.
You know what?
Maybe I'll make jigsaw.
Can you make a, that would be a, feels like a fun game if you could make your own jigsaws.
You could make your own saws?
Like jigsaw was in it, but then you could make sauce.
Like make little like saw scenarios for that?
Yeah, I'm like, I'm putting three guys in here and I'm going to put a chain around each of their dicks.
And they kind of either.
They got to pull off one of their dicks because the key is inside of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The locks will break if they get hard, so they have to either jack each other off or cut their dicks off.
I was like, I guess we'll just do the first one.
Because we're going to get hard.
Guys, I got a segment.
And the segment is...
Oh, no.
What's going on?
What's the issue?
You seem like something's awry?
We're going to do the segment.
I'm going to find what I'm looking for.
I forgot to dig up a file for this,
because I can't remember if we did this segment pre or in the ranch era.
Okay.
And you can leave all this in.
The segment is called What's Their Age Again?
I sang a song
I have the file somewhere
I'll see what I can do
You'll find the file
You'll sing the song
And then we'll come up right here
I had sang it already
I wasn't going to try to sing it again live
Oh you were you saying it
I was too embarrassed to sing it laugh
Okay sorry sorry
But the songs
It's a parody
And we don't really do stuff like that
No we don't really do stuff like that
It's a parody of what's my age again
Blank 1882
But it's specifically about
This game, this segment
what's their age again.
If I remember correctly,
it was in the episode we did
about Super Mario RPG
with Django Gold.
That's the debut of it, and I did it on Zoom
to a stranger. I can't remember if Ranch was here
for that. That does not ring about it.
I don't think that predates to Rochelle.
I ought to find the file. My life's ruined.
It's a good song.
But maybe, so here's what's going to happen.
You're either going to hear the song, or
I didn't do it and then
Ranch in Post.
If I don't find a song, you can put booing in right now.
You ever think about if you were in a saw, how you do?
Because a lot of movies, I'd be like, okay, I'd be dead immediately.
But when the saw is like, I feel like I crush a saw.
Well, the punishments are often not actually escapable.
They are like, cut your own fucking leg off.
Yeah, but I mean, I'm like, I'll fine, I'll cut my own fucking leg off.
But they usually bleed out and die.
They're not like, okay, I did it.
Now you're free.
I would give myself a tourniquet.
I was in Boy Scouts.
Okay, okay.
Cut off the circulation.
I was like, I'm losing this leg anyway.
I'm not going to bleed out too.
Not to reference another podcast.
This is very producer Ben of you.
No,
this is the thing I'm most producer been about
is when I saw as I'm like,
I can do the saw.
Which, by the way,
I watched a simple plan over the weekend
because I went and saw
the new Bob Odenkirk movie Normal
at the Vista.
Took my family of the Vista.
Wow.
Their first time there,
we all had a blast.
There was a Q&A with Bob.
Everybody was happy.
And everybody was like,
this was a great LA day, we love it.
And I was like, I felt like a million bucks.
They showed a preview for, you know, they show old previews there at this movie theater.
They show the trailer for a simple plan.
All four of us sort of all look over at each other and goes, that looks fucking good.
That looks awesome.
Sam Ramey film, but Simple Plan, it's great.
Yeah, it's really good.
So that night, Isabel and I put it on and we're just losing our shit.
We're like, this movie's fucking awesome.
It's really, really good.
And then that night, I listened to the Blank Check episode where they talked.
about it with Kevin Smith and it's I think look you want to listen to a good podcast that's a great
episode of a podcast yeah go check it out uh Kevin's got approximately 1,000 stories and they're all
great but it is the origin of Ben thinking he can get out of any such like he can get out of he would
do that situation well yeah he's like if this happened to me I would do it right is basically
what he says and it's very very funny it's a good bit uh but if you also haven't seen that movie it's
fucking incredible it's really good it's basically like found money gone wrong yes and it's
It's just, it develops in every, is the most satisfying possible way.
An all-time Paxton performance and an all-time Billy Bob performance too.
Everybody's fucking great in it.
Anyway.
Now it's time to say the age to me.
Are they 19?
Are they 23?
Is it canon?
Is it just a thought?
The matcher research probably not.
Can our contestants guess their age?
What's their age again?
What's their age again?
What's their age again?
I'm going to name some guys, some video game characters.
And you're going to, Ranch, you can play this too, because I designed the game with you in mind.
Because I picked characters you would know.
Wow.
And you have to tell me how old do you think they are.
And whoever gets closest, not Price is Right Rules, we'll get a point.
Got it.
How old is Leon S. Kennedy in, I don't actually, now I'm thinking about it, I don't think you play this one, Ranch.
but I think you can still get this.
How old is Leon S. Kennedy in Resident Evil 4?
How old is he?
I'm going to say 37 years old.
I'm going to say 37 years old.
Ranch, what about you?
I have played this.
Okay, yes, you have.
I'm going to say 33.
Ranch is closest.
Wow.
He's just a young pup.
He's 27 in Resident Evil.
He's that young.
See, because I read some, because he's in Resident Evil,
Requiem.
Yes, and he's 51.
So that was kind of trying to do the math backwards from that.
Yeah.
But I guess, yeah, that points to Ranch.
He's 51 in Resident Evil 9, which also takes place in the future a little bit.
Oh, okay.
So it's not contemporary, but like...
I was off either way.
You're off.
Ranch gets the point.
Wow.
How old is James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2?
And for the sake of the game, we're talking, we are talking about...
We're going to talk about the original.
I went too old last time.
We're talking about Silent Hill 2, the original, like not the remake.
Not the remake.
Got it.
It's true for both, but we're talking about that.
I went too old last time.
I'm going to err on too young this time.
I'm going to say 24.
Okay.
I'm going to say 35.
Nick's going to take this one.
Wow.
He's 29.
He did all that.
He's 29 and he did all that.
Yeah, right?
What the hell?
He's crazy.
So it's a tie game.
It could be a.
one's game at this point. How old is Alan Wake in Alan Wake 2? These are all kind of the same
kind of guy. Yeah, right. There's the same kind of guy, the same sort of survival horror sort of
genre. Hmm. Boy, it's a good question. He reads, I'm just, I'm just going to go with my gut.
He reads as 40. I don't think he's going to be that old because it's a video game. So I'm going to
say he's
34.
I'm going to say
37.
Ranch is going to take this one.
He's about
48 or 49 years old.
They ageed him appropriately.
They age him appropriately. Yeah.
Because in the first one he's in his 30s
and then after the
time gap or you know between
one and two.
And for how long he's in the
realm that he's in or whatever
he's
48 or 40.
He definitely reads as a middle-aged guy.
So there you go.
Yeah.
Hey, how about that?
We represent all ages in video games.
That's fun.
And hey, you know what?
He looks pretty good.
Looks great.
He's got cool hair, cool beard.
He's wearing cool clothes.
Personality's bad.
All those shadows going, wake.
Wake.
Are just horny.
He's looking good.
Yeah, they're like shouting him and they're like, oh man, wait.
The cat calling him.
Yeah.
How old is Ada,
Wong in Resident Evil 4.
Who, boy.
How old is Ada Wong?
You weren't here when we did the Segment Dreamcast,
where we cast Gemma Chan as...
Pretty good.
...a Wong.
I think we all got a little crazy for a second.
We're all sort of banging our heads with mallets.
I think it's possible.
Ada Wong hottest character?
Very, very.
a very, very fetching video game character.
Definitely up there with Amy Rose from Sonic the Hedgehog.
And pregnant Sonic.
Pregna Sonic.
I'm going to say 23.
You're going to say 23.
Ranch, what about you?
She was reading older in their dynamic, so I want to say 30.
I think I've got to give Ranch two points for getting it right on the dot.
Wow.
Well done.
Ranch is two points.
So that means you, that means you have four.
points. Nick has one. Wow. Wow. I didn't have to give her more points. No, I think it's fun.
If you get it on the dot, that's a new rule. New rule. I'm not going to do it. Never
mind. How old is Claire Redfield in Resident Evil 2? Who boy, 31. Nick says 31.
25. Ranch is going to take it. 19. She's 19 years old. At the time of the game in
in game it's
1998
they somehow have it
that she was born
in 1979
19 years old
wow how about that
we love it
and finally
ranch is the winner
but here's the last one
yeah fine
ranch one
how old
are Mary Kate and Ashley
and Mary Kate and Ashley
Sweet 16 license to drive
boy I'm gonna guess
16
okay
interesting
ranch
16
15.
The answer is 16.
I can go out the door with two points.
I'll take it.
Well done, Ranch.
That's this week's get played.
Our producers of Michelle Chen, Ranch,
twitch.tv.tv slash yard underscore underscore Sard.
What are you streaming these days?
Still on Resident Evil Requiem.
Wow.
We're on the spider part.
Okay.
So I'm not touching it.
Yeah, yeah.
My friend Joanna's going to come in and do it for me.
Okay, great.
Speaking to Joanna, plug your podcast.
Oh, you can listen to Defiles' Podcast.
Wherever you get your podcast, we talk about ghosts.
A lot of fun.
Our music is by Ben Prunty, Ben Prunty Music.com, our artist by Duck Brigade Design, Duck Brigade.com,
kinshipgoods.com for merch.
And a bonus episode every Wednesday in our Patreon, get play, DLC.
Matt, what are we doing this week?
This week, we're doing another retro rewind.
Heather will be back.
Nick, you will not be there for this.
But it is, we watched a...
an actually insane video.
It's a Sega Dreamcast summer internal video.
So it's from the summer of 1999.
Wow.
An internal video from Sega
that then was released online for some reason.
And we had a time watching it.
It is crazy.
I'm bummed I missed out on that one.
I'll watch the video.
Patreon.com
slash get played.
Who got played this week?
I guess a bunch of me's?
A bunch of me's got played this week.
Me got played.
Me got played.
What an inversion.
Me got played.
You.
Me.
Huh?
Swish.
That was a hate gum podcast.
Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Sterling K. Brown.
And I'm Chris Sullivan.
And we host the podcast.
That was us.
Now on Headgum.
Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us.
That's right.
We're going to go episode by episode.
We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Are we going to cry?
Yes.
A little bit.
Are we going to laugh?
A lot.
A whole lot.
That's what I'm hoping, man.
Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.
