Ghostrunners - 89 - CSI: Miami

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Jake just got Covid swabbed for the first time and Brad has a new healthy habit. Go to HumbleSalt.co and use promo code HEYMOM to get 10% off your order! Become a Patron and get exclusive content from Jake & Brad: https://bit.ly/2XJ1h3y  Watch this episode on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3cQSPnw  Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P  Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jake, as you know, I've been in a relationship for about a year plus now. It's been a little bit longer than or a little bit shorter than our podcast relationship with Anna at Mother Dearest Coloring Books, writing jokes for her. Yes. Didn't know where you were going with that for a while. Yeah, yeah. Just recently got broken up with by Anna. No.

I got an email. It's not what you think. I'm still going to be writing jokes. But she sent me an email and it said this, Hey X, it has been nothing but a pleasure working with you throughout the past few years and hiring you for joke gigs, but I'm honored to introduce you to Alyssa, your new joke gig contact. Oh, X. Wait, is that what you asked her to call you? No. Is that your joke? No, it's not. When I'm being funny, call me X. It's not Theodore Geisel or Dr. Seuss. It's Brad every time.

I don't know. Hey, X. Hey. It's like, did my jokes mean nothing to you? Alpha male? Come on. That was hilarious. Pita bread?

Mrs. Hippie? That was good. Pita pan? Golly. Uh-oh. Ooh, I think this tight beat means that it's going down With some random thoughts and white meat too Midwest best friends eating fast food on repeat

So come along, let's have some fun And go ahead, get on your feet Cause this is the Ghost Brothers Podcast Ghost Brothers Podcast Every Monday morning we're taking ground Ghost Brothers Podcast Ghost Brothers Podcast Bradley, how was your week besides getting broken up with this morning? Oh, actually, it was hard for another reason.

It was a joking reason. But I also had to break up with something else in my life. It's unofficial, but I think my wife is getting rid of my couch. What do you mean? I mean, she's wanting to sell it. Why do you say your couch? Oh, our couch. But, but yeah, we bought these couches whenever, like the brown leather couches that we have in our living room. Nice. Like the whole thing. We bought them like months after we got married and I love them. I think they're so comfortable, but apparently they're not good looking. They're, they stick to you when it's hot, they're cold when it's cold. And so she's ready to get rid of them.

And she got these like antique chairs from her parents' house that she reupholstered. This is not what you want, Jake. This is, it sounds like when it's cold, those are going to be cold. As are most things. Yeah. When it's cold, get a blanket. Like, like, I mean, we've had like serious conversations back and forth about this multiple times. Like, yeah, maybe we tried to move it downstairs. She tried to like, you know, compromise. And I was like, great. I'll just stay downstairs all the time. Yeah. Uh, I was kind of feisty a few times, but I was just like, I need this couch in my life. We couldn't move it down the stairs too big. You can't, you can't do it.

So here I am just trying to figure out like, like she already moved in the other chairs. There's no moving. There's no, there's no going back on those other chairs. This is too bad. This, this saddens me. The last two pieces of furniture that bought a Facebook marketplace. No joke. It's been a husband who's like handled everything. And goes yeah my wife says we need new ones i'm not getting like a month

ago isaac and i did that we picked one up and he's like we only had this about six months i don't know why we're getting rid of it my wife says it's not nice enough right well we'll take it that's that's yeah that's the exactly how i bought these i bought them from like one of the vps of cerner which cerner is a huge company so So the VP is very wealthy guy. Congrats. Selling them for like $700 for all this furniture. And he's like, yeah,

my wife came home with $5,000 worth of new furniture the other day. And she said, we need to get rid of this stuff. And I was like, that's crazy. I can't imagine. I get it now, man.

Now you can imagine. So as the men in a healthy marriage, what do we get to just show up at home with and make the wife uh do things about do we get anything you don't you don't and you have to just be like that's that's life that's like and katherine right now would scoff and be like oh my gosh i do so much and we do we have so many things that you like yeah i don't i can't think of them i'm sure she's right she's always right She's always right. That's the frustrating thing. That's what they say. Happy wife. She's always right. Happy wife. Happy.

Um, correct. She's always nice. Yeah. I've always heard that the, the woman likes the house cause of the kitchen. The man likes the house cause the garage. I don't really know if that's true. It's true in our sense, but man, it's been, it's been a tough week. Sorry to hear that. Thanks. I like, like right now it's like kind of off to the side in our living room. Like it's like near the bar, if you will. Just, just a serving bar. We don't, we don't do that. And don't do what?

The alcohol. You think doing alcohol is cool? No. You know how he says that in the office? Yeah. Doing drugs is cool. I think doing alcohol is cool. No, but it's like off to the side and I just like lay on it and just like try to take naps whenever i can just like it's like a dog that you know is about to get like like uh put down

or something like just just one last walk buddy they're gonna be like someone off facebook marketplace is gonna come and take this couch and you're gonna be like laying on it as they load it into their truck like please that's my one condition one more nap yes one more nap just just once we get to your house i'll just walk back i'll walk back i don't care i will sleep in the bed of the truck as you transport it oh i'm sure they're i'm sure they're not the best but i love them so i always liked him seen a lot of chiefs victories on those couches exactly oh wait so where are we going to watch it this week? You can come and watch it on our... Not in your antique furniture.

Reupholstered. Family heirloom. It's like Catherine's grandpa's grandpa. It's so far, so old. No, you're coming over here. That's what I'm saying, dude. It's hard to... We're not here.

I understand. No one lives here. I know. My house. Yeah, I like your sectional, but that other couch is not comfy either. We'll make Harrison sit on that couch. Okay. Harry, that's your couch.'s his anyway anyway that was one of the things i said though i was like katherine people are going to come over here like my i said my friends

specifically i was like my friends are going to come over here less because it's less inviting to sit on it's white the the new chairs are white ah imagine eating pizza on that thing you spill one little tomato tomato sauce pizza sauce on there you're done you're done you're sleeping out in the garage now it's cold and red that's right so anyway uh yeah what about you man what's going on i had kind of a weird morning i woke up to some emails from my amazon account it said like uh your order is on the way and i was like i was like did i order something on amazon because i just bought some dumbbells for the basement yeah but i bought those directly

from the website no amazon needed so i was like what is this click on it it's a couple a couple duvets oh cool sweet and i say a couple you need more than one and then i'm like what in the world and then i see this will be delivered tomorrow to Bolivar, Missouri. So then I'm like, what? Okay. I look and see there's another order in my email that says I ordered like a, it's like a canvas sunrise painting. I ordered three of those also go to Bolivar.

And it's like close enough, like where you're recognized in Bolivar. So you're like, okay, maybe there's some miscommunication here. That's not just fraud i i didn't even know what to think so i was like are these criminals is this criminal activity yeah two duvets and three paintings and then so i don't know what to think because i don't think they're very good criminals because they sent it to my address in bolivar like my eight years ago where i lived in college or whatever what like my old dorm, they sent it to, to there. So they didn't even like, they use my credit card on file. They used an old address on file and they're never

going to see these two face unless they live in your old dorm. There's no way that doesn't make sense. So hang them up with command strips. He's like really nice paintings. I left some stuff in my original dorm room, like some like treasure map stuff, but it wasn't my Amazon account and password. It was just my dog's name and the last four digits of my social. So mother's maiden name, you know, fun stuff like that. Right. First street I lived on. Right.

That's another thing. Security questions are getting weird. I just signed up for, I opened a new account with a new bank or something. And it was like, you need three security questions. And they were like all over the place. It was like one of your favorite desserts. That's not ice cream. I was like,

Oh man, that's tough. I don't think I'm going to be able to remember this. I would, I would not choose that because you get to choose, right? You get to choose like the three or is it just like, you get to choose your question.

I would not choose that one. No. Yeah. Brownies wrong. It's tiramisu. I don't remember liking tiramisu. You did a year ago. I guess so.

Yeah. Apparently you go through phases. So, US Bank. Weird security questions. Anyway, so I go to my Amazon account to try and figure this out. I go to orders, and it's not there. This is the confusing part. It's not under pending orders.

It's not on canceled orders. It's just not even there. I'm like, well, how do I get an email? They clearly use my account. They use my credit card. They use my old address. Why is it not on my Amazon account? Was it a real Amazon email?

Like, email? Yeah. Like, was it actually like from amazon.com or did it look like amazon but really it was from the email when i clicked manage my order it took me to the amazon app oh so okay i would assume oh so very confusing i mean some sort of amazonian uh you know purgatory well you haven't figured out yet i don't know this happened this morning yeah this is interesting i'm i'm dealing with this now i i i mean i'm sure you would recognize this but yeah going back to that like what if it was like amazon at orders.com or something like that and you're like oh that's not the same thing like i've gotten stuff like that like where google will try to be like you need to update this thing but it's really not google it's some other person that says like google.youraccount.com

or something like that. Yeah, I guess it's worth looking into. I want justice for you after last week, dude. And I didn't even tell you this two days ago, I go to pay in the, I think it was at Chipotle and my credit card's not my wallet. Like what in the world? Where's my credit card? And so I just use like my backup credit card, but I still haven't found that in two days and i think they're used it though they're separate no no one's used it okay except for these two amazon purchases so i think these are it's a coincidence these are separate things like if i give you my credit card you couldn't get into my amazon account you know like it's just a coincidence that these are both happening at the same time but it's unfortunate that in a six-day span i've lost a laptop a credit card and now my amazon account

is compromised well hopefully your credit card's just lost in your car or something i've lost a laptop, a credit card, and now my Amazon account is compromised. Well, hopefully your credit card's just lost in your car or something. I've looked a lot in my car. My car is very clean right now and I can't find it. My best guess now is that I gave it to someone in the drive-thru and then drove off before getting it back. Oh, that could be. That's my only thought. That's like that one time I lost my wallet for the longest time and it was at Chick-fil-A

the whole time. Go back to your home. Also, Harrison doesn't have, he can't find his wallet right now. So this is so funny. Is it like contagious? Like, I feel like, cause I feel like Isaac forgets things. Well, maybe not. Peter is the worst.

Peter forgets things all the time. I just feel like, yeah. Once one person loses it, everyone else does. Harrison is convinced that someone like in the neighborhood is messing with us. It's so funny. This dates back to like two weeks ago. It's a conspiracy in in the neighborhood he couldn't find his car keys and none of us knew where they were at but then i he was missing him for probably six to seven days and then i found him in the pocket of my winter coat just so random i'm not even wearing my winter coat really

and so to mess with harrison i just put him back in like the key bowl where he'd been looking he's like i swear i put him here they're not here and so for an entire day i i didn't say anything i just put him in the key bowl and he's texting eisenhower he's calling us he's like what in the world like i know they were here and so he is like freaking out and now that his wallet's gone and my credit card's gone he's like i think i think they took my keys and they put them in your winter coat pocket yeah maybe isaac just is messing with you the whole time maybe it's all isaac it could be all isaac he's just bored yeah so oh man uh sorry about all that but um that's what's going on it's been kind of a weird morning i'm just trying to deal with all that and then you haven't figured

it out though i know we gotta you'll update us on the patreon i'm sure i'll update you there i went ahead i haven't canceled my credit card yet just because i do find it but i've went ahead and made the necessary changes like all my yeah auto payments were on that old card i've switched around yeah there was one time somebody somehow got my credit card number and bought something on walmart.com and i like called and was like this wasn't me whatever and i was just assuming like okay that was one fraudulent thing they'll just take it off and we'll be good but then they like have to send you a new card so like because you they send you a new card number and everything and so don't cancel it until well i don't know maybe that's bad advice but i i feel like you should wait until you see

somebody else using it because then if you do find it later on but you've already canceled it you have to go into all your accounts online that you have auto pay and xyz xyz x also i just i remembered like three weeks ago around christmas time i my spotify kept getting hacked someone in israel kept trying to play music the same time i was we were having like a little battle like i was pressing play and then he would press play and would pause my music and i press play really yeah you should have you should have like like uh uh passively like played certain songs that were like, I know who you are. Or I make a playlist called like, our love isn't, I'm trying to do an Israel pun. Israel. My hate Israel for you.

Oh yeah. There it is. There it is. And just all the songs, maybe they spell out a sentence in the playlist that say. Yeah, he'd catch on to that. Stink, stink it. Stink you. You.

Stink you. Stop playing my music. Yeah. That's good. Stink you. You? Stink you. Stop playing my music. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Every once in a while, I get notifications from like, your Apple ID is trying to be used in Hawaii, Hanoi, China. I don't like that. And I just say, ignore.

I say, not allow. Yeah. No, I do not want to allow this. But every once in a while, I think, what if I accidentally press allow? Like, because you open it up and then it's right there what are you what are you signing up for at that point what are they going to do i know dude i'm just i'm feeling legitimately a little discouraged i'm just so discouraged with criminals i'm tired of it stop doing bad things yeah guys it's it's the season of giving it's january come on we're it's almost it's ml Day. Yeah. Is it that?

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be discouraged. Let's encourage you some. I have a new trend in my life. Okay.

Every day this week so far, and tomorrow as well, I plan on, I've walked to McLean's every morning. Look, that's a good habit. I know. It's been very enjoyable. So McLean's is a coffee shop. I actually mapped it out. It's like a mile and a half from my house so it's pretty close but far enough away that you get a nice bristol walk that's a long walk it's not too bad you got to bundle up you do and if you get to mclean's how about you're pretty warm no it feels nice

it's it's yeah the coffee it's a coffee shop so it's like i'll take that coffee now please yeah and my pepper jack burrito and acid reflux. But I, yeah, it takes like 25 minutes. Every single day I've gone a different route. It's been kind of fun. How fun. I think of Pythagoras every time. I'm like, Pythagorean theorem.

Just try to go straight line. What? Straight line. Hypotenuse. A squared, B squared, C squared. I don't think that has anything to do with walking in a straight line. Yeah. It just proves, it proves that the straight line is the diagonal is faster than going this way this way i've been thinking about it so therefore it's okay

okay but listen there's this road and there's this road i mean yeah and it makes a triangle yeah and then i go i go hypotenuse i go noose i noose it so therefore it's faster pythagorean pythagoras told us that i don't know if he was i think we knew that before before he just figured out the a squared and b i was actually thinking about that i was like how did they figure that out that's pretty amazing yeah so i remember when trey and i did our canceled cop video you know kind of pokey fun of cancel culture we end up canceling noah from noah's ark yeah but we really wanted to cancel like uh pythagoras pythagoras i guess was his name we were trying to figure out like a funny way like you were using a noose oh you know yeah or stuff like that high pot high

hip hip hop hip hop noose hip hop noose you can't do that come on hip hop anonymous uh anyway but i've been enjoying it i i go there go there i go there, oh I don't know, about once every morning Yeah, I go there every morning And I just have a good time I just I just read my bible I get some pepper jagarita And I do some work

And so far, four for four On working and getting an order that day Oh So I'm on my computer Messing people back and forth Order, order And you got recognized one day, right? on working and getting an order that day. Oh, so I'm on my, I'm on my computer, messing people back and forth order order. And you got recognized one day, right? That's right. Uh, yes. Tyler, shout out Tyler. I was sitting, uh, working one day and he's like, he freezes like, Hey, do you know where the wifi password is? I was like, I think it's this blah, blah. He's like, and I was wearing my ghost runner shirt. Hey, ghost runners podcast.

I was like, yeah. I was like, you listen to it. He's like, yeah, sometimes. And I didn't really know. I was kind of awkward. I was like, do you know? I'm one of the people. I'm one of the hosts. I'm the guy. Yeah. I'm Brad. And he, he, he, he kind of knew, he knew, but he didn't seem like he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you went to K state and I was like, yeah yeah and you went to k-state and i was like yeah i went to k-state i led worship yeah yeah you led worship at the church i went to like oh so cool blah blah so but it was like this awkward like it'd be like seeing michael jordan wearing an air jordan t-shirt like whoa air jordan yeah that's a cool brand right and then it's like

walking walking by and he's like i'm i'm. Yeah. The reason you like that brand is because of my performance. That's my body. That is the dunk. That's me. I don't know if I've told this story on the podcast or not. I know, I know I've told you, but back in the day when I worked at Canna Cook, we had young kids. There was this kid that came up to me. I was wearing a chief shirt and he's like, Hey, the chiefs, do you like the chiefs? And I was like, yeah, dude, I love the chiefs. I was like, do you like the chiefs i was like do you like the chiefs and he's like yes i do my dad owns them he's like seven years old i was like what it's like yeah my name is noble hunt i was like your dad your grandpa is like the lamar hunt that we named the trophy after it was crazy so that's kind of how i felt like the owner of the chief's son that's basically

like you're the owner of the chiefs i'm the son my dad owns the chiefs sounds like the owner of the chief's son. That's basically like you're the owner of the chiefs. I'm the son. My dad owns the chiefs. Sounds like the guy from holes. The duck may swim on the lake, but my daddy owns the lake. Exactly. Exactly. His dad owns the lake. My dad owns them.

I was like, I'm a, I'm a cohost of the podcast. So shout out to Tyler and anybody else that's seen me. I, I'm almost positive that probably eight episodes ago when I said, you know, I got recognized in a coffee shop

and the guy asked me hey i'm sure you get this a lot but are you a guy in trey kennedy's videos and i said i don't get this all the time thank you i'm pretty sure his name was tyler this might be the same guy well he said that he met you at one point so yes was that pilgrim it was that black dog oh he said pilgrim so maybe a different guy. Gosh, we just get recognized so much. You're so popular, dude. We are just blowing up. Blowing the roof off. Wow. Yeah.

Pilgrim's where I made friends with Luke. Shout out, Luke. Shout out, Luke. What up, dude? Hoagland. Hey. You're the man. Yeah.

So anyway, I've been enjoying it. I don't know if I'm going to do it every day for the rest of my life, going to McLean's. But Catherine had the idea. She's like, you should do McLean Mondays. I was like, okay. Get your week in order. Wait, she's trying to take you down a notch. She's like, you should do McLean Mondays. I was like, okay, get, get your weekend order. She's trying to like take you down a notch. She's like, Hey,

instead of going every day, why don't you just go McLean Mondays? I mean, she's a little worried about that pepper jack burrito. It's like, do we need to eat this every morning? A burrito and a coffee there. It's like $14.

So that's what she's worried about. She's out of the two of us. She's not the one worried about that stuff. So like I'm, I'm the Dave Ramsey of the two of us. Really? There's two different about that stuff. So like I'm, I'm the Dave Ramsey of the two of us. Really? There's two different kinds of people. According to Dave Ramsey,

there's the free spirit and there's the nerd. Daddy's a nerd. Daddy's a nerd. I, I would be good the rest of my life. Never hearing that. Like there's two guys, the people in this world.

Why is it? People still do that. People still say that people still try to put everyone in two different boxes i hate that i'm kind of a free-spirited nerd like every once in a while like every once i'll be like i'm gonna go to mclean's every day this week i don't care we talked about going to the chiefs game this weekend that was a little free-spirited yeah that by the way that's not happening even even if we wanted it to she already sold the tickets dang that was a funny uh post though did you read like exactly what it was like?

It was one of my friends that sent it to me from another girl that had a girl that had tickets and she was like, Hey, this girl has three extra tickets and she's looking for people that are fun. That would be fun to go with. And she's selling them to them. And I was like, Jake, you want to do this? That's, that sounds like us. We're fun.

That's only a great story for the podcast. And instead she sold it to somebody else. But apparently there were $600 each. No, thank you. Did they look fun? I don't know. No idea who they were.

They probably weren't as fun as us. They're like, Hey, I noticed you have some tickets for the chiefs game. My dad owns the chiefs. I'll buy them. Um, uh,

yeah, I have no idea. I don't know who the girl was. I don't, I don't know anything about it, but we both saw it. We're like $600. Heck no.

We can watch that at home on our leather couch. Oh, wait, wait. I have a sectional that I guess you can come over. We'll make Harrison sit on the lounge. That's fine. That's fine. RIP. We need to have a name for the couch so I can say RIP to it. Yeah. Anyway, RIP the couch. Let's fine. RIP. We need to have a name for the couch so I can say RIP to it.

Yeah, anyway. RIP to the couch. Let's see. Oh, here's something. Okay, so let's see. Where does this story even begin? Thanksgiving. Both my parents come down with COVID right before Thanksgiving, so it's kind of a bummer.

Oh, they definitely shouldn't probably spend time around their parents and my grandparents. Yeah, you went two floors on it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. So that of a bummer. Oh, they definitely shouldn't probably spend time around their parents and my grandparents. Yeah, you went two floors on it. Yes. Yeah, that's right. So that was a bummer. But I'm still hanging out with my parents. Whatever. Obviously, I'm still going to see my parents.

I get through that. No COVID. No problem. No problem. Go to Christmas. My sister has COVID. We love COVID and, you know, holidays. I get through that.

No problem. No problem. Some people didn't like it. Well, surely you didn't drive with your know, holidays. I get through that. No problem. No problem. Some people didn't like it. Well, surely, surely you didn't drive with your sister to Christmas, though. We actually didn't. I drove her around some other places, but I didn't drive her all the way down there. So you're right. Yeah.

Yeah. But Brad, you and I recorded a couple weeks ago. A lot of people voiced their pain. Not a lot of people. A few people voiced their pain that they didn't like that. But day nine of my 10 day quarantine. Day nine of my 10-day quarantine. Day nine of... Of feeling fine. It rhymes. And we recorded

together. No COVID. No problem. But then, a few days after that, roommate Harrison comes down with the vid. Uh-oh. It is like surrounding me. Like I, you know, parents, sister, Brad, now roommate. This is not good. that order so isaac

and i are like trying to buckle down like he's losing his taste his smell he tests positive like oh boy so i kind of start quarantining and trying to do the the respectful nice thing well then about three days later isaac comes down with it i'm like oh no i really thought you know isaac and i were we have a problem now. Immune together. Brad, I got swabbed this morning. I've had no symptoms this whole time. It's been the craziest thing. I'm like, why am I not getting it?

It's because all those talks in the mirror. Got swabbed this morning. Negative, baby! Yeah! This podcast is co-hosted by Brad Ellis, CEO of Ellis Custom Creations, and it's also co-hosted by the strongest man alive. The bionic man. I think my plan is to go straight from here to a sperm bank and ask for $1 million.

Say, hey, I am the greatest specimen. I beat it. Take my immune system and give it to a bunch of children. Oh, I'm so curious. That's awesome. First of all, congratulations. congratulations thank you i feel like you have had to have already had it that's my probably that's the easiest explanation but because you have surrounded yourself with covet at this point that's what i'm saying but it's weird that isaac

could have like isaac and i've been roommates this whole time and so it's interesting that i could have gotten it previously and not given it to Isaac because he has it now. So that is where it is. And I think what it boils down to is Jake is the strongest man alive. That's right. And those talks in the mirror are helping and pop and Zy boys are helping. So forget hydroxychloroquine, get some mirrors,

mirrors and Zy cam. Yes. And you'll be, and then you'll be saved just, and then you'll be fine. And then you won't get it. and then you'll be saved just and then you'll be fine and then you won't get it and you'll be saved that's good oh that fired me up amidst a month amidst the months amidst a bunch of amazon credit card stressful stuff got a negative test and i was like i knew it why do you even doubt it i got it so i could start working with trey again because i've been staying home all week right i haven't really left the house which is a bummer that i've been

quarantined for no reason yeah not for no reason obviously i know yeah just incubation stuff and yada yada give the yeah give the asterisk next to it yeah so we don't get in too much trouble um that's good man congrats but yeah i've never been swabbed before. Oh, it was a doozy. Yeah. He was like, I'm going to, I'm going to put this up. He did it. He did it himself. Yeah. I'm going to put this up an inch into your nose.

If that's an inch, my wife is going to be very happy someday. Should I not have said that? No, that's great. Because you're going to be doing yeah because we might get sick and it'll be nice to test each other that way to swab each other hey let's swap hey baby hey baby i'm tired okay we can swap tomorrow oh that's great uh so on my birthday no yeah yeah yeah never mind um oh never mind but i mean i say that truthfully because there's no way that was only an inch that did not feel good your nose itself is easily more than an inch right it didn't feel great and yeah, he's just wiggling around in there,

which I know 80% of the people listening have probably had a COVID swab. So you're like, yeah, I did this nine months ago. Suck it up. No one feels bad. I'm trying to measure my nose and I feel like your nose might be smaller than mine, but not much.

And that's at least two and a half inches. I bet it went, that's an inch. It went bigger than that. An inch. I could take my finger and do that right now. I'll do it. I'll do it. Every inch.

Inch. Sometimes if I'm really thirsty and I just go for a drink, I'll throw a straw at my nose an inch. That's the problem. You don't come that thirsty. Like if you're just ravenous. If I'm just fumbling for the drink, yeah. And I'll actually be up there.

But this was no inch. No inch that I know of. Yeah, you should have been like, hey, do you mind if I do something up you an inch real quick? Got the whole fist up there, doc. You seen that movie? What is it? Fletch.

No. Like when I was really little, I saw some of it like with my sister. He's getting his prostate checked and he's like, Oh, got the whole fist up there, doc. Oh man. That's well, yeah. I just had to do a saliva test for mine. Wow. Which was also not bad. It was, it was much better. I was very relieved, but it was also just really weird. Like all these people, I literally took my test in a parking lot. It was like this like makeshift,

like testing station. Yeah. Mine was like an old Sears. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It was like all these people like literally standing in like a six foot apart line in a parking lot, like just depressed to be there. I'm in my Crocs. That was a croc spot. Croc spot. Hashtag croc spot. And I was standing there and then they're like, okay, you just need to provide a saliva

sample for this. And so I was like, you just want me to spit in this little tube? And they're like, yep. And I look around and all these people are like, like spitting in their tubes. And I'm like, this is so depressing. Like we're all just like around this, this parking lot. Just I would love for you to say, can I get a magazine? I'd still like a magazine.

We just need saliva, sir. I'd still like one. Just, it just helps. It helps. Okay. Yeah. You, you drool. The food ads.

I like looking at like the hamburger advertisements. Yeah. Produces more saliva. That's right. Yeah. It was very sad. There's like a beat down tent, but there's nothing inside the tent a beat down tent so i went inside the building and they're like whoa back in your car sir back in your car which i had my mask on the the sign said open all day

i thought it was open you're always welcome but this says enter well uh yeah it says we will enter you yeah an inch at a time so i go back in my car and do it and yeah when i was done i just like pulled over into a parking spot and just kind of like let the tears dry i was like oh like i probably like 60 seconds of just like recovering really like i didn't i think you feel like violated is that kind of it just felt yeah just like something's inside of you it's like i need to like take a break from really yeah uh Because on our Patreon episode, Catherine talked about like her hands kept like slapping them away. Yeah.

I didn't feel that. Did you sit on your hands? I didn't sit on my hands. My sister swabs people at her hospital she works for and she tells them like, you have to sit on your hands or you have to hold your mom's hand. Oh, really? Yeah. My hands are fine because I'll say it again.

I'm the strongest man alive. Right. So that was fine. That's fair. But you cried a lot. I cried afterwards. And even goes like, what do you say? because I'll say it again. I'm a strong man alive. Right. So that was fine. That's fair. But you cried a lot. I did cry afterwards. And even goes,

he's like, uh, what do you say? He's like, your eyes watering. It's normal. Don't worry. That's normal.

Yeah. It's because we just touched them. We just touch your eyes. Like, are you sure? Did you make a noise? What kind of noise did you make? I think I made like a, Oh,

like that. Yeah. Like a, like a like a like a beagle like a coyote in the distance got stepped on in the night no no no that's more of like a yell that's like oh okay you're right that's this is like uh gosh you're good you're like laying in bed at night you're like are those coyotes yeah it's like really like soft that happens a lot in kansas city yeah that's what you did as a oh man i feel like i feel like i would i would be very quiet until until they exit me and then i would just go oh i'll just i'll just let out like a grunt moses in egypt that stung say some phrase like that mesopotamia mihamiya that hurt yeah this one guy followed instagram he made a video one time and i don't know why this stuck with me it's so just dumb but the title of the video was just like your boss who makes a weird noise after every sip of coffee he takes and it was like something like this i'll do

it right now i was like, it's just like five different noises like that. The internet's a crazy place. That's a great character piece. That's so funny. Oh, buddy. That's great. Well, so yeah, I am strong and I'm beautiful and I am, I have purpose and I've worth. Okay.

And so do you. Thanks, man. I was talking to the listeners. Thanks, man. I was talking to the listeners. Thanks, man. I have a little bit of a, not a rant. This is not going to be relatable to you, but I think it'll be relatable to a lot of listeners. Okay.

It's about marriage. It'll be good teaching advice for other couches. This is stereotyping women. I'm just going to say it, but that's what I live with. I live with a woman. I'm going to sit on my hands for this. Good for you. Um, I went to Lee summit the other day. If you know, Lee summit, if you're a Kansas city person, you know, it's not very close to, uh, um, at least some, it's not very close to Shawnee where I live. And so it took me about 35 minutes and I went there to get a Facebook marketplace purchase for my wife. Um, it was a baby carrier of some sort. She wants to strap bow on like a,

like a backpack, $5, $5. And I drove 35 minutes for it. I would never, that's kind of what I thought. She said it was a really good deal. I was like, sure. I would just have him ship it to you and pay 15. Would you really? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I, I just, it's just so funny to me. So Catherine will sell things for like $7. Like she'll put like $7 on there or like $10, $10. Hold on. Hold on. You drove 35 minutes for something that costs $5. I don't know. That's how much. Yes. Yes. Yes. I did. That's over an hour of your time to get something worth nothing. Well, but I don't think it's worth $5. I think it's worth more than... I think new, it probably costs...

I don't know. I genuinely don't know. Okay, sorry. Keep going. I just would never. You're right. This is not relatable. I would assume that new, it's at least $40.

Okay. Maybe more. Baby stuff's expensive. So I don't know why they were selling it for $5, but it's just so funny. Catherine, like, like women are so, that sounds so sexist or smart. So incapable, but also Catherine has these weird quirks, like where she like tries to sell something online for $10, let's say, and women will seriously try to bargain for like two extra dollars. They'll be like, would you take eight? And, and Catherine's like, what?

Like, what is this? Like it's $10 versus $8. Like, are you really going to stop like coming? Like, like she'll post them for $7. I can't do seven. Can you do three? It's like, you have $3 just like sticking around. I can't do seven.

I can't do seven. What kind of jam are you in where you can't spend seven dollars you can spend three i can do three but i'm gonna drive an hour and a half to come get it so it's like it's just so funny like how everyone just like thirst for like the feeling of like i i got a deal out of this probably what it is it's not even the money it's just like wanting to like feel like you're in control yeah and feel like and this isn't me talking about women specifically just like anyone who does like the extreme couponing or who does the bargaining. It's like, it's a feeling of power and a feeling of like, I set the terms and you agreed to what I said. I didn't agree to what you said. I think there's some deep rooted issues here. Yeah. It was just, I don't know how much the original listing, maybe the original listing

was for 10 and Catherine offered five, you know, I don't, I don't know, but it was just, it's just so funny to me. I've seen that like, like if someone's for $5 on Facebook, I'll be like, great. I would love to pick it up now. Can I come get it? You know? And her, she's just like, well, I shouldn't give Catherine a hard time. I don't think she does it too much, but when she sold things, yeah, people will try to bargain for like two extra dollars. And I'm like, is that really, if you say no, if Catherine says no, are they really going to be like, nevermind? It's not working about it. Yeah. I remember my, the first time my parents did a garage sale and I'm looking around at how much everything costs. I'm like, is this worth it? Yeah. You made like $18. Cool. Just take it a good will. Yeah. It would go so much faster.

Then you don't have to waste an entire Saturday. Yeah. And it takes forever to price those things. Yeah. Stickers. Yeah. So if you, I guess if you have some like big items, like if you have like an old baby crib and get 50 bucks for, and you have like 12 items like that, then it's worth it. But if it's just clothes. Yeah. I think, I think I, I think I believe this garage sales are dead. I think garage sales are all like, yeah. If you have 12 items like that, you have to find 12 different individual people that are just driving by looking for garage sales that need that exact thing. Whereas you can just post it on Facebook and people will literally search exactly. Like if they're looking for baby

crib, they don't know if they're driving by a garage that has a great baby crib right now, but if they're online baby crib. Okay. So what's, I agree with you. I bet garage sales are going down. Do not buy stock in garage sales. Don don't what could we like replace garage sales with like what's a way to get people in your neighborhood together to buy things that aren't just old pieces of clothing cotton candy machine i was thinking lemonade stand sounds nice street magic oh like a magic sale well i thought that was already happening is it already happening not Is it not already happening? Not in my neighborhood. Yeah.

Oh yeah. I would definitely start a street magic group. Driveway magic. Yeah. That would be fun. Yeah. Yeah. Driveway magic.

Driveway magic sounds fun too. And that's like very like. Like what does that mean? Yeah. People are always like, whoa, what's driveway magic? And then they realize it's literally driveway magic. But like every third Sunday, then it's not magic. I'm imagining the three of you guys doing something called driveway magic,

and it would be electric. I would pay. I'd pay a dollar. Maybe two. I think if the working out goes well for us, if we can keep this up for a few months, maybe we go driveway magic mic. Yes.

That's what we do. Now we're talking. Ten dollars. Would you take seven? Okay, sure. Come on in. Okay. And bring me a baby crib.

We'll call it even. Yeah, we got a lot of old ladies in our neighborhood. So I think they would enjoy driveway magic mic. I can just imagine some old lady like clapping on Harrison. Yeah. Whoa. Okay. Not socially distancing today.

Get over here. Yep. I'm going to end it there. That's good. Anything on your driveway that you could perform or sell other than clothes, I think is a fun idea. Oh, I love it. I just love selling things. It's just a good feeling. Driveway

dog petting. You go rent a bunch of... Oh, I like it. I like the angle of like, you don't even own the dog. You're a straight profit. Love it. And then you get that dog you're like see ya or i'm just i i start like a dog selling market i no i don't like this i don't like this i take it back no i'm not gonna i'm not gonna dog sell oh man um one other thing i want to say about this week brad tell me i think we were hanging out together uh a little bit ago and i was like i'm leaving i'm gonna be gone for i think maybe three hours i'm gonna go like eat i'm gonna do this other thing but when i come back

i don't know when i'm gonna come back but i know there's gonna be eight and a half minutes left of the third quarter was it right are you saying this yeah i do kind of i don't remember exactly what you said but i come back home you weren't there but harrison and i were there obviously and i get home and like dude you were waiting in your car were you you were waiting in your car i'm like no like what how much time is up i completely forgot about this and they go you open the garage door with 8 45 left and you got in here at 8 25 and i was like oh i missed it by like five seconds but still they were convinced y'all fired me up. I rode that momentum for two days. I do remember you saying that as you were leaving.

Like, and I thought that was like, that's a creative way to say when you're going to be back. And I absolutely nailed it. Oh, that's awesome. That's just me saying, uh, find creative ways to tell your roommates when you're going to be back and see if you nail it. Okay. Perfect.

Y'all be back in three and a half Xena warrior princesses. Okay. How'd he just watch just watching the screen. I've been playing zombie soccer for two hours. Yeah, exactly. Jake, there's a lot of things that have come back in 2021, but the best one is a sponsorship from a friend. Humble Salt.

Humble Salt is back, baby. They're ready to advertise with us again because of the overwhelming responses from ghost runners who have loved Humble Salt in the past and who are ready to get some more. So Davis is his name. Davis just got married to his lovely wife. Let me find her name. Her name is Anna. Davis and Anna just got married. They live in Dallas and they have this company called Humble Salt that we've definitely talked about before, but we're excited to talk about again. So Humble Salt comes from this quote from Charles Spurgeon,

who says the genuine salt of humility cannot be used in excess. Um, and so just the same way, uh, this humble salt is just as wonderful, uh, condiment that you can add to literally anything, any kind of food, and it can be better name of food, chicken, eggs, absolutely. Popsicles. Uh-huh. Well, have humble salt popsicles. I guarantee they'll be better. You're like, no, surely there's some things it doesn't work on. Popsicles are actually some of the best. Popsicle approved.

Yeah, absolutely. So I genuinely cannot think of anybody who would not like this. It's just a blend of amazing spices, herbs. All ages? Salt. Seriously, all. Yes. I don't know if you're joking about that or not, but seriously, Hattie is obsessed with it.

So many times she doesn't want to eat her broccoli. She doesn't want to eat her carrots. She's like, I just want some humble salt on there. And then we throw humble salt, and she asks for seconds. I'm not even joking. Bada bing, bada boom. So if you have a picky eater, or if you have a person that's just a huge foodie in your life.

A lot of people for Christmas, I know, got humble salt for their relatives that love grilling, love cooking. You know, I mean, you can literally put humble salt on anything and it makes it better. So President's Day is right around the corner. If you're doing stockings for President's Day, stuff those President's Day stockings with humble salt. Truly. We still haven't had our Christmas yet because of COVID. So perfect. Well, yeah, put some salt in the stocks. So, of course,, humble salt Davis that he's very gracious to us. And so he has offered a 10%, uh, promo code for us. It used to be ghost runners, but it's no

longer ghost runners. It is now. Hey mom, six letters. Hey mom. Hey mom. I'm getting more humble salt. You want some got a sponsor? Of course I want some, I use the other humble salt in like two minutes. It's incredible. Okay. Hey, Mom. Yeah. You want some more Humble Salt again? Yeah. What is it? Tuesday? Yeah, I got the other one on Thursday. I need to get some more. So. Hey, Mom. 10% off. Hey, Mom. 10% off.

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Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. I have two random things that scare me.

They're completely random, but they're things that happened to me this week. Okay, let me guess. You won't. Should I not even try? No, you should definitely try.

Think is it scare me. Um, I'll tell you if they scare me. Antimatter and, uh, cephalopods. What's, I don't know what either of those words mean.

They should scare you. Really? Are these words scaring you? They are not. Um, no, these are more just everyday things. Okay.

One of them is when you go down the stairs and you get to the bottom step, but you think there's one more step. I hate that. That is kind of scary. Because then like you kind of lunge, but there's nowhere to lunge. And so you're just like,

like you just like, like you don't fall, but you just feel kind of scared. Your knee doesn't catch yourself right. No. It's scary. You're thinking your knee is going to go farther and it doesn't. That's scary.

That's scary. Also, the inverse, when you think you're at the bottom and there's one more step, really scary. That's even worse. Truly scary. And then this one, I don't know if this is relatable to other people, but I think it's scary when you are in your car parked in a driveway, parking lot, and you're in the driver's seat.

I know exactly where you're going. And someone're in the driver's seat. I know exactly where someone just walks past you. Oh, I think that's scary. Like you don't, you don't see them coming. And then they're just, they're just right there, right at your driver's door. That's scary. Oh, that's scary. That happened to me at Chipotle the other day. I thought you were going to say when you're like about to put your car in like a, um, gear and then the car next to you starts going in reverse and it starts freaking you out. Like, driving like oh no they oh okay they're in reverse i used to do that in high school sometimes like at stoplights i would just stay at like i would like make eye contact with somebody and then i would just slowly go in reverse and they'd be like putting their putting their foot

on the step uh anyway those are two random things that's good what else is scary i think it's scary whenever it's taking me like more than six seconds to get my hoodie off and i just get so hot and like discombobulated i hate that feeling what about like if you ever like uh are swimming and you go under a raft or something oh you come up and your head hits solid like you you're like okay i've been down here long enough and i think it's time for me to come up because i need some air and then you come up and you're not you're not getting getting there yet. Yes, your uncle's in the tube. He's right above you. Yes, that's kind of scary That is scary. Yeah being in water in general is kind of scary. Yeah, what time how do you screams every time? We put her in the bath. Oh, she's like a cat. That's exactly right

She make that noise that's a cat in water. That sounds like to see a sign Miami or something Yeah, they do the the intros like wow looks like this uh olympic i don't know what i'm trying to say looks like this guy had something else to chase looks like they took the they put the pommel in pommel horse. Yeah! Yeah, exactly. That's the best. What are you talking about? Oh, scary things.

What else scares you? That's it. Those are literally the two things. Right as you've got done doing number two or number five, whatever, and then you look over and you're like, oh no. No TP. And then that moment from your eyes glancing no toilet paper to you checking the cabinet is so scary. And then it all goes away when there is toilet paper to you checking like the cabinet is so scary.

And then it all goes away when there is toilet paper in the cabinet. You're like, oh, you ever go Kleenex? No, I don't think I've ever gone Kleenex. Oh, my priority is toilet paper, Kleenex behind the bowl, then extra toilet paper. You would go Kleenex? We were just grabbing extra toilet paper? 100%. I don't stand up to wipe like you do

but still it's different paper oh it is it's better honestly I don't think it is or else they would just make it out of Kleenex material no it's more expensive and it stays together better it's probably not good for your plumbing though

don't do it often don't do it often anyway I'd probably just swab it real quick one one swab one inch good job thanks i'm thinking now when you said it's bad for the plumbing i remember being so confused back in the day you go to a public restroom and it'd say like do not flush feminine products and like what so like a like a hair curler okay why would i flush that yeah like a purse sister's comb yeah it it would never fit i think lipstick would go down why can't i flush lipstick you can't feminine products is too vague for like 11 year old boys like they have no clue what you're talking

about that's fair i mean but 11 year old boys don't usually have feminine products so just just don't mess with them i I just wish I would have known. I wish I would have known. It's very confusing. You wish you would have known at all. Yeah. That's good, man. I've been playing so much chess this week.

I don't know if I have anything additional to say other than just I've been playing so much chess. I love it. You've been doing the virtual like on the iMessage chess? I'll play on the internet. I'll play with friends. Okay. Malia, she's listening to the pod. Swerd?

Yeah, Swerd. Yeah, we got an epic game going on right now. Yeah. I'll play with friends. Okay. Malia, she's listening to the pod. Swerd? Yeah, Swerd. Yeah, we got an epic game going on right now. Yeah. I don't know how to play. Manny from college. We've been playing a lot. Oh. Day-long battles.

Really? Took me an entire afternoon to get out of check, you know? Did you get your rook to the bishop? I don't know anything. I literally don't know how to play chess. Oh, really? You don't even know? Like, I know that the queen and the king are the most important, right?

They're big boys. And the horse. That was a pretty good guess, though. You could probably just say that about. No, no, no. But I knew. I know, like, my dad taught me the rules one time, and then we never really learned. What about the prince?

There's no prince. Good job. There's a pawns. There's a lot of pawns. Pawns. And if you have, like, a good strategy for them, they call it the Ponzi scheme. That's right. If you get three other people to play chess with you it's like oh yeah yeah and if those people yeah

get three other people yeah ponzi ponzi and then the rook is the horse the um it's not oh the rook is like the one that has like the circle on top yeah yeah okay the horse is don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me peter what's the horse um't tell me. Peter! What's the horse? The horse is called the... Peter's above us doing some construction. Dang it. I don't know. It's going to kill me.

I'll figure it out. Don't tell me. Okay. Keep talking. I know the horse can go in like an L shape, right? That's about it. That's all I got for you. Seems like you know what you're doing.

Yeah, I just never actually played. Whenever you posted that, I really wanted to play with you, but I was like, I don't know how. One time, I'm just remembering this i went to take a girl on a date over the summertime at the candy cook days had this awesome date planned for us uh branson had to has those like little bitty like cars you can rent for like an hour do you ever see this like driving around the strip i think they were like a little electric little cars where they looked really fun we were gonna like rent one of those and go to dinner and all this fun stuff well let's start just like storming and raining i have no backup plan and

it's branson you know i don't know what to do and so we just go to this coffee shop while i'm like trying to figure out another plan and just played chess for like two hours and then just that was it was it fun no i had fun i guess she didn't have as much fun because we didn't hang out again oh okay sorry but uh just be careful playing chess on a first date, I would say. Have a backup plan. Have a rain condition. Contingency. Yeah.

Anything that you're too competitive at on your first date, you got to be careful on. Because she was really smart. Like, it was fun. And I wasn't, like, over-competitive. Did you beat her, though, every time? I don't remember. Let's be real. No, I don't know.

She's smart. I know you. I know you. You're a winner. You're the strongest man alive. I am the strongest man alive. Don't you ever forget it, you guys. When I get home, there better be a pro on my pros and cons list that says strongest man alive or something.

SMA. I deserve something. Okay. It's called the rook. The crook. No. What's it start with? K. Knight. Nice. Okay. No. What's it start with? K.

Knight. Nice. Okay. Okay. My bad. Let's get to some voice memos, yeah? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's do it. Hey, Jake and Brad. This is Lucy and Chandler Mann. Hey. And we're actually on family vacation right now. Hey. And I knew I had to have Chandler get on a voice memo with me because I listen to the podcast every week and I've been dying to get on an episode. And she told me that this voice memo thing was the way to go.

And I whipped out my phone to voice memo you guys, but we're now doing it the official way. You get it, Brad. And since we're in Hawaii, I was thinking my question for y'all is if you could rename any state, what would it be? And what would you rename it to? Yeah. Answer our question. We were dying to know we're on the edge of our seat.

Dying to know. Okay. Bye. Bye guys. They're dying to know. You get it, Brad. I'm flustered by that. Like I probably do that kind of stuff to people a lot where I'm like this guy, you know, you

understand. You know what I mean? I do that to to people but i'm kind of uncomfortable right now i have no idea what like that's not the official way that's got to be nonsense like she's just messing with me right well do you know chandler man not that well i mean well enough but like you know her better than i do do i i think what's her what's her real name she took my picture one time yeah she took those. Yeah, you had a little photo shoot with her. I had a little photo shoot. She lived in Dallas.

I've hung out with her five times. How many? Six. Okay. One more. See? Yeah. I still remember the day we did that photo shoot.

She was like, all right, I need you to like, we need like a laughing picture. Try to think of something that like made you laugh recently. And that was the morning that, or I think the day after Eli McDonald had had that surgery and you made that GIF of him like on drugs, like winking at the camera. And that was what I used as motivation. No way. To laugh. I still remember that.

So let's, let's put that GIF in if we can figure that out right now, Justin. Yes. That's hilarious. Right now. GIF going in. Look at that. And yeah, you would laugh at a photo shoot of that. Even if you don't know Eli. Even if you don't know E. Oh, that's great. Right now. Keep going in. Look at that. Yeah, you would laugh at a photo shoot of that, even if you don't know E. You don't know E.

Oh, that's great. This poor dude is drugged up. Isaac's older brother. Jake's little brother. Jake McDonald's little brother. Shout out, Jake. They are dying to know what we would name states. What we would name states. I mean, lob it up for me. Missouri, I would change to misery. Nice. Yeah. What would you

rename Oregon to oregon is the duck duckland duckland hey where are you from i'm from duckland where are you from and you change your accent too if you're living in oregon i'm from the duckland from from duckland what about uh rhode island little peep little peep yeah go yo where my Lil Peeps at Lil Peep and then I think maybe like New Jersey is Bo and it's like Bo and Lil Peep

they're kind of like right next to each other I like that I like that I like it'd be really cool to be from Bo Bo's a cool place

Bo's a cool name Bo's a cool guy yeah it's a cool name oh Lil Peep okay what about Idaho Idaho that's not Idaho

that's that's Boise Boise Nat Nato, Nat-nado. I just made a word up. I just made a word up. Okay, Boise, Nat-nado. Nat-nado. Okay.

It's a natural tornado because it's just like, whoa, it's a whirlwind of fun times in Idaho. Holy cow. This is crazy up here. I love this place. What would you call the great state of Alabama oh swamp I would call it swamp

would you call it swamp or would you call it oh oh okay swamp and you'll be saved but you say it really proper people are explaining I'm from the swamp and like, I'm from the swamp.

And you say, I come from the swamp. I hail from Montgomery Swamp. Exactly. What would you rename California? Kobe Land. Kobe Land. Yo, what up? It's us from Kobe Land.

I'm the governor of Kobe Land. And whatever I say goes. I'll be back. Hasta la vista, Kobe. You're impersonating Gavin Newsom, right? That's him? That's the guy. Yeah, yeah.

He talks in a funny voice like that. That's why they elected him. Absolutely. Governor of California. Okay, one more. You would rename the state of New Jersey. Where are you talking about this? Bo.

Oh, I thought that was Rhode Island. I literally just said that. Yeah, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania. I said New Jersey. Oh, you did? Frick. Okay, what would you name Ohio? We got a lot of Ohio friends here.

Ohio? That's, hey. That's not Ohio. That's, that's. Oh, we go. Oh, hey. Oh, we go. Oh, we go.

I like it. Columbus, oh, we go. Good. I don't know. No, it's great. You nailed it. I'm trying to be goofy. Oh, we go.

Okay. Well, I hope that helps. Just a kid from Akron, oh, we go. Akron, oh, we go. That's it. Okay. Next. Next one.

I hope that helped. Hey, Jake and Brad. This is Keely. Hold on. What was like a PSA like in the background at first? I heard like a, hey, and then I heard like elevator music. A little piano, yeah. See if I can go back to the start of that.

Hey, Jake and Brad, this is Keely from Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'm calling first of all because your merch site is down and I was hoping to look at the merchandise because we have a six month old daughter that my husband just thinks has to have a ghost runners podcast onesie. And I'm curious if you have one of those. Um, but just a shout out for my husband, David, who's obsessed with you guys. Uh, we get in the

car every time and he starts putting your podcast on and I pretty much immediately say no. And then it kind of grows on me like a really, really corny old song. And then I don't make him change it. I also can't tell either of you apart. Your voices sound the exact same to me.

And so every two seconds I'm like, oh, is that Jake or is that Brad? And he laughs his head off. So anyways, just curious if you're going to get baby merch. I think it'd be a really good idea. Thank you. Oh, Keely. Yeah.

Oh, Keely. Where do you even start with that? Okay, guys. So here's the deal. First of all, your website is broken. I don't know what's going on with your website, but I want a very specific piece of merchandise. Only certain humans of a very specific size can order. Also, what's the big deal with this podcast?

Every time my husband turns on the car, every time he puts it on and I say, no, please stop. What's the deal with these guys? I can't even tell you guys apart. I don't even know who I'm talking to. Who are you guys? Also,

like, you're like a corny song. You're like a corny old song that just grows on you because your husband has perseverance. You're like waves of mercy. Seriously, just get the onesie merch.

Who are you? Well, thanks, Keely. Keely, Keely, I'll say this. That was crazy. Please,

please leave us a voice memo next week if you don't like listening to us but you just do anyway because that's kind of fun to hear um no that's that she she redeemed it i don't know whatever not for me uh keely if you want to order uh merch for your six month old i would recommend ordering it uh three to four months up in age probably uh because by time you get your onesie, that baby is going to be 10 months old. That's kind of how we do things around here. That's how we don't try to do things, but that's how it happens. What else? If you want to do onesie merch, start a GoFundMe.

We'll post a link to it. If there's enough people that commit to to it then we'll make an order but we can't just like uh i i don't know how many people we have with babies that want our merch we haven't heard we haven't heard that from babies we haven't if you have a baby out there that wants to send in a voice memo have them hit us up directly yeah um that is awesome that you and your husband are like wanting a merch from us Absolutely. But yeah, sorry. The website is down basically because I'm kind of lazy. You know, we're not selling merch right now.

So I didn't think anyone would go to the website. But I guess people are. And there's nothing there because we're not selling anything. Yeah, it's basically just a merch website. There's literally nothing else on there worth reading. There's nothing else to see if we're not selling merch. Right. So we don't.

That's why. So if you go to it, it's not because it's a mistake. It's like, no, Jake intentionally. We're just not selling merch right so we don't that's that's why so so if you go to it it's not because it's a mistake it's like no jake intentionally we're just not selling merch right now yeah uh ecc i think we're gonna sell some merch sometime yeah i think so i think yeah we're gonna do that soon so be on the lookout for that get some more ecc shirts ecc shirts coming back what if we oh idea cuz we do custom shirts that instead of saying Ellis Custom Creation, like just for the onesies or just for the children's clothing, it says like their last name, Custom Creation. That's kind of fun.

Yeah. Like Keely's Custom Creations. Yes. Yeah. But not Keely. We'll put her husband's name because he actually likes us. That's fun. I want to order some merch from you guys, but your merch is just like an old, old like

linen, you know, sock. Yeah. You just, you have around. Yeah. It just grows on you and you don't want to throw it away. Right. But you do anyway, because it's old and it's corny. I have corns in my feet is what I'm saying.

I have corn, corn bunions. Oh man. I thought that was so funny. Yeah. I just don't really like it. I'm not really excited about it, but. Every time my husband puts you guys on, I say, no, I do low key love like the stories of people that are like, I really liked it. I tried to get my husband to listen to it or tried to, especially when they're husbands, I get excited when they're like, try to get my husband

to listen to it. He didn't like it at first. Now he's really enjoying it. Like for some reason that like that, that, that to me is a harder barrier of entry. If somebody like that doesn't have any kind of credibility with us before. And then all of a sudden they're like, okay, these guys are actually kind of fun to listen to. So, um, anyway, Keely, um, just gonna assume, Hey, thanks for being a good sport about that. Yeah. Yeah. Jake's just being lighthearted. If you, if you don't know, uh, that was Jake, by the way, if you don't know the difference between us, I say,

I don't know. After every joke I make and Jake, I say rural, I can't say rural. And I say, you know, a lot, you know,

when I listen to it back, I'm like, stop saying, you know, really? Yeah. It's like a filler word for me, which is better than,

um, or, uh, which I also say there's a lot too. Sure. Like, you know, like,

uh, Oh, I see. Like I start a sentence with, you know, yeah, he's got to let it flow. This is just's just it's just conversation people talking one time after i think it was after the live stream i did in nashville the live stream comedy show some uh older woman she's really

nice and polite but she was like jake i i noticed a lot of filler words in your set a lot of uhs a lot of ums i would recommend taking a taste what's it called toastmasters really a toastmasters course and correcting that if you really want to be a stand-up comedian and i was like that was like thoughtful of you i guess i was like but most that i wrote i told talk about this podcast like most of it i wrote that afternoon or that week like i was trying to memorize it you know most of my other stand-up stuff is not interesting i i don't think I noticed that. Maybe if I go back and watch standup comedians, they don't ever say that kind of stuff. But some people literally say, uh, as like a, like the punchline of their joke.

Like that's how they like, yeah. You know, separate two different jokes or something like Nate Bargetti. Yeah. He does Conan O'Brien. Like people that are very famous do it. Yeah. So you can say, um, if you want Jake, I didn't message her back or take a Toastmasters class. Oh, this was a message.

I thought this was like she came up and like talked to you directly and said that. No, it was like it's a weird part of Facebook where it's people who aren't friends with you can message you. Like every time I go on there, I'm like, whoa, like six messages. Oh, from like the request and you never see them. Yeah, right. It's hard to find. That's really. Yeah, it's very hard to find.

Like if you are over 62 years old, go try to find your message request right now. Oh, over 40, they can't find it. AF? Yes, after 40. Tough AF. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to put on another voice memo, and in the meantime, I'm going to try to find

my message request, see if there's anything there. Okay. So, here we go. What's up, Jake and Brad, Brad and Jake? It's Isaac here, hitting you up with a voice memo. And today, I wanted to talk about somebody I know that doesn't like dessert. You guys asked for it in the last episode. So here you go. My preacher, we've had him over to our house to eat lots of times and we've been over to his house and he doesn't eat dessert. And I asked him why he doesn't one day and he

literally straight up told me he just doesn't like sweets or dessert. And I've never seen him eat it, and he doesn't eat it at all. And I don't understand, but I'll let him do him. And so my question for you guys today is, what is your favorite Office episode in Season 1 and Season 2? And I'm only asking for those two seasons because my mom will buy Peacock, and I can't watch any other seasons. So I just want to hear if you guys had a favorite episode there. All right. Hope you all have a good day. Thanks for the podcast. Peace. Thanks for the voicemail, dude. Isaac. Great question. And thanks for

following up on a non-dessert guy. I still don't buy it. Still don't blame it. Yeah. It's like, I believe that you don't eat it because you're good and disciplined, but you like it. Sweets are sweet. They're so good. Literally. They're called sweets. They're so sweet. Uh, favorite office episodes.

Your favorite one of all time. Season one, right? Diversity day. Yeah. Season two though. Full just it's full heaters. It's all good. I mean, watch every episode.

Genuinely like diversity. Oh no. Diversity. The yeah. What a performance review the fire um the one where michael burns his foot that one's amazing injury yeah yeah the injury that's a great season two what else i mean there's so many the dundies christmas party one of my favorites yeah christmas party is the first one i think i ever downloaded on my ipod touch or ipod video if you like basketball there's a basketball episode season one.

That's pretty funny. Yeah. Literally like every episode in season one and two, I would recommend to people drug testing, conflict resolution. Did I say that one already? Um, yeah, the client, the one where he hooked, well, don't want to spoil it for you 15 years later, but the client's good. They're all, they're all perfect.

Halloween when he goes quiet you so funny i think the pilot's really good if you go back and watch a pilot you're like whoa the very first episode of this like had a lot of good jokes sure good for them no wonder absolutely jamie kennedy experiment experiment very in office olympics i mean yeah i found some go on forever baby baby. Message request. You did. One from Shelby a few months ago. November 18th. I don't know where I was November 18th. I wanted to get a picture with you tonight, but the doorman was so rude.

You did great. 10 out of 10 recommend. Will you respond right now, please? I don't know what she's recommending. Another message. She would recommend you. She would recommend me to me. I would recommend you. She's saying, I'm going to recommend you to 10 other people.

Oh, okay. Well, 10 over 10, so one person. Okay. Whole number would be one. Yeah. Okay, good for Shelby. Then a follow-up message the next morning. Will you be in Michigan anytime?

No. Oh, so maybe it was a virtual one. I don't know. I don't know where I was on November 18th. Okay. Thanks, Shelby. Here's another one from Joshua. Sorry, I'm just know where I was on November 18th. Okay. Thanks, Shelby. Here's another one from Joshua. Sorry, I'm just not seeing this.

Hey, just curious. How do I send content to be used on Ghostrunners? Oh. Great pod, by the way. Natural talent. Natch. Thank you. I don't know what kind of content you're thinking of, Joshua,

but we've got an Instagram that you can DM us at. We've got an email, theghostrunnerspodcast.gmail.com. We've got a website. We have a website where you can DM us at. We've got an email, theghostrunnerspodcast.gmail.com. We've got a website. We have a website where you can buy onesies. We've got, you know, you can send in voice memos through the link in our description. I'd say those are the three main ways. Yep. Leave us a five-star review.

Five-star review on apples. Apples. Apples to apples. Apples.Owego.gov. That was funny to me. That was good. Let's see if there's any good. Oh, wait.

Hold on. Well, the first message I saw says, please do not make fun of this on one of your shows or the Brad Jake podcast. But so now I'm trying to read the previous. Thanks for saying Brad first. Yeah, the Brad Jake podcast. It looks like she was trying to get tickets to something for her daughters but doesn't want me to make fun of her okay don't brad don't make fun of her for when you get tickets for her daughter i wasn't stop this is the brad jake podcast you're right

it's brad jake podcast nice i like that should we rename brad jake progress the brad brad slash jake podcast is what you call it over jake which is like two over one yeah size wise dang there's a lot of good stuff up in here i i'm not gonna keep reading it but really i need to check this more yeah patron patron All right. Another voice memo. Let's do it. Hi, Jake and Brad. My name's Hannah, and I'm a first-time caller here. First of all, Jake, from one laptop owner to another, I'm so sorry for your loss. Laptop owner.

But it got me thinking. You deserve a person or a laptop owner. You guys said you thought that maybe the crime would have been solved had it been something bigger like a car. And let me just tell you, you would think. My dad one time got a 40 foot long car trailer stolen. We had it on film. They knew who the guy was. And we pretty much got told the same exact thing you guys got told, which is that they couldn't really do anything about it because they couldn't 100% prove that it was true. So I guess my question for you guys is, knowing what you know

now, what do you think is the craziest crime that you could commit and get away with? Thanks guys. Love the podcast. Dude. Frick that. That sucks. I've been looking at trailers actually.

Cause whenever I delivered that piece to Avery Cohen down in Texas, I was like, maybe I should just buy a trailer and do this all the time. And yeah, trailers are really expensive. Like a 40 foot one. I was trying to get like a 10 foot one and it was like, maybe I should just buy a trailer and do this all the time. And yeah, trailers are really expensive. A 40-foot one? That's massive. I was trying to get a 10-foot one and it was like $3,000, $4,000 for a trailer. Multiply that. That's really expensive.

40 feet. That's one of those that can probably transport like 12 cars, huh? Yeah. I'm like, why? At that point, I would be like, please do all the testing. Like, swab. I want you to swab every one inch. Every inch possible.

Like, be like, you need forensics to come in there at this point. Yes. Like, I know it's just a 40-foot trailer, you know, but to me, that thing is a lot of money, and I need it. Yes. Like, yeah. And I, like, Horatio Cain from CSI Miami needs to come. Like, we were talking about that.

Yeah! Yeah. What would he say if he saw the trailer being stolen? He'd be like. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me get something ready. You think of what you're going to say? All right, all right.

You got it? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hannah would be like, I just can't catch a break. And he'll go, don't worry. We'll catch him for you. What do you think about that? I think that's what he would say.

You need the actual sunglasses, though, you know, to really, like, complete the set. Oh, no, no. Oh, we got some. I mean, those are kind of like sunglasses. Perfect. The studio, guys, you know.

Our website may be down and we may not sell onesies, but we have Sunglasses in here ready to go Oh, oh, I got one you got it. Okay, Hannah. They may have taken the trailer But we've got the feature film. We have the feature film. Wait, look at that. Huh? Okay, okay. You do it, you do it.

Let me try, let me try. Well, the trailer's gone. Looks like in more ways than one. The wheels are falling off. Alright, your turn. off. This one I'm like bending down looking at it. Right. OK. So I'm like.

It's a good thing we haven't eaten much today. Because we got to go fast. That was so dumb. That was awesome! We gotta go fast! We gotta go fast! We gotta go fast! And then you drop the music! Okay, okay. Oh man.

Oh, I'm gonna need a little dialogue from you here, Brett. Okay, okay, okay. Yep, I'm positive need a little dialogue from you here, bro. Okay, okay, okay. Yep. I'm positive a woman stole this. Really? Yeah. So now we need to trail her. Oh! Yeah!

Yeah! You did great with your lines. Uh, let's see. Looks like the good old Hitler and run. Let's hope this thief... ...is an anti-Semite. What? I don't think you've seen CSI Miami.

Yes, I have. Hooray show. He puts them on. You've written too many children's book jokes. What would a trailer-stealing German say after he stole it? Hidden? I don't know. All right, let me try that.

Oh, you got another one? Sure, you do. You think they hitched it up to an RV? Looks like someone's trying to get their wheel estate license for free. Come on! come on i don't even know how to follow up okay um just keep going oh sorry i don't put those on yet hey we better get on this thing quick before they scrap it for parts and it becomes

trailer trash. Solve this the only way I know how. Jesse Pinkman and the Scientific Meth Head. I don't know. They're close enough. They're close enough that the music makes it funny. I guarantee you. I guarantee you.

No, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. Oh. I just. These are so different than the way I was thinking about these one-liners. You think... forty foot trailer, that's pretty big. Oh, it's a farm trailer? You think...

Yeah. You think it's big enough to fit some donkeys? Because we're about to haul ass. bleep it out bleep it out bleep it out good stuff my goodness okay so

justice always prevails truth My goodness. Okay, so... Justice always prevails. Truth. Be towed. I didn't know if you were done yet. I was like, hit it! Play it! Sound guy had a little trouble there.

That's it. That's the end of the line. Cue the music! It's like truth be told, but towed. Like you tow a trailer. Oh, man. Oh, this is good stuff. That's good times. That's good times.

Y'all done? I think so. We'll come back to it later. I'll think. I'll be. Yeah, maybe I'll think. I'll keep this YouTube video up. What a what a great like drop like the yeah, like we should go back and look at what Horatio actually said sometime and just be like, my gosh, what a boss.

I don't even know what song is that? It's the who won't get fooled again. Oh, OK. But it's like at the very it's like an eight minute long song. It's a really cool song. And it like really builds up with like these cool like drums and stuff and then finally it just like the levy breaks and it just goes yeah oh it's a great song check it out yeah i just typed in yeah csi miami and the video title is just yeah it all caps so it didn't help me a

lot perfect that's great okay but hannah, what's the craziest crime you would commit? First thing that comes to mind would be becoming a politician. Hey-o! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Had to. Just kidding. I think just the idea of squatters' rights is really interesting to me. You can just hang out somewhere, and then eventually it's your property

if no one else says anything. Is that how it works? What? I don't really know what squatters rights is, to be honest. But I think that's kind of how it works. You brought it up. I know I did.

She asked us a voice, but I didn't think about it. Squatters right? Like, I think like if we just sit down here in this podcast studio long enough and Peter never comes. Like no one has fixed us in time. Then it's ours.

I think so. Let me look it up real quick. I would love to squat more. My idea would be, I mean, there's a lot of things that would be exhilarating or fun, but I just, as long as I have any kind of moral compass, like I can't see myself doing any of this. It's kind of hard to steal anything like, like maybe from like a big corporation. Like I want to go take one of Walmart's, I don't know.

Do they sell boats? They don't sell boats, but like, it'd be kind of fun to like steal a boat from a billion dollar company. Yeah. You know, even just like Walmart self checkout, that feels like stealing that already is where it's like, Hey, uh, this is too big to bag too big to bag. I don't want to bag it. I don't want to.

You have to get somebody has to come look at it. I'm not stealing. How long do you have to squat in a house? Squatters or adverse possessors reside in a home without any legal title claim or official right to adverse possession laws by state, but most require the squatter to live in the home continuously for anywhere between five and 30 years. Okay. That's a long time.

You got to really like that house. I don't know if I'm committed to this podcast for 30 years. Just for this studio? No. We can find another studio. So they do have rights, but someone has to not know that they're there for at least five years.

That's crazy. That's an interesting law, though. Yeah, I'm sure I'm very much glossing over lots of things but i think the only thing comes to mind that i could do without like really harming people or something i don't know would be like being like a skeevy financial advisor like i take six months to learn how to like really like make people money and then i use my my wit and my charm and my strongest man alive credibility that I've achieved to earn people's trust And then I take their money and I do earn them money

But they also like I'm also like taking a rake for myself that they don't know about I see and I'm able to justify it Cuz I'm like well, I still made them $3,000, but I took 1500. Yeah, that makes sense. That would probably the crime I commit yeah, very very noble of you. Is it? No. It's still a crime. But it's... Maybe we go Robin Hood. We steal from the rich, give to the poor. That would be fun.

You get all your money and then you give it to Samaritan's Purse. That would... I could justify that. Yeah. That's good. Oh, can you imagine

the adrenaline rush of being a criminal? That'd be awesome. You think so? I think it would be. Yeah? Just like breaking into something and stealing it

and like having to get away. Oh, that'd be awesome. Well, not awesome, but like that would be. Yeah. Just like breaking into something and stealing it and like having to get away. Oh, that'd be awesome. Well, not awesome, but like that would be. The feeling of the rush would be an exhilarating feeling. I see what you're saying. But then the metaphorical looking over your shoulder for the next 15 years would not be that fun. Like that girl in Raytown is looking over her shoulder every day because of you.

Yes. And I'm looking back at her in those pants out of this world space station space station uh i have one okay for what for the the the situation again okay it's horatio style you ready yeah um he's like looking over like like hannah and her dad are like so like distressed and disheveled about this like Like, oh, don't worry. We'll find some evidence somewhere. Nothing like this goes over without a hitch. That was good. That was a good one?

That one made more sense. Yeah, you get it. Without a hitch. Trailers have hitches. Yeah. My hitches. Where are my hitches at? Yeah. That's the first thing her dad said when he walked outside.

Hey, where are my hitches at? And he was going to, because he was going to water down the trailer. He's like, where are my hitches and hoes? I was going to water this down. Yeah, where's my hoes? Where are my hitches? Yeah. I assume.

I assume. All right, next voice memo from Corey. Hey, Jake and Brad. Hi. Corey from Pennsylvania. Hi. voice memo from uh cory hey jake and brad cory from pennsylvania um hi got a question for you run your opinion on something that pardon my french but it kind of peeves me whoa so we bought a house recently and they're inside it there is wallpaper almost everywhere jan almost everywhere it was in the closets on the ceilings it was an old woman that lived there and if i would get to meet her i'd probably tell her hey stink you and so john painted the took us to to get off and as we're doing this my wife and i are thinking like hey what's gonna be like the

wallpaper of our generation where the next homeowner is like why did they do this uh they're gonna tell me stink you so our thought was it was going to be painting brick fireplaces. Everyone's doing that now. It looks really cool. You paint it white, black. But how the heck do you get paint off a brick nicely? I don't think you do. And they're going to be like, why did they do this?

So what is that thing of our generation? Love the podcast. On your feet. I've never heard the phrase pain in the tuchus before and that made me laugh hard. I'm going to start saying that more often. It's a giant pain in the tuchus. It really like

rolls off the tongue. It's been proven that the K sound, like the hard cake is like the funniest sound. Oh really? So if you like writing jokes and you have the option of saying like, you know, this or that, if you can get like a CK sound or a K sound, it's funnier. Okay. Huh.

That's why it took us. That's why it took us. Made me laugh so hard. Yeah. I feel like I'd really get along with that dude. I've never heard of him before. Yeah. Never seen a DM from him or anything, but what a guy.

Corey. First of all, I totally agree. Like both of our, we have two Fireplace Star House. Both of them are painted now. They weren't when we moved in, but Catherine wanted to paint both of them. And yeah, it's like, you can't go back. Like you can't, that that's a business idea. If anybody has a, if anybody's like an entrepreneurial spirit out there, figure out a product or like either like a chemical solvent or like just a tool that can remove paint from brick quickly. And well,

I think you can make a lot of money in the next 20 years. Because I think he's absolutely right. Is it that tough? What if you power wash it? Obviously, water is going to get everywhere. But maybe. That seems like one of the only things. But I think power washing, I don't know.

I haven't power washed that much in my life. But can you power wash pretty broadly? I feel like power washing is like very like detailed stuff. I think you would have to be to get like, you know, bricks. I know a little bit of both. I think you have to, but if you do a detail, it's going to take forever. Yeah.

If you can get like a chemical on there, like, like a chemical stripper and it just comes off after a wipe down. Chemical stripper. Yeah. Okay. So I think, first of all, I think he nailed it as far as the question. You probably don't think this way, but I have had that thought a little bit, especially with wallpaper. Wallpaper is truly awful to get off to the point where like, I was talking to Peter the other day and he's like,

dude, you should just do new drywall if you need to take wallpaper off that much. So Corey, I know it's too late now, but someday think about just doing drywall because it's cheap. I think there's not many things that are better answers in the fireplace. I think a lot of people these days are putting their laundry in their master closet. Like, and I don't know if that's a good idea. I, like I said, I can't think of anything like super good, but I think this might be the answer because someday my, maybe it's annoying to have that. Like, I think sometimes when I walk inside and I have like really muddy shoes or muddy clothes or something, like, I don't want to walk. Like if your master's upstairs, cause that's a lot of times why they

put it in the masters. Cause it's like, Oh, that way we don't have to go downstairs to like do my laundry. I don't know. I think that could be kind of frustrating to people in the future. You know, the, the laundry machine, the washing machines going while you're trying to sleep or something. I don't know, though. I have nothing to contribute, but I'm just going to say some stuff. Having a non-transparent roof in the future is going to be like a clear roof. Oh, really?

And you can always like it's UV protection. It's not gonna be super sunny all the time, but you can like see the clouds all the time. Oh, that's fun. Like, man, remember, we used to not be able to see the clouds oh i see see i think he was asking more like what are people going to be like cursing us for like improving our house by doing xyz you know i'm trying my best i don't know anything about this what about what about uh like open concept have you heard that phrase yeah i like open concept exactly i think people right now it's the it's the craze maybe sadly enough, maybe the technology out there is going to be like, oh, you know, everyone's just wanting to be on their own phone in their own space. And then open concept all of a sudden is

like, oh, I just can't, I can't get up, get away from my family. I hope that's not the case. I hope people are always wanting to, like I said, I don't think there's very many things that are obvious right now to us because we're doing what we think is right as consumers, but said i don't think there's very many things that are obvious right now to us because we're doing what we think is right as consumers but i just don't think about good housing you'll get there i'll get there yeah someday yeah all right let's keep moving hello jake and brad my name is page wickfield i teach music about 45 minutes south of springfield so pretty close to you guys kansas city missouri is one of my favorite places. And I really, really enjoy your guys' podcast. You guys said to call in if we were not really a dessert person. And I feel like I fit that bill because I don't really like many

dessert foods or any dessert foods, really. I'll eat them for people's birthdays or if they make them specially for me so that they don't feel bad. But I would always rather have something crunchy and salty. A few things. So in the last episode, Brad said that Christopher Nolan was overrated. And I had such a violent reaction that I had to message you guys that we're cool now. But you guys need to watch Tenet, his most recent movie, because it's phenomenal. I give a review after you've seen it. My question is, if you had to teach

something what would you teach and what age would you teach really enjoy the podcast have a good week bye-bye like teach something at school or just anything anything i guess i was thinking yeah like teach like an e-course on yeah sure jump roping sure that wouldn't be my answer i roasted this girl she goes, she messaged us on Instagram this week and she's like, Oh yeah, Christopher Nolan's so good. And then said all this stuff. And I was like, I know I'm so sorry, whatever. I didn't really know what I was talking about. And she's like, also nine in the afternoon is a really great song. Bless you. Excuse me. Uh, and I just said, spoken like a true Christopher Nolan fan. Boom. I roaster. I would teach woodworking.

I really enjoy it. It's been fun. I've made some friendships from people on the podcast, actually, that have woodworking questions and will message me. And it's just really fun to teach people something that you've kind of learned recently. And obviously I have expertise in, but I learned it later on in life. Therefore, I remember what it's like to not know very much. And so it's really fun to like teach somebody

while like having expertise, but also being patient enough to be like, dude, I know exactly how you feel. So, you know what I mean? So. And people want that. They want someone who's like done it and knows exactly what they're going through.

Yeah. That's great. I think I would teach high school math. That's something I've thought about and wanted to do for a long time. I've always said, I don't know what I'm going to do with my career, but at age 50, I'm going to stop doing that. I'm going to go back and I'm going to teach high school math. That's something I've thought about and wanted to do for a long time. I've always said, I don't know what I'm going to do with my career, but at age 50, I'm going to stop doing that.

I'm going to go back and I'm going to coach high school football and teach math. I said that for a while. I don't know if I'll end up doing it, but that's still the plan. I like it. I think it sounds fun. What? So high school math, like what specific, can you think of like trigonometry versus calculus versus algebra?

I don't think I care too much. I just want to work with high schoolers. And I thought algebra was so fun. Algebra was nice. Yeah. Calculus kicked my butt. I don't think I care too much. I just want to work with high schoolers. I thought algebra was so fun. Algebra was nice. Yeah, calculus kicked my butt. I struggled. Kicked my tuchus. Thank you.

It was a pain in my tuchus. It's a giant pain in the tuchus. Oh, shoot. That's good. I just got a text message, not to brag, just now from my friend Kyle. He said, I just listened to an episode and noticed you still struggle with the word rural.

Try this. Say the name Earl, but with an R at the beginning. Hope that helps. Rural? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Rural? Yes.

That's not rural. Yes, it is. That's only rural? Yes. No. Yes, you're saying it perfect. There's no way that could be perfect. Stop it.

Accept it. That is exactly how you say there is constant vowel constant vowel constant There's got to be like two distinct syllables in there No, but listen or like Earl is like basically like two syllables No cuz squirrel is the longest word in the English dictionary with only one syllable squirrels actually kind of here like a difference between the R and the whole Squir you don't just say squirrels. I guess you kind of do, but like by saying the squir and then the l, you have to kind of make a little noise in between. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. I guess maybe that's how you say squirrel too. Squirrel.

Squirrel. So r-l is kind of the same thing. Like r-l. R-l. R-l. You kind of bounce when you say it. Rural. Ayo, what up? Rural. Huh. Huh. Rural. Rural. So that's how you say it. Really?

Yeah. Rural? Yes. That's perfect. That doesn't seem right. I mean, you can, I guess, do a little bit more in between R and the L. Rural. Rural.

Rural. So like saying Rural, but with maybe two R's. Sure. Or like an extra L on there. Like spend a little more time at the L. Rural. Rural. Rural. It's like saying Earl, but with maybe two R's. Sure. Or like an extra L on there. Like spend a little more time at the end. Rural. That's perfect. I nailed it?

Yes, dude. Thank you, Kyle. Kyle. Wow. Breakthrough on the pod. Yeah. That's awesome. Rural.

Rural. Yeah. Squirrel. Squirrels. Squirrels. Rural. Earl sells squirrel shells by the squirrel shore nice you never could do that before i always try that you always struggled every single day i'd say how have you been practicing earl squirrels i still don't have it i still don't have it are you

practicing your squirrel shore practice your squirrel shore you can't teach algebra and you're saying ums and uhs too much into squirrels roars. Why are you using your phone? You need to go out to Squirrel, Missouri and get off that thing where there's no service. I don't even think I'm going to text Kyle back. I'm just going to wait for him to hear this episode come out. Kyle, this is your text back. Thank you. That's great.

Huge breakthrough. Yeah. You're the man. Okay. Let's do two more. Hey, Brad. Hey, Jake. This is Cole from Indiana. okay let's do uh two more hey brad hey jake this is cole hey brad indiana so originally my girlfriend dm'd you guys before last week's episode episode 88 trying to get you to wish me a happy birthday on the pod unfortunately my name was lost forever and my girlfriend's username

instead was stated along with the dozens of other names. I don't know if it was dozens. This is unfortunate. I know. I forgive you. No apology necessary. I forgive you, but don't apologize. But happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday. I do have a question, though. So referring to beanbag toss or cornhole or bags, whatever you like to call it, my friends are in a intramural league and they're looking for a name for this upcoming semester. So last year they had a pretty basic name, cornhole Sanders. Everybody else had basic names too. So see if you can come up with something creative.

Bye bye. Hey Colin. Hey Colin. Hey Colin. What's up Colin? Dang. I feel like my, my brain is not on point

enough today for all these like all the trailer jokes and all these i'm gonna try my best but i amazon really it it got you something i don't know i don't feel maybe well or getting stuck they put something up there or they just moved around the abdullah langada and you can't and now i'm not as angry as i used to be. That's probably it. Yeah. That's it. That's it. It's Squirrel Shore. That's what you get for going to a Sears.

That's so funny. Think about that abandoned warehouse that's just like, hello, let me stick this up your nose. One inch. One inch, my... Took us. Took us. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so rec or like intramural team names for cornhole.

Can I do a quick rant on cornhole? Every once in a while I play with people that don't make you hit 21 exactly. Oh. And that's ridiculous. That's like a large part of the whole strategy. That's what makes it so fun. Yeah. Is that you can bust and you can go down to 15.

And it's like, there's people out there that are just like, well, whoever gets to 21 first or above. And I'm like, no. Okay. Hole in fun. there that just like well whoever gets to 21 first or above and i'm like no um okay um hole in hole and fun corn hole and fun hole fun okay um paper paper or plastics because either way they're bags oh bags what about uh let's touch some beans i don't know that's it no we're done what about the cornhole the corn supremacy that's pretty good that's not bad corn supremacy yeah that's good yeah wait say it say it not bad. The corn supremacy. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

Wait, say it. Say it one more time. The corn supremacy. I love, I love everything. Sounds like that. Um,

okay. This one, you have one, go for it. This one, you have to commit a little more to a style of look, kind of like Business Casual did. Sure.

The Legends in Baggy Pants. The Legends. But you just wear like really baggy, like Allen Iverson, like, you know. 2004. Yeah. Clothing. Yeah. Legends in Baggy Pants.

That's pretty good. Bagger Vance, you know. Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. He was a cornhole player, I think. Legends of Baggy Pants. That's pretty good. Bagger Vance, you know. Yeah, yeah. He was a cornhole player, I think. I've never seen the movie. I think on his come up before he got into golf, he played a cornhole. Helped him. Bags. Corn.

What do we got? You all dress like the horses in chess and call yourselves Cornholy Knights. That's it. What if it's just a really long team name? It's just, it describes your strategy. Yeah. We plan on getting our bags into the hole to score exactly 21 points before

you do. They have to make it like super small font on the bracket like to but it still fits they didn't they didn't just put like the ellipses on there they actually fit the whole thing so good luck or just you go back to like second grade baseball just called the bombers i love that great team name slammers slammers sluggers the sluggers that's my team name. The Slammers. Slammers. Sluggers. The Sluggers. That was my team name. Yeah. Tigers. Can't go wrong with Tigers. Orioles.

Orioles. Yeah. Orioles were our nemesis. We're just something kind of weird. Just a cheesy Baconator. Everyone's like, what's that? What's that have to do with anything? I don't know. What did you say?

Something pods? Erythropods? Cephalopods. Cephalopods. Cephalopods. Let's be the Cephalopods. You get it? And they'll be like, no.

You'll be like. You'll see. Kind of like whatever Chandler said. Like Brad knows what. Brad getsods. Cephalopods. Cephalopods. Must be the cephalopods. You get it? And they'll be like, no. You'll see. Kind of like whatever Chandler said. Like, Brad knows what... Brad gets it. Brad, you get it. Yeah. I'm going to do this the official way, Brad. You get it.

You get it. This guy knows what I'm talking about. This guy knows. Yeah. Okay, Brad, would you like to end this episode with reviews of the week? Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay, mine is...

The title of it is called Pride and Prejudice. It's from an account called Feline Our Friends Dude we got so many good reviews this week So we got plenty to choose from Let me find mine If anyone is familiar with the classic romance novel Pride and Prejudice You would know that the story follows Miss Bennett and Mr. Darcy Both of whom are extremely prideful

And hold prejudices against each other Such is the case with me and the lovely Lovely Ghost Hunters Podcast My brother has been listening for a long time and was always complaining about how none of us understood his inside jokes i scoffed at the idea that two midwest best friends could be that funny that he would walk around the house giggling each day without being able to explain to any of us why he was laughing one day on a whim i gave it a try and i fell in love never have days flown by so fast when i sit and listen to five episodes of the ghost runners oh i'm trying to finish them all and

each time i piece together an inside joke i'm thrilled to finally be understanding what is going on overall i give this podcast five stars because it is a hoot and a half and that's freaking true nice job jake and brad you guys are the best bye bye i love that that was awesome it's very well written hoot and a half feline our friends thank you for the review i'm glad you and your bro. I appreciate the pod. What was her name? Feline or Friends. This one's from Miss Joy Post. Great show. Not about ghosts. LOL. Do you think she laughed?

Not about ghosts. So I came here from listening to the Do Less God Bless podcast. Do Less God Bless podcast. Five star rate and review. It was ending, but I still wanted to hear some good convos. I knew Jake had another podcast, but I didn't know anything about it other than his name, which made me think that maybe it was about ghost stories or scary

things or something just not interesting to me. But what I found was that it's just two desi dudes having a good, interesting conversation. And as much as I love Trey, the chemistry between Jake and Brad is so much better. Woo! We did it. The conversations seem to flow better and it's a more comfortable feeling. I love it.

Also, as a Christian, I appreciate that it's clean and that Christian thoughts aren't kept secret. Christianity doesn't have to be blasted, but we don't have to be ashamed to talk about it or joke about it or mention it either, and I appreciate that. So I've started back from the beginning and I'm going to enjoy the ride. Thank you for keeping my company in my car and kitchen.

Thank you, Miss Joy. Joy! Joy! Okay. going to enjoy the ride thank you for keeping my company in my car and kitchen thank you miss joy okay um i went to get on youtube for our uh jingle and then i clicked on that and said okay i'm worried about the jingle guys brad's all worried about the jingle it's a good song that everyone knows and i don't know it brad is pretty up to my ear with like one of the biggest songs of 2020. One of the biggest songs of a long time probably. Yeah. I mean it's the king of our generation singing it

so it makes sense. You're right. Justice Beaver. See you get it. I got it. I've always got it. Brad would you like to end this episode with a jingle? Yeah. Here I go. Let me pull it up real fast. Sorry. This is from the same person that wrote last week's, Heather Lee. Coming in the jingle game hot.

Yeah, keep them coming. Keep them coming, Heather Lee. Although I'm bummed this song has a rap part in it, and she didn't give me a rap part. She'll get there. This is where I thrive. Do you want to just improvise? We'll see how I'm feeling. Today's not...

I feel like I've been off today. I'm sorry ghosties I don't know No no no Give it a little shake A little shimmy Alright you ready? Yeah

Put the king hat on Justin Hey Just drinks you don't need, no burger. Soda's only two liter, Dr. Pepper. Beverages get all our attention. Yeah, these are the Ghostrunner inventions. Staying home, waking up just out of bed.

Or at Walmart, safer Crocs, the sign read. Make sure that hashtag CrocsPod gets a mention. Yeah, these are the Ghostrunner inventions. Shout out to Jake and Brad for making moves. On your feet, Brad sings all our write-up tunes. And Jake raps, we're all amused. That's shelf improve, it gets the views. Now everybody say poultry instead of beef.

Double trap, babe, and review new every week. You make it easy to choose. No other podcast got a Brad Deuce. Hey, just drinks. You don't need no burger. Complementary straw with your order. Beverages have all our attention. Yeah, these are ghost runner inventions in the grass foot race heel strap secure brad versus jake in a 400 meter make sure that hashtag

crocs be a dimension yeah these are ghost runner inventions ghost run the word got that five star Yeah. phones listen all day with work go home that's how i feel act like you know that you won just drinks you don't need no burger soda's only two liter dr pepper beverages get all our attention yeah these are ghost runner inventions staying home waking up just out of bed or at walmart safe for crocs the sign read make sure that hashtag croc spot gets a mention yeah these are ghost runner inventions hey nice work nice work thanks man was it did i that was the first time ever that I actually like tried to do it overdubbing an actual song. Like I was listening to Justin Bieber sing it while I was singing it. And I'm sure a few times I just sounded like. Like Justin Bieber?

Well, yeah. Like there were a few times where I was like, am I even singing? But other times where I was like, I'm sure I just mumbled through that whole thing. But thank you, Heather Lee. That was fun. That was pretty. Yeah. Well written song. Well sung. That was fun. That was pretty. Yeah. Well written song.

Well sung. Good job, Brad. Thank you. Thank you guys for listening to episode 89. Uh, hopefully next week, uh,

my life updates are more exciting unless things are stolen from me. Uh, but as always keep sending the voice memos has been awesome. Love hearing all those. Man, keep, let's steal something. Let's,

let's, let's even out society. I need to, yeah. Take life by the horns. Take what steal something. Let's even out society. I need to take life by the horns. Take what's yours. I need to... Looks like... There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Looks like this guy didn't just take a laptop. He's also taking life by the horns. Love it. The end. That's all I have to say about that. That's perfect. Love you guys. by the horns. Love it. So. The end. That's all I have to say about that. That's perfect.

Love you guys. See you next week. Go for the podcast.