Giggly Squad - Giggling about bronde people, big sunglasses, and Adam Brody

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

Hannah is running a cat sanctuary and Paige is living in a retirement home.live show tickets available in Atlantic City, Newark, Minneapolis, Chicago, Madison, Milwaukee, Texas, Orlando, Mashantucket, and Cleveland!pre-order our booksign up for our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit audible.ca sup gigglers gary fix the wifi manifest that shit we can't be managed I mean the day just got away from me what's up my giddy lil gigglers ooh I thought you were going to say something like to do with your new cat

um no I'm actually having a little problem in my marriage right now because his little gigglers. Oh, I thought you were gonna say something like to do with your new cat. No, I'm actually having a little problem in my marriage right now because his knee is finally feeling better. I know it seems like I like hurt him on purpose, but like I love a gimpy man. They're weak, they're sensitive, they're sweet. People don't talk about gimpy men enough.

He's back like feeling better. So this morning he was like, hey, I have a workout scheduled for us. And I was like, okay, that's like not appropriate. It's literally not appropriate. Where are our boundaries in this relationship? You know what I want? Like a man that has really bad migraines.

He locks himself in the dark room. And you I have to be alone in a dark room for seven hours while my medicine kicks in. Can you like be really quiet somewhere else? Yeah, that's my dream. No, so like we did boxing and I was like, are we just gonna fight? Oh, my god, that's not a scheduled workout. That's like an intense cardio for 45 minutes. That's why I was like, can we wait to do the pod? Because I was like screaming, crying, throwing up. I was like shaking and then I was like low blood sugar.

So I had to eat a turkey club. Yeah. And then I had to digest it a little and my whole day has been thrown. And I was like, I don't know. I like to slowly start my day. And by slowly, I mean 4 p.m. I'll start being like, what do we do? Hannah, we're just always so connected I can't stand it. I've been being put

through a workout regimen this weekend as well except it's literally feels like I, it feels like I joined an old folks home and like I'm in a retirement community with my parents and my parents run the old folks home because the schedule that they've had laid out for me, dinner at 6pm, we have to do our three mile walk prior to it's water aerobics, the pace at which they walk the park, I couldn't keep up. I was like, guys, you've got to slow down. What's happening?

Are they giving you beta blockers and Jell-O? Take your beta blocker page. You know what happens when you don't. You know what happens. There's no freaking Italian. I came home, my dad was like, see, all you needed was a couple of days with your mother to get back, to just knock some sense into ya.

It's honestly so true. It was really refreshing because I think they're the only people in my life that were like, you're not going on medicine you fucking psycho. Maybe if you just slapped a normal, like a normal person. See I was like, what is the strongest drugs you guys have? Literally. I felt like Britney Spears. I had everyone on my team calling me being like, just checking in to make sure you took

your medicine. Well, I started comparing you to Marilyn Monroe. I was like, this is how they got her. They gave her drugs to get her up, Like they gave her drugs to get her up, then they gave her drugs to get her down. And they were like, you have a show in San Diego tomorrow, get it together. And then like literally my favorite part of the weekend

was you in the Uber telling me how you think, feeling the bump on your back because you thought you had a spinal. A spinal tumor, yeah. A uh tumor yeah a spinal tumor and the uber driver laughing because i was like i don't i think we'd know if you had a spinal tumor no i have a new ailment that i've been googling incessantly that i think i have i think i suffer from vertigo this is so your 30s you start looking outward you're like look I've been trying and clearly it's not me there's external things happening. External

factors and so I've been looking into that more and more I might even start going to acupuncture. Okay and I put in the newsletter apparently Taylor Swift swears by it this acupuncture mat that's like I sent to you that's $25 on Amazon I put it in my Amazon live apparently kind of painful But you basically just like lie down and the spikes hit you again These are things people do instead of going to therapy no truly okay, so you sent me that text message of the mat I immediately ordered it got it used it like a times, put it in my Amazon Live and even said in my Amazon Live I was like look is this gonna change your life? I have no

fucking idea but it does make me feel better knowing that I have it at home and then after my live one of my cameramen said no I actually own that and I swear by it the trick is you have to lay on it for like a solid 15 minutes. He was like, and then you do, like your body will start like tingling a little and you do feel different. He was like, but people don't lay on it long enough to feel the effects, like you really have to lay on it.

And I was like, oh, lay longer? No problem, sir. You've come to the right place. 1-800-TRYME. He goes, it's gonna be hard to stay in one position for a long time. I was like, I've been training for this. The good news about having this week off,

this last week, and by off, that's a strong word, but I was able to catch up on a lot of TV and I have some hot takes. I do have to say the funniest thing about the last episode we recorded, which by the way, I got so many messages, so I can't imagine how many you got. People just being loving that you were being open.

It was like taking a beta blocker. I just felt, because I will say this, because I don't wanna make this another therapy pod, but I will say the biggest fear of like those anxiety attacks was that like I was in the wrong career like I had picked wrong and like I was like a lie and all and like I should just pack it in you know forcing you to do it no and thank God and I had so many girls say that exact thing like I had this one girl message me and be like,

I'm a lawyer and every time I have to like interrogate the other side, like I have to take a beta blocker. And I thought, oh my God, I went through law school. I went through all of this and I can't even do it. Like this is the wrong career for me. And so I just feel like it made so many girls feel seen in their career.

Like we're late 20s, early 30s, we're like just at the, like people actually need us now at our jobs. Like we didn't think that this would happen. So we've hit like this point where we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like this is, it's too much. So I just want to say thank you to the Gigglers. It really, it helped me more than you know.

Yeah, and also you have to do something that scares you to feel alive. And I know there's some things that like, you're scared and you suck at it, and it's like, that's one thing, but like you're actually so amazing on stage. And if you're horrible at your job and you're having anxiety, you can be think twice.

Maybe it's a sign. You mean I love quitting. I love quitting or getting fired. Do that, that's fine. But when you actually, it gets you to feel alive. Also sometimes when you're leveling up in your life, it's gonna be uncomfortable. And getting past that discomfort

because you literally, mid panic attack, were so fucking funny on stage and you're just, it's very natural for you. But there could be another life that you just stay at home and we're a personal assistant for someone and you can do that tomorrow. You can.

You have freedom at any time, which is beautiful. No, at any time I'm like, you know what? I will just start an organizational company. I'm starting a cat sanctuary any second. Wait, Hannah, can we switch topics before we get into your TV shows that you randomly just went and adopted a cat this weekend? You haven't even showed me him.

Is it a girl, is it a boy? What's its name? I didn't adopt him. Who adopted him? Dez's brother, Aiden. Oh, I couldn't read that whole thing. No, you couldn't, yeah, but also, I just wanted to let the gigglers know

Aiden's also available for adoption. If anyone is interested. Edo Bishop. Oh, I thought you woke up the next day and were like, let's go adopt him. So the story was, I did write this long, long, long caption and then at the bottom I wrote in the comments, this is longer than a relationship that has ups and downs.

No, truly. I was like. Type of caption. The thing is when it comes to cats, I'm like the cat people will appreciate this. Like they want the details. They're like, tell me everything. So long story short, I'm trying to relax in West Hampton

because I'm like, you know, exhausted dealing with your shit, you know? Yep. And I'm like, I'm trying to relax in West Hampton, because I'm exhausted dealing with your shit. I'm trying to cleanse my soul from our demons that we've been fighting. And this is actually so sad, but I'm lying with Butter watching TV, and Butter starts growling. And I'm like, do you not like the channel we're watching?

Is this character? Do you not like the plot line? I'll change it, whatever you want. And then she jumps up and chucks herself out the window. And I'm like, oh, it's probably a squirrel. Butter hates other cats. She's very territorial. So I look outside and it's this orange and white cat that looks just like my dad's cat.

And whenever I see a cat, I always try to pet it. So I open up the door. Normally when you open the door the cat's like no thank you and runs away. This cat literally walks towards me and I'm like oh you found the right house motherfucker. You found the right house. I'm giving it food, I'm petting it.

I call Dez, Dez is like don't fucking let the cat inside the house, I swear to God. Don't let the cat inside the house. And I'm like this cat chose us, this cat needs us. The cat owns the house now, sorry. I actually put it in her name. The cat owns the house. I go, I need this cat once this cat is getting.

And the cat, it has balls. Okay. By the way, cat balls, this is gonna sound weird. So fucking cute. I've never seen them. So fucking cute, because they're hairy. I've never seen them. They're furry, so they just have these two little fluffs and they're little, by their tail, it's so cute. But this is the thing, I'm like,

is this just someone's outdoor cat that is having fun? And it's so friendly, but then I realize all cats are neutered. Like even anyone's cat, you have to get it neutered. And then it's full of fleas, it's dirty and starving. How did you know it was full of fleas? It kept itching itself and it was dirty, but it was rolling around on its back,

like the nicest cat. Where? In your living room? No, no, no, on my porch. Okay. On my porch. So then finally after petting it for, I'm gonna say an hour, I was like like I have to go back to my other baby.

I walk back in, she hisses at me because I smell like another cat. Like I felt like I cheated. I had to go in the shower and wash this other cat off me so Butter could sleep with me. Oh my God. She was like you dirty, like my slut. Butter is that bitch.

She's like get that gross ass outdoor, dirty ass cat off you. So next day, like clockwork, we're watching TV and this cat shows up again at 10 p.m. Just looking in like so cute, like he wanted to join the party. Same time as the night before? Same time as the night before.

He's on a schedule. He's on a schedule and then I'm thinking, maybe over the summer, he had a family that was feeding him and then they left West Hampton come fall and then he lost his source. So I am texting Jill, who works at the Southampton Animal Shelter, she's my cat shaman, she tells me what to do, and I'm like,

Jill, we have an emergency, what do I do? And she's like, can you get him in the garage? So I'm full Steve Jill, we have an emergency. What do I do? And she's like, can you get him in the garage? So I'm full Steve-er-win at this point. The cat follows me down the stairs into the garage. I shut the garage door and the cat's not happy with me. What the fuck? I trusted you and you trapped my ass. And I get upset, but I'm like, look, we have to neuter you.

So I'm falling asleep. I can hear the cat meowing I'm all upset. The morning I wake up and they come and get the cat and they bring it to the shelter to neuter it. And I'm talking to Aiden who's driving me into the city because I can't drive and I'm telling him about the cat and he's like yeah you know like wouldn't it be cool like maybe I should get a cat like I don't know

is it a good cat, Is it a good cat? And I'm like, yeah, it's a fucking good cat. I feel like that's exactly how the conversation went. 100% goes, you think it's a good one? I'm like, it's a good one. So the next day, that's all I'm thinking about, so I text her, I'm like, how's he doing? Can I come and see him?

And then Aiden comes, the cat like rubs his head on Aiden, and Aiden's like, yeah, take this cat, this cat's a good cat. Oh my God. So the cat has been head on Aiden, and Aiden's like, yeah, take this cat, this cat's a good cat. So the cat has been adopted by Aiden, and again, Aiden's a dog guy. Like he fosters pit bulls, this cat puts his head on his lap and just lies there and falls asleep,

and Aiden's like, I fucking love this cat. The power of Giggly Squad knows no bounds. It knows no bounds. It knows no bounds. No bounds. All the cats are like huge Giggly Squad fans. They're like, have you heard about this podcast promoting us? Like they love us, not sponsored.

But seriously, Southampton Animal Shelter, if you're in Long Island, go. They have so many cute, good kittens right now. Oh my gosh. My cat is somewhere under the bed right now because she met Polo this weekend and she was like not having it. It really took Polo like a minute

to even know she was in the room because he can't see well. Yeah, he's, it's honestly so sad. He's so old and like I remember. Did you tell her Polo was like a zaddy? I was like, look, I got Polo when I was 18. He's like an old man now, like just be respectful. And Daphne wanted nothing to do with him. She was like, she was like, oh, she was like, you didn't tell me prior to,

like I'm not prepared. I have to go. Like, and I was like, I get it. I do have to say, sorry. The funniest part about last episode though, was we stopped recording and you just look at me after this like emotional outpour. And I was like, oh, I'm the funniest part about last episode though was we stopped recording and you just look at me after this emotional outpour

and you go, okay, I'm gonna watch the Menendez Brothers movie and I go, yeah, don't think that's a good idea. No, don't think that's a good idea at all. And then you leave and I'm like, okay, I'm worried. I'm beyond obsessed with the Menendez Brothers. I've gone into multiple fights with my parents on how they deserve to be released from jail.

Wait, your parents think they shouldn't? Well, yeah, because my parents didn't watch the show and they're going off like the 90s. I'm like, you don't even get it. I was like, there was so much more to the story. Like they were being sexually abused. Like I went into this whole thing. I was like-

Well, the whole thing was in the 90s, like people did not realize that men could be sexually assaulted. Yeah, which is. I do have to say, I'm so obsessed with Cooper Koch, Koch, however you say his name, and I thought he was straight. I thought he was straight.

And I was like, I'm obsessed with him. He's my new boyfriend. But the other one is, the other one's straight. Other one is straight. Some girl posted that like, she had this situationship with him before he got the role and like, she got the ick from him and broke up with him

and now he's like the biggest sex symbol right now. Which brings me to the other show that I told you to watch, Nobody Wants This, which is like all over TikTok now. I'm so embarrassed, I posted, oh my God, is it Erin Foster? I love, nobody told us we should do this. Like I wrote the wrong title. Nobody wants us to do this or something. And people were like, that's literally not the title.

Not the name of the show. Who knew Adam Brody? I did. Who knew? I did. I didn't. I did. I didn't. I didn't. I did. I didn't. You didn't watch the OC? I didn't watch the OC.

I just thought he was some nerdy dude. And also you know what? The guy who plays Joe in the serial killer thing, I'm not into him that way. Like I like him but I don't think he's like hot. Did you watch Gossip Girl? No. No, okay so then please don't speak on issues

that you have not researched and have not. I was right with challengers. Have not put the time into knowing. Seth Cohen is one of the best male high school characters on any show that I ever watched through my teens. Seth Cohen is the reason that when I moved to New York, I was like, I need a Jewish boyfriend. Like, if I don't have a Jewish boyfriend,

I'm gonna freak out. It's just, but you understand if you just see photos of him, you're like, okay. But he's so funny. I know, I hate when there's a role for a man where you're supposed to like, he's the heartthrob, but then he talks and you're like, no one really likes this man.

No. He's that guy. Like he's great. And Kristen Bell's great. And the fact that Seth Cohen is married, what is his real name? Adam, whatever, Seth Cohen. Is married to Leighton Meester is like-

Makes sense. It makes sense because he was my favorite male character of all shows and she was my favorite girl. So like the fact that they. Did they hook up on the show? They weren't ever on the shows together. Oh, I thought they were both on Gossip Girl. No, she was on Gossip Girl, he was on the OC.

They're not the same show. Are you sure? Definitely, that had some years between it, but like all CW. Oh, so Gossip Girl was East Coast, OC was West. OC was like Laguna Beach and Gossip Girl was like Real Housewives of New York. Yeah. They were younger. Yep. That's exactly it. Okay. Well it was very light and fun and easy to watch. It was light, it was fun. I felt like when they were talking,

I felt like when it was the scenes with the sisters and they were like talking about the podcast, like it was very you and me coded. Like when she had to go to the dinner, like without Erin basically, and they're like, you're not gonna be able to do it. You don't know anything about the podcast. She was like, whatever, like I can do it, it's fine.

It was giving our pod where we do have important meetings and one of us eventually breaks being able to be professional and then we say like some inappropriate stuff and there's a pause and then someone goes, and that's why we love them. And that's why we love them. They're so themselves, They have such good chemistry. That's like the variety article that just came out.

No, there have been so many Zoom meetings where I'm like, I think we've lost the plot here. No, I just started trying to make Paige laugh and the people are like, okay, let's stay focused here. And I'm like, wouldn't it be funny? And you enable me. We are the definition of like in school where you like weren't allowed to sit next to your friend

because you'd laugh so much. We are the definition of like jokes on you bitch. Like when we're adults, we're gonna be in the same office. So like fuck you. Every now and then I feel like there's someone who's just trying to get by their job. Like just last meeting of the day. And they're like, girls, can you please just,

can we just stay focused? Or they'll say something and I'll be like, can you explain that again for a two year old? Cause like that made no sense and I'm not pretending, I understood what you said. Sometimes we'll get into meetings and I'll like barely even know what it's for and Hannah will come in and change everything.

Look, I do have to say, I actually love a fucking meeting and I'll show up, look in a rack. No. And I say. I go camera off for all of them. Hannah's there, camera on and she's like, I actually have new thoughts and I think we should change everything to something different. We're like, okay. And I'll be like in the most ridiculous scenario.

I'm like in a grocery store and they're like, we can't hear you, we can't see you. Are you kidnapped? What's going on? Oh my God. No, I have thoughts. But yeah, the Menendez, I do have to say, I can't get myself to watch the last episode.

I think one, cause it's upsetting and two, because I'm like, let's. I didn't finish it. I don't understand the mistrial part. I don't understand why they were like, I don't understand mistrials. I thought it was, the whole thing was pissing me off. Yeah, I don't understand the mistrial part. I don't understand why they were like, I don't understand mistrials. I thought it was, the whole thing was pissing me off. Yeah, I didn't finish it.

I think I had like three, two or three episodes left. And I was just like, I feel like it's getting a little repetitive. I will say, probably because I just watched the documentary in Vogue on Hulu, which was so fucking good. Oh, I have to watch that. I didn't expect it to be as good as it was because usually fashion documentaries,

sometimes you're like, okay, boring, like whatever. Yeah, and I've seen the supermodel documentary. So I was like, is this repetitive? This was good. I want like a better, like a more updated documentary on Anna Wintour's like life before she became the editor of American Vogue. But anyway, but anyway.

But one of the things that they were saying in that documentary was like how much culture impacts fashion and really like fashion takes from like whatever's going on in the country like in those days, like on how you dress and whatever. And I have this feeling that 80s fashion is gonna like really come back. And I think the start of it was this Menendez Brothers show

and I think we're gonna see more like 80s shows and people start to dress more 80s. Okay, that was so smart of you, first of all. Thank you. Second of all, there is, it is known that like, it's always like 30 years or something prior, because if you think about it, who are the people in charge right now?

The people who were 80s kids. So they're the ones making decisions. But I do have to say, I don't, I mean, obviously I'm gonna go with the trend probably, but I love the 90s trend, I want it to stay forever. Even though it's funny, because in the 90s, we all thought it was horrible, we were like, this is the worst ever.

I just, I don't like, I rather 90s than early 2000s. I like don't like early 2000s stuff, but 80s I could be so down with, I love a shoulder pad. You love a shoulder pad. I love a shoulder pad, I do. I do have to say, this is like the first time I've been like really aware of trends. Like that every season there's more trends.

Yeah, I think cause of TikTok. Yeah, and now everyone's like, you need suede. Like you need suede. And then people wearing berets. Long suede trench, cause I was like, oh my God, I need suede trench. Yeah, if you don't have suede, no one's gonna take you seriously.

Zara has some pretty good suede stuff right now. Are people wearing berets? I feel like people always wear berets. I don't think you're gonna see a lot of people in these hats because they're kind of hard to pull off. And I feel like people will get nervous. But it's really more like, it's called a pill box hat, or really in.

It's like the hats that Jackie O used to wear. Like I've been seeing those a lot, but I don't, you probably won't see them for like a little because in trends, like I feel like you see it on the runway, it's said in the fashion community, this is gonna be a trend in the spring. So like the fashion girlies kind of start doing it, but until like it gets to stores

and like mass people are doing it, it's still a full year. The trickle down effect. I do have to say I'm not happy about people saying that big sunglasses are back. Oh, you hate big sunglasses. No, because I have a small head. So even a normal sunglasses looks like a mosquito on me,

and I'm really upset about it, because I really like those little 90s glasses. They make me feel normal. I think you can still wear them. I will because I can't pull off a big sunglass. Like no one will take me seriously with big sunglasses. We'd have to find the right big, maybe that's something we'll do.

We'll go to a sunglass store and we'll really find what the best shape is for you. There's nothing worse than putting on sunglasses and looking at someone and being like, what do you think? And they go, no, no, no, no. I think that's what Stephanie was worried about when we went wedding dress shopping. That I was just like, no. Have you ever experienced a dry, itchy scalp?

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Visit go.acast.com slash ads to get started today. So I don't know about you, but my TikTok algorithm is full of just girls trying different hair colors on in that like cap cut edit. Every fucking video and yes, do I have to watch it all? Yes, because I have to see which hair color she looks best in, but like, how is this the premium content of TikTok?

And I'm just gonna say everyone looks better with their natural, I feel like. which hair color she looks best in, but how is this the premium content of TikTok? And I'm just gonna say, everyone looks better with their natural, I feel like. Everyone that I've seen looks best with what their natural hair color is. It's like everyone loves brunette. Everyone looks good in brunette. Yeah.

Except for me, I'm red. Have you heard about the fame theory about hair? No. So this one girl basically said that like the reason Tate McCray isn't popping to like next level status, which I don't know if I disagree with, I think she is popping that status,

but they said because she's blonde and how you have to either be blonde or brunette or red. You can't be like just an in-between hair color. Like, Chabalrone, they think when she went red, they're talking about me, like when I went red, I'm just kidding. But like, Olivia Rodrigo is dark hair. Brunette.

Britney Spears, blonde. Sabrina Carpenter is blonde. Blonde. And there was another example of someone who's a blonde celebrity that is kind of in-between right now, and they were like, she has to pick blonde. Blonde, and there was like another example of someone who's a blonde celebrity that like is kind of in between right now and they were like she has to pick, like Billie Eilish when she started going like green,

everyone started loving her. Wait, that's so interesting and I kind of, I kind of get it. Your rise on Summer House, I think your fuck ass Bob like put you on the map first to be like who's that girl with that look? Cause if you had just like bronze normal hair, it's harder, I don't know,

it's just like a mental thing that they're saying. I feel like it's because you're like innate. You wanna put people into boxes? Yes, like you want to like label people immediately in your brain to like compartmentalize and like organize your own brain. So you like wanna put girls into boxes and it's like blonde or brunette, you can't be both.

Like what are you? Very interesting. Very, very interesting. Okay, what else have you watched that you loved? This is like one of my hotter takes. And I'm gonna say it. Oh God. Ellen DeGeneres had a great special.

Wait, on Netflix I didn't see it. Look. Is it funny? First of all, kind of iconic that she got canceled for being a bitch. I think she got canceled for a little bit more, but like, yeah. But like, ultimately it was like a lot of people being like, she's horrible to work with.

She's a bitch. Yeah, she's like rude. So she goes on stage and she's like, first of all, it's so easy to not care what people think when you're at the height of your popularity. You're like, I don't care what people think, yeah, because everyone fucking likes you. And then she said something, she was like,

I never got into this for the money. I got into this for laughter and bringing people joy and finding myself through humor. But she goes, but then I got canceled and thank God for the money. No, I can't imagine. And then she told this really funny story, which I can kind of relate to,

how everyone was saying she's the meanest person ever. So she said she'd go to a restaurant and she could just feel people looking at her waiting for her to do something mean. She'd raise her hand to grab a fork and they're like, she's gonna hit the waitress. No, she's just grabbing a fork. Everyone's just waiting for her to do something fucking mean.

Cause people had this idea. And this is the thing, I'm not excusing anything Ellen did. I think she probably was super cunty. And she even jokes that she thought scaring people all the time was hilarious and looking back. Like look, comics are fucked up people. But she was like, you know, it's crazy. I didn't know you weren't allowed to be mean

in the entertainment industry. And not to go on a feminist rant, but she was like, if you're a male boss, you could literally go into someone's office and be like, talk to me right now. If you're a girl boss, you have to go in and be like, hey, do you have a second? I'd love to speak to you. A male boss that I had through keys at me.

And I was just like, okay. If a girl did that, you'd arrest her. Yeah. And it got me thinking, I was hanging out with some industry agent people, and one agent was being so mean to his coworkers, whatever, was being so mean to his like, like coworkers or whatever, and then was like talking about an actress

who was being a bitch, and I was like, that's crazy, because when men are mean, like it's just like he's tough. Where like when a girl's mean, they're like we can't deal with this. And this is coming from someone who I actually, I'm not making an excuse, because if I met her and she was cold to me,

I probably would immediately be like, I don't fuck with that girl. Because I think kindness is like the easiest thing you could do. Yeah, it's way easier. I just get upset when I feel like it's people who are big, who are trying to make something happen, and you're trying to put your opinions out there

and people are like, oh, she's difficult. I just think disrespect is not okay in any capacity, but if you're just being like stern, but Ellen might've gone too far, but I do have to say, look, she's a genius. What she's done for gay rights has been huge. And yeah, she's fucking imperfect, but you cannot say that her special wasn't hilarious.

Well, here's another comparison I'll make. Like no man, when people started canceling people in like 2020, no man was canceled for being mean or, the men were getting canceled for pedophilia, sexual assault, they were getting canceled for literal felonies that they were committing around the town. So it took so much more for men to get canceled. I'm sure there's a ton of bosses who are men

who did the same exact thing. Not to get too specific, but people have tried with you the buzzword of if a girl calls another girl a mean girl, that's the worst thing you could call her when it's like people are mean to each other and who's, are you responding to someone after being mean to you and then you're the mean girl? I feel like I've also gotten over that too

because I've learned in my personality, yeah, if you're mean to me, I am gonna be 10 times meaner. Well, that's the thing, you're responding. Sorry, I will always win at that, but you started it. No, honestly, I feel like with reality TV and honestly with boyfriends, I learned it the most with boyfriends that if a guy ever says anything to me,

I will go immediately to your biggest insecurity and I will say it to you. And I know that that is a flaw in my personality. I don't have to go that low, but also I'm like, you started it. Don't fight with me then. Sometimes you have to be mean to literally survive. But I do have to say, I live by it.

Don't start anything. Try not to be reactive. And one thing someone told me, which I wish I did during my last season, but I didn't, but I wasn't, we, it was during COVID, it was crazy, but they said, speak to men like your preschool teacher. Keep your voice low.

Be calm. You have to keep your voice low, be calm. You have to keep your voice low. And you have to speak like they're literally, like their brain's not formed. That also like gets men I feel like even more mad. Like sometimes like when me and Craig will like have a fight or something, my natural go-to is like I raise my voice first,

I always like am louder and like I'm 10 times meaner, but if I switch it up then like I feel like he gets more he's like do you not even care you don't even care and I'm like no I'm just like trying not to be reactive and I'm keeping my voice low and I'm just like we're having a conversation but like it does piss them off and that I and I love that. Early on before I got too into it I would when someone would come for me. I'd be like, what is this actually about? Because I don't think it's about this. That's what else is going on. What's going on at home? Are you okay? Something something's amiss at home

Because it's true. Most of the time they are just like projecting frustrations on you and you represent Honestly The fucking home that's why I live alone That's why just me and I'm there still things going on in the home No, it was so funny when I got to Albany. This was like Daphne's first road trip I got to Albany and I like set up her litter box and like set up all like her stuff that she needs. Each member of my family walked into my room and they're like does Daphne know where her litter box is? And I'm like I don't know guys I told her but she can't say anything back to me so I don't

know what you want me to do. I showed it to her. I said, here's your litter box, but I have no idea if she comprehended it. I'm gonna say one thing that I don't understand about cats. The only rule is when you bring them home, you just have to, you could put them in it or just literally show it to them. Yeah. And then they just know.

Like it's, they're smarter than us. No, it's insane. Like I get lost in my own house. Like the thought of training a dog, I don't think I could ever do it. I can't do it. And here's the other thing, I'm not doing it. But this is the thing also, like people like training dogs.

Like they like being like, I have this crazy animal that I'm gonna, honestly, I don't need that on my resume. Craig told me a story the other day that I forget what town it was in or like where in the country it was. on my resume. Craig told me a story the other day that, I forget what town it was in or like where in the country it was, that foxes are showing signs of wanting to be domesticated. Like how cats just were like, and we're domestic now.

Like we're chilling. And that foxes are like showing up and like doing all these things to be like, we're done. I'll take a fox in, don't fucking tell me. They're fucking cute. And I'm so profi, I'm on their side to be like, we're tired now, we've done what we needed to do out here, we're ready to lay by a fire.

They're like, put a leash on me, please. Put a leash on me and let me sniff other dogs' butts. I'm so for them becoming domesticated. I'm backing them in their fight. Back to my best friend, Ellen. Look, everyone needs the meanest. I always loved having a girl who was so fucking mean because you don't have the balls.

And if she's on your side, you are protected. I looked like the scariest girl in school. I wanted her to like me. And then I would just stand behind her. Did you ever have a moment in high school where I feel like this scariest girl in school. I wanted her to like me. And then I would just stand behind her. Did you ever have like a moment in high school where like, I feel like this happened to me one time where like, I can't even remember, but I can picture the classroom.

Someone was coming at me for something and I was so caught off guard. I was like, oh my God, wait, what's going on? And this one girl came from out of nowhere and like had my back and I'll never forget it because I was literally about to be drowning. And from that day on, I respected that girl so much. And you're like, if she's around,

no one's fucking with me. And I liked to be that too. If someone was fucking with someone, I was like, I'll end you. I'll murder you. The only time I was fucking with someone, I was like, I'll end you. Like I'll murder you. The only time I was comfortable with confrontation was when like there was a clear bullying situation. Yeah, like when you're sticking up for someone.

Yeah, and especially when that person, they're just being mean for no fucking reason because like some girl has weird hair or something. Which we all have done. Probably something going on at home. Yeah, but back to Ellen. Yeah. She has the funniest, so she got canceled

when she first came out as gay. Right. Like she couldn't get a job and show business and then she got the talk show. So she was like, look, first I was canceled for being gay, then I was canceled for being too mean, and she's like, and in about 15 years I'm gonna get canceled again for being too old.

And like, she's just, she's like, she's being real, she's being funny, and I do have to tell you guys, a lot of comedians are monsters, and we still find them funny, and she may be a monster, but you have to appreciate her art being funny and not hiding and coming out and working and trying to bring joy to people. I'm not saying anything she did is okay,

because honestly it's my biggest ick when people are fucking mean. Like I hate it and it's low and it's stupid and it's so easy to be nice. Speaking of foxes, not me obsessed with Ellen standup, but she's like one of the best standups ever. She talks about how like butterflies are so amazing and she lists some other stuff

and she's like, but pigeons, they really fucking gave up. They were like, pigeons used to communicate during war, now they can barely fly, a car will come and they'll be like, please hit me. They don't even move out of the way. They don't even get out of the way. And I'm like, that's so fucking true. So anyway, that's my-

I'm gonna say one thing about Ellen. I, no matter what she was canceled for, like what is, whatever, I don't even really remember. I just find it so admirable for anyone to have a comeback. I feel like America loves a fricking comeback. I love for anyone to be like, you know what? I'm not going in hiding. Yes, I did this.

Yes, I did that. No, I didn't do this. This was fabricated, whatever. I love someone just standing there and taking it and coming back. I just think that's great. I could never. She had another joke where she said

that her therapist couldn't really understand what she was going through She had another joke where she said that she, her therapist couldn't really understand what she was going through because Ellen was like, I feel like everyone hates me. And the therapist was like, why do you feel that way? And she was like, I don't know,

the New York Times and the Washington Post and the Daily Mail. And they were like, okay. And then she's like, well, can you stop looking at the news? And she's like, I actually don't look at the news, but every couple of days a friend will just text me and be like, hey, thinking of you, hope you're doing okay. And that shit was so relatable.

That's so real. There's nothing like unfollowing every Bravo account to just have a random group chat of friends, be like, hey, is everything okay? We love you. It's like, okay. We love you no matter what other people say we love you. I didn't even see it, so let me just go.

I do have to say to the friends, never text someone a bad article about them. Oh, please. I'll end it. Don't ever text me a bad article about myself. How dare you? I will wait for you to bring it up. I will never bring it up.

I'm never bringing it up. Text me a bad article about someone else. Like, be a girl's girl. Oh my, no, literally. So, Ellen had some very funny points, but I also think like she's an older gay woman and it's hard, like society doesn't stereotypically, in comedy, society doesn't love it, but I think that she has,

she's been through a lot in her life and who knows, we'll see what happens. Did you watch Will and Harper? I watched the beginning of it. Me too. It made me so emotional and I also loved Will Ferrell. As someone who has met him once, he's an absolute angel. I know the gays hate him.

I'm obsessed with this man. When he was trying to make the kids laugh in the diner. No, he's, I think he's so hilarious. He's the funniest ever. You know, this is the first time I saw him on screen and I felt like, oh my god, I felt like my parents, because I was like, oh my god, Will Ferrell. Like, this is the first time he looked old to me. Well, he also, when have you seen him be normal?

Right, you never see him. He's always in the character. Yeah, and he just felt very like a dad. He just felt like a dad, your friend's dad that was making a documentary. He's the dad that he shows up when everyone's hanging out and you're like, oh wait, this is gonna be so funny. Yeah, he was great.

I love him. And it also, I think was so good for trans visibility in terms of, humor connects people because Harper, after she transitioned from being a comedy writer, I'm still hilarious, so she's shitting on it. Right, because they were talking about, is this a whole new friend?

Is this still my same friend? What's our friendship gonna be like? And it's like, well, you still think the same things are funny and stupid, so you can still connect. Did you see at the dinner table, she had all these SNL alums, and she was like, everyone was really nice,

except for Tim. Tim sent me some like hate mail and this guy Tim, the guy from Mean Girls was like, I thought she was messing with me so I sent some sexist racist remarks back. I thought it was a bit and it's so funny. No, it's so funny. Really comedy brings everyone together.

It's so funny. Really comedy brings everyone together. More than 125,000 podcasts trust Acast to connect them with their audience. Your brand can speak to your perfect audience too by advertising with Acast. We're home to the biggest names in podcasting, reaching millions of engaged listeners who can only be accessed through Acast. From true crime to comedy, finance to fitness. Your next customer's favorite podcast is an Acast show. Your audience is already here. Speak to them with Acast. Visit go.acast.com slash ads to get started today.

Did you see Lana Del Rey married an alligator instructor? Another controversial take. I see it. I think Lana Del Rey has had it with these like asshole fame whore men, like finance pro douche bags, artsy fartsy losers, and is like, give me just a simple alligator instructor and he's probably likes to explore.

Okay but here's the thing he's not cute. Again. Like yeah. I just feel like I feel like okay yeah you can be like fed up and all that stuff but it's like. Don't marry him. Yeah the marriage it's like. Don't marry him. Yeah the marriage thing is like. Don't marry him.

I know like. It was just giving like you wanna be married that bad? Like what is so good about being married that like. You just. Maybe he has like an amazing penis. I mean I'd hope so because. Why did I just envision us meeting him and being like. What's your take on it like? have you heard of the alligator circle?

Circle of death. Circle of death. Honestly, we send him the clip. Is it the circle of death? I think so. And we said Justice vs. Sharks? No. No, it just like it just Here's the other thing I feel like it's giving mediocre men

The audacity it's giving he's gonna hurt her more than any Like famous guy she's ever dated hurt her cuz she's like this was a make-a-wish Well, I also saw a thing that he was engaged for 10 years to his last girlfriend and then randomly was just like. Oh, so he's a fuck boy. So it was just Lana Del Rey was interested. It's the same thing with Ariana Grande just breaking up that random marriage. Now Dalton is the guy she divorced who was a random dude is now dating a really pretty model.

And it's like, you're right, keep them where they're at. Keep them where they're at and where they belong because there's nothing worse than giving a dude you didn't even wanna give a shot who's so beneath you then thinking he's on your level. I always have to say the worst, the most heartbroken I've ever been was in college with this guy after I dated the football player

who I was like, this guy will kiss my feet. And then like, he got a whiff of himself that summer and was like, I literally was like, he's gonna beg me to be his girlfriend. And he thought he was the coolest guy on campus. Not that like, I don't know, he just like was feeling himself and I, and wasn't giving me the time of day.

And I was like, I'm sorry. No one will break your heart like a real loser. Their name's always like Matt. And it hurts your ego so much more. Maybe that's why I was so, I was so shallow for hot men after that, because I was like, if I'm gonna get my heart broken, they better be fucking out of my league.

Well, because it's like, if this loser doesn't want me, what does that say about me? And that's the mental capacity you go into, and it's quite jarring. So I do have to say, never go low, because they'll go high. I don't know what that meant, but it made sense. No, dating beneath you is fun for a minute, and then it's like, you can't.

This whole time, we've been trying not to talk about it, but I feel like we should bring it up. Let's talk about the freak offs. Oh my God. I didn't think that's where you were gonna go. I'm just gonna be honest. I'm on the side of TikTok where Beyonce is a murderer and I don't know what's going on.

I'm so confused. I'm at the part of TikTok where they're saying Kanye was trying to save Taylor Swift by not having her compete with Beyonce. Yeah, because she was gonna get murdered. But I can't believe any of it. No, I think that's taking it to a little bit of an extreme. They said Adele broke her Grammy off

and was giving it to Beyonce because she was scared. I think she's just a nice person. Let's focus at the problem at hand, okay? With the freak offs. There's a lot of Justin Bieber drama, but long story short, then people are saying that he would do these freak offs and film them so he could like blackmail.

I need you to stop saying freak off. I can't stop saying freak offs. I've been saying it every, I can't. Why couldn't they pick a better name than freak off? Why is it named that? It sounds like, like when't they pick a better name than Freak Off? This sounds like- Why is it named that? This sounds like when you're throwing a birthday party when you're like 19, you're like, it's for the Freak Off, it's Freak Off tonight.

Some stupid theme, it's like, call it a sex party. It sounds like a bunch of adults were trying to throw a cool party for a brand and they're like, it's gonna be a freak off kick ass and like No, no, I think that P diddy whatever his name is diddy who cares I think he should rot in jail for the rest of his life and If someone killed him like I wouldn't bat an eye

It's just upsetting that this was, whatever was happening, happened for so fucking long. And now they're looking back that he might've been involved with Tupac, and like, but they're saying that he was blackmailing everyone, like, hey, I have you doing this, don't ever fucking turn on me.

So he had everyone silenced. What about, this is so off topic, what about Sabrina Carpenter saying at her concert that she's the reason that our mayor got indicted? Indicted. Did she say why? She said because she filmed her music video at a church. Oh yeah.

And it like wasn't supposed to be allowed or something and they looked into the person that like allowed it and he had some some shady shit going on with some random weird story but it all had to do with because she filmed a... It all goes back to Espresso. It all goes back to a woman in the arts just not knowing what she was doing

for the good of the city. People went to her show last night. She had MSG. Yeah. I do have to say, concerts are hard for me. No. Thank you so much for saying that because I did get an email inviting me

to the Sabrina Carpenter concert and I was like, wow, so many girls would kill for this and this is so nice that they're inviting me to this. My cortisol is not regulated enough to be at a concert setting. I'm just not a concert girlie. You know what I'm not? I'm not an inside concert girlie.

I like a amphitheater. I like something- Well, cause you could leave. Cause you could like wander off. It's easier to leave. You could be like, oh a tree. I think that. Well, cause you could leave. Cause you. You could like wander off. It's easier to. You could be like, oh a tree. I think that's what it is.

Oh, a car. What if I just got into this car? Yes, what if I just got into it? And you're also like, oh, I'm getting vitamin D. Like this is like my walk. Yeah. My hot girl walk. I like an amphitheater.

I, yeah, I don't like crowds. I don't like girls singing. I think it's PTSD from being on the bus and some girls would start singing a song and I would just get really awkward. And I feel like the second I start singing, everyone would laugh at me. I don't know, it's me.

I'm triggered. For as much as we are performers, and we truly, truly are, we're like always running a bit, always like performing for someone. We aren't singing, dancing type. Like I'm not a dancer. Like it it's actually probably like a bad quality but like at a wedding I'm not the most fun person at the table. I'm not like a let's get up and go to the dance floor at a

wedding type of person at all. Can we discuss? I hate going to weddings not because like the social. The social aspect of the wedding is I really it makes me really uncomfortable. I hate going to weddings, because the social, everything is horrible. The social aspects of a wedding is, it makes me really uncomfortable. You're having these awkward table conversations with people you don't really know, then you have to awkwardly dance with people you don't know while older people are just watching you dance

to swag surfing. Weddings are truly only fun if it's your sibling, yeah. Your best friend, Yeah. Or you. And all of those have caveats. Yeah, and that's literally it

because you don't really get to hang out with your best friend at all like during that day, but you're happy that like she's experiencing this. Your sibling, it's fun because it's like your family's there, but you're also like, everyone has that weird cousin and uncle and whatever, whatever you don't wanna talk to. And then you, yeah, because it's all about you, but it's also probably the most stressful.

I've also been on the outskirts before, where you know that you weren't the first people invited, and then they'll be like Oh my god, there's a seat an extra seat I can't get you to my wedding and you're like, are you trying to fuck up? I like do you like I Know that like if I go there I'm gonna have to be my best and like perform and like be great But like I don't have it in me all the time and it's such a weird mix of people sometimes

Oh god god and then you have to watch people cry see like I almost rather be a plus one because I feel like there's no pressure because it's like I don't know anyone here so I'm not obligated to talk to any of you and I can take as long as I want in the bathroom because no one's looking for me like dancing with uncles that should be illegal it's not for me I really actually with uncles, that should be illegal. It's not for me. I really, actually Craig gets mad at me at weddings

because I'm like, I can't, I'm not like that just like whimsical type. It's actually so funny. I just got a memory, my dad, we were at a wedding and my mom was on the dance floor and my mom's like cute and like good at dancing and my dad looks at me and he goes, how mom dances she's loose she's relaxed try to learn from her and I was like wait what? No my brother is like he's so stiff when you go on there.

I'm like the worst dancer too like I'm not I I can't I just can't do it's not for me. Wait I'm about to blow your mind. Speaking of stiffness, people are saying that women are getting too much Botox and filler, that babies are having trouble learning expressions because their moms are not showing them the full spectrum of emotions. Stop. That could be totally false,

but when I saw it on TikTok, I was like, that's fucking hilarious. Just a bunch of serial killer babies being made who like can't react to things. Me and Hannah have had quite extensive talks on tour recently that we're gonna skip Botox and filler. We're just gonna skip that phase. And when we turn 60, maybe 55, maybe even 50.

It depends how our mental health is. it depends on how we're going. We're just gonna pop out one day having facelifts. Like we're gonna go big or we're going home. We're not going in for a couple little needles here and there. If we're going under the knife, they're pulling our whole faces off and they're redoing them. So spending a couple days in LA, the word on the street is that the girls, some of your favorite pop stars have undergone like two, three facelifts. No. Paige, I'm telling you, these girls who look insane,

you're like, what they have done, facelifts. Like the normal population, we're getting fed like, oh, it's preventative Botox, the elite they're getting fed it's a preventative facelift, like it's a mini facelift. Girls in your early 20s stop getting preventative Botox. Your skin is gonna age regardless. It's like so unnecessary.

Also your babies don't know how to, don't know if you're sad or happy, if you're crying or laughing, okay? This is the problem. I really don't subscribe to preventative Botox. I think that's such a scam by like, to sell Botox. And now I'm terrified of filter, of filler, filter, of filler. Because it's migrating and it's staying forever.

And this is like really selfish and this is for the millennials. This is for the millennials right here. Okay. Part of me is like, ha ha. Like, Gen Z looks old. Like I, like I kind of like it. I'm like, it makes me feel better about aging

because I'm like, oh my God, I'm 10 years older than you and I look younger than you. So like, I feel fine. It's also like not their fault though, because we, it wasn't a trend when we were growing up. Like we would have fallen into it too maybe. No, like I didn't, I had a couple girlfriends I think who started to get Botox when we were in college,

but like it was very, it was not, definitely was not talked about. The way it was talked about now and it was random. Yeah, it was rogue. I feel like girls really didn't start getting it until I was like 26. And then I was still like, I was like, guys, we don't need a.

Have you seen the Cardi B drama? With her and Offset? Yeah. And her just like publishing all the receipts of everything. Yeah, all I got from it, cause I was watching on mute, was that. That's really good.

And I do? That's a good way to learn. You guys, this is hard hitting journalism. And let me preface this with, please, please, please, I know you can go viral, but do not blast your personal lives on the internet. Just don't. Don't call people out.

Just keep it to yourself. I'm telling you, just don't do it. Cardi B, she's doing her own thing and I'm her number one fan. But basically this man's been cheating and disrespecting her for so long. So she goes and basically says, his friend who was part of his,

I was gonna say band, group, takeoff, who passed away. She goes, so funny you've been cheating on me this whole time because I hooked up with takeoff, period. Oh my God, you can't, here's the other thing, you can't bring the dead into it. You just can't do it. But you know what? The way I feel about air, like posting a receipt

and calling someone out on social media is the same way I feel about people crying on social media. Neither are for me. And you keep it inside, you keep all of it inside because one day you'll need it for something greater. And I do have to say there's something, I'ma say it, I have fucking receipts of shit. I have receipts of people who have lied and hurt me.

I feel like I have your receipts saved in a file. You have my receipts as well. I have my receipts, Hannah's receipts of people who have lied and hurt me. I feel like I have your receipts saved in a file. You have my receipts as well. I have my receipts, Hannah's receipts. I have other people's receipts. I don't even know how I've accumulated them. They're like, hold on to this in case I need it. I feel like once you release it into the wild, it better be the right time,

because then you've lost your power. It's no longer your receipt, it belongs to the people. It belongs to the people, and also it's out there and they know what your hand is. I'm keeping my receipt for when I need to. Hannah's very into blackmail. No, these people don't even know the receipts that I have because I didn't show them.

Well, that's the best thing about a receipt. You don't know what I'm packing. You don't know what I'm packing. Actually, I did try to show receipts at one reunion and Andy was like I don't care. He was like that is that it. Here's where it's good for me. My mental health, my anxiety kicks in that I can't look back at the receipt so I don't even know what I have in me that like induces too much. No well that's what happened. I didn't look back at stuff receipt, so I don't even know what I have in me that like induces too much. No, well that's what happened. I didn't look back at stuff

because I was so upset, and then once everything settled down, I was like, this voicemail's insane. Yeah. And everyone was like, it's seven months too late. No one cares anymore. Right. Someday.

Final drama. To upset all the millennials and the Gen Zs are gonna be like shut up we don't care Tia and Tamara don't talk. I really don't like it one I don't like it because I don't like when siblings don't talk I just find that to be I don't like it and I especially don't like it because they're twins which means they're feeling things and they're not saying them. No, that's illegal. That's illegal to not talk to your twin.

I feel like it really is. They're sending psychopathic stuff to each other. I don't know if that was the right word. It's basically like, yeah, it's not okay. No, it's not okay. And- It's HIPAA. It's a HIPAA violation to not talk to your twin. And I think if

this is all over like one of their husbands I'm gonna be really mad yeah that's gonna piss me off so they need a like a resurgence I need something good to happen for both of them and I need someone to come together like bring them back together maybe they should do a reunion with Andy Cohen I mean they should do something they should do something but with Andy Cohen. I mean they should do something They should do something but we're rooting for you guys. No, we are family Families and poor families everything families important. Anyway, speaking of family We love you get so much before we go because this was too good Nana posted your New York Times article, but first she posted a picture of herself

doing just something normal, and I could not stop laughing and I could not stop looking at it because I was like, I'm obsessed with Nana. So Nana posted a photo showing her decolletage sitting in her living room that my papa took, and the second photo was New York Times, and she was like, just a beautiful morning.

Also side note, my granddaughter is in the New York Times but I look beautiful as always, in case you were wondering. It was just, it made my whole freaking day. I commented, I was like, Nana, this is just so you. Last thing I wanna say is my last episode of In Bed with Paige Desorbo is on Tuesday night. So tonight. Who chooses the order?

Amazon I think did. Cause mine went out real quick. Yours was quick. Is it cause they were excited or they just didn't want to end with me? I think they were excited about you. They just want to put it out there. Who's the last one?

Andrea Lopez. Oh I love Andrea Lopez. It's so good. She does this episode as a bunch of different people and we loved it. Okay yeah she went above and beyond. She literally did a whole SNL sketch. She deserves it.

By the way, we still have some tickets available in these cities. So if you are living them, run. Atlantic City, Newark, Madison, Gobi Edgers, Milwaukee, Texas, and Cleveland. Okay. Okay, we love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling. Talk to you next week. Okay. Okay. We love you guys so much. Thanks for

giggling. Talk to you next week. Bye.