Ghostrunners - 47 - Time Traveler's Grandson

Episode Date: March 30, 2020

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It's been a lonely week, Brad, but I got a letter in the mail two days ago and I was like, sweet, this is gonna be awesome. I don't know who this is from. It looks kind of fun. Like it's not like a typed address, like it's handwritten. Calligraphy, calligraphied. Could be, yes. And I was like, could this, is this like the Old Spice check? Is this like, I'm like, it's definitely money. Just who is it from? Are we trending? Are we trending right now? I open it up and it's from, it's a handwritten, you know, good for them, from the municipal court of Kansas.

My court date has been changed to April 25th. Hey! We cordially invite you to pay your citation fee. Uh-oh. Ooh, I think this tight beat means that it's going down with some random thoughts in white. Welcome back, everyone, to the Ghostwriters Podcast. This is episode 47. Watch that cough, Brad. I know, dude. Everywhere I go, it's like, did you just cough? Well, you did. I know, I did.

Why did you, tell me right now why you coughed. Was it dry? No. It sounded wet. It was a wet, wet cough. A little cough. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. How you been? What's up? Uh, what's up is lots of things, but nothing at the same time, if that makes sense. Uh,

been busy at home, but busy in a way that is not very exciting. Just being a dad a lot lately. I've already informed you a little bit about this, so I'm not going to go too much into detail, but basically Catherine is on bed rest more or less for the next six weeks of her pregnancy, hopefully until she hits her due date, uh, for some different small complications. And so that just means that I'm doing a lot more around the house with Hattie. So it's like a blessing in disguise this past week. Uh, you know, obviously it's sad that I'm not as busy with work and we're not making as much money, but it's like, Hey, if I were busy with work, this would be a lot more stressful on Catherine

and myself because, you know, I wouldn't have as much time to spend with Hattie, but now I do. So that's what's up. What are you and how do you been doing? Oh man, everything and anything. The other day we played a really rousing game that I made up where I hid Raggedy Ann all around the house. And then she, uh, wanted to go like, I hit it, but she always wanted me to just tell her where it was. I was like, no, that's not the point. Yeah. Learn a lesson kid. Yeah. You have to go find it. That's the, that's the, that's the point of the game. So I'd be like, I hit it in the kitchen and she'd go in the kitchen and find it or whatever, you know, but I would hide it in funny places. And then she

would take it back and put it in jail. And then I would go get Raggedy Ann and put it somewhere else. And she thought it was very fun. So it sounds like she's learning a lot lots of yes learned a lot We're also teaching her some we're teaching her about states. She's really into States these days states are awesome Yeah, big states in the shower this morning. I was challenging myself if I could name all 50 states We can do this. How'd you how'd you mark? I got 49? Okay. I don't know what don't know which one I missed. I still don't know. Did you just like say, okay, number one, California. Like, did you go like that? I went like geographic, I went Northeast, like from right to left. I just tried to name them all. And then when I got to Hawaii, I was like, that was 49. Dang it. Oh, wow. So that's hard. Cause you don't know which you, where did

I go along the way? I don't know how you could probably tell you. I was going to say that's funny. Literally this morning, just challenging myself. So everyone's learning this time, you know, kind of fun. Right. Keep yourself sharp. Absolutely, man. Keep yourself sharp.

Yeah. If you guys know all 50 states, name them all in a five-star review this week. See if you can name all 50 states. But don't just name them all. Like say something nice about every single one of them. Max out that character limit. I don't know what it is, but try your best. People have left some long reviews, so I think it's got to be a pretty long character limit. Apple doesn't care.

No. Which that is apple.podcast.gov backslash ghostrunners podcast reviews. Right. Right. To leave that review. Yep. Thank you, guys. The funny thing is people are actually, like somebody's going to go with that exact address.

We've learned. Like eight people will. Don't. I think eight. Just figure it out. You guys can do it. It's on an app. Yeah. Probably what you're listening to right now. Oh yeah. But that's, what's up for me is just being, being a dad. Oh, and how'd he turn three? Holy crap. That's something we haven't talked about yet. Three years old. She turned three on Saturday. Yeah. I've never been to a little kid's birthday party, but I've heard they are fun. It was lit. It was lit. Let me tell you the only other kids that were invited. We don't do huge

parties or anything. Hattie keeps her circle small. She does. Like she had got a cell phone with a five friend plan. She didn't even, she didn't even know any. Didn't even have five friends. Too far. Too far. Too far. I'm okay. No, I'm not. The only two other kids that were invited were my niece and nephew

and they decided not to come obviously because of the virus yeah so we we officially had only 10 people there um thank goodness thank goodness yeah the cdc listens right they're a fan of the pod yeah they were on the wire tap i think that's why we um so literally there was no other kids there it was hattie and a bunch of adults that That's kind of, that's kind of cool. So it was just pretty much, we just hung out and talked the whole time. It was a princess party. So we had crowns that I put together the night before and almost lost it putting them together. They're like these cheap little paper crowns. I was putting them together and they were not working. And I almost threw one. I almost threw one. What kind of drill bit were you using? Right. If I were to use drill bit, I would have known how

to do it. Oh, it wasn't woodworking. No, no, no. No, it was just paper. It was paperworking. It was like origami style. And one person used the crown. Her name was Hattie. No one else even used one.

No Catherine? I think maybe Gunner put one on near the end just to appease me. Gunner's a maybe? Jeez. So anyway, it was a fun time. The party was great. The funny thing that happened before the party, though, is that Catherine was, like, very intent that we would have, we would be serving certain food.

Like, that's, like, at least the first and the second birthday party for kids is not about the kid at all. Just FYI. It's about the mom completely. Like, it's way more for Catherine and like how she's decorating than it is for the kid. Like I didn't remember last year's birthday. She was so dumb before that. No, so dumb. What a loser. Uh, three though. She definitely had some fun at, but Catherine was still very intent. Like we had these certain kinds of decorations. We had

these certain kinds of food. So she was very intent that I would go and find many quiches. Okay. Okay. Like M-A-N-Y? M-I-N-I? Many, many quiches. Oh, both. Many, many quiches. Yeah. Okay. The small versions, a lot of them, a small quiche.

And so they're usually in the freezer section. Usually Costco has them. Costco, I don't know if you've heard, most of the grocery stores are getting sold out of a lot of their products these days. And so. I have no idea why. Yeah. I don't know what's happening. I don't know. It's some kind of hoax. I think the president told me, um, but besides that, I'm not really sure what's going on. I, I, I mostly just subscribe on, you know, whatever. I don't know what a, what a good punchline there would be.

You know, the thing, you get the joke. Um, but, but she like was so intent. Catherine was so intent on these mini quiches. And obviously like she's pregnant and she's wonderful and she's stressed about this party already. And so I was like, okay, I can figure out the quiches. She's like, okay, they're not at this Walmart or this Walmart, but online it says they're at this other Walmart. And I was like, and so I was like, Catherine, that Walmart that you mentioned is the nastiest Walmart in Kansas city. Like there's Roland park. I literally said it is one. So maybe, okay. I actually said it was the second nastiest. I said, Roland park's number one. This is like one 16th of a step above Roland

park. And she's like, really? It's that bad. I was like, it's that bad. She's like, okay, but it says it's online. So will you go there and just check it out? And so I went there and I'm not kidding. You remember like in Toy Story, like Sid's yard or something like that. It's just like crusty old toys. There's a grill out there. Like, oh yeah, there's a grill, you know. Probably a weed eater.

I walked into this and there was like a rusty kid's bike, just like sitting on the sidewalk outside the Walmart. I walked in, they were like, i don't want to exaggerate 15 teenage girls with cornrows just sitting on those uh uh um handicapped little like stroller things that you use brad those were not teenagers that was a gang you saw maybe you saw a gang and then it was like the most symbolic thing ever it had like you're lucky they didn't jump you to initiate one of the girls seriously i'm really glad i didn't yeah um but the most symbolic thing was. It had like- You're lucky they didn't jump you to initiate one of the girls. Seriously, I'm really glad I didn't. Yeah. But the most symbolic thing was they had a stand

that had the hand sanitizer, like, you know how they have like a, those little stations. The hand sanitizer case was like opened up, like folded down and there was no hand sanitizer in there. And it just looked like it was like, we're giving up on hand sanitizer.

It had been ransacked. Yes. Ends up this Walmart had one half of an aisle, only one side of one aisle that had refrigerator slash freezer things. There's no way there were quiches in there. I doubt it. I said, Catherine, this place doesn't even know how to spell quiche. And she was like, okay, well, do you think you can try this one? Do you think you can try it? And I said, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think that the quiches are that big of a deal right now. And so she listened to me. God bless her soul. She, you know, I was very nice about it. I was like, honestly, I don't care what we have. I don't think it's that

big of a deal. Um, I want her to like up it. Okay. Forget the quiches. I want a poinsettia pinata. Find one of those. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. they have one. They have one down south. Yeah. No. So we actually, you'll appreciate this. We actually settled on pizza rolls. Oh. She's like, just go to Walmart and just get some pizza rolls. What flavor?

Pepperoni. Nope. You messed up. She said, specifically, she said, do not get the combination. What? Why did she say that? I don't know. They taste the best.

She doesn't like them. I don't know if I could even taste a difference. I'm sure I can. I would tell you. From the expert. Yes. Huh. That's too bad.

Did you go oven or microwave? We ovened. Thank goodness. It's her third birthday. Oh yeah. Catherine's a big oven person. She almost always ovens. And yeah, you have one.

So use it. Yeah. So they were a big hit. I think that the pizza rolls were much more popular than anything else at the birthday party besides Hattie. Also, pigs in a blanket we had. Pigs in a blanket. Do you think of breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack? Those are like, uh, they're not breakfast. They're like their lunch or dinner. Catherine's like, no, these are, these are specifically like a breakfast thing. No, they're like summer lunch. Cause I was like, should we get some ketchup out for the pigs in a blanket? And she's like,

like, she's like almost scoffed. No boys on yeah pigs in a blanket i was like yeah yeah like whatever you know i grew up having them at like a church like wednesday night dinner or something or something you know like it wasn't a weird thing to have late at night apparently down south it's a it's a breakfast thing huh so i called my grandpa today just to catch up and talk to him because i can't see him sure and uh was like, what are you up to? He's like, I'm just eating a hot dog. I was like, okay. I was like, what kind of dog?

Like, how is it being served? He's like, just with bread. I was like, oh, wow. Oh, yeah. This day and age taking you back to a simpler time. He's like, yeah, you know, it's kind of fun. Just crushed up a few tomatoes and put it on top. Yeah.

Put some tomato juice in there to catch up. It was funny talking to him. I was asking about, you know, just how everything's going, him and grandma, how they're doing. And I was telling him how thankful I am just for a lot of different things, how I'm still able to work and make money. And we're just saying, you know, I don't understand. I don't know anything about the economy. I don't know anything about health stuff. So I really can't have much of an opinion about it.

I'll just do whatever they tell me to do. But I was like, one thing I'm additionally thankful for is that I don't have any money tied up in the stock market. I think that would be even more stressful for a lot of people. And he was like, you know, your grandma and I had quite a bit of our money in the stock market. And then about two months ago, we just pulled it out. Really? No way. I was like, why'd you do that? And he's like, I don't really know. Just kind of felt like time to pull it out. I was like, you should go teach economics. I think he's holding out on me. I think he knows something. I think he's a time traveler. He's insider trading or something. He knows something and he doesn't want to tell

his grandson. I don't know. This guy just came up to me on the street and said, don't tell anybody this. He had a gun. I don't know what was going on. But he said, get all your money out of the stock. I'm going to threaten him. I'm going to come over there and visit. I'm going to give you a big old kiss. You don't tell me why you pulled that money. How do you know these things? It's not like funny. That's like a threat these days. Like you better tell me or I'll kiss you. I'll kiss you right now. I'm serious. I'll kiss you. Like that's what I was thinking. You know, like most city, big cities now they have the, you know, you can get a misdemeanor for not obeying the social distancing rules within six feet. So like if I run after someone, they legally have to run away from me. I think we should be

taking advantage of this. Let's go to someone at a park to start chasing them. What are you doing? Come on. I'm going to get you. You have to run from me. That's what cops can do now. Like if they're like trying to hit their quota late in the month, like you just sprint at people in the slow people. You just catch up to them. We're within six feet. You're done. $500. It's like a three second, the lane violation. You got like a six foot radius around cops. Exactly. Stay woke out there guys. Stay woke, stay fit. And don't go to parks where they could see you easily. Except even the parks are starting to get shut down. Which is crazy. Yeah. I got kicked off one yesterday. There's multiple that I've seen like caution tape around the swing sets. That's like sad. That's like, that's like apocalyptic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like

that's like you take a sepia picture of and you put it in like the history books. It seems like the start of like an NF music video. I don't know if you're familiar with those. I just know that he's mad all the time. He's so mad. He's a Christian guy that's mad. I remember like four years ago, I probably told you about it. I was like, I have this video, a serious idea of just like NF and normal life.

But he wasn't that popular then. I should have done it. I've just like very trivial things. I'm just like, we're actually out of mild sauce at Taco Bell. And then like, they don't got my sauce. They don't understand me. Like that's how he raps about everything. I like that, but never did it. Like most things, ideas are easy. I had so many ideas in the shower today. Not state-based, just other, just in general. Yeah. After, after I went through the 49 nifty states, I did my-up i got fresh i got sharp and then i went for the ideas but um anyway i feel exhausted we're about 12 minutes in really hot start yeah my voice hurts well tell me something that's been going on in your life okay you made some good videos

yeah video's been popping so shout out quarantine i'm gonna get get it popping dude i love that i know i say that a lot on this podcast oh i love that song. But like if I'm DJing like a road trip, I'll make sure get it popping by fat, fat Joe featuring Nelly makes it in. Yeah, dude. I was yesterday. It was a beautiful day. And that was Thursday. We're recording on a Friday. Thursday was a beautiful day here in Kansas city. And I just, I was driving somewhere. Oh, I had to go get the groceries for us or something. And I was listening to music with the windows down. And there's just something different about how music sounds when windows are down. This is my Branson experience.

I felt high on life. There's like, there's something, the acoustics, I don't know. It just feels better. It's on your arms. Yeah. Maybe it's the multiple senses at once. Yes. You're just getting, it's like, yes.

It heightens them. This is so much better. Like, yes. I was just like, this is great. I was listening to random, so random. I was listening to Modest Yahoo. You're just getting, it's like, yes, this is so much better. Like, yes. I was just like, this is great. I was listening to random, so random. I was listening to modest Yahoo.

You know who that is? Yeah. One day. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Um, it was just the most random,

like I saw somebody post all these random songs that they liked. And I was like, Oh, I like that song. I want to wet my beak on this action. Right. So I listened to him and, Oh,

it was great. It was just with the windows down. This is, this is how it's supposed to be listening.'s how the good lord intended it that's right yeah but uh trey and i still been making videos and at first we had this conversation of like should we make i don't know quarantine type videos or whatever because it's like it feels weird to profit off of this but at the same time it's like well trey's brand is essentially like observing and having good commentary on reality and like this

is our lifestyle reality so yeah and i don't think sorry for interrupting i don't think that people are ever personally or like directly viewing you as profiting from it like if you were like hey uh we made this t-shirt that said yes we have this really funny corona catchphrase order from us now we're gonna keep all the money. Like, okay, that's obviously, but like when you're making a video, it doesn't feel like as directly, like obviously,

you know that you're profiting. Cause that's how ads work and everything. Yeah. If you're providing good value, then it gets, it's different. It's seen different. Yeah.

Cause there was that creator. I know a YouTuber. I know who probably a week and a half ago, before things got that bad, he made a shirt that said, I do not have the Corona virus. I was like, that's funny.

Yeah. It's still, even back then though, I was like, I would still feel weird selling it. Sure. That's a funny idea. But I got hit up by this Christian t-shirt company yesterday. I don't know how they found me. Honestly, they might be listeners of the podcast. Who knows? They were a brand new account. So that was already weird. I'm like, Hey, we want to send you a t-shirt. Can we send you a free t-shirt for a shout out? And I was like, that that's a good deal for you guys. Uh, let me see who you guys are. And I was like, that's a good deal for you guys. Let me see who you guys are. And I clicked on their website and they're only selling like one design of sweatshirt

and t-shirt. And it's an acronym. So down the left side, it says COVID19. And it's like Christ overcomes viruses and infectious disease or something like that. And then it's 19 Joshua. I was like, you're kidding me. You were directly trying to profit off of not only Christians, but also this worldwide pandemic. It's such a bad look, such a terrible idea. I'm not going to do it. I thought about it. I didn't message him back, but I wanted to like say something of like, Hey, thank you for the offer. I'm not interested in a free t-shirt for a shout out. Right. Also, what are you doing? Sell something else. i thought you're gonna be like so i ordered five of them my grandpa really likes his uh he's with his hot dog um no

yeah that is weird like cringy cringy yeah i i've i but then again like that's just the time we live in i'm not saying that i'm directly doing what that guy's doing but i am thinking a little bit differently about business right now i'm like I think I should try to sell more cutting boards right now because people aren't going to necessarily buy big items right now. They don't have the time or whatever. And I'm also kind of marketing the cutting boards as like, Hey, you're staying at home more. Oh no, that's savvy. That's different. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying they're, they're apples to apples, but you're pivoting inventory. You already have, right. You're not creating a new product that's based on the virus. Like, yeah,

yeah. Fair. So anyway, that's crazy. Like they just started this company, Joshua one, Joshua one nine, baby. It, um, it doesn't matter how sick you are. It doesn't, even if your grandpa's dying, buy our shirt. It doesn't matter. COVID one nine, less than Joshua one nine. That's funny um anyway so uh what am i saying oh yeah trey and i have still been making videos uh it's been fun a lot of quarantine stuff yeah but we got a good a good idea today we haven't filmed it yet but feeling good about it i'll just say go ahead and watch the movie cast away familiarize yourself with the movie yeah and and get on facebook.com sometime in a week or two i need to watch it i haven't watched it before you should and just i think tom hanks needs it in this time

right how is he doing i don't know he hasn't he hasn't signed his tweets h-a-n-x lately i don't know and he will not respond to my text so i don't know how we i don't know i'm sure he's fine tom if you're listening we'll love to get a voice memo from you next week. Let us know how you're doing, buddy. Kyle, hey, and Matty. Let's do some quick quotes from Tom Hanks. I am. I'm not a smart man, but I know what coronavirus is. I'm the captain now. He doesn't say that.

I know, but it's from his movies. Tom Hanks has the Syrian pirate accent. Okay, so part of this week has also been take out food and just an adjustment of lifestyle for me. T-O-F.

W-F-H equals T-O-F. Wow. Acronyms on point. So obviously this is a changing time for everyone. Everyone's adjusting

but there's been a few funny things that I have noticed. This is a segment called That's Kinda Weird. Hey! What's that over there? I don't know. That's kind of weird. Thank you. First one, Chipotle takeout, which has become probably my best friend in the last two weeks. It's amazing. Something about just, it's a reason to get outside and they take precautions. You don't get near people. They have gloves. They hand it to you through a door,

not through a door. It's they open the door. You have a secret handshake for every single person is different. And they slide it through the window. It's pretty sweet. It's in Leavenworth. It's in the prison, but, uh, I love, I love getting it, getting out there. Okay. So I'm waiting at the translucent door that you can stick your arm through, uh, to get my meal. And a guy walks up to me and first of all, you know, Hey, he's it's fine i get it we were all there at one point so it's yanking on those doors just in case it's not really locked like maybe it's just kind of locked and i can unjam this and they're very locked and uh hold on i got nervous wait are we recording still all right my bad we were recording just you know you know you never know global pandemic anything's possible blame the rona blame it chipotle so this guy is yanking on those doors

and uh he's like what's going on i was like oh well you know everything that's happened they're only doing takeout only he's like really and uh i'm like yeah um he's like that's crazy i'm like well i feel like it's not that crazy everywhere else I've been going is doing the same thing. And that's kind of what I said. I mean, this dude's a stranger, but I was still kind of like, Is this the first time you've gone out? Yeah, I was like, he seems a little out of touch. Maybe I need to fill him in a little bit.

And so I was like, well, I mean, at least they're still open. I mean, pretty much everything is shut down. At least they're still serving food. And he's like, so how does this work? And I was like, so you have to download the app. And that's the only way you can order. You need to order off the app and then just choose takeout or delivery, and they just come here, and they'll bring it to you.

He's like, okay, cool, cool, cool. I get my food. I'm walking back to my car, and I've almost got in my car. I'm so glad I hadn't shut the door yet. It would have been a muffled sound. Probably wouldn't have heard. Woman comes out. She says, order for Jose.

This guy that I just got done talking to says, yep, that's mine. Thank you. Jose. Hey. That's kind of weird. Hey, Jose. What's that? That's not your order, dude.

That's kind of worse. It's either one, he just yanked someone's Chipotle order. 100%. He's like, this is convenient for me. Or two, he was just yanking my chain. I failed to mention, Jose looked almost exactly like my grandfather. He was in a top hat in this huge like cloak. And he was also, he was moving his hand through a door. It was crazy. Anything's possible for him.

Oh, Jose, can you go through a door? Jose, can you not take my Chipotle burrito? Jose, uh, did you order that or are you just stealing that? Jose, what now? Jose, what did you just say? So that was very strange. I was like, no, that's just kind of weird That's kind of weird Yeah Like the whole drive back to my house I just sat in silence

Being like What did happen there? He seemed so Dumbfounded That dude copped That dude absolutely stole He must have Absolutely

He could have been a Jose Because I know that's what everyone's thinking Like well did he look like a Jose? Uh huh Kind of Kind of Okay Like

Like he looked like Derek Jeter No no no not even that i would say looks like sammy sosa now sammy sosa post balco yeah yeah everyone go google what sammy sosa looks like now and it was pretty much like that like dark kind of like curly type hair okay but pretty white skin huh could have been at jose i did not ask him his name maybe maybe he didn't realize you weren't supposed to go in that they were just going to come out let's just let's give jose the benefit yeah he could have just poorly communicated how this worked to me but he seemed just flabbergasted okay from the get-go second thing uh two nights ago i decided about 8 45 i'm gonna go get some groceries was like, that's kind of weird.

That's the end of the story. I go to Walmart. They are closed. I go to Hy-Vee. They are- 8.45? Yes. I think they're closing at eight now. I know they're closing earlier.

Was it Sunday? Oh, no. I don't think so. I think it was a weekday. Really? That seems early. I thought so too. I thought at least nine.

Walmart and- Zoom is open till nine. So why wouldn't everybody else be? Walmart and Hy-Vee are closing down at eight. I thought at least nine. Walmart. Zoom is open until nine. So why wouldn't everybody else be? Walmart and Hy-Vee are closing down at eight. But then I saw on Google Maps that Price Chopper is open until nine. So I was like, sweet. Or wait, what time did I say it was?

Yeah, 845. Okay, great, great, great. We're still on par here. So I'm like, I can get there in time. So it's 855. So I'm like, I kind of feel bad. But this is different than making a restaurant serve me food. I'm like, I'm going to get in, get out. You know, Oreos, milk, pizza rolls, the essentials, the big three. Yeah. So I go,

and there's a guy who looks a lot like Sammy Sosa. He looked, no one will know what I'm talking. He looked a lot like, uh, this one baseball coach I had in high school called coach Brown, who wasn't on the payroll, but just would show up to practice. We all know Coach Brown. Everyone had a Coach Brown, just wore overalls to baseball practice. No, we didn't all have a Coach Brown. I take it back. Even at the time, he drew a lot of comparisons to Farmer Fran from Waterboy. Okay. Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime uh so kind of a farmer fran character okay is at the door and i'm thinking he's waiting on like a car to pick him up and he's just waiting there for this car to show up

and so i go to enter the doors the automatic sensors are not working and so then uh farmer fran gets my attention and he he's like saying something but it's it's very muffled so i can't hear him and so he's pointing at the sign so So I read the sign, and it says, due to the coronavirus, please do not buy paper or cleaning products in bulk. Okay. So I'm like, okay. Okay, I'm giving him the thumbs up. Okay, I won't. Yeah. Sounds good. Just milk and bread. And then he's shaking his head and points back at the sign. I'm like, that's fine. I just need food. So then he like, he's like

prying the doors open and like gets his, yeah, he pries the doors open from the inside. And he says, Hey, we're closed. And I was like, wait, he works here. Farmer, farmer, Fran, what do you do? Maybe it's his eggs that you're trying to buy. It could be his eggs. Could be his, his price chop. Yeah. I don't know. But I was like, oh, well, the sign says don't buy toilet paper in bulk. And he said, yeah, we close at eight. I'm like, what? Why? And it was two days in a row.

We ran out of toilet paper. We thought no one else needed anything else to survive. It's like Chipotle yesterday, price chopper today. Anytime I leave my house, something pretty strange happens. And I would say, that's kind of weird. And sorry, last thing, then I'll shut up. Then yesterday, go to Panera Drive-Thru. I say, I'll take the tortellini.

It's my go-to order. I get it every time. What? I didn't know you. I thought you always got Alfredo. You get tortellini. It's with Alfredo sauce. Oh, okay.

Kind of. So I'm still a best friend. Okay. Yeah, we're good. We're good. We're good. I say, I'll take the tortellini, please. And I'll take bread as my side and a large lemonade.

And can I actually have no Parmesan cheese on top? Because they just douse it. They do. It is weird cheese. They do. Way too much of weird cheese. So I say, no Parmesan cheese on top. And she says, oh, well, we're actually out of that.

And so I was like, oh, but that's great. I don't want it anyway. That's great. You know where this is going. Yeah. Go to the window. And she says, that'll be two 24. And I say, Oh, that's a really cheap tortellini. Wow. Economy's hitting you guys hard. Okay. And I was like, what's up? And she's like, just for the lemonade. And then we realized, Oh, you chose to tell me it was out at the wrong time. Yeah. So didn't't say, she failed to say anything before the it. Yep.

She didn't use an antecedent. Yeah. Went to the parm in my mind and it was actually on the tort. Oh man. So pretty much if I leave my house, I just, I got to keep my head on a swivel. Right. Because weird things are happening and it's a weird time in our earth. Yeah.

And there's no tortellini to be found. I went to Panera again today and they still don't have tortellini. None of them or the same one? Same one. Okay. I think it might be a limited menu thing. Oh, interesting. So you just go and just steal somebody else's Chipotle order instead.

So I booked it to 91st and Metcalf and said, Jose here. That's me. Anyway, okay, that's all I got. I'll shut up. Oh, wait. That was weird. Oh, here it is. And end of segment. Yeah shut up but oh wait that was weird oh there it is and end of segment yeah this has been that was kind of weird with jake right i got a question for you okay about

a week and a half ago you mentioned something to me and i didn't bring it up last episode because i wanted you to maybe oh shoot but here we are here we are you mentioned something to me and you said hey i'm thinking about getting a tick tock. Where are we at on that? Where are we at? I download the app, but I first step, I have not done anything on it. I, uh, browsed it one time, one, one night I browsed it for 30 minutes or so. Kind of weird. I didn't know what to even do on it. Like I'm lost. Catherine, come pick me up. No, I genuinely didn't get it. I was like, like I watched different videos of people singing with like somebody in the corner and they were singing along to it.

That was weird. Yes. Then I saw other videos where people were like making something for breakfast, which I understand. Like, it's like a random thing, like Instagram. It's not like everybody on TikTok does one thing, but still, I was just very confused. I tried to search a few things like woodworking related, which is probably not the right market for it. You would be shocked at the lack of woodworking creators on TikTok right now. But that was, no, that was honestly, you mocked

that, but that was like one of the reasons I was like, maybe I should get on here. So TikTok is blowing up. No. And I'd seen some pretty famous woodworkers on Instagram that are posting their TikToks to their Instagram stories. Oh, so you're like, they're out there. They're making them. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, these guys have, you know, 150,000 followers on Instagram. They know what they're doing social media wise. So maybe I should follow suit now rather than when it's later. Do you think you would call yourself a woodwalker if you start doing that? A tick, a tick worker? No. Woodwalker. You know the thing. That's just what we have to say from now on whenever somebody else just bombs if you don't end the sentence like that was terrible dude like

that's just our like very kind way of saying like that was not funny if you're new around here don't know what we're talking about just look at the joe biden clip on our instagram ghostwriters podcast there you go um whatever uh tick tock yeah i. I haven't, haven't gotten into it. Honestly, I'm not trying to like say blame other people, but I think you kind of discouraged me a bit one time when I told you about the tick tock thing, because you're like, Oh, don't do anything woodworking related on there. Oh, I did probably say that. And I think you're probably right for the record. I just think you're so funny. I think your comedy is much more valuable than the woodworking aspect. Yes. Yeah. I just, it's, it's weird. Like even like the five times maybe that I've made a story on our ghost

writers podcast, Instagram story, it just feels weird to me to have that, that camera in front of my face. It's just not normal to me. Not, not that like if somebody were in front of me, I could talk to him and be funny, but it's just different whenever it's like that. So I got to get over that fear i guess or that discomfort so i would guess and i'm just thinking of this right now so maybe i'll change my mind but i could see some woodworking tiktoks blow up but they would have to fall under the category of like sometimes those videos blow up that are like oddly satisfying right that's one of those like staining something you have to show from start to finish right staining right and that's it like a process of something yes yes i think that's kind of what i was thinking more or less okay but that's a lot of work even to do that but i don't know if i really like what what would happen if one blew

up like would i then be able to monetize that video i don't think you can really on one video can you that's the thing no no you can't make you can monetize a brand maybe tiktok's just a funnel right now right so so sorry I don't have more great. No, I'm just curious. I was like, I wonder if he's been quietly making TikToks and doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe. Okay. I'm going to make one TikTok this week.

At least one. If it goes well, you can follow more. Woodwalker1990 on TikTok. WoodworkerJoshua19. That's my username. Look it up. Oh, yeah, exactly. Joshua19.

I love when people put Bible references in their screen names and stuff, in their usernames. It's great. Yeah. Or as their personalized license plates. Oh, yeah. You see those a lot around here. Yeah. Except it's tough. If you, if your favorite verse is Ecclesiastes, then you go ECC. Now it sounds like all this custom creations.

Now people are just imagining, especially in Kansas city. Cause we're sweeping the city, baby. Are we trending? We see a lot of ECC license plates. People are putting my name on their license plates. That's awesome. I was talking about your license plate yesterday because yes, I think I have this weird thing. I know everyone in the room was making fun of me for how weird it was that I know people's license plates. I can't really help it. That is interesting. You know my numbers? Are you 740? I have, no, I don't know. I don't know. You might be. Okay. That also might be Trey. So Trey's is LDY.

So he's lady and you're meh. And I'm JPJ. I just like know different, if they spell anything or close to anything, I just like, I have it stored away in my mind. Yeah. That was like the most humbling part about my truck buying process. Sick new, nice truck. Oh yeah. I paid more for a material than I'd ever paid for one in my life. Than any cherry or walnut. Yeah. And then I get this license plate. It just says, meh. Meh.

And I'm like, okay, that's cool. I can, I can live with that. You know, it brought me down a notch. So I think it's hilarious when people post social media for sale, whatever their cars and they blur out the license plates. Thank you. What? What are you going to do with that? An entire Instagram caption about this or something. I don't get it. Like you could literally go on the street at any point right now and get a hundred license plate names and numbers.

It is more public domain than almost anything else in our lives. We drive around with this information, right? Like this, you could, you could even find the specific type of car color, everything with that license plate. And then yet people are like covering up with their thumbs and make, making these stupid looking pictures. Yeah. I don't get it.

I have no idea. I would like, if you've ever been personally victimized by your license plate being exposed to the internet, leave us a five-star review and tell us how it victimized you. Unless that person has like been in a hit and run. And then now they're trying to sell it really fast. Oh,

they're criminal. Yes. Maybe that's what we always should assume when all these random people are posting with like a scratch out thing of their license plate. So Trey had me blur out his address in one of his videos. Do you think he's a criminal? Yes. I think so.

Probably actually. Now that I think about it. Because why else would he want his address blurred out? Right. And Trey, that's not his real name. No. No. Like he's hiding some things.

I bet him and my grandpa are in cahoots. I bet so. With their apparel. A little coincidence that Trey launches a new web series. Right? Are we going to lockdown? I don't think so. Maybe he's a little bit, yeah.

He's got a little time traveler's wife in him. That's kind of weird. That's kind of weird. Yeah. I don't know, man. Oh, man. My grandpa's always acting like he doesn't totally get what I do. Now, who's Trey again?

Right, yeah. What's going on? Now, how does that work? And, you know, he's got this like little tiny like earpiece in his ear. Like he's just laughing the whole time. Good one. Good one, Cecil. I don't know your grandpa's name, but it's probably not Cecil.

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This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future. It's not Cecil. It's David. David. Yeah, strong name.

Yeah, that's my dad. It goes by Junior and my phone though. When I first got a cell phone, I was 15 years old. I was like, Grandpa, I want to put your number in. What's your name? And I think I was like, should I put Grandpa? What's your name? What's your name?

I was trying to remember the story and just kind of mindlessly talking. I was like, what should I put your name in my phone? Grandpa? And he's like, no, that makes me sound old. Call me Junior. And then since then. But he's not a junior? No, no, no.

Oh, really? Just Junior. I love that. And then I think he just gave himself that nickname right then and there. Yeah. Because he gets it the phone. sound old call me junior and then since then but he's not a junior no no no just junior i love and then i think he just gave himself that nickname right then and there because he gets at the phone today i said junior and that's just what i call him now that's probably like the the truest sign of like a old true friend of yours is if it only has one name yes all my high school friends one name yeah scott my friend scott best friend growing up scott sell no one else everybody else i have like their their name like their whole name even my wife katherine ellis like Scott, my friend, Scott, best friend, grown up Scott sell. No one else. Everybody else. I have

like their, their name, like their whole name, even my wife, Catherine Ellis. Like, but there's like a select few people that are in there that are just like, just random, either funny names that I don't really know why we put that in there or yeah. They're pre 2010. It was like a digital and analog era. Almost. It's like, we can't recategorize these files with the new computers. They have to stay as one namers like Madonna Elvis. Yeah. It's like, we can't recategorize these files with the new computers. They have to stay as one namers. Yeah. Like Madonna, Elvis.

Yeah. They're all the same. Prince. Scott. Scott. Yeah. Add it to the list. Right.

Game. Match. Scott. Okay. I went to a, I went grocery shopping yesterday and I just want to say right now that if you're not going to Aldi, go to Aldi. You're missing out. It is the greatest and cheapest place you can ever buy food. And they're stocked, baby.

And they got stuff. Yeah, they got plenty of stuff. Bring a quarter though. If you don't know about Aldi, bring a quarter. Bring a quarter for the shopping cart. Maybe bring some reusable shopping bags if you get a lot of food. Something to bag it up. But Catherine was like, hey, you know, I have it up now.

Like the way at Aldi. No discounts, but they got cheap food. Cheap food now. bag it up now like the way at Aldi no discounts but they got cheap food cheap food now bring your own quarter

for that shopping cart got to bag it up yourself um Aldi is great because it's so cheap

you go in you say Aldi's deals wow look at Aldi's good products Aldi's produce Aldi's vegetables go in you say all these deals wow look at all these good products all these produce all these

vegetables all these produce and vegetables all these broccoli just get more specific all these stems for broccoli um but katherine was like here's my list of things to get and if you know anything about like men shopping is that they always take the list and they always get like five more fun things. Yeah. You throw in a couple of mini quiches. Right. Exactly.

Oh, oh, many, many quiches. Many, many quiches. But I was like, you know what? I don't want to come, obviously the grocery store a ton of times because of this, you know, you know, there, there's a lot of sales right now. So I'm going to stock up right now. No, I'm just kidding because the virus. And so I was like, I'm going to stock up right now. No, I'm just kidding, because of the virus.

And so I was like, I'm going to stock up a little bit. So I got a little bit of extra stuff thinking, you know, it's going to be a little bit pricey now, but it's going to last us for a long time. The guy scans me, scans all the food, and says, okay, it'll be $53. I almost like, I was like, you probably didn't scan everything yet. Like, you're probably just giving me the halfway mark just to get me prepared for the rest. Why don't you go ahead and scan it again? Cause I don't believe you. I was like, you got, you got the ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got the honey ham. Yeah. Yeah. I got the honey ham. Okay. You got my two boxes of cereals, you know, like, yeah, I got it all, you know, $53 for Aldi baby. And it's, it's the same food. Unless you have like a very, very specific taste of like, Oh, I want cranberry, cran raspberry syrup for my milk.

They don't have name brand Oreos. No, they don't have like- Like Nabisco. If you want, you know, they probably have two different options for peanut butter. Crunchy, creamy. Maybe they have the healthier cream peanut butter, but they don't have like 18 options.

But that's part of what makes it great is it's very small. So you can just get in, get out. Yeah. You're good. Kind of like communist Russia in that way. It's, it's the communist Russia of a super grocery store. And that's what they say in their commercials.

That's they, they like to be known that way. Right. Ask anyone. They do. That's what they, that used to be their tagline. And then Trump said, well, no, sorry. No Trump jokes. No Trump jokes.

And then I said, made in China. Jeez. If we've got any Knox I said, made in China. Jeez. If we've got any Knoxville listeners, they won't, they won't laugh if you say Trump. So you got to be careful. Oh man. So. No, but yeah, I'm using Aldi bread right now and I love it more than like Wonder Bread or any other name brand bread.

Yeah. I went, I took Isaac to Aldi because Isaac kept going to Walmart, which is good, fine, whatever. But they closed at eight. I was like, dude, go to aldi just check it out he's like okay i really just want some english muffins we went to english or we went to english muffins and we went to all these um you get the thing um and he it was one dollar and 15 cents for six english muffins what a deal per unit he's like that that's not right like what's the real

like he's like he like had to reread their label and everything. He's like, $1.15? And I'm sure they're not the greatest English muffins in the world. Maybe they are. But he got them for $1.15. Are they going to give you salmonella? Maybe. Maybe. Just refrigerate them. Yes. Yeah, you'll be fine.

In this day and age, it could be worse. Okay, so suck it up. It's $1.15. At least get your fish oils in the salmonella. Salmon. Yes. You'll think of it later. Anyway, just go to Aldi. Unless you're like very, very, they even have organic stuff.

So the people out there that- Produce, vegetables. Yeah. That's why Catherine loves it is because I used to give her such a hard time because she would buy organic everything and it was so expensive. But now she's like, I can buy organic and it's still cheaper for a whole thing at Aldi than it would be to buy half of that somewhere else. Perfect. So just go, just go to all the support local. Aldi is in your city. I bet it's local to you. Yeah, it's great. So that's what, that's all I have to say about it. I just, I just left yesterday and I literally

texted Catherine. I was like, if people don't go to Aldi, they're insane. They're insane. Like they just don't know about it or they're insane because it saves you so much money. It's so wonderful. And there's like very, very little inconvenience to it. So just do it. I think a lot of people will start going to Aldi. And if they do, yeah, if they don't, they're going to be the spring breakers in Florida. They're just, you know, they're the idiots, right? They're the people that lick, you know, things at Walmart., right? They're the people that lick, you know, things at Walmart. Did you hear about that? The guy that licked things? What? Yeah. Guy got arrested the other day. Cause he was licking. He was going around Walmart,

videotaping himself, licking things for like a prank video. Yes. For TikTok. Oh, my competition. I can't compete with this guy. Oh, I've just been licking wood this whole time and not filming it. No. Just been doing it for me. Here's an idea. I got an idea. You know, we want to, we want to stop the spread of this virus. We do. I think I have a, it's brilliant. That's a pretty, that's a pretty common sentiment. Yes. So I think this is why this is going to work. And what gets stuff done in this country, especially more recently, more than ever, marches. I think we get a bunch of people together and we get a big march to stop the spread

of this airborne virus. Heck no, no more COVID-19, Joshua 1-9. That's just one of the many things we will be chanting. We'll see you next Friday. March to stop the spread. But you literally have to be six feet apart from each other. It looks like a Nazi Germany march. Yeah.

We will be holding a pole that keeps you six feet apart, but it also keeps your steps very uniform. It's very cool. Holding a pole with one hand and just sticking your one other hand just straight out in the air. Like towards where you're walking. Just to represent that we are going to flatten the curve. Flatten the curve.

But not completely flat. Like have it up towards the sun a little bit. Like we're going onward and upward. Right. Get it high, but not too high. Kind of high and low. High and low. High and low. High and low. Come on. Oh, goodness. I can't wait for those marches. Gosh, that's what they mean when they say march madness i guess i think anyone who's not marching we like have them identify themselves like we put a little patch let's march shame them march shame them and put a little patch on their their clothing just so we know they don't march with us and maybe maybe put them in their own i don't know if we should keep going on this joke

i think on this joke. I think... Okay, well, you get the joke. You... You know other things we could probably say. You are not seeing all these jokes right now, but we have more.

Oh, goodness. That's too good. That's too good. Higher. Higher. Higher. Higher. So Aldi's great.

You guys got... Yeah, definitely go to Aldi's great. You guys got it. Yeah, definitely go to Aldi. Okay, goodness. All right. What should we do? We got a lot of questions from Instagram. I don't even know if we need to hit those this episode because we also got a lot of voice memos.

Right. Let's do voice memos first and then see what happens. See what happens. Oh, I'm sweaty. Oh, that was funny. You got that look where you've been crying, laughing. Oh, I'm sweaty. Oh, that was funny. You got that look where you've been crying laughing. Yeah, I love it. Okay.

You still laughing over there. Oh, that's funny. Okay, I don't remember where we stopped last week. Jake and Brad, yee! So glad to send you guys a voice memo. I think the requirement for the last memo was you had to have played baseball, and I haven't played professionally or anything, obviously, but I play with my cousins, I think the requirement for the last memo was you had to have played baseball.

And I haven't played professionally or anything, obviously, but I played with my cousins a few years back. So maybe that counts. Let's see, a question for you guys. By the way, this is Gabe Samara, the guy who you read the comment of. That made my day, by the way, when you read it. Super awesome. I'm from San Cruz, California. And my question is if you could resurrect any professional sport to be

played again during this time where nothing's being played, what sport would that be? So, yeah. First of all, I think it's hilarious. He's like, I've never really played baseball.

I play with my cousins a few times. Like I love, if that's like the requirement for things like, uh, I haven't surfed, but I've, I've been in the ocean and I've used a skateboard. So kinda. Been off the diving board a few times too. Got super wet. Yeah.

In order to be president, you have to be born in America. Uh, I'm not born in America, but, uh, went there with my cousin a few times. Knoxville, Tennessee. Great place. Didn't really love me because I wasn't from there, but, uh, no, I'm just kidding. Um, so what was the question? Oh, if we could revive a sport, I mean, March Madness has to be the answer. Unless the only reason that I would not say March Madness is if we could change the rules of like society where you could play the NFL

every single day. Like if, if, if, if it was Sunday, every single day, like NFL Sunday, great, let's do that. But if not March Madness is the obvious answer. I think he said resurrect a sport that's not currently being played. Okay. So yeah, I think you gotta go March Madness. Gotta be. Yeah. Miss it. It's been fun seeing like sports center, whoever posts old highlights of it, but it's not the same. The other night, actually, I, I, I don't know why I think I was on YouTube looking up something for Hattie. And then one of the suggested videos, yeah, recommended videos, was the KU Syracuse National Championship of 2003. Oh.

And there was the entire thing, and I watched it. And it was glorious. It was like – That's like Kirk Heingrich, Nick Collison days, right? Yes, dude. Aaron Miles. Yes, Aaron Miles. I was a KU fan back then.

Yeah, they should have won that. I don't know if they should have won. But anyway, not should have won that. I don't know if they should have won, but anyway, not, not, not about that right now, but just watching that, I was like,

gosh, I really do realize that March Madness is so fun and I miss it a lot right now. I also think that basketball, we don't have to get into this too much, but basketball is different now than even in 2003. Like KU play a different brand of basketball than what is out there right now.

At least KU's brand. So. I think I would choose march madness yeah just to have back if i could choose something specific maybe like like anything to be watching right now maybe like the i don't know if it's 2016 or 2017 warriors when steph curry just did something every night that was so ridiculous like i would love to go back and watch that like it's the first time yes that was one of the craziest things i've ever seen in sports specifically i remember them playing the thunder one time and they were down by like

20 points or something. He went off and then we hit the game winner from basically half court. Right. Like just. Oh my gosh. And it was like, it was like the first time anybody had really started doing, or not the first time, but you know, like it was like, it became a normal thing for people to start shooting that far out.

Yeah. Now Dame Lillard and people are pulling up from there. And that was something in 2003, this national championship, Jerry McNamara. Do you remember him? Oh yeah. Little white guy from Syracuse. Yeah. Five or six threes in the first half. One of them was like maybe two steps behind the three point line and they were freaking out about it. They're like, Oh my gosh, he shot that from like, I can't believe that no one ever thought

he was going to even shoot that. And it was like, these days people shoot so much farther than that. Trey Young was shooting at Oklahoma so far anyway Anyway, so I like that. The Warriors answer. That season. Yeah, it was just every night you'd get on like SportsCenter, get on Twitter. It's like, what did he do? He made Chris Paul fall down. Or he did that move where he like crossed up three clippers at the same time and shot it with his back to the goal, you know. And Gabe is from California.

So he was probably watching it. I remember having a hard time like sometimes being like, this is so late, but I want to stay up and watch the Warriors. But they're not on till 930. 930. Yeah. And we're stay up and watch the warriors but they're not on till 9 30 at 9 30 yeah and we're central no eastern they're not starting till 10 30 over there so anyway great great question thanks gabe yeah it was a good question next one we got here is from nick right i don't know if it's that nick oh the chiefs nfl network reporter uh yeah fox sports hello and welcome to the Ghost Runners Podcast. Featuring Jake, the Trey Kennedy sidekick triplet. And Brad, EllisCustomCreations.com. EllisCustomCreations on Instagram and Facebook.com.

Coming to you every Monday morning, depending on your time zone. Check local listings. Recorded from a dark, dingy basement somewhere in northeast Kansas. Where the rent is probably overdue because Jake is just an influencer and the fridge is full of ice cold chipotle leftovers. They are the ghost runners where no one is on second. Hey guys, Nick from Kansas. That only leaves me a few seconds, so I'll make it fast. Love you, love your show. I also hate it when people say chipotle. Everybody should know chipotle is

Spanglish for overpriced crappy burrito. My question for both of you, Brad, I know you play the guitar. I've been known to get down some honky tonks. Do you play both acoustic and electric? And do you play any other instruments? Jake? Jake, we can make one

up for you. Have you ever played an instrument? Okay. Wow, what a rollercoaster that was great that dude has to be a voice actor if not he should be he's probably not shopping at Aldi right he's just wasted his time he doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing in life wow yeah you should definitely use your voice for something that was wonderful Nick Wright thank you

that was not wrong that was right yeah whenever he said Chipotle I was like dude it's Chipotle dude but then he said crappy burritos overpriced over i will i will go to my grave and saying that chipotle is the greatest or greatest uh value that you can get in in fast food we've talked about that yeah your dollars for pounds yes dude what what is if that's overpriced and what is aptly priced for him yeah i wonder what like moe's like burritos how much

that cost or like i don't really know i know that qdoba is more expensive yes because they add in guacamole upcharge right um no there's no way even if moe's is a dollar less i guarantee you that's i don't guarantee but i i personally believe that is not as good okay guitars guitars i do play a little electric at times for fun, but if I'm playing at church, I'm always on acoustic. Uh, and when I do play electric,

I don't use pedals very, like, I'm not like a quote unquote electric guitar player. Like I don't know how to use pedals and effects super well. Um, but I do love playing electric cause you can just sound really cool. But yes, the main guitar I use is an acoustic by a custom company called

Cole Clark, um, out of Melbourne, Australia. Oh, so, um, yep. That's, that's my answer. And what did he ask me? He asked you, have you ever played any instruments? Oh, that's right. Growing up? No, not at all. Not even a little bit. In college, I went through a guitar phase for a little bit where I taught myself like the chords. Is that like a rite of passage? Like if you live out of your house in college i went through a guitar phase for a little bit where i taught myself like the chords is that like a rite of passage like i think you have to live out of your house in college like you now have to learn how to play g c and d yeah exactly yeah i saw a tweet today that was like uh guys moving to colorado is the equivalent of girls getting bangs i saw that too and that's the same as like picking up guitar in college so yeah i went through a guitar phase so i still know some

of the chords uh played enough to get calluses and then right when it started getting fun i was like yeah oh man that's yeah that's the good part yeah what it was fun for a couple weeks that's like the acquired taste of beer it's like no it's an acquired taste just get past it the hops of my fingers and then went through a piano stage where i learned the chords there i did too in college just you yep in college because those piano rooms in the music building were awesome. Just go in there by yourself and jam. Yeah. Jam, as in, you know, watch a six-minute YouTube tutorial and, like, you know, struggle through it for the next hour. Just play a little Tchaikovsky, you know, and just kind of relax and get away from the world a little bit.

Just, you know, think about life. Get away from it all. Yeah. But basically, no. I think I got down on the harmonica when I was, like, three or four. There's, like, home videos of me, like, really getting after it. Yeah. But not really that's good um well thanks for the voice memo Nick Nicholas

go Kansas hi my name is Lisa I'm from Minnesota and I'm new to the podcast I've been listening to some older episodes and I just listened to the one where Jake finds out that meat is making him sick. You then mentioned, at least you're not lactose intolerant. And I'm wondering, Jake, if a girl was lactose intolerant, would that be a deal breaker for you? Or Brad, if you found out Catherine was lactose intolerant, do you then get a divorce lawyer? Please no. I did not choose a dairy- life the dairy free life chose me man if i if i couldn't eat it was if i were lactose intolerant i would kill myself that's what michael scott says you remember that does he really on uh like one of the yeah birthday party i think the episode with meredith huh meredith's lactose intolerant

he's like we need to get an ice cream cake meredith mint chocolate chip you remember that and then later on he's like talking. He's like, have you had some of the cake, Meredith? No, I haven't had any of this cake. Oh, man. Or I haven't had any of this cake. I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, man.

If I were lactose intolerant, I would just kill myself. I don't really remember that. Because when I think of that, I think of Andy's quote of like, if my grandma ever dies, I'm going to kill myself. I'm sorry that the lactose life chose you, Lisa. Yeah, it's too bad. And although your claims sound serious, I think you're onto something. Yeah.

It's something that Brad and I would consider. Yeah. I would consider going celibate. Yes. And I would definitely just, because if you can't share a milkshake with somebody, then what's the point of being married? Yes. That's my love language.

And so it would just be me and Jake just sharing milkshhakes all day and that's not that's not that's not what you want no you know you're getting your paper straws stuck together and that's no fun uh thanks for the voice vovo anything else you want to say about milk i love milk we love it but it's not going to affect the relationships around me i I don't think. Lactose or meat? You got to give up one. Oh, meat for sure. Really? Yeah. Or red meat or all meat? Lactose free or vegetarian? Oh, now that's a tough one. That is a tough one. I like them both a lot. I would say lactose free, I think. No cheese? No. Oh, forgot about cheese. I was thinking ice cream, milk, which that alone would make it. Then again, we can have Lisa weigh in on this potentially, but I've heard there's like a little like pill, depending on the severity of your lactose intolerance, lactaid.

There's always a pill. You pop a lactaid, like right before you're about to down some ice cream. I think it like minimizes the symptoms. That's how our friend Peter is lactose intolerant. You wouldn't know it though. And he's eating ice cream. We're like, Hey dude, aren't you? It's kind of like Kevin on the office with the poison mushroom or muffins.

Like Kevin, don't you know? He's like, no, I know. I know. Peter's like, yeah, I got, I am. I love pizza though. That's great. Thank you, Lisa. Yeah. I choose lactose intolerant and just have lactate handy. Have like a fanny pack full of them. Right. Just like, yeah. Jordan Belfort with Quaaludes. Okay. Our next voice memo was from our girl Margie. She left us actually a double feature of how big an acre is. Brad and I have actually gotten a lot of feedback from people telling us how big an acre is this week. So thank you all. So I'm just going to summarize that.

It's kind of big, but Margie did ask us a fun question as well, which was if you could own an acre of land anywhere, where would it be? Where do you think Brad? First thought is like some big city, like New York city, like right now, right now I'm a little bit nervous to say that, uh, because my acre would be infested potentially, but that's my, I think that's my answer is some kind of infested, infest acre. Um, but I think something like that. Yeah.

Where I could be like very near all these really fun things. I just love the city. So I think something like that. Yeah, where I could be like very near all these really fun things. I just love the city. So I'm going to keep it simple. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And yeah, there's no way

I can go anywhere but up. I think I would choose Hawaii. Okay. Like no bad plot of land there. That's true. You know, like if I don't get to decide, that's still okay.

You always go second and then you always make me wish I said your answer. Every time we do the anchor or the acre challenge this always happens uh no but margie thank you for the question thank you for the uh acre explanation yeah explanation hey jake and brad this is shay your fan of the week no um i was just calling because i was at the Knoxville show and can confirm Jake's story about his made in China joke. It did not go over well. I know.

For the record, I thought it was hilarious and I was starting to chuckle and then realized that it was completely silent around me. So I didn't want to draw attention to myself by laughing. But yeah, that room was not ready for that joke. Um, can confirm again, thought it was funny. Sorry. Um, but it was a really great meeting you, Jake Brad. I wish you could have been there. Big fan of the show. Don't really have a question this week, but just needed to confirm that Jake's story is true.

Thanks guys. Bye. I really wanted her to be like, just needed to confirm that Jake was not funny in that joke. It was even worse than he described. Every joke he said was like that. It was like that for 15 minutes. Is it like that in the office where, uh, Pam was like, I was laughing and I saw you, you were not laughing. Yeah Pam was like, I was laughing and. I saw you. You were not laughing. Yeah. Or no, I think she was talking to Jim.

Like, I thought it was funny. I was laughing. He goes out loud. She's like, not really. No one else was laughing. Something like that. That was my Shay. Yeah.

Shay in the audience. I don't, part of me doesn't believe you Shay, that you were chuckling and then you stopped. Yeah. Were you? I don't know. That's just like softening the blow. Like, yeah, I really thought it was funny. I was about to laugh.

It was so funny. Your joke is the prettiest joke. Of all the jokes. Of all the jokes. Oh, man. Thank you for the voice memo, Shay. You're very kind. I just want to tell you that Jake is telling the truth. Like, what if she just completely kept digging the knife in? He's telling the truth. He really didn she just like, just completely like just kept digging the knife in.

He's telling the truth. He really didn't do a good job on that joke. People really were starting to murmur after that. I talked to people in the lobby. I kind of did a straw poll and said, do you want your money back? And almost everyone said yes, because of Jake's joke.

I got in the line to meet Jake and everyone else was like, oh, this is the line for Jake. Oh, nevermind. I thought this was a line for the bathroom. I thought it was hand sanitizer. Okay. He doesn't even have his own pen. What? Okay. I'm out of here. Forget this guy. Hey, this is Sarah voice memoing in from Harriman, Utah. I got really excited in last week's episode when you guys were talking about

the emails you're getting about coronavirus. and Jake mentioned he had one from Cafe Rio because I was sitting at my table eating my lunch from Cafe Rio and that just made my whole day. And since y'all don't know, Cafe Rio is a Mexican restaurant we have out west and it is freaking good. I also just wanted to throw back to an episode a few weeks ago when someone asked if you like the potato butt fries from Chick-fil-A and you guys said no. It was so sad because those are some of my favorite fries. I love them. So if you're ever in the Salt Lake area and need someone to take those off your hands, feel free to hit me up. Last, I just had a quick question. I want to know what are some of the good things you guys have seen coming out of all this coronavirus stuff. I know there's some scary things going on, but I know that there have also been some unexpected blessings.

So I just want to see what you guys have noticed. Thanks, guys. Wow, that was jam-packed. That's crazy. What a coinkydink that was. What a coinkydink. At Cafe Rio, which I still don't even know what it is. It's an overpriced burrito restaurant.

You hear that, Nick Wright? I feel like I sounded like Denzel right there yeah like right right right we're gonna win state we're gonna win right oh man oh that's great and yeah how did this restaurant get my email address do you think you went there i guess it's for the limo maybe i don't know i do love salt lake city though i've been there a couple times uh never the chick-fil-a never the potato butt there but but I love Salt Lake. That whole area is nice. Okay.

She asked us to like connect with her if we're ever in Salt Lake City and we want somebody to eat those fries. If we actually did that, we'd be the weirdest people in the world, right? Truly. Hey, Sarah. Hey. No, no. We don't even like contact her beforehand.

We just find out where she lives. Just come with this box of like very cold fries. Potato butts. And just say, we're here. Just like you asked. Yeah. Like people talk a big game, but whenever you come, whenever we come, Sarah, you're going to be like, whoa, what are these two random men doing at my doorstep with these

butt potato fries? Which, by the way, I don't think I said I didn't like them. Maybe I did. I don't prefer them. Just, yeah. I'll eat them. Prefer the normal fries. Yeah.

Okay. Positive things. Okay. You've got to be a dad finally. No. You've kind of been, you know, out of Hattie's life. Honestly, though, like, yeah, that's a joke. That's kind of my answer.

My answer is that I get all these opportunities to just, like, that's, that's a joke, but that's kind of my answer. My answer is that I get all this opportunity to just like have very intentional time with my family. And I think that like the first, like, I don't know, I don't want to make myself sound bad or whatever, but like in normal life, I think sometimes I can get easily frustrated or like always have like, like my personality is not one that if I have something else in the back of my head that I can just like put that away and just be in the moment. Like a lot of times I'm like, like if we're late to something, my personality strengths go down. Like, like I am much more like, Hey, we gotta go. We gotta go. We gotta do this. Come on. Like,

like I'm much more like task oriented. And so obviously there's no being late anywhere anymore. You're always on time. We have, we have plenty of quarantine. Um, and it's just given us this opportunity. Like, I really feel like I've like, just had more fun experiences with my family. And also obviously we're going to have another kid soon. So it's just like precious time with only the three of us that we've just really been able to soak up. And it's been able to give me the opportunity to just turn off some of those other things. I've kind of accepted the climate that we're in right now economically and just be like, we can't do much to stop this. We can't, we can't open up businesses that are, you know, people, we can't just tell people to buy stuff from us. And so rather than worrying a ton about

that, I'm just going to just rely on our emergency fund and just be like, Hey, let's just spend time with our family. And so I feel like it's strengthened our family. I feel like Catherine and I have gotten a lot better quality time together and like communicated better. And I think honestly, it's just been very good. The first few days were awful, like not awful, awful, but there were a few times where both of us were like, I'm really sorry. I don't know why I'm getting mad at you right now like we've had we had that conversation multiple

times where i'm like sorry i'm frustrated i don't know why i'm frustrated i just yeah i want to do something i want to go out and do something yeah but i'm kind of past that point of like i'm super bored at home i'm super like sad to be home all the time and now i'm like i'm happy i get to hang out this is life now make the most of it i get to go hide Raggedy Ann, you know, for an hour. She's somewhere in the kitchen. Yeah. Where is she? On top of the refrigerator. You got it. You're never going to see it. That was an expert level. Right. But honestly, and like Hattie, obviously as most kids do, like she prefers Catherine almost all the time. And I feel like that's kind of, I feel like it's more 50, 50 now, which is great for her. Weaning her off her mother. Smart.

Right. Exactly. Seriously though, because we're about to have another baby that's going to rely on Catherine almost completely. Yeah. You know? And so anyway, it's just been great family time for us. So that's my good things. It's just personal things.

I hope that other families are saying the same thing rather than, because I think it could go one of two ways. It could either go, hey, families are being strengthened through this or families are really struggling through this because they're getting very tired of themselves. Like that living room is the octagon every night. Exactly. Exactly. So I hope that other people are having the same experiences, but I don't know.

Do you have one tip you could give a family of a young one to strengthen their family at this time? Oh man. One tip. You want me to come back to you? Yes. Come back. Okay. Uh, I'm not going to listen to you. I'm just going to think I'm actually going to step out of the room. I'm going to call Catherine real quick. Anyway, my answer would probably be, um, if you give me one tip for during this time, just during this quarantine,

we're calling it quarantine time, the quarantine. I you're sleeping i've enjoyed over it just you're fine you're not that pregnant yet okay fine all right go ahead buddy so i couldn't even i couldn't even like do the bit i was haddy haddy hey what i say about nap time stay in bed that was funny uh your answer is really really good so good job there i don't have any you go first yeah you could have really wowed me wowed everyone else too i don't have that good of an answer at all and this is maybe gonna sound a little like cheesy but this is something i said off the podcast like a week and a half ago so i still share that same sentiment and i think it's largely because as i've said a lot of my life turns out the way i live is pretty close to a quarantine lifestyle anyway so not a lot has changed.

I'm still able to work. I still shoot with Trey. I still mainly eat Chipotle and Chick-fil-A, which are open. And yeah, not that much has changed. I'm still able to go outside. Okay. Anyway, I think one of the positives that I was realizing and taking away a while back was just like, I think this is probably really good for the earth in this time. Just like, I haven't really seen much or heard much about it, but I'm just assuming

this has got to be good news for emissions and fossil fuels and other stuff. I don't really understand, but I know we're not helping our case in this time period probably is. I saw some graphic one time that was like, you can see China from space where it's usually smog or something like that. Right. Oh yeah. And I think you were telling me you're like kids in China can see the sky now or something. And I was like, Oh, I haven't heard that.

Oh, someone told me that. That's interesting. What did they see before? Yeah. What were they looking at? Man, I haven't seen it.

It's always just like, here's, I always just, people were like, Oh, well you heard the Venice canals. I'm like, I didn't know that either.

Oh yeah. Like it looks like real, like you can see through the water. Yeah. So stuff is changing, I guess. I don't know where everyone's seeing this and I'm the one interested in and i can't find it but sure uh i think that's a positive for me of just like uh it's cool it'll be cool to see i think for the

most part there'll be a lot of ramifications that are pretty negative from a global gdp whatever economy livelihood standpoint but there will be some positives and i'm trying to think of them and consider them and be appreciative of them now. Right. Right. All right. What's your tip? What'd Catherine say? Um, yeah, Catherine was like, Hey, sorry, I'm still trying to nap. So I'm just going to put on a show for Hattie. Uh, that's my tip. Okay. Distract the child. Be okay. Bend in the rules a little bit. I don't know, especially for like families of small kids. Like we have, like we have a three-year-old daughter and we try to limit screen time screen times like the devil my screen time's been down this week really how's

that even possible that is interesting how did i do that you've been outside a lot i guess so um but basically we're like you know we're we're usually limit our movies to like hey friday night movie night we always do a big thing baby one um no no deleted scenes no bloopers right although the bloopers for bambi, we're not watching the commentary. Hattie, I don't care what you say. You don't really care what thumpers saying. You just want a few more screen time minutes.

Um, but, uh, seriously, it doesn't matter. We should do. That's a funny video, a DVD commentary.

I'm just like something that would definitely not have a commentary. Right. That's funny. Um, no, but like, that's the answer have a commentary. Right. That's funny. No, but like, that's the answer is like, be a little more loose on your rules. Obviously to an extent, like, you know, with, with movies and stuff, we've watched more episodes of TV shows. Cause it's just like, Hey, you can try to get creative and Pinterest-y every single day, but eventually that's going to wear and exhaust you out as a parent.

Just be okay. Taking some time to rest and relax and just watch movies. And it's not going to, I don't think, I mean, she's only three right now, so maybe it will later, but I don't think it's going to mess up your child too much.

If they have a few weeks where they're watching a little bit more TV, watch a little more TV. So let her go take a nap and let her outside. Let her explore the world a little bit. Seriously. Get to know the neighbors. Yeah, we can,

we can put up a little fence. You can't, she can't climb very well. She's an Ellis. She's got my climbing jeans. Trust me. She stays in her crib all night. She never gets out of her crib.

She'll be fine, Clark. Yeah, that's my, that's, that's an easy answer. But just like, like I was going to say, like, just try to get creative in small things, but that's kind of exhausting sometimes. Like one of my sisters is so great. One of my, like that, that makes me sound like my other sister's not great. One of my sisters though, is like so active and like, they're always out and about. And so I think this has been a hard time for her, but I watch and every single day they're doing something like crazy creative at home. But I'm like, surely she's going to hit a limit where she just runs out of

ideas. Your body only has so much, right? Like eventually you're just going to have to put on, you know, whatever boss baby and just be fine with it. You know, what is that? Oh, it's like this movie. I don't know. I haven't ever seen it, but it's like a, I think it's like a little bit older kid movie. I think it's Alec Baldwin. He's a, he's a baby and he's a boss.

I don't know. I'm just putting the words together, dude. Why are you asking all these questions? Don't define, don't, don't say the words in the definition you know as far as I know it's just a boss who's a baby why do you ask yeah

that's it this works in corporate life as a boss and he's young he's like a baby size so I don't know anyway that's my advice

thank you Sarah that was sweet thanks Sarah that was fun to say that hey Jake and Brad this is Emily long time listener long time follower of Jake biggest fan of Brad,

and a forever Fair Grove, Missouri citizen. Stratford sucks. Go Eagles. Wanted to call today to let Brad know that there should be a full version of the jingle from episode 26, Sweet Ghost Runners Pod. I know all the words already. Secondly, Jake, let's prove to Brad that Missouri is better than Kansas by naming three things. I'll start. Bass Pro, Brad Pitt, Cashew Chicken. It's your turn. And then last thing, Brad, I will trade a handmade oil painting or a white charcoal portrait from my shop for my very own Ellis Custom Cre creations t-shirt hit me up on the instagram um

that's all bye now bye now roll tat at first i thought her name was emily long time this is emily long time listener like that's cool this is jake having a hard time paying my bills. Remember those old commercials like 15, 20 years ago, Bob, we're having a baby. It's a boy. Remember that? Like you like had to pay for every call for collect calls. We're having a baby. It's a boy.

Bob, we're having a baby. It's a boy. The baby's healthy is three and a half pounds or whatever. Six pounds, five ounces. Oh, wow. I'm doing fine. There's something like that. Yeah. I haven't thought about those commercials in forever. I'm doing fine. There's something like that. Yeah.

I haven't thought about this commercial since forever. Or having baby. It's a boy. 10, 10, 220 was probably what that was from. Remember those guys? Nope. 10, 10, 220. What is that?

That was like the collect call number. Locker combo code. Yeah. That was like, yeah, you can get personalized private lockers at like theme parks to put all your belongings in whenever you go. 125? Not anymore. 10, 10, 220. That's the code. 10, 10, 220. It was like the, like. I don't know, 125? Not anymore. 1010-220. That's the code.

1010-220? It was like the... I don't know, dude. Boss baby. I haven't seen it. Ah! Carrot Top was the thing? Carrot Top was the person on 1010? Somebody out there is going to be like, oh yeah. Somebody's probably going to be like, actually it was 510-220, dude. You're way off. And Jake would have known

if it was that. Anyway, did she ask us a question besides saying that missouri is great uh she wanted you to name some kansas things she had oh she's from fair grove those were our rivals yeah she made she made a weird noise for eagles she goes go eagles don't think that's how eagles sound well uh purple they're purple i don't know if you know about purple eagles purple eagle uh the fair grove fairgrove purple lightning yeah it's very weird species of eagle okay missouri dogs larynx in it so yeah it's weird larynx yeah didn't think you were gonna use that word on the podcast today i bet i i worked it in so it paid me five bucks so

just kidding i would i would do that at camp back in the days when like you know middle school is like can i get a shout out at k life tonight yeah in my like little clever way around it was like i can't give you a shout out because i have to give every kid a shout out, but give me a word. Love it. I think I've said that on a podcast before. Actually, this sounds familiar. Maybe.

Because I said, did I say that it was a fun game that we would play with our skits where everyone had to use the word in the skit? Like we do like a bumblebee skit. I think so. Look at us. Look at us.

At least, you know, we're telling the truth because the stories repeat. Yes, that's right. Go Fairgrove. Go Stratford. What did she ask? Oh, name three things about Kansas, right. Go Fairgrove, go Stratford. What did she ask? Oh, name three things about Kansas, Brad. I thought she said name three things about Missouri.

She'll start and you would add to it. But I can. Well, Dwight Eisenhower is better than Brad Pitt. I think we can all agree. Better looking. For sure. Better looking. I like Ike over. I like Brad Pitt. You know, Brad Ellis. Brad. Oh, OK. Number two, Brad Ellis. We'll go and say it if we're going to go there. He is the co-founder or sorry, the founder of one of the greatest LLCs in Kansas. That's right. Number three, the cowboy boot invented in Kansas. Sure.

Sure. I mean, that's on everyone's top three of Kansas things, I think. I think. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Or the longhorn. The longhorn was not invented here, was it? But they make them here.

They breed them here. They bring them up from Texas to feed on our good grass. They do something up here. We have fertile grass. Oh, yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Or you do. I don't.

My grass is all right, probably. Yeah. Those are my answers. Okay. My other, and I'm just going to add on. Yeah. Harry S. Truman. Okay.

Also a looker. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I love looking at on. Yeah. Harry S. Truman. Okay. Also a looker. Yes. Oh my gosh. I love looking at those, those glasses. Oh yeah. He got, he got those at Warby Parker for sure. Warby, Warby dropping bombs. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Okay. World War B, not A, but B. Oh, that's clever. Yeah. That's good. You know what? I'll just end it there. That's great. That's all. That's Harry. No, Harry Truman, Mark Twain, and,

uh, Ozzie Smith. Oh yeah. Just keep it wizard. Keep it up in that area of the state. Yeah, sure. That that's,

that's how you know, you'll get me. I'm not, I'm not going to comment. Did you see on our ghost runners a story? Somebody, you probably didn't even notice, but somebody tagged us in like their little fill in the blank things that they're doing on instagram stories these days i don't usually

like put them on there but the day he had his favorite team oh dylan bone i saw that dylan bone yes yeah dylan bone favorite team st louis cardinals and i reposted it and then put thanks for the shout out dylan bone and just put put our caption right over the st louis cardinals i don't know if he's gonna notice or if anybody will obviously notice i saw that you gave him a little nickname he put it on there he said on the first one it said uh nicknames d bone or bone saw oh i didn't even see thanks for the capture for the shout out bone saw i thought you were just like this guy's last name is bone so i'm gonna call him bone saw oh yeah the bone saw okay thank. Long time. Hey, big daddy and Jake.

This is Mr. Steve's checking in from Minneapolis, Minnesota. And I wanted to know, even though Brad, you've already had this happen, maybe go into a time machine six years or so, and then answer this question. If you had $12,000 to plan out your dream bachelor party, what would you do? That's it. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

I haven't been using bye-bye. I need to get – That's it. The soft – Bye-bye. The soft ending is great. Is it over? Kind of?

Oh, now it's over. That's it. Yeah. That's it. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, Mr. Steez. Gosh, that dude's funny. is it over kind of oh now it's that's it yeah that's it bye bye bye bye mr steeze gosh that dude's funny um if twelve thousand dollars is a lot of money for a bachelor party i wish you just went in it okay imagine you have twelve thousand dollars bye bye what do you do bye bye that's it um wow i've legitimately given more thought to my wedding than i have my bachelor

party so i don't have a lot of like preconceived ideas i'm so chill with that stuff we can make answers for this question obviously oh i know mine okay keep going though my answer or my my initial thoughts are i don't care about any of that stuff unless as long as i'm with my friends that's yeah that's the main thing with my friends we can do anything and make it fun um twelve thousand dollars though you can do a lot of fun things with your friends. So what's your answer? I get a bunch of my, oh, I'm trying to figure out how I want to allocate this. Okay.

I think I just get all my friends in Kansas, all my friends in the area who can drive. Anyone who wants, I'm not going to fly people in. Who can drive? Okay. So 16 and up. Nick's out the wheelchair kid. Anyone, someone in the area is going to drive in. We're going to play a full nine on nine baseball game on Coffman Stadium.

Oh, yeah. Then we will go over and play. What position are you? I'll be flexible. Hey, I'm here to have a good time. I don't need to be the star of the show. Sure. Then we go over, same parking lot, to Arrowhead Stadium.

Oh, Jake is getting married. We play a football game. Okay. They think, wow, this is awesome. He probably spent all his money doing this. No, it was only $5,000 a piece to rent those things for two hours. You have $2,000 left. What do I do with that? Wait, who wants to be all-time quarterback? It's Patrick effing Mahomes. Hey, Jake, just really excited about your bachelor party, man. Just really excited about your nuptials. I pay him to show up and be our all-time quarterback.

Oh, yes. For an hour. Oh, yes. I would run a flag route so perfect and he would throw it so perfect and I would just have some baby steps at the end and drop it probably. That's what I do.

That would be so fun. Just play sports all day long. Okay, but you stay in Kansas City? Yeah. Okay. Yeah's what I do. So fun. Just play sports all day long. Okay. But you stay in Kansas city. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That'd be awesome, man. That does sound really awesome. Thanks. Yeah. I think for not thinking about it ever before, I think that's what I would do. My first thought was like a huge game of laser tag. I don't know why laser tag is so intriguing to me, dude. I'm with you, But like find the greatest laser tag equipment you can. I'm talking like it can hit you from 300 yards away. It's got a scope.

Yes, I'm serious. Yes. There's gotta be $12,000 worth of laser tag guns. This is a good idea. And go to like some like random like dirt yard. Yeah, sure. No, I was thinking like a huge like dirt patch that has all these like a construction site.

It sounds like you're not willing to budge on it being, there's dirt. No grass. I don't want grass. No grass. My bachelor party, baby We don't need grass at the back. There has to be dirt Okay, and we have it is we have some kind of like very elaborate game of laser tag where it's like we're doing capture the flag Oh president. Yeah. uh king of the castle team slayer that one too and we just do like some amazing stuff i don't know what it would be but i'm just imagining like you know you're like the sniper and you see this guy like there's like way far away there's like different loadouts you can get that's a good idea too yes yeah you have different roles for each person you've got like a sniper you've got like a semi-automatic yeah rcp 90 do you remember uh golden eye that was

like the really yeah this automatic just bullet thing yeah it was just we got one guy doing the proxy mines for uh sure for laser tag proxy mines what happens then it just like shoots a little little stinger up your foot oh no you see all these laser things just go in the air and you have to get away from them or if one of them gets you you're done you're done this is fun yeah i don't know some kind of massive laser tag and it ends with just a wonderful spread of barbecue no no i got it i got it you think oh brad probably spent all twelve thousand dollars on this lazy tag nope he only spent ten thousand yes guess who shows up bob lee swagger from shooter it's mark walberg i thought you're gonna say patrick mahomes i thought about it hey man just really excited to play some some laser tag with you me and britney can play this all the time when we're quarantined we play a lot of laser tag in our

basement uh someone clipped that and sent it to patrick mahomes see what he thinks oh man that's that's a fun question i love mr steve his questions are always so good they always get us going dude like initially i'm like i don't really have an answer. Who cares? Zombie apocalypse. I'm with my friends. I don't care what else. And then by the end of it, I'm so fired up to play laser tag, but it's illegal.

I've got to go to a different country, but that's illegal too. What do you mean it's illegal? To be with people. You would easily be six feet away playing laser tag. Oh, I forgot it's outdoor. Sorry, I forgot the dirt patch. And the dirt, yeah. Somehow I-

No, we're not shuffling the dirt inside. I overlook the dirt somehow. Gosh, that'd be. Somehow I... No, we're not shuffling the dirt inside. I overlooked the dirt somehow. Gosh, that would be fun. Oh, yeah. We're definitely allowed to. And we could do some cool rolls. Crop circles. Yes. Definitely for the drone footage. No doubt. Alright, we got one more.

One more. Please, God. Please, God, give me one more. Give me one more. Hacksaw Ridge, anyone? Everybody on your feet for the best podcast in the Midwest. Seriously love your guys' podcast. Been a longtime listener and have told so many people about it, so figured it was finally time for me to send in a voice memo. This is Natalie from Michigan, fellow Midwesterner over here.

Have something I would love to hear your opinion on regarding text etiquette. I've been called out before for texting someone too late and then it woke them up. My thought has always been if you, you know, are waking up, woken up easily by your phone, um, or if you don't want to be woken up, you would have your phone on silent. Now I wouldn't call someone, but I feel like texting is different for some reason. If 11 o'clock is when I have time to respond to your text, that's when I'm going to do it, assuming that it's not going to wake you up because you have your phone on silent anyway. Because as Jake says, who doesn't have their phone on silent these days anyway, right?

Feeling like I might be the minority in this opinion, but would love to hear what you guys think. Cue up the great work, guys. Natalie, we're here. Well, I don't know what Brad thinks. I'm here to tell you, you are not a minority. 100% right. That is rational thinking. Yes.

Do not disturb is the greatest thing that's ever come to an iPhone. Oh, see, I never even used that. You sleep so hard, though. Disturb me all you want. I just keep my phone on silent. But it vibrates, right? Oh, bring it on. It doesn't bother you. I've never woken up. Yeah, you sleep so hard. Oh, no.

I put do not disturb until 7 a.m. and then... Disturb. After that, if I wake up to a couple vibrations on the side table, that's fine. I deserve that. It's 7 a.m. You should have a disturbed song as your alarm. Down with the sickness. You better get up.

Down with the sickness. One of the guys I follow on Instagram this week, right after the celebrity singing the Imagine video, it's super viral. The next morning he makes a video like, hey, I just wanted to encourage you guys with a song, just in these uncertain times. And he's saying, down with the sickness.

It was so funny. Did you see John Mayer's response oh my gosh that was great too it was good i didn't know that song that ariana grana i didn't know it either but it's still funny that he another guy on instagram i saw it yeah it was the is the day or on twitter the day after it he was like uh they sent me the wrong song oh yeah i saw that one the dear slim guy did you see this so just the perfect so if you don't know dear slim is like this old eminem song where it's like very serious and it's like taken from a true story and uh it's like imagine all the people and you never write me and my girlfriend won't doesn't love me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just very, yeah, that was a good one.

Oh my gosh, it was so funny. Okay, anyway, where are we? Oh, I have something else to say about Disturbed. Okay. Catherine the other day was like, we were playing Blocus. You ever play that game? Blocus.

Blocus, sure. Because they're blocks. Yeah, that makes sense. You're not blowing kisses. Hey, what did you do? You just bloke me? No, you blocked me. Okay, Blocus.

Although blowing kisses, very big advocate for it now it's a it's a corona but don't put your hand to your lips before as you blow no pantomime pantomime all of it don't even make the sound that's dangerous oh you're right okay do it silently silent film i'm gonna blow one right now so thank you yep very corona safe affection yes absolutely hey good night love you like thank you in uh yeah it looks like thank you sign language you know the language you know the esl um disturbed katherine was like we were listening to some random music that was you know just music that i like uh while we were playing blockus and she was like hey can i actually put on a song that i've been into lately oh i can't

wait she's like you're gonna make you're gonna make fun of me a little bit, I think for this. Oh, I can't wait. But she queued it up and then there was the next song and it was disturbed version of down or disturbed version of the sound of silence, which is a Simon and Garfunkel song. How did she even find this song?

I think somebody put her, put it on an Instagram story that she saw. What are the odds of me saying a disturbed song? And Catherine has been listening to it this week. What in the world? Not down with the sickness. It was sound of silence. But still disturbed?

Yeah. What a quink eating. I was like, Catherine, do you know disturbed is like this hard metal, like random, like. Like scary. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, the album artwork looked a little scary, but I just really love this song. She had heard it onto the blacklist.

We used to watch the blacklist. And so it was on there one time, I think. But anyway, it was just so funny that my sweet wife does not listen to that stuff. Oh, can we listen to some Disturbed? Can we please put on Disturbed after we listen to The Lumineers, please? Okay, okay.

Under Oath, then. If we can't do Disturbed, Under Oath. Please, me without you, please? Anyway, that's going to hit like, you know, one third, one eighth of our audience right there, that joke, but people love it. That's fine. Yeah. 12.5%. There you go. You're welcome. Well, all right. What's the question? Oh yeah. This, this same argument is something that we talked about just last week off the podcast. Isaac was napping on the couch and I was like, oh, we got to be quiet. And then it brought up this conversation. You were like, if you nap in a public place or not public, like public park, but in a shared shared space, you're somewhat asking to be woken up a little bit. Like if you

really wanted to nap, you go to your room. Absolutely. And it's the same thing. Like if you really want to sleep hard, you keep your phone on silent right absolutely i i don't have anything to add to that at all just you know retweet it that's 100 rt yeah yeah good so natalie you're absolutely doing the right thing absolutely do not disturb i would really recommend people using as well gotcha as well as well so cool very good those are all of them all the voice memos thank you guys for sending them in uh i'd say this week you have to send us a voice memo if you meet which quality, Brad? What do we want to say? If you've been to the dentist in the last six days. Whoa.

I'm just kidding. Two months. Two months? Okay. Two months. Yeah. Of dental time. Yeah.

You have to leave us a voice memo. Okay. Don't ask us questions about dentistry. We're sick of those. Okay? Yeah. We dental time. Yeah. You have to leave us a voice memo. Okay. Don't ask us questions about dentistry. We're sick of those. Okay. Yeah. We're done. Keep it somewhere else.

But you have to leave us a voice memo if you've been in the dentist the last two months. So from there, let's do review of the week. All right. Mine is one we got yesterday. I actually put it on my story because I loved it so much. The title of it said, this podcast is ruining my dating life. When I first read that, I got a little nervous. I was like, okay, it does say five stars still. So this will probably be good. Yeah. Recently, listen to episode 18 before going out on a date. While on the date, I made fun of the guy for

having Pokemon cards. I only realized that I had gotten Jake and Brad talking about their Pokemon cards mixed up with an actual conversation with this guy. This guy had never had Pokemon cards and was pretty irked and confused. There was no recovering from that, no third date, and no way will I quit listening to you guys. Elena Joy, thank you. That was so well written.

It's so funny and hilarious that that happened to you. I'm sorry. That is funny. Somebody else has said something similar to that or something like that. We're like, yeah, I thought my friend said this, but you said it. Yeah, that's always funny to like, be like, yeah, I had a conversation with you about that. No,

no, no. That was somebody you're listening to a podcast for. That's just such a funny thing that's going on today. Um, my review of the week is only, yeah, it was, it was great because it said I had a funny line. So I was like, Oh great. Oh, that was good. Uh, all right. So when you taught is the name of the review from Sassafras for such a quick, quiet reference. But that right there made my quarantined morning, just China in quotes, make it through the day. Thanks for always giving us quarantainment and making us laugh. You two are awesome. So love that you are entertained during this time. I know that's like our biggest goal always, but especially now

it's just like, let's just give people things to be entertained by and laugh at and have some kind of interaction with that's not quarantine related. So thank you. Thanks everyone for listening. Yeah. Thank you. I don't know when you are, I don't know who's still driving or when you have time to listen to podcasts, but we appreciate all your listens. I know I'm behind on all my podcasts to listen to because I don't know when I listens. I know I'm behind on all my podcasts to listen to. Me too, yeah. I don't know when I would do this. Chipotle's three minutes away.

There's no time. No. I'm not even going to listen to ours. Especially, yeah. Especially when you get to Chipotle, you have to explain your Mr. Piv order. Yes. Gosh.

Yeah, every time. Anyway, let's wrap this up. Brad, I don't know. She special requested the sweet Ghostrunner of mine. I don't know. She special requested the sweet ghost runner of mine. I don't know how we're going to find out the original lyrics. Oh, jeez. Do whatever you want. I'm just putting you on the spot.

Whatever you want to do. Hey, ghosties, you're so fine. You're so fine every Monday morning. Hey, ghosties. Hey, ghosties. Hey, ghosties, you're so fine. You're so fine every Monday morning. Hey, Ghosties. Hey, Ghosties. Hey, Ghosties, you're so fine. You're so fine every Monday morning. Hey, Ghosties.

Hey, Ghosties. It comes out every morning and we are Jake and Brad and we are the best podcast that you've ever had. We always love when we get voice memos and five stars reviews from all of our fans. Hey, Ghosts of Fire. I don't know. I can do a different one

if you want me to. No, it's funny. That was good. It's funny. We did it. It's funny. TikTok's going to love it, dude. Oh, find me on there.

Woodwalker. Woodwalker. Joshua19, you guys. Oh, man. Think about it. Good times. Okay. Thanks for listening. See you guys next Monday. about it good times okay thanks for listening

see you guys next Monday follow us on Instagram leave us a voice memo peace peace love you guys peace peace

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peace peace peace peace Come on.