Giggly Squad - Giggling about brunch, aging backwards, and water aliens

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

We're questioning if anything is real and recapping our week of cosplaying as cowgirls.sign up for our newsletterget tickets to live showspre-order our book Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hannah and I travel a lot and let me tell you I am so sick of hotels. Like there's not one hotel that impresses me anymore. I'm just done with them and that's why Airbnb is such a great option. And who wants to go on a trip and share just one bathroom like hotels? And also I feel like you make so many more memories when you're in an Airbnb because your rooms are all in the same hallway. You can be in the kitchen together. It's just a lot more fun. I've stayed at so many Airbnbs for

bachelorette parties and it truly is the difference between a good bachelorette party and a bachelorette party. So next time you're planning a trip, try Airbnb. If you love listening to audiobooks, podcasts, and originals, then you have to be listening on Audible. It helps your imagination soar. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, and new ways of thinking. Listening on Audible can lead to positive changes in your mood, your habits, and ultimately your overall well-being. Find genres you love and discover new ones. Explore bestsellers, new releases, plus thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts,

and originals that members can listen to all they want with more added all the time. There's so much more to imagine when you listen. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca Lois, do you want to say something on the pod? Giggler Squad. Are you saying, what's up, gigglers? What's up, gigglers? Now let's say it louder. What's up, gigglers?

Gigglers. Yay! How y'all doing? Paige and I just came back from Texas and we've saved at least 22 minutes off our lives by saying y'all instead of you guys. I'm gonna be honest, I feel like I didn't meet enough people with like thick accents.

Like here's one thing about me. When we go to different parts of the country, I'm cosplaying. I want the full effect. Like I want all the stereotypes. I want, I wanna be in the mix. Well, tell them what happened when you took a photo in the elevator.

We like touched down in Texas and we're at like our first venue and I'm trying to like get in the elevator to take a picture and One of the maintenance guys that like works at the venue was like where where y'all trying to go Like he was gonna help me with the elevator and I just like instinctually said back. Oh, no problem, sir I'm just taking a picture and then I Then I was like, I'm so sorry, your culture is not my costume. I apologize.

We get down to Texas and I'm so excited because I put together an outfit like cute farm girl, cunty, like could not be more what a stereotype of what I think someone in Texas dresses like. But I thought they were gonna accept me with open arms. Well again, everyone's dressed like the club, and I'm here looking like. Annie get your gun.

Annie get your damn gun. Everyone was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I got brought a cowbell. Yeah, you were like, I'm living in Texas, like what are you doing? Shout out to Texas for being the first state that the Izzy Trash guy got booed off stage. That's never happened in the history of Izzy Trash. In the history of

Giggly Squad and let's just like let's just like run some crunch some numbers really quickly. We've never done either. I've, though a sentence, let me crunch some numbers quickly. No number has ever been crunched on Giggly Squad. Has it been misappropriated? Absolutely. Has it been crunched? Negative. Okay, this is our second tour. We are almost done with our second tour and we have done like 50 over 40.

Okay let's just say 50 cities so far. Last year let's say we did another let's just say we did another 50. We'll just round up. We don't we don't we actually have no idea what's going on. For the sake of the story for the sake of the story. Let's just say we've performed Giggly Squad 80 times 80 to 100 times never in the history of Giggly Squad has a man been booed off of stage have I been like You're actually for serious annoying me like leave the stage Have has man, has men, sorry. No, great question. Has men? Have they?

Phenomenal question to bring up. And never in the history of Giggly Squad has a man said, no, I'm not coming on stage. And that was the other show. Okay Texas, I have so much to say about Texas. This is the problem. There's a lot of problems going on. I got an abortion in the bathroom, came out and... I was like why are you looking at me weird? The men um have there been boos on Giggly Squad? Yes. Yes. There's always boos. If I'm doing my job well, that man will be booed. Do I want him to get stoned? No.

And will I break him down to build him back up? Yes. I have, like we are, it's an art form we're doing with Izzy Trash. I know how to navigate the crowd and the guy and keep it all. Cropacetic. No one gets hurt.

That was the word, that was literally the exact word I wanted to say, but I could never come up with that word. I'm not entirely sure on what it means, but... No, but it's perfect for the moment. This man comes up, and I think he was like black out, which is funny because the boys never get black out at Giggly Squad because they're scared. They stay alert. They need to stay alert, they don't know what's about to happen, they don't feel safe. Definitely stay woke, stay alert when you're at Giggly Squad and you have a penis. And that I want, I want the boys at a club to feel like how girls normally feel at a club. We have an escape plan at all times and are like, the only time you don't need an escape plan as a woman is at Giggly Squad.

The bathrooms are ours, it is as if the outside world, we've had the men go extinct and there's only like one or two in the crowd that we're procreating with. You know, like that's how we're keeping the world alive. So this man comes up drunk and also cocky. Like he was like, like I asked him a question, he's like, well repeated it back to me and I was like, oh no.

But then the crowd was like, I guess he showed enough disrespect that the crowd was like, we're not gonna even let Hannah and Paige deal with this, we're dealing with this. To the point that I was like, guys, it's okay, we got it. And the crowd was like, get him off. We didn't even get a question out.

I didn't get one question out for him. He gets kicked out. Then the next show in Austin, I see a douche bag, third row, and I said, are you a boyfriend? They said yes. I said, babe, come up. And he shakes his head no. Now a lot of guys do this and I go,

look at you acting shy, get your ass up here. He's like, no, I'm not coming up. And I'm like, okay, I've never felt rejection like this before. And I looked at him and I was like, I'm not gonna be mean And I'm like, okay, this is, I've never felt rejection like this before. And I looked at him and I was like, I'm not gonna be mean, which obviously is a lie, but I was like, I got you. Like we do this every show, like you came to the show,

this is the one thing you can do is entertain the gigglers and he wouldn't come up. And then you had a conspiracy theory. My conspiracy theory was one of two things. One, he's like old so shy that it like, what he would have literally had a panic attack and that I support like, he didn't wanna get into musical theater and that's fine.

I support not getting involved or he was so scared of what our questions were. And we don't go like, we don't go that hard. Like we're not trying to like break them. And we certainly don't do anything that would like actually jeopardize your relationship. I think he was like scared we were like actually gonna go hard and be like let me see the last DM you sent or like let me see the last text. And that's why I think he didn't come up. But also again I just made all of that up. So... But also, you're right. You've never been wrong.

I've literally never been wrong ever, but... Period. But it's funny because we're like, we're not going to go through your phone. But then the guy that comes up, I go, I ask them like, what's the background of your phone? And this guy pulls out like a whole to-do list that's on his background. And I go, I go, give me give me the phone babe and I look at it and I'm like first of all, I literally put my hands on his shoulder because I have a inspirational quote

on my phone and I was like we've both been through dark times. Which you've had for like a couple years now. I've had it because I'm a little superstitious so when things started going well I was like I can't change the quote but it still is like the most depressing quote on my phone. You're such a sports person. Like that wouldn't even run through my mind. No, if I change my background, the whole world will collapse. So everyone- It's the butterfly effect. Yeah, you're like- You're welcome. And I also like to see it to be like how far we've come,

so that when I'm sad, I'm like, remember when you were sad, sad? Remember when you were sad, sad, sad? So anyway, the first thing it says is like, be grateful, so I'm like, oh, this is dark. And then he said the most manly shit. He was like, when you're not doing anything, do pushups or squats, just do it. And I'm like, okay, toxic masculinity, damn.

And then my favorite was, by Friday, fix your finances. And it was so wholesome and so, that actually made me love him. I was like, that's so cute and stupid. But then he goes, set therapy appointment and then the following week set another therapy appointment. I go, you're so close, let's just set it to weekly so you don't have to keep setting one each week,

but you're so close. No, like pick one day that your therapist has that slot open and you're in there weekly. But no, it was so cute. but no it was so cute. I will say 52 shows has it's done me in. I'm I'm emotionally drained. I can't pick out another I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, no more clothes. I've literally exhausted. Okay, but can I just explain how Paige is? This is her Tuesday, but come Friday when we have to be in Miami, this bitch is going to have it together. I'm like, wait till you see my outfits tonight.

Throughout the tour, Paige will be like, I can't do it anymore. And then she'll like get a good diet coke and be like, Life is worth living. That diet coke in Dallas saved my life. That Diet Coke in Dallas saved my life. That Diet Coke in Dallas saved my fucking life. She was taking photos of it. I was like, this is dark. I'm gonna post that Diet Coke

because nothing hit the way that Coke did. Wait. Can you explain, wait, what? I need to bring something to the forefront to compliment you and say a personality trait that I don't think people know about you and I I've recently learned it and it's quickly become my favorite thing about you like I'll never I'll never go to another person for this specific situation. I have no idea what you're gonna say. Hannah has this crazy ability that in any city we're in, she will find you the best breakfast place. Like no ifs ands or buts.

Like you land, your room's not ready, that's fine. Hannah Berter is gonna take you to the most fire brunch you've ever had. Wait, no, people don't know this about me. People don't know this about me. Cause people be like, oh Hannah's not fun. Like she doesn't do coke and she doesn't party. Okay, I said it one time. Bitch, I party. I just, I party, but I party with pancakes to the face.

Like I, I'm dancing, I'm dancing, I know exactly what to order. I, I will find like in the middle of nowhere when I'm driving from like city to city, the perfect brunch spot. And like I have an eye for diners. Like I can tell when it's shit. No Hannah, you have an eye for a diner.

Eye. And it's like, it can't be taught. So like anyone listening, it's either have it or you don't. And you wanna know what? I don't have it. And that's fine because you have it. And I don't mean to like promote capitalism right now, but like I still fuck with Yelp.

And you've made fun of me before. I pull out my Yelp. I put brunch made fun of me before, I pull out my Yelp, I put brunch with breakfast spots, and then I'm looking at it and I'm looking through the photos, I'm looking through the reviews. You're going through vibes, you go through, you do it energetically. Energetically, I see their aura.

So there was a place in Dallas, but Paige had to walk like four blocks and I was like, she's gonna have a fit. Like literally a toddler. So like second block, she's like, Hannah, where are you taking us? And we see like one shop that has pink bows and she's like, is that, can we stop by the pink bow place? And I'm like, focus, we're going to food.

She goes, are you sure it's not that place? I'm like, no, it's not the place with the pink bows. That was a... No, it's not the place with the pink bows. That was a... You were fighting for your life and you were like, go towards the pink bows. No, that's not where we're going. I was fighting for my life. And then we get there and we order pancakes, happy as she's ever been.

She was like, I love tour. I started doing this really weird thing. It's not weird, it's actually genius, where I convinced myself because I always want eggs, but I also always want pancakes. So I convinced myself that if I order pancakes for the table, it's not like me getting pancakes, but then I've noticed that Hannah and Grace have literally never once

touched the pancakes for the table, and I in fact am continuously getting two entrees. I do have to say pancakes for the table is a power move. Everyone should be doing that at brunch. I'm obsessed with it. Pancakes for the table, cause it's like bread for the table. Exactly. It's extra bread for the table, because it's like bread for the table. Exactly, it's extra bread for the table.

Or like a little dessert to dabble in. Also, we are, do not tell me I could get one drink. When you get to brunch, you need your water, because you need to hydrate, you need your orange juice or Coke, whatever your juice or soda of choice is, and you need your caffeine. So I wanna drown myself in liquids before the eggs even come.

And these are just, that's just the law. You and Grace always get the same order. Well, Grace and I are very connected. You're very connected. I was sweet, do you remember how bitchy I was when I went up to go to the bathroom with you and you leave your two friends? Yeah.

Like you don't know if they're alone too much together and I go, maybe you guys could talk about Grace and Adamie. And then I walked away. Me and Grace, me and Grace have a different type of relationship than you and Grace. Like. She's like protective of you. She's very protective of me and she's very like weary that I'm gonna like break out into

like hysterics like I'm either gonna cry or freak the fuck out like there's really no in between for me on tour. Where Grace and I will just whisper to be like how's Paige doing today? Is she in a mood? I told I had to warn her one morning. I was like, Paige is gonna hate my outfit tonight, so just mentally prepare. She's not gonna be happy.

And Grace was like, are you serious? And I'm like, just letting you know. And it was so funny, because it was the one outfit that I was like, Paige is gonna ruin her night, and she doesn't even know that her night's gonna be ruined, and it's because of me. And then I put on this outfit, you turn to me and you go, hey, it's kinda cute.

And I was like, that? You like, the full plaid fit. You loved it. We've also started this entire bit that any city we go to, why is it any city that you're in that you don't live in, everything is so cute. So cute.

No, New Yorkers, when we visit any other city, will literally see a sign post and will be like, wait, that's literally so cute. I feel like living in New York City and then going to any other city, you don't feel like it's, even though New York is considered a small city, you don't feel like it's, even though New York is considered like a small city, I don't think of any other city in the country.

I don't think New York's considered a small city. I mean like geography wise. Like it's 12 miles. It has like- Okay, crunching numbers. Sorry, crunching numbers. New York City is 12 miles and it has like 8 million people. But when I go to other cities, I always think it's smaller than New York City.

Like any other city, I'm like, oh, this is a small town. Like when I'm in Chicago, I'm like, oh, cute small town vibes. So cute. Everything is cute. We'll literally get like a plate and I'll be like, this is the cutest plate. We love little things in other places. But you know what it is, we never leave the hotel, so when we leave the hotel

and there's like a little bit of sunshine, we're like, okay, cute. What's that job called when you like... What's it? Make stuff up on the microphone, podcasting, when you just talk at each other, don't say anything. What's the job called when it's like the study of people? Sociology.

Okay, I feel like because we've traveled to the country, like I could meet anyone and be like, you're from this part of the country. This is how like we may start becoming psychics. Like especially with Izzy Trash, when guys come up, because we've asked so many questions, we know based on like the shirt they're wearing, if they have an Apple watch, what kind of socks,

how they do their hair, we know like what career they have, what kind of like personality they have. I've even guessed some men's names right before. We're sociologists. We're sociologists. This is a scientific podcast. Speaking of science, have you heard about the water aliens? Are they on your algorithm?

They sure freaking are. Um. Why is no one talking about it? This is the craziest thing. It's not a conspiracy theory. They said, hey, there's some people and they live in the ocean. This is why they're pushing Domingo so hard right now

on SNL because they're trying to distract us from the water aliens. Shout out Marcelo. Shout out Marcelo. No, there's. Shout out Marcelo and his start which was Hannah Berger's Bachelorette Party like I don't

think he's like remembering his roots and where he came from and it was Hannah's Bachelorette Party in which we convinced him to do that set to like become a comedian and now on SNL. We're also managers and agents If you're wondering who the girls are behind Marcelo it's us We took a chance on an unknown kid and we said, you're a star. We crank out talent. Look, we have an eye for these things.

We sure do. And we have an eye for humor. Yeah, the water aliens. Like hello? What are we gonna do? What are we gonna, are they cool? Are they not? Like I need some more information and more.

I'd love to think they are cool. I've heard, then I've gotten on conspiracy theory TikTok of what their demeanor is, where they're from, all this weird shit. We have to see who's talking about them. Is it their friends talking about them? Because then they're cool, but if it's their enemies, then obviously the enemies would talk shit on them.

Like. Here's why I am going with the thought of like, that they're cool, is because, like they've been in the sky. Like they've seen, like they're saying that like. Are they in the sky or the water? They're saying that like their little contraption things that they're in or whatever, have gone up into the sky, and then they go back down and they live under the water

so it's like they've seen us they know about us and they're like we have no interest and it's kind of cunt the current in the current climate we're gonna go under the water so they have like a whole town underwater like i don't know i don't know are they hot I just feel like they see us and they're like, ew. Like they're New Yorkers going to any other city. They're like cute, but I'd never live here. Literally me going anywhere in the Midwest. I'm like so cute. I have no interest. me going anywhere in the Midwest. I'm like so cute, I have no interest. Yeah, I'm just, I was watching this alien abduction thing on Netflix about how this woman was like, she's like this Italian woman that was just like one day

the aliens like put something in my nose and they did an x-ray and there's like a little thing in my nose and they're like tracking me. Are you ever pushed to the point where you're like where is all my money actually going? Well you'll be shocked to learn that the average US consumer makes about 70 payments per month. There's no way you would be able to track that on your own. That's why you need Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that empowers you to save more, spend less, and take control of your financial life. Rocket Money can help you set up custom budgets by identifying top spending categories and suggesting areas where you can adjust your spending habits.

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Let's talk about Mike Tyson and Jake Paul. That rigged, not a real thing. Like how have... I'm happy that Mike Tyson got $20 million. I didn't have to see elder abuse on my TV. I feel like, okay, this is also so crazy. Me, Hannah and Grace were in, where were we? We were driving. We were driving from some city in Texas

to another city in Texas, I literally can't even tell you. And everyone makes fun of my iPad, but hey, we watched the fight on my iPad and this is gonna be crazy, we used a hotspot and Hannah literally thought it was aliens. Wait, so I don't believe in hotspots? Hannah does not believe in hotspots. I have a question.

If my internet wasn't working today and we wanted to do this Zoom, Could you hotspot? Could I have used a hotspot? Could I have used it? Yeah. Like would it have worked for a Zoom? Yeah.

Like does it max out? Like it could do a Zoom. It could do a Zoom. Could I download a video? Yeah, you could probably download a video. Could I contact a water alien? Anyway. Can I download a video? Yeah, you could probably download a video. Could I contact a water alien? Okay, so my toxic trait is I think I could do a Mike Tyson impression.

Look, Jake Paul's gonna die. I'm a killer and I'm gonna kill him and that's just what happens. And I love my pigeons and I love my daughter and I think I have a son, I'm not sure. And look, they're gonna die. I can't help it. I can't help it.

It's also just like, he has a lisp. No one's talking about it. No one talks about it. I'm just doing my Andrew Collins with a higher octave. No, but that's why I was scared because Jake Paul comes in all flashy. His brother's spraying him with whatever they're promoting. I had to look up what that was,

because it was, which is probably exactly what they wanted you to do. Yeah. It was like a spray deodorant. Whatever, it's a spray deodorant, and they're milking it, and they have cars and explosions. They had pigeons in a box. I loved, I just loved being on TikTok after

and like all the girls just being like, oh, women are so emotional. And it's just a picture of Jake Paul rolling in on like that car. It's like, we're so dramatic, okay. Yeah, and then Mike Tyson shows up just himself in a ripped black shirt and I'm like, I'm out. I'd be so scared.

I would have been peeing my pants. Also when I found out that Mike Tyson doesn't brush his teeth, I was like. That's insane behavior. That's insane behavior and that's why I would not wanna fight him. No. Not that, so then they started fighting

and at first we're like, okay Mike, it's 58, he can't fight. But then everyone's saying he didn't do one uppercut, which is his known move. I've heard stories that in the contract it said that Mike Tyson could not perform any uppercuts and could not knock him out in the first round. I think that he would have been knocked out in the first round but if they went to eight rounds they were gonna get more money and they need and Mike Tyson wanted the money and I

Stand I stand with you. Well that little girl interviewed Mike Tyson. It was so cute and she was like Mike Tyson What does this mean for your legacy? and he was like legacy the made-up and we're all gonna die and be underground someday and she was like, Mike Tyson, what does this mean for your legacy? And he was like, legacy that made up and we're all gonna die and be underground someday. And she was like, oh, I never thought about that. She was like, perfect, thank you. That girl quit her job and she was gonna be a future sports reporter

and he went to the dark side with her. But anyway, long story short, I'm just sick of fake shit. Can we get back to being real? Hannah, I'm so glad you said that because I had the exact same feeling the other day where I was just like... I'm sick of marketing. I'm like, is anything real? Everything's clickbait.

Everything is clickbait nowadays, and I'm so fucking sick of it. Okay, well then you know what? I mean, this is a perfect time for me to call myself out because a couple of pods ago I was on here like complaining about rage bait and I was just like, what is rage bait? Like this, like it's like really annoying me and it's like a made up thing and blah, blah, blah.

I posted a picture yesterday in my grid that was a bunch of things in a TSA bin, now. I was gonna ask you about this. Someone commented and said lipstick cap off, you know about rage bait. Now I was not aware that that was something that was infused in rage bait, like taking your lipstick cap off.

Also guys, I wanna preface, I did not take that at the actual TSA line, you freaks. How could I have possibly gotten that iconic shot? If you think that me and my assistant aren't over here thinking of new aesthetics and cute things, I ordered a TSA bin on Amazon. All my TSA bin picks, like if you ever see a TSA bin pick where it's like cute aesthetic accessories, I have a TSA bin pick where it's like cute, aesthetic accessories,

I have a TSA bin and I take it in my living room. You're the problem. No, I know, that's why I'm being truthful and honest. I love that you're open and honest about that, but you ordering a TSA bin on Amazon is the craziest. That's up there with the girls taking photos in the private jets, that's just one chair in Hollywood, like in a street. I think it looked, I think those pictures

are so cute. No, it looked so fucking cool. I did comment, I was like, that's why you took so long in TSA. Yeah, like I could have never gotten that in TSA. I'm throwing in different bags, we're doing different shoes, we're like, I'm playing. I'm over here playing. So I commend you for not only

understanding what RageBait is but then participating in it. Just trying to immerse myself in the culture so that I really know. And that shows how you can learn and change perspective on something and embrace it things that you previously hated so maybe you're bringing the world together in this political climate. So Grace posted a bringing the world together in this political climate. So Grace posted a bunch of stuff on Instagram and you commented, take down this photo. Then Grace told me that you can go in

and take down a photo after posting. So I'm connected to the Gagley Squad account. So I was like, what am I doing, waiting for Grace to take down this horrible photo, let me go onto the account. And you can delete the, I think you can only delete in like the carousel of like however many are in the dump. I wanna say you can only delete the first one,

but I might be wrong. I think you can go in and delete other ones. I had no idea. That was like a- A woman in STEM. Yeah, a feature that was updated a little bit ago. I have a pitch for the next Emily in Paris. Okay. Because I heard that, well, my mom's watching it,

she loves it, I know she's in Paris, and then they're kind of running out of ideas, so they brought her to Italy. I wanna see Emily in Pittsburgh. I wanna see Emily go to a regular city, which actually has, Pittsburgh has beautiful water. Just a town. Just a town.

I wanna see Emily meeting the guy who is a plumber and flirting with him and doing marketing for Pittsburgh's. Steelers. Steelers. and flirting with him and doing marketing for Pittsburgh's. Steelers. Steelers. I wanna see Emily in Pittsburgh next. I'm sick of this glamorous, let's bring it back to the States, America needs you right now, Emily. Because you wanna know what, nothing's real.

Nothing is real. You still haven't watched The Substance with Demi Moore, have you? I haven't, but you want to know what? I started the first five minutes of it and I fell asleep. I do have to say it's not a chill movie. It's a movie that like... Well, when it started, here's the thing that I don't like when it comes to movies. Like it does. They don't preface that it's super fucking artsy. Like the way it shot.

There should be a warning. There should be some type of warning. If you're like, hey, this is some artsy bullshit. Yeah, like I need a warning like, hey, we're going to sing more than two songs. Thank you. I'm out. Hey, it's going to be shot from like a different angle lens that you rarely see. Thank you so much. I'm out Like what did Craig the DP think of their?

He wasn't around I Professional opinion it's the kind of thing you're gonna watch and then you have to turn to the person next to you and like you're Gonna have a strong opinion on it like the internet is divided. So I think everyone should watch it. I will say Demi Moore is legit aging backwards. I wanna know what she's done. And can we talk about Christina Aguilera? Because is that her? Well, Christina Aguilera and Lindsay Lohan

both sacrificed the blood of orphans and injected it into their spine. And then they now look like they're 17. Yeah, like how does Christina Aguilera look like that? Like for serious, I need her to say what she did. I feel like she definitely went on Ozempic for like a little bit. But like, how? she definitely went on Ozempic for like a little bit. But like, how? The stem cells of baby toads.

Yeah, it's just, it's kind of crazy. Technology is getting like scary, but I do have to say, and someone on, I don't know who said it, but it's important on TikTok. It wasn't me. They said, would you rather look weird, but young? Look weird, but young, okay. Like you look young, but you look off.

Okay. Or just look a little bit like you aged. A little bit like I aged. A little bit like I aged. I don't wanna look weird. I can't wait to look old, and we talk about this all the time. No, you're so excited. I wanna be one of those interesting older women

that wears thick glasses. Big glasses, yeah. Big glasses, and it's honestly one of the hardest parts of my life is that I have 20-20 vision, so I can't, and I really get over-stim I have glasses on I feel like you can't take it off If you ever see hannah and sunglasses Seriously, I'm fighting for my hair because they will be off in the next five seconds You've caught a rare moment where she has them on. Yeah, I walked into a car

The other day she was trying to put her Z belt on and she couldn't click it and she was like, it's because I have sunglasses on. I couldn't see shit. I also wear the cheapest sunglasses. But I wanna be an older woman with a big smock. Okay. And big thick like porta shell or like bright green glasses.

And then like gray short hair hair or a bob moment. And I'm busy. I'm yelling at someone on the phone. And I have cool jewelry that I got in Milan and then in my trip to South America. And you just have a story for like every, everything that's in your home, you have like a story behind it.

It's not just like tchotchkes. It's like it has- And I curse. I curse, but it's hilarious. Like everyone's like, watch out, Gram is, oh, there's the F-bomb. And you have like three grandkids. And let's be honest, by that time Des will have passed.

Yeah, oh that's- And I will have a rotating suitors and no one's allowed to tell the suitors that there are other suitors. So when they come in, they think their grandma's only one. And I said, don't tell them that grandma saw someone different last night. Yeah, you're basically, you wanna be Martha Stewart,

but like a little bit more eclectic. Yes, eclectic Martha Stewart. And that's your vibe. And that's my vibe. What's your vibe gonna be? My hair is gonna be dark. Mine will be dyed. I will go every six weeks and get my grays touched up.

Or they'll come to your home. Cause you will not go outside. You wanna know what? At some point I will build a salon in my home. Like at some point there will be like chairs that you can get your hair washed in my home. There will be like a spot where like a masseuse can come. I'll definitely have like a steam room and a sauna.

Like at some point in my life, you could never leave my home and be fine. Like that is my dream. My dream is to have such a successful life that inside my home, I never need to leave. You have your own Atlantis in your home. Yes. You are a water alien of your mansion.

I love that for you. Thank you. Not to bring politics up, but what's a cabinet? Who cleans it, who stocks it. Why are there cabinets and are they organized? Are they in the house, in the White House? Are they not in the White House? Are they in with the water aliens?

If we had a cabinet, who would be in it? Great question. First and foremost, Grace Battle. Oh. Grace. Grace would be head of our cabinet. Head of the cabinet. Snoop Dogg would be there for just like general vibes.

Then Butter and Daphne. I'm putting Martha Stewart in my cabinet. Obviously. For sure. Cardi B. Cardi B. Domingo. Domingo would 100% be in our cabinet.

Matthew McConaughey just for like a little structure. Just for like someone to really lean on in hard times. You love Matthew McConaughey. I'm obsessed with Matthew McConaughey. I've always loved Matthew McConaughey and I think I feel very connected to him because we share a birthday. I didn't know that.

Scorpio Kings, who else would be in it? I actually share a birthday with Bethany Frankel, Matthew McConaughey, and I wanna say Oprah. Wow. Let me look that up though, because I could have literally made that up. When is Oprah's birthday? Yep, I made that up.

January 29th is her birthday. Whatever, I'll ride with Matthew McConaughey and Bethany Frankel. What up, fucked up trio that would be. How insane. The fall is all about getting together with friends. Whether it's a festive fall brunch or maybe a friendsgiving, Vizzy Hard Seltzer has vibrant dual flavors in each can.

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celebrating Friendsgiving, why not give Vizzy a try? For more information, visit vizzihardselter.ca. Must be legal drinking age. Actually, wait, I kind of do want to say something. I've been seeing a lot of discourse online recently and I just want to say like I do not watch Real Housewives of New York City. I don't watch anything on Bravo because it just like I would need an instant beta blocker like I can't do it. But I want to come out with like an like not the same opinion as everybody else. Like people are hating the new Real Housewives of New York City.

Like, I mean, they're going hard in their TikToks and in their comments. And I just- Oh, they're like in their comments. Yeah, just being like, this show sucks, you guys all suck. Like there's, and everyone loved it last year and blah, blah, blah.

I just wanna say- Let's get a professional opinion right now. I just wanna say from like, yeah, from a professional opinion, you like everyone when they're on for their first season. Why would they make the show that you don't like everyone? They want you to watch the show so yes you are going to like everyone when they're on for their first season and everyone on that show was a first

season cast member i do think that we should give the real housewives of new york city a little bit of grace it is very hard to film a reality tv show and every single person on that cast has never filmed a reality TV show. They have no idea what is going on. And like, yeah, okay, they did their first season. They're like, okay, yeah, we know. And then it came out and they were like, yeah, we know how to film a reality TV show. Then they get hit with a second season

and they have no one to turn to because no one's ever filmed a TV show before. That is such a really important point speaking as people who came into a show. Yeah. When you're the new people you look around and there's a flow to how things go. Correct. It's basically like imagine shooting a movie and no one's ever shot a movie before and they're like do it. You need a couple people who were like this is how there's a flow to it. This is how we shoot. And that is one thing I will say about Summer House,

like coming in as a new person, we very quickly learned and were taught by the cast members that were already on the show. This is how you film and this is what happens. And we like learned, but after we filmed our first season, then we came back our second season and still had more things to learn of like the flow and how what you talk about.

Well, cause let's be honest, for a good show to happen, you need certain characters, you need a storyline, you need arcs and it takes a lot of people, like it is work and it also is not just a bunch of people talking Even though it seems effortless like that. There's Storylines that everyone has and when people are like, oh they're producing themselves Because you're literally told you need to have a storyline or you're kicked off the show, right? And I just think that I Just think

That they did a real disservice. To put together the perfect cast is it never happens. It's way too, like it's so hard to get. They should not have had everyone be green. They should have kept some legacy. They shouldn't be called legacy. They should, that's like, they're alive. They're still alive.

They're still alive. But I think there is something important to be said about people who know the ropes and know how to make a good season. And I also wanna say one more thing, since we're laying it all out there. The reason people's first seasons, they make you likable, is because if something's gonna happen to you later on,

people have to care. And no one cares if they never felt connected to you in the first place. So a lot of people come in and their first season, they get shown in the best possible light. And then their second season or third season is normally when shit hits the fan. And they're like, how could this happen?

I did the same thing I did last season. And it's like, well now we're not introducing you anymore. We're now using you for storylines. Like I've seen so many things cut from my own show from other shows because it's like, well nobody would care because nobody cares about that person or nobody cares about this drama. There are a lot of times where you're like,

how did only one person be the only drama all season no there was other drama but they knew that it wasn't what the audience wanted to see right and so I think like everyone coming so hard at them for their second season like they're unable to be like we don't know how to film a show yeah they can't come out it's not but it's like it's not their fault but I also think they didn't even know while filming the second season what they didn't know. Right, like they didn't know, like, oh, the second season, it's not as good as the first season.

Like they had no idea, because like they don't have anything to go off of. And also, if they're listening, shout out, if you're cast on a TV show, you can never believe what they've made you look like. Because once you believe you're the person that they're putting on TV, then you're believing the hype of yourself,

which is not true. It's still a character. I just think there's such like a learning curve in doing reality TV. Like I am certainly not the person I was when I did my first season of reality TV. I am certainly not the person I was when I did my first season of reality TV. I'm not even the person I was when I filmed this last summer. There's such a learning curve and there's such different aspects of it. And the best advice I ever got from someone was 50% of people are gonna hate you, 50%

of people are gonna love you, and neither of them are right because they don't know you actually. So like, yeah, I used to watch the show when I was like, when we would get it before it would air now, like, it's the way I feel about Instagram comments. It's actually none of my business anymore. Like once it's out, once your art is out into the world,

you don't own it anymore. So like for me to watch it and go through what I think viewers are thinking when they watch it, that's too much anxiety. So I can't watch it. I was told something similar. I was told you can't believe the hype or the hate because if you start believing the hype about yourself, then naturally you're gonna believe the hate also and people are just judging based on the oversimplified version of you. And it's true, I actually just watched this documentary about WWE, about Vince McMahon. It was a long, long documentary, but WWE is all storylines.

And the way they get a good storyline is getting emotion from people. So we said once they'd get someone, and they wouldn't know if the fans would like or hate the person, but they just needed a reaction. And if a guy walked up and people booed, he was happy, because it means the audience is engaged. But if a guy walked up to fight and no one did anything,

he was like, this isn't gonna work. So they needed to at least get people to love or hate. I mean, at least people are talking about Roni, but I guess they're mad that it's boring. I guess they're saying they're not watching it, it's boring, blah, blah, blah. But I just think give them a little grace. They're figuring out how to film a TV show.

This is only the second time they've been on TV. They don't, but then you could say the same for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City that they were all new too. True, but they crushed it. But they have been crushing it. But I just think there's a lot of pressure in New York because their first season, they hyped up so much.

Every single article was like New York City's back, these are the best women in New York City. And so I think it gave the viewer, oh they're gonna perform the way we're used to New York City performing. You guys, this is the realest reality TV lore you're getting right now. With Salt Lake City they had to prove themselves.

They had to prove themselves. They came on being like, you're in Utah, like who gives a fuck, we don't even understand your religion, we don't understand your families, we don't know who you guys are, why should we care? And these women gave everything. They gave everything. They went to jail.

They went to jail. But New York, I think Bravo really wanted to make sure and guarantee that the audience was gonna like the new New York and not Miss the old New York so they pushed it so hard to be so good And it's almost like they didn't earn it and they were just given like you're the new people and you guys are great Yeah And then I think the girls are protecting this brand that they were just given and they didn't earn. And I don't mean this, like obviously they've worked hard

in some capacity with what they could do. But no one's gone to jail. It's just, it's harder to film a reality TV show than people think and it's harder to give like good entertainment and have good flow and not harp on situations for too long and get to the next moment, but also give enough context to the moments.

It's not as easy as people think. It's very difficult, especially a friend group. I think also, what would you do if you were Bravo? Would you bring back Dorinda and Luann and try to force a friendship there? I don't think I would because it's almost like we're past that. Like if they had done that in the first season,

like they kept Sonia and Luann and then they brought in the new girls, I think that maybe would have helped. Even if they got rid of Sonia and Luann like in the second season or in the third season, it still would have given the new girls like something to go off of. I think like genuinely, and I've met a lot of the Real Housewives of New York City, like the new ones and they're all very lovely and nice. And so I do think like giving them a little bit of grace of like,

okay let them film again and like, like it will get better as time goes on. But second season. Yeah, second season is hard for any cast member, let alone an entire show of all second season cast members. Yeah, I mean, also, I just want to preface this. This is coming from two people. I've never seen a minute of the new Rodney. I have not watched a second of this season. I also need to say that. But everything we just said is a fact.

Is a fact. Is true and is a fact. Because I just kept seeing videos of like, it sucks, this is why it's bad and blah blah blah. And it's like, okay, well, none of the people making the videos, none of you have filmed a reality TV show, so I don't think you actually know why it's bad.

And so I felt like I had to say like, it's not bad. It's just, it's harder for them. Like I will say when we came on to Summer House, like we did have very good cast members who were like, this is now we're gonna do this. And now we're gonna do that. Our first season while they were introducing us and they were like repeating how many times I played tennis

and you were talking about you love fashion outfits, that couldn't have sustained the first season. We needed other people's messy storylines. Right. So what happened is the first season, everyone was just introducing themselves and they're like, this is so fun. Second season, we don't give a fuck, we know who you are.

Show me what you're bringing to the table if you wanna do reality TV. I'm just gonna say this too. It is very nerve wracking filming a television show that you have no control of the edit. So like, yeah, they're watching what they say because they don't wanna get canceled or they don't wanna be the most hated.

Like, yeah, they're nervous. Like, wouldn't you be nervous? It's once you're liked, it's hard cause you wanna keep that. So then you're like, when they ask you like, hey, can you bring up this problem? You're like, why? Tell someone else to, I don't want, why would I risk it?

And then you have a bunch of people who are trying to save face. That's not, you think anyone in Vanderpump ever tried to save face? Right, right. They're nervous that like everyone's gonna hate them. And I, and it's so easy to be like, who cares what people think?

And I am such a split personality when it comes to that. Like I want everyone to like me, but also then I'll get into moods where like, I don't give a fuck if you like me or not. Yeah, but it's a constant. Yeah, it's a constant battle of like, wait, this episode's gonna come out and I'm gonna be perceived and people are either gonna love or hate me.

And in reality, I've never met any of them. And so like, I think they're all just like, kind of going through it a little bit. And I do like feel for them that like, so many people are like not liking it and that's gotta be tough because like because you do go through a filming season and you're like, that was hard. I do think the best shows on reality TV

is when there's an understanding within the cast that everyone's gonna have their ups and downs, but together we're making a good show. And I think that's where there's been ups and downs with Summerhouse when it became less about us making a good show and instead trying to push people out or that kind of thing or be like who's the man of the group

or whatever, which has happened with Vanderpump. But when everyone could be like put our heads down, let's do a good show. But then it's hard because you don't know who might come out looking the worst when it airs. So you're like, why should I? It becomes about egos. After you're done filming,

I feel like Love Island this year actually did, kind of explained it a little better. Leah came out of the house and had no idea people loved her because she had no idea what was being shown and what the other perspectives were. So Real Housewives of New York City, they filmed and then they had no idea who was gonna be loved or hated. And so then they go into it airing

and they're scrambling of, well, I didn't say this then and I had this conversation before. And so then you try and backtrack and it's like- On Bravo, you know a little bit more, because Love Island, it's going out every day. With Bravo, you know by the questions that you're being asked in interviews.

So you'll see in an interview, or you'll hear that everyone's talking about you in interviews, so you're like, oh shoot, I think I'm the problem. But it's like, also everyone could be talking about someone else, so it's like, it's basically like after a hangout, which group are then you hanging out with of who's talking about who?

You can talk about anyone after the hangout. So anyway, it's just, it's an interesting perspective and I think like WWE is a perfect example of how like you need people that you like and people that you hate but that it's it's not always accurate and they don't always know how people are going to respond. With that said is this why there's some like rumors going around that you might join Roni? That okay who started that Daphne? Daphne literally started that. No, I don't know who started that, but it's a different production company,

so it's not just Bravo being like, and hey, we're gonna put you on this show now. My contract is with my production company, and so it's not as easy, I think, as people would think. Now, if someone said, hey, we want you to be on Real Housewives of New York City next year and not Summer House, like would I do that? I would definitely think about it.

Like I would definitely have to weigh like certain pros and cons because that's me going into, that would be a repeat of me going into an established friend group and then like having to film with them and like like I wouldn't have a friend and so like I would actually be really nervous to do that. Would it probably fit with my lifestyle now better? 100%. It doesn't really even cross my mind day to day because it's like I'm on Summer House. So like that's my show. I don't need to be on Real Housewives

of New York City. But the only reason I wanted to say all of this was because I felt bad that they were all, not that I even know the drama or the storylines, but I felt bad seeing that they were all getting such hate. And I was like, they're all a second season cast. They don't know what they don't know. As they say in sports, they're a young team. They're a young team. They're a young team and they're rebuilding.

And I think we have to give them a little bit of grace. Yeah, let's do it how the men do it when they support their favorite teams that suck. They're a young team. It's weird because I guess people have been saying like, oh it's boring, it's boring, but you can't get mad at the girls necessarily. It's a group project, you know. It's a full group project. You can't get mad at like just one because she's not giving. It's like, okay, well this one's not giving this and it's so it's a group project and not tough toxic positivity But it takes one person sleeping with another person's husband and then you have Sandoval and Vanderpump's back So maybe let's you know, let's keep our eyes open. Yeah and our legs. Oh Goodness gracious. Um, I had one more note about cats

Okay. Yes, and we'll take that. Which I was talking to you a little bit about, but I realized, I have a joke in my Netflix special. I don't know if I put it in it. Anyway, it's about how cats just have really bad PR, and dogs have amazing PR, and cats' PR is horrible. The Pickable PR and dog PR, I think, work together.

Because every dog in every movie is like the best friend and he's there for him and Marley and me and Air Bud, they play fucking basketball. Cats in movies are always an afterthought, they're never part of the storyline. It's always like there's a cat sleeping in the background not dealing with anyone or sitting on the villain's lap. So associating it with evil, or a witch,

and cursing people, and no one sees how cats actually are. So when people like you get a cat, and you're like, oh my god, I had no idea, it's not your fault. The media has- Brainwash me. The media's brainwashed you, and there's a war on cats in the media.

Because if I was actually show like a TV show of Hannah with my, and who has a cat, you wake up, my cat's sleeping with me. Get up to eat, the cat's coming with me. We go watch TV, the cat's with me. But in movies, the cat doesn't want to be on camera. Here's the thing cats are just so private. Cats are like I'm not pretending to cuddle with you with this man with a like huge camera in my face like I'm not getting involved with that. Yeah they I would dare to say cats have boundaries and we should take we should take a note. Dogs are a little attention whoring. Did I say on the pod how Dez lost his dog? I think I did. He lost this dog in Ireland. And he was with a new family by nighttime.

It was sleeping in a new family's bed at night. Butter would never. No, Daphne might, Daphne might. If there's tuna treats. Let's be honest, you've been gone for a couple days and Daphne's not happy. She's not happy. And she has full-time cat sitting.

She has a rotating. Here's the thing, she's such a bitch. Daphne is her mom. I mean, she literally, she lashes out and then she's like, sorry. And I'm like, it's fine, you're so cute. She has round the clock hair. This bitch was not alone for, she was alone for like,

I'm not kidding, eight hours. My brother left on a Sunday night and I was arriving on a Monday morning. Like she truly was not alone for more than 12 hours shit on my living room carpet I Got the stain up, but the smell is it's it's suffocating me. It's killing me I had to I had to put all my windows up and like shut the doors last night to like air it out

I literally have to move and I'm like, why did you do that? I'm like, did you literally do that just because you were alone for a couple hours until I got home and she- I think you spoiled her. You spoiled her, so she, whenever she's alone, she's like, this is unheard of, this is crazy. She's like, I'm not doing this.

She's like, I think she knows, I clean everything up immediately and she's like, this will getheard of. This is crazy. She's like, I'm not doing this. She's like, I, cause she knows, I think she knows like I clean everything up immediately. And she's like, this will get her home. Maybe she didn't love that she wasn't the first grid posts in your last Instagram dump. But she doesn't have Instagram. So how would she know? Except if you told her. And, oh.

And. Oh. And. Cats actually know what's going on at all times. I don't know how. I wanna let you guys know we have a couple tickets left in Orlando coming up this weekend on Saturday. So, cause we added another show in Orlando. So get tickets if you're gonna be in Orlando.

And then we have Connecticut, Ohio, Windsor and a couple tickets left in New York. So go to gigglysquad.com. We also have holiday merch coming out. That will be on Friday. Friday. I'm very excited about this drop. Like it's top tier.

Yeah. We worked really hard on designing it. And we have our last couple of Giggly Squad shows. It's a home stretch. It's the last couple of outfits. Keep your head up guys. I'm gonna push through. We love you so much

and thank you for giggling with us always. Bye.