Ghostrunners - 46 - Beak of the Chicken

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

You can find out how big an acre is by playing the CPR simulator in the airport. Just make sure it's not made in China. Email [e-mail] if you'd like to apply to be our YouTube video editor! Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P  Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brad Ellis? Jake Triplett. Hey, dude. Hey, man. I noticed something in the airport that I thought was pretty fascinating. Maybe you'll get a kick out of it. This was like a week and a half ago. There is a machine in there, like right next to the trash cans and recycling bins.

Just, oh, while you're throwing your trash away, would you like to learn CPR? Because there is a torso where you can do that. What? It's like a vending machine where the torso pops out of it or what? It does not pop out. You don't get to take the body home, but there's just a flat, like just body with its chest exposed. And then like, there's like a monitor to teach you how to do CPR right there in the terminal.

What? Yeah. No way. I'd never seen it before. You're like, yeah, let me put my compostables away. And then, you know, just do a quick CPR over here. I was going to say that is just a prime like video just waiting to happen. Stay with me.

You'll be okay. Cursing at it. Yeah. Stay with me. I'm not losing you. Don't you go dying on me now. Yeah. Like who is practicing CPR at Gates

C37 Southwest Airlines right now you call 9-1-1 you go get get an AED you go get my Cinnabon Hello, everybody. Welcome to... What? I think I got nervous. I was right in between saying welcome and welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome to... Welcome... Here we are. We, you know, I'm rusty. It's been... It's been a while. It's been a minute. Yeah, almost two weeks since we've recorded. And a lot has happened, both in the world. Both personally and globally. Yeah, and in our own lives. But we are the least Corona-talked podcast in Kansas.

That's right. So we're going to keep it to a minimum today. Y'all have heard enough about it. And honestly, I'm a little embarrassed. We've said some things on this podcast about the coronavirus, which are just so factually incorrect. And I'm just like, I'm embarrassed to go back and even listen to it. It's like, oh, I said so many things that were so stupid. It's so naive. Everyone was saying crazy stuff. It was weeks ago. No one knew anything, but I do feel bad for what I said. Like if someone were to go listen to that episode now, they would be probably angry that's okay but whatever we didn't know we got the chief superbowl

win right though we predicted that i told you derrick henry was not gonna run for very many yards and he did not we nailed that's true we'll always have that yeah we'll always have henry remember when we told thousands of people that we were gonna win superbowl and we did yep not we but our our close friends patrick Mahomes and Sammy Watkins did for us. Yeah. Right. But anyway, let's update the people on what's been going on in our lives. Yeah. How have you been?

I've been good. I think you have a way more interesting life right now than me. But you did your taxes. I did my taxes, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Tell them about the text. Yeah. I feel like this has happened multiple times to me in my life where you'll be doing this really fun, exciting thing and I'll do like an extra mundane thing. Like more boring than normal. For whatever reason, both the times that you've gone on tour, Catherine has been in Texas, like gone on a stint where she and Hattie go to Texas for at least a little bit of time. And so,

uh, there's, yeah, there's been times where I've just been by myself doing the most mundane things. And so this time I was literally sitting in this chair. Like we have this ugly sentimental chair that Catherine's grandma gave her. It used to be Catherine's grandma's and she's deceased, not, not with us anymore. So we have this chair in our corner of our bedroom and I was doing my taxes while Jake is, you know, wowing hundreds of people on a stage and just making them laugh. And I'm literally just like, yeah, filling out my expense reports and doing all this stuff for TurboTax and, you know, giving a bird to the computer screen. Like home office over 300 square feet. You betcha. Let's go. No doubt. No doubt. You know, I'll appreciate those assets. I don't know if that's the right

word, but anyway, but I was just, and so I texted you, I was like, Jake, I'm literally sitting in this flowery chair doing my taxes and you are out, you know, making jokes to millions of people. Millions. Yeah. Felt like it. Yeah. No, I love sharing that with people because it was the night of the Louisville show, which

we had talked on the podcast that I was going to go for the Louisville joke. And so I texted Brad and I was like, dude, Louisville joke. I went for it and it went well. Yeah. And so he's like, you know, happy for you. Proud of you. Just FYI, I'm in a ugly chair doing my taxes. And it was fun meeting people later that night.

And they're like, you know, I listened to Ghostrunner. It was nice to meet you. Too bad Brad isn't here. And then I would show him that text. I was like, he wishes he could be here, but he really has to file his taxes tonight. I have FOMO, but you know, yeah, taxes come first. Especially after that officer visited Peter's house.

Oh, no doubt. I was scared. I pressed, you know, file or whatever. And I was like, I probably did something wrong. They're coming for me five years from now. I'm going to hear about this. Yeah. It'll show up at someone's door, not mine, but someone's, uh, but yeah, quick recap on the tour. It was really fun while it lasted. Yeah. It was, uh, you know know it would have been one thing if the first two shows didn't go that great and then there would also there would you know in a way be a little bit of a silver lining to this it'd be like you know what maybe this is okay it got postponed because we need to work out yeah we weren't quite prepared like we thought we were but you know i

think i can objectively say the the show went phenomenal from the very first run and it was just cool to like feel you know just somewhat like professionals like wow people paid to be here and we gave them a great show uh it was just it was really really fun and really rewarding to feel like you know we worked at something and it paid off and right everyone you know had a good time uh yeah and then so it's kind of funny the show goes amazing uh go out and i have my own little meet and greet which i was not necessarily expecting like you pay to meet trey sure and i just went out in the lobby and i'd never had like a line like just naturally or unnaturally form or you know any if you want to see jake and your paleo come over here, if you are, you know,

gluten-free and you want to see Jake. Right. No, but. Naturally. Yeah. Just people were in line to see me and it was really fun. And oh, also autographs are still in. Really?

I thought it was all pictures. That's what I thought. I thought the selfie had overtaken the autograph. Yeah. So you, you signed some autographs? Well, kind of. So many people were like, I would love for you to sign this. I'm like, I don't, I don't have a pen. Like you don't have a pen? You perform comedy? No, you're never, the person signed the autograph is never expected to have

the writing utensil. Well, I guess the other guy there, there was a, there was an opener who went with us as well. He had his own pen. I don't want to hear about this guy. Making me look bad. No, no, no. That guy, that guy's above and beyond. He probably, no one was actually asking for his autograph, but he brought out a pin. So people are like, well, I guess I should get this autograph. Like, oh, I guess autographs aren't out after all. You know, that's his fault. Don't, don't feel shame for not having your utensil. I was like, I'm sorry, guys. I legitimately did not expect this to happen. And I didn't even know this did happen as I'm signing it for people. I'm telling them, I promise you, this is not worth anything. I promise you don't need this or want this.

It's funny you say that about your signature because the week before you left, you had all these note cards with all your different jokes that you were kind of going over. Oh, that's right. And one of them said intermittent fasting, but I swore that it said intermittent farting on it. It's like, let's hear that one. Because it was such bad handwriting. So I was like, whatever signature you have, no one's ever going to know who signed it anyway.

So you're fine. Yeah. Okay. So anyway, yeah, the first show goes great. I'm feeling just high on life. Can I have a question? Yeah. Um, what was your favorite aspect of the show? Like performance wise? Cause obviously you did some introduction stuff. Is that right? I know you definitely did like a standup act, obviously. Then you also introduced Trey. Is that right? Or did that is incorrect. Okay. And then you also did something at the end where you were with Trey. That is correct. What was out of the two things that I had out of three that I know you did, did you like doing this stuff by yourself more or were you more comfortable when there was the three of you out there together? I think my favorite thing, I mean,

it's definitely, it's very, very fun to get to sing on a stage. Cause I mean, just, I don't deserve to, cause I'm so bad at singing. Like you could argue that you're a professional musician. Like you got paid to sing. You got paid to sing. That means you're professional. Like I love the challenge of coming up with things on the spot, which is what we're doing. But I think my favorite thing that first night was I thought of a joke. So while I'm rehearsing, I'm just like nervous, like crazy about 45 minutes before I go on stage, I'm just pacing around in the green room by myself going over my routine. And while I'm going through it, I thought of just like a joke essentially to like tag one of the other jokes, like at the end of it. And so I was like, I feel

really good about this. I think this is funny. I haven't tested it at all, but I'm going to say it tonight. And so I said that, and that was like one of the biggest laughs I got all it. And so I was like, I feel really good about this. I think this is funny. I haven't tested it at all, but I'm going to say it tonight. And so I said that, and that was one of the biggest laughs I got all night. And so I think that was really fun. It just really like affirming. I'm just like, oh wow. I got this.

I'm good at this. I made them all laugh with something I just thought of. This is so fun. And Jake, you should probably just spend more time thinking of standup material because it comes pretty easily when you work at it. But I mean, this thing is great. It crushes every night and it's so fun and trey just dominates me i mean i'm trying my best and

he's just hitting every note and those runs right and uh yeah i'm trying my best yeah so the first show goes so well i do the meet and greet i'm signing autographs you know i'm feeling like the man yeah you know and i get back to the green room and alan the pianist with us our friend he goes dude have you checked twitter and pridefully i'm thinking are we trending did we do it did we are we like are people talking about us are this 700 person show trending nationally you know i just i was thinking crazy i know it's it's embarrassing to admit but i do get a kick out of it. I love that. Immediately, that's where my mind went.

It was like, oh, he must. What a social media like guy too, to think like immediately. You know, trending locally in a little area. Right. That's great. And so luckily I didn't say, are we trending? I didn't have time to get that out of my mouth. But essentially that's when everything went down.

Which is so between when you were on stage. Yeah. Is when everything went down, which is so like kind of funny, just poetic of just like, we were in an alternate reality for about three hours and everyone in the crowd also didn't know. Yeah. We were some of the last people probably in first world countries to find out that like, so I'm like, no, what happened? And he goes, Tom Hanks has Corona, Rudy Gobert has Corona. They canceled the NBA. You know, just tell me all this stuff. Think of anything you like, you can't do it anymore. Pretty much is what he said.

Yeah. So it's just like, oh, well, there goes all the momentum. Dang, that's too bad. So, yeah. So like right then and there, was it like dark cloud? Like, okay, this is inevitable. It's coming. Yeah.

It kind of felt like oh we might get to finish out the weekend and you know only got one more show but overall i mean trey was a phenomenal sport about it i mean like sure you know he lost so not lost money but lost out on yeah so much money and just like able yeah his accounts receivables looking nice and now he has nothing sure um he just you know he's put six years of his social media you know equity i guess into these sold-out shows and then he's got to postpone it again and he was a great sport about it and i think all of us were just kind of like you know how upset can you be right it's something that's one out of your control and two like is affecting other people way more than it is us exactly i i think about that yeah even when i get upset about sports

like i just think okay dude chill out like there's bigger things in life right now that you can be upset about but it still makes me upset i'm still i'm still human yeah definitely sad um yeah totally it's like anytime you do get sad you're like okay think about what's going on for a second and then be less sad about this, please. Because when it first hit, it was like, nothing was getting shut down. There's no quarantining. It was just like, dang, just large events are not happening. Right. So it was almost, I don't know, an interesting paradigm, I guess, of, wow, the coronavirus is affecting our current tour so much. But if we were just normally living our lives, it would not affect us at all because we just make videos out of our homes. Like this is so interesting. And now

obviously it's become a big thing where I could say I'm one of the least affected people in America probably by this. And I'm like very, very thankful. Like I'm realizing that more every day of just like the lack of, I guess, anxiety and fear that I feel. And I'm like, a lot of people are probably not in that boat. So I'm very thankful. Hey, I'm just going to plug right now. Dave Ramsey, man. If you just, if you're you, you actually had a conversation with a guy, uh, uh, in Louisville, was it? Yeah. He was the, like the backstage engineer. Like he pulled the curtains and he was talking to us about Dave Ramsey. Cause those guys that, yeah, that, that venue's not going to have worked for a long time. And the guy's like, no, I'll be okay.

Thank goodness for Dave Ramsey or something like that. Yeah. He was like six months, whatever it's called. Heck yeah. Six month emergency fund. So yeah, that's, that's getting me by. And I'm honestly like, if you're not already, check out Dave Ramsey and or something that can handle finances for you.

Cause anyway, that's, that's a tangent, but yeah, I'll have to say, I know people are worried out there about finances and I am too. So anyway, two of my favorite compliments I got on tour were about the jacket, which I am wearing now because I just, I want to perform in this jacket now, you know, bought it at Zoomies. You feel good. There weren't that many people, but a couple of people were like, dude, love your jacket. I was like, thank you so much. Oh, thank you so much. I picked it out in 10 minutes at the mall. Oh, I appreciate that. And then other people, I talk to them and they say, hey, thanks for talking to me. You seem like a great guy. I was like, oh, yeah, that really warmed my heart. Like that meant more than any laugh I got all night. And you say, I am a great guy. That's crazy. You say that I'm a phenomenal

guy. I'm a better guy than you even think. No. Um, sometimes like Catherine will respond to compliments like that by like affirming herself. Like, like mostly when it comes to food, like I'll be like, Oh, this is really good. She'll be like, wow, this is really good. And I think she's more like, it's like a new recipe that she hasn't tried. So she's excited too. But it's like, whenever, like whenever I'm saying, I'm saying you did a good job, you know, she's more just like, yeah, yeah, this is awesome. You know? So what if it was like, Catherine, you, um, you look really pretty today. I looked in the mirror and I was like, yeah, this is a good day. Smoke show. Like pretty almost doesn't even describe it. Right. Like I'm more than pretty. Pretty. Yeah. Think about a few more synonyms, Brad. You're better than this.

Pretty hot. Pretty? Yeah. Think about a few more synonyms, Brad. You're better than this. Pretty hot? Yeah, right. That's a funny way of responding to affirmation. No, that's awesome, though. I'm glad that they found genuine goodness in you. Yeah, or at least they think they did. They have the idea of it. I have not ever met any other opening stand-up comedians after their shows. But I feel like you in a normal conversation is very pleasant. You're a very pleasant guy.

You don't ever act like you're better than anybody else, which you're not. If anything, the other way. I remember that from the beginning with you. You were always smiling and always laughing and like laughing at me like not like like okay this guy's funny

but he isn't like so funny that he's like no one else is funny you know what I mean thanks dude does that make sense yeah I appreciate it so you are a genuinely good guy man

I am you seem like a good guy well yeah I'm from Missouri last thing I'll say about the tour which everyone is probably going to get a kick out of. In Knoxville. I've been waiting for this.

You're the only people who really got to experience it. So the shows did go great overall. However, Jakey made a boo-boo in Knoxville. Big old boo-boo. So I essentially did the same exact routine. The second show is I did the first show. Obviously I didn't say the Louisville joke, but, uh, everything for the most part landed. And there were a couple of jokes that didn't hit super hard, but I was like, I don't want to just

completely scrap them back. We didn't get an amazing laugh. So I'm done with it. I was like, that seems extreme. Let's play with it. And so in my eyes, I thought I said everything the exact same way, but wow, was there a different reaction? So let me go ahead and just tell you everything that was said. And cause I'm never going to say this on stage again, so I could say it now. Um, okay. So the, the setup is I say, you know, so I get done with a few jokes that, um, went well. And then I say, you know, so I'm probably, uh, I, you guys could probably tell, but I'm pretty new to stand up comedy. And for some reason that actually got a laugh. I wasn't planning on that. Or I think I said, for some reason, everyone loved that. I think I said it like, I'm pretty new to stand up comedy.

And you guys are probably like, yeah, we can tell, you know, they laughed at that. And then I, you know, was saying, I, when I got started, I asked my friends, like, what are some topics I should talk about? Give me some material work on. And they said politics because they're morons. And, uh, and I was telling them like, no, I, I don't want to talk about politics. I mean, one it's polarizing, but two, I just, I feel so dumb when it comes to all the rules and regulations. And I just don't know that much about it. Like I couldn't even vote until I was 18. So that gets a little laugh. Yeah, sure.

And then it gets kind of a delayed laugh for people to like realize what I said. And so I can just keep talking and say like, so I'm just playing catch up. And then while they start laughing, I'm like, oh, it sounds like some people in here are playing catch up too. And then that gets like a little bit of a laugh.

So it's all building. It's all building, this politics thing. And then I'm like, oh, and this is the other part. So when I'm looking at my entire, you know, 15 minute set, I was like, if there's one joke in here that I'm almost worried that like maybe has been said, it's this one. Like I'm worried, like I could see Jimmy Fallon saying this joke and I just don't know it because that's how good I thought it was. Are we trending? Okay. Here it comes. So after all that, then I say, okay, I will say one thing about politics. I think no matter what side you're on, no matter who you vote for, I think we can all agree it's

pretty crazy how popular the coronavirus is getting, you know, considering Trump's typical policy on things made in China. And when I tell you, you could hear a pin drop in that theater in Knoxville. I am not exaggerating. It was so, so quiet. I'm not kidding. Ask anyone who was there. It was so quiet. Oh man. Like imagine saying that and then nothing. You can't bash Trump in a, in a, in a place like Tennessee, man. They're, they're all about. I didn't even think I was bashing it. I truly thought it was like a neutral thing to say. I thought it was clever. I thought it was funny. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking that Jimmy Fallon's got the same material and wow. Did it bomb? It was so on one end. Yeah.

Super humbling. Yeah. And on the other end, like, I don't know, I guess I kind of surprised myself at my lack of panic. I don't know why I was like, I got one show under my belt. So I'm not, but I really was, I was just like, all right, that didn't land. And I didn't have anything prepared. Oh, I had to address it. I was like, okay, so no, no Trump jokes in Knoxville. And they laughed at that. Okay. They're back. This is great. And I was like, made in China. Okay. Nothing kept explaining it. Like, do you get it? Wuhan? Yeah. The the coronavirus kind of started in china yeah and yeah that's what i said something i was like made in china okay well i'm trying to think of where to go from here and then they laughed at that yeah they love the country puns yeah so it was fine but wow

it was real bad i love it dude if someone wants to leave us a voice memo next week and tell us, if you happen to be there, tell us from your side of things. Oh, I'd love that. What it was like. So yeah, I will never say that on stage again. And as I was going to bed that night, I was like, okay, if we have a show tomorrow night in Charlotte, definitely not doing that. And I was planning on putting in the intermittent fasting, the intermittent farting.

Oh, you were. Because I didn't have that normally in there. I was like, I feel good about that bit. We'll toss it in. That would have been a good one. Whew. Okay, I've been talking a lot.ing. Oh, you were. Cause I didn't have that normally in there. I was like, I feel good about that bit. We'll, we'll toss it in, but that would have been a good one. Okay. I've been talking a lot, Brad. No, no. I like you talking. Give me something. I'm going to drink. I'm drinking out of a two liter of Mr. Pibb right now. Well, okay. Yeah. I like that. I had some earlier, assuming that you just poured it into a normal glass normal time, most of the time. And now I'm worried I'm going to get the Rona because of that.

I'm sorry if you do, but you know what? I'm asymptomatic right now. So I'm fine. Um, my, my one main thought about coronavirus and the whole hysteria behind like the TP, like bulking, like buying all this stuff at, uh, grocery stores and whatnot is that people should be buying things in bulk all the time, regardless, especially things like paper towels. Exactly. That's where I was going to use it. I was going to clarify. Don't buy 15 apples every time.

Like, but yeah, like anything, like buying in bulk is always cheaper. There's never a time where it's like, oh, it costs way more to buy 15 rolls than it does to buy three. It's like, no, always cheaper. And you can guarantee that you're going to use all those pieces of toilet paper in your life. And so it's like, like on one hand, I'm like, why are we buying all this toilet paper? On the other hand, I'm like, no, one's going to regret any of that. Even if, even if like the toilet paper gets replenished next week and there's more toilet paper supplies, they're

still going to be like, Oh, Oh, well, I guess that wasn't as big of a deal to get it all right now. But if I can afford this, like if you can afford it, always buy in bulk, Oh, Oh, well, I guess that wasn't as big of a deal to get it all right now. But if I can afford this, like if you can afford it, always buy in bulk, everything, everything you can Costco Sam's club. Yes. Everything that's not like perishable and you guarantee that you're going to use it. I bought a big old jug of peanut butter the other day. Cause I know I'll use it. Exactly. Exactly. A hundred percent like peanut butter, uh, whatever, whatever, fill in the blank. You, you can get it, but like saltine crackers. Sure. Uh, Q-tips. Okay. Um, hair, haircut scissors. Oh yeah. Buy those in bulk. You need a lot of those. Yeah. I like to keep them sharp. Sure. All right, Sweeney Todd. But yeah, I think like just

anything you can just do it. Um, and, but I think there is a danger that where, where, where Costco gets their, like makes most of their money is by people being convinced that they need stuff in bulk that they don't really need in bulk. They then buy more stuff that they don't really need. Like packing peanuts. I'll just let FedEx do that. What was I thinking? Yeah. I do not need a basement full of packing peanuts. And they don't taste nearly as good as the other peanuts i have this is a waste of time uh can we then can we can we transition uh sorry what i said basement full of packing peanuts it reminded me of the foam story oh geez can we tell that story real fast

my dad another another story we talked about a story that my dad loved last week with getting zach back in the bathroom for the royals game my, like this might be his all-time favorite, like bachelor, like story from our friendship, I think. Like loves this story for multiple reasons. And I guess I don't really, I don't see it as that funny. Maybe because I'm the butt of the joke. It's not that funny to me, guys. Quit picking on me.

I don't know. Maybe, maybe you're the butt. Well, go ahead and tell it. And I'll explain why the part that he thinks is really funny. Here's what I can remember about this. It was pretty quickly after I moved to Kansas City, I moved in with Peter Casey. We're working in youth ministry together. And when Peter and I get together, at least back then, we were very just like kind of

entrepreneurial, you know, just like, what can we start while we're working in youth ministry together? Like a side hobby, side hustle. You know, we had this like thrift, thrift shop website for like six days and thrifters with a Z.com. Oh yeah, baby. Uh, we, we had all sorts of stuff. Snaps, you know, snaps, snaps, um, just anything that could possibly end in a Z we were into. But one of the things, this, I guess was not that entrepreneurial it was just like this would be so sick yeah i see on craigslist one day that this gymnastic this yeah gymnastics gymnasium is getting rid of all of their foam blocks and we have this huge basement where kids are coming over

all the time and we were just like how sick would it be to fill this sucker with foam blocks and then kids could just like play in it uh-huh i don't know actually yeah yeah yeah uh yeah i don't really know what we were thinking but they were just giving away thousands of them for free it's like well we got to do this right and neither one of us had a truck at the time but we both had uh pretty small cars so just packing these full of just bags and bags and bags and taking them back to the house and i mean you you did how many trips both of you i mean like a dozen a piece probably it was so many it was so many but we were like look all these blocks dude so many blocks i don't know what we were thinking i'm sure at the time i could have explained this better or like had more rationale but they're pretty like gnarly blocks too like Like you'd find band-aids on them. They were

pretty ratty. There was a reason they were getting rid of them for sure. The corners were not intact. It was not like a perfect prism structure. It was pretty rounded off. And they were, they were like crumbling, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. That's what I remember is like touching one and like, yeah, just like, it was like cornbread and they were all bagged up. So they didn't get that, didn't get your car that messy. Two weeks later, a bunch of these high school kids for my birthday filled my car with those foam blocks. That wasn't very fun or funny. I just had foam blockage everywhere. And then I just had to get it out myself. Thanks guys. Thanks for the birthday wishes. Good. I guess like I've only known you for a month and you like me enough to do this, I guess.

I guess you're comfortable. Yeah. Um, whatever the word is. Graffiti. That's not the right word. Vandalizing. Vandalizing my car in a small way. Um, okay. But then at the end, yeah, you take it from here. That's the part that I think, and I don't remember exactly the details, but basically, um, a couple of years later, we'll say, they decided to renovate your house. And you had a, what's the word, disciplinarian as a president of your board. As an overseer. Yes. She was a strict one.

She got on to you guys about things. We'll just keep it at that. And she came down to the basement one day and all these blocks were in like their storage area of the basement. And she just goes, what are all these blocks? And for whatever reason, my dad just loves the idea of like this woman who's very strict and very like high strung, seeing all these blocks and these two like young bachelor dudes just being like, oh, we thought it was a good idea. And then- Never used them once.

And then you got rid of most of them, but then there were still so many that you had to like store them and stash them up in like the rafters of your garage, right? Well, to get rid of them, we were like illegally dumping them. I would just- Everywhere. Because yeah, I would just fill my car with all these bags of blocks and just drive to like an apartment complex Yeah, dump them in there

I told that like huge garbage thing was full and then find a new apartment complex And if it just got sick of doing that Yeah, throw them in this crawlspace in my garage and then they end up renovating the garage and like completely tear tearing that We're gonna tear down the garage and make a new one. So my dad loves the idea of like Imagining her seeing all these blocks up there that they're supposed to get rid of. I told you to get rid of all these. Like I genuinely forgot that I put them up there.

Oh my God. So anyway, Jake and Jake and his blocks. Really? That sounds, that sounds like a Jake idea, but that really sounds like a Peter idea. Like Peter, I can just hear Peter being like, we should get all those blocks. Like imagine if we had all these blocks. I really think it was more of my idea and Peter just didn't stop me

or didn't have the nerve to like tell me it was a bad idea. But well, I mean, if the blocks were better, I think it could have been an okay idea. Like, but the fact that they were unusable was just, just so funny to me. No one wanted those blocks. Anyway, buy everything in bulk, except for blocks. blocks anyway buy everything in bulk except for blocks do not buy blocks in bulk block no no bulky blocks so um that's pretty much how i feel

about the coronavirus i don't want to i don't have many more opinions beyond that of just anything but um one last thing to say and this is actually something you brought up to me is the emails dude dude yeah hey here's. Hey, here's what Eddie Bauer is doing in response to COVID-19. It's like, I don't need to know that. It's like, when have I ever even bought from Eddie Bauer? How do you know who I am? I didn't even have the Eddie Bauer edition

of my Ford Explorer back in the day. Like, yeah, who do I got here? Like, why do I need to know what Raising Cane's is doing for COVID? Here at Yahoo, we're taking COVID-19 seriously. Yeah, Hotmail. Here's Hotmail's response to... You guys are still in business? AskJeeves.com cares about you and COVID-19.

Oh, yeah. A word from our CEO. It's like, I guarantee you, if you're reading this, you have not read a single one of those to any business that you have not used in the last month, we'll say. Oh, yeah. There's no way you're reading, even like the good ones, even like the Christian ones. Like you're not reading World Visions. I don't, you're not.

I know you're not. It's been a great, a big blessing of this whole pandemic is like, wow, there's a lot of email lists that I'm on that I need to unsubscribe from. It's time to unsubscribe. Yeah, from a lot of these. Oh, yeah. It was just like every day it's amazing like the the progress like i think i've gotten multiple from certain companies because they're like well we've changed our policy we should probably we should probably let them know in case they read that one from last week uh you

know ll bean really just like keeping me on top of things it's like thank you guys uh yeah that's that's a good good good reminder just those emails it's like i didn't know i even had you i don't know who you are sometimes i had to be like what who who who is this oh yeah i got those emails too it was just like thomas newman what i'm doing about like are you a company who are you yeah and i looked it's like some videographer i guess i bought some i don't know i thought about like, sarcastically sending something out for Ellis custom creations, Ellis custom, various.com and Instagram, Facebook. But I thought a good stick. So I was like, I don't want to be insensitive to this stuff because it is a serious thing.

Yeah. You got to tow the line. You do. Yeah. Or not even get that close to it. Probably. Right. Like look at the line and be like, Hey line, but six feet away. Yeah. Nice. Same page there. Yeah. I'm looking at my email now i cafe rio who i guess that's a restaurant i don't even know what that is it's a restaurant on the river cafe rio rewards what we're doing about ups scott's tube fights fedex airbnb chipotle uh that one's actually pretty important yeah i read that one i've had chipotle so much. Really? I think the queso is getting better. Okay. I tried it.

I've been loving it. I told you I tried it. Queso Blanco? Te gusta? I thought it was okay. I think I was hyped up because Connor said it was better than the original. Connor? I think it is better, but I thought it was fine.

I don't need the queso though on Chipotle. Chipotle is good enough for me without it but what i recently discovered which has made me just crave it even more is i've taken out my sauce or spot or really or no no pico de gallo no and just let the queso pack the flavor for me because there are tomatoes and stuff probably in the yeah i feel like i taste the queso more without the pico. You taste it. Queso, queso. Queso, queso. Interesting. No, pico de gallo is one of my favorite ingredients they have.

It's so fun to say, too. Well, I always call it mild sauce. Pico de gallo. Yeah. You know what that means in Spanish? It's an interesting thing. Okay, okay, okay. Pico, pico.

Paco means little, right? Or poco. Un poco means little. Pico de gallo. That means a little down south. It does. It does. It just means, can I just get a little down south? A little down south. So they always put it at the bottom of your burrito right there, and they just kind of tuck it in. Yeah. A pico de nayo

is up north. Correct. And the pico de guayo is... They just spread it out. Yeah, wide. Deep and wide. No. Pico de gallo. Gallo means hen or like chicken, whatever. Female chicken. Correct. Cox, wide. Wide. Deep and wide. No, pico de gallo. Gallo means hen or like chicken, whatever. Female chicken. Correct.

Cox in the hen house. Hen. So pico de gallo means beak of the hen. And so… I've been eating chicken beaks? No, no, no. I'm glad I took it out. But listen to why they call it that.

I think it's so cool. They call it that because it bites but it doesn't hurt. AKA it's a little spicy, quote unquote. It has some spice but it's a little spicy, quote unquote. It has some spice, but it's not, it's not actually spicy. So you're telling me bites, but it doesn't hurt. I've been scared of chickens biting me this whole time and it won't even hurt. Nope. That's what I took away from that story. Yeah. Chicken bites don't hurt. They don't, they, they kind of pinch. They go like, Ooh, Ooh, that was mild. Hey, I felt you. I felt you there. That's kind of tingly.

Felt you there on the knee pit, but you're not going to, you know, you know, draw blood. That is a fascinating way to name something. Isn't that? A chicken bite. Yeah. Hmm. Good for the Spanish. Beak of the hen. Did most Spanish, like the language come from Mexico or Spain? Spain's probably older, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know the etymology. I don't know if that's even the right word. I don't know the edamame. I don't know the edamame parts of it. No, I'm sure it's from Spain mostly. But there's different dialects. I think pico de gallo is only in Mexico.

But you choose not to say pico de gallo. You say mild sauce. I do. I think that's like a hipster Chipotle thing of me. Like, hey, I was cool at Chipotle back when it said mild, medium, or hot. And now I think it says something different, like tomatillo salsa or something. Oh, interesting. You know, and so I always call it mild.

Did you know two things? Chipotle menu quiz. Okay. Did you know that you can, it's not a quiz. It's a did you know? Sorry. Okay. Do you know what I'm going to say?

You can get two different things. Okay. It's two things that are on the menu. Kind of the same thing. Okay. Quesadilla? No. Okay. I i don't know okay uh a margarita yes two you can get like a 13 dollar margarita with patrone yes they have if you ever look there's patrone in the fridge yeah i think that's so funny it's so weird that they have alcohol in general there because it's

like a fast food feeling restaurant and it's like pretty upper end tequila like so random 13 dollars i think it's i think that's the patrone Like so random. $13. I think it's, I think that's the Patron Margarita. No way, dude. I've seen a few people have margaritas there before. Um, really? I want to see it so bad. It's pretty normal looking like, like to the point where you might have seen it and not realize it was a margarita. They put it in a burrito. No, they just wrap it up for you. They put it in there. You would never know. It's just in a plastic cup, I think. And it's just like, Oh, there it is. Is it really? It's just in their normal plastic cups. Oh no, not in like a, not like a, not like a plastic cup i think and it's just like oh there it is is it really it's just in their normal plastic cups uh-huh oh no not like a not like a not like a

paper cup it's like i think it's a different plastic cup oh i see i guess it's a special plastic cup but it's yeah it's not the same um anyway yeah i didn't know that but there's no way i'll ever do that like very rarely will i ever buy alcohol in public anyway because it's like you can get so much cheaper at home and there's no free refills ever. And so why would I do that? But no, never would I get margarita there. One thing about the Chipotle app, which I've gotten pretty familiar with because no go inside anymore. Oh, so they bring it out to you? Yes. So you could still like do carry out, which I don't know why I keep doing that because delivery is free. I guess it's just kind of fun to get out of the house. Yes, seriously. You know, but in the app you could select, I want a 20 or 32 ounce drink, but there's no way to put what you want to drink. And there's no notes

section. It's not like Postmates where you can add in a note. What? There's no notes. No notes. Luckily. I mean, they know this. So they, when you go, they're like, who are you? And I say, I'm Jake. And then they say, you have soda. Okay. And then I say, yes, Mr. Pibb, please. That's interesting though. That, that seems like a really easy thing to add in the app of like, who are you? And I say, I'm Jake. And then they say, you have soda. Okay. And then I say, yes, Mr. Pibb, please. That's interesting though. That, that seems like a really easy thing to add in the app of like, right. This is especially people are going to be hitting his heart. Yeah. Interesting. Um, I am not a fan of delivery. I feel like they, the few times I've done it, they've skimped me big time. There was one time I got a burrito and it was like a baseball. It was so tiny. What is this thing? I thought it was like the wrong ingredients. No, it was the right ingredients. It just was very little of all of them. Today. I took my last

few bites of my Chipotle burrito on the pickleball court and then just started playing pickleball and rumble in the jungle for a while. I was like, I'm probably just going to hang back for the next few points for like 20 minutes, uh, before I get in a pool or rush the net. Right. Cause that's the rule. I think you can't get in the kitchen after rush the net. Right. Because that's the rule, I think. You can't get in the kitchen after you eat the Chipotle. Yeah,

oh, that's what it was. Yes, can't get in the kitchen 20 minutes after you eat Chipotle. Yeah, wow. That's a pickleball joke,

guys. That's for our pickleball fans out there. If you're listening, Pickleballers92. Just a little pickle jargon for you guys on this Monday. Yeah,

a little pickle jar. Again, I wouldn't be surprised if no one really listens to our podcast for the next couple months. Really? when like when would they do it inside of their homes crazy yeah did you see there was one person on their instagram story this week it was amazing they posted like them road tripping i think they're in new zealand or something uh

i'm sure this woman will say something to us uh woman she's a girl she's 25 probably but she hasn't earned womanhood yet. Have a baby and then we'll talk. Has she even had her debutante yet? Probably not. She's definitely not had her dev ball. Um, but she, she was like, uh, all these people can't hang, but it was like a recording of us. Like it was like her listening to it and showing this 15 passenger van. Everyone's just asleep. Everyone's asleep. It was like, Oh, cool, guys. But it was hilarious, too. It was like, just listening to us, it was like when we were talking about, like, if it's a normal name or if it's a name like Kensington or something. So I'm like saying, it's like Kensington.

And all these people are just dead asleep. Dang, they didn't love it. They did not enjoy the Kensington joke. So those people are listening on the road. Other people have said they're listening, you know, WFH working from home, but. Oh, I've been seeing that, that acronym around town. I'm like, what does this mean? Will, will what for, will, I think there should be another letter in there.

I couldn't figure it out. Work from a home. What about, do you know what OOO means? That's a corporate one too oh it's usually a capital o little o big o out of order close vending machine oh out of office yes very good bingo bingo bongo what about eob eo o eod is end of day what are you saying end of end of breakfast end of end of bullet points end. End of biweekly bulletin. The Bishop?

Think about the stock markets or something like that. Brokerage? No, sorry. Maybe that's a bad idea. End of business. Basically, like, same thing as end of day. Oh, it's just the end of business day. Like, end of business day.

Oh, okay. Start using that. It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family.

Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. Yeah, those are about all I got, I think, that I can remember from the corporate life. But WFH, I think, is one that's definitely a corporate thing. Do you think Fifth Harmony's song, Work From Home, is crushing it? It's in my head, for sure. View it? It's in my head for sure. Viewing how to go to work for sure.

Yeah. I saw that old song, It's the End of the World, is like skyrocketing right now. It's like doing better than it ever did when I first came out, which is interesting. You know who sings that? R.E.M.? Good song. It's my favorite part of sleep for sure the best part um i was watching something on hulu and then it was like the most recent episode and then so it just

like went to an automatic show that i didn't choose you know basically and it was the first episode of the last man on earth have you heard of this uh no will arnett he's a snl guy anyway um first episode like the very first scene I only watched like 20 seconds of it, but it said the year 2020, one year after the virus. And I was like, holy cow. Oh mama. Yeah. Didn't watch anything else, but I thought that was kind of interesting that they called

it. Not really, but. I saw that there is like this movie Contagion that's like decently old or not that old, but several years old. It's like trending on Twitter. Cause I guess it's pretty close to like, yeah, that's pretty close to what's happening really yeah crazy times crazy times man while we're on the somewhat on the subject of you consuming uh things or maybe our podcast this week one quick thing we want to say is i think we're ready to to get on youtube.com especially now

that maybe it would be easier to watch us rather than listen to us because you are w-e-f-h-e-t yeah you got no just keep it keep it don't say it again they know yeah because you're doing that yeah maybe more fun to watch us so if you're out there preferably if you already have adobe premiere pro experience you don't need to be a uh super proficient but i think if you you have to have it yeah if you're already paying for it that'd be ideal so you're not having to pay you know 20 bucks a month for this let's say if i if you would know how to like let's see if i say like i need you to get the right the white balance right by eob by eob could you do that do you know what that means if you know how to adjust the white balance then that's uh that's all it takes okay that's the barometer because then that's, uh, that's all it takes. Okay. That's the barometer.

Cause Dwight never lies. Uh, so yeah, we're looking for someone, uh, to potentially edit our videos for YouTube. And I think I could teach you a way where it won't be super long. Obviously you'll have to watch the whole thing, but hopefully if you're listening, that won't be a big deal. Yeah. Cause you like us already. You really like us. Yeah. So hit us up, email us, um,

and we'll go from there. But yeah, we are seeking a video editor and yeah, we'll go from there. We'll figure it out. We'd like to get our stuff on youtube.com. Great. ASAP is possible.

Yeah. Uh, do you want to do some, do you have anything else to say about anything? Uh, sure, but we'll save it. Okay. I have some, uh, you want to do some, do you have anything else to say about anything? Sure, but we'll save it. Okay. I have some, you want to do some quick swicks? Quick swicks.

Okay. Tell them about it. So we got fans out in Ohio, Cincinnati area. Some of our favorites. Some of our favorites for sure. Last name, Swick, Steve and Kirstie, Scuba Steve, K Sweezy. They're married. They were messaging me on Instagram. I messaged Steven and I said, hey, we're about to record any questions or anything we could

talk about this week. And they almost immediately sent me eight, nine different questions. They were quick. They were quick on the SWCC questions. So these are called quick SWCCs or SWCCs. Yeah, quick SWCCs. Give me a catch. So we're going to ask these questions and we're going to go through them.

They're very random and I love them. Okay. I have no idea what they are. Okay. First one here, Jake, you are at a big family dinner, Thanksgiving, for instance. Do you want the food in a buffet line that you go through or on the table to be passed around? What do I?

Oh, I don't know if I have a preference on this. Do you? I would much rather have a buffet line because you don't have to wait in line as long. I usually just kind of sit on the couch and watch the line go through and then I can get in and get out and get on with my life. Yep. The more I think about it, that's true too. Cause let's be honest, I'm not eating a ton. You're not having the eggs. I'm not eating the deviled eggs, not eating a ton of green beans. So then I got to I gotta say that out loud Jake you want the green beans, right? No, I'm 28 and still don't like vegetables It's embarrassing grandma like the right stop asking me about it

You have like the pale plates like mashed potatoes turkey in a roll kind of a beige color scheme to my Thanksgiving plate Very very sepia. Yeah, so I think I prefer a buffet Right because then you don't get shamed as easily the shame goes exactly what you want you get as much as you want sometimes with the buffet too you know um okay we like i'm one of the last people in line therefore i can i can go pretty hard on these mashed potatoes right now you know whereas like before it's like i don't know maybe i should keep some then you pass it around and then it's way on the other side of the table you have to ask for the mashed potatoes again no, grandpa's got short arms. It's gonna take forever. Yeah, we call him t-rex because he's name is Rex

Okay next question When you were a kid on the diving board, did you have a spotlight effect? Like everyone was looking at you like on Sandlot? I Think so. I think I did too. Yeah, I didn't I'd never felt that comfortable on the diving board I didn't grow up with any kind of pool necessarily. Yeah. Was never taught how to do anything cool off the diving board. So I was like, get me off this. Right. I loved doing cannonballs, big Brad, you know, people love me on the diving board. Oh yeah. Brad, do another one. Do it! Big splash! Guys, watch out! Brad's coming! I would be like, let's go on your feet. Um, not really that extreme, but yes, I, I loved, loved it. So there were some people I, I would like to see Bill and I explain this.

There were some skinny little boys who found a way to make the biggest splashes. I don't know how they did it. They were always the same kids that had like no pain tolerance. I feel like, like they were like randomly like able to, you know, be a linebacker when they're 125 pounds or something. Yeah. And they get so sweaty in PE. They go so hard at PE. Sure. They had big foreheads probably too. Probably. Yeah. They were big foreheads. And they were, they were so good at making big, I would like to see a sports science episode on how they got those splashes that big. Yeah. They probably say it's all about the form. Well, not all about it, but in their case. Probably mental toughness too.

So that was quick, quick number two. Quick, quick, quick, quick. Number three, what's the limit on how big a yard needs to be before you can get a riding lawnmower? Great question. Jeez. So three for three on things I have never thought about before. When was the last time you mowed a lawn? Mowed a lawn? I guess it's been a while. I mean, I i grew up we had a pretty big yard you had a riding lawnmower got it oh definitely yeah and so i would mow that that from time to time but it's been a while since i mowed a lawn uh are they looking for this answer in acreage oh square footage if if you have an acre i think you're

good okay i don't know i don't, I'll be transparent time. I don't really know what an acre is. I don't, I can't tell you like, oh yeah, that's probably 10 acres right there. Here's a little secret to help you learn. Okay. No one knows. Okay. No one knows how big an acre is. No, because like people are like, yeah, it's about 50 acres. And I'm always like, oh yeah. And I, in my head, I'm like, is that like a baseball field or is that like, yeah, the Scott trade center? I don't know. Yeah. Is that the size of Rhode Island or is that just like the size of, yeah, my backyard right now?

Totally. Like I'm such a city boy in that regard. I will say my dad knows, but I think he's the only one. Okay. So like if you, yeah, ask him, but no one else knows, I think. Like I think we have an acre of land. You're on an acre lot? I don't know.

I think it's smaller. You're on an acre or a half acre. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you're a full acre. Like we have a pretty acre lot? I don't know. I think it's smaller. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you're a full acre. Like we have a pretty big lot and I don't remember. Maybe the church house that I lived at was one acre. I don't know. It doesn't matter. So my answer is, I think it's subjective. Right now I have somebody mow my lawn for me and it's awesome. Nice. But it's because, you know, time is money for me. And so I'm like, okay, I'll, I'll give this guy 30, 40 bucks to mow my lawn. And it takes him 30 minutes. Cause he's got one of those really nice ones. And in those 30 minutes, I can

get stuff done. But I think if you can play a game of pickup flag, two-hand touch football in your yard, then you should be able to have a riding lawnmower. I was going to go... An adult game of pickup flag. Not like five-year-olds play it out there. Not mini mites. Here is my scale. If you have two children under the age of six and they can find all of the Easter eggs you hid in your yard in under 10 minutes, then it's, it's just standing mower time. Okay. If it's more than a 10 minute Easter egg hunt, get that riding lawnmower. You deserve it. Yeah. Sit on that deer. Sit on the deer, baby. Yeah. Ride it. Love it. Love it. All right. Hope that helps. Quick, quick number four. How good does it feel to have your laundry done? Oh, this one's for me. How good does it feel to have your laundry done? Oh, this one's for me. How good does it feel to have your laundry done now that you've obeyed your wife?

Yeah, I did obey my wife. I did move my socks the right way. And it does feel nice. I have like five pairs of Adidas socks that are like better than any other socks. And for the longest time, none of them were available. And I was just like, damn. None of them were there. They were all at the bottom.

They were unavailable. Catherine stood her ground and she now wins. So that was quicksick four quicksick five does the fact that i don't know how to use or even know the names of most tools make me less of a man what do you think i mean yeah definitely i mean for me masculinity is all about just woodworking yeah yeah that's what it comes down to woodworking and chest hair sure and cooking steak oh yeah cooking steaks on the grill yeah yeah yeah there's only a few ways to be masculine I want my steak to bleed no I think there are uh some non-traditional ways to be masculine. I get it. There's things that I, you know, no one's asking me to fix their chainsaw. Yeah.

I don't think, unless, I don't see every DM. Not yet. They could. They could have asked. It went away before you could respond. Yeah, maybe they tagged me in their story asking about chainsaw help. You weren't much of a Family Force 5 guy, though, growing up, so that's probably why. I get the joke, but whoa, you could not be more wrong because I love Family Force 5.

Did you really? Oh, yeah, baby. Hold up. Wait a minute. Put a little love in it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Yo, me and Caitlin Triplett, Buffalo Chicken Dip.

Oh, we got down. I bet you guys recorded some good videos, good dance videos of your basement to those oh my gosh buffalo chicken oh family force i haven't thought about that forever bow to your knees and crack it like a chaser uh speaking of really niche uh christian artists are one of our managers touring with us daniel the man love daniel uh we were oh wait different guy hold on i'll talk about Daniel later no Daniel's still great I don't take back what I said we were at dinner one night after the show and this guy don't know his name don't know who this guy was at all I asked Trey after we got done with the dinner I said hey who is that guy that I was talking to and he said I don't know

who he is either so just we have a mysterious man at dinner with us and me and Daniel Daniel and Billy, the other managers, are going back and forth talking about all this cheesy Christian music we used to listen to. Uh-oh. You know, like Sanctus Real. Sure. Audio Adrenaline, dude. Audio A, baby. Yeah. Newsboys.

Delirious. Newsboys. DC Talk. Yes. Switchfoot. Hawk Nelson. Sure. All this stuff.

And then we were talking about first concerts. And I go, Stephen Curtis Chapman. And then that's when old guy, we were sitting, it's like a 12 person, very long rectangular table. We are perfectly diagonal. So it could not be further away. He says, I used to manage Stephen Curtis Chapman. And I said, no way.

And he said, which concert did you go to? And I said, I don't remember, but the album art, he had like a black turtleneck on. He said, I was there for that photo shoot. And I said, that's awesome. No way. I said, saddle up your horses, dude. And he loved that. And you guys started, like you guys stood up together, like saddle up your horses. Yeah. You guys like freaked out together about it. I love it. Yeah. It was so sick. That's the album that he did dive. I think that was his big, I feel like that was like his coming out party. Um, yeah, that's great. What

were we talking about before that? Oh, coming out party um yeah that's great what were we talking about before that oh masculinity real quick now that i'm thinking about daniel he's from alexandria virginia and so i said oh remember the titans right and he had all this like fun fact knowledge of like what was true and wasn't true give me a few um gary bertier yeah did get in a car accident that paralyzed him but it wasn't until after the state championship game, he played in that game. You're kidding. I am not. Get back in there. Or don't go.

He's like, don't come in here. Uh, shoot. Really? Which makes me feel better. Cause I mean, it gotta be one of the worst driving things I've ever seen. Oh yeah. Just, Oh, light's green. You know what I'm going to do?

Take my eyes off the road and gun it. You, you Gary. No, you man. As he guns it, not looking Gary head on a swivel. You play linebacker. I know you know about this. Yeah. Oh man. He was probably one of those guys that did really big can openers in the pool. Wasn't used to that. That's definitely what they were called. It was one of those things like who named this? Why is there a name for like a, a move into the pool? does that how do we all know oh that's something i've thought of before like everyone grew up making those stupid little s's in elementary school where they look like how did we do that without the internet how did we all know to do that probably disney

channel or something right i guess like they they define the culture for us back in the day i don't i don't know yeah because there's a lot of stuff that I found out we all did, but it's like, how did we all end up doing this? How did we all play mash? How did we all do cootie, cootie catchers? How did we all love gel pens? You know, like all this stuff. Gosh, I love gel.

It seems somewhat specific to your friend group. It's like, no, we all did it. Commercials. I don't know. Yeah. That, that, that's a good question. Um, does the fact that I don't know how to use or even know the names of most tools make me less of a man? No, because I didn't know how to do any tools until after I got married. I felt like

a man before I was married. The way you treat people and the way you lead their relationships and the friendships around you. That's what makes you a man. A hundred percent. There's a lot of people out there that are not very manly that know a lot about tools. Okay. Quick, quick number, whatever. Five. Also monkeys know how to use tools and Okay. Quick swick number whatever. Five. Also monkeys know how to use tools and they're not that manly. They're 0%. Well,

let's not get into it. They're 0% manly according to me. When you pump gas is it acceptable to get back in the car if it's cold or are you obligated

to tough it out regardless? Yeah, get back in the car. Totally. I mean, don't leave the car running. Keep the door open before you pump the gas because it's all like you're going to get electrocuted. I mean, don't leave the car running. Keep the door open before you pump the gas. Because it's all like you're going to get electrocuted.

Have you heard that? Yeah. Bring it. I've never seen any. I don't know a single person. I don't know a single person myself that's gotten electrocuted. I've also heard, too, like the reason you're not supposed to start your car when you're pumping gas is like it could backfire. Which hasn't happened since like 1938, I feel like.

That's the reason? Yeah, like if your car were to backfire. Then you go back. Right. You're back backfired that's what i was trying to say you're backfired to wherever you're going next so so you start your car even no i i don't roll those dice i think those people i mean talk about a true man i think those people are hardcore you can know as few tools as you want if you want to pump your gas while your car is started. Like, I will not do that. But yeah, get in the car.

No doubt. Definitely. You know, a little very specific pet peeve of mine is when it happens a lot at gas stations, but it can happen anywhere. Someone, it's wintertime. You are in the car somewhere, any seat. And someone like leaves the car really quickly, maybe to pump gas, maybe to go get something. And they leave the door open.

I am so chilly in here. Just shut it. Yeah. they leave the door open i am so chilly just in here shut it yeah please shut the door oh yeah i hate that i'm i'm pretty like yeah anytime there's like extreme changes like that in temperature i get frustrated that's that's that's something that we could have put on our march madness bracket it's just a lack of self-awareness right you're in the cold other people think about how cold i am now yeah you've changed my environment yeah and you've compromised your environment that you're getting back into guess what yeah it's going to take more time to reach homeostasis because the climate in here is different. Right. Cause you didn't homeostay in the car. You Nimrod. Yeah. Okay. Quick, quick number seven. We are all critical of the Chipotle

burrito wrappers. Speaking of Chipotle, the people that wrap the Chipotle burrito, burritos. Have you ever successfully wrapped a burrito that big on your own? I haven't even like put a diaper on a baby. So I definitely haven't wrapped a burrito. Right. Because that's kind of the order of operations there, I think.

Right. Like I felt more comfortable with my burrito wrapping once I had Hattie. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. So no, wait, are they saying we're critical of that or they are critical as he said we are all like i think it's just like a general societal thing oh um i don't get that

many things in my burrito so i think i mine are always wrapped fine stuff mine pretty good i get double white rice double mild salsa um but i don't get critical of them i understand that you get a fork in there and you scoop it up. Second drink, second meal, second burrito. Yeah. Yours like falls apart and you just scoop it up with a fork, like in a plate.

Yeah. And it doesn't normally fall apart either, but yeah, every once in a while it does. Cause they have, they give you the basket. Cause I always eat it there. I'm not a to go guy. No.

So, sorry. I didn't have a better answer to that question. All right. Quick, quick, quick, number eight.

Did humble salt get too humble to do more ads? Oh, i guess so hey we are always looking for more ad partners honestly i use humble salt all the time to this day um and we had an agreement for three ads and they did them and they loved it and they said it worked out well uh so we'd love to partner with you again davis um uh quick trick number nine final one. Why do they call it woodworking when you're the one doing all the work? I'll go ahead and take this one.

That's funny. A true woodworker recognizes the beauty of each kind of wood and helps it work for him in order to, him or her, excuse me, in order to really embellish and beautify the piece. So the wood does work alongside of you. You have to make sure you're putting in the right grain directions in order for it to work as well. So if Isaac were down here, he would tell you that's fricking true. So it sounds like a beautiful symbiotic relationship you have with the wood, Brad. I do. I have a great symbiotic relationship. I know exactly what that word means. I think it means like two things cohabitating that aren't like the same species.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Word of the week, guys. Use it in your conversations. Let me know how it goes. Symbiotic. It's not Lion King related. I was just about to say, not Mufasa.

It's symbiotic. That's funny. Not poombiotic. Not probiotic. Not kimonobiotic. It's symbiobiotic. Okay. Forget about it. Not probiotic. Not kimonobiotic. It's symbiobiotic. Okay, that has been Quick Swicks.

Brought to you not by Humble Salt, but by the Ghostwriters Podcast, Triple Media, Dick Triple Media, and Ellis Cousin Creations. Thank you for listening. Awesome. I got some real quick bullet points for us, Brad. Love it. One, episode one or two, I think you talked about the band Surfaces. Yes.

They're popping off right now. They're on Spotify top hits right now. Are they really? Yeah, they're like, that song's crushing. Which one? Sunday Best. Oh, it's such a fun. And as the weather gets better, guys, it's more and more fun to listen to.

Groovy. Like that, I cannot wait. Oh my gosh. I cannot wait for the summer nights playing pickleball with you, Jake. Meadowbrook Park. Bumping. Yes. Bumping Surfaces. It's going to be wonderful. Jake. Meadowbrook Park. Bumping. Yes. Bumping surfaces.

It's going to be wonderful. Oh. Oh, that's nice. What a glorious day. That's cool. I didn't know they were so successful. Yeah. So they're seeing a lot of success.

Another thought I had, I think recently we have been putting clips on Instagram of our podcast. We've been doing that for a while, but more recently I've been seeing comments like, I'm so glad this clip ended up on Instagram, which makes me think you guys should tell us beforehand yeah i would love to know which one yeah if there's anything like stood out to you like i would love to see the video footage of this clip right let us know we have them all yeah they're all recorded yeah it's like i have decent discretion but it's nice to know what you guys want as well absolutely another bullet point thank you ghosties out there for all the fun

uh encouraging supporting uh Spice comments. Because those really do help. And they're really funny most of the time. Because it was funny. On the podcast, we talked about the thick hashtag. And then they changed it on me. So I didn't use that. What was it?

It was just, I don't even know. I don't even remember. OK. But it wasn't thick with eight Cs. But there were so many people who commented that. And I was like, they listen to the podcast. No one else would know that. So that was really cool. I appreciate it. Um, what else was going to say? Oh, we have a fan of the week, quick blank of the

week. Love it. Fan of the week. Mine goes to Shay, who was at the Knoxville show, who showed up in an Ellis custom creations t-shirt. It was awesome. awesome i freaked out that is awesome imagine like you you didn't see her in the concert imagine you're just like walking down the street beforehand and this girl's got ellis custom creation shirt on i would lose my mind it was so cool that is awesome seeing it out in the wild yeah it was awesome we took a picture and it was really fun so shay thanks for coming out it was really fun she drove like an hour and a half to the show really yeah that's so fun that was kind of crazy. I would ask a lot of people like, oh, you're from Louisville? You're from Knoxville? And more often than not, yeah. No, about an hour out.

That's awesome. Whoa, dude. You guys really like Trey Kennedy. Or you, you never know. Mainly Trey. My fan of the week has to go to another person that bought a Ellis Custard Gracious t-shirt and her friend, Brooke and Holly. Shout out. they are Kansas Citians that listen to the podcast have been a fan of Jake for a long time or Holly has been a fan of Jake for a long time Brooke was like yeah Holly would make all these inside jokes about your podcast and I wouldn't really understand what they were so she's like you got to listen to this thing and so they are now listeners of the podcast and they are also part of helping feed Hattie food. So thank you for buying a Yellow Scouts of Croatia t-shirt and doing your part. I believe Brooke was also a

K-Stater. So every man a wildcat. Thank you, Brooke. Ema. Holly, you've not helped me financially in any way or help feed my future daughter, but we'll figure it out. She's listening to the podcast. And so we're going to get more ads from that, you know, from people, if you know somebody that needs to add on podcasts, we'd love to do it. So yes. So those are my fans of the week. Awesome. Fans of the week from here. Do we want to go voice memos? I would love that. I think we have a few to look at this week. What's up guys. It's Cole Claiborne again. Hey, I just feel the need to set the record straight with Brad about St. Louis. I don't know if this is going to come out.

I don't know when this one's going to come out. I'm recording this late on a Monday night. But as a Cardinals fan, I have to say, the label of best fans in baseball came from the media back in the 90s. Most fans, most true Cardinals fans, if they ever use that term, they use it ironically to make fun of it because it is objectively one of the dumbest monikers in all of sports. So anybody who says that and claims to be a Cardinals fan, they're just dumb because nobody who's a real Cardinals fan actually calls themselves the best fans of baseball.

Also, the Rams left because their owners were greedy, not because the fans did not support them. This is a dumb way to back this up, but the XFL team, tons, tons of fans at the games, St. Louis loves their sports. They love their baseball. They love the Rams. The owner was greedy. Best fans of baseball, stupid piece. You fit a lot in there in 60 seconds. All right. Okay. Let's go Missouri. I have nothing to say except for, okay, you got me. I don't, I didn't know that thing about best fans in baseball. Uh, I just had seen it. It's a social, you got me. I didn't know that thing about best fans in baseball. I just had seen it. It's a social media thing to me.

I'd seen people making fun of the Cardinals fans because they post videos of Cardinals fans doing mean, bad things on this best fans in baseball Twitter account. Oh, I see. So that's the main way I've heard about it. And then the Rams thing, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I guess you just don't have enough people in your city man um get some more people in there because the chiefs have a small market they're doing just fine they won the super bowl uh i'm just kidding did you hear that todd girley uh is released yeah i've been reading some articles that they want us to go after him yeah but i don't think we should i saw people thinking he's going to retire

like he at 25 but he's got like he's his body's messed should i saw people thinking he's gonna retire like he at 25 but he's got like he's his body's messed up i saw he has like degenerative degenerative arthritis in his knee okay which i feel like is not something correct me if i'm wrong but you don't want that right and i don't think most 25 year olds have it so okay that seemed rare yeah i got over mine pretty quickly but i know that's not normal good for you yeah i got pickled knees it's like tennis elbow, but yeah. Pickled knee. You took a true Ellis for your arthritis. Yes. True Ellis side effects, man. Yeah. Thanks for the call. Uh, Cole Claiborne. Yeah. Go chiefs and Royals. Hey, Jake and Brad. This is autumn from

good old Bolivar, Missouri. Look them bear cats. I love the podcast. I've listened to every episode twice. It's definitely my favorite. My question for you guys is, Jake, I know you're a huge fan of The Bachelor and that's what you want to be known for. So if you guys were on The Bachelor, one or bachelorette stepping out of the limo what would be your way to impress the bachelorette brad in this case the bachelorette is babe of the week katherine ellis all right thanks guys love you hey thanks for the call autumn that was great lick them bear cats lick them i uh i actually had this thought the other day when i was entertaining hattie you you learn new things that you have you had this exact

thought of like i'll use this if i'm on the bachelor no but i had the thought of like if anybody ever says like what's the random talent that you have that and i was like okay i could i could wow the bachelorette with this um it is that i am really good at snapping my fingers oh i could out snap you. No. Okay. But how do we challenge each other? Well, I don't, I don't know.

Let me just, let me just, yeah, my, my hands are all snappy now. My, I'm all sweaty. I got those snappy hands. All of a sudden I get so nervous and my, my snap hands are off. I do like triplets a lot, which probably you do too. Cause you're Jake triplets. That makes sense. Oh, we'll come a lot, which probably you do too, because you're Jake Triplet. That makes sense. Oh, we'll come back to, well, I'll just say right now, a woman in Louisville who met me,

she's like, okay, I got to know, what's your real last name? I said, what's up? She said, I mean like Trey. It's a good stage name. Yeah. Well, she made a good point that I didn't even think of. She's like, well, just Trey is three and Triplet is three. So I just thought you made that up to fit with him.

And you got Johnny Triad next time. I was like, this never once crossed my mind. That's a funny coincidence, but it's my real last name. Yeah. Okay. Triplet snapping. So yeah, triplet's like. Oh, okay.

Okay. Okay. Oh, I'm wet. I got wet thumbs. Yeah, you do. I told you. Hold on. Hold on.

They're so sweaty. I got that. I got. So nervous. Oh, I got a, I got a! Hold on, hold on. They're so sweaty! I got, I got... So nervous! Oh, I got a, I got a tropical climate in my hands right now. Oh, it's a little slower there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh yeah. Okay, okay. I think you out snapped me. I was doing like kind of a beat. I was like I'm not here That's what you would do yeah, I guess I'll be like lady Hey and she'd be like oh my gosh everyone else just leave just get out it's over i think what will make it great is if it goes on for a while oh yeah

like way longer than about a quarter of the way through. Just keep going. Oh yeah. That's my answer. That's a great answer. Hattie was loving it. She was doing the ABCs and I was doing that along with her and she did a good job of staying on beat. So. Wow. That's funny. Okay. I don't know what my answer is. I'll just start talking. We'll see what comes out. Love it. I think I would also do something.

Maybe that's your answer. I would have no plan. I think I would also do something. Maybe that's your answer. I would have no plan. I think I would also do something musical. Maybe I plan to do something kind of self-deprecating. So like maybe, yeah, here, here it is. I step out of the limo with like a boom box and I'm like, yo, check this out. And then I like press play and there's nothing even in there. Like it just, I, I want it to not work so that it could be funny how poorly it goes for me. But then the way I like press play and there's nothing even in there. Okay. Like it just, I, I want it to not work so that it could be funny how poorly it goes for me. But then the way I like play it off and like still have confidence and like the swagger that I'm still like, I don't need that.

Or I don't know what I say. Sure. Like I play it off or I just dance to silence. Yes. I'm like, well, you get it. I think I could make it funny. Yeah. And then they'd be like, that was hilarious.

That guy like totally had a dance prepared and didn't get to do any of it. Right. That would be kind of funny. You're like, I't really have any no that was a pain the whole time Yeah, that was what I was gonna do. Yeah, I think I do something like that And then you're very memorable because you're the one guy I kind of felt bad for him But you know what? He's so confident himself that he's just goes for it and he was wearing that black jacket Oh that black jacket Wow that really made me zoom me in on his dimples i bet he spent 29.95 on that jacket and that seemed like a lot to him because he doesn't really buy clothes

love it that's what they would say but yeah i think if i had more time to think of it i could really wow her oh for sure you would yeah but actually i'm totally fine with that answer i love it i'm fine with mine perfect yeah i think i would i would bag my dough nice i'm gonna be practicing this week so one two three four i'm gonna practice on my own time no practice no i don't want you to watch right now dad dad dad a thousand a thousand before bed i'm not giving up on my dream i'm giving up on yours all right we got two more. Hey, what's cooking big daddy and Jake. This is Mr. Steve's checking in up from Minnesota again.

And I had a pretty thought provoking deep question for you guys to consider this week. And what I wanted to know was if you guys could defy the laws of nature and have two animals be bred together and make a hybrid animal. And this animal would be your pet and would give you complete obedience. What two animals would you choose to breed together? And also what would you name this animal? Like the name of the pet, not, well, actually, what would you name the name of the pet? Like Dave or something like that? And then also, what would you call the new species? Anyways, hope you guys have a great time recording this podcast. Thanks for all that you guys are doing to make us laugh during these uncertain times. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Let's start saying that more. Let's bring bye-bye back. Bye-bye. I say bye-bye when I hang up the phone a lot. bye bye let's start let's start saying that more let's bring bye bye back uh bye bye i say uh i say bye bye when i hang up the phone a lot do you say bye bye or do you say buh-bye bye-bye just sounds funnier to me yeah it is all right bye-bye all right thanks bye-bye uh that's funny yeah bye-bye yeah really enunciate it i've recently started saying bye now and i hate myself every time i say it bye now okay bye now i'm like oh gosh what have i done i say it kind of like southern funny all right bye

now bye roll tide bye i see it i'll see you later bye uh i had the thought while he was recording which two weeks in a row i'm just thinking about something else while he's sending his voice memo but you know how like chris brown is like pretty boy and uh t-pain is nappy boy and they have those like songs together where it's like, pretty boy, eh, and Nappy Boy, eh, you would be Snappy Boy.

You can complete the triplet of them. Yes. Snappy Boy. Eh. Yeah. So I thought of that. Love it. Love it.

Anyway, I haven't thought of the animal thing yet. Lion is definitely my first. Lion's involved. Gotta be. What part of him or her Lioness lion male lion. Are you sure though? Actually? I don't let you know about lions. I don't want the female Why they don't look as cool. Oh, but they haunt really? Oh, they hunted protect. Oh, but they haunt

They do though Oh You ever seen a coon dog on a shot down dovetail? It's like that. It's like that, but in Africa. Can you tell I've never hunted? Struggled through that sentence. Hey, but you're still manly.

I think you're still manly even though you don't hunt. Thank you, because I treat women well. Yes. Thanks. So lions. So what were you saying about the female lions? Oh, they hunt. Oh, that's it.

Just like, I think they're kind of like the dominant gender of lions. Really? But the male lions look awesome. They look cool. That's what I'm, I'm going more for looks. Okay. I'm a city boy. I'm not going to be hunting too often.

I have a half acre, so I could, I could hunt a little bit, I guess. But, and then my second thought is I want,, I'm, I'm, I want something big. Like my first reaction is like, Oh, an elephant or something. Yeah. Yeah. But then if it's like, if it's going to be domesticated in my house, I would love it. If it could like curl up next to me on the foot of my bed or something, you know, or, or when we're watching, uh, you know, last man on earth together.

Yeah. Um, and don't watch I am legend together. No. Oh my gosh. You start squeezing them, crying a little bit. So I like, so I originally thought like elephant, buffalo, you know, big buffalo guy, you know, state animal of Kansas. I'm going to go lion and wolf.

Lion and wolf. Those are strong animals. Because I wanted to have some dog-like obedience because I don't like cats. I don't want a cat. Okay. I've always told Catherine I'm not going to have a cat. What was that first animal you said? I said the dog version of a lion.

I'll make the wolf the primary. I'll make him have 51% of the DNA. Okay. So it's technically more of a dog than a cat okay um and so yeah he could curl up next to me but he can also fetch you know really well it would be fun to see your lion wolf fetch what would you throw him something big oh yeah something big like a like a black and decker drill sure that'd be sweet yeah I'd feel like a normal bone to him. Yeah. They'd be like, oh, this is nothing.

So lion mixed with wolf, and I would call it, I would call it Seabiscuit. Come here, Seabiscuit. That's an obvious choice. Yeah. Naming it Seabiscuit. Okay. Do you have a name for the species itself? Seabiscutarius. That also makes a lot of sense that's where it came from that's where the name came from it was the first first gen like well we got to name the first one right

okay um all right i already know what the name of my animal is going to be um do you reverse engineer it do you go from the name first or do you go from what like did you did you figure out the name and then you're like okay that means an animal's gonna be this or no okay okay no no just the name didn't know what your thought process was i think a monkey is definitely involved because they're so smart yeah it's like having almost a human with you it'd be nice to be like hey um insert name that i'm gonna say later can you like get the dishwasher started and he knows you like get the dishwasher started? And he knows.

He could get the dishwasher started. He could press some buttons. That'd be dope. Yeah. He can like set a reminder. Right. On my phone. Do you think he would care if your socks are inside out or not?

He would learn to not care. He would probably, yeah, he'd probably learn how to undo them. So I think definitely monkey, like the, i think the upper body of a monkey okay uh and the tail so we're gonna kind of get rid of the middle of him that's fine yeah i want to keep the tail because they use that sucker do they oh very well okay um that's their that's what they punch in the uh dishwasher settings with they can it's like's like a fifth arm, fifth extremity for them. Sure. They like dangle from stuff with their tail.

That's cool. Also, do you know kangaroos will like hop up on their tail and like kick you with their lower legs? No. That's how they fight. Kangaroos are awesome. They got strong tails. Yeah.

Is that? No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. I think it'd be tough for him to walk around if he had bottom kangaroo legs. Yeah, that'd be too bad. They couldn't swing too quickly. They'd be running for him to walk around if he had bottom bottom kangaroo legs yeah that'd be too bad swing too quickly they'd be running into too many things i think bottom half would be cheetah oh and we i would ride them places i like do you want to go to quick trip and the monkey would nod his head because he knows what quick trip is and i'd say let's ride you could you

ride a cheetah they're big enough oh crap i don't know i don't know i'd get a girthy one okay yeah you get you get one of those kind like steroid induced cheetahs kind of like uh yeah an uber black of cheetah monkeys absolutely yeah kind of a bigger wider wider base sure oh i don't i am worried though i don't know if they could support me they could they'll do all right because i think cheetahs are so fast because their bones are really light. Oh. Oh, I might have chosen wrong. I can't go back. Too late though. What are you going to call him? His name is Secretariat. Okay. He's a Secretarius. Okay.

That's his species. And yeah, I think it'd be really fun just to have him around. Yeah. Secretariat, can you pass me my hat? Yeah. And then he'd make that noise he always makes. You... That's not what I was thinking. Yeah. And then he'd make that noise he always makes.

That's not what I was thinking. But yeah, something similar to that. Kind of that, that parrot sound. Yeah. And it would be a babe magnet for sure. Oh, I didn't think about that. Oh, go to a dog park with a half monkey, half cheetah. Yeah. He's a secretarious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know everyone's getting them, but. Yeah. What are you? Virgo? Oh no. I was talking about my animal. No, it a secretarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know everyone's getting them, but... Yeah. What are you? Virgo? Oh, no, I was talking about my animal.

No, it's secretarious. That's something else. Good question. Hey, thanks, Mr. Steez. Always a pleasure, brother. Hey, Jacob. My name's Kaden. This is my second-to-last member from Utah.

And my question is what do y'all think about free agency in the NFL right now? What about the Andre Hopkins doing the trade days? I guys love the podcast. What do we think about the NFL free agency and the trades?

I think it's been a great distraction, honestly. It's nice when something happens. It's like, cool, there's news. There's trades. This is yeah um i saw that the chiefs of the 49ers which is funny because they're super bowl teams are the only teams that have not added a new player yet so far yeah as of today that's probably gonna change by the time this comes out but it is interesting it's like okay chiefs like don't like people are freaking out like why aren't the chiefs doing this this and this and it's like well we are the best team. We did win the Super Bowl, guys. It's not changed that much. We lost some guys

already. It's just our second show in Knoxville. Let's not throw out the Trump joke yet. Okay? Let's keep it in there. It'll be funny. Jeez. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, DeAndre Hopkins, I think there's got to be... Well, first of all, Bill O'Brien just seems

like a dingus. What's he doing? first of all, Bill O'Brien just seems like a dingus. Like what's he doing? First of all, whoever the owner is that said, hey, we should also make you our GM, has Bill O'Brien really done that much in his career to warrant all this trust and praise in him? I genuinely don't know. Like I feel like he was mediocre at Penn State and then all of a sudden he was an NFL coach and he's been pretty good as an NFL coach. But he does all these things where he's, he gave away Jadavion Clowney and DeAndre Hopkins

and got like nothing back for them. Yeah. So that seems like a bad idea to me. Did you see what that Michael Irvin interview, like the report was? About Jadavion Clowney, like, or about DeAndre Hopkins having too many girls around or something? Yeah. Well, he has multiple baby mamas yeah i did see that don't know if that's actually true but if that gets like corroborated like bill o'brien's out you can't say that to someone hey it makes me uncomfortable

that you have children with multiple women so i'd like to trade you yeah antonio cromarty had like 11 different kids with 11 different women and he did just fine. So, um, there's an idea. It should be like a, some sort of Brady bunch spinoff or something. That's crazy. Yeah, it's, it was crazy. I didn't realize that. Um, maybe it was even more than that. I don't know. But, uh, I think that's crazy. I think Tom Brady to the bucks is just unbelievable to me. One of the guys I was playing pickleball with today is a lifelong Patriots fan. Sure he is. What's his name? Braden? Sure he is. From St. Louis too, isn't he? Me and my partner, Lindy, were just mopping the floor with the picklers out there. So I said, Brady and Belichick out here. He's like, too soon, man. I was like, I didn't even think about that. I'm sorry. He's like, it's way too soon. Yeah,

Brady the Bucks is kind of exciting. I don't know. He's like, it's way too soon. Yeah. Brady to the Bucs is kind of exciting. I don't know. I know. It's kind of unbelievable. Out of the AFC. Totally. Yeah. And I think that the Bucs have a good amount of like weapons around them.

So he could be, he could do okay there. It's going to be such a big storyline all season. Can Belichick win without Brady? Can Brady win without Belichick? And I think that their standards. Can the Bucs throw for 11,000 yards? I think their standards are going to be different. Like the Patriots have to go far into the playoffs in order to like warrant Bill Belichick. I don't think the Bucs have to make the Superbowl in order for Tom Brady to be like, okay, Tom Brady was really good.

You know what I mean? Like if the Bucs just have even a playoff season, I think they're, they're warranted. Anyway, that's, that's, that's enough football. Thank you, Caden for asking. Go Chiefs. So those are our, those are our voice memos for this week. Awesome. Yeah. If you guys would like to send in voice memos, Brad and I are not going to have a lot going on in our personal lives to talk about

over the next couple months. So feel free to send those suckers in and we would love to answer your questions. I think we can perhaps end this episode with a new segment that we're going to start because of our lack of content on our lives called story time. Yeah. Tell us a story.

One of us will just tell you a story about anything. It doesn't have to relate to anything we've talked about. Um, story time, time to tell a story for all of the listeners. I want you to tell me a good story. I want you to tell me a good story. Tell me a story. That is the theme song for story time. We haven't really talked about it.

Do you want to tell one? I haven't thought about one. Do you want to tell one? I haven't thought about one. Do you have one on tap? On tap. I love when cream soda is on tap. That tastes so good. Just cream soda. Cream soda in general.

Root beer on tap. Let's see. Okay. I'll give you two options, Brad. Okay. Which story would you like me to tell russia or um tie tie tie tie okay do you know the story yet do you know what i'm saying okay the year was probably 2014 i'm working in youth ministry i live mean, technically it's a safe part of town,

but there's also like kind of a sketchy basketball court right across the street from us where the cops will get called there. Dennis Rodman hung out there one time. Yes. That was in the paper. Yeah. Check the papes. Check the papes. Check the papes, mister. Yeah. So it wasn't like anything I was necessarily fearful of, but you know, when there's a bunch of kids around, it's just something you're aware of that like, oh, we hear things. We hear that that's kind of a spot where things get, you know, delivered and dropped off and exchanged. Right. Uber Eats. That's a drop spot for them. high school boys, K-life kids, when a man urgently knocks at my door and I open it and he is a very

large African-American man, 6'5", 280. I thought he was Tom Bahaly for a split second. I was like, oh, what's he doing here? Shouldn't he have practice or something? And he says, hey, you know Tai Tai? And I go, oh.'m just like kind of in like protective mode of like, there's these kids here. Um, I feel like I should, I don't know. I I'm just, my mind's going crazy. I'm going a mile a minute right now. And so I'm like, Ty Ty, no, no, uh, sorry. Are you at the right house? And he's like, you don't know Ty Ty. And then I'm like getting scared. Like what this guy's going to do something to me. Let me go see if he's in the back. Let me go see if he's like, you don't know Ty Ty? And then I'm like getting scared. Like what? This guy's going to do something to me. Let me go see if he's in the back.

Let me go see if he's in the back. Let me, hey kids, why don't you go to the back and see if he's there and grab a phone. Yeah. Just in case. Let's call Ty Ty. And they thought you said grab a phone. And so they're like, those things don't work very well for weapons. Yeah. We're supposed to hide those.

So he just keeps telling me, you really don't know Ty Ty. And I'm like, dude, I'm sorry. I think a little bit of urine is running down my leg and Then from behind him It's like a movie scene or something this like kid walks out from behind his like figure and there's a little boy in a tuxedo Has an untied tie Turns out this man is just going door-to- saying, do you know how to tie a tie? You know how to tie a tie? Yeah.

Oh, you know tie a tie? Oh, I know how to tie a tie. Oh, okay. I said, you know what? I don't, but the guy next door does. And I sent him to your house. You did? Yeah.

Do you remember this? Kinda. This is when we were neighbors. I sent him to your house and I said the guy over there definitely does thank you i would have loved it if you didn't know that he was asking about tie a tie and you're like uh tie ties are here i think he might be over there that guy he's got a bunch of large tools in his garage and he knows tie tie don't take no for an answer okay trust me he knows he talks about tie tie all no for an answer. Okay. Trust me. He talks about Ty Ty all the time. Oh, I love it, dude. Go ask him about it. Ty Ty. You know Ty Ty? That's great. Oh yeah.

Me and Sal Ruiz and Joe Lemos. And they love that story. I'm just like, you know Ty Ty? Dude, I'm so sorry. I do not know Ty Ty. Yeah. I do remember that guy was big. He was a big dude. Large. And his son was going to something at, yeah, the school close to us. Kansas City Christian, I think. Yeah, it was wild. Just door to door asking if we know how to tie a tie. I think he said that he knew somebody that used to live at the K-Life house. So I don't know if he was going like truly door to door.

Maybe he had a few unsuccessful areas of like where the K-Life house is. But yeah, I think he said he knew somebody that used to be there or something. But no, that's hilarious. I did not know the first part of that story. Oh, really? Yeah. It was scary, dude. I was at the house with myself with two kids.

Yeah, you know how tie-tie? Like here, this is how I die-die. You're like gripping your fingers, like your fists. I'm going to go hook him in that jab cross. Right, right. One, two. That's too good. Anyway anyway first installment of story time uh brad you can uh have one next week just tell us a story about something that's happened in your life i love it dude love it let's end it with a review of the week and then a jingle

and then we will be done love it uh my review of the week is from jen grabby one two three four oh that's probably girl jen grabowski is it i'm guessing yeah she was in the live stream oh yeah Love it. My review of the week is from Jen Grabby1234. Oh, that's probably her girl, Jen Grabowski. Is it? I'm guessing. She was in the live stream. Oh, yeah. She got 12 out of 24 on some quiz. Maybe I don't want this one anymore.

I'm just kidding. Thanks for the live stream, by the way. That was fun for me. Everybody out there. That was fun. Yeah. Right now, you've been doing... Well, we're going to talk about it now.

Right now, I've been doing some... I'm sure you probably know. Yeah. I've been trying to do some creative things during quarantine time. So we went live on Instagram, did some trivia. We're also in the middle of a March madness bracket. Uh, that's on our Instagram. It's kind of fun. The bracket of things that make us mad. Yeah. Um, yes, we're trying to, yeah, just do something to, to break up the monotony a little bit. Uh, Jen grabby one, two, three, four says B R O I P. I've been listening to this podcast since day one

and let me tell you, it has been the best return on investment possible. Shout out to BROIPs. Yeah, BROIPs out there. Shout out to Digital Resource. Yeah, sponsor us, please. I'm working from home, WFH, for people out there that don't know.

Due to COVID-19 and these podcasts have kept my cat, Muffin, and I company as I'm listening to all of them again. If my cat could laugh, I'm sure he would. Keep bringing your best, Jake and Brad. I'll tell you one thing. Seabiscuit can laugh. So thank you.

One of his qualities. Thank you, Jen Grabby. That was very sweet. Thank you, Jen. There's like multiple reviews that just popped up now for the first time or like even once I'm scrolling down. I'm like, why didn't that show up for me earlier? Yeah, there's a really long one. And sometimes this website, like every time someone tries to like put up like an apostrophe,

then it says ampersand hashtag 39 semicolon. It's like, it's just so hard to read every time there's an apostrophe. So I struggle through that. One, I guess this is my review of the week. i don't know i i'm careful to give these things too much attention but uh says jake just want to let you know that i saw a pic of you on tour and you did indeed look super hot in your zoomies outfit and that's freaking true great work p.s i have hair oh so emma shooting her shot with the five star review. She fits the standards, baby. She has hair. So yeah, thanks. Whether you're being serious or not. Hypothetically, Jake,

how do you want me to respond to people that message me on Ellis Custom Creations Instagram asking about, is Jake single? Is Jake, like, I'm pretty cool. My friend's pretty cool. What do you want me to say to that? Just hypothetically. Hypothetically. It might happen once a week or so.

Hypothetically, I don't know. I guess hypothetically, you know, always be polite. Okay. Hypothetically polite. I think hypothetically, like, I don't know. Nice way. I don't think that's necessarily the, you know, I don't know i normally tell them hey jake's looking for somebody in kansas city which i am yeah i very much am i'm at the age long disty no no interesty uh-huh yeah can you tell that's the first time i've said that yes okay good uh hey we'll talk about it more off the air okay yeah hypothetically we'll talk about it more i get weird with those things uh but thank you for feeling those that's one of my things in my

set when i like open for trey like for the first couple minutes i talk about trey and talk about the dms i used to get uh when i first started working with trey because it seriously was people were like oh there's like a weak link in the chain we can get to train now from like the right scrawny white boy yeah it's probably only gets gets five instant messages a day or whatever. Yeah, and it was funny. That made me sound so old. DM, sorry. Sorry.

This guy probably only gets hit up like five times on his away messages on AIM. I am getting pinged. My AIM is getting overloaded. I'm going to have to set myself to offline. Anybody got a Slack? Anybody on Slack here? Golly. Sorry, guys. myself to offline anybody anybody got a slack anybody on slack here golly sorry guys that's

very nice of anyone out there who is seeking my love via brad's instagram or whatever you're seeking um but i guess you could if you live in kansas city you can just hit me up personally you don't need to bother brad or anyone else no no i no. I mean, it's not, whatever. It's not a bothersome thing. It's just like, I can't, I can't decide for you. Yeah. It's not really up to you. Oh, okay. You seem awesome. Of course you seem awesome. Your grammar is good. I don't really have a lot to go off of. I do notice like, yeah, yeah. Good job. You, you have good grammar. That's one of the ways to my heart for sure. It is fascinating, which I don't really want this to be a topic we talk about, but like it's kind of surprising the number of girls who will shoot their shot who also have a

private Instagram. It's like, I have nothing to go off of. This is crazy. You can't even zoom in on that. I'm not going to screenshot and zoom in. Too much work. Too much work. Pixelated.

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess if you're out there, girls or guys, if you're like trying to shoot your shot with someone, like have that baby public or else just like it's going to be way harder. No. Yeah. So I guess if you're out there, girls or guys, if you're like trying to shoot your shot with someone, like have that baby public or else just like, it's going to be way harder. That message better be funny. Good, good advice. Yeah. Cause it's just, yeah, that's, that's all I have to say. Love it, dude. Okay. Uh, let's end it with a little jingle jangle for episode 46. You said quarantine time earlier and it made me want to sing this song based off story time.

Quarantine. We're all here at home now and we're bored on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Quarantine. Maybe we'll listen to the Ghost Runners monday morning listen to us again another day if you want to you know we have episodes every monday but we come out with videos on our instagram account you know we just love when you listen and help us get some ads. Jake and Brad, go for it, baby. That just reminded me, I had an idea. Well, everyone, if you're still listening, let me know what you think of this idea.

If you're still listening to Brad's terrible jingle. Well, no. I guess that was more so like a thing from YouTube. I just never expected anyone to still be listening in the last like 10 seconds. But I guess podcasts are different just had an idea about 20 minutes before we started recording i was in the shower and i was thinking of just like how can i make the most of all this time i have this time i have in my home what's the thing i want to do and i was thinking like music obviously i can't sing but then i was thinking i was like it's a silly thing to gain confidence

from but that stupid coronavirus slam poem i, like that took no time at all. Just throwing a few punchlines that rhyme. People loved it. Like that's basically what rap is. But then I was thinking, I don't want to be a rapper. So here's my idea that, like I said, it's brand new. Okay. Slam rap.

It's like kind of a slam poem, but with like a hip hop beat in the background. And it's like funny. Okay. I've never heard of anyone doing that. Sure. In the shower, I was kind of like. You were doing your triplets. Yeah.

I was like hitting the wall and it sounded good in my head. Love it. So yeah, let me know what you think about slam rap. Let's make some slam. Let's make some slaps. This is slapperinos. Slaps with a Z. Slaps.com.

I'm getting it. Go daddy right now. That song slaps, they'll say. And it's going to be different than the other times where they say it. I can't. You'll hear the Z slaps.com i'm getting it go daddy right now that song slaps they'll say it's gonna be different than the other times where they say it i can't you'll hear the z yeah slaps is that that zong slaps okay we should shut up now thank you guys for listening if you did we'll see you on instagram and uh check it with our march madness bracket yeah baby love, Catherine, Hattie, and Grandma. Yeah, we love grandmas. We do. Last episode came at a bad time for me to, like, not bash Grandma.

Yeah. You get it. You listen to that. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Wait a minute, put a little love in it. Can't kick the habit. I got to have it. Know what they call a lot.

Baddie, baddie. Can't live without it. No shout about it. I'm a septomatic. Baddie, baddie. Can't kick the habit. I got to have it. Know what they call a lot. Outro Music