Giggly Squad - Giggling about boy moms, being amish, and brazilian waxes

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Paige has a surprise for Hannah and we stand with the wife of the live climber.Special thanks to Dunkin' for supporting this episode!watch our youtube docuseriessubscribe to our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Got away from me. Okay, we got a recommendation from Paige on this one. Welcome, my Glendale Gigglers. The whole of your people.

My people. It's like an old Kardashian reference. I always forget to sometimes pick up my microphone. Yeah, yep, your little pink microphone. We're back, baby. We got our Dunkin Refreshers. We're back. We're a little late.

we had a snowstorm, things were happening. I'd like to jump right in with some things that have annoyed me thus far in my week. I love this because literally when I tell you we've been holding back, the two episodes a week is giving me life. I've never had more shit to say. Get on it. I actually think it's making me more present in my everyday life because I'm like, I'll be talking to someone.

I'll be like, sorry, can you repeat that? Because I'm going to talk about it on my book. The amount of times I don't respond to someone and just start writing in my notes up They're like, are you okay? I'm like, this is going to be perfect for something. I can't get into it right now. I'm curating content for the genders. I also have a small surprise for you, like when we get into it.

Like, not even a surprise. Like something I need to read to you. Anyway, first and foremost on my docket. Like, I have a surprise. I can read. Continue. I'm sorry. She's like, I figured out a sentence.

I sounded out some words and you know it forms a sentence. Somebody said to me the other day like, oh, the how to giggle book. And I go, the what? He go, the book, my friend wrote. Oh, the book my friend wrote. Yeah. Oh, you mean last year? You mean last year?

I'm talking about 2026, baby. That was last fiscal year I've moved on. My first gripe, because I think it happened like right after we recorded last week, did you see the live climber? I knew you were going to say that. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. So I'm with Alecoburn on the road and we're waiting

to go on stage and she goes, oh, this guy's like climbing and we put it on in the green room. Of course, every girl is just like go to therapy. Every girl is like the things men do instead of going to therapy. What were your thoughts? I thought it should be illegal

first of all. I thought this seems like a huge liability for Netflix. They just bought another company. This guy dies. It's all it's all done. No, at the end, he's just standing on top of it. And I'm like, at any moment he could sneeze.

A bird could hit him in the head. Like, also, if he were to die, I mean, I guess they had, like. I guess they'd cut the camera. It must have been delayed a little. Yeah. But, like, that would have traumatized a generation. When he got to the top, I go, now how's he getting in the building? That's what I was like, is there a helicopter coming?

How's he getting down? Also, the things men do to not take care of their feet. family, like spend some quality time with your children. And then having his wife watch, like he's at war or something, was strange. There are men that will literally throw a fit if their wife goes on like a girl's weekend. And this man's like, hey, babe, so I might die tomorrow. You're good with the kids though, right?

Like, what the fuck? I wonder if they asked the wife, like, can you watch if she was like, no, I have a family to take care of. I can't watch my husband like rock climb. I think there was one like sound bite that she gave that. She was like, yeah, like he said, he talked about this when we were dating. I didn't think it was serious. I thought it was a bit.

I thought it was a joke. No, the things that men will truly do to not just speak to someone who went to school to become a professional, psychiatric helper is crazy. Like call your mom, call your dad, talk some of these like child. like childhood things through. Anyone. Call up your nearest pizza delivery person. Have a quick chat and figure it. I mean, this.

I just, I actually was so mad watching it. At one point I go, turn it off. Turn it off. I hope this guy fucking fall. I was so pissed. Well,

I hate to say it. We have no connection to this man. I don't know who I'm going for. Is he the villain? Did he do something wrong and he's trying to escape? Is this Godzilla? Like, watching here.

Here's the other thing. I felt like a mom because I was like, okay, now if my child turned on Netflix clicked this and then all of the sudden thought he could scale our home, I'd be livid. And God forbid the guy fell and my child is sitting there like, huh? Like I just thought it was such a weird. Are trying to like climb their dresser right now and it's like this, we don't need this. It was a weird flex on Netflix's part, but like, It also is annoying me because it did well, so people love fame.

So next thing the men are going to like. There's going to be weird shit doing like, I'm going to go underwater for 72 hours. No, like let's just practice empathy. Let's practice empathy. Love thy neighbor. Let's practice empathy as a country. Let's like, let's calm the fuck down. Also, you know that when she was first dating him, he was like talking of his ass.

Like, I love climbing. And she was like, cool. I love a guy with a goal. And passion, you know. A hobby. You will. Yeah. Like, you see a challenge and you, and you know she was sitting there like, how the fuck did we get here?

Like, she was thinking about that other guy on Hinge who was like, I'm not really outdoorsy. And at first she thought it was boring. And now she's like, that would have been nice. She's like, I could have been with a shoe salesman. Like, I could have been with someone normal. Stop pretending you're outdoorsy on these apps. We know you don't like mosquitoes. We know, yeah, you like a sunset.

That doesn't mean you want to go. camping. Let's just be up front in the beginning because that could be you. This is a warning. You know what's funny? I was talking to one of my friends the other day and she was like, oh, like, yeah, like I did the half marathon and then like one of my other friends was there and was like, wow, like how long did you do it? Like how long was your mile? And she was like, oh, like I think it was like nine minutes. And I go, guys, do you know, I've never ran a mile? And they look at me and they go, You believe it, you can do it. They go, how?

Like, they go, our high school didn't do it. I didn't, I didn't join any organized sports. So who's telling me to run a mile? I've made you walk a mile before against your will. That's different. That's a trick to me. I mean, like, I've never gotten dressed and been like, I'm going to run. Watch me run.

Well, famously, running a mile was my most traumatic event in college. And I promised not to run a time mile since. And I've been able to do that. So if you guys want hope and you want to look towards like something that's motivational and inspiring, Paige and I both haven't ran a mile in a long time. Can I guess what your mile was at your height of like your peak athleticism? Well, this is a sports podcast. Let's go. Don't get me going, girl.

This is my shit. Let's go. Wait, I've been waiting my whole life for this moment. I'm going to say at your peak, you could run one mile. Sprint. In like four minutes and 30 seconds. Okay, that's insane. Is it?

So under four minutes is like the best. The way I love you so much, you're like, well, you're my best friend, you're strong, you're fast. Yeah. Okay, not to get into my dark past, but after you have tennis season, we all have a summer free. And you can stay at the school and train, but not all of us do. Did you? And then I did my first season, like freshman. And then I was, I didn't.

That sounds traumatizing. So when you come back, the coach isn't just like, welcome back guys. He's like, so what did you guys do all summer? And are you ready to play? And we're like, what do you mean? And he goes, it's like survivor. And he's like, okay, we're all going to do the mile test. And if you run more than seven minutes, you're not making the team.

So you're immediately up for an elimination. Wait, more than seven minutes. Yeah. So if you run over seven minutes, you're not. qualify for your scholarship. So my fastest was 615, which for like a sprinter, that's pretty good. And famously, my friend was puking in the bathroom after, so I went in, I started puking, and the whole team started puking.

And that's a trauma bond that you can never undo. And it's women supporting women. And we all felt so light and skinny afterwards. It was truly amazing. You would have loved it. That I would love. So yeah. No, I can't.

I don't ever. That's why like when anyone's ever like, oh my God, you're going to be on traitors or like you should do. I'm like, I'm not running for someone else. That's my thing. Like, I've lived a lot of lives and I'm like, I've done this shit. And the amount of messages I got from the last episode of me explaining the nuances of tennis like, um, rudeness to you made me realize like, like also I was on a team with

seven girls who had to play against each other. Like this was, this was torture. This was torture. Speaking of Traders, I watched the first episode. Well, I fell asleep, but I like started the season. I watched the first episode. Yeah. It's so much funnier now that I know the Colton lore to go back and like be starting the season.

Because in the very first episode, he kind of says, here's the thing with, here's my thing with like men that I think. You are so locked in on Colton. You're like, you're not getting away from me, bitch. You're not getting away from me, okay? I don't even know Cassie, but I stand with her. Here's my one thing that I've learned over my many years of dating that I used to like overlook in men. This also would, I would say goes for friendships too.

If someone has to repeatedly tell you who they are, it's a quick lesson that that is not who they are. Not who they are. That's who they want to be and they like probably try and be that version of themselves, but that is not them. Like if you're dating a guy and he's like, I'm a really nice guy. I'm just a nice guy. I'm a really good guy.

I'm like, no one said you weren't. Why are you saying that to me? I'm just, you know, I'm just stupid. I get myself in these. I don't. It's like, no, you're evil. You're manipulative. And I've, and I've caught you.

Every guy that says they're a good guy is evil. Evil. Continue. And in the first episode. he's going up to like find out if he's a traitor or not and I don't even know what cast member says it like oh you're like you're laughing so much like I wonder what you got what you are like traitor or faithful and he says I'm just a happy guy you'll learn that I'm just I'm in a good mood and then in the that was scary I actually got chills when he said that because first of all no one's happy let's just get that no one's happy you're at work period no one's happy you're a fucking liar you're a fucking liar no one's been happy in the history of civilization in your liar. Then when he goes, everyone says, like, how did you, like, play in the NFL? First of all, you barely played in the NFL. Second, he was like, people think, like, oh, I'm so big and mean. How did I hit people?

We know, what are you talking about? Yeah, you stalk someone. That's the, I rather you be in the NFL, get CTE, because you got hit so many times than ever stalk anyone, you literal freak. Anyway, I don't even know if I can continue because he makes me so angry. And here's another thing. And this is the last thing I'll say. You ever like meet a girl and like people will say like this is only a phrase for women because people hate women. But where there will be like she has crazy girl eyes. Like you ever meet a girl and you're like, oh, yeah.

Now I usually make that person my best friend because I'm like, you're a little bit crazy. I was about to say that's the only people I surround myself with because I'm about to have a good time. I'm like you're a little bit nuts. I'd like to see what you do. he has crazy guy eyes like he has the eyes where you're like oh like you'll slit my throat he's scary anyhow and so i hope you guys are enjoying traitors so i hope you guys you're loving it also on a lighter note i we've decided that if you want to name your baby and you're confused you dm page i realize i i've had it maybe once before it's too much responsibility for me like i feel like that's too much of a heavy

burden for me to carry yeah um i'm gonna be honest the pages though they come pretty they're coming to me with prepared pretty good names i would say there's a handful of times where i'm like i don't we got to start at the drawing board again i don't know if that's flowing the way you think it's flowing but most of you don't know these people she could be like that was my like dead grandma's name sometimes they'll say in parentheses family name i have to and i'm like okay yes now i rarely ever read a DM from a giggler like it's not my vibe it's not like something we do on giggly squad but i got a DM from this girl and i'm not going to say her name because we want to keep her anonymous and she was like I don't know what of my friends listen to giggly squad so please keep

this like kind of anonymous and I'm like I'll see what I can do because we were talking about like Victoria Beckham and I love to talk about a boy mom because I think they're just like so incredibly scary I get this message my boyfriend and I met in college and we have been together for over six years we're best friends and plan to spend our lives together I really like his family and I've spent lots of time with them but I've always felt a weird energy from his mom. She's very kind to me and I think she respects me, which almost makes it more confusing for me. Over the years, she's implied on several occasions that time with me isn't real family time and doesn't seem to respect my boyfriend choosing to spend time with me and my family when it conflicts with her time.

We live far away from home, so trips to family take planning. Over the holidays, she tried to get him to change his plans to stay with her longer instead of sticking to our original plan to visit my family. He did stand up to her that time and followed our plan. What pushed me over the edge is I just found out that I'm no longer invited on the family trip. I was originally told I could come, but months ago, she said I was welcome, but over the holidays, it was clear I wasn't included. My boyfriend finally asked her directly and she said it would be too expensive and it's

just for family this time. then added, I'd be included once we were engaged or married. This really upset both of us. He's talked to her about it and expressed his frustration, but he's still going on the trip. I worry that expressing disappointment isn't enough of a boundary, and I wish he'd say we're a packaged deal and not go without me. Is it unreasonable to want that?

Do you think a ring actually changes anything would love your advice? Now I... This is why you have to find a guy whose parents are dead. I love a peaceful life. I go to sleep with rainbows and butterflies. Whenever there's a holiday, I pretend I don't know what we're going to do. And I'm like, who's house should we? And then I'm like, oops, mine again.

Like, this is why I, um... I was sure. I'm his number one woman. I'm his number one. I wake up and I say, who's your number one? And he says you. And I said, thank you. But, um, look, my message to the mom, who's another woman in the arts, so we have to support

her as well, is that I understand you. loving your son so much, you will push him away. Yeah. If you don't do things that will make him happy. And this is, because by the time she has a kid, you don't want her being like, fuck your mom. We're not spending time. You know?

I also think that like the guy should change his plans. Like I feel like when you get married, it's normal for the guy to come to your family more. if you're close with your family. Like I fully expect my husband to come with my family more often than his family because I'm the girl. And like that because...

I think wherever the girl's family is, you have to prioritize it. It's happening in my family's life. Like my brother, right, fucking sucks because we're so close but we respect his wife. And what makes her happy so she could be the best mom.

To their children. Right. To your literal. surrogate daughter to my surrogate daughter so it's like whatever the girl wants but it's one thing if like he goes through girls all the time right like they were dating there were your brother yeah you're like okay not this one again and me having to pretend to care and have conversation and make shit up the situations gary has put me in i could really i'd actually like to sue like there's so many times where i'm like really see you in small claims court gary no see you in small claims court and then yeah so this is

this is actually very common, I feel like. It really is. And look, some moms do want to have sex with their son. And that's something that's like above our pay grade. Like therapy pay grade. What I said to her was one, this is fucking crazy. Two, you're absolutely right. He should not go on the trip.

If you had said to me like, oh, we've been dating for a year. We've been dating for two years. Like maybe I could see that. But six years and you've gone on other family vacations. I think it's very odd to be uninvited. I also feel like, and I didn't say this to her in the messages, but I will before the pod comes out. Because I don't want her to be blindsided on Kigley Squad.

I feel like a lot of boy moms have in their head who they think their son should end up with. And it's this like mythical creature. I got hit with this in my like mid-20s. It was the first time ever I'd had like a boy. where me and the mom didn't like vibe. And I feel like my first boyfriend ever, his mom set the precedent of like, this is how mom should be.

And she was so cool. So I never had an issue with moms. Then I was like 24, 25 and I dated this guy. And one time we were out to dinner with his family. And we had a waitress, like a normal girl waitress. And she would come over to the table and do her job. And the mom looked at my boyfriend and said, the waitress is stunning. isn't she?

And then like would hit him. Oh, you almost Teresa Jude-Iced that table. And I remember turning and being like, what the fuck? Come to find out. I remember learning that she thought that I like was not good enough for him whatsoever, that she felt like I was like uneducated. And I was like, wait till I go on a reality show you stupid bitch. It was like my first time ever seeing a mom hate you just because.

you're dating their son and it's a slippery slope. I feel like with moms, there's three different directions. The first one is you meet the mom and you go, that's why he likes me. Yes. She's that girl. She's me. I would have been friends with her. We are friends.

Actually, I prefer her to him. Actually, me and her are complaining about him. Actually, like, I love this woman. I will text her after we break up. So you're kind of like, oh, I love this because I see what he sees in me because he loves his mom. Two, some guys are trying to break familial trauma where you meet his mom and you realize you're the opposite of his mom and he's rebelling against her to be like, I don't want this in my life anymore. And you might be more like his dad. I don't know, but he might be trying to break

RIP, Des his mom. Yeah. Do you think you're similar to Dez's mom? Well, I actually think Des and his mom are very similar and that's why I would have loved her Got it Like she is him Like I am like my dad And also No I just

All the time I'm like What she would have loved me And he's like I don't know He's like holds it over in my head He's like she wouldn't like that You didn't fucking do your bed this morning I'll tell you that She wouldn't have liked you getting all chatty in the

Whatever he can use it against me But um So this Then there's the mom. Yeah. And then lastly, there's the mom who is like just not like you don't connect at all. And you go, oh, he's chosen wrong. Like he's picked wrong.

And like he's into me for whatever reason, but I'm not his end person. Because like I don't fit in with this family. But there are so many families that you might not fit in with. But he's like breaking the cycle of whatever family issues there are. Families are fucking complicated. So complicated. All right. The Beckham's.

Right. On the Beckham's. It's crazy. I do want to say I got a DM of a gorgeous giggler who had, and I'm in the DMs, you know, especially on tour. She rescued three kittens, two were white, and one is like white and black, and she was like, Hannah, what do I name them? Long brainstorming session. We came up with sesame for the black and white one, and then ricotta and coconut. Okay, it sounds like a horrible recipe that would taste disgusting.

It sounds like a chopped recipe. Well, this is the thing also, you guys, when you send me your kitten names, I need to know about you. I need to know where you're from. What's the vibe? I can't just give you cute names. It's like chat. You have to give Hannah like a little background. Yeah, because I'll go off.

I need to know something that connects with you. Also, in my travels, I did something super fucking embarrassing. This girl stops me at the airport. giggler and has the cutest dog and as you know we love dogs if they're cute if they're cute it's like men if they're cute i like them so if they make me laugh the dog fine the dog has this scarf around its neck accessorized gorgeous and i go oh my god it's this woman like a cartoon woman and i go is that judge judy around his neck i go that is iconic and she goes no that's ruth bader ginsberg Okay, you know what?

From the side, that side profile. In a cartoon way, I just came in so confident where I was like, fuck yeah, Judge Judy. We love Judge Judy. And I was trying to be cool. Like, she's having such a fun interaction with me. And she was like, you dumb ass. Read a book.

Like, what kind of feminist icon are you read a book? And I was like, love your dog. I got to go. Love your work, Ruth. If one of your goals for 2026 is to be healthier, then why don't we kick off the new year with a, AG1. One scoop of AG1 supports energy, digestive regularity, immune defense, and a healthy mood. So you'll be ready to take on whatever your 2026 resolution list is. And if you're a little

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and what you think she's going to be. Was she disappointed in you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you didn't do anything, but like overall were you like... Overall, she was like, you could tighten it up. You could figure it out.

Like I feel like, I feel like she was... See, I love that. She was like 10 minutes away from being like, I could hang out with you for a week and I'd have your shit all in line. Like, like... I don't like people that immediately meet you and they're like, I'm obsessed with you. I love you. I'm like, you don't know me.

first of all. Second of all, I know there's room for improvement. Give me notes. She was this close to looking at me and being like, why am I here? And I felt it. And I was like, and I stand with you. In her documentary, her parents were really critical of her and she's very critical, but that's why she's so successful in what she does. Well, I actually was so in awe of her because she's just like she's a legitimate entrepreneur powerhouse of a woman. Like she walks into a room. and everyone straightens up.

I've never been on an Amazon set where things have run as smoothly as they did the day Martha Stewart was there. I was like, you go, oh, so you guys are capable. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, people were running down the hall. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

They're like, do you want lunch? I'm like, when do we, when do we get lunch all of a sudden? No, I came, but friset with frittatas. They were like, we have caviar in the break room. I'm like, what? No. there's Danish scones being prepared right out of the oven I was so nervous to do it and then what I didn't anticipate what because like obviously Inved with pages like it's fun it's cheeky like we're not I'm not asking like hard hitting questions by any means but I wasn't anticipating her asking me things back like questions back so we're so there was this moment where I was wait she loved you she loved you I don't know that means she loved you Or she was just interrogating.

I think she was just like, where I'm here to do a job, let's do the job, like, goodbye. Or she's like, who am I in bed with right now? No one told me. So there was this moment where I was like asking her about like sheets and like, all like, I was like how often do you. As one does. How often do you change your sheets? And she was like, well, first of all, I don't change my own sheets, you actual nimrod.

She was like, well, my housekeeper changes them every two to three days. And I was like, oh my God. That's a lot. And then she like turns and is like, well, how often are you changing your sheets? And I was like very, I was very confident with my answer. I was like, well, I do it once a week. And she was, it was as if I had leprosy. Like I was the most contagious.

I was patient zero. She was like, once a week. Once a week. This is so good. Because the way Martha would have hated me. Wait till you get a load of my best friend. You go wait till I got to make. a wish project next she'll be going through wait once a week is like I thought good overboard it's

overboard she looks at me and she goes you're rich enough to have your housekeeper because then she was like you're I go my housekeeper comes once every two weeks to do like a deep claim also housekeeper strong word we have apartments I have crown molding Hannah she goes you're rich enough to have your housekeeper come once a week like I literally feel like she looked at me and was like you're dirty you're dirty but it was phenomenal but for you need to every now and then have someone you know she insulted me no less than four times and she was right like every time she should you know you're right no you're right oh it's giving it's giving like gymnastics coach like I'm obsessed with that energy and also like maybe you do you're ready to step up like you're not the page in her 20s

let's Martha Stewart this shit one of my biggest revelations though I was like oh my god I can't to hear her answer i was like what when you want to like order food and not cook like what are you ordering she goes i i i've never done that i go friday night you've never ordered a pizza she goes why would i why would i order pizza and i just was i was so flabbered i couldn't even get through because i couldn't have you read one of my books she was like i have an insane garden if i want a pizza i'll make a pizza anywho she's my we have to do it Hannah and Paige try to be Martha Stewart. I'm like, I'm obsessed with her.

Like the attention she commands when she walks into a room and like the level of detail that she's like, no, do it. I'm like, yeah, I'm obsessed. Can I also say when I meet an iconic person like that and they are good at listening and they ask me questions, they're always the best people because so many people just talk at you. especially in like the entertainment industry. So when you're talking to someone who you know, they don't even need to be there. And they take the time to hear what you're saying. I'm like, oh, they're smart.

Like they're still learning at whatever age they're at. They want to know what the kids are doing. They want to learn about different industries. So anyway, Martha, shout out to you. We love you. I wanted to bring up when she said that that woman died, the journalist, but she's not in fact dead. She's just dead to Martha.

Like I wanted to bring that up, but I was just like, I don't know if I should. Like, I'm not at that. level with you yet but like I think about it at least once a week that's the problem with like as a comic interviewing really famous people because one wrong question and the PR is like and you're done we'll never talk to you again so it's this like thin line do you want to know where I've been bombing recently bombing what the elevator and usually I can do a quick elevator joke to anyone yeah and then you leave on a high note you don't have a follow-up

up. What's the happening, babe? I don't know. We need to write some jokes for you. We need a new material. We need to do a writer's room. Now look, I got into an elevator the other day. Man standing there had a dog.

Okay. Woman walks in to the elevator. She also has a dog. I'm not even in the combo. Woman says to the man, so cute. He goes, thank you. I go, she was talking to the dog. They both looked at me.

I go, sorry, this is my floor. I was mortified. I was like, guys, laugh. That's funny. Have a little giggle. That's when you go, tough crowd. Okay, have a good night. I'm here to Wednesday.

Get out of there. I've crossed the line. My apologies. That was kind of highbrow humor. It was quick. It was a misdirection. And a little dad joky. I thought you were going to say, I thought you were going to say thanks to.

Oh, you're talking about the dog. See, that's a door. See, that was just bad audience. Sorry, I was like, sure. I'm doing elevator. Like, guys. You know, anyway. I have such a wide range of personality and elevators.

I'm either, like, deathly, anxious, staring forward. And, like, people, everyone seems like they're staring too close to you. And you're just like, this is the most awkward thing I've ever done in my life. Or I'm with my friend, like, so passionate about a conversation. I'm not even aware there's people around. And I'm like, yeah, because Paige gets yeast infections. If she has, like, anxiety, if she's overworking herself, which, like, I've had, too. when you overwork yourself, it comes out through your body and it can be your vulva.

And then there's the like, someone tries to laugh with me and I'm not really in the mood, but I'm like good enough to be like, okay, we'll have a little back and forth, but like let's not make this a daily thing. Yeah. You know? I haven't brought it up in a long time, but I just feel like the gigglers need to know my recent experience. I have a grandpa story. We were having such a nice time.

Time. And now you're going to cry. But like I did eight cities in 11 days. I'm tired. And I was in Seattle the last night and I get to the hotel. And when I tell you, I put the TV on blasting immediately passed out. Thank God I set an alarm at like to wake up. I wake up and I have all these miscalls from my husband, which. That's terrifying.

Is it? Oh, okay. I was like he was probably like, oh, I guess the ketchup's missing again. When I was, but you're just like, yeah, he's, something's going on over there, but it's definitely not important. He also, he's so cute. He, like, is a sprayed that I will oversleep for a show, which Knock in Woods never happened. So every now he'll call me, I'm like, what's up? And he's like, are you getting ready yet?

And I'm like, okay. Yeah. I've gotten this work. He's like, are you on your bronzer step yet? So I call him. He's like, are you using primer? I'm like, you know I don't use primer. Do you not use primer?

I mean, I put moisturizer on. Got to get the milk. grip primer it's truly the best is that the green one yeah it's in like a iridescany bottle it's the best primer i don't want to go anywhere that my makeup needs to last more than two hours if that's the case like i shouldn't be there but hannah you are oily and you of anyone you should be using a primer and that's for when you told me squad and that's for when you told me that i would use any trend okay that video there was the funniest comment someone goes only your worst enemy or your best friend could say this and that's what giggly squad is

only your worst enemy or your literal sister could say this to you yeah and you also you got shot and then you said but thank you for that wound because i've grown from it i've been maimed but not killed thank you what i've been what i've been maimed means like you're hurt but you're still alive I'm stealing that. That's exactly how I felt. I've been mained, but I'm not killed. So I call Desback, and he's like, what have you been doing? And I'm like, Mama's sleeping.

Mama's working. Mom is busy. And he's like, well, I've been at a social gathering. And there's an older man here who says he knew Jerry Burner. And I said, babe, I have to get ready in 10 minutes for a show. I can't do this. He goes, please, just get on the phone with this guy. And the guy's like, hello?

He goes, I went to school. I went to school. I find yourself in are truly remarkable. He goes, I coach basketball in Brooklyn, and I battled, you know, a lot of, you know, I was a social rights activist and your grandpa was at the top of it and he changed me as a person and he's the greatest guy I ever met. And I love Jerry so much. And I can't believe I'm talking to his granddaughter. No, you're fully sobbing. Sobbing.

sobbing a sweet old man telling me how my grandpa was such a great person because sometimes I'll tell myself like you're literally making him to be bigger than he is like he was a normal guy like stop being sad about it and now I'm like no he was literally my everything and then I'm like do you know I'm his favorite I'm his favorite and he's like that's not important I'm just telling you my experience how did does even happen upon this convo well he's with a bunch of like old guys as they do they find each other and the guy was just saying like I used to coach basketball in Brooklyn. He's like, do you know this guy, Jerry Burner? Oh my God. Jerry Burn. Like, it's so crazy. The world can be so small. So, mind you, it's

545. I take 20 minutes to do my makeup. When you guys see me walk out on stage, I'd been sleeping about 35 minutes before that. And when I got on stage, that's my prime time. That's the first time you've spoken. I'm ready to fucking go. But so 545, I'm sobbing. And not like a beautiful one tier, like Kim Kardashian. I'm crying. Like I'm like heaving every memory is coming back. Because you know I've been suppressing it for a while because everyone told me to stop crying over it, which was valid. But I've been holding it down. I also haven't talked to a psychic recently. So I'm like, this is my grandpa talking through this guy to be like, Hannah, I love you and I miss you. And don't forget that I'm that bitch. And maybe he didn't

like that I talked about Nana so much on the last pod. And he's like, okay, remember like me too. I don't know. I feel like you can like truly ask the universe for like signs. Like, like I really feel like you could be like grandpa give me a sign and it has to be like so specific and like things like that happen oh so i'm sobbing i'm sweating because i just woke up for my like four hour and a half there's lines on my face i actually fell asleep with a bun which you know is a bad idea because then it's all crimped and crazy the car is picking me up in 20 minutes you never put your hair in a bun no something was going on oh because i put a mask wait i do you know that like i don't think i've ever seen you like in a bun.

No. Like you only do a ponytail. Even to sleep, you're either hair down. You're actually, when you sleep, you're always hair down, which is another crazy. I'll do messy bun if I'm hot, but I'm not committing to it. Like, I'll take it out real quick. I've seen you when you're hot. And I've never seen a messy bun.

I've literally, here's, wait, this is crazy. I don't even know how you do your messy buns. Like, I don't know the way your wrist goes. Like, I couldn't recreate it. you're like I don't know who you are and everything's been a lie up until this point. And now that I'm thinking, I really, you only ever do a ponytail if you're like, I do love a ponytail. It's because you guys, I love myself so much. One note, don't love the shape of my face.

It's like a pretty big. I love everything about myself except my general personality. How I look. So when I put it in a bun, I feel like everyone's like, whoa, there's her head. Like, it's just too much head and face. That's why, like, I don't do a fucking slick back bun. I do a slick back pony. Okay.

Like, no. But, like, everyone has their thing. Do you ever claw clip? You could start claw clipping. Yeah, except I like to lay down. I like to sit and claw clips are not good. I know there's something going around, like, claw clip for girls. Again, I support women in the arts.

Is that a new club? It's, like, a thing where, like, you can, like, put your head back with the clip but again, I digress. Also, people don't talk about what best friends do. Like they say, oh, when you're having multiple conversations on different apps, people don't talk about when you're having multiple

conversations on the same text chain where you're literally like both answering multiple things at the same, you know what I mean? Where you answer one story, continue telling you know the story, tell a new topic and the person's also responding. Like, that's my flow state. And men think we can't run the country.

I just had seven conversations in one. In 10 minutes. And like we are, we are knocking it out. So yeah, that is my prime time flow state. I do want to say one thing because I just like I feel different. I feel better than people. I feel like I've been reading my book.

And when I say reading. What page are you on? I'm on like 130. Have you been reading it the right side up? I've been reading it while simultaneously comprehending it. Are you highlighting? I'm not highlighting. because I'm like, I'm not crazy.

When are you reading? Like, what part of the day? I'm going to tell you. So, like, this morning, I woke up, like, early, like, 6.45, 7 a.m. And I'm like, I'm not getting out of bed. And typically, I'll go on TikTok. Like, I'll scroll. I'll, like, look at my apps.

Look at my email. I, like, read for, like, 20 minutes in the morning. And then, like, before bed, like, instead of scrolling TikTok, I'll, like, read, get really sleepy. And then, like, throw something. on the TV and then like immediately fall asleep and I'm like I have a frontal lobe and she's there she's do you know what that's called omish that's so crazy you just fully omish that's so crazy you just said that the show I put on last night was called suddenly Amish yeah and you're about to get asked it's on HBO and it's normal people thinking maybe they want to be Amish so they go test it out we're so

So, a lot. That's genius. That's so funny. That's so scary. No, because I was, honestly,

like Amishness, Amisha, what do they call it? Amish, Amish, I'm in, whatever, it's,

I'm into it. They're onto something. Well, they said that their people are, besides, like, I have a couple notes. Small,

notes. The younger generations are leaving the Amish community, and so they're really dwindling, and so they're trying. Because do you understand what,

like, a discussion, would be when you're Amish, they'll be like, oh, like, well, first of all, I don't know if they know celebrities, but they'll be like, how much milk should we put in this recipe? And they're like, Google it. And they're like, we can't. And then like, you just can't Google things. Like that's, I mean, they don't have electricity. They have to do candles. I don't even think they have running water. And they don't even have scented candles. Maybe they do have scented candles. No, I'm sure they, I'm sure they've mixed something up. Lavender. They mix something.

Yeah. You know what I would be interested in? Um, like, their hair care. Because they've got such long hair like trasmay should really wait you're so right no breakage no breakage and they're going in braids too yeah like what shampoo conditioner there's probably no heat they're not using any they're not dice and air wrapping they don't even know what that is i wonder what they do for like face masks at night they probably use banana do they even know the face masking is a thing no some of them have phones and i feel like some of them are on ticot there is one um Amish girl that I always get tagged with because people say we look alike. So honestly we do.

It's pretty iconic. For the longest. And I mean like probably till I was in high school. I thought Amish and Mormon, same thing. And I mean it's like. I mean, there's a Venn diagram. Yeah. There definitely is.

There's a vendyrograd. They would like each other more than they would like like us, I would say. Anyway, we're not getting into it. Resolutions come and go. But real lasting growth takes time. That's why I love that Nutraful isn't promising a miracle in 30. days. They're here to help you grow your hair and confidence from within one day at a time. Nutraful is the number one dermatologist's recommended hair growth supplement brand,

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supplement brand at Nutraful.com. Spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L-L-L-com promo code.com.com. Promocode giggly. That's neutraful.com promo code giggly. I feel like this is the part of the episode where we always talk like people say we're not organized, but we're actually super organized. It's just like organized chaos. This is when I bring up my one inappropriate like poop fart story. Yeah, like something that you did in public that like should be illegal. Yeah. Not to brag, but I found the one place. I don't fart. This seems like a riddle. The one. the one can you identify the one place that hannah burner doesn't fart like that i'm like this is

actually inappropriate and i'm gonna hold it you're gonna hold it okay not sex church but i'm like you haven't gone that would require going yeah the doctor's office no you'd let it right it's a it's fucking that's what they're here is that normal is that normal wait i need to think wait i really on a plane no you're Wait, no. Because of a plane, you can get away with it. It's so easy. Sorry, that was crazy. Wait, this is actually so you-coded.

Okay, I'm going to give you a clue. Okay. The Kardashians talk about it. It's something you love to do. The Kardashians talk about it. It's something I love to do. Like, I hate it, and you're like... Glam.

I would do it all the time. Glam. In the glam chair. Now, I'm going to explain you guys what a glam chair is. You sit down. the goddamn chair is. No, but like you sit down and a lot of strangers surround you. Like it's a makeup artist.

They are on you. Like there's no space. And you're sitting. And if you even like move a little bit, it could throw them. Like you have to sit still. The makeup chair is the one place where I will hold my fart until the end. They leave. And then I like my body's like in turmoil.

Because there's no. If it comes out wrong, like that's a. that's like it's me everyone's going down at the ship it's mean they're trying to do their job you can't blame it on one of them it's a form of waterboarding honestly with air and there's they don't want to be there no but if i were to fart and it smelled or like they heard it i i'd just sit with them for another hour remember the girl that was selling her farts do you remember yeah what a time i feel like she also was lying a little bit all Also, do you know where I'll fart?

This is so fucked up. And, like, people might never look at me the same again. Where? We're passing it. I'll fart an elevator. I don't care. Because I believe karma. Karma worked in mysterious ways.

And there's some people, you ever walked to an elevator and smells like, shit? You deserved it. You deserved it. That's just me passing it on. Wait, speaking of glam, I'm actually having, like, a real serious crisis. Oh, no. So I had to do something for a hair brand the other day. And I don't dye my hair.

So they were like, oh, she has like a couple grayes. And Mitchell was like, no problem. I'll like throw a little, I'll throw a little glaze on. The glaze was the wrong color. Okay. So wait until you see me in person tomorrow. It's not even doing it justice on here because we're virtual. The top layer, Hannah, of my hair is black.

I've been washing my hair multiple times a night with baking soda trying to get it. I think you think I'm exact. That's so Amish of you. I have black hair. I have black hair on the top and then the... Wait, why couldn't he just like put some powder on top of it? Because they were like long. He was like, oh yeah, I'll just like throw.

And so I texted him and I was like, hey, we need to fix my glaze. I'm freaking. I look insane. And no shade to anyone who dyes their hair black. But if you dye your hair black, what is your actual problem? Well, it's giving like the Adam's family, I guess. You know what I thought. I was like, I felt in the mirror, I was like, I look old.

Like I felt like it aged me. And now I'm like, oh, now I understand why older women like do tend to go lighter, like in their hair color. I said blue. They're like, give me a light purple. Let's go. Because I'm like, I look so harsh. And like, and I love my color brown.

That's why I literally don't die it. Yeah. And so now I... It is crazy how like a guy who could never tell the like slight hue of change. I've tried to show her hair. I've tried to show what I mean. 8,000 times. I'm like, no.

Open your eyes and look at this. You got hair. You're having a full mental breakdown. That's your hair. I go, it's not my hair actually. This is not my... all her hair. Well, you know what this is?

This is karma because our second season of reality TV, I started sprouting grays and Paige took it upon herself to Mama Monkey Me and at the pool sit on top of me and yank out with a tweezer every single gray hair, which is apparently rule number one with gray is. Don't do that. And I knew that in my heart of hearts. I was like definitely not supposed to do that. But my best friend was having so much fun in that moment. I love grooming.

I love grooming other people. That's why I, you were like, that's why I've dated. I've dated so many male projects because I'm like, oh, give me 15 minutes with you and I'll just. Yeah, if I just pop a couple pimples, it's go time. I also discovered something I've never done before. And I don't know how I'm 34 and I haven't done this before. But you know that you, if you're in a rush and you're really greasy and because you haven't washed your hair in a bit that you could just wash the the front of your hair yeah well i have bangs

so i've done that before but just like the crown i think it's called a hooker shower what's it called yeah you you a hooker shower no that i could be making that up no a hooker shower is when you um just do your armpits i thought it was like you just shave you go i know this i did this in yeah i thought it was like you just shave your vagina and then like use perfume Oh, that makes sense too. But yeah, you put your hair in a bun, but then you take out the front, like you're about to do a slick back. And then you just do full shampoo conditioner. And it was incredible because, yeah, like life has changed for me.

I think I could beat the patriarchy now. This is actually something that my friend Stephanie was like, I can't believe you've never said this on the podcast because she was shocked when I said. this to her. She was like, I think you're duping everyone. She had said something and I was like, oh, I have to shave my vagina. And she was like, why would you have to shave your vagina? And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, I don't want to have a bush. And she was like, why don't you have your vagina lasered? You've lasered everything else ever. And I would like to say, I've never once had a Brazilian wax. I've never had my vagina

lasered. And I think everyone thinks that that's so not page coded. Well, why did you stop there? At that point, they're already doing it. Like, what? She said the same thing. She was like, but you've

gotten your bikini line lasered. And I'm like, yeah, and I've had it waxed before. And she was like, so why did you stop there? And I said, I don't, know. She was like, you go to the gynecologist, you spread wide open. Like, what is the difference between getting it lasered? And it's something in me that you're like shy. I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't get on all fours and have this woman look inside my vagina in my asshole. Inside your soul.

Yeah, like, there's just something about it where I'm like, I don't want. So you don't have your butthole laser? No, I. No. This is literally all I laser. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. only laser my butthole they come in and i'm like just i truly i'm not kidding i shave my vagina not every day because that would be insane but like every time i know i'm having sex like i shaved my vagina people do use like um a trimmer which no i'm bald i feel like we didn't do back in the day oh okay okay okay okay sorry i didn't mean to get so aggressive people we start really light and then if you make get to the end of the episode, you're like, yeah, I don't have hair in my labia. She was shook.

She like literally to hang up. You know what people don't talk about? I have hair inside my labia. Majora. Not menorah. Google it. So like when they laser, they have to like open a flap. Open it up.

Yeah, they open it up and they turn the doorbell. And like at some point I'm like no one's even going to see this. Like my husband's never even seen this area that you're into my vagina right now. But like it's sensitive. It's sensitive. No, I'm just like I guess. Do you want to know probably what it was is like the aren't Bush's back? I don't know.

But like the first time I ever like shaved my vagina like I didn't want to tell my mom like I shaved my vagina. I don't know why. Yeah, because it means you're like becoming a woman and it's weird. Yeah, so just like ever since then, I've just like kept it to myself. Oh my God, you never had talked to anyone about it. You're like, let's wait to talk to all the gigglers. That'll be more comfortable for me. But now I'm like, I mean, I guess I should just like go get it lasered, but it's such a commitment.

But you don't have to worry about the sun if it's just your vagina, which is the upside. Yeah, we are in an industry full of a lot of like gays and girls. girls and we do a lot of like trying on clothes and fashion and like hip up like i know they're not going to like run around and be like i know a page's vagina looks like but it's yeah it's just such an intimate moment no you're so right but do you feel like with other stuff not your vagina but like because we do so much fashion stuff we are so easy to take our shirts off with strangers which is not normal by the way actually like i think i offended someone the other day i was on I'm not getting.

I was on set. You're going to, I'm getting reported. Yeah, I really like if there was HR. You're on a list. No, I'm on subtype of list. I was on a set and they were like, hey, we're going to have to mic you up. And I had a dress on that had a slit. And so I hiked the slit up because they were like, we have to put a thigh strap on.

So I hiked the slit up. And the guy was like, oh. And I go, I'm from reality TV. I don't give a. shit like it's the thing we are we are desensitized it shouldn't be like that but like like we used to change our clothes and with like cameras around you don't know who's watching but you're just at the point where you're like whatever i don't give a fuck like i'm so tired i'm not gonna go into the other room to take my shirt off like whatever you were on a sports team of all women

i went to an all girls high school like if you're getting like we were getting undressed like yeah i recently was in a place though where like i was wearing a bra i was wearing a bra and and they wanted to steam my shirt because I don't show up any more professionally. And there was like five women there. But I like, obviously I just met them when I walked in. And they were like, we can all leave. And I'm like, no one's leaving.

I'm wearing a sports bra. Like, no. But then I realized maybe they feel uncomfortable. Wait, the other day I got a massage and she came to my apartment. And she's talking to me and she's like, okay, and then we'll do this and this. And I just started taking my pants off. Oh, yeah. And she goes, okay, I'll step in the bathroom and give you a minute.

I go, it's fine. Let's just get in there. I'm like, these are my tits and here we go. But then part of it is like, have we just become confident where it's like, this is our body. We're not like sexualizing it all the time. I guess I feel like I'm an artist. When it's a girl and I'm in that type of situation, I'm like, okay, whatever. Like you have a vagina.

I have a vagina. When it's at a work thing, I feel like this is going to get faster. I'm not embarrassed if you see my underwear. You know I have underwear. Like, you know I have a vagina. We have a weird fucking job. Yeah. Like most people's jobs aren't like, can you just walk around in your underwear for 10 minutes while we figure out what you're going to wear?

And can you talk to people that you've just met five seconds ago? Like our comfortability factor of you walk in a room, there's people working on a project you've never met and you're just like tits out. It's wild. But I'm proud of us. Yeah, no, I'm proud of us too. We don't have like body dysmorphia. So that's good. That's what people are like, how do you talk for an hour about nothing?

And I'm like, it's easy compared to just showing your tits to strangers all the time. My mom's going to call me after this and be like, hey, um, what do you do for a living, actually? My mom's going to call me and be like, hair should be on your vagina because it stops bacteria from getting in there. Maybe that's why you're getting so many UTIs because you don't have any hair on your vagina. She said it to me before. Okay. It's like eyelashes. It's like eyelashes and nose hair, she said.

She was like, they're supposed to be hair. I'm like, okay, well, I'm from the 90s, so I can't. You know? Anywho. Well, gigglers, we love you so, so much. And thank you for giggling with us. And thank God for my Dunkin Refresher, because I don't think I would have gotten to the vagina story without it. Wait, are you drinking a mango pineapple?

I am. And we never get the same thing. I know. Look at us, Twinsies. It's so good. And we did that like without even knowing. Sympatigo.