Giggly Squad - Giggling about croissant cookies, community, and curling irons

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Curling irons are female weapons and Iliza Shlesinger became a victim of Hannah's sweat. get tickets to our live shows herepre-order our book hereget merch heresign up for our newsletter here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my great US Open gigglers? I don't know, that was random. We're about to be US Open gigglers.

We're going to the US Open tomorrow, we're so excited. Paige, is there anything you think the gigglers should know about the US Open? Like, what questions do you think the gigglers would have? I feel like everyone wants to be obsessed with tennis, but they watch Challengers, so they're like thrown. Like they don't know what's going on. Well I keep seeing on TikTok that like one girl went to something that was like pre the week before the US Open and she was like really disappointed that no one was as dressed up as she thought they would be.

And then all of these girls were doing TikToks of like what to wear to the US Open because it's like so much more casual. Well, the night matches are more like... Like I feel like they're a little bit dressier. And if you're on Arthur Ashe, there's two big stadiums, Arthur Ashe and Louis Armstrong. But the secret is you go the week before during qualifying if you wanna see like the top people warm up all those matches

Look, i'm feeling very territorial I I know it's okay the way you feel about tennis The way you feel about tennis is the way I feel about love island. I thought you were gonna say fashion Love island oh because you like liked it before Because I feel like I was watching Love Island way before even like Americans were watching UK. So I was way before Americans watching USA. Look, we have taste. We have very good taste.

Yeah, like I was just like, I've been watching this show before COVID. DM me if you have any questions about tennis, but I actually, did did you see I finally watched Challengers? I did see your very extensive review. I go through, okay here's the thing, when I watch your Instagram stories, I am just so happy that you're my friend and that you get to like read my thoughts about your Instagram

stories because I truly do go through such a journey. and that you get to read my thoughts about your Instagram stories. Because I truly do go through such a journey. It's such a mini movie, your Instagram stories, because sometimes I'm like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you, and then I'm like, I'm so grossed out by you, and then I'm like. My other DMs are the gigglers guessing how you feel about my Instagram stories.

They're like, Paige is upset. Paige is gonna be upset, when she sees, check on Paige. Something really upset me this weekend that you had posted. Well I posted that in my, no you laughed because I posted that I found my Invisalign in my Miu Miu. And you thought that was funny. But then I took it one step too far

and I posted a photo of my toenail that the pedicure had grown out. Like it looked like I had a French manicure because the pedicure had grown out like it looked like I had a French manicure cuz the pedicure grew out so much and That was that was violence that I chose that day to post know that was violence and also because I feel like You're so hard on your feet That was the meanest thing you've ever said to me. What the fuck does that even mean?

No, I feel like you're always running, working out, you're in sneakers, you're sweating. Running from the patriarchy. You're falling, I feel like you do fast walking sometimes. I don't know. So I always feel like your feet must hurt more than the average person, that you would need a pedicure more, to just like.

No, I've lost many a toenail. Yeah, I feel like your toes have had trauma. Well you know what, I don't love myself enough to give myself a pedicure. It's funny, some girls were like, first of all we believe you this is on brand, we're fine with this, and then some people were like, first of all, we believe you this is on brand, we're fine with this. And then some people were like,

it's one hour of your fucking day, bitch. Take care of your nails. No, it's just like, I can't go, I get pedicures all winter long too. Like I've also never, never identified with the girls that are like, oh, it's winter. So like not getting a pedicure. Yes, I go longer than I do in the summer,

but I'm still getting pedicures in the winter. Because you think you're better than me. I mean, no, I don't think I'm better than you. I'm not even comparing myself, Chiyo. I'm just saying I'm different. You said I had big, heavy feet. Wait, you know what I realized is the meanest thing someone said to me, and it wasn't recent,

it was like in general over the last couple years. Yeah. Has someone ever, someone called me photogenic. Yeah. And I feel like that's the meanest thing you could say to someone. No, I think that's like one of the nicest compliments. No, when people see me in person and and they go, you're photogenic.

Or like we take a photo and they're like, oh my god, you're so photogenic. I'm like, so you're saying that you're surprised that my ugly ass looks decent in a photo. No, I think you're reading too much into it. You're being a little too sensitive in this situation. I feel like today I'm in a sensitive place. I think I'm PMSing.

Wait, did I tell you that I grabbed a curling iron? Your enemies are out to get you. Someone is preying on your downfall. Wait, that's my biggest fear. I was actually more mad at myself. I was like, there's no way I just did that. Like that is not a thing that I do. I don't consider myself like a clumsy person

or like off brand. Yeah, it was really off brand for me. Like, so that's why I was so mad about it. Your head was in the clouds. Also it's 2024, what like hair tools don't go off automatically after a certain amount of time? Like, are we kidding? What year is that?

That's what I was most mad about. And another thing I'll bring up to the mayor. That's a ridiculous hazard. That needs to be changed. The president needs to talk to someone about that. No, the laws should definitely be changed in that. I mean, simple house fires. Yeah, because you know how many girls their day's ruined

because they know that they left their flat iron on or whatever? Yeah, and it ruins your countertop. I feel like I've ruined a lot of things with my irons getting too hot, whatever. So I went to grab it on the correct end, and when I touched it, it was so hot that I was like, oh my God, that was the wrong end.

So then I grabbed the other end, but that was the wrong end. Why was the right end hot? Because it was on for so long. It was on for hours. I mean, I touched something that was legitimately 500 degrees. I got a second degree burn on my middle finger. Wait, and your finger's already so tiny to begin with. Is it okay?

Did it shrivel up? Okay, so all that night I couldn't sleep because my hand was throbbing and ice actually made it way worse, which I didn't know was a fucking thing. You have to put it in milk. I'm just kidding, I just made that up. No, because everything I was Googling

was like put butter on it. I was like I'm not fucking putting butter on like open wounds, like this is insane. You just, it needs to blister, I guess. It blistered, and then the blisters popped on their own, and I just kept it wrapped with a band-aid. And you loved that the blisters popped. My skin absorbed.

I fucking loved it. You thought that was fun. I loved squeezing it out a little bit. So sometimes when I'm on the road with Dez, we're getting ready together, and obviously I have my routine, which is me putting everything all over the place. Now as someone with ADHD, I burn myself every single day

so suck it up. But Dez accidentally touched it because he was moving it and he didn't know. And he didn't deserve that. And then I realized how women, we have so many like weapons around us and like well what made me mad was I'm usually the person being like watch the straightener it's on like don't step here like they're curling

irons on like I'm very aware of the hot tools he's like why would you put it there and I'm like where am I supposed to put it yeah it's on the counter yeah it's on the counter um so anyway guys, keep an eye out. No, it's dangerous out there, in your own home. Also, I was at a Labor Day weekend party and I was like feeling myself, but I put on these like nipple pads things. What are those nipple covers

that I highly recommend everyone gets? Yep. So they just cover your nipples, but then I just felt like my boobs were just not hitting the way I wanted them to. So I went to my mom's house, because I was in Shelter Island, and switched to her bra and just put my nipple things in my mumio. In the middle of the party,

I see my nipple pads on the ground. Like these, it's on grass. And it's these big tan nipple covers. And I'm like, nobody pointed this out, how do I pick this up? And then my fucking friend is like, whose nipples are those? And then it was like a family party and I had to lean in.

And I was like, my nipples, sorry guys, ha ha. And then all the older guys were like, how's that even work? And I'm like, okay nipple is, sorry guys, ha ha. And then all the older guys were like, how's that even work? And I'm like, okay, you don't have to get into it. It must have been stuck to your phone and you pulled your phone out of your bag or something. 100%. Also, last week I left my passport on the plane,

which is like, that is diabolical. That is the worst thing you could possibly do. That's literally. I think I was holding my passport, I put it down, I sat on it. I was one of those people in the bathroom where they're like, Hannah Berner, please come to gate 47 and I was like, maybe a giggler is working at the gate

and wants to say hi. I've never been called, two things in my life that I'm like, hmm, interesting. I've never been on a Jumbotron for anything. I've never been on a Jumbotron at any single game, whether it's professional or not. And I just find that- I think it's cause you don't go to any games.

I mean, I feel like I've been at- Like a couple. Enough to like at some point be on a Jumbotron. Okay. Okay, so I've never been on a Jumbotron and I've never had my name on a loudspeaker, like anywhere. Even school?

No. You're never in trouble. I was never like called. You were never that level of in trouble. See, I feel like I'm all, my name's always being called, but like in bad ways and I'm like, mother, f**ker. So I walk all the way back to the gate and I'm like, I didn't forget anything.

So I'm like, well, these people want. And it's this adorable gay guy and he's like, you left your passport, honey. And I was like, I am so embarrassed right now. Let's pretend this never happened. You don't know me, I don't know you. And I turned around and he was dying laughing, but I'm such a fucking idiot.

But anyways, that flight that I watched, Challengers, and I guess some people had thought I've watched it before, I haven't. And I want the last four hours of my fucking life back. I didn't finish it, because the flight wasn't long enough. It's like Lord of the fucking Rings. Yeah, it's long. It's bad.

Well, it's hard not being on your phone during it. Like I was on my phone for the whole time. But like the writing is bad. And I know some, no I don't care if people liked it. I have to stick to my guns. Yeah. You don't care about her. She, you could have cared so much about this girl

who works so hard. Instead she's just like helping men's dreams come true. One of them was kind of cute, but like, no, not enough. No, it very much, there's something about like artsy movies recently, where I'm feeling like they're making the main guys, like the lead guys, very- Rat-like. But dare I say like pubescent?

Yeah, or are we just getting old? No, I don't know. I don't know. No, well the guy was talking about retiring and I was like he doesn't, he can't even grow chin hair and this guy's about to retire. I felt like there was no character development in that show. No character development.

Yeah, so when she's like picking between the guys, you're like I don't give a fuck. I don't, because I don't know between the guys, you're like, I don't give a fuck. Because I don't know them. I don't know them, and I don't know you, so I don't even know if I'm rooting for your happiness or your downfall. So it was just super bad, and because my thing is I'm fine with the tennis being shitty

as long as the plot and the characters are really good, but it was bad. I love Zendaya so much that I'll watch anything she's in because I just like her being on my screen. There's just something about, there's a few actresses like that where I'm just like, I don't even care if it's bad, I'm gonna watch it.

And I think that's why the movie was made because they were like, Zendaya's in it. And my final thought, because people were like, oh good, I'm not gonna watch it, is I think because Zendaya's in it, watch it, but just know it's terrible. So I'm not saying don't watch it. Like day isn't it watch it, but just know it's terrible Yeah, so I'm not saying don't like I couldn't tell you what it's about Yeah, no

No, it's it's really oh, I pissed me the fuck off. Yeah. Oh god. Um, I could see that Hey, you know, I also Have been seeing these trends on TikTok. Have you seen the girls being like, me leaving the house knowing men will hate my outfit? Have you seen those? Do you know how they make me feel? These girls look fucking adorable.

I'm like, you guys have no idea what it's like to wear an outfit that a man actually hates. Like they're wearing something that's like slightly baggy in the shirt. I'm like, I wore jorts. I'm not here wearing jorts. that a man actually hates. Like they're wearing something that's like slightly baggy in the shirt. I'm like, I wore jorts. I'm out here wearing jorts. That's what a man will hate.

Like I'm wearing my dad's t-shirt and jorts. No, it's the same idea of like those TikToks that are like what girls find like attractive or pretty is like very opposite from what guys find attractive or pretty Yeah, but the girls are putting on outfits that I know that guys are like she looks cute They're like guys are gonna hate this set and I'm like if you're wearing a set a guy I like it Yeah, I don't think guys like would hate a baggy pant either. No, no It's a cute trend.

You don't know what it's like to wear an outfit that a guy will actually hate. Like, I'll show you a fucking outfit. Like, wear a fucking croc. Wear a croc and then talk to me. See, you do it in a different way than I do it. Like, sometimes, like, I know a guy will hate my outfit if it's like so girly.

But he'll still be attracted to you. If it's like there's just like a massive bow like across my chest or something. He'll still be attracted to you. He'll still be like that's cute. Like yeah, it's not like you're dressing like, you know, Megan Fox with like a wet t-shirt contest, but like just cause you're wearing something

that isn't like that doesn't mean a man's gonna hate it. Like I'll wear some outfits where it does this like, you have to change like it's gonna be a problem. He's like, you gotta try a little bit. This is a nice dinner. Yeah. No, I hate being in those situations. There's nothing worse than having to get ready

when you don't wanna go. Like that's like a modern form of torture. When you don't know what you're gonna wear? When you just don't wanna go to where you have to get ready for. Yeah, yeah. And when you don't know what you're gonna wear, and you're like, I don't even wanna be doing this

in the first place. When you don't know what to wear, but you wanna go to the function, very different. That's a high, that is a pressure high that I live for. I'm like, who's she gonna be tonight Yeah, where it's like, what do I want to dress in while I'm miserable tonight? I actually was talking to my therapist. Oh I forgot you're back in therapy. I'm since the special I was back Which thank God it all worked out but yeah, we were talking about, I was like,

I wish I wanted to be more social. And I was like, me and my best friend Paige, we joke about it, but I wish I enjoyed things that other people enjoyed, like simple stuff. And she was like, well, community is a big part of happiness, and I was like, send me an article on that. That sounds important, I'm not gonna read. And she's like, I'm gonna send you the article.

And I was like, yes. And then I was like, I do have a pretty big community. It's called a G gonna read. And she's like, I'm gonna send you the article. And I was like, yes. And then I was like, I do have a pretty big community, it's called Giggly Squad, and she's like, that's not the same. And I was like, they're all my best friends. And she was like, no. Human to human interaction. I did say I had a community of fantasy football.

And she paused. But that's not in person. She goes, she was like, I don't know what that is. And I was like, I also did, we'd go to the bar and watch the games but I've I have multiple times left because I was upset like I didn't let people know I was upset but like my team's fucking losing so I'd leave I'd leave to do laundry I'd say I have laundry I'm not sitting there like watching my team be decimated. When was this? When was this? When was this?

I mean recently, like in the past year. In my early 20s, but there's definitely been days last year that my day was low key ruined because of fantasy football. Wow, I didn't know you were that into it. I can get into anything. So anyway, I told her that and she straight up. Oh, that's comforting. She straight up was like, you're an interesting person.

She said that to me. So I think I won. Wow. Your hair therapist hitting you with you're an interesting person. I think that could be a compliment though, too. No, I fully took it as a compliment. She was kind of laughing. And then I was like uh-oh I think she likes me too much. Well here's the thing too I think. I think that women get like more societal advice than like men do

and I feel like women get like contradictory advice because like I feel like you always hear things of like oh when you have a smaller circle it's because you're like working harder you're doing X Y & Z but then it's also like girls are expected to have this like girl group of friends and like if they don't like is that a red flag yeah and I just I don't know I feel like me not wanting to go out recently, or not even recently, but like me not wanting to socialize is because you're so busy. Like you're so busy during the week and it's like I only have a couple hours.

Male friendships are a made up thing. No, right, and like when men are hanging out, they're not diving into it the way we are. Like I could never go sit with you. are. Like I could never go sit with you, right? Like I could never go sit with you with something looming on my brain and just be like, yeah dude, like we're probably not gonna talk about it today.

Like it's all we're gonna fucking talk about it. We're gonna look at it from 65 angles. Also, even if something's not looming over your head, we'll find something. Right. We're not leaving this conversation until we figure something out. No, I told you, it was like when one of our friends,

like he broke up with his girlfriend and we went to dinner, didn't bring it up for till the fucking dessert. And I was like, I don't, this is not what I signed up for. I came here for the gossip. I wanted the drama. Right, right. But it's funny, because with my therapy, and I probably shouldn't be talking about this,

but I think it might be relatable. I think I podcast too much because we start talking about stuff and next thing you know, like I'm riffing. I'm riffing, I'm riffing, I'm riffing. She's laughing. And then she's like, no, talk deeper about that. It just, it becomes a podcast.

Yeah. You're like, hey, are you available every Tuesday? For something totally subred I'll bring you just show up to your next appointment microphones Okay, can you send me this file after we're done No, I also like also part of not wanting to socialize like Certain things don't excite me the way they used to excite me and it's just I think like getting older Well, like it used to really excite me to think about going to a club on Saturday night. Yeah. Yeah, like college for me I would get excited about that and that just like doesn't excite me anymore

I get anxiety over social things and then once I do it I'm fine, but it's the beforehand that I'm like, this is bad. This is gonna be bad. I don't wanna do this. I'd rather, I feel like everything's taking time out of my time alone and I need to lean into no community is where happiness is, but sometimes it's not.

That's why we need to live next door to each other. I know I'm would rather have you know Three to five really fucking close people in my life who get me who I could be myself with Then like a huge group of people who don't give a fuck about me Well, also you meet friends in different stages of your life. At some point in our life, we're gonna be going out to dinner with our kids' friends' parents. Yeah. Like in certain situations. Why did I just get stressed?

I was like, do we invite them? No, I actually also just got in, I was scared for that. Wait, people don't talk enough about their kids becoming friends with other kids and you hating the parents. I feel like that's what makes the drama of being a parent. Or what if you like the parents but you hate the kid? I feel like there's so much untapped gossip for our future that I'm so excited about.

You know the moms, they're not only busy raising children, they're busy dealing with all the new friendships of mommy-dom. Yeah. I love, we talk about being a mom so often. I mean, we both are moms. We really are. We really are.

We don't socialize our children, though. Yeah, no. And we like it that way. But also, not to be dramatic, but like all I need is you. Like why do I need two of you? No, that would be too much. A lot of the time the more more people, the more opportunity for messiness. Yes. And also as you get older you just care less about shit. Yes, and also as you get older you just care less about shit Yeah, also, I don't have a myspace top eight

Right. I'm a fucking grown-up But it is funny, you know when like you're going to hang out with someone you're excited and then they're like Oh, I'm bringing so-and-so and you're like And they're always like you're gonna love them and you're like And it just. No, I know. No, I know. I literally did that to you this week. I was like, we're going to the US Open and I'm bringing my friend.

You were like, wait a minute. And I had to like explain. No, this is my thing that I've never fucking heard of this friend before. And then it made me feel. No, you have. Is this the one friend that I always say I've never heard of before?

Have I met her? I feel like at some birthday you would have had to us. Wait, I think I have. You have. I just, you haven't mentioned her in a while and I just felt. No, I haven't. I felt kind of blindsided.

Yeah, you felt bamboozled. Attacked. It was in text. Yeah, it was over text. It was like, yeah. It's okay though. It is hard watching your friends have other friends though. Like you do a lot of videos with other people.

Like you have a whole community of like comedian friends that I'm not really like tapped into, but like I know who they are. How does it make you feel? It makes me feel like a little bit on the outside, but also here's where like being non-social plays a great part You're not hanging out with them. So I'm not getting there's just so much jealousy I can have I'm like, okay What is she sending them a few texts? Whatever. She talks to me. It's funny

I feel like me and you would get more jealous if like you started posting with another girl like Everywhere and you were like loving her outfits and no I would never or like she said something and you started posting with another girl everywhere and you were loving her outfits. No, I would never. Or she said something and you started dying, laughing uncontrollably, and I had to watch a clip of that. OK, this is a really funny thing that I brought up the other night to Ciara, actually. I was watching a TikTok, and it was two girls,

and they were obviously friends and they were like hugging each other in the TikTok and like doing like, they were doing like some type of like sexual dance that like went along with some song and the caption was like about a guy. But like they were like dancing sexually with each other but it was like clearly a joke. And I was like, I've never been that type of friend.

Like I've never had a friendship with another female where it was like we hugged all the time and we like, like when people talk about like cuddling with their friend, could not be me. I've never even been in the situation where like I'm cuddling with my friend. Not to go there, but you know how there were always those friends who like in college some guy would be like, you two should kiss and they are like so excited to kiss. I was so scared.

I was never that girl. I was always like, you want me to do what? Well also I think from a young age I knew I didn't want to ever like bring men too much happiness. Yeah, so I was like if I'm not gonna be into it like but there were always girls who were just so comfortable. Well, I feel like you also always had friends where you were like, are they? Like hooking up with each other like I feel like at some point in my life I was like they might be. I just felt like I wasn't girly enough and if I was girlier, the girly girls would be hanging on each other and holding each other or whatever

and I was kind of like, what's up? No, okay, so see, I was really girly girl and I wasn't like that. But you know what, my best friend growing up was very similar to you. She played sports. Like so we were very opposite. So I don't know.

I think I like having a friend that's opposite of me in certain like certain things. Yeah, because you're fucking sick of yourself. I don't wanna talk to myself every day. So sick of myself. Right? I have a hot take. Oh wait, this is... Like if you called me with a legitimate outfit crisis and were like, I need to come over

and borrow something, I'd be like, shut up. See you'll all be having a crisis and you'll be like, hey, let me get you a blazer or something and I'll be like, no, no, no, no, no. And you're like, please. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. And you're like, this is going to be really bad. And I'm like, it's okay. I'd rather be bad than you have to leave your apartment right there's

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girls. Did you see the Charlie XCX Lord song where they're like, so you think I might hate you and you can hate me to be and then you hate me to save it and I knew you could hate me but I hate you to better what first of all what it what's going on first and foremost what's happening and secondly is that English because not one person knows one word you just said. The accent went too good. Charlie XEX and Lorde, people thought they were fighting and then they wrote a song together being like,

I thought you were jealous and I thought that it was cause of you and then I was like mad at you, but you really loved me and I loved you but you should, and I really thought that I did a good impression of it. And I wanted to do a TikTok with you of it, but then I realized like we would fumble it really bad. No, we would fumble that so bad.

So were they fighting? It was basically like they both were fighting. Actually, I couldn't understand the song, but like they both thought each other hated each other and they were both kind of jealous of each other a little. Wait, this just made me think of it. Okay, first of all, everyone freaking out about like Sabrina Carpenter and like her album

and all that stuff. For whatever reason, it just did not register in my mind that Olivia Rodrigo, when she became really famous, her songs were about Sabrina Carpenter. The lore. Did you not like register that either? No. Has it been confirmed? Yeah, when she wrote Driver's License

and it was like the blonde who's like older than me, it was Sabrina Carpenter that she was singing about. And I was like, that's so interesting because then Sabrina Carpenter made a whole song about Camila Cabello and how Shawn Mendes got back together with her. And I found this really interesting too. It's always a brunette jealous of a blonde

and then a blonde jealous of a brunette and we put ourselves in a vicious cycle. Like it literally went brunette blonde brunette. And this is women on women crime and we have to grow from this. It's women on women crime and it's the men to blame. No it's always the men to blame. And like how interesting they're all like

really great singers and I could not tell you, I don't even know the guy that Olivia Rodrigo is singing about. Yeah, but Shawn Mendes, is he in a cult? I think something's going on. Instead of singing about a fight we had three years ago, can someone get him out of the cult? Check on him.

No, check on him. They're busy getting, you know, who's number one, two, billboard. Someone save Shawn Mendes. If you really fucking love him so much, someone shoot him a text. We didn't even talk about your best friend giving birth. Hailey Bieber.

Wait, we just like, cause it's kind of like a personal thing. Did you, I did want to know though, did you like send like a message, like congratulations or any type of interaction? Well, it's kind of like holidays with me and you like it's too obvious like I'm not I'm not gonna say congrats like she knows I'm happy for her she knows she knows how I feel about

these things she knows I support her I don't have to like double down her phone probably had so many text messages I also don't have her number I love that we've normalized not wishing each other a happy holiday. It's unnecessary. I think if like, imagine if your dude texted you like Merry Christmas and he's like in the house with you, you're like, you cheated on me. Merry Christmas.

No, I would be uncomfortable. Like, just shut up. I have a really hot take, but I'm gonna ask you first. Who do you think should play Brittany in the biopic? Cause I have the hottest take. Oh my God, I can't wait for your hot take. Who do I think, honestly, I don't, no one like famous right now is coming to mind.

So I'm almost like, I think it should be someone that is on the come up or like Tate McCray. Oh, actually Tate McCray could be great. Can she act? Yeah. I think she can. She's saying she could dance. Isn't that like? Yeah. I feel like all the kids can do.

I have all of it now. Yeah. The Tate McCray video when she brought up Kid LaRoy. Did you see that? No. Who? she brought up Kid LaRoy. Did you see that? No, she who they're on. She's dating Kid LaRoy. Who the heck is that? You're such a millennial. Okay He's actually I don't fucking know who he is, but he's a singer What I still don't even know his name. He's like girls just want to have fun girls. Just want to dance So sure boyfriend cheated on her and now she's with him. Okay. She's with a hockey guy,

which, you know, it's a canon event. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now they were on stage singing together. Oh, wow. And it was really cute. I love- Oh, that gives me Ariana Grande, Mac Miller vibes. I know.

Or like when, and I posted that it's like when me, when Dez comes on stage after my show. And makes fun of me. And says that he's not as old as I'm trying to make him seem. My hot take is one, I totally agree, someone that we don't know who looks just like her and is supremely talented.

Or, Chaperone. Chaperone. That's so interesting. Can she act though? I feel like she's going through this like- How old is she? Good question. I feel like she's like mid-20s.

She's going through an interesting time. Because I thought she was gonna be like 22 or 23. She's 26. Oh, okay. And she's going through this time of like, basically being like fame is horrible and even I don't like it. Well, I feel like she got so famous so quick.

Not like that she hasn't been doing it for years, but it was like all of the sudden one day she performed one place and then it was like, it was just chapel-roaned forever. It was intense, yeah. But I feel like because of that kind of drama, it could be interesting to see her in that place. Oh my God, what if they put Ariana?

Cause Ariana does a good Britney impression. Ariana Grande? Grande. She's blonde. I saw a TikTok about Chappell Rowan saying how she hates being famous and basically that she reserves the right to be rude to fans.

Which is just so crazy. But what was even crazier was that I saw a TikTok of a guy that was in a nationwide commercial, and he was talking about how many people come up and ask him for pictures, like one that commercial was on TV. So he was like, I can't even imagine how Chappell Rhone feels. And he was making a valid point, but I was like, get outta here, dude.

Like, what? Wait, is this Jake from State Farm? No. No, I would never speak of Jake from State Farm. Yeah, is this Jake from State Farm? No. No I would never speak of Jake from State Farm. We love Jake from State Farm. No I love Jake. We don't understand her level of fame. We don't understand.

But like you just have to change your lifestyle a little bit which sucks. But it's because you're making so much money. Yeah. Like Taylor Swift was like oh I can't go to the nail salon anymore. Okay, would you rather trade being able to go to the nail salon or being a billionaire? I actively found somebody to come and do my nails at my apartment and I'm not a billionaire.

So Taylor, don't even start with me. But Taylor wasn't even complaining. She was just like, I do my own nails because I can't go to the nail salon, just like as a fact, it's just a fact. But it's like, I do my own nails because I can't go to the nail salon just as a fact. It's just a fact. But it's like, yeah, there's trade-offs. There's 100% trade-offs.

And granted, yes, stalking not cool. Harassing not cool. Stalking 100% not cool. But I feel like every famous person deals with that. Right. I just feel like sometimes I'm just like, okay, if taking a couple pictures at dinner is the worst thing to ever happen to you, that like right I just feel like sometimes I'm just like okay if like taking a couple pictures at dinner is like the worst thing to ever happen to

you like I think you're okay yeah but also like in moderation and like people like not being weird about it I mean I'm sure she gets a ton of weirdos though right yeah but it's like you just look. Well kids, people in their 20s are nuts. Yeah. They're nuts. Yeah. But I also have to say, I love her shit and she's doing great and I hope that this doesn't make her stop making music.

Right. Did you see Adele is taking a break? Adele. She said she's been working for seven years straight to build a life and now she's gonna go live that said she's been working for seven years straight to build a life and now she's gonna go live that life she's built. I feel like when people announce they're leaving,

they always come back. Yeah, talk about someone who literally, revenge was the top thing. Yeah. On her list. Yeah, well she's been at touring. Yeah. Non-stop. Yeah. Well she's been at touring. Yeah. Nonstop.

Which is gonna be us soon. No, I can't believe it. I literally, I need to buckle down and take my vitamins. What vitamins are you taking? Like what's in right now? I don't even know what I'm taking, honestly. Sprinkle some meth. It's so hard to keep a regimen, but I really try.

I know, if you could take your supplements, even if they're not working, it gives a weird placebo. I've been putting a vitamin C packet in my Stanleys every morning, like my Symbiotica. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, that's at least gonna do something. Yeah, it has to. Is that equivalent to 10 oranges?

So I was like, okay. I'm etalyzea Slesinger. No way. When I went to this outdoor festival, it's called Outdoors something. I didn't realize it was actually outdoors. Like I thought it was just outdoorsy, because it was in Canada. And I showed up.

But you were in like an amphitheater. Yeah, like fully like trees, outdoors. And I said, are we, wait, I didn't know it was in Canada and I showed up. But you were in like an amphitheater. Yeah, like fully like trees outdoors and I said, are we, wait, I didn't know it was outdoors. Yeah. And then at the end, like I was featuring for her, so I had to announce her and I go. Oh my God. So I was like, shout out to Liza Sessinger,

like I love her so much. She's about to burn this forest to the ground. Hannah burner, Hannah burner Hannah burner You made a forest fire Canada people were like I started dying laughing and I was like, oh is that too much? The gigglers are messaging me cuz not everyone was a giggler there the gigglers were like, oh my god You made a joke about burning the forest to the ground. That's one of the craziest things

I think I've ever heard someone do. That is- Well, I wanted to say, she's about to bring the house down, but we weren't in a house, so I was like, she's gonna light this shit on fire. Burn it down. She's gonna start a small forest fire. That could be hard to tame.

Yeah, no, that's insane. How was it, though? Well, it was fun because she asked me to go to her hotel room before to like get ready with her. Oh my god. I was like so nervous because she's has she's done so many specials she's so iconic and like yeah all I want is respect from other female comedians like that's that's when I get like weird I like, hey. I walk in and I'm wearing like a. It's like being a freshman in high school.

Literally, I felt like an eighth grader and I'm meeting the senior and she's like smoking a cigarette and she's like, you wanna learn the biz? Yeah. I walked in, she was so fucking nice, so normal. Like she could have literally punched me in the face and I've been like, I love you, Eliza. But she was wearing leggings and a t-shirt.

And I came in with a skirt and a good American off the shoulder thing and my boots, and she was like, oh my god, you're dressed so nice. And I was like, first of all, no one's ever told me that. Second of all, I'm used to being the one that dresses like trash, this is crazy. And she's like, I only dress up when I shoot my special. Stop.

I dress in just lounge wear, like pajamas, for the rest of it. And I was like, that's iconic. Paige would be- Did you tell her you were so stressed picking your special outfit? Oh, we talked about that. It was a whole thing.

But then she goes, or maybe I brought it up. Someone brought it up. They're like, wouldn't it be funny if we switched outfits right now? And was like that's we were like filming I'm I thought like I this I thought I knew where this was story was going But I'm actually at a crossroads, and I'm really I'm fully unclear Filming for what? Like what do you?

We were filming like a get ready with me video. Who suggested? I think I did. It's oh, cause like in my head, it's like some creepy guy being like, this would be cool if you guys switch clothes on camera. But basically. It's like, wait what?

I was telling her, I was like, you would look so cute in like these high boots and like off the shoulder. And she, we decided we should switch clothes and I thought that was gonna be so funny and cute I didn't realize I'm a sweaty disgusting pig. No you're a sweaty disgusting pig. And I was outdoors getting to her and then you know I get nervous when I talk to people so I'm like I'm full sweat mode and I take it off and I give it to her and

she's like this is soaking wet. No Hannah Lucy. And I was like off and I give it to her and she's like, this is soaking wet. No, Hannah Lucy. And I was like, I'm so sorry we don't have to do this. And she was like, no, we're doing this. And I'm like, no, no, no, like I didn't realize I was, you don't know you're sweating until you take it off. And you're like, that's like soaked, like dripping. And she was like, no, we're doing it. And I'm like, Eliza, no, please don't do this.

She puts it on. She's like, this is disgusting. And I was, and I'm literally like, no, we're doing it. And I'm like, Eliza, no, please don't do this. She puts it on. She's like, this is disgusting. And I was, and I'm literally like, I just feel like, I feel like it was a bonding for us, but I also feel like she didn't deserve that. And I didn't, I shouldn't have put her through that kind of. As someone who's probably interacted with your sweat, I would say probably second to your husband but I

don't even know because I've been sweated on, I've stuck my foot in things that like your foot's been in. Like I fully also have like put your clothes on so like it's a weird position to be in you know so I feel for Eliza. And then she looked at me because I was wearing her clothes. I'm wearing her leggings. Wait, here's one thing I will say, and I think this is really important. For as much as we talk about how much you sweat,

never once in my life have I been like, Hannah, you smell. You don't smell. People don't talk about that enough. I literally have no smell. People don't talk about that enough. I literally have no smell. People don't talk about that enough because it actually adds to the lore of your sweat because I'm like, what is it though? Because it's not your typical, oh my God, she's sweating so much.

She just worked out. She has B.O. You don't smell. It almost takes you off guard that you've even sweat so much because I like I haven't smelled the thing. It's aquafina. It's aquafina coming out of my pores. No it's insane. But you're so right I don't smell and I don't people don't talk about that ever. Like no one knows it and it's very important. Like you sweating is very intimate and personal with you. It doesn't involve other people

No, unless they're trying to take your clothes But I'm standing there and I'm wearing her leggings and she's like, oh no Are you gonna sweat my leggings and like I can't control my pussy sweat So I'm like because I do sweat in my creases like in my thigh creases Yeah, it's bad. So I was like I need to get this off me immediately because it's one thing for I Just I don't want to hurt her. So now you're nervous sweating, obviously. So I take it off and then we're like, everything's okay, but

it was one of those girlhood moments where like we did kind of bond, which was nice. Yeah. And then I got to perform and I introduced her and it just was like very fun and cool and even though I was really upset about Challengers, like seeing her made me feel a lot better. I hope Zendaya didn't see your rant about Challengers. I ended my rant saying watch it for Zendaya, do not approve of the script,

do not approve of the characters. Do not approve of the writing, the producing. Like techno music the whole time. I just couldn't follow. Cause there was nothing to follow. There was nothing to follow. And there was really no, I kept waiting I think for some big like epic sex scene.

I think the movie on Amazon, what was it? The one that Sabrina's ex-boyfriend was in. The one Jacob Elordi was in. Yeah, Saltburn. Saltburn. I was expecting it to turn to some crazy sex scene, like a la Saltburn. I don't know, I just thought it was gonna have that vibe.

And it wasn't. And I, also something is to be said about movies thinking they're so artsy. No, but like I actually- Like you can't be too artsy. Yeah, you know about movies thinking they're so artsy. No but like I can be too artsy. Yeah you know those movies that they're like they don't give a fuck if we know what the plot is like this is yeah their own like cultural experiment and I'm like don't use me as a guinea pig and you're fucking weird art project. Yeah and it's like your movies too like minimalist I

I don't even know what their names are. The point of movies is to feel something and if all I'm seeing is like weird shit that confuses me, it's like no thank you. But that's so funny because I, when they started their like kissing scenes, I'm like sitting next to a dude. So I'm like, oh my God, I hope there's no like P in the V cause like that's so awkward that I'm like watching porn next to a stranger. It's so awkward that I'm watching porn next to a stranger.

No, it's so awkward when that happens on a plane. I watch the freedom movie and her boobs are out and I don't want to stop watching but I'm also like this is too much. I always skip. I'm like I can't. What if someone's behind me and it's a child? But they never got to any fun crazy fucking scenes

and then they kept changing the timeline and the only way you'd know she was younger was from like The how long her hair was which yes That was so fucking stupid Yeah I hate when movies switch back and forth because it's like a different time and they don't tell you and it's like okay I didn't sign up for this. I don't need the switching back in time stuff and also let's be honest, I was into storying the whole time, rage into storying.

Hannah and I are traveling all the time. I was just in Italy for two weeks and now we're about to go on tour for a few months. We got an Airbnb for Hannah's wedding and as the gigglers know, we had the most fun weekend. Not only is Airbnb a great resource for finding places to stay, but you can also use your spare room or home to host on Airbnb. We use Airbnb a lot for our own trips, but somehow never thought about hosting on Airbnb.

Hosting with Airbnb is easy and a great way to make some money while you're on vacation. You know I love to shop while on vacation and hosting gives you some extra money to spend on yourself. While you're away your home could be an Airbnb. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Something I do think people should watch there's a documentary out called Gary on peacock. Oh about Gary Coleman No way. I knew nothing about Gary Coleman Who knows anything about Gary Coleman? What was the name of that show again? What was the name of this if flying colors or something? Let me see. This was before our time guys. Yeah, Gary Coleman

Different strokes different, different strokes. Different strokes. Different strokes. So he basically was like acute, genius, hysterical, amazing. But he did have some problems with like his kidney. So he was like sick all the time and he ended up having that like kind of stunted growth. But he was the biggest fucking star from 1978 to 1986

in different strokes, and then his life got fucking crazy. Like, people stealing his money, like, huge beef with his parents, and falling in love with people who were just using him, and they're interviewing everyone, so you kind of don't know whose side to take. And then he dies and it's like a little mysterious how he died.

He apparently fell at home with his wife. I know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know. I don't like that. I know. And there's, yeah, it's just a very well done documentary. Being famous as a kid is fucked up. No, I couldn't and it's just a very well done documentary. Being famous as a kid is fucked up. No, I couldn't imagine it.

I truly, truly couldn't imagine it. But I understand why people say that when you get famous things stop, because you actually stop living life. You just become a character. You're not learning who you are, you literally just become a brand. How don't like, you're not like learning who you are, you literally just become a brand. How old was he when he died?

I think in his 40s, he basically lived. Oh my God, I didn't realize he was that young. 42, but they said, they didn't know if he was even gonna like live past like 12 because of his diseases. But he was a very very very interesting guy and like a little how long is the documentary I think like an hour 30 oh okay so it's not in multiple parts no it was just a peacock thing about Gare and he was so cute and smart you watch the Netflix document, like the worst ex or something?

I haven't watched it sometimes. Okay, because I don't click on documentaries because I'm like, oh Hannah might watch this. You're like, I could save seven hours. I'm like, she'll just tell me. I like when they do the ones like crazy exes or like roommates, like they're good, but it takes me more to like get into it because it just seems like there's so many different stories you

like one yeah you like one big story where the characters are all the same and they're like investigating I'm obsessed with people's like huge downfalls and then I'm obsessed with people's huge rising ups yes and it could be like a real murder it could be cultish, it could be murder, it could be music. Yeah, you like a real roller coaster. I want a fucking story. But I do think for manifesting,

I will watch the Taylor Swift documentary. I'll just put it on sometimes as my comfort thing. Yep. There's something about it that is like, I just like that- That's you in the mood. I'm in the mood to be like, let's take over the world and I'm going to manifest with watching Taylor Swift's documentary.

I've been journaling. Oh, you're not okay. That's next level. Who told you you have to journal? Because no one does it on their own. No one's like, I'm going gonna journal. Who told you to journal? I just found my brain to feel, like, feeling very messy. Okay. And I felt like it was going to like calm certain, like I sometimes find it hard to compartmentalize certain things.

Like I'll be like thinking about something all day that like doesn't really matter, that I don't need to be thinking about all day. And I felt like journaling. Helps you process the emotion. Yeah, helps me process certain things and then like compartmentalize things. Or it also helps you like.

And I'm very into, this might sound like a little bit woo woo and like, but when I wanna manifest something, I find it really important to be like so grateful of my life, so like when I'm journaling, also I like to write out like things that I love about my life. And I think that helps me manifest things. Gratefulness is super important.

One of my friends was saying he was dating a girl who she would text him every morning 10 things she was grateful for. Okay, that's insane. And he broke up with her. He broke up with her. But I was like, wait, that's so fucking sweet though. If that happened to me in real life,

like if I rolled over every day and my partner told me 10 things they were grateful for, I would shoot them in the face. Wait. Okay, gun violence, okay, gun violence. I didn't say with what, like it could be like a literal Nerf gun. You would bedazzle your gun.

I would be so fucking angry. You would bedazzle your gun like sidekicks in the 2000s. I'd have a Juicy Couture gun. Wait, but the gratefulness makes so much sense because if you think of your life in scarcity where you're like, I don't have anything, I'm not happy, I need this and you're forcing stuff, that's not when things come to you.

That's like dating, that's like in meetings, but when you're grateful you have this like overwhelming like everything is available to me, everything is possible, I have everything, I don't need anything and things just start falling in your lap. The abundance, you just have an abundance. No I really believe in that. To quote the great Serena Williams, she actually said something that really hit home to me. Because Cocoa Golf was playing, and Cocoa was having a lot of trouble with her forehand, da da da,

which I've had trouble with in the past. Wait, can we talk about Naomi Osaka's outfit? Outfit? What do you think? I love the bow. I love the bows. I just think it's so cute. Some of them I'm like, I feel like that's hard to play in.

I mean, she's in full tutus. I'm like, I feel like that might be, she's gotta be hot. She's doing what Serena would do, where like you'd watch Serena and you're like, there's no way she's comfortable in that. Or like, she probably would've won that match if she didn't have like denim on. She's got crinoline under her skirt.

Like, I mean, it's insane. But it's so good for the game of tennis. And like, honestly, the reason why you would have loved tennis is you realize every tournament, you could wear whatever you want. No, that's the thing. Like, there's no jerseys. I would pick like a set. And it's all sets.

So like a Reebok set, or like a Nike set, or a dress. I will have like a small unpopular opinion. I'm rarely impressed by the female tennis outfits. Like I don't get why like Chanel hasn't like done a full exclusive line for like one tennis girl. Like I don't get it. I think Wilson is doing good stuff. I think FP movement is doing good stuff,

but these are all. Like why isn't Tory Burch in there like whipping some things out? Tory Burch sport, I wanna see more cause they're so good. You're so fucking right. I think what happens is like Nike and Adidas dominate and they kind of have their stuff,

but occasionally the top girls like Sharapova would do this. She'd be like, I wanna design my own dress for Roland Garros. And she would sit down with the designer, that's what Serena would do, which is really cool. Yeah, that was cool. But I do like what Naomi's doing, it's fun and cool. No, it's fun, and I feel like the US Open is like

a easy one to do that at because it's not as uptight and fancy as Wimbledon. Do you know what's so conty too? They have different dresses for their day and their night matches. Yeah, so if they're in the day they wear the lighter color like white and at night they wear their like black sparkly whatever outfit. Yeah. No, I think that's like half the fun because sometimes I'm like the men's outfits look better. Like sometimes the men look like more put together. Like some of the girls, they really, their outfit is really not something they're prioritizing.

They're trying to win the match and they want to be comfortable. But also it's like, there are designers that could lean in more. Um, yeah. And make them comfy. But Serena's quote was, they were like, do you think Coco should change her forehand, da da da? And Serena's the greatest of all time, so I'm like listening, like what is she gonna say? And Serena goes, everyone hits the forehand differently, everyone goes about their life differently,

but the one thing you need to have is confidence. She's like, I don't care how she's hitting it, hit it with a belief in yourself. And that, and not to go all sports mode, but the relationship you have with tennis is similar to your relationship with life. And it's so true where so many times you're like, am I doing this right?

Does this look perfect? Is this perfect? Am I going about the right way? Just fucking do it with confidence. And you're so ahead of the pack. And that's where delusion comes in. You know what I feel like used to give me a lot of confidence in my early 20s,

and this is so random, but I used to go to so many workout classes, and I used to get so insecure about other people watching you in the workout class, and then I realized that every other person is also worried about that. So they're not even taking the time to watch you because they think you're watching them.

And that twist gave me more confidence. I was like, no one's even watching me. They're worried about themselves. I went to yoga class recently, a hip hop yoga class, and this girl next to me was like, she was like grunting, and then she was like doing like weird extra stuff. Like she was just like going off on her own,

doing her weird stuff, and I was like, that girl's awesome. Like back in the day, That girl has so much confidence. Literally, like she was like grunting, and big breaths, and maybe back in the day, you'd be like, why is she doing that? I was like, that girl doesn't give a fuck

and I wanna be her friend. She's getting her $25 worth out of this fricking class. I literally was like, she's an icon and she's probably really successful, is what I thought. She does her and doesn't give a fuck. And Serena's so right, we're all imperfect but do stuff with confidence

Not to bring it full circle But I think that's also why we don't care about like socializing anymore because you get to an age where you're like I don't need to go out to talk up. What are we gonna? I'm not gonna talk about myself. Like I don't need to impress you So it's like I'm just gonna stay home. I also think we bond because we have like, we do have similar mental illness. I agree. And we tell people like, oh, we're best friends because we have the same sense of humor, which means, say, mental illness. Mental illness.

Yes. Sorry, our depression and anxiety line up perfectly. Our demons fucking love each other. Right before we end I also have one other hot take. Cookie dough croissants. Like from where? There's like chocolate chip croissants going around. The French are laughing right in our face. I'm saying no. I'm saying we've gone too far. Let's stop. People are dying. I would try it, but to me, I'm not seeing how it would be a croissant.

How are they making it flaky? It's like flaky around. I just don't, we don't need it. We don't need it. We don't need it. And people are gonna die from it. No, we don't need it. It's too much, it's excessive, and I don't think it's fun.

I know I'm really getting old when I'm like, that should be banned. I'm like, that is so bad for you, that should literally be banned. That has red dye 40 ban it. I never thought I would be that person. And I'm like, I love candy and I love sugar, and I'm like, ban it and I love sugar and I'm like

Bannett no, it just it makes me upset cuz like then where is happiness if you can put all your favorite things together into one thing It's like what is life like let me chase something. Let me try to find something Don't just give me fucking cookie dough croissants on a platter. I don't know how to process it. I don't like it Daphne's being so cute by the the way. We're on Zoom and she's just like loving, hanging, hearing your voice. She just jumped down. She doesn't like being talked about. So this weekend, I know she knew I was talking about her and she's like, don't monetize me.

She's like, keep my name out of your mouth. 1-800-TRY-ME. Oh yeah, we launched the merch. Finally. Finally. Finally. Finally, we have new merch. And we also launched a tie, which was my idea. And then the bow is so cute.

The bow is adorable. It's so cute. We brought back voice rest. So anyway, if you missed the merch drop, we've dropped merch. We haven't dropped merch for a long time because we were dealing with some admin stuff, but now we're back on track. And then this weekend, do you know where we're going? Yep, we're going down south.

We're going to Charlotte, North Carolina. Charlotte, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston. I'm so excited to see the gigglers. Any advice for them? Just like come ready to giggle Just get ready to fuck around and find out. I can't wait to see everyone's outfits the shows completely different Socializing when you hate socializing. No, that's the only socializing I want to do with my community My community tell your therapist about this. Yeah, I was like, how dare you?

How dare you talk about giggly squabble like that? We're about to socialize all weekend no it's gonna be fucking crazy we love you guys so much thank you for giggling and we'll talk to you later bye