Giggly Squad - Giggling about crying, clam slams, and cake pops

Episode Date: July 3, 2026

Paige realizes she's never processed an emotion and Hannah is basically living in a sauna.subscribe to our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Got away from me? Hello, my grimacing gigglers. Okay. What does that mean?

Grimmis is this. Okay. That's me smiling. It's a grimace. Yeah, okay. We've started a movement. It's soft smile summer. The girls aren't smiling.

To people please, we're just being ourselves. and if you don't smile, people still love you. I don't know. I just made that up. How are you? I haven't smiled once in solidarity. That's a lie, because you've posted two TikToks smiling at the end. And it was giving, you don't care about your best friend.

I was like, oh, okay, just attack me to my face. I have been thinking about you a lot. No, you know what I'm going through and you decided to smile in two out of two outfit talks. crazy and people noticed the other night I FaceTime to Anna and it was actually so sad because she goes

I haven't been able to give my real smile all day because I don't want to scare people and now that I get to laugh with you on FaceTime it's so freeing you guys I'm at my job and the good news is it's going well because I'm like leaning

into being serious but I can't smile because it makes me look like I'm crying and it freaks people out so I like have to hold it in until I get back to my hotel room with them just like you know what I'm actually really proud of us though because I feel like whenever we go through something also I've been shitting my brains out here um we make it acceptable for the girls to like just pee themselves well it's so cool that we say something that's like so depressing and sad and then all the gigglers are like I feel less alone this happened to me or this isn't happening to me but I at least can laugh at you like the fact that I'm some people literally like I was in the darkest depression and then I watched the YouTube of you trying to smile and it brought me out of it and I'm like it was worth it was worth it stabbed me a million times but um my feed now every nurse doctor practitioner is now like doing videos about what happened to me trying to help which is kind of great because I'm getting all this like free advice but

But all the advice is like, you fucked. Yeah. You have a couple months. And some of them are like, this was extremely rare. How did this happen to both Paige and Hannah? No. Within a couple months. How our ops are working overtime.

But also, I feel like nurses are nervous because they're like, hey guys, Botox, like, isn't as horrible as Paige and Hannah making it seem. They just have really bad luck. And I'm like, okay, well, the math isn't mathing. No. The statistics that me and my best friend in the course of three months had a Botox mishap. This was the third time I did Masseter. So I'm one for three. You're one of two.

Yeah. You're one for one of two. One of two. Okay. So that's two out of five. Two out of five. That's almost half. You've lost me.

Sorry, I've actually tapped out of this. 40%. Wait, by the way. 40%. being in Toronto, I forgot to tell you, I got to my flight early. And then I looked at when the flight was boarding and it said, 2010. And in that moment, I was like, I'm not going to make it.

Because like the second, it's a milt, once you're in the 20s, like, I feel like 15, I could do the math. But once you're in the 20s, that's like, you've lost me. It's the next day. It's the next day. And then I realized the reason me and you podcasting when you're in Italy, totally fun, totally easy, the hard part is we can't do math. So I'll be like, Paige, I'm free at 4 p.m. And she's like, don't know when that is.

I'm like, cool, cool. Somebody tried to schedule a Zoom with me. And Josephine was like, hey, like they want to do it. And I go, okay, if they're in California, we're fucked. I was like, you tell them pick a time and I'll see if I'll be there. If I have to carry a one to get to that time, we're not doing it. So, yeah, now we're just like, hey, are you free in the next 20 minutes? And if we're not, then we just wait.

We haven't set one time. Also, I was running on the treadmill. Do you remember I was bragging to you how fast I was running? Uh-huh, because you're fast twitch muscle. Turns out, I wasn't running miles per hour. I was running kilometers per hour. Okay, well, I stepped on the scale here, and it's in kilograms, and I go, yeah, I like that number. You know what?

I'm not even going to convert that because that seems nice. I thought I was like an Olympian. I go, wow, I jogged once and I'm running at nine for seven minutes. I actually was like so, I was like, holy shit. I was Kendall Jenner. I was like, I'm athletic, so genetically athletic. But babe, sauna life, it's been a lot. I love a sauna.

How many minutes are you going in for? Well, this is the thing. there's a sauna at my hotel but it's not like a full person sauna it's like two people i mean it's two people like it's not like a big sauna so i get i keep having these sauna um interactions which i didn't know was legal the first one sit down a man comes in and i'm like should i call the police like is that are you i'm in the sauna like why would you cover my sauna turns to me goes hey really liked your special another man he must have been on the background of his girlfriend's like living room How are they finding us?

Okay, that's not right or cool. Then the next day, I'm in the sauna watching Wimbledon, and these two are gossiping, gossiping. They turn to me, they go, sorry, what time is it? I look up. I'm like, I can't read military time, I don't know. 37, 42, who the fuck knows? And the guy was a gagler.

He turns to me, goes, oh, Hannah Burns. Oh my god So I'm two for two starts asking me About all the tea going on and I said look what happens in the sauna stays in the sauna So I'm gossiping Yeah They get out Sona yesterday

There was a girl in like it's by the pool wearing a full thong In the sauna like I guess bathing suits are like that now I go in there's a huge Like butt mark from her sitting in the sauna. Wait, that's disgusting. No, I was like, I'm kind of sauna culture.

I don't understand yet. It's freaking me out. I got into a fight in a sauna one time. What happened? Okay, I go into this. I'm in a building. I'm in like an apartment building. It's a communal sauna.

It's, but girl, it's in like a girl's locker room. So it's just women. but it's like a pretty big sauna like it's two rows if you really want to pack 10 people in there you could I work out in the gym and then I go into the locker room and I go in the sauna and I'm in my workout clothes and I kept my sneakers on okay and I'm sitting there my feet are on the ground this woman comes in and she's wearing she's also in like workout clothes.

like regular clothes, but no shoes. And she says to me, you know, it's really rude to come in with your sneakers on. People lay their heads down, like lay on these benches. And I turn to her and I go, well, that's disgusting because this is a communal sauna. And why would someone be laying their sweaty body down? So I kept my sneakers on and was like, that's where me and you were different. I would have been like, I am so sorry. This is your culture.

I don't understand your culture. I'm taking off my shoes. I love, and then you sat there and looked at her the whole time. I was this close to being like, and who the fuck are you to tell me what I'm going to do in the goddamn sauna? I go, well, that's disgusting. You shouldn't lay down in it. The sauna is full of people's sweat.

She was trying to tell me I was in like a health code violation. I was like, no, no, lady. I think you with your bare ass feet. I also said, I go, well, I would be nervous to not have. have socks and shoes on because that's how foot fungus spreads. So hop off my dick, lady. I love all the women around you being like, valid points are being made. And I suddenly don't want to be here anymore.

No, I feel like that's where COVID started. I'm like, I took this relaxing experience and just. Well, being in a small hot space with strangers is my nightmare. And I've had three bad experiences. No, no, no. The second one was fun because we gossip. but like I was, I just want to watch Wimbledon. You're in a different place than you typically are.

And I would say that like when people, when you're in a random situation and someone does want to talk to you, you're very happy and jolly and you do want to engage. But you're going through a time right now. No, I know. Because you can't talk. That's your favorite thing to do is talk. No, I know.

And I do have to say the one thing that's getting me through this, and if we're being so real with each other. Yeah, let's. I'm getting so much attention. Like, if I wasn't getting attention, you guys, I would be like in a really, really bad place. But I go to sleep at night and I go, at least people are talking about me. At least people care enough. And it's actually crazy because when it first started happening, I was on TikTok.

And I found like two or three girls that had happened to. And all these girlies are now posting being. like hey you guys remember when this happened to me it's happening to hannah burner and the girl was so funny she's like hannah burner we got another diva down she didn't look at my so we're kind of all bonding even meredith um wishbone kitchen she said it happened to her um Megan trainer said it happened to her and um it's it divas are going down left and right are people just not saying when it happens because they're embarrassed because when it happened to me I literally was I can't tell you me no i i'm i would tell everyone that would listen i'd be like i know you don't know me so you don't know

what my actual smile looks like but look at this because this ain't it like i wanted to tell everyone so i don't get it like are the girls it don't be embarrassed but the gigglers yeah they're getting me through it by laughing and like people are telling me like just that it's it made them happy and that makes like it really like for a month of sadness is cured for sure where I would have been really sad. So yesterday we would try to record you, you were going through it. Are you okay?

You know, this is my karma for laughing in my TikToks while my friend can't move her face because we truly have switched positions. I was, and you know, this is my own fault because I came onto the trip and I said, I'm going to eat a fuck ton on this trip. You were determined. I was determined.

And it takes me a couple days to like acclimate to anywhere. Like I can't. And sometimes people will have this problem where, like, they can't go to the bathroom on vacation. I get the opposite where I'm like, it's running through me. To the point that last night we were at dinner and I said, I looked at the table and I go, guys, I've had a lovely time. But if I don't run back to the room, I will, in fact, shit myself here at the table. So it's been lovely, but I must, I must jet.

So I literally. We're supposed to record after dinner. So I'm like, hey, babe, haven't heard from you. And she's like, I literally physically can't get off the toilet right now. Here's the worst part. I run back to my room. My room and my brother's room, we have like a joining door. Adorable.

In Europe, you take, you have to put your car, your key card in like the slot from like, right when you walk in the door for like the electricity. Okay. Yeah. I run back to the room. They're doing turn down service in my room. Oh, no. I'm like, I'm like, it's okay.

Hey, like, and they're like, oh, well, like, I'm like, no, no, like, no, like no. Like, no, like no, like no, like no. I go into my brother's room, pitch black. I don't have his key card, obviously. So I'm sitting on the toilet. Shitting. Pure black. Just pitch black.

And honestly, let me tell you. Were you sure you found the toilet? I had to use my flashlight on my phone. Okay. Wait, so you sat there in darkness. just relieving yourself. Imagine if your brother walked in. Then he came in later and he was like,

are you fucking kidding? And actually, when we first got to the hotel, I went in and went into a hotel room and I really had to go to the bathroom. So I go into the hotel room, I go to the bathroom and then I come out and I'm like, I actually want the other room. Like I don't want this room.

I want the one my brother's in. So I go, let's switch. You're so Regina George. So let's switch rooms and he's like, okay. And so we switch rooms. And then he goes, did you take a shit? It was like the most brother-sister thing. And I was just like, yeah, I did.

What are you going to do about it? Tell mom. It was, yeah, I literally going on vacation with your siblings is like reverting back to childhood. Like everyone reverts back to their position in the family, I feel like. The only person that finds my mouth funnier. than you is my brother. No, my parents are like being actually really like, are you okay?

My brother, he can't even look at me without crying hysterically. He thinks it's the funniest thing. But my dad, by the way, I always have a nervous stomach too. And I'm known. I like to when I get to a restaurant. I go to the bathroom, not just to go to the bathroom, but to like see the ambiance. Like, I need to know the full restaurant and the bathroom's a huge experience. So whenever I'm at a restaurant, I go, I have to go to the bathroom.

I like to, I'll take, between appetizer and Maine, I like to just clean it out. Go relieve yourself. Yeah. And my dad always goes, you gotta go to the bathroom? That's a surprise. That's a surprise. That's like his favorite thing. That, oh Hannah's going to the bathroom.

That's a surprise. Have you ever tried to go non-dairy for like longer than? Three minutes? Yeah. I've done it for like a meal and then the next meal I forgot. That's my thing too. Whenever I'm like, I'm on a diet. literally forget.

You have to remember. And like, oh, yeah. I'm also like, is there dairy and scaly and cream cheese? Like, yeah, I'm like, okay. You're like, okay, well, I planned on having a bagel. So. No. One thing I do want to point out that's very different from European hotels to American hotels.

Why is there already a fork and knife in my hotel room when I have not ordered anything? Like just in case I happen upon a meal, they're like, don't worry, we got you. Like, you don't have to. We're like, if you're at any hotel in America, you have to be like. They can't find a fork. Yeah. I'm like, hey, could you send up a fork? And they're like, whoa.

Eight years later, they're like, we got to turn this place upside down. We'll find you a fork. We're in Italy. They're like, what if you come home and you have a little snack? What would you do? And there's also little butter knives. There's little butter knives, right? Which is what happened last night when I came back to the room to go to the bathroom.

Then my family came back and they brought me my leftover ravioli. And so then I ate it then. What I love about us and our families too is we're so many character energy. Like whether it's bad or good, it's going to be about us. Like it is the page and Hannah's show nonstop. My dad literally goes, why are you so tired? I go, because I have to perform every night at 8 p.m. What would we do at dinner if I wasn't performing?

Like I'm exhausted. I'm doing two weeks. I'm shows. I've been writing. I'm like, you think that the running joke for the whole trip is going to stay alive if I don't keep it alive? Sometimes living a wellness lifestyle can be a lot harder than you initially planned. And that's because there's so many products out there that greenwash their products, say things like they're more natural or clean than they really are.

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You want to know what I did this year? What? I checked in. They bring our bags up. I called down. I go, hey, any chance you guys have an unpacking service? They go, Mr. Sorbo, of course. I go, amazing.

I'm going to go to the pool. And they're like, great, we'll send someone up. I get changed. I go to the pool. I have my day. I come back up all my clothes hanging. Amazing. Lovely. Do yourself a favor ask for that next time you're out of hotel. Well, this is the problem. I don't like calling people. Second of all, so there's a laundry bag. It says laundry. So I'm like, okay, I could do this. But then it has a slip. I've already done two loads here. I love doing laundry on vacation.

Paige, I have a huge thing of laundry. I have to go through and tell them how many of each thing. well you waited too long you got to do it you got to do it like once a week i'll do it after the pod okay yeah but it's gonna feel so good no that's like one of the only slips i like filling out i'm like i wasn't anticipating being in the sauna every day so i only brought four t-shirts no you're busy i want to say something about love island let it out i'm fully caught up on u s i said i wasn't going to do this but here we are and I'm fully caught up because I can't be out of the loop of anything and you know what I'm like you guys aren't even love real love island fans so like if anyone's going to be in the combo I'm going to be in a god is this a kidding this bug is

that's the ruining my life I've ever seen the bugs here are big like they're meaty like they eat a fly yeah I'm a meatball I was watching like one of the most recent episodes and it's so interesting watching like obviously watching reality TV and especially like a game show type reality TV where they're in like this incubus where it's only what they're dealing with. So there's this girl. Her name is Anaya. She was coupled up with this guy. His name is Casey. They go to Casa Amor, blah, blah, blah, whatever. She comes, she's like, I'm going to stay single. Hopefully he stayed single. He doesn't. He comes back with a girl. They get in this like whole big thing, whatever. But there is a moment where she starts crying because he's

come back with a girl. And I have never watched a reality television show and cried because I'm Scorpio. Yeah, that's just not something I would ever do. I literally started tearing up because I knew, I knew in my gut, not only was she dealing with like this guy just being like the biggest asshole. Like honestly, a lot of the men on Love Island this year because their Gen Z are very red-pilled. and it's very scary and I don't think people are realizing it to the full potential. Like the way they talk about the girls doing sexual things is very, very back in time.

Like it's actually like concerning. Anyway, that's a whole separate situation. I digress. But I could tell that I started tearing up because I could tell that she was crying because she wanted to be like, and I'm being filmed right now. Like she was so frustrated and she was like, and I'm on a show. Like, and everyone is. watching this like you could tell it wasn't just about the guy it was about like and i i feel like i'm in

jail because i can't fuck it like i want to leave i have to leave you and she's like this is fucking embarrassing and i didn't sign up to be embarrassed i signed up to like find love and like have yes and so there was i just felt so horrible for i literally started like i had a full tear run down my face because i was like i know exactly what you're feeling like I was almost like yeah girl go home like if you want to go home go home like I'm a very big proponent of like and I'll leave fuck you and I'm going home there are so many times I tried slash should have left and I didn't because I told myself I'm not a quitter sometimes you should quit persevere I think with reality TV too like page and I aren't criers and we've cried on TV many times because when there's a camera there

everything feels so much more intense. And serious. Serious. And that's why when someone does something mean on camera, it's so much meaner because you're like, you know the whole world's going to see you say that about me. So like you want you want the whole world to think that about me. There are so many times where you're like on camera. Are you fucking kidding me?

That came out of your mouth on camera? And there are times, I think too, that you realize that not every. one is built like you because there would be situations where I like in my head I'd be like I would never fucking do that to you on camera look there's been horrible men on love island since 2015 it's not like this is the beginning at time yeah it's not like it's like a nuanced thing but never once in my years of watching love island have I ever heard a man say or complain that the girl he is coupled up with is not doing enough sexual things with him And also the way the men disguise, like, well, I'm just very affectionate.

Well, my love language is affectionate. Yeah, no shit you want your dick sucked. Like, we're not idiots. Yeah. But the way they're talking about like the sexual acts that the girls are doing or not doing, it's like, hey, they're on national television. Like, I think it's a pretty plausible thing to not want to fuck on a television show. I'm confused, though.

Are the guys wanting the girls to be more sexual or judging them for being sexual or both? Both. So they want them to be more sexual with them. But like if a girl explores more than one, they're like, really? Do you need to explore more than one person? Yet's fucking Love Island. That's the whole goddamn point of the show. Meanwhile, they're talking to everyone.

Wait, what's with the, it's called the clamshell drop or something? the it's the split where she's called slamming the clam she's slamming her clam Is that what they're calling it? Yeah that's what's coming up

in my algorithm The clam slam slam clam slam Okay I actually don't hate that But yeah she does a lot of splits I'm so fucking jealous Honestly I'm so fucking jealous If I could slam my clam

Oh Hannah if you could do splits I'd actually have to re-evaluate our friendship Wait do you know That's why I started watching Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders yesterday. And your thoughts, honey?

I have, I watched the whole first season, honey. I'm so glad you didn't do it the way you did Mormon wives where you literally went backwards because that was diabolical. Yeah, that confused me. So you're one season in, okay. My thoughts are these women literally bring these cheerleaders out back and leave them for dead. They're like, oh, did you gain three pounds? Fuck out of here.

They're like, hey, legally, we can't tell you to lose weight, but. If we could, we'd say, look on the scale, minus it by 40. I think it's because I watch the whole season in a day, but everyone's really sad. Like, it's too depressing for me to watch because they're, whether it's, whether they're doing well, they're like, this is really sad. And then if they're not doing well, they're like, this is really sad. Okay. They're all, they're all so stressed and scared of missing, like, one pompom routine. and they're all overqualified.

They're all overqualified for what this gig is paying them, obviously. I kind of want someone to say to the, you know how it's the two coaches and then the head woman? Have you met the head woman? She's brown hair, blue eyes. Yes. She's like in charge of Judy and the other lady. She's Jerry Jones's daughter.

She's scary as fuck, okay? There's something really, really terrifying about her. And I don't know what it, is. It's rich people shit. And I think it's her blue eyes. Like that's another realm that I've never been to. She's such a billionaire that she doesn't understand like anything where the head, the other head lady was like, how do we tell this girl who's good enough that she can't make the team for no reason? And she goes, we have 36 girls. Yeah. Tell her 36. It's easy. She's literally like, you're ugly. You're not making the team.

You're hideous. And, okay, look, I love a makeover. Like, I truly, I love a makeover scene. I love, I'd love to give someone a makeover. Like, I watch, even like watching Love Island, like, the girls are gorgeous. But I'm like, ooh, what if we, like, took your eyelashes off, cut your hair? And like, like, I'm always thinking, like, what are random things? Because that's my hobby.

And not in, like, a judgmental mean way. Aesthetics are your passion. Yeah, I'm just like, what if you wear a brunette? The way they do the makeovers, I'm sorry, but if you put me in that room in Dallas, Texas, I don't know if it's because it's like East Coast, but in 10 minutes, I'm lighting those bitches up. Like, I'm like, who the fuck do you think you are? Like, and I don't know if it's because the girls are like young 20s and they feel like these women are like authority and they have to respect them. but like, fuck.

There are so many times where I'm watching the show where I'd be like, and fuck you. Paige, to this day, I'll sit down and make a bar, so do my makeup and just do some crazy shit and I'll say thank you and leave. Like, I get it. I get it. I bleached my own hair. I was like, no, that was me. Yeah, but okay, but if you want to do something, like that's autonomy. Yeah, do whatever you want.

But if I have. Well, they do it before they let them in. Yeah. Maybe that girl, Dyerhaer Brown and then told her she's not on the team. Yeah, like, what the fuck is that? I think that is so rude. The girls from the 70s are so iconic because the team was actually the best in the 70s. So, like, they made them famous.

So it is cool to see those women. But then I hate when people say, and they do this a lot on the show, it's very cultish. They go, these are the best years of your life. And they purposely tell that to them over and over again. that these girls feel lucky and these girls are going to look back and be like, oh, that was my most insecure, scariest time. And by the way, stop saying these are the best. College is not the best years of your life. Your 20s are not the best years of your life. Anyone who says that to you is lying. I hated college. You know what the best years of your life are this moment right now.

Yeah, whenever you can choose to live in. Literally. But yeah, those women are scary as fuck. They're super scary. I do watch a lot of things. and get inspired, like I'll watch a music documentary of like a rock star and I'll be like, I want to be a rock star. Or I'll watch like a documentary of like a softball pitcher and I'll be like I want to be a softball pitcher one day. Not one ounce of me wanted to be a cheerleader watching that. Me watching it, I'm like, oh, I love the outfits.

I love like I, but I love really girly stuff like that. But what I don't like, well, I don't like a, I don't like a, I don't like a, I don't like. being managed. You can't tell me what to goddamn do. So I don't know if I could actually be like on an organized sports team as an adult. My biggest thing, and I don't know what this says about me, but I hate being part of like a stream of salmon. Does that make sense? You hate going with the crowd. Yeah. Like I hate being like you've made it to be a non-descript, beautiful girl in the proud of beautiful girls and you all just are like one beautiful girl now like I love individuality and being myself and expressing myself and I feel like they're trying to make you be something that none

of them actually are like all these girls are different and beautiful in their own ways and they're all trying to be these caricatures I just love being my own person so that was driving me crazy that's like you have to fit in with what everyone's doing were the same thing look the same be the same You know what I'd love? I'd love this exact show for the Rockettes because I'd love to know, I would say it's very, I'd say it's probably same ages, same, I think they have to try out every single year. I'd love to know, also professional dancers, I'd love to know how they get treated it being in New York City versus Dallas, Texas.

Well, some of the Dallas, Texas girls were talking about how they could try to be a racquet because they have the skills. What do you think of Victoria? Oh, sweet girl. I feel really bad for her. So for people don't know, Victoria, basically her whole life was about becoming a Dallas cheerleader. She's like sitting in her room with like all these Dallas cheerleader merchandise and stuff.

I think the coaches were disgusting to her. I think they were so mean to her. Well, she also was like, I feel like I don't fit in. None of the coaches like want me to do well. And in our, this is, it kind of reminded me of tennis a little where I was like, this has been my dream my whole life. But it got to a point where I was like, every sign is telling me to stop. And I have to stop blindly chasing this dream. So I really empathize with her.

Yeah. Where I was like, you're going to learn from this fucked up experience. But like, she's not where she's meant to be. And that's why everything was just like going wrong for her. I think she goes and becomes a racquet. Fuck yeah. You know how they say that like men don't respect women that they don't find attractive? Yes.

Neither do older women in Texas. Oh. Over 40, they actually feel the same one. Teresa, who's adorable, they were like, oh, we met your boyfriend. He's not what we thought he would be. And she's like, what do you mean? And they go, we thought you'd be with like a football player or something. And she's like, no, he doesn't play football.

And they're like, okay. And if someone ever fucking said that to my face. You're so jacked up right now. I've been hanging with my dad for too long, really. It's been like five days and I'm like, what'd you say? You go, and I think it was disgusting. No, it was despicable is what it is because like I'm not in like an authority. I'm not like the authority of anyone.

Like I'm not, I mean, I guess I am people's boss, but I don't ever see it like that. So like I don't know how you can be in charge of a group of people regardless of what your job is, but especially be in charge of a group of women who are significant. That would be like me running a fourth grade team. No, this is exactly what it is. Sophia, can I talk to you for a second? I am the coach of a fifth grade cheerleading team and I'm going to be mean to those bitches.

No. Uh, no. because I could have birthed them. Well, with age comes wiseness. Like there were so many moments where I feel like she could have given like wise advice. No, they're mean. She was just like, get out of here. Maybe next year.

Maybe next year, girl. God bless. Bless her heart. And the girls are always in the room. Like the coaches are being so mean to them. And the girls are always in the room like, thank you so much. One of the rules is you have to say yes, ma'am. And if they don't, they go, would you?

And she goes, yes, ma'am. But also what's crazy? is these girls, like on game day, they're working from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Yeah, right. They're getting up at like five. Crazy, like longer than the football players.

These girls are working. And they were like, why don't you want $2 an hour? They're like, that's not enough for you? Well, at the end, they had the girls had to say, like, if they want to come back and I'm like, can they afford to? The one girl's like, I need a hip replacement. Also, like, I feel like they can cut the splits. Like if every girl is like, hey, my femur bone is hurt.

Like, it's on its last leg. They have this dance called Thunderstruck, which is like what they're known for. Yeah. No, it's a phenomenal dance. It's a phenomenal dance, but it turns out it's like the hardest dance to do. And I'm like, we could, no one would notice if we cut 30 seconds. Why isn't anyone bringing up the fact that they do the same dance every single year? You guys don't want to switch it up ever?

Like I don't like the same thing like you know wonder some people are so good at it They've been doing it for 20 years like and also when they kept saying that the splits are like ruining their body even though I was jealous I couldn't do it I was like I couldn't watch it I was like these girls are losing I can't watch them split there because they do a jump It was like a drag queen move they're doing like death drops in this season though there's one girl that's like no my doctor said if I do another And the coaches are like, well, what are you going to do? And she's like, I'm going to ice it, ma'am. Don't worry. I'm going to ice it.

I'm like, you need to go to Alaska. You need more ice than what's in your refrigerator in Texas. She's like, someone get Kenzie from Love Island. She'll do the splits. It's just such a, it's just a freaking weird show. Are season two and three better or different? Season three was real weird. Season three was not as good as season one and two.

There is just a sadness. to do it all though like it's really starting also i am sad so that could have been it there's a certain dark energy that i can't put my finger on it's real dark wait can i get you mad about something fuck yeah so apparently they're putting tons of money into like trying to secure male baldness and it's like millions of dollars more than any research they've done for endometriosis the like Discrampancy between the money going towards male baldness versus endometriosis studies is like insane. You're balding because God believes in karma. So either deal with it or go pay 30 grand to get a hair transplant.

I knew I was going to get you going. Do you know it takes 10 years to even get diagnosed with endometriosis? Because no one cares about it. And we don't need to diagnose you, motherfucker. with male pattern baldness. We know when you're ugly. Put a hat on. Also, I would argue that whoever's voting for where the money goes in the Senate or the state

or the whatever, I bet those men don't know what endometriosis is. I have so many exes that are balding. And let me tell you, the joy that it fucking brings me is on. There's no greater joy. I have at least four. And I just got notified that one of my exes got a hair replacement or whatever. Yeah, as they should. And, um, you guys, karma's real karma works.

That's, it's one thing we know for sure on this pod. Did I talk about how I got stuck in a gay pride? Like you walked in the middle of it? Like, I was like, let me set the scene. Yeah. So I'm in Toronto and they told me where to get my, um, spray tan and I had to physically go somewhere. And I was like, I'm picking the best place because I'm scared of, what's recently happened to me i did all this is the place to go so it's like a 50-minute walk but like a

six-minute uber and of course i was like fucking around the bathroom when i was running late so i was like fuck it all uber 10 minutes in i realized this uber we're still in traffic and it's one of those where like if you're late by 10 minutes they cancel the call so i start freaking out you're not very canadian of them no i know so i called them and i'm like hey just stuck in traffic but it says soon the guys like all the roads are closed all the toronto roads are closed i'm like okay why is this happening he's like i don't know and i'm like i'll just get out and figure this out so i get out and i start going on the street i'm supposed to be on that was closed next me you know middle of the pride parade i'm literally dancing to ariana grande rain on me rain rain rain rain rain rain on me wait wait what's it

called when you're the like you're the head of the parade what is that called like the grand What is that called? No, I'm Googling it. That's some, that's called something. I was like, let's keep going faster, faster. I'm running late to my tan appointment, which I feel like was like people understood. But I'm literally getting through the Pride parade while there was a drag queen at one point.

I was like, yes, queen, yes, queen. And I had the best time on Toronto Pride. A grand marshal. I knew something. I was the Grand Marshal of Toronto Gay Pride. Also, let's be honest, completely lesbian passing. Everyone was like, finally. I was wearing what I'm wearing right now, big t-shirt and just love in life.

And when I got in, I was like, sorry, I was in the pride parade. Sorry, I'm late. And she was like, that's okay. Are you interested in anything World Cup related? Like, have you watched any games or you don't care? Because sometimes, because you're a sports girlie really at heart. So sometimes you will dabble in other, like, genres and where I, like, I'm not, like, I'm not, like, turning on a soccer game, you know.

You know, it's funny because Des is European. Yeah. So he likes soccer. Something about it. I haven't wrapped my head around it. Yeah, you can't get into it. I can't get into it because, yeah, I haven't, no. I've also been, like, going through it, so I haven't been able to, but also soccer, I have

trouble watching. One thing I think about a lot with soccer players is because the field is big and they're running the whole time. How do they not shit themselves? You know, it is. How are marathon runners not shitting themselves? I think they are. Are they? They are.

Because like if you go dog sledding, the dog shit themselves because they're running so much. As a marathon runner now. Yeah. I do have to say you won't have to shit and the second you get on that treadmill, you're like, okay, after I put my purse down, set up my iPhone, I almost said iPad, iPhone, put my Gatorade down. Now I suddenly have to shit myself because my body's like, I have to run. But no, when you're like in the adrenaline, it's like when you're on stage, you get, it holds in unless you're going through like a real stomach situation. But with soccer with me, I don't know what they're trying to do.

So I can't tell when someone's doing something good or bad because no one's getting it in the goal. So it just like looks like people are kicking it to each other. but again, I know I'm being a stupid American when I say that. I just like anytime I watch a sport, I think of like, okay, in what way would I get hurt? And I'm like, someone would kick my shin and that's it. I'm done. Well, apparently it has as many, okay, that's a made-up stat, but like there's a lot of concussions because they all jump and try to head the ball. So everyone's jumping and then like headbutting each other and just cracking each other's skulls.

Wow. No, that's not good. which leads us to women in STEM of the week. Hell yeah. There's a girl who, I don't know what happened, but she lost her license. Okay. Okay. And it could have been a lot of things.

Could have been how many things we don't judge. But she's in college and like has to get to class. So she's driving around. So she lost it within four years of having it, essentially. Not great. Not great. But to get to class now, she's driving around in a bar. Barbie Jeep and like dead serious like on campus and that's innovation and that's just like smart why it's

no different than taking like a scooter or a bike it's just so funny because she looks like miserable going to class in her barbecue wait can you send me that video because I love that it's very you coded yeah I love that so much I'm almost like why didn't I think of that I feel like because you've been in Italy. I've had to, and I'm just like scrolling my phone. I have so many random news stories for us. Have you heard of the cake pop pop pop pop? K-pop. Cake pop. Cake. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry. I can't really speak right now. Sorry. Sorry. It's a cake, cake situation. True. Cake pop drama. Okay. Basically a girl makes cake pops. Okay. And it's a real art.

form like people really follow these like a cake pop makers like a starbucks cake pop yeah so they make it at home and they basically like make the cake with a cake batter like that you buy like betty crocker and then it's kind of fun to watch them dip it into different things and it's like different colors they do tie-dye whatever i actually got kind of into it for a second yeah women and so one of the women is like hey i'm really annoyed this woman stole my my recipe for fruity pebbles cake pops post crying and she's like, I didn't steal your recipe. I don't know your recipe. You don't post your recipe. She's like, it's Fruity Pebbles and Betty Crocker. Like, what recipe are you talking about?

Everyone gets mad at the first girl and the first girl's like has to quit cake popping because her business is now canceled. Because she accused the other girl of stealing her cake pop recipe and that made that girl cry. We've really lost the plot. This is why the Patriarchy is winning. guys. Because we're getting caught up in cake pop situation. Wait, I saw that the girl, there's a girl that tried to trademark hot girl walk. Everyone's talking about it now. Like, girls need to stop claiming general things. I just feel like with the internet, everyone thinks they're like a lawyer and a doctor. And I think like the first, one of the biggest things about like being mature and self-aware is admitting when you don't know something and you're not an authority on it and being like honest being like

I don't know that or like I wouldn't well how would I know but the internet everyone is like an authority like well that's the problem some of them are getting bad advice like this one girl said a lawyer told her like it was your recipe you're allowed to fight for this but these lawyers don't understand like nuance and like culture that like okay maybe you can't trademark a common phrase Just and also, if anything, Megan the Stallion started hot girl, whatever. So how would you even? Well, it's like us trying to trademark giggle. That's like we didn't invent giggling.

Right. Like, well, also, it's just like, I guess, people having people in their ear trying to make money and using the legal system. And back then, I think all this stuff used to happen. Like back then, everyone's suing everyone. but nowadays you can kind of it can go viral online actually i think paris hilton trademarked that's hot yeah i think it's a common thing that people make money off of i mean do you remember websites people are just like i own peanuts dot com and you're like okay you got you got it first you got to go somebody owned page desorbo dot com for a really long time and i used to try and figure out who it was

because I genuinely thought it was someone I knew just trying to like fuck with me. Because then, wait, remember when someone owned giggly squad.com and they wanted us to pay like thousands and thousands of dollars and we were like, fuck you, we'll do a hyphen. Yeah, that's why we have a hyphen. We were like, okay, we literally don't. It's crazy that you think we care about our brand. I'm like, last thing I'm doing is giving some random ass man money for my name. Keep it, babe.

Also, apparently someone, yeah, did at Gigley Squad on Twitter and they, and they were like you have to buy it from us and we're like that's hilarious you think we use twitter i'm like i haven't gone on twitter since 2006 have a great time you can keep our twitter you can keep it babe there's someone on facebook like pretending to be me and so many people have dm'd me about it like hey like just want to let you know and i'm like who the fuck is on facebook i'm like i don't give a shit like mental health moment of the week i did see a ticot that was really helpful because as you guys know I'm not very good at processing my emotions. Sometimes I just turn it into jokes and then I cry about it alone after.

And I still, to this day, I'm like, what does it fucking mean to process an emotion? Like, I don't understand. Especially as an athlete where it's like, how do you feel? And you're like, good. I'm fine. I'm strong. So this woman said processing an emotion is when you feel an emotion, before you immediately try to fix it, fix it, call your mom.

try to make it feel better, eat something to soften the blow before you do anything. She basically was like sit in the emotion, just like don't do, and basically don't do anything. Because I was like, what is processing me? She's like, just let it, just feel it. And it's uncomfortable, whether it's hatred, anger, shame, envy, sadness, sit in it. And give it like a couple minutes and then do something because it trains your body to learn that it's safe for you to feel. So the next time that emotion comes up, you don't panic as much because your body has sat with it before and it didn't do anything crazy. Okay.

Well, I've never processed an emotion before. So that was enlightening now that I realize that. The second you feel about emotion, what do you do? You grab your guasha and you start your skincare routine. Yeah. Okay. I guess I actually immediately start yelling. But yeah, I should do that.

So I guess sitting. with it makes your body less impulsive to be scared of feeling and then once you can handle your feelings you're kind of fucking unstoppable you know that book um it's called like it i forget what it's called but it basically tells you if you're like every girl i feel like has read it i haven't read it but i feel like we should because i want to know what each of us are maybe that could be the second book you read where it's like you're either like anxious attachment oh yeah and then like i don't know what the other ones are, but I really want to know what I am because I know that whatever I am, it's something anxious.

Did not need a doctor to tell you. I read a whole book, darling, to tell you that. You know what? Maybe I do need just the DCC coaches to tell me what the really? What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe they're, maybe actually they have it right. Maybe they're just the bluntness is what. The truth is.

All I want is Judy to think I'm amazing. Like all I want is Judy to love me. After watching it, I was like, put me in front of Judy and I will say, how hot? I said the same thing for very different reasons. I said, you know what? Put me in that room right now. This is my impression of Judy watching me walk into the audition room. Wait, your screen is frozen, so I actually can't see you.

So it's like really annoying me. Is it? How long has it been frozen? Like five minutes. Okay, well this is how we're ending the episode Is my impression of me walking into audition room And Judy and the other one are there Oh, she's pear-shaped

Oh, she's pear-shaped Oh, that's not a pretty smile Oh no, she did Oh, is she a redhead? I don't think a natural one Oh no, why does it look like she's crying Every time she smiles Okay, oh

I think her fingers are just as stubby as her legs And I don't think I say the meanest things in the nicest tone. I'm like, wait, that's really mean. Her mom never taught her how to use a razor on her thigh. I will say some of the meanest people I've ever met in my whole life. I'm really sorry, but have been Southern. Like, they just have been where I'm like, oh my God, I've dealt with.

Like, I've had a girl yell in my face before and she wasn't even this mean. This is scary. Yeah. Southern ladies will speak like this and just rip you a new one. Yeah, because there's something very demonic about that they don't change their tone and it's like a nice tone and it's like, that's the most evil thing I've ever heard. And I think it's something that like they're very vocal about being religious, but I'm like, okay, um, I don't think he'd approve of that.

Okay. That's, okay. Anyway. Anyway, you guys have the best weekend ever. We love you so much. Thank you for giggling with us. And we'll talk to y'all later. Bye.