Giggly Squad - Giggling about BBLs, bees, and best friends

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

Hannah is having an identity crisis and Paige loves sitting too much to get a BBL. shop summer merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Hello. I feel like a two-year-old and you're like, and then, and then when, and I was going, and I was in. And then I just started crying. But I don't have the kids today, guys.

Thank God. Thank God. Actually, I put in my own due diligence with children this weekend. Due diligence. Yeah, I did. I played an insane round of hide and go seek with a four-year-old and a three-year-old. And here's the thing I like about them. They don't care if you cheat.

They want to cheat. Like, I would go hide and then they would yell, where are you? And I would tell them, and then they would come get me. You should have been like, this isn't what life's how you live life. People don't give you the answers. You've got to figure it out yourself. I realized they just wanted to make them happy. And that made me happy.

That was beautiful. something that didn't make me happy. Yes. Back to our core. God-given age. Just to let you guys know that sometimes we and Hannah gossip before the pod and sometimes we do an hour. Not sometimes. Every time we have to like say the things that we need to say that we can't say.

Giggly Squad is unfiltered, uncensored. But it, that's in an intimate setting. We're saying full names in the beginning. We're saying social security numbers. And we need to protect people. Okay. So anyway, today I make that TikTok of that, like me living my dream life, like doing everything I've ever wanted to do in my life. And it's just like me, like, stoic.

With the rest of the face. So I put it on. And TikTok obviously like gets it. I put it on my Instagram story. It was anthropology to see who is natural. sarcastic in their everyday life and who is not. Like I had some friends message me being like, are you okay? And other people DMing me, but like it doesn't seem like you are though.

You look really sad. And I'm like, that's the joke. And then if you only think about yourself like me, I said that was her standing in solidarity with me showing she's going about her life not smiling. And I said, I love that for me. Right. And that was your take on it. No, that was such a funny post.

So funny. You also posted footage from the Jersey Shore this weekend. How was the Jersey Shore? What did you see? How was the boardwalk? I think just like a classic Jersey Shore weekend. And by that, I mean, I wore really cute outfits and I went to the beach. I literally.

Like, I. I love a beach. I love an outfit. I love a summer. I love a beach. I love an outfit. When I tell you, I sat there and I looked at the rest of the girls and I said, girls, how did we get here in 2026?

And they looked at me and they said, we don't know. There was a group of men, okay? And they're standing. They're doing men things, you know, like they're pulling, they're pulling cards and things that hold beverages and they're putting. They like to care. Yeah, like they're doing things. They're standing.

Picking up, putting it down. But it had an. observation where I said the men are standing over there talking about their bodies for a full 45 a full 45 about their bodies and I'm looking at the girls and I'm like never in my life did I think I would sit here at 33 years old and we haven't discussed our bodies once you guys are talking about starting a business you guys are talking about stocks you guys are talking about your dreams one of them was pregnant we didn't even bring it up I'm just kidding But I was like, guys, sit down.

The men are talking about their hip-to-waist ratio. The men have lost it. They're talking about routines. They're talking about proteins. They're talking about different mixes. But I do think as men get older, as their testosterone lowers. If I had to hear about it. That's like all they talk about, which I know they're triggered by, but like, it's all they talk about.

I think, like, the movie Werewolf was literally just about a guy who overdosed on testosterone. when he was like hitting his middle age and was like afraid. I think men should naturally lose a little. Soff. Whatever happened to softening in your older age, gracefully, age and gracefully. In my head, I'm just like, you don't have a beauty standard. What are you guys working against? What do you guys?

Oh, period. Like, what's your beauty standard? Do men have a beauty standard? Wait, is my computer about to die? No. Do men have a beauty standard? Like, is there a guy or like, is there a celebrity that, like, unanimously men are like cues.

I feel like George Clooney men like look up to because he's like distinguished. Brad Pitt, I think like guys think are hot. You could also like if you said like Hercules, I feel like the red power ranger. Do you think like they compare their bodies to anyone and like who do you think it is? I know that like guys do but they'll make fun of the guy who's like really fit if they're not. fit they're like oh you're working out a lot Leonardo DiCaprio is arguably one of our most famous celebrities and he's had a dad bought for 30 years and no one cares we're in the stem of the week yeah to bring it back to women yeah sorry there's a girl going around who used and when a

girl's going around I should buckle up did you want me to finish that sentence I was just like and she went around um she's using her CPAP which is this thing you put in your mouth. Oh, sleep apnea? For sleep apnea. She realized she could take her hair and roll it around the CPAP machine so she could have heatless curls. And in the morning, she had no sleep apnea and gorgeous natural waves.

So shout out to her. If you Google CPAP heat curler, she'll definitely come up. It's been sent to me like 200 times. That's extraordinary. I mean, genius. But going back to body. stuff really because i was going to take it in heatless girls but you know what before we seek into um i get tennis stuff and there's this thing called 1800s like what girls wore to tennis in the

1800s which you would have loved it's just like corset over corset over because that's like whatever that's so practical to run but then are you familiar with what a bustle is isn't a bustle like a big skirt like the back of a big skirt like you can pin your bustle up like I only know from like weddings so it looks like a big lobster tail okay so they'd put this like bustle which basically was an 1800s bbL like you have the outfit like now it's put on our bustle so it made girls look like they had this huge curvy butt and I'm like since day one the girls were getting BBLs and in no way was that helping your tenter game if anything it was just more to carry i think the girls are like still getting b b b bals well now people

are rumoring any skinny girl that like has a butt they're like getting a b b b that's it that was a mine a little b b b b b b b or a pad here's the thing i just like love sitting so much you couldn't it there's no i'm not making a commitment to not sit for like a week oh god no like i'm just not doing that you just stand everywhere how are you sleeping Well, I heard that when girls get it done in Mexico And they have to get on the plane Everyone's just standing up on the plane I've seen them on the airplane and they're like Some are like kneeling on the seats

I've also seen like chairs that like have the butt cut out That you could like sit whatever But at nighttime Are you just only laying on your stomach That seems that's so bad for my lower back I love a stomach sleep I love a stomach sleep Yeah, I can't ever do that

I love a summer sleep A stomach sleep. It's very grounding. How does your lower back not... It's killing me. It's killing me. Actually, is that the source of all my lower back pain? No, it's hurting me just thinking about you sleeping on your stomach the whole night.

Well, I start on my stomach, then I go on my side and I end up on my back. It's like a whole routine. Oh, and one more lowest comment. Did you show lowest my TikTok of all my beach outfits? No, but I need to. Yeah, you really do. I will. I go downstairs and all I did was put some like lipstick on and Lois goes, you have a pretty face.

And they said, thank you. And she goes, because you put makeup on. And I said, okay. And then she goes, you look like Paige. She goes, you look pretty like Paige. She's so giggly squad coated. Her just saying you have a pretty face is so giggly squad coded. in general.

She only wants me in glam. Yeah, same. I'm like literally useless to her without glam. I wake up in the morning bare face and she's like, and I tried a teacher. I said, well, you know, I put makeup on and she looked at me and she said, Des is going to want to marry you. And I said, Lois.

Lois, he loves me without makeup on. And she goes, why? I'm telling you I'm not making this up. this is verbatim what she's saying to me she goes why and i go because sometimes people like your personality if you're smart and if you're kind and she's like put the makeup on no and i'm like okay we've learned nothing today lois has a pink aura and i think i think i am similar to her in like okay sometimes there are things that like different page in my 20s and younger and probably even in my early 30s.

Have there been things that I've done that you could classify as pick me? Yeah, I'm alive. Like I've done pick me things before. Yeah. But sometimes when it's like really girly things and people will argue like, I saw a girl on TikTok the other day

and it was like really like beauty routines are inherently misogynistic because like who are you doing them for? But sometimes I feel attacked in that rhetoric because I'm like, not never once i'm not going to say that like yeah have i gotten ready for a guy before of course well that's just like you're attracted to someone you want to do things like to attract a mate yeah but like my nighttime skincare routine genuinely i mean actually i'm like is it to like not look older but

then i'm like why do i want to know first of all there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup i love makeup but like did you wear makeup every day going to your all-girls school never not once okay but i did on Fridays when i knew i had to go to the boys no but there were some days where like if i wanted to try out like a hairstyle like i would do it yes yeah well like when we do a photo shoot i'm not thinking about men like are going to like these pictures if anything they're not the only boys I'm thinking about if gay men will like this or not. That actually is in my head a little too much. I had to film something today and I filmed with three girls, four girls, four girls, one guy.

Two girls, one cup. And as soon as the gay guy came into my chair, I felt as though I had known him for. Do you work for a hair salon? What do you mean? He came into my chair. Is that in my chair? Yeah, why did I see that? You said you're like, how long has it been?

Split ends, baby, split ends. You wonder what? I got a haircut today. So maybe that. Oh, you did? No, he came and sat next to me and we filmed what we had to film. To the point where someone asked if we knew each other before. And I said, me and gay men, you do know.

If you're gay, we have. I said, I just, we click. It's just something about us. I was with my Uncle Johnny all weekend. He's perfect. He got a martini at dinner with all the kids. I'm obsessed with him. He literally was fighting for his life.

And then I got in trouble because Lois got up, left her pizza. Why is kids food looks so good? Yeah, no. Why does it look so good? And I'm like, look around the table. I'm like, if I were to take a bite, they were like, if you take a bite, she'll freak out. And I'm like, is it worth it? It's something the moms have not told us in our DMs.

I get DM'd a lot of things about being a mom, like when we bring things up. And not one of them has ever said anything about the children's snacks. Dino Nuggets? I could eat that for the rest of my life. I was sitting at dinner the other night having an adult meal of cheeseburger's hot dogs. Get to my rides eating mac and cheese. I said, where'd you get that? They said, my mom made it for me.

I said, where is your goddamn mom? I need a bowl. Kids went to sleep. Things went in the refrigerator. ice cream right over there. I ate their leftovers. So don't leave mac and cheese around me. It looks so good.

I don't even know what brand it was. I think it was like that, what's that really trendy one? Untie and. No, like noodles and noodles and poodles. Oh yeah, kudels. Poodles and noodles, loodle. And there's protein in it. Wait till what happened with you and your new bestie, your new gay bestie in the chair.

I hate to sound like an influencer, but I also. I can't tell you right now. You'll see it at a later day. She's teasing. Comment in the chair. No, is it? Comment below. I've gotten a lot of DMs about that of like, it's diabolical what they're doing.

Hannah and I were on FaceTime earlier and Hannah said the word demonic. And I said, oh, I said, oh my God, Hannah, I use the word demonic today. And I don't think I, because usually my go-to-it-to-it-you-hmm. diabolical but I said let me switch you know you got to get new words new adjectives I love that we both knew it at the same time that's where we bonded should we both just like get a thesaurus and like look around every day just change stuff up you love saying thesaurus just then you're like I'll see a thesaurus there was a 50-50 shot I was going to get it right right before I said it and in it's panicked the source is a conti dictionary the soros is like when I don't want to say

the word and I want to say a different one and you can't tell me what to say yeah I feel like there was like a phase in my life where my mom was like if you don't have a thesaurus then how are you even doing your homework and I'm like I don't think you know who like hell you're talking to lady you and I we do not see eye to eye when it comes to this school stuff you go mom where I'm going to be we're not going to need a thesaurus I promise you Hannah and her mom handle the book writing. Cut to me being a New York Times bestselling author, no one saw a coming.

No thesaurus. No thesaurus. Thesaurus insights. And no chat GPT, baby. Dude, I would absolutely crush high school right now. Are you kidding? I don't even get how that's being regulated. No, I'm very, very worried.

I have more gay lore. Okay. In regards to The Little Mermaid. Yeah. So the gigglers are sending this to me. You're really on this case. There's more shit going on with Hans, Christian Anderson.

Hell yeah. A whole new world. I want to be where the people are. You know, they listen. No, you just did this. You just brought this up so you can sing. I'm sick of this podcast.

I've had it with this goddamn podcast. Wish not. Wait, I'm tuning. I'm tuning. A, B, C. Wish I could be part of your world. Okay. It's a gay anthem.

It's about not being able to be out and be gay. That's why he felt like a mermaid who couldn't be with the people. He wants to be part of their world. Media literacy. It's a lost art. Out where they walk, out where they talk, out where they say all day in the sun. Ooh, I have chills. That was his lover with his wife who didn't know.

Full family. And Hans was just yearning. Hold up. Hold up. The guy that wrote The Little Mermaid was a gay man who was married. Obviously. Who was married. I hope so.

A straight man being like, The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson. There's Little Mermaid. She was in the water swimming. A strong guy would be like, the big strong mermaid. Stop. Stop. There's so many things I want to say. Wait, so he's married to a woman and this was like his life's work and this is how he got out that like he was gay.

Imagine she's scrolling Instagram today. She's like, what the? What year was this? I should honestly do like one Google search before. I just need There are other podcasts that like say they're like experts and things and people get mad when they get stuff wrong. It's not this. But I feel like people don't, they like prefer us to get it wrong.

Han Chris Anderson. We set the scene early. Gay icon. Hans sexuality is viewed by modern scholars as fluid or bi-romantic. Oh, apparently Edward. Edvard. Ooh. Edvard.

Colin Anderson formed an intense... No, it's his first name. Edward Colin? Edward Colin. Edward. Edward. He had an intense unrequitted attachment to his close friend, and he wrote in letters, I long for you as though you were a beautiful Collabrian girl.

If I had a nickel. Wait a second. Wait, I know this exact gay man. But then later in his life, he was with. with a Danish ballet dancer named Harold. One time somebody wrote me a letter, like a breakup letter. Like, I broke up with him and then he wrote me a letter. And my brother intercepted the letter.

And he goes, bro, I'm going to give you one piece of advice. Do not give this to my sister. And the guy was like, why? Like, I said a lot of really good things in there. Like, I wanted to know how I feel. And my brother said, she's not going to respect you, dude. He's like, okay, mailman, Gary. I'm just trying to express myself like my therapist told me to, and you're really getting into way.

He was like, just get back in your car, get out of our driveway. You were never here. Okay. Hans Little Mermaid was interpreted by literary scholars, and they never give a name when they say literary scholars. I don't know who these literary scholars are as queer allegory for unrequited same-sex love, mirroring the painful longing for his close friend, Edvard. What year? Oh, yeah, that was the first question you asked me. this is why we don't have an expert podcast

it's powerfully captures the feeling of an outsider wanting to enter a forbidden or unreachable society in the year of what of our lord okay we'd be so bad in a group project this is what it's like being in a group project with me and page right now the the project was due two weeks ago by the way okay hans christian little mermaid not gay allegations I'm just trying. Now it like thinks I want.

Okay, date? No, he's going to. Year. Okay. Okay. When do you think the film was if you had to? The very first film. I know it was like one of the first.

I'm going to say that little mermaid. Like the movie? Okay. Let me explain. You were just going to throw an number out there. I didn't know there could be follow-up questions. I was going to say 1949. Okay.

The book. was in 1837 in Copenhagen, Denmark. Fairy tales told for children ended in a murder suicide. And the movie was 1989, so like recent. I was way off on that. Okay. Well, if you average the two, you were right on. Wait, I was definitely not going to get 18, whatever you said.

Yeah. I love a period piece, though. Why isn't there a movie about this man? I would love that. Maybe there is a documentary. That would be amazing. Okay, so his wife's definitely not scrolling Instagram and being like, what? We've lost Hannah.

He looks sweet. He looks sweet. Sorry, I was interesting comb over. Do you remember when, like, in the 80s, it was like very, like, when men lost their hair, they just combed it over. And that was, no one made a note. No one was like, maybe. They were like, this looks good now. A couple months ago on the pot, I said something like, you guys, the men.

should have a beauty standard and like they should go get their hair's their hair done and their hair's done and like recently I feel like I don't like it because I don't like the arrogance that I feel like they get after if you're a gay man literally go and like do it obviously that's like so exciting but I feel like some men it was the only thing keeping them humble not having a beauty routine. Yeah. Okay, so I have to tell you guys something and I genuinely think I've become one of those people who won't shut up about a blanket. Like if you come to my apartment, I'm making you touch my Lola blanket. The second someone feels that they're like, wait, okay, I need to get it. And honestly, you guys also know I've gifted a lot of Lola blankets because truly it's the softest blanket

I've ever owned. I have the extra large blanket in the color greenhouse and it's made of insanely soft faux fur and it has stretched to it, it's machine washable, and somehow it still looks brand new even though it's permanently draped over my couch. These blankets just truly make everything feel so much cozier. The only problem is I thought about it. The only problem is I thought I bought it for me, but it turns out I actually bought it for Daphne. She has completely claimed every Lola blanket in my house and every single time I go looking for it, she's already asleep or making biscuits on it. So I finally gave up and ordered her her own Lola bed, the small one in Bondi beige, and honestly, it's the best decision I've ever made. She loves being perched up,

so it's already like high and perfect height for her. And she immediately curled up into it. And she didn't even inspect it first, which is very different for her. She just loved it right away. And it's made with that same ridiculously soft Lola material, but it has an orthopedic foam base. so it's actually supportive for pets. It's machine washable, and now I finally get my Lola Blanket back, most of the time. For limited time, our listeners can get 40% off, select Lola Blanket products with code Giggly at checkout. Just head to LolaBlankets.com and use code Giggly to get 40% off your order.

And after you order, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please let them know that Giggly Squad sent you. Seriously, though, whether you're buying one for yourself or eventually realizing your pet owns everything in your house anyway, you're going to understand the hype the second you touch it. Again, that's 40% off. Select Lola Blanket products at LolaBlankets.com with code Giggly. Do you think men should be allowed to use red light? Only if I put it on. Or they're like in, they have to recover from something.

I was going to say, does put red light on his knee. He's recovering from surgery. He's recovering. No, like it's like a whole room of red light. Like in the bedroom before bed, no. No. Well, are you getting those TikToks? People are like, you can get a new red light home.

I have it. And your home is fully, the ceilings are red light. I literally did it to myself with Amazon. Wait, that's what I was talking about today when I said demonic. Like the first time I ever got like a red light, like in my room, my mom was like, is this something demonic? Kim is counting our rosaries. I was like, mom, this is for my wrinkles.

It is giving satanic ritual for sure. Someone's getting sacrificed and it's your wrinkles. Yeah. Also, even if it is a placebo effect, I don't care. I love my red light before bad. Have you felt anything? That's my thing. Like, I prefer a feeling.

Can't quantify it. Have you ever felt anything? I feel something from my, I was just going to say my thimble. My tuning forks. That you feel something because like you feel and hear. hear the vibration and that like genuinely works i'm telling you what is it do it you did not think i was going to ask a follow-up question to that one you said this podcast was about no follow-up questions you said no follow-up questions on this podcast and we weren't experts

whenever we say tuning forks it gets so hungry wait i'm so hungry right now i just ate a racket de broccoli rhab pasta which is my current hyper fixation well i feel like broccoli Rob pasta is always your current hyperfixation. I'm obsessed with a little sausage. Do you know that? That's like one pasta that I actually hate. And that's why we're best friends. Yeah, because if we like the same pasta, then we'd fight over it all the time.

If you go to a restaurant and somebody goes to me broccoli raw, I know I'm giving it right to you. I don't know what it is. I don't, I think it's like bitter tasting. Yeah, but I think I like the salty sweet. I'm not going to get into it. It's too, we can agree to disagree. Okay, we don't need to get into the minutia of it. Yeah.

I had something crazy happen to me this weekend. Hmm. And I didn't know this could happen when you were a grown up. Got stung by a bee. Where? I thought that was the thing that happened to children only. Where? Well, it was a full family day.

And when I tell you, like, I'd been up since... No, where on your body? Crisp morning. Hans Christian Anderson by the... I'm having a nice cup of coffee by the window. No, but it was a family day. there's a story Okay go hit me with the story

Set the scene At 8.30 am I was awakened by the howling Of children and I forgot That I was not my own home Isn't that the worst When you wake up somewhere? I was having so much fun With them and then more family came over It was a full Italian gathering

And then after around five hours Like I'm good I've said all it needs to be said I've hit it only gets worse from here and the kids are like we want to go play in the splash pad is what they're calling it we thought it was like a little pool and then we took it out and it was just like you know when they put out just like rubber with like some water on it i have absolutely no idea what a splash pad is is it someplace you go you buy one do remember that when you would like go down

what is it called the water slide that you'd put in your backyard and then there'd be like one rock and it would just like rip everyone's inside out no i don't know what you're talking a slip and slide Slip inside. Slip inside. Okay, okay. So it's like a mini slip inside. Okay. Anyway, I'm like, I'm going to go with the kids and watch.

But I'm already like dying. Like I, it's only five o'clock and I don't know. We have a whole night ahead of us. And I hear buzzing in my ear. And I guess I'm not, the bee like got in my hair and I was like trying to like kind of get it out. And then it stung my ear and my finger. I got double stung. And I stop and I go, I think I got stung by a bee.

And everyone. Everyone, like, really reacts. Like, I was like, are you okay? And then I realized, I have an out. And I was like, let me, let me go downstairs and check. So I grabbed some ice, go to the basement, turn on the tennis channel. You are a dad. Pass out for two hours.

You're a dad. I am literally dead. You are a dad. Come back. The kids are so excited to see me. They miss me so much. My mom's like, where the hell work? We're in the trenches.

I got stung by a bee. I could have gone to the hospital. Meanwhile, it didn't, it was like a very light stain. Imagine it bit your face and you could like smile again. No, but like how many things have to happen to me in a given day? Yeah, well, it's been kind of a crazy summer with like Mercury and Retrograde and like people are really fighting for their lives. It's looking better though. Yeah.

Not this side or this side, but overall it looks better. No, I actually agree. Like that's still going down. No, your lip is so much better on the top. And it's lighter. Yeah, it is. But I digress. But you know when your friends are like allergic to bees and like a bee comes around and they like freak out because they could have a serious like deathly reaction?

You know what's so crazy is because we're, we've been around. like children recently. At one point there was a small baby child, could not even speak yet, was eating something and I just heard his dad say, does that have nuts in it? And I mean, I didn't give the food to the baby so like I was out of this lawsuit,

but like my immediate reaction is like how crazy when you have a baby, you just have to like see if they're allergic to something? Like, So what do you even do? I guess you're right. Something has to happen to know if someone's allergic. Right.

So like one day. Wait. You're like you throw a shellfish at its face. So like wait. As a mom, you guys are all just collectively picking a random day and being like, today's the day we're giving the baby peanut butter. We're going to fucking see what happens. Like why?

Yeah. Like I haven't heard that there's like allergy tests. Maybe some moms do. it but back in the day you know they didn't have that shit they were just like it's time to eat a soybean what do you think is the most annoying thing to be allergic to well peanut allergies like caused a lot of drama because if you have a peanut allergy no one in your vicinity is a lot of peanuts so like in school they'd be like someone here has a peanut allergy so no one can have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and everyone's like what the

Yeah. Sometimes even on planes. Plains. Yeah, they'd be like someone here. They always have someone, somebody. Yeah, they're like definitely. Somebody. We're not going to say a name, but the girl in the front and has the peanut allergy.

So no, we're going to have pants. But apparently, peanut allergies are now less popular. I was going to say so calm. Oh, no, no, no. Before, what were you going to say? Who are you? You know, I have a girlfriend who ate so many almonds She gave herself

I don't know how to her words She became allergic to almonds You can overdose to the point that your body rejects it She overdosed on Healthiest Girl I know Okay Well it's gonna say if I was gonna overdose on a I would be a macadamia nut

Well I got Fatty greasy one Oh shoot I'm allergic to Give me a bacon I'm allergic to pasta with butter and parmesan Sure No that's like whenever I was upset about the lettuce Going around

I'm like oh no I can't have a full salad with every meal. Oh no. Dino chicken nuggets again. Like also in my 20s, I had this thought where I was like, oh, one day I'm not going to eat pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. Like I'm going to be an adult and I'll make food. I'm going to eat pasta with butter and parmesan cheese at least once a week until the day I die. For sure.

Like, it's the best thing ever. And for sure. Here's another thing. Not all Parmesan cheese is created equally. That pause was crazy. That pause for effect was crazy about Parmesan cheese. She was like everyone quiet. Not all is made equal.

Not all Parmesan. Yeah. Parmesan. And if you're not getting like finely graded, you're getting almost like it's like a little thicker. It doesn't stick to the pasta and the butter at the same wine. So just know that going forward. I know our drag race names.

What are they? I'm lasagna del Rey. And you're Parmigina. Oh, I was going to say. I don't know why pasta primavera, like, stuck in my head. There has to be something cunty about it, though. Oh, right. Actually, Princess Primavera.

What was your first one? Vigina. I said Parmigina. I like that, actually. I actually like that. out in the best. Parma gina is iconic. Now I'm starving.

But anyway, I have also a fake tan update. Okay. I didn't know we were, were we following a story? Well, Haley, Cherie, Nicola, had, full government name, had told me to buy this, like, Amazon spray tan droplet thing

just to, like, tan your face a little. Like, one, you ever just that you, like, mixed with like your moisturizer. Yeah. Exactly. So I bought it and it actually was really good. Which one? I was like cool.

I'll put it in the newsletter. It's like blue and white, whatever. Okay. It's cheap. It's like $8. So then I put in my makeup bag and then of course it like explodes. Of course. But I don't know that it's the fake tan that exploded.

I just thought something exploded in my makeup bag, which if I had a nickel. So I'm just going about my day with something that exploded. And then the next. next day my hand looks like a cheetah because there's dots all over it because i was like rummaging through my makeup bag and lois is like what's on your hand and then i took a hair tie that was in my makeup bag and look at my i dye my wrist this is the most hannah thing i that's ever hannered this is so because this is why i can't have faked hand around me was it like when you you were rummaging through your bag?

Like, was it wet? I thought a moisturizer had, like, exploded a little, and I was like, whatever. And I didn't want to go through and wash the 50 things in my makeup bag, which an adult might have done. But I was like, I can navigate this. I can deal with adversity. I didn't know that I was literally dying my skin. So I looked like I have just, like, orange shit all over my hands.

There's nothing worse than when something explodes in your makeup bag. And then I have a toddler yelling at me. to put more makeup on and I'm like Lois I have a lot I'm dealing with right now. Oh my God. I can't believe that happened to you. That is out. Oh my God. Yeah.

It's been a week. Well, at least you know it lasts. It's a great product and it's long lasting. And we will put it in the newsletter because look at that. It's not too orangey. And they do what they say and they mean it. And they mean it. Do you ever do the tan contour?

Do you remember that was like a thing for a week? I haven't done it in a while. Like when's the last time I spray tan? like before the summer. But I do do it every time I spray tan because I don't. It's not that like I feel like fake tan makes me break out because I don't think it does. Like some brands, yeah, for sure. But like overall, I don't know.

I just like my skincare routine. So I do my skincare routine and then I wait for like a really long time so that it like completely seeps in. And then I'll do the contour. There's just something about putting it all over my face. I'm like, I don't know. But then like when I go get a spray tan like from a woman, I let her do my face and it's like the same thing. Do you do it during the summer?

No. I feel like I'm so tan right now. You are. And I like got a little sunburn at the beach, which like, no, I've hit the age where I'm mad at myself, where I'm like, how the fuck did that happen? Like you put sunscreen on. Like that's when you know your,

that's when you know you're an adult guys I'm turning 35 in two weeks oh my god it's actually so chic 35 is really chic and I'm getting all these Instagrams that are just like your 40s are better than your 30s and your 50s are better than your 40s

and your 60s are better than your 50s this woman in her 40s was talking about how she's her happiest in her 40s because she said your 20s you don't know what the fuck's going on and then your 30s is everyone is like on a crazy timeline like when are you having kids when you getting married and it's just so stressful because of timelines but she's like your 40s everyone's given up on timelines because things either

happened or they didn't and everyone's just living life yeah so that's kind of iconic we're hitting the first round of divorces oh yeah they're come let me tell you they're coming in hot are we we are I guess I feel like I know like a couple people I kind of love like losing a friend to a marriage and then getting her back while you're still single and she went through her whole marriage and you're like get begging her girl that hasn't happened to me yet but you never know you never know you really never know um i have some technological update updates from the women in stem the girls and i think you also i have to double track are posting horizontal instagram photos okay well I'm not trying to do it on purpose.

I don't know how to change it. Get it to stay regular. Oh, so you did it by accident. Yeah. Every time I do it, it's against my will. I know how to fix it. Whatever your first photo is, you choose in the dump, is what dimensions will keep it. Okay.

I tried that. So you tried to do long first and then move it? No, that's what you have to do. But Haley Bieber posted horizontal today. Well, she probably can't figure it out. She might not. I'm thinking she can't figure it out. It's kind of like Regina George when she got her nipples cut and then she was like, well, and started walking around.

Everyone did it. Because you did it, then she did it. And then I was like, I guess all the cool girls are doing it. No, I didn't do it on purpose. Well, because you want to know it's annoying when I use my digital camera and I import my pictures, they're horizontal. So then I can't. Yeah. Just don't have it as the first photo and then move it to the first photo after.

Wow, I feel so, I feel like IT right now. In your household, are you IT or is DES IT? It's so weird, does as IT. Well, when it comes to, like, printers, TVs. It's does? It's does. He's really house manager over there. He's?

And he's exhausted. Like, he came in, he was like, who left the umbrella open? And I was like, I didn't know we had an umbrella. It's chaos. over here in these streets. Hannah, I'm going to be thinking about how you went downstairs, turned on the tennis channel. All you needed to, fell asleep for two hours.

All you needed to do was bet on that game and then wake up to see, like, if you're bet hit or not, and you would have been a dad. You would have been a full dad. And then you would have gone upstairs and been like, does, the fuck is dinner. Like, I was gone for two hours. No, I love like when sitting with the men and then the women get up to start cleaning.

And I'm like, why aren't you guys cleaning? Yeah. They aren't like, why aren't you cleaning? I'm like, why would I clean? That is a very stereotypical thing that really grinds your gears. Well, because I don't know why women automatically have to clean. They cooked also, especially when they cooked. But actually my household, it's a rule.

My nana and my mama cook. Yeah. And like without, not a second goes by, pop and my dad are cleaning. and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and the dishes are, I mean, does that happen in my household? No, because we get Uber Eid. I'm also going through a little identity crisis. Okay. With my profile picture on Instagram.

I meant to bring that up to you. I meant to bring that up to you. Wait, we have to pull it up for the people because if you... Well, I changed it again. Wait, I need to see what you're at right now because... I changed it again. I just didn't type in your name. That was so weird.

What'd you type in? Oh, you just changed it right before the pod. Yeah, I'm like, but I'm not sticking with that one yet. I was just testing it. Okay, I liked the one you had before. I thought it was like fun and cute and flirty. For a second, I was like, should I be, like, is it cool to not have like a professional photo up?

Like, I'm like, let's stop being so serious. So then I was just scrolling and I randomly just found a photo of me like doing a kissy face. I didn't even know I had that photo and it's not even like my favorite photo. I just felt like it was authentic. And then someone said, I don't like your PFP. So then I googled PFP and it's profile picture. So then I was like, okay, some young girl doesn't like my profile picture.

So then I panicked before we started the pod and just picked another one. And then Haley texted me and was like, what's going on with your profile picture? So I'm kind of freaking out right now. I love being a girl. I love it. I love it so much. I love it so much. Like, no, this is the stuff I'm talking about, Hannah.

Here's the thing. When I change my profile picture, I look for one person opinion and one person only. And that woman's name, Kimberly DeSorbo. Text your mom. Really? See if she likes it. No, but sometimes my mom will like photos of me that, like, are pretty. And I don't want a pretty photo.

My mom speaks in very, like, honest terms. Well, like, almost, like, honest. But like in an old school of like what year is it like she'll be like you look tough. I'm like I'm like what? Like I could beat someone up. You just you look harsh. I don't like the Myspace generation and we like to reinvent ourselves with a profile picture. She likes when I look elegant where sometimes I want to look a little bad, you know?

Yeah, you're bad girl. You're naughty. Sometimes you're a bad girl. I feel like with mine, I had my Hulu special, which is still available to watch. But I was feeling like, okay, I don't need my Hulu special photo up anymore. And then I was thinking of like random cool girls who like they have like their photo of them as a kid. They're like, I'm just silly. Yeah.

Where it's like it's not even like a picture of them. Yeah. You want to know who has a real like who I always think is really good. Josephine. Josephine has had the same picture of a dog that is not even her dog. for years. See, that's cool. It makes no sense.

It was a dog she saw on the street. And when you ask her about it, she has a cool story. Yeah. It was a dog she saw on the street in Japan. And it's like, yeah. Oh my God, she's so cool. Yeah, I'm like, that is like really cool. I think that I didn't consider trying to be cool.

And then I didn't know how to be cool. And those are the coolest girls of all. That's what you're my best friend. You have to rework it. Wait, you literally just, you said, don't say, that about my friend. Yeah. She's the coolest girl you've ever seen.

You know, you're literally so cool. And also, like, what makes a person cool? Being hilarious and gorgeous. Okay, check, check. But, like, you know what I was thinking? I think in the past, people think I'd be cooler if I didn't smile as much. You want to know what? You're so nice.

That's what it is. You're so approachable. And usually, like, really nice people don't get the word cool thrown around. and if you get the word cool thrown around you also have to be ready for bitch you're right so like I take the good with the bad she goes if you want to be cool you also have to be a bitch if you want to live this life

and you can't handle that kind of heat if you can't handle the heat get out of the kitchen bitch yeah I feel like you're so nice you're cool but like not you're actually like so sweet like you're not mean at all but like I know there's people in this industry who are mean yeah and everyone's like they're so cool and I'm like when's it become cool to be mean

Well, people are scared of them. Oh. I feel like people are scared of them. And like they're the kind of people that like, they're like if you don't have group mentality and think like me, you're not cool. Where I feel like we're not group mentality people. We're not. We're not.

That's why sometimes we're not that cool because we're like, we don't want to. We're not going. Like how many times are we like actually we're not going? Like we don't care. No, sometimes we're not cool because we are not group mentality. And then sometimes we're cool because we're not group mentality. and it's like 50-50. Can you just say the same thing twice?

Yeah. But also, I think I was playing too much tennis during my high school years. I didn't think about these things and you did. About being cool? About like how you're perceived. I started being perceived at a very young age so I had to think about it. Like I didn't want to think about it, but I had to. And I was purely perceived in the sports realm, which is literally like, that's a score, bitch.

That's a score. And I think that's why I like, I always leaned more mysterious. That's why it's so crazy that I even did reality TV. Oh, I'm not mysterious. I'm not mysterious. You know, it's funny. We never talk about this, but Paige at first during the, what's like auditioning process? That was called?

Yeah. I remember I had heard back. Jordan heard back. And you hadn't heard back yet. And I remember seeing you and, sorry, was that public knowledge? okay. They're like, okay, what did I do? No, but I remember seeing you, like, in the office?

No, and it wasn't that I didn't hear back. I didn't get it. Oh, see, I just didn't know if you, like, I didn't hear that you got told no. But I remember thinking like she looks too cool. I didn't know. I didn't get told no. I didn't know I didn't get it. I just assumed by not hearing back.

And then when they called me and said two girls dropped out, I was like, oh, so I wasn't, I was like, so I wasn't pissed. Well, because let's be honest, you were shy, stylish, very New York, Scorpio. I didn't see you as someone who wanted to be all out there. No, I didn't. I didn't want to at all. I could see you as a news reporter. I just knew it was going to get me something else that I wanted, and that's why I did that.

See, I've never been mysterious a day in my life. Yeah. And the producers were like, this is going to be good. I don't want to say like I knew, like I knew how to gain the system because you don't at all. Reality TV is so crazy. But I definitely, there were certain times where I was like, yeah, I'm not doing that. You were always better at saying no to situations where I was a little more desperate to be like, but they won't like me or they'll get mad if I don't join in where you're, you knew from a young age she knew she was a bitch.

I haven't yelled at anyone in a while. Yeah, because you're not being paid to. Oh. Oh, that felt good. That was an eyelash. See, and this is how it happens when you're like, and whose eyelashes this? Do you just kind of fight with yourself? You were like, and then later on in the day, when I forget that I put that there, I'm going to go fight with someone.

I haven't yelled at someone in a second. But that is fun just to go out to a guy and be like, whose eyelashes is this? No, do you know how many times I've fought with boys? boyfriends where I've been like, who's is this? And then I'm looking at it and I'm like, that is mine. Remember when I didn't know about where does this, about the shorts? I thought was a woman short and does is like, those are my European shorts. Vaguely.

I vaguely remember this. Wait, did you text me or call me? When we first started dating right under his bed, there were like these little shorts. And I was like, is this a, like, soccer mom's shorts? Like is he like does he have a secret family and I literally was like who shorts and he's like mine they're from Ireland Finally also People are putting multiple captions on their Instagram photos have you seen this? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? I'm stressing out. It's like homework I'm so glad you brought that up because like stop

No like truly stop. Wait, you're telling me you're putting you're doing a dump of 18 photos with 18 different The anxiety it took me to even post this stuff dump and think of one caption. You only think of... I'm the anxiety of making sure I didn't accidentally go horizontal. But didn't we used to do that with Facebook albums where you'd comment under every photo that you posted? Do you remember that?

You'd be like, Stephanie lost in beer pong, L.O.L. Wait, that's like a real caption I had. Yeah. Stephanie never lost, though. Stephanie's really good. Also, the stuff people would put from... You go to a party and you'd get papped, basically. entire time by random friends. By ourselves. I literally papped each other. And then you'd have the

worst photos of you, maybe people making out doing illegal things. And I'm like, you just posted that on the Facebook album. And we were alive and we were not cringe. And we like, do you remember like when people got drunk for the first like, like when people were getting drunk for the first time, there was an inevitable crash out. Like if you're drunk for the first. time you have to at some point crash that was scary out i was scared everyone was scared and i just feel like i i feel like the kids aren't doing that well it's definitely not being recorded i mean it is on a digital camera but it gets deleted we used to not even look through it you just took the chip put it in and press post yeah but they have it way worse than us like literally everything they do

gets recorded and so to think that like some of those nights when you're like oh see senior in high school would be yeah actually can't that actually makes me scared no yeah but we were talking about like when our kids one day people were like what if your kid finds out you to reality tv i said good they should learn about history they should learn about betrayal they should learn about storylines and they should learn about character development development and growth and non growth was it you that i was just talking to this about i was just talking about this to someone and i was like I used to be like, oh my God, it would be like kind of like not ashamed, but like. No, you're going to sit my child down and be like, and after World War II, there was Summer House.

And now I'm going to sit and I'm going to be like, look at this man. Look at his face on the screen. If anyone ever says these words to you. If anyone speaks to you like that. This is what I want. You see mommy stance here. You got to stay firmly planted two feet. Do you see how my fingers?

her goes right into his face. And that's going into his soul. Okay. And he's going to wake up in his 60s and that's still going to be repeating in his head. He's never going to find peace. And that was our lesson for today. Thank you guys for giggling with us. Have an incredible beautiful week.

Do it. And we'll talk to you later. Bye.