Giggly Squad - Giggling about cigars, cabaret, and compression socks

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Paige had her best celebrity sighting yet and Hannah willingly went out on a Saturday night. Thanks to Waymo for supporting this episode! #WaymoPartnershop merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up Gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Hello, my gigglysaurus rexes. Let me just say, I was like, Paige, can we get the party started? I need to complain about something. And she goes, I have to complain about you.

With her long-ass finger, she goes, you. So now I'm scared, alone. No one's on my side. What did I do? What did I do besides pull out my own back? I'm going to tell you exactly what you did. On the pod last week, You said, oh, do you ever dream about exes?

And I was like, I haven't dreamt about an ex in 10 to 15 years. Like, it's just not something that happens to me. I woke up this morning cursing. I laid in bed. I go that fucking bitch. Not only did I dream about the worst ex I've ever had in my life. He came up to me with a knife and said, if you don't kiss me? If you don't stop, I'll kill you.

Oh, stop what? We don't know. Hopefully it's not one of those dreams that's like a Marvel movie where there's a new one every night and it like continues the plot. Maybe we'll see what happens. Well, you want to know what's crazy is the only way, the only reason I got out of the dream was something in real life woke me up. Kitty, saved you. Like a sound like woke me up. And I was like, oh my God, I was just having the weirdest dream.

And then I didn't go back into it. Thank God. Do I feel like it's worse when you dream good things about them? Like you're like, oh my God, he was so perfect. And then you have to like spend all day remembering all the worst memories. And then you're like, I could have done without that. No, I definitely went throughout my day today. Like, yeah, he is a sociopath.

In every realm, he's fucking crazy. In every realm he's ruining my life. Also, I do look like Angelian Jolie's cousin who like is just not, should not, wants to be a spy. like can't because she just like can't get her stuff together but she keeps trying out you know what's crazy is i didn't even notice you were wearing sunglasses because you see me as pure energy yeah i'm just like that is the that's whatever her journey is today you see me by my aura colors you don't you don't process actual things you see um i'm not in a good mood okay mm-hmm am i pMSing yes but that's not it that's not the reason what was the reason was look as you guys know i pulled out my back but like

somehow it's getting worse like did people know that did you say that last well i made fun of these old men playing tennis with me and then i pulled my back playing tennis with old men and i do have a l4 l5 situation i'm a little bulge disc if any of the gicklers or carpenters and it was bad and i got I got a massage yesterday and it was going well. And then the lady like pushed my knee towards my chest like as a stretch. And I saw God. Yeah. But like or Satan.

One of the two. And then I, they left and I told Des I'm like, I can't find a position that I'm not like shooting pain. Wait, like the massage like fucked you up more. Yeah. Oh, like she pinched a nerve. She pinched the nerve like more. and then I drugged myself. Yeah.

And I was, I slept all yesterday. It was so peaceful. Like, I highly recommend it. And then this morning I got a chiropractor appointment. Made Des walk half an hour with me to the chiropractor. Because I'm not going to doctor's appointment alone. You walked? We walked.

Okay, so you're not fat injury. No, walking is good for your back. But I was like limping. Yeah, hobbling. But like, I like like the drama. So like, I'd let him get like really far ahead of me and be like, wait. I'm coming. also because he always has a physical ailment and you're probably used to that so now you're like

rolls reversed yeah we get there places closed perfect because it is labor day and I'm like then why did they let me book an appointment he's like who did you talk to on the phone I go I don't talk to people on phones you're like it's online I booked it online I clicked appointment on this day they shouldn't have let me fucking click it so then I didn't get a chiroprime I'm still in pain and I'm alone and scared. Oh, that's why you were like, I'm ready to record the pod. So you never even went to your appointment. Well, you went and did, but you didn't have it.

Also, then I'm realizing if I want to see like a real doctor, you don't just go see a real doctor. You have to go to another doctor to get referred to a real doctor. It seems like a fucking pyramid scheme to me. And have you ever tried to log into one of these doctor sites? They're made up. It's insane. Like, if someone approaches.

me and says the word portal. No, everyone's like, do you have the portal? Have you downloaded the portal? I'm like, shut your bitch ass up. Whenever I hear portal, I'm like, I'll kill you. Why are all the portal so different? None of them work. Can we just have a universal portal that is for medical reasons?

Like, you know, when you applied to college? And like, I think it was like when we got to college or when we got into high school, it was like one app. Remember it was called like the con. an app and it was like the same way you applied and like multiple schools would like take that application like come on just make it normal because the biggest issue is you have to come up with a new username and password for all these sites and they all have different extents of like what kind of password one password said 14 letters i said 14 letters no word is 14 letters what do you

talk about 14 letters and then i'm not i'm past the point i just no i'm so upset and then des was like, okay, well, is it an online chiropractor appointment today? And I'm like, let me check the portal. And then it's like, can you log into the portal? And I'm like, no, can't log in so we'll never know. And then it's like, can't remember your password. So you make a new password. And then they're like, can't be the old password. So I have like 400 passwords in 400 portals and my back still hurts. Actually, this is added to my back pain. The only thing I know about back pain because during COVID, Gary threw his back out like so bad. He was like bedridden. He almost like went crazy.

Yeah. And the number one thing that he did that he thinks fucked him up even more was like putting heat on it. Like that you should really be putting cold, not heat. Okay, that's good to know. That like a hot pack will make it more inflamed where colds will like shrink up. I was talking to Des about our friendship. Mine and yours or yours and Des's? Good question.

I'm like, let's talk about us. Am I your best friend? Am I your best friend? No, but we're talking about Gigli Squad. was like page because sometimes he likes checking in with like where your head's at with stuff oh no that's it's a slippery slope you know and i go page is doing well and i'm like you know she wants to do giggly squad like forever yeah and he was like really i'm like no no she jokes all time about like but what what else we're gonna do what would i talk to about stuff going on in my life and i was like we're

literally going to be like welcome to giggly squad this episode sponsored by arp yeah we're so excited to have you and i'm like she has a new line of dentures coming out like we've We've planned. We have the future set. Like, don't worry about us. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit that, like, through different phases in our lives. And granted, we've only had this podcast for five, six years. So, like, six years, I feel like there's not that much different. You'd be surprised. But I feel like we do talk about things. Like, a perfect example is nipple hair. Who's out here talking about real stuff? Are you saying we're changing the game? No, I'm just saying, like, the day that we become mothers or, like, mothers of teenagers or, like, business women that do, like, the girls will relate.

We're growing together. Yeah, we need to continue speaking our truth through all the stages. Des told me something crazy. And I'm sorry for bringing him up twice this episode so far. But he said something crazy to me because he told me he was like, your grays are showing. and I'm like, you don't have to tell me that, like, I know. I just, like, I don't look at them. So you don't have to point him out.

Anyway. And he was like, I can't wait for you to be, like, all gray. But he didn't mean it in, like, a romantic way. He meant it, like, stylish way. Like, he was like, it's going to look good when you're, like, all gray. And I was like, page you never. I'm really upset by that. No, like, he gets me.

Like, he knows I want to. Because I was like, I don't care. I'll fucking grow up my grays. I don't give a fuck. And he's like, I know you're going to look so good gray. Hannah, no, I'm not allowing it. Okay, well, I'm glad you. Is he the Raygun husband?

I'm glad you two have that romantic moment. Get it the fuck out of both of your heads. It's not happening. Have you, like, okay, Reba McIntyre, redhead until older. You are going to be an older lady who is a redhead. You're Lucille Ball. Like, enough. You're not going gray.

Well, now I need to because you don't want me to. You know who I saw on a plane recently who is actually fully gray and she does look good. When I was leaving Italy, a giggler came up to me and we were like chatting and she was like, don't look now, but Jane Fonda's over there. Oh, I would have puked. I literally, I don't, and I've seen multiple celebrities in airports and on planes. I don't think I whipped out my phone faster than to text my mom like, Jane Fonda's on my plane. Listen to this. we get on the plane we sit down josephine texts me guess who i'm sitting next to i go if you say jane fondda i'm

freak out she goes jane fonda josephine doesn't deserve that i'm sorry josephine doesn't deserve it she doesn't even know she doesn't even like she can no you ready for this she's 12 years old josephine texts her who did she text her like her boyfriend who's like aunt is friends with jane fonda oh i take back what i The aunt texts Jane Fonda and goes, you're sitting next to my nephew's girlfriend, Josephine. Jane Fonda turns to Josephine and goes, are you Josephine? And she goes, yes, I am. Jane Fonda is a fan of Josephine. This is huge.

Jane Fonda is a bit, which honestly, when you meet Josephine, you can't not be a fan of Josephine. She's like, I love your work. Your photos that you take a page in Venice were iconic. She was like, you're so pretty and so lovely. And then Jane Fonda watched the movie. that Josephine was playing on her TV, the whole flight home. Is Jane Fonda a giggler? No, they didn't get that far.

Wait, Jane Fonda, if you watch your documentary, like, not only she's an actor, but then she also, like, created the best, like, workout series ever, right? Yeah, she's like a big activist. She's really philanthropic. Why is philanthropic so hard to say? Is it because, like, our enemies are out to get us? Sorry, we're trying to help people. philanthropic is like one of those words that when you throw it around it's like

people respect you yeah wait but what's the difference to be philanthropic and then like philharmonic they're too close remember we had a whole bit about the philharmonic symphony we put who was like you know we should do philharmonic but change it slightly and then it's a lot of donating to charities wasn't it the story like a girl had an orgasm at the philharmonic Oh my God, yeah. What a throwback. Oh, my God. Well, philanthropy, Philharmonic, I don't know, some Latin thing in there.

One thing before we move on from my, that flight to Italy, there's something I've been doing on long flights and I'm not getting, it's changing my life and this is like some real AARP shit. Now, any flight over, really I've been doing it on every flight, but specifically ones that are like over

two and a half hours, I've been wearing compression socks. You're an athlete. Life changing. You're an Olympian. Here's the other thing I've been doing. I haven't been eating on flights anymore because my stomach gets so insanely fucked up when I get off the flight for like the next 24 hours it's like bloated. So I've been doing both of those things. And when I get off the plane, I don't feel as like swollen and just like gross.

See, I don't have the kind of self-control to be on a long flight that offers you a meal. And to look in that lady's eye and be like, no, I won't take. I know. It's really hard. I know. It's really hard. I once was having like a full stomach bug. And I was like, don't risk it being on a plane.

And I was like, I can't say no to a free meal. You want to know what I've been doing, though? I've just been going a little bit earlier and getting so full at the lounge or like in the airport. Like in Italy, like I just ate before and then I was fine. If you want a nap, it's good to eat beforehand and then pass out. Yeah. So that's really been helping me. But I'm like, oh my God, how old am I that I'm putting on compression socks?

I was like, I literally put them on and I was like, I must add these to the newsletter. You know, I thought about it. Actually, I think I bought compression socks. That's the difference between me and you. Okay, Hannah, so I need to talk about something that's genuinely, and I mean genuinely changed the quality of my life. Let me guess. Is it a new serum or like a hair mask?

Truly amazing guesses. it's actually Waymo. If I don't want to see a man, I just get into a Waymo. Night is over. I'm relaxed. Time for a PSA on Waymo. It's about time. Raise your hand if you've ever had a bad experience in a car service situation.

I could write a book. I've gotten out of them. I pull over. That's why Waymo gives us peace and calmness after a long night to take me home safely. And I don't have to check a box if I want to talk or not. It doesn't exist. We're never talking. We don't want to talk.

A life hack at the end of the night when you're exhausted, tired, and scared because it's dark out. Yeah. Is to get a Waymo to take you home safely. It is a really good life hack because it actually eliminates so many different things you worry about. So it's actually like at the top of my life hack list along with like all the things I bring to a hotel room. When you get into ride chairs, you're normally so stressed. Our biggest life hack is dealing with Waymo. over random strangers in cars.

I mean, at that point, I'd rather get my own driver's license and figure it out. And that's a scary thought. But we also love to decenter men. And Waymo kind of does it for us because we don't have a driver. So we don't even have to go into the logistics of it. When you're with a driver, there's a mental checklist. Like, are they going the right way? Are they taking me somewhere I don't want to go?

How is their energy? Are they getting road rage? In a Waymo, I can just close my eyes, take a nap. and not be bothered. And that's the best feeling because I do want to fall asleep maybe when I'm on my way to my destination. But in other ride shares, I have to stay alert. I have to make sure the windows are unlocked.

I have to be putting them down every three seconds. Like, what if I have to get out? You have to put your friend on the phone being like, do you know where I am? Yeah, I have to tell him that my location is shared with someone else, just so he knows. So if you want to be unbothered and relax and you live in a city with Waymo's, download the Waymo app and ride. And if you live in a non-Wamo city, sign up to help bring Waymo to your city

at Waymo.com slash updates. This is us being women in STEM, bringing Waymo to the women and keeping them safe. Thanks to Waymo for supporting this segment. Also, I'm in a bad move because I have the sniffles, which means like I keep sneezing, which is like the one thing that like really hurts my back. So I've been just like sneezing and cursing and laughing.

Like I'm... You are your grandpa. Yeah, I'm... Also, it sounds like going through an exorcism every time I sneeze. I'm like... Do you think... Do you have allergies? I never thought I had allergies.

Yeah. But I would love to say I have allergies. One time I told my mom I thought I had allergies and she... A hundred percent dead ass looked me in my face and goes, Desorbos don't have allergies. No, you don't. I was like, okay.

It was like the weirdest flex as if to say that like allergies are all in people's heads. It's like weak genes. Yeah. As if we are a stronger family than like another family of allergies. Wait, I'm so sorry, but my phone is blowing up and do you know who's calling me? Who? I don't know. One of the 400 medical portals that I put all my information into.

Also, I have like a Pilates class in Vancouver that I took a year ago that calls me every day. I have like a gym from Albany that I belong to in college that straight up text me all the time. Also, if you cancel a doctor's appointment, they're like, okay, and then they continue to call you every day. Yeah. But they won't answer you when you're trying to make an appointment. But then they'll bother you for the rest of your life. The medical field is crazy. The medical field is really, like, I feel for the girls, because I'm sure there's a lot of frustration happening. Let's discuss, are you going to the U.S. open tonight. I don't know. It is a lot and by a lot you have to put an outfit together. Yeah, but I'm not stressed because I ordered this navy blue skirt that I didn't think was going to

come until like a couple weeks, but it's here now. So it's like, it could just wear my new navy blue skirt. So I'm not stressed about it. Okay. But also I am still very jet lagged. Yeah. Something's going on. My body's just being really sensitive this past couple of weeks. I don't know what's going on with me. And Scorpios aren't having a great go of it astrologically. What did it say? We've just been having issues. And you want to know what? Remember when I got my astrology read and he was like, are you having the worst year of your life? And I was like, no. Well, it's in the back of my head because Scorpios are having like a really tough time. We had a tough time this summer and we're having a tough time this fall. Maybe it's just in your gut. Because like I feel like everything else is going well. Maybe.

Yeah. You did a little witchcraft and you put all your paint. on to me. I don't think I, you know, sometimes I'll see things on TikToks where it's like actual girls doing spells and I'm like, okay, you guys are crazy, but I'll stay a little too long. Like, have you ever seen a candle cord cutting? I'm like, I can go. Someone was talking about they'll put someone's name in their fridge. Nicole Kidman.

She puts their name in their fridge to like ice them out to be like, you're not part of my life anymore. That gives me like a little bit of voodoo and I believe in God. so like I can't. I'm not even like going down that route, you know? God was not happy with your angel visit. Yeah, but it's like he creates those people. So I'm like, you can't really be mad.

You gave them those powers. 100%. I do need to see a psychic, I feel like. Are you due? Yeah, I haven't seen a psychic medium in a while. Okay, I actually might have a new girl. But, um. Okay, because I feel like I haven't gotten like a year.

I have to speak about the open. Um, what? That way. I wanted to ask you that. Well, everyone's coming for influencers. Yeah, I wanted to see what your take was. Okay, my take was that it was one video. Yeah.

One video of these influencers that spoke when they're not supposed to speak. They were like singing something. And, okay, this is not like a real issue. I've watched every single match at the U.S. Open. No matches are like struggling. There's more fans than ever. Also, a guy was smoking weed during Sabalinkas match. No one's talking about that.

I saw that. No, it's like, well, that. That's crazy. So I think they're making it worse than it is. I do think if people want to know, like, with tennis, you're not supposed to talk during the point. You clap after the point, and then you're supposed to be pretty quiet during the point. But I do think the influencer story is very clickbait, but it's, like, gone crazy. Like, everyone's talking about it.

And I'm telling you, if it's a thing, it would be happening every match. This was one match in particular. But I also do have a soft spot for, like, new female fans that I don't want to. want to be afraid to go to tennis. Whenever there's new fans in anything, it takes a second to like understand it. Yeah. But I feel like the smoking weed thing was fucking crazy.

I feel like that's so disrespectful. As someone who thinks that weed should be legal because I think it's, I think alcohol is way worse. I think there are certain, you wouldn't light up a cigarette in the middle of of Ashe Stadium. This isn't the 80s on an airplane. Why would you ever light up a? a join at the you i think that's so gross also you guys know me and my mom we hate cigarettes we'll

be walking on the street if someone's smoking a cigarette my mom will go it's it's really it really is kind of crazy how like back they are it makes me so upset i do every influence are posting smoking cigarettes why are you doing it like what's the reason why because you want a young person that is influenced by you to be influenced to kill themselves i feel like instagram is a almost leaning a little bit more like tumbler days. Okay. And I think there's a certain age group that's like, but it's kind of like it's very early 90s.

It's like it's just in our hand. This really makes me upset. No, I know. No, I know. No, the other day I saw a 13 year old girl like on TV in full makeup and I got really upset by it. I was really upset. I want to know your thoughts.

Okay, Des and I went to a like cabaret burlesque. show. Were you out on Saturday night? I went out. Because I looked at your location. I go, this is not where her apartment is. Where is she? I went out. I was wearing like a like crazy top and caprice. You know it's crazy? We went from not having each other's locations a couple months ago to now straight up stalking. I landed. Guys, I landed in America. Like my phone gets Wi-Fi. My first Texas, Hannah, welcome back. No, okay. I swear to God, I actually wasn't stalking you. I went to text to you, which is like every 10 minutes and it said queen so i was like hello welcome back i was in italy i'm literally

walking into walking into guchi my brother calls me i go do you have a god damn tracker on me i was texting you on the plane and i was like you're right above dublin right now and he goes wow you're in ireland i'm like so we go this burlesque show first of all how did you think how was that your idea for a date like who came up with the idea that it'd be i wanted to go to this restaurant And then the restaurant was like at this restaurant there's a burlesque show and I'm like we can't eat or not go to the burlesque show. And then I was like, I don't want to do anything on Saturday night but I'll watch other people do shit on a Saturday night. So and he was like down. I think because the comedy world he actually would do a lot of festivals.

So he became friends with like the circus people kind of. They're like the people that do like Cirque de Soleil and like they do all this crazy shit. So he, I don't know. He's like knows whatever. I don't know about that. He knows flexible. Remember when, isn't it crazy to think of, like,

insults from, like, back in the day? Like, an insult used to be go join, like, the carnival. Like, oh, she joined, like, the circus. So the circus is actually, like, really hot people that are really good at dancing and they're super flexible. They can put, like, fire down their throat. But also, like, I can imagine they're all just, like, having crazy sex.

You're not that flexible and not having threesome. Like. That's, like, me getting mad. when hot people aren't in relationships, if you're that flexible and you're not... You have to be polyamorous. My head I'd have three boyfriends. It's like you have to do more for the people. Yeah, like you can't just leave it to one guy.

Share your talents. Also, why do they always talk about how the girls have to be flexible? Why can't the guys be flexible? Yeah. I do guess. I'm sure they are, yeah. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like half the places I go. We've built Giggly Squad into a full,

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I become a sleazy man when I'm there because like the sex phone player comes up I'm like take off your shirt why is this guy's shirt on I didn't pay to watch a guy with fucking zipped up to the neck take your fucking shirt out does this like calm down and I'm like no does it's like it's not a strip club it's a classy burlesque but eventually he took his shirt off and I look at does it like thank you and then the girls you can't help like they're all wearing like

thongs and they're dancing and they're late they're all over the place yeah the only thing i kept thinking about was like how do they shave so well yeah not one hair out of place my thing is are they taping or doing some type of like stickiness of to for the thong to keep their vagina in because like okay if you're wearing a thong and you're moving all crazy at some point the thong is going to move a little and you're just labia out. So they must, they have to tape it down or something. And they're changing outfits. Like, it's crazy. And they're so physically fit. Like, they're just pure athletes. These girls are amazing. Also, the singer. I was just going to say, are they singing? So there's one girl who sings, and she, like, hosts the show. She's doing crowdwork. She's unbelievable. And this is

coming from someone who's been to the VMAs. I've been to American Music Awards. She sang live. better than half the people on those shows. There's so many fucking talented people on this planet who aren't famous, which is crazy because everyone's famous. What was the demographic in the crowd? Like, who were he sitting with? It was just like couples. It was very date night, but like some older men and younger women,

me and des, you know? But, okay, this is the only drama. Do you think anyone thinks you're a sugar baby? Yes, or like second wife energy. Oh, second wife energy. Oh, okay. If he was uglier, I think, people would think like sugar baby yeah but instead it's giving like he's trying a new

flavor yeah um okay so this guy sits next to us and i i try not to be judgy especially of men i give men so much grace he sits down the waitress goes how are we feeling and he goes hungry and thirsty okay immediately i'm like i hate this man and then she goes what would you like to eat sir and he goes well the lady would like i feel like he was trying to be funny but that was crazy He's like ordering for her. The lady would like this. I'm like, I just don't like this man. Then when she turns around, he pulls out a vape.

Oh, I thought you're going to say he's going to slap her ass. I was like, it's a salt. Pulls out of vape. It was like one of these also like bad flavors, like strawberry melon. Yeah, that you're like this. This could like start a car. Like we're all glowing in the dark after this. This is fully Chernobyl.

Yeah. He fucking hits it, turns in our direction, and blows it. at us. Next, you know, I'm inhaling. It tastes so, I taste it in my mouth. I'm like, so, so then I pull a mom and I go, and Des is like, do not. I'm like, I would never say that, but this is crazy. And he's like, this is illegal. Like, it's crazy. He does it again. That's crazy. Crazy. So then mid show, then I start to get worried that Des might like say something because like I don't want Des to have to like scare him or something. Yeah. So then the guy apparently turned to Des and said, I'm sorry, like, apologize for it. But, like, it's wild in these streets.

How old is this guy? 57. Hannah, if someone didn't know your age and they just listened to this episode of the podcast, and all they heard was that, like, your back is out, your chiropractor, you couldn't figure out the portal because technology. You're totally against smoking, especially in public places. How dare they? And I don't understand how very. work and you went to a burlesque show because that used to be your only form of entertainment 40 years ago we're only in our 30 we don't even have kids no i'm so much younger than i am in my heart yeah and i had a drink we oh this was i have a drink i turned to des i go do you know what alcohol tastes like rubbing alcohol he goes alcohol it tastes like alcohol yeah i'm like it tastes like a fucking

like a laundry detergent that I'm about to use to like clean someone's floor. No, it's not good. It's really not good. Alcohol's bad. You know what I tried? Where was I that I was like, maybe I have a taste for this now? And I was like, you guys are psychotic. Was it?

Whiskey? Whiskey. Whiskey sour? No, it was just like, it was just like a glass with ice and brown. Oh, scotch. Or whiskey. And I just like took a sip. And the guys are, they're lying.

This is how I know men lie. I'm like, there's just no fucking way. You sit here and you sip this all night. And you're like, this is a good drink. Well, that's my question about cigars. You're not even inhaling. How do you love it so much? It gives you a head high.

It gives you like a buzz. Well, you've never smoked a cigarette, so you wouldn't know that. And I didn't even mean to sound like an eighth grade bully. I didn't. That's not how I meant it. Maybe try Ceres. Okay. No, but I'm saying like the first time you smoke a cigarette and you feel the buzz of what it is,

you're like, oh, that's why people smoke cigarettes. Like, I think maybe the first time I ever tried a cigarette, I was like 18. I was like in college and I was like, I don't get it. I would have been so mad at you if I was there. I was like, I don't get it. Like this is like stupid. Whatever. I would have like page contact you for a second.

Then if I'm, then I think I was like in my 20s out at a club. I was drunk. I smoked a cigarette. I got a head high and I was like. oh, this is why people do it because it makes you feel like a little woozy for a minute and then you like go back to... So that's what like a cigar does.

It gives you like a little head high. Well, because they just want a cigar lounge where they all can sit together and like suck on these very phallic shaped. Like why are they so big? Like they're like, what if we made a cigarette but it was bigger and fatter? And you could just like suck on it all day

But I make it dark Joe's gonna kill you Joe is gonna literally kill it Every time I record the bond Joe goes what did you guys talk about And I go I don't know I literally blacked out I'm gonna remember today

Honey Honey And then like The way they judge each other's cigars So like how expensive is your scar Yeah Oh also one more US open thing Carlos Alcarez

Who I just have to say Looks great with his hair long his hair pushback it looks so good because he had like kind of a razor cut for a while he grew it out while he was injured he's come back and Nike's doing this like basketball type of campaign with all their clothes so he wears this jersey and the whole first round his nipples out like he hits a winner and his nipple like you know when you go to sleep with a tank top and you wake up with a tit out that that was how he played the entire map yeah and the girls in the gaze we were like shout out carlos like yeah

sash through this match you look gorgeous and it was like a slow-mo forehand then just like his nipple perfectly popping out imagine if he had it pierced you know sexy but like also these guys like take their shirt off every like three games like it's not that crazy but then the second round he had an undershirt on do you think people like said something I think maybe he got self-conscious I think he got self-conscious or maybe Nike was like hey your nipples getting more attention than the fit I don't know what happened but they asked them in an interoperable. and he kind of was like oh so nike's anti-nip-nip-law injury but it was fun for for a game for a minute for a minute um but now he's covering his nipples but the girls are going off with fashion at the open have you

seen any like the actual players like taylor townsen naomi osaka i saw naomi osaka she had like tom brown put something together i think la roach is styling her so they have these like runway walks on i like that. Yeah, it's, it's kind. That's fun. Yeah, it's really fun. Especially because I feel like the U.S. Open is always around Fashion Week and it's in New York City. I'm surprised the U.S. Open isn't in like Florida. You know? It's historically, it was in Queens on grass courts. So I think it just evolved from there. But yeah, there's a trillion tennis courts in Florida. Right. I feel like it just like gives tennis to me, I think, Florida. I don't know why. Golf and tennis, I think Florida.

If you go tonight, you could say that to someone. I'm not going to say that. Hey, why don't we do this in Florida? Why don't we just pack this shit up, move to Florida? Well, they would have more room, I would assume. More people would be able to get tickets. I think half the reason people were so mad at influencers this year is at like the second matches because they were going so late you could see a lot of the boxes were done they were

empty which brands have the boxes which bring in the influencers so I think like a lot of fans feel like they get priced out each year yeah and then there's empty seats and I think that annoys them not to defend all women but like get met at the brand right also a lot of these corporate boxes they send an email out to the company like hey who wants to go the US open right no one wants to go And then they have these empty boxes. Right. Which is, that's the brands problem. But the brands are paying tons of money for these boxes.

So the U.S. Open is going to take it. Yeah, it's not always the women's fault. Not always. Not always. Not all women. No, truly not all women. You love when the umpire tells everyone to shut up. Oh, because I respect power.

Mm-hmm. You know, and so when I see a woman have power, I go, go off, girl. So I like when the umpire is a woman and she says, And when she says, shh, I'm like, She goes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Sir in the corner, I'm going to have to have you stop.

Thank you. Did you see the guy umpire that kept saying deuce really weird? So then the crowd would say it back to him really weird. Not to defend a man, but like he just has a really low baritone voice and they were making fun of his voice and it made me feel bad because he talks like this. But that's like so New York, I feel like. I know. Also, like, let New York, New York.

Like, it's chaos. New York can't be managed. No, they can't. Also, don't give us honey deuses up the asshole and expect us to be quiet the whole time. These people are, there's a keg of honey deuce. And then it's like, why is everyone not silent? It's like, going to frat party and be like, it's a library now. Wait, did you see all the stuff about the college, like, run club?

Oh, everyone's mad. All the millennials are mad. The millennials are. mehed. And I hate to say this after saying I don't condone drinking or smoking, but part of college is blacking out. Drinking and finding your way home. Like that is your first lesson of life. Being in a foreign land with just 20 year olds running everywhere, you're puking. You don't even know your name. I don't think you realize what college is for until you get out in the real world and it sucks. Yeah. It's basically like life gives you these four years to like

fuck around and like understand that you're about to be an adult soon and shit's going to get really hard because then when you get out you're like what the hell is this well because when you're in college it's not a problem it's cute right when you do that shit during college you're just like growing and learning about yourself when you do it when you're 32 people start having meetings interventions as much fun as college was I don't think either of us would ever choose to go back to that age. No. It's quite draining.

It was really scary. I was so scary. But like I feel like I look better now too. Oh yeah. No, so scary. Because yeah, it's so scary. Also, I've aged myself to the point that someone messaged me like a dating question and I like couldn't help them. Because I was like aged out.

Like what? Someone was like, hey, I'm on this dating app and I saw my coworker and I swiped on him and he hasn't responded so I deleted the app and like I don't know what to do and I'm like I'm be so real with y'all I haven't swiped in 10 years at this point so I don't know how the app works anymore but normally like he wouldn't know you swipes unless he swiped on you but like I didn't want to get into it and be like tell me the updated algorithm of how like this app works oh like she was asking like did he see it she yeah but also like I just couldn't help her because I don't know how the apps work work anymore because i know how it worked in like 2018 right that was my shit yeah no i don't know how that i don't

know how any of the apps work either but also trying to think what i would do if i saw a co-worker would i swipe on them or not i feel like i wouldn't it depends as he your office crush yeah this is the move i remember if i saw anyone i knew on the app i would swipe right to be like ha ha like you know you're like oh i know that that guy wait why is this like I feel like this was just on Love Island and they were like yelling at one of the girls for like swiping. And she was like, I just like saw him. I wasn't trying to like talk to him. Oh, I love that.

But to your point, which it was she was like a ha ha, like I see. Yeah, like when I was roommates with Dave and Corey, when I'd see one of their friends on the app, you'd swipe so you could message them on it and be like, ha ha, you're stupid. Ha ha, ha, I bet no girls want you. What the fuck you're doing here? You lonely asshole. Have you watched anything? Okay. There's stuff coming up and something I did watch.

It's called Welcome to the Family on Hulu. That if I didn't drug myself yesterday, I would have finished. It is incredible. It's about this husband who gets murdered and they realize that this woman's family might be behind this murder. It's basically like, be careful who you marry into. which reminds me of my joke, which it's like, they say you marry the man,

you marry the man, you marry the man's family, and I say, now if you time it, right? He says his family's dead. Just his parents, his whole family. He has siblings.

But this is one of those things where like the parents hated her husband. Yeah. And they were like going to do anything they could to get him out of her life. And there's also the brother

that's involved. and you hear phone calls of the brother and the mom talking about how much they hate that guy. It's basically like we love a close family as Italians. And it's like, I know so many families like this. And everyone talks about like gossiping within your family's fun. But to actually be like, let's put a hit on. Let's kill that other family.

It's insane. You know what's crazy is like how do you find that many people that have the same mental illnesses? you. You mean like nosiness? No like how does how is how is the whole family that crazy? Yeah. They're like John just came up with the best idea you're going to want to hear it and then they hear it and they're like that's the best idea. Let's murk this whole family. Well the thing with families is they do enable each other and a lot of the times they have the same genetic issues and I find with some of these crazy families there's always one black sheep and they do they have one guy who was like fuck this family one of the brothers that's like like. He moved, like, across the country and doesn't talk to them. And he's going to ask questions. And he's like, well, they're fucking crazy, but I didn't think they were capable of this.

Right. So, very interesting. Also, Nathan Fielder has a documentary coming out with Elizabeth Holmes, who's the one person that I'm actually really good at doing an impression of. That actually is really good. I'm so excited. I thought that show with Amanda Seifred was so good. I thought the documentary about her was so good. I can't wait to watch this.

And this is right before she goes to jail or right when she gets out of jail. Right before she goes to jail. And he's trying to like. Is she still in? I'm not sure, but he's trying to understand her. Like, is she crazy? Is she evil? Is she both?

And she's looking at him and she's like, I'm just trying to do the best I can. Yeah. He says something like, are you being real right now? And she's like, I'm always being real. I'm always being real. I'm always being real. Very eerie. Very eerie.

Also, Nathan Fielder, doing documentaries, sign me the fuck up. That sounds very interesting. Yeah. Last on my list, this has been out for a while, but the gig was recommended it to me. It's called Some Kind of Heaven. And it's basically like college for retired people, which is something I love. Like imagine once you retire, you go to one of these communities and it's literally like

partying and like fun clubs and like pools and sex. and like it's basically college but you're done with life and but you're like 75 yeah but then it talks about like the underbelly of it and how like people are mean and catty and like the drama of this like retired club i wonder if they're like doing drugs for sure for sure yeah there's definitely people abusing drugs and like getting fucked up everyone's addicted to painkillers that is so great this is a documentary or like a documentary about like what's actually going on at one of these retirement places that goes a little too crazy. I mean, SDDs are thriving.

That's crazy. Okay, I want to watch that kind of. How many episodes? I'm not sure. I have to look into it. Also, I have to apologize to the community. We were talking about like how we used to have so many hot guys as millennials. And someone was like, you guys missed like the hottest guys.

Who? Paul Walker. Okay, but he wasn't in a TV show. show. Josh Hartnett. He wasn't in a TV show. Valid. And Freddie Prince Jr.

Again, not in a TV show. Okay. Of course, we had those men, and I would say that they were movie stars. I'm talking CW. 8 p.m. Thursday night. I want to see Chad Michael Murray. I want whoever played fucking Nathan. I was so into Chad Michael Murray.

I want, like, the guy who played Jess in Gilmore Girls. He's like really famous now. See, that's the thing about me. Milo, whatever. I love a blonde. And that's my toxic trait. Yeah, you're sick. I don't think people know that.

When Chad Michael, Michael Murray came out, I was like, I'm, that's, everything makes sense. Everything makes sense. Yeah, that's how Stephanie was. She, like, loved him. When he was in Freaky Friday, I loved him in Freaky Friday. See, I thought Misscast. I watched Freaky Friday and I go, a missed cast.

I didn't find him that. He was Paul and dumb. men blonde i loved it he was just like hey these men also had no lines they had no lines in all these movies they were just like what's you know except in gilmore girls um the one blonde boyfriend that she had not dean not jess what was the other guys was every guy named dean who was dean or ethan was like the name of every single boyfriend oh my god wait the 2000s this is actually like i can't i feel like i should go to the hospital that i don't know this i could book an appointment for you if you want Logan oh my god Logan Hunsberger that he was my favorite boyfriend I always wanted her to end up with him

but because like he was a bad boy and he like had a lot of money and so he would like take her to cool places and I loved him and he was blonde it's like the Aden versus Big debate yeah like you loved big yeah but this is my thing I didn't like that Aden was like an artist he like did furniture I was like I don't I didn't mind that I didn't like that Aiden was like so dramatic and like emotional. Yeah, he was always like, shut up. And your country house fucking sucks.

Like, why would I want to be in a country house when big could put me in a goddamn limo up to a penthouse? Like, shut up. He was whiny. But really my favorite character of all time in Sex and the City is the girl that big married and cheated on Natasha. She's the sheikest. She was the prettiest.

I loved her the most. I loved her the most. She's Tom Brady's ex-wife in real life. You know that. Speaking of Tom Brady. I watched The Earl show, the whole plane ride home from my flight. This episode is definitely themed because I felt very old. Like, even though I, there were certain things, like, I could relate to being on reality TV,

and there were, like, certain things that I could, like, pick up on, there was, like, a moment where, like, the one sister, Ashton says, like I'm 23 and I was like oh no this is a small little girl like and people are being mean to her like I it made me it made me upset that things that they're feeling about being in the public eye I didn't feel until I was like 28 29 and I'm and I was just like I feel bad that they they're feeling it right now and there's people that are so jealous and mean to them also they're at the point where like that first heartbreak i heard she talks about brachston like yeah when you're in your early 20s and you have that first heartbreak it feels like the end of the world right like i wanted to hold her and be like babe yeah yeah i'm not gonna remember him i also give

the girls the two older like Alex and ashton i give them a lot a lot of credit for how mature they are in terms of having a stepmom and like a whole their dad having like a whole second family they're so respectful to their stepmom and like mature in like their situation. I just thought it was so commendable. Like I would, I could never. At 33, I could never. Like certain things the stepmom said to Alex, if I had a stepmom and she ever said that to me, I, no.

No. Like there were certain conversations and I was like, what did you just say to her? And I will never call you mom. I was like, I would never be this nice to someone who did something so crazy to my mom. So I, like, commended them for that. There's a lot of people online who love to hate influencers. I've seen things just, like, making fun of whatever, like a blonde influencer. Yeah.

Alex is smarter than an influencer. Than the majority of people. Like, she's fucking smart. Like, say what you want about her, but don't say she's this dumb, annoying influencer. She's a marketing. genius like yeah we're just doing the Kardashians all over again it's like with the have real talent uh okay they do my family my sweet sweet girls there's they're smart they're strategic and very smart like this isn't an accident that

she's been able to grow her career you know no yeah a hundred percent but it was like a good it was a cute reality show i think so only like eight episodes i watched i think i finished it on the plane but it was good yeah that's awesome i have to dig in even though i have trouble with reality sometimes yeah it's actually it's not for you oh because it's not as it's not as explosive as like a bravo show like there's really not that much drama i also have a feminist moment i was just thinking about husbands and wives you know how in the past like husbands would be like my wife is nagging me my naggy wife my wife's nagging me we have to take that word back and say it about husbands like when your husband or your boyfriend knows you'd be like can you stop nagging me yeah okay

let's just try it out for a bit like really nagging like uh it's not it's not I don't think anyone's ever said that to me they've said much much much worse I feel like a nagging would be like subdued for what I typically get. Naging sounds peaceful it sounds dare I say motivational. Do you say supportive? That I care. I get more along the lines of evil, Satan,

witchy. You know, I get things that are quite more diabolical. Oh, God. Anyway, I'm making everyone a better person around me. Mental health moment of the week, I was like scrolling on TikTok and occasionally something about me will come up.

Oh. But occasionally, it's something like nice. Like some, there's been funny stuff about my mouth. going around. Every once in a while you're like, that made me chuckle. And I looked and I saw that you had reposted it. What was it? I don't know, but it was just a nice TikTok about me and I was like, that's my fucking best friend. Like it made me so happy. Oh, I think it might have been something about your Lulu Lemon. Or something about my mouth. I know. It was something that it was like really cute and then it just had like pages sober reposted. I was like, that's my fucking, that's my

girl right there. I think I know it was. I think a girl said, Hannah still can't move her mouth, so we have six more weeks of summer. That was so funny. I said more people need to see this because this is hilarious. I love what I didn't fully remember. I was like, it was something complimented my fashion or something. I forget and you were like, no, she was making fun of your smile and it was so good. But just spreading awareness for funny women.

I appreciate it. Now I literally forgot about my smile because my whole fucking back is out. Honestly, I'm so over. I don't even think about it anymore. I know. And like it's, no, I'm like, this is Hannah. It's bad, but it's almost, it's, it's getting better. It's getting better, but now I'm like past the point it's like not that funny anymore. It's just like slightly off.

We're getting to the point where people are like, okay, is it going to wear off? I was going to point of proof like, we get it. You can't smile. Get a new fucking bit. No, we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. Wait, I have one question before we go. Yeah.

For the fall, are you going to do some type of. red a different like what are we doing with your hair for the fall i'm gonna send inspopex you think i should go a different red no i just think we need to amp it up and get and do like a a fall yeah i think i want a deeper red you guys see like i'm getting off the call and she's like and real quick we're gonna we're gonna change your brand uh can i see your roots for a quick so real quick we're gonna have to change everything but i i want i think for the fall i just want you a little more fire enginey red oh Like the summer, I think you give more of like a strawberry red and I think this fall I want something a little deeper.

Okay, we'll talk. We'll offline. You're my, you're literally my creative director. You're like, it's not working, but we'll fix it. Don't worry. Have a good day. Bye. Okay.

Love you guys. Talk to you later.