Giggly Squad - Giggling about bologna, poison, and ponzi schemes

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

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What's up gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Got away from me. Hello, my guillotine gigglers. Violent for no reason. Quick Mormon update.

Apparently, the girls in the New Mormon show aren't all Mormon. So people were like telling me that. And I was like, how is I supposed to know what's called the New Mormon show? Yeah. Is this a new segment we have weekly? It's like updating the Mormon community. Our Mormon correspondents are in my DMs. And then Macy from the other Mormon show,

DM me was like, hi girlie, we have to play tennis. So I'm in with all the tennis reality girls finally. Because everyone's like, make friends with Macy. And I'm like, I'm 34.

I don't know how to make me friends. And I said, hi, my love. Did you? Wait, did she play tennis? She's like really good at tennis

and her sister's really good at tennis. Oh, right, right, right. Because I get a lot of, like hey sonza plays tennis and i'm like okay let's let's see they played so funny because my dms are like hey i get uTIs all the time too we have such different dm no we have such different interactions with people but i feel like page coded girls are up in my dms be like keeping me they're trying to like page i hate that they're trying to lend a helping hand yeah so i get both they're empathic Oh God.

Actually, I got a really funny DM from a giggler. Because sometimes gigglers would be like, this would be a funny bit. Like, you should talk about it. And they said, what do you do when a guy's talking dirty to you in bed? And you like can't really hear what he said. Yeah. Like you can't say what? Yeah.

No, that's the worst thing. But like you can't just go with it because you don't know what he said and you don't want to sign up for something you didn't sign up for. What's the move? If he's like, you get. I just like, mm-hmm. Honestly, because at that point, if I... I say, Noah Blu and Glass.

Because really, like, what are they really going to do that's, like, crazy? Like, there are such talk. Like, it's four minutes and 30 seconds out of your day. Like, what are they really going to throw at you that you haven't seen before? And, like, I mean, I think we're all alluding to anal here. What are we? Two minutes into the episode and you've brought up anal. But you have time to be like, hey, I don't swing that way.

You do, you do. You could be like, I was muffled in the pillow. I thought you said, what rhymes with anal? I don't know. But I got my micro-needling, honey. Tell me everything. So I'm like a couple. I got it at 9 a.m. this morning and it's 4 o'clock right now.

You look normal. I look normal, right? Yeah. It's crazy. I want to say I was read for maybe three hours. I did, it's called RF microneadling. I went to a doctor. I went to Dr. Umbarine Mopmood.

Let me tell you something that I really appreciate in people. I like when I meet someone and they are their profession. Like when I met this woman, I looked at her and I go, yeah, you're, you're touching my face. I go, you're goddamn plastic surgeon. Like I, and I hope that that I'm also the type of person that like if I feel a compliment in my head, I have to say it. Like, so like walking down the street, if I think you have a cool outfit, I'm saying it because I think that like builds up your aura points. Like say it. You know, like don't keep a compliment in.

So like whenever I see someone and they're just like, like sew their profession. Like sometimes Taylor will come to like different things we're doing. And I'm like, you look like a makeup artist right now. Well, because you love Barbie's different outfits. It's like when this doctor walked in the room, first, when I walked into her office, I was like, yeah, this is where I'm getting freaking microtheling done. Okay.

And then when she comes in the room, I was like, hell yeah. Like your outfit, your skin, everything about you, her ring stack. Like I just felt good. Her ring stack. I loved it. Her aesthetic. Yeah, just her whole aesthetic. I was so proud of her for being a plastic surgeon.

I'm just laughing because the group on places I've been to, you would call the police. You'd call the police. This is literally insane. So anyway, so I got my groanedling down. You go in, they numb your whole face with like a cream for like 30 minutes. And I mean, you're numb. then the procedure takes maybe 15 minutes. It basically feels like they're stamping your skin.

And like you feel it a little bit, but here's what I'll say in terms of pain tolerance. I actually think laser hair removal hurts. Do you think it hurts? It's definitely not comfortable, but it doesn't hurt compared to waxing. Okay. This hurts less than laser hair removal and it's way quicker.

They do like a pass on your face three times, I would say. Does she recommend this over like all the laser facials that the girls are doing? Different. It's different. Like it gives you different results. Yeah. Like micronealing I feel like is for boost of collagen. But we're 27.

I know. Forever. But here's the other thing why I liked her. Like when I'm laying in the chair and she's talking to me. Like we're talking about like girl stuff. Like we were literally talking about if we wanted to get boob jobs or not. she was selling you a boob job no she was saying like reasons why she was like well this is like reasons why some people don't want to get them and this is reasons why i personally haven't gotten them

but like i do think about it like it just felt like because your plastic surgeon at the end of day is just a girl well i'm laying there and i'm like oh everyone is just a girl everyone is just a girl and we want to talk about girl things not to come for the men only six minutes into the pod but like when there's a man who does like facial surgery especially who's straight I'm like men can't tell if you got a haircut how are you changing like the subtleties of someone's nose I don't think I've ever met a man with a nose job they're out there but not straight men because because I think a nose that looks kind of broken is like considered hot yeah hot yeah we'll be I remember like two summers ago, the guy's got Rat Guy Summer and I'm like, that was,

that was, you see a headline and you go, their PR company's fucking great. Crazy. Like they get dad bots. They get Rat Guy Summer. It's like, what do we have? Oh, one last Giggler message. She is woman of STEM of the week. She said that she finished giving her boyfriend a blowjob.

And after he came, she went, women in STEM. And he said what? and she goes, never mind. Iconic. That's hilarious. I love that. Yeah. Okay, so anyway, so I get the micro-needling done, and then they gave me products to use for, like, the next five days.

Literally no downtime. If I wanted to put makeup on tonight, I could. It's like a gentle face wash, like, good moisturizer. You want to be, what's it called, the person that does stuff for your face? Estetician. Aesthetian, what's the other one that pops pimples? Dermatologist. You want to be it so bad.

You're pretending you are one right now and you're loving it. You're like, and then you used to use a light cleanser. I just love talking about my hobby. Sorry, you don't have a passion. If you had a passion. Yeah. And do you want to know what? You have to go for three sessions, six weeks in between.

And then you don't have to go again for like a year or like six months. And I'm really excited to see this journey. I love how you went from Botox to this. And I really hope in seven months you aren't on Us Weekly being like, don't get micranetate. Wait, did you see page six wrote an article? And then Chloe Kardashian commented it. And I was like, oh, my God. What did they write an article about?

Page Six wrote an article about how I said Chloe Kardashian's perfume was the best perfume I've ever smelled. And then Chloe commented it and it was like, oh, my God, this is like so nice or something. And then I see the gigglers being like, it's a, like, the one time I, like, say I like something and I like messed it. Page six needs to get something else needs to happen on reality TV. Like, come on. Well, they also like to take things factually when it's, it's full of a, it's a bit. It's full of a bit. You can't just take half of the bit and post it somewhere.

Again, this is my personal diary. Well, shout out to Cloke. We love you. No. And I'm sure her perfumes are amazing. She is a celebrity. Like, you know, when you look at a celebrity and you're like, like Claire Daines, you look at a celebrity and you're like,

there's something about you that I'm scared of and I don't want to be on your bad side. When I look at Chloe Kardashian, there's something about her that I'm like, I bet your house smells so good. I know that for a fact. There's just something about her where I'm like, I bet she smells so phenomenal. Well, I watched her, I rewatch her Netflix show where they organize her house. Oh. Oh.

And she's like, they basically were like, we don't even have to be here because Chloe's already insanely organized, but we're going to organize her organized house. And when I'm bored and don't want to clean my own house, which is every day, I'll watch organization shows. It's like my version of porn. It's like, I can't do that, but let's watch people who can. Or like it's your version of like a motivational speaker. Yeah.

And then I never start the business. It's your Tony Robbins. Where has he been? People won't talk about him enough. Good. Go to sleep. I feel like there was like a time like in the early 2000s, late 90s where there was like a lot of male motivational speakers happening. Well, there still are.

Now they're podcasters. He has a podcast for sure. Yeah, that's true. I want to bring back the word baloney. Like when someone is like, just like full of baloney. It's baloney. Someone says something, baloney. That's baloney.

Do you remember in high school? Say baloney again. My story is about baloney. Spell it. B-A. No. Okay, there's... B-A?

Even I wouldn't have said B-A. There's the Italian version and then the American version. B-A-L-O-N-E-Y American, but the Italian is B-O-L-O-G-N-N-A. Bologna. I'm going to fact check that one. How did you spell your Italian version? B-O-L-O-G-N-A. No, the American was B-A.

No, none of them in no version ever. Is it B-A? Okay, how do you spell B-O-L-O? It's B-O. What are you Googling? I didn't, I stopped. Well, we just had an alphabet bet face off on giggly squad look don't tell me to spell shit because i actually am good at

why does it keep becoming a bolognaise because you're hungry okay you know what fuck you i'm going to i'm going to tell me i have my period and i don't wait i got my period this morning oh no no that's not a good sign that means the gigglers have synced up and that's actually a Ponzi scheme. Like that's a real problem. Well, Des yesterday said, are you PMSing? And I said, okay, if this is me PMSing, just like questioning if we should go to the, eat the same food two nights in a row, I must be a fucking angel.

If this is so bad, me PMSing. And he's just like laughing. And then the morning I'm like, I got my period. He's like, I know. And I was like so mad. He was right. I don't think you're meaner with your period. you just notice things better.

Like other things that I just like go by when I'm PMSing, I'm like, why would you say it in that tone though? I'm more in tune with shit. Yeah. Like I'm like feeling everything. I'm clocking? I'm clocking. All of it. I was like, I think I'm just too nice when I'm not PMSing.

I think PMSing is when like. Like the words have come out of my mouth where I'm like, yeah, sorry, that was crazy. and I had my period and I apologize. You know what it is. It's that you can find a problem with everything in this life. And three weeks out of the four, I don't. I choose the high road. But that one week I'm PMSing, I'm like, and that's wrong.

And that's wrong. And I'm annoyed. You know, and men are like, women can't run the country because, like, they PMS and they'll just like blow somewhere up and, like, get into a fight with some country. Like, I do feel like that about myself, though. I thought you were going to say something empowering. I thought you're going to be like, you go, keep me away from the nuclear weapons.

Because you know what? If I was the president and someone pissed me off, you know, here's the thing, though, I would have a lot of AIDS. Like, my mom would be the first line of defense of, like, Paige, I think that's, like, an extreme, like, decision. So I'm not worried.

But, like, sometimes when I hear people say that, like, about women, I'm like, I do do crazy shit when I have my period. You know, do you know I wanted to be president when I was little? Like, I wanted to be the first female president. And then I realized later in life that I don't want to be a liar. Only men can do that. Yeah, like men are good politicians because they lie and they're fake. Yeah, here's the thing.

You can never be fake. It's actually so annoying. It's actually ruined. A lot of my... Wait, because can I please... Ever now then, a TikTok comes up of like a clip of you on a reality TV show. And there was one where someone was like, Paige's ability to not speak at certain times needs to be studied.

And I actually, as a student of the game, rewatched this and was like, how many times would I have taught a failure meeting? But this is the thing. When I would be there with you, I'd be like, is she spacing out? Like, how does she not say anything? I didn't realize that you're playing chess while I'm out here playing checkers and you're waiting for the confessional to give the day. You're writing notes in your head, one-liners.

But Paige, how are you in a scenario watching something and you just let it happen without speaking up? I know a clip that you're talking about. And I remember that moment. Why didn't you speak up? I hate to break it to you. I was spacing out during that. Do you want to know exactly what it was? I had just gotten my eyelashes done and I hated them.

Okay? And there were parts that were poking me in my eye. And so I know through that entire conversation, I caught the tail ends because I was, I was like, I know for a fact that my eyelashes look ridiculous. People love cutting up clips of your reactions to think be like, Paige knows. And I'm like, no, she was thinking about. Completely. Look, I'm never going against good PR, honey. And I'm not trying to expose you because sometimes it is what it is.

Sometimes I will be knowing things. Sometimes you do sometimes a lot of times you are. No, sometimes I do. I am a witch. Like I do feel things. We'd film like a whole day and you wouldn't say a word. Yeah. If you weren't in the mood.

Yeah. But then you'd have a day. I was like, oh, she's, she came to work. She's wearing her prodda. Paige was, when she put together an outfit, I knew someone was about to get yelled at. I was so scared. I was so scared. I had so.

many tells that no one ever picked up on. I was like, I'm in full white, honey. Someone's getting yelled at. I have to look virginal. I have to look bridal. No underliner. You're like, I'm just a fresh young angelic angel. I'm like, me do something evil. I'm an angel. I'm wearing white. I have a peplum top on. One day there is a world where this podcast is just a summer house recap show. And the day that happens, the internet's going to break. The day that happens is the day like my Medicare kicks in. Like, it's time, Hannah, run back the tapes. But, like, one episode could take us, like, four episodes.

We'd be dead before. That's why we're doing it at the end of our lives. Why do you think more people in their 90s don't do, like, heroin and meth? And do, like, crazy shit. What are you talking about, like, I guess they're all. The SDD rate in nursing homes is, like, rampant. Like, people are dying from, like, a... No, they're not dying.

They're just, like, all getting infected. affected because they're all, they're in this like incubus. That's the reality show I want to watch, seeing who Gertrude is going to fuck. Can I tell you something crazy? One of my friends reached out to me, like, not too long ago, who was like, hey, I have this, like, TV show idea. Like, I want to run it by you. And so he's, like, running it by me.

And it's basically that. Like, it's a nursing home, but it's, like, reality TV. Love. And so I, like, put him in touch with, like, some people that, like, I feel like could talk to him, whatever. And this one guy, like, calls me about it. And he's like, hey, like, I've seen this show pitched before. People have tried to make it.

Like, I've seen pilots. I've even seen, like, first seasons of things. And he goes, I'm going to say something that's, like, really unfortunate. And, like, this isn't coming from me. It's just, like, what happens in this specific genre? I was like, okay. He was, like, people don't want to watch. old people on TV because one they're like not as good looking as if you put a bunch of 20 year olds

in a house so people like fall off he was like also like they're not doing anything like they're not we're not tracking anything because like they're so old like they are going to do okay well I have I have thoughts and like people can watch someone like a love on the spectrum and not feel that way but when it comes to like older people where like they're maybe dying because of just old age people tend to find like the lack of empathy okay but if you need drama there's no much better drama than being like where's mildred and they're like she's not coming to breakfast tonight that's so hard and someone's like she owes me $20 but like as someone who is like I love watching hot people on TV it's like my favorite thing I think this guy's wrong

because one, what's it called when they're in the water doing their exercises, like jazzercise? Yeah, like aerobics, water aerobics. That gets crazy. They always have different talents come in. So like they get different talent. You would just need a cast of like, you would just need it to be phenomenally casted. But Paige, it's going to be like below deck where who are the people working in the work in the nursing home? Well, I think that would actually be a better. So you're actually following the people who work for it. but then you get all the comedic timing of old people who don't give a fuck.

I mean, my grandpa went on Summerhouse and looked at the camera and said, I hate the Hamptons. Actually, a good show for that would be like how they film the office. It almost be like a fake documentary style of a nursing home. And it's cute where like you come in a Saturday community and be like all the people. Look at us having a business meeting on Gagley,

guys, sorry. By the way, this is what it's like to get on a Zoom with us as a production company. and like 40 minutes later they're like, we actually do scripted. Today we were in a meeting. Look, sometimes we're in meetings and like sometimes they're think tanks,

they're brainstorms. We're like, what can we create? What's like the story of our lives? And sometimes Hannah will throw out the most insane things and she'll be like, yeah, and I sent my friend and everyone knows it's me.

And it's the most insane thing. you've ever heard and everyone just kind of looks at me like damn she was in a dark place at that time i go i had this friend once who dated a really horrible guy and i would send her articles and i'm just like oh my god i'm like was me has anyone ever sent articles to their friend that are like scientific about like what's going on hormonally when they like meet a guy and like what month they start getting annoyed with him and what month like you cannot trust yourself because like you're just on a crazy serotonin high. No, they don't.

That's what I'm going to sit down with my daughter and be like the first four months don't count because you guys are sniffing each other's, you know, armpits. You send me scientific data. Like you send me like Dr. Ashwaganda said. And Stephanie will send me like the most spiritual, like psychedelic. Like this is what your aura is saying. saying right now. So I always get like... Sorry, like to cite my choices.

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who do I think I am but then I got to I got a grilled cheese in my head and I was like, whatever. It takes literally five minutes to make a grill cheese. You're a chef. I'm a chef. I get up. I make my grilled cheese. I go back to my bed.

Do you put butter or mayonnaise on it? So I put butter in the pan and then mayo on the sides of the bread. You naughty little girl. No, she's crazy. She's zaney. Your dirty dog. I go to bed. Great.

I wake up this morning. I grab my dish from the nightside table. I'm bringing it downstairs. I'm about to make my hot water with lemon before I go to get my micro-needling. I'm having a-suss with you. I'm having the most page morning of page morning. I give kitty a kiss. I give her some food.

We're having a time. I walk in the kitchen and I'm like, it's a little warm. No. And I left the stove on the entire night. Wait, isn't that like how you die? Yeah, I could have blown up. No, but also from the CO2, don't you have like a thing to alarm? to go off if that oh like carbon monoxide yeah carbon oxide poisoning oh now you're now you're gonna be

googling side effects of carbon monoxide but is carbon monoxide fire so anyway don't leave your oven on it's really really really really unsafe this is why you don't cook okay now i'm like to have to air out the whole yes open but i feel like if you were going to die from carbon dioxide it would happen last night like i think if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger Like now you're like Spider-Man. Like you could probably like grow walls now or something. You know those women who's like husbands try to poison them but they don't do enough? So it's like their body just like absorbs it.

Like I feel like I'm the type of woman that like a man would have to try and kill me like so many different times. It'd be like a funny movie. Like every time I just like weirdly get out of it. Or you'd be like, hmm, I think I fix something. Suddenly I have more energy I've ever had before. Right. Like they inject me and I'm like I was actually. testosterone deficient. There was a documentary, shoot, where was it? I think it was Argentina. I think it was

Argentina about this old lady who, oh my God, she started killing all her friends because she started her own Ponzi scheme. Oh, I look at all of everything's coming together what we've been talking about today and um she basically would get them to lend her money and then she she started a Ponzi scheme within her tea club like her mahjong group basically she got them all to lend her money and then once they started saying like hey can i have my money back she would poison them and kill them but they're like all like 80 so the first one dies and everyone's like yeah an 80 person died and then two weeks later another one of them dies because she like fell and everyone's like all right and then a third one dies and no one thinks of anything but then finally they start to realize that

every old person who died is owed um she owes money to and she was literally like putting little bits of stuff in their tea and killing all her friends oh my god yeah but she still says it wasn't her because they don't actually have the evidence but they're like three old ladies who are in your coffee club eating biscuits with you you owe them all 20 grand and they're all dead And she's like... This is recent or like this is an older documentary? This is like, it was 20 years ago when it happened. Oh, so she's dead.

I think she might still be alive. I don't know. I don't like Google stuff after. I wonder if she was like 80. But I love how when women kill, they do it. They do it tastefully. It's just always shocking when a woman does something. But I hate that it gives the men like any...

Well, you know what I would say? Not all women. Not all women. Also what was pissing me off is I watched Laney Wilson's documentary on Netflix. Yeah, I saw that. She's so cute and she has a big ass, so I feel like really connected. I'm like, she's one of us. She's one of us.

And she's... How do you love L. Fanning? I've never thought about L. Fanning's butt. I thought you just said that you love the Fanning sisters. I do, but not, but I wasn't, I wasn't like sexualized. her but oh because everyone says like el fanning has like their best body i mean she has an amazing body i have to check out her butt after this thank you i'll put them my to-do list look am i a country girl not really but i i appreciate a good music documentary yeah you have red hair yeah

country music's crazy because it's one of those things that they're like it's for the boys yeah they hate women in it it's like how only men could be chefs but women cook and it's like in country music it's for the men it's like stand-of comedy where it's like it's for the men like it's for the men Like I related to her because I felt like women in country music are like females. Really like any women in any sports. I'm sure they have stories for days. Story for a day. But it's just so funny.

Who decided like a genre of music was for men? The men. But I've never like heard a woman sing and been like that would have been better of a man saying it. Right. Never. And then yeah, like all the pop girlies are like killing it. But then if there's like. Like too much guitar, you're like, no, that's a man.

That's a man that sings that about beer. If you sing about beer, you got to be a man. There's also so many, like, subsets of country music. Well, that's why they were so mad about Beyonce. They were like, no, this is not country music. And she's from Houston. Right. So I just want to shout out all the women fighting for their voice in country music.

Also, when I think of country music, I think of the girls. I think of Shania Twain. I think a Dali Parton. I don't think of. I've never thought. You know something that did come across my desk? That was actually, like, quite concerning. Wait, first, did you see that Harry Styles and Zoe Kravitz might be engaged?

Yeah. I feel like the new celebrity thing is, like, after Zendaya did not show her wedding, everyone was like, wait, that's cool. So now everyone's trying to do everything on the down low. Do you think? I think it's more fun to wonder. Yeah, that was so pessimistic of you. But I don't know if they're not sharing it because they're such A-list. celebrities. And he's got to sell a tour, honey. Oh, true. I've also got on a weird TikTok algorithm

of psychics, like telling me the vibes they get from couples. Have you ever gone on that? Yes, I love it. And they're always like, this is, this could be completely false. And this is just based on what I think and what I feel. I'm like, I'm a witch. I knew it. I think she's a Scorpio. I really feel like I could, I would connect with her. Sometimes I see her in clips and I'm like, that would be my friend. She's a nepo baby that people don't talk shit about because she's such a cool nepo baby. Like her parents are so cool that they're like, you should be in front of the camera. Yeah. Lenny Kravitz is somewhere like, say it. I dare you. That's what I want to watch. That's, that's celebrity. Lenny Kravitz and Charlize Taron. Yeah, those are A-list celebrities.

We're losing the art of A-list. And I don't, that's sad to me. We've lost club culture. I don't. I don't want to lose the art of like an a-list celeb. Because A-liss want podcasts and podcasters want to be A-Lis. No. It's gotten gray. Stop, guys. It's gotten gray. But then there was like a blind item, weird rumor

that was like Taylor Swift was mad that Zoe Kravitz was dating Harry Styles, but I forgot that Taylor Swift even dated Harry Styles. But also I'm like, she's engaged. I doubt you would be mad. I have a good question. Yeah. In terms of your friends and who they dated, is there an

inspiration date. Like how long has to go by before you're cool with them dating an ex? You know, Hannah? What a crazy question. Phenomenal question. And I truly think every situation is unique because there are men that I dated for years that if my closest friend called me and said, hey, I'm going to hook up with him, I would not care. I would less than not care. I would be worried for her and I'd give her all my concerns but it'd also be like I couldn't give a flying fuck. I've also dated nice guys that I'm like I'm not the one for you but like I really want you to meet someone and I have some friends if you like to talk totally and then it's like I have a

situation ship that like we could have hooked up five times and if someone called me and said they were going out on a date I would melt to the ground I'd be like no you can't do that to me No, that's such a good point because we're all just like energies like meeting each other, but there's certain people in your life that you're like, that's my man forever. Yeah. Like there's definitely certain men that I'm like, we never dated, but like we dated. We dated. You know we dated and I know we dated and we have like a weird, you know, but like we never actually dated.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Also, I think things get so changed so much when you cross over into your 30s because relationships go quicker. If you dated a guy and then your friend starts dating him like a couple years later, then you do look at her funny like, okay, the whole time were you like eyeing him? Like, were you even giving me good advice? Like you start just like thinking about that.

Yeah. I also feel like if you have a crush on your close friends man, that will hurt your relationship with her because like you can't act normal. Right. And I also think that's why it's important to be in relationships like me and you. where we have such opposite taste in men. It's so funny. Anyone that I would go for,

you would be like, that's adorable. Yeah. Every now and then, you'll dabble in my kind of man. And I will be like, why the fuck did you do that? That's a horrible idea.

Well, because any guy that I've dated that I've really liked, like, because there's some I've dated that I'm like, wait, I hated you the whole time and that's that says more about me than you. hate and love are close emotions.

And like that's my own trauma. But the guys that I've had like the best relationships with are the men that love how girly I am. Oh my God. That's why no man has ever been attracted to both of us too. But I'm like just thinking of like what relationships I would categorize as like those were learning lessons. That was actually a good healthy relationship.

Wrong timing or like this was a bad relationship. Like when I look back. on my life of dating, you can, you really can see the level of like either mental illness or the level of confidence. And it's kind of crazy. Well, we talked about this before, but I think seesawing is so real. Whatever happens in your last relationship, you search, like, you overcompensate for the opposite. And then you keep seesawing until you find that like middle ground.

Your balance. Exactly. Exactly. But it's also interesting as you get older, like people get divorced. stuff like that. There's so many, I think you don't even have to be in a small town, though. Because L.A. and New York, I feel like that happens all the time. But I guess, no, L.A. is like a small town because, like, they're all fucking famous people all fuck each other. So there's a lot of like, oh, he's now with her ex-husband. I'm nervous and scared, but excited for the T in like 10 years when we get to the point where, like, everyone's getting divorced.

It's going to be crazy, but also in power. It's going to be really empowering. I love when girls divorce. I feel like it's so exciting. And then also like there's a whole crop of divorced men who are pre-trained and so tired from being yelled at and like had court order therapy that are like coming out of that relationship better. Like I have one girlfriend.

I have one girlfriend and she's single and we'll like talk about dating or whatever and she'll say like, no, no, I'm second wife energy. Like I. And I just kind of love it like because she's like, I know what I want and what is going to happen for me. And, like, my energy is second wife. And I'm fine with that and I'm waiting for that. And I'm like, okay.

That's so good. I actually just thought of something of why I feel like I've never, I've never double-dipped with a friend. And I think it's because I'm too competitive. No, not competitive, but prideful. Because my thing is I never want to be with a man who didn't choose me the first time. Yeah. And that is what you should remember.

Be like, at the end of the day, he saw you and the friend and picked the friend. You weren't like whatever that you weren't chosen first don't be chosen second like and I think that's why like even if I like thought a guy was cute and he started hitting on my friend I'd be like not the one for me move on my competitiveness has gotten me in some pickles indeed yeah because you want to like show off in a way and then you're like I'm like you don't like me that I got just wait on it wait on it and then I'm like Um, mom. I didn't like me because he's fucking crazy. Can you help me get out of something really quick?

Locked up. No, it's so crazy. Two of a refrigerator. In so many words, I'm always calling my mom every day asking, can you help me get out of something? Like, that is the general vibe. I'm like, can you help me with this? It is. I do, like, I don't want to annoy my husband and my mom with too many scenarios.

but then you know when you probably should have just called them in the beginning, but you're like, I'll deal with it by myself. Sorry, I was just looking up because I couldn't think of what was the, what was the baloney company that was like really? And it was Oscar Meyer. I couldn't think of the name. Oh, that you loved. That was really annoying me because I'm pretty sure I have a memory of my childhood of me singing,

of going on the Oscar Meyer Weiner car. If I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner. That is what I truly want to be And if it was an Oscar Marweener Everyone would be in love with me I just I was it was annoying me The entire You singing a hot dog song

No one would have guessed That would happen on this pot Everyone's mind is blown Yeah I need to call my mom after Because I don't know what this memory is I'm having a memory and why were we in a parking lot And why was the Oscar Meyer Weiner truck there And why do I kind of remember

wearing ballet flats. I have another question for you. Yeah. I love all animals. Like, I know I'm a cat person, but I also like dogs sometimes. When I'm walking past a dog park, I'm walking up to the fence to look at the dogs in the dog park. But then recently, I started to be like, am I fucking creepy that I don't have a dog? And I'm just looking at other people's dog.

Dog park. I would say if it was a playground, yeah. dog park no but like when you're just like watching other people's dogs and like you feel weird when you do it every day that is weird yeah i live right by a dog park and every time i have to i there's this little dash on i'm kevin who i love i want to steal kevin actually no i don't think that's weird i don't think that's weird but like if you brought your dog to dog park and a and a couple keeps coming and like trying to get attention from your dog i'd be like get your own fucking dog i think you'd be like trying to sex traffic me yeah um did you see billy elish said that uh you can't

claim to love animals and then eat them why you try to ruin my weekend because i was just wondering as an avid animal lover as you're oh you love animals so much eat tofu bitch oh you love animals sorry i hate vegetables though you said you couldn't be fake in the beginning of the pod that you said you couldn't fake it. Oh my God. I love when you call me out. It makes me so happy. No, she's right.

Because you think? She's right. And it's like when I eat meat, I lie to myself and I like eating meat like not like, I like when it's like a hot dog. Like I can't look at it and be like that's the head of a pig. Like I like to, I lie to myself. Like I'm eating brief jerky and I'm like, this is just a little lollipop of protein. So if when something looks too. Like that's the leg of it.

Yeah, I can't. And look, I wish every animal would live. I wish every animal would live. I haven't thought about this, so I don't have a formal PR statement. So Us Weekly, shut up. Don't say anything. I just kind of feel like. Peter's going to come for you.

What are you going to say? I just kind of feel like I'm a human. And to survive for millions of years, humans have eaten animals. And there is no. if you do a no animal diet for the rest of your life, I would assume that you have to supplement those vitamins with something else. And if not, I would assume that that could be really like detrimental to your health.

Like if you're iron deficient, I feel like eating at steak once in a while is good. But I also, it is a privilege to not be able to eat meat and like get all your nutrient. like to be able to be like, well, I go to Airwan and I get the tofu salad, whatever. Because if you're just eating chips every day, like, you're not going to make it. I'm not trying to alienate the vegetarians. I can just say that I have never thought about being a vegetarian for even a second.

I just, I wish we could be more organized about it. Like, I would so be down if we were like every Monday, no one eats meat and it saves this many animals lives. Like I'm more about like, how do we make it the least wasteful as possible where we're not just like, killing animals we don't need to kill okay i can support that the vegetarians have to be more organized and because now it's like one-offs i don't know maybe they do have meetings without me they need to have a PR strategy meeting for sure their PR is bad it's all over the place they're pure it's a damn ass we need a consensus like a short statement of what is their thesis like what are they standing for

and it's giving like how feminist everyone thinks like every used to think feminists were just like angry women who wear um cut off shirts you know one thing what a lumberjacks wear what a lumberjack? overalls? yeah overall you know one thing that really grinds my gears is when people are like she's a bad feminist like I just feel like it's another thing for women to be mad at women about it's like okay now she can't even be a girl good enough well you know it's someone was talking about on TikTok, which makes it real, that men are in the defensive.

They just have to defend their power where we have to be in the offensive. And when we're fighting each other as women, plus we're trying to take, it's so complicated because we're like, you're not even fighting the right way. And where men just have to protect. Yeah. They just have to protect what they have. So us trying to gain is so much more complicated. And feminism PR is fucking horrible.

Yeah. Because, yeah, they all think that we just like lumberjacks. we hate men when we just want equal opportunity and we hate men. I'm just so mad that I didn't spell baloney right. Wait. This is the thing though, learning how to take a L will make you more successful in the long run. And that's my mental health moment of the week.

Oscar Meyer B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Yeah, that's the time version that I gave. I gave you two versions, both correct, with the like in a sentence and you still were like no i gave you the pronunciation i'm just not so you're trying to find an article while b a l-o-n-e-y-y-y-y is the common spelling for the pronunciation which i spells you're not winning this argument why you keep making me look better every time you fight it you're proving my point honestly i've said that in so many relationships hannah oh my god i've never heard that back to myself oh my god i've never

heard that back to myself i've actually never said that line before was it good yes that hits i'm so proud of myself you're making my point you're proving my point i've actually heard you say that you're proving my point i needed that hannah's heard me fight through walls before and that's actually like my favorite lore ever okay that's all the time we have page won't let's fight through wall and at first i was like i shouldn't hear this then I realized oh I need to be in on this then I started texting you're like no you're not crazy that was valid I literally watched him gaslighter and I was like no no no no no stay with your point you you were right don't turn stay with your gut on that is every woman's dream to be in a fight with her man and have her friend on speed dial like basically you were my we were in a boxing

ring you were my coach I was coming back cut me cut me you were put me you were put pouring water in my mouth, fixing up my cuts and being like, get back in there. Your point was valid. That was the ultimate friendship because at first I felt like it was like listening to two people have sex. I was like, I feel wrong about this. And then I was like, she needs me. Like this is an opportunity. It's so funny because in the beginning I was nervous.

I was like, and Hannah can probably hear this. And then 10 minutes into it. I was like, and I hope she's listening. Because I feel like that was a great line that she would appreciate me. I was my best friend. Nothing feels better than like he. you're in your best friend. Stand up for herself?

Yeah. You're like, fuck yeah. Yeah, I'm like, go harder. Go harder. And then you want to jump in. I'm like, tag me, bitch. Tag me. Anyway.

I also have to apologize to the academy for one last thing. I've been doing this thing back to my headphones where like, people were going to Zoom and like you can't hear the person. You're like, I can't hear you and you get all frustrated and you're like, they're clearly wrong. And then you realize the whole time that your thing wasn't plugged in. and then you have to pretend that you like clicked something crazy to make it work. I do that too often to people.

I've done it to you. Raise your hand. Have you been personally victimized on a Zoom by me being like, can't hear you. Fix your side. Yeah. I've been personally victimized on a Zoom more than once in one day by you. Like.

Wait, why are Zoom's so chaotic? I feel like I've gotten on a Zoom and you've been like, no makeup today. Got it. Okay. It's a two separate meetings today. One in person, one not. And I literally was L Woods being like, I wasn't aware there was an assignment.

Actually, I'm unprepared for both of these things. That just happened to me. I went a meeting and they go, did you send, did you get the slides? And I said, no, but my class. No, normalized being like, no, fuck. I didn't look at it. But then normalized being like, I didn't get the slides. Let's reschedule this.

I'm not about to just do this meeting to do this meeting if I didn't have the proper information. And sometimes, moral of today's episode, you don't have the proper information. Sometimes you were not. Nobody prepped you. No one prepped you properly. Wait, the Elwood scene when she goes, did you read the book? And she's like, I actually was unaware that there was an assignment. That scene shaped my young adulthood.

I wake up in the middle of the night sweating, thinking that I forgot there was some reading and all summer i didn't read and then i showed up on the first day to a british woman being like and she gets kicked out of class i was like devised i was so hurt in that moment for her and but also why didn't she have a computer like everyone else had a computer that felt like she did the outfits like how much can she do she put all her money in her vintage she brought a moving truck to harvard okay okay we love you guys thank you for giggly with us we'll talk to you later Bye.