Giggly Squad - Giggling about dark arts, dissociating, and cupcakes

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

Hannah has an exciting announcement and Paige coined our new favorite phrase. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm. They make sleep easy www.mattressfirm.comshop summer merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You know, we're making art here. Good morning. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Good morning, my Galapagos Island gigglers. Someone literally was like, Hannah has one job to come up with G-words, and she literally can't

anybody. Ever, ever. You would think you'd Google something. Sorry I don't use A-E-E-S-W-W-W-W-W-S. guy this is sorry i'm not chat gbting it this is just from the noggin and it doesn't always work honestly in the today's day and age we we want that more i just saw on the internet wait i just saw it was either like complex or like world star posted it but like china is China is doing like olympics with robots right now no no and like they're not doing well no use the men

There's plenty of men that could go fight right now. It's like low-key sad because the robots will just like fall and like be broken. Well, especially because you hate when inanimate objects get hurt. Well, I'm like, but also robots freak me out. So I have a weird relationship with them as an object because I'm like, no. Yeah, because during our like prime brain forming years, there were like multiple movies like I robot. and other stuff that came out. And we were just like, we see the future.

Don't need be involved in that. Want to know something weird that like no one else is going to get but you. But whatever this. Whatever the sorry podcast. I'm on the wrong side in the Zoom and I don't like it. Wait, me too. How do we switch it? I don't think you can.

I think because I don't know. Whoever was on first, I think. I think then like changed our order. When you said like no one else is going to get this but you, I was like, well, what about the Gicklerers? They understand everything. And then you say a niche specific tech thing that we have on Zoom. And I'm like, yeah, you're right.

Maybe the audio podcast listeners aren't going to appreciate that. But thank you for bringing it up. I just wanted to know if you have the same thinking pattern as I do. I know for sure because I keep looking left and you're not there. You're always to my right. I have to make housekeeping announcement. Okay. As you guys know, the reason my Masseter Massacre was so stressful was because I had booked my first ever, like, hosting gig.

And I couldn't speak about it. So I was, like, fighting for my life, trying to express myself. You literally couldn't speak about it. I couldn't speak. And then I couldn't smile. I was trapped in my own body and face. But finally, they're letting me give a little tea. Your mouth is really good right now.

I thought it was good. And then I hosted the cat event. And I looked at the photos after and I was like, oh, no, I'm still a freak. Wow. Right when you say cat, mine came out from under the bed. Because she knows. Yeah. She knows.

Oh, Hannah had an event and didn't. Sorry, Daphne. You can't be the face of every campaign relating to cats. Take a day off. She's calling her agent right now. She's like, there was a cat cafe in West Hampton and no one contact in my team. She's like, I looked at the picture. Not one cat had blue eyes.

So, like, what are we doing? here um so anyway early 2027 mark your calendars yes i'm hosting a dating reality show called making love sexual entering my matchmaker era the marketing team had no idea what they were in for when they were like who should be cast oh hannah burner hannah berner seems like a good host for the show and they're like great she's got a podcast you can talk about it on her podcast never did they think that their show would be getting watched based on hannah's botch plastic surgery when i tell you i can't move my mouth until maybe episode six slightly i mean the first and let me tell you the team behind this show is the team behind love is blind married at first sight like these are the real deal like i'm not

doing a dating reality show unless it's like the crim of the cream. Is that the, is that the? Crem d'A Crem. You combined crem d'a creme with cream of the crop because. You get me. So these people were like really, like they knew what they were doing. They knew how to do a hit show. And I was sitting in my trailer and I'm like, I'm going to ruin everyone's day.

Like I just was scared I was getting fired. So the good news is I didn't get fired. But what I loved about the show is it actually really reminded me. of you and your dating style. Because do you remember when we first met, I think you talked about this on TV too. You had your like insane fucking list. You're like, I want a guy who makes me pancakes in the waynie.

I still have it. Do you still have it? Of course. Do you check it? Of course. Do you update it? Absolutely. Do you take stuff out?

Yep. Like, I've grown older. I've had different accommodations. Like, there are certain things where I was like, wow, I don't need a man for that. take it out yeah the the becoming a professional plumber really helped with a lot of those things handy around the house interesting so the show is called making love and it's this it's this really fun concept i'm obsessed with it where what if you could create your fantasy partner so they basically had people come in with a list whatever they wanted it's their fantasy and then they went out and found

that person to see if they actually would fall in love. If you found someone who checked every box on your list. But then also that fantasy person that comes in gets to create their own fantasy person. So it was fucking crazy. Once everyone comes in and they're like, that's your perfect person. That's what you've been waiting for. Is this going to be the love of your life now? And you could meet your perfect person and be like, I hate this person.

Do you know many times on a dating app? I'm like, that's my perfect person. and then like you meet them and you're like, why am I creeped out? Why are his eyes like that? Or like when you meet a really hot guy and then you like start talking to him and then like after 30 minutes or like a year, you're like I think you're hideous. Like how many men do you know that people find so hot that you're like, like you would vomit? I just, wait, no, I actually.

I know who you're thinking of and actually I can't. well you're like me where once we move on we move on yeah well no you've dabbled in the past before well look it my dabbling in the dark arts is different in turn i've moved on wait you guys page just coined when you hook up with your ex it's called dabbling in the dark arts use it move forward with it do what you need with it that eight that was so angel somewhere just like i've taught her Well, like I'm over it. I'm just trying to like ruin your life a little more. You actually do like revenge a little more than me.

I would say a lot. I called my mom a week ago and I said this verbatine. I need more revenge because I think you've had enough. But I also think that you can be less emotional than me in relationships. Like you know how to like turn off for evil. Like when you have a purpose, you can, like, detach. You're good at detaching. Right at detaching.

You're really good at disassociating. These are things that we could talk to someone about, but that's kitty. This is a kitty game to sit up. The video listeners are getting so much good stuff. When your cat decides to come up to you and sit on you, like, I'm sorry, you're a millionaire. Like, that is, I'm the richest woman in the world right now. We talk about cats every episode, but, like, I don't like, I don't mind people.

You know how many people came to my cat cafe and they were like, I don't like cats? And then within three minutes, they're like, wait, that's cute as fuck. I'm like, okay, no, no, they just didn't know. Like, they don't know. They just hear of cats through people who talk shit about cats. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm meeting a friend and you've only learned about that friend through people who don't fuck with that friend.

Of course you're not going to like that friend. Okay, but showing up to a cat cafe and verbalize, that you don't like cats is if I walked into an AA meeting and offered everyone a cocktail. Non-cat people like really strongly identify against cats. So they like they like have to say it. They're like, I have a dog. Like they have to. But do you know what I realized? This is why we love cats. Cats are that fucking girl. People who've never even been in the same room as them hate them. Like everyone's out here hating you and you've never even. met a cat and you hate them and you're talking shit about cats and you literally use the h word you

hate a cat that takes star power it really does it really does star power and then they spend five minutes in the room with them and they're like they're actually like really really nice he's a little girl so anyway i also decided i wanted to do this because i obviously have taken a break from reality and i wanted to wait for like the perfect opportunity to get involved as a host being in full control minus my emotions and smile. And I love love. I am a romantic. I love love.

But I was really bad with height. I'm not going to, I've been, I'm bad with the height stuff. While you're hosting? When I was dating. Oh, I thought like you as the host, you were like, okay, I would never pick you. You're like, oh, it's a short one. We weren't expecting that. Okay, it's very interesting to go from reality TV to them like hosting.

reality TV. Yeah. Like when you were filming, did you have your own inner thoughts about people that like obviously you're not saying because you're the objective one there? You're like the news reporter. You can't have a side. No, I was fully had sides. I was crying.

But it's part of my job to like by the end I felt connected to everyone in a certain way because you guys know how I speak to men. Some of these men I whipped into shape. Like from the very beginning, some guy was like trying to be funny, chatty chat. I put, I said, that's not how we're doing it in this house. I felt like the substitute teacher who was like, I don't know who we've been talking to previously this year, but I don't fuck with this shit. And then by the end, like, once you get them to like like like like, like they open up. And that was like the most fun part.

Like I had so much fun making them laugh. But then like I saw some of these people like, find love. I saw some of these people get their fucking heart shattered on TV. And there's moments, you know, when you're a host, like you're standing there. They're changing positions with cameras and they make eye contact with me. Like I'm their like big sister. And I was like, I gave them like thumbs up. Like you're doing great.

Like, like trust yourself. Like I don't know. I just, it was a little healing for me to be back in that place and see people on reality TV. But a dating competition is so different than like a Bravo show. I don't think the gigglers know this one thing about you. I'm scared. Hannah gets like really upset if you're really hot and you like say that you have having trouble dated because you're like I don't get it.

When you see a really hot person and they are like, I can't find someone. I haven't dated. I'm like bro, you could date anyone you want, girl and guy. So it makes me think that like there's stuff they haven't worked on internally. You guys, we all know those really hot people who were like 43 and they're like, I don't know. I just haven't ever found someone. I'm like, I don't trust that. Yeah.

And it really annoys me. But I think what's so cool about this show is a lot of people are like, well, I haven't met my dream person. They're like, okay, here it is. Here's your dream person. We looked all over America and we fucking found that person plus more and better. Can you make them, can you actually, is that your, can you fall in love? them and it made people question like what they thought they wanted and I got to kind of challenge people's beliefs and be like so you said you wanted a guy like this but he's like this does that mean

you're not going to give him a chance like if he has a slightly different um spiritual belief or if he's a different nationality than you thought like national why does it midwest nationality sometimes you do go like straight wisconsin you know it was a time it was a time in my past that I Yeah, like, okay, if I looked up my list right now, I actually, if I looked up my list, let's see, went like the last time. I have a list of my phone that says, Dear Page. You're adorable. And I knew that, like, if this one paper,

it would have been script with a heart, dear page. Sometimes for manifestation, I write a letter to myself that congratulates me for things that I haven't accomplished yet but that's how I manifest okay 2020 I haven't looked at it since 24 wait this is huge I'm set oh she's a lot give us some of the good ones um give us the most outlandish it's okay if I make more money I just don't want him to be jealous of it well that's huge for you like sports not controlling understands my anxiety that's really huge for me. Wait, that's really good.

I don't think you're like, can't say that one. Can't say that one. I just wrote, deals with like house stuff. And that's so valid. No, but like one thing I'll say that like is on here that I never had in my 20s is like of good character. Like I feel like once you hit your 30s,

there's certain things that like men will have done in relationships that aren't even like that bad. you're just like, oh, okay, that are truly non-negotiables once you're in your 30s. Like, if you lie to me about any, even the, what you had for breakfast that morning, get the fuck out. I can't do it. Lying is probably like my number one thing. We're in my 20s, I feel like I'd be like, oh, well, maybe like he was embarrassed

and he didn't want to say this or like, maybe I got it wrong. Maybe he really did go. Now I'm like, you're a fucking liar. Do you know what your 20s is too? And I'd be so fucking real. It's like you want to see who will pick you. Like you're like what quality of guy will can I get to pick me and like don't be pick me. Don't be pick me. Your 20s is like what you're like who am I and what kind of guy am I going to be like with? And then once they pick you then you realize oh fuck I have to have a relationship with them. And then you've been picked by a guy you thought you wanted to pick you. This is actually such an important thing to happen in your 20s. I had that guy. Like everything on the list I got.

And we were in like the perfect looking relationship. And then I was, I couldn't eat and I was having panic attacks in the shower because everything on the list was correct. And I still wasn't happy. Yeah. And then I realized, oh, the perfect person. is the one that when you're with them, your cortisol levels aren't spiking. You guys are laughing together.

He believes in you. He's your, like those are the things, not a guy who doesn't cheat. Right. Right. Right. I used to think that you had to like accept the lesser of the evils. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I used to be like, I used to date guys and say, okay, but he'll never cheat on me. Yeah. And I remember I did. one guy and I was like, but I feel like he'd make like a good husband and he'll like never cheat on me. And you were like, you can't stand the sight of him. It's also, but it's not your fault. It's based on your past trauma to be like, this is my biggest fear. I need to make sure it doesn't

happen. When love is like a lot more deeper than that, but also simpler. Like I always say a relationship is a conversation that goes on for years. Who do you want to keep having a conversation with? Oh my God, Hannah. You. I know. No, but we, and we're speaking from a place of like, we both do have parents that aren't divorced, like, which is kind of crazy in this day and age. It actually is. One thing that I've heard from both of our parents' relationships is that they like each other. Yeah. They like, in the mornings, they're, like, talking to each other.

Like, parents talking to each other in the morning is so fucking cute. People get really mad about, really mad at me about this. and really just like ex-boyfriends that I've said this to. I 110% truly and fully believe, and I don't care what anyone else's rebuttal is that the man has to like you way more than you like him. And I think both of our moms are with men that would die without them and like them way more.

I agree with that to the point that like, if you ever feel like you're forcing it with a guy, if you ever feel like you have to convince a guy to like you, move on, move on, move on. So making love is going to be on Paramount Plus in early 2027, and I think the show is going to be game-changing epic and just challenges all your beliefs of like,

if you could create your perfect person, your fantasy person, would you actually fall in love? I'm so excited to see our looks. Because we're women in STEM, it's important to be experts at a lot of things. and one of the things we are experts in is sleep. Dare I say I'm an expert in the entire bedtime night routine. Dare you say, yes.

I've maximized my skin routine, my hair masking. I'm really getting into bed mode an hour before I'm in the bed. Yeah, you don't just jump into bed. You're not a Neanderthal. Right, right. I have steps. Also, I've mastered the locations where I sleep. I'm like an infant.

I fall asleep in any moving vehicle. Yeah. Airport. Subway. car the second the vehicle moves and i can fall asleep you're like a baby yeah any position i could fall asleep like this yeah like this like this will your neck hurt after yes but and it's okay if your neck hurts after because all you have to do is go to a real woman in stem at mattress firm they have legitimate sleep experts the last time i went to go pick out a mattress i ended up talking to

a sleep expert which is the most fun date ever actually i ended up talking to a couple of sleep experts Oh, they pulled out everyone for you. Well, I went to different locations because I was just browsing. Yeah. They truly know how to maximize your sleep. And that's what you want because there are some nights where you're not going to get your full eight hours, but you need to be able to maximize your time in bed. Also, some people would call it lazy.

I would call sleep the most important part of your existence. If you don't sleep, you can't grow, you can't think, you can't talk. And as two women who have figured out how to create an entire business from our bed and yapping, I got 10 hours of sleep last night. I think we know. Did you? Yeah, it doesn't look like it, but I did. I got an adjustable base bed and I will truly never go back.

You know, in the mornings when you wake up and you're like, I do want to do my emails, but like it's Saturday morning I'm not getting up. I'm up. I as a sweater love the cooling technology at mattress firm because nothing will keep me up more at night than feeling hot. Cool mattress. Oh, I want it freezing. Dare we say your pillow is always cool on both sides.

And that's called science. And the real women in STEM are the actual scientists that are at mattress firm. Instead of you trying to figure it out yourself, they tell you exactly what you need or what you want. And one thing about us is we know what we don't know. And when I walk into there, I said, tell me what I need. Yeah. Go to mattress firm, talk to their sleep experts and get matched with your perfect mattress. Like a true woman in STEM.

The great sleep you deserve, visit mattress firm. They make sleep easy. www. www. www.matchersfirm.com. Anyway, you were at the track this weekend. I was. You know, I didn't take any pictures, not even of my outfit, and I wore a hat.

What kind of hat did you wear? Like a big black one. Oh. Yeah, it's the track. I go once a summer, honestly. And it wasn't that hot this year, which was good. But we go to like this. bar after and so like we're at the track for probably like I don't know from like two to five 30

and then we go to this bar from like usually like for two hours we get to the bar and like my family's like getting a cocktail and like we're seeing people that like we haven't seen in a while and I just get this overwhelming sense that I have to get the fuck out of there Well, yeah, you've been socializing for four hours. That's way past my limit. Your body started rejecting being out. Do you want to know what I think it was? And my mom literally got so mad at me.

Like, once we got home, she was like, you're so dramatic. And like, honestly, I'm going. I love what Kim puts you in your place. Sometimes when I'm in places or situations that I have been in a hundred times, but did, had very different actions. I like revert back. Like, okay, where we go, I've gone to that bar

since I was in a senior in high school like after the track. I've drank at this bar for 10 years. So sometimes I feel like when I'm there, I think back to like things I've done there. Yeah. I got to get out of here because someone's going to be like,

remember a couple of years ago when you're on the top of the table? Like I'm like, I can't be here anymore. It's bringing back. It's too close to your past. No, it's too close. that you've like, it's like when you're walking through New York City and you're like, I think I cried on that block.

One of my friends was there and he said something to me and I was, I had like a moment where I like went back in time and I was like, I have to go. But there is also something so powerful to be like, I'm not that girl. Like I used to be, I'm not her and I can sit here. But yet you're also, you see all those people from before. You kind of get afraid you're getting sucked back into like the past. It wasn't even like bad stuff. it was more like oh my god i can't believe i used to drink the amount i used to drink and like party

and go out and be out for hours and love it and now i'm like if i don't get in the car with ac blasting on me i'm gonna throw up well the horse world is its own yeah its own culture like horse girls are real but but it's crazy everyone says horse girls but then it's only men on the track yeah make that make sense there's like one woman from all that I think is like a really big horse rate. Yeah, but all the men are like who are actually like on the horses are literally 411 and they had to like Oh, the jockeys. Find these specific men who are of light stature.

I'm like, just find a woman. If you need a five to. It's interesting that there's not more women, but there's actually I think like a couple years ago, maybe even longer. I might even be going back 10 years. There was a documentary on HBO about. horse jockeys and they live a really tough life like no i bet there's something weird about it it's like how women love cooking but only men are chefs it's like how women love fashion but the top fashion

designers are men i'm looking into it i'm trying to figure it out i'm crossing my eyes dot in my tees okay wait i'm pissed off can i talk about something and i don't like i felt it brewing i'm jacked up this morning put it in the book have you seen the advertisement going around for Calloway Golf. It's going to really upset you. Yeah. I'm actually going to cry right now. It really upset me.

No, nothing upsets me more than physicality like that. If you haven't seen it, they pulled it already, but you can find the video. Calloway Golf did a ad. They had like a bunch of different social media ads. It wasn't like it was like a cool. commercial on TV, but it was basically on a golf course and it was a girl walking up to golf clubs and she was about to take one of the golf clubs out. The guy standing runs up, pushes her to the ground. She falls on the ground. Don't touch my driver. Don't touch my driver.

Now, this is the guys from Good Good, which is basically this golf YouTube where like guys watch other guys play golf. You're a loser. If you're a boyfriend or, or husband follows them or whatever. You have to tell them about this. Because it's so revolting. Now, the question is, everyone's wondering, is how did it get this far? Me and you have worked with brands before.

Sometimes you can't even make a slight little joke. And they're like, no. So this was approved by lawyers and creatives and heads of departments. So Callowain't Good Golf. put a guy pushing a girl saying don't touch my driver to the ground for anyone who says it's a joke for a joke to be funny it's supposed to be relatable so you're saying that's relatable pushing someone

and showing physical violence to a woman as as funny and silly of basically being like women are despondable objects and that my golf club is more more valuable than them that's not fucking funny also men are so funny also men are so fucking uptooth because I feel like the argument they would say is like if the rules were reversed and it was a girl pushing a guy down it's like right but we don't kill you like you guys are our number one predator so that's why it's not funny when it's you pushing us down because

you guys already do that in everyday life if you care about protecting women especially protecting women in sports and if you're a man that cares about masculinity and being high value the strongest thing you could do is protect women. Calloway is like a huge company. No, and... Wait, who owns Calloway? You're like, find the man. Eli Reeves Calloway Jr.

1984. I think that also the girl in the video is getting hate. Like, well, the girl said she wanted to do it. The girl's involved in it. Sorry, imagine being a girl with a room of... There's 10 men in the video. There's like...

And they're like, okay, this is what the video's going to be. and be funny, let's go. You think you want her to then stand up for herself in front of all these men and be like, I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's cool. We cannot start hate. I'm not about to start hating on this woman right now. So she can get fired? Let her at least get her back. Let's stay focus on the problem at hand, which is the fact, the bigger overarching picture. I do have to say, I have seen a lot of men speak out and be like, I used to follow good, good. And like, this is just. As soon as we are allowed to make choices on our own bodies, then I'll find it a joke. Like if I could, if I could go to any state and get an abortion, then I would say, cool, that's fine.

But since I can't, no. Also, women in the golf space, if you notice the biggest influencers in golf who are women have to be like, they're like overly sexualized and on a golf course, like you walk in, it's just good old boys. Like golf is so where men make deals on the course and where men have only men days. and like it disgusts me so much and by the way that's why I like being fucking good at golf because I like beating these losers

actually I really think the gigglers don't know that like old men are like obsessed with playing golf with you one time I called Hannah and I said what are you doing and she said oh I'm on the golf court or no I'm on the tennis court and I said with who

and she said like two 85 year old men you guys the work we do in feminism isn't always seen in the public eye, but I play older man sports, tennis and golf. So obviously the people are playing them is like, man between 50 and 80. And now to play with me, you have to go through my husband. No one has my direct contact. So it goes through Des, and then Des tells me all the men that want to compete with me throughout the week.

This is what I do during the summer. So then I say, who's made the cut? And then once they come, I ruin them. no mercy a lot of them like it it's like some weird thing yeah I bet and then they go back to their homes and some of these men

I think they start realizing women are people after after a lesson with me I need like I need the men to like just like realize that they aren't good athletes and they're not professional ones and just because

they all play golf together doesn't mean they're making business deals also how is masculinity you being like I want to hang out with my boys and play golf for six hours and I don't want a woman near me and if she tries to touch my stuff

I'm gonna push her like it's not funny there was like some guy who made a like a video at bar stool and he was like I'd rather like sit here and watch the game with you than like go have sex with my girlfriend like if that brings you and your boys closer together have at it but like we okay

you freak I just can't We're really hating men this episode. I had to speak up on this because you know the sports stuff pisses me off. Like the men treating women like they're these athletes and women don't belong in their space. Like Gigli Squad is about us being able to take up space anywhere we want. And I also want there's like this fucking divide between men and women that we have to like conquer because it's getting it's getting scary. No, I can't even go on TikTok.

like TikTok has like not been fun for like the past month. I'm like, okay. It's just think pieces of people trying to like take people down for no reason or like think pieces about really scary actual things that are going on. Yeah. No. And for Calloway to put out a domestic violence commercial in the year 2026 is I just think one of the craziest things.

But honestly, you know what's going to happen? Nothing. Nothing. Like nothing. If that was a female owned brand and they did something that was like so, they'd be done. They'd be done. Oh my God. And there's one thing where sometimes people do try to be funny and then you take something

out of context or like you're like, oh, at their heart they were trying to be funny and they just missed. This is not that. Yeah, you're a golf brand. No one expects you to be funny. If anything, we know everyone that works at your company is not funny. Like, you've actually just proved to us that you're extra not funny. Also, like, stick with golf.

Why do you think you could make, like, funny skits on the internet? Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system powering, like, half the places I go. Giggly Squad is a full business, believe it or not. Between podcasts, merch, touring, everything, it's a lot of moving parts. And Square helps business owners focus on the fun parts, which is what me and Hannah like to do. And not just Giggly Squad. Have you ever walked into a place and you're like, oh, this business seems really put together? You tap your card, it's instant, they already have your info, the receipt just appears.

Everything is seamless and you're like, wait, everything was so smooth. That's Square. And once you notice it, you'll see it everywhere. Coffee shops, boutiques, salons, which makes sense because Square basically runs everything, behind the scenes. It's not just payments. It's inventory, online orders, scheduling, team management reports. So instead of business owners juggling five different apps and trying to make them all talk to each other, Square has it handled. So whether you're just starting out your own business or you're growing and getting a little chaotic, you can take payment in person online or on the go. See what's actually selling, manage your team, even access your money faster with Square banking. It just makes

everything feel way more under control. And now that we're actually building brands, I realize how important it is that everything just works. The back end matters so much more than people would think. We may not always be the most organized, but Square keeps everything else under control. You don't need an IT team or a degree in accounting. Also, businesses using Square online earn 36% more revenue on average, which makes sense. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools. Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash giggly. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O-S-Gigley. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

Speaking of women in sports, I have to make a confession, I played Scrabble last week. Most last time you played Scrabble. You know, was never, huge fan of it. I'm sure that doesn't come as a shock, but I thought this game is stupid and for nerds. I don't over 15 years. Did you know that my nan is really good at Scrabble? Like she would have these Scrabble games and she would like call me after and be like, I won by 50 points.

Like scrub the floor with these bitches. Like, and she was good. She's doing the two letter words. Like she gets, like she's not fun to play with because you're like, okay, well, you're playing a different game than I am. Yeah. So I buy Scrabble because I'm bored this summer. Clearly.

And I was like, Des, let's play Scrabble. And he was like, no. And then Jeannie was around. So I was like, Jeannie, do you want to play Scrabble? And she's like, sure. I'm like, how fun and cute. She kicked my ass. Like, she was like, well, there was, but there was drama with it.

Well, she's a nurse. She's a very, very smart. She has a whole other vernacular that you don't even know about. you know no i know at one point i swear to god this is supposed to be our like sweet little game at night after a long day decompressing she puts a tile down she goes it's like taking candy from a baby she said it out loud she's like daniel watch the kids it's gonna be a long night for hannah it's supposed to be a blood bad but then there was drama because des comes out though didn't want to play he was like seeing what was going on and he was

she was pulling out the dictionary before she'd go to like look for words and he said that's a no-no. So then there was drama because we were like people it's like when this is not related but like when you play basketball, like no when you play beer pong like people have different rules depending on the state and depending on the college. So we didn't discuss before the scrabble what the rules were because I didn't know it was going to get some competitive. Right. Right. So some people out here say if you have. have to grab the dictionary and you're wrong with the word that you're looking for it that counts as a turn oh they're cutthroat in the hampton yeah they're cut throat and we weren't playing cutthroat

so i was letting her go through the dictionary we're having fun next you know i'm down by 50 points and then i was like you've tricked me you've tricked me and i at one point i was like this isn't fun anymore so i'm gonna i'm gonna go to sleep sorry kitty's rolling around the bed and like knocking everything over please kitty um um um that That's why I feel about Rummy Cub. Like there's like the 30. I've never played. We have to play.

I think we need to have a weekly Mahjong. But Mahjong, I fear, is too long for our attention span. So maybe it's a, is it Remy or Rummy Cube? I say Rummy Cub, but other people say Rummy Cube. But I'm like, there's no E. You're saying Remy or Rummy? I say Rummy. Got it.

Are you MMI? Got it. So I went to the track this weekend and then I did nothing. the rest of the weekend. Do you have an opinion on how you should put your significant other's name in their phone? Because I've been getting some backlash because my husband's name is Des Bishop, full government name. No, I do full government names. There might be a day where we don't know them.

Okay. And I'm not taking the extra time to go in and change their name in my phone from my sweetie to something else. No. My name in his phone is. burn with a heart, which I think I put in early on. That's cute. Yeah. I have like random weird superstitions.

Of course. Because I'm a freak. And one of mine is if I change your name in my phone from your first and last name to something or I add a heart, Don, relationships over. In high school, if I baked you cupcakes, my mom would say it was the kiss of death. because it'd be done like the next week something would happen and it'd be done wait how would you present the cupcakes to him it had nothing to do with the cupcakes it was just like it there it seemed to be that like there'd be a time where I'd start liking a boy or a guy in high school it was a boy and I would bake cupcakes and then like I did it in college and then one time even in my 20s I remember I was baking like a cake or cupcakes for someone I was maybe like 22 And I told my mom and she goes, oh, so you'll be broken up by next week.

And we're- Kim is so savage. Kim is so savage. Wait, so like when he's coming over, you're like, I made cupcakes. Sorry, I'm still not sure. No, like- You don't just make one cupcake. You make like 40 cupcakes. No, yeah, yeah.

You make like 12, like a batch of 12. Do you decorate them? Yeah, I decorated them. The last time this happened to me, I baked a cake. I was probably like, I don't know, like 24. I was seeing this guy for like, I don't know, we would like randomly hang out to each other, there was nothing serious.

He was really like a situation ship for like seven years, truly, is what he was. Honestly, that's not for the week. It's not for the week. It's so not for the week. You're so fucking strong. I was so strong through that. I baked him a cake and then I didn't talk to him for three years.

Do you think it has to do with your baking skills? I don't think it has to do with my baking at all. I think there's something in the universe that when I get to bake, they go, whoa, whoa, whoa. We've thrown something off. We have to get her back on track. So I don't, I don't bake for anything because they might wind up dead. I don't do it.

I baked scones once, which is crazy because I'm like, let's pick the hardest thing to bake. It's like so hard, I feel like. No, I know. But that's because I'm fucking delusional and crazy. It's like I was trying to paint a painting for. for this, for my cat cafe, because we wanted to auction it off. And I was like, yeah, I'll paint some painting.

Turns out, don't understand the difference between oil, acrylic. It's way more complicated to that. I knew that. I knew that someone was getting, gonna get fucked up there. It got real, and then I like tried something. It wasn't working. I quit. I got all frustrated. I almost flipped the table.

And then I ended up just doing Hanna's Cat Cafe in font. And I was like, let's call it a day. But I do think my delusion is overall a good thing. But I do find myself in situations where I'm like, We didn't need to do a da Vinci. I overshot this one. This is a quick one. Didn't think about this long enough.

Actually, my brother, who is a phenomenal baker, this weekend I requested the state cake of Maryland. Obsessed with you. Which, if you don't know what the state cake of Maryland is, I didn't know either until a couple nights ago on TikTok. It is between eight to 12 layers of vanilla cake. with chocolate frosting. I sent it to my brother.

I said I need eight to 12 layers of a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. It was. How long did I take him? I don't know how long I took him. He was baking for days. I was like, oh, do you just bake it and then cut it? And he goes, no page. I had to buy five different pans.

The man lost his job in the meantime. It has to be really thin. It was so good. Wait, can he be on the? like great British bakeoff. Oh my god. My brother is one of the best bakers. He'd be perfect for one of those shows, at least like a food network show. If you're a producer listening, put Gary on. No, he would also be so funny. He's so good at baking. He is really good at cooking too. He has like random specialties that he's really good at. Like anything buffalo chicken, I feel like he's really

good at. But he's made some of like the most insane things for me. Like sometimes I'll just be like, I'm craving, like, pistachio, but, like, chocolate cake. And he'll be like, okay. And, like, one night he made me a chocolate lava cake, but it was, like, pistachio butter came out of it. No, he needs to do one of those shows. I'll text Bobby Flea. Oh, my God. Imagine.

Also, I wanted to let you know, like, I'm becoming so page-coded and girly. What do you do? Well, Des was talking to his brother's. His brothers needs to get a new car. And they were like looking at cars and they were like showing the options. And I was like, why are car colors so fucking boring? Like we don't have one baby blue. Right.

Like these are the biggest car companies in the world. And all they have is like black, silver or like light silver and white. And I'm like no one threw in a coral. Which your go-to car color in your head? Like you're like, I have to get a car tomorrow. What are you getting? Black or white? Well, see, I like, oh, see, I like ugly.

Like, I want brown, which is why I'm hand-coated. Or, like, a, like, tan-ish, tan. Like, something off. But that's the thing. Why don't they have fond colors for cars? Whatever happened to a pattern? Like, no one has whimsy in the car industry. No one has whimsy.

No one has whimsy in the car industry. It's like, it's also, you want to know what? It's kind of like a little bit elitist because, like, oh, only a Lamborghini can be orange. Oh, interesting. Because also I'm like every fall we get new colors for the fall. And I'm like, we change our nails. We change our. I'm loving baby blue and brown right now.

Like put I get a pinstripe ranger over. A hot. Yeah. Whatever happened to a little like. Well, you can get them wrap. Here's one thing. My dad is very into cars. And Joe is very into cars.

So I know a lot about wrapping cars. Against my will. Um, who's, who's the Pimp My Ride guy? It's giving exhibit. Bring back Exhibit, who by the way loves cats. He's all over my feed with his cat. He's had a cat. He's had the same cat for like 20 years.

I also have, um, I do need some advice. Okay. Um, so for the U.S. Open, we're going to the U.S. Open. We're going to be there on the night of the 31st. See y'all there. Oh my God, kitty's so. Oh, I'm obsessed with a kitty recently. Flimsy and cute right now.

Cuddly. Um, I got. got asked to do a podcast. And it's Maria Sharpova's podcast. At the U.S. Open? Like, you do it there? We're doing a live pod. People can get tickets on...

Where? Sunday at a hotel. Oh, okay. In the city. Oh, okay. Sorry, I don't know why I pictured you, like, at... In the stands, do... Yeah, I'd be cute.

But this is my question, you guys. If you don't remember when I went to the Chelsea Handler show, she had this after party and ended up being like a ton of people. She has so many friends. And Mirosha Pova was standing there. And I started freaking out. And all my friends were like say hi to her. And I'm like, this isn't how we're supposed to meet.

This isn't how we're not like in a crowded loud room and me being like, like, oh my kid's not how we're supposed to meet. So now I'm going to meet her. And I just want advice on like, how did you act when you met Victoria back on? I actually was just going to. There's two people that I was like, what the fuck am I going to say? One was Victoria Beckham and one was Courtney Kardashian. And you want to know what?

I just went in with what came to my brain in that moment. And it was. Which is scary. And it's scary, but you want to know what? It's the most genuine. And I think to Courtney, I was like, oh my God. Like, I'm a huge fan of you. I've always loved you.

Like, you guys are the shit. Like, I'm obsessed with you guys. Like, there's nothing to say other than like, Hello. This is crazy for me. Also, if they like you, they like you. If they don't, they don't. And you can't control that in this life. I think one of the weirdest things is acting like you're not a fan of.

No, I would never do that. Someone. I like to say that first. I don't want to drool on them in the beginning and be like so, like, I don't want to scare them where they feel like I literally am going to wear their skin. But I like to give credit where credit is due. Yeah, I would just be like, oh my God, it's such an honor to meet you. With Serena Williams, they were both like the fashion icons of my childhood. Like Maria Sharpova's outfits.

I mean, she's six, too. She looks like a model, so it was like easy for her. But she was designing with Nike, the like most cute princess iconic looks. Amazing torso. That's, oh, I could connect with her over that. I'm trying to like connections. But I'm just, I'm just letting you guys know. I'm going to be so fucking nervous the whole time and everything I say in my head.

I'm going to be like, that was stupid. So come to the event. No, it's going to be fun and cute. Where's Anna Kornicova? She's living a peaceful life with her husband, Enrique Anglicius. And like, never papped, never anything. Isn't that so funny, like, certain celebrities that you're like, I haven't seen them in 10 years? It means that they're at peace, I think.

When I was younger, I'd always wonder, like, why would this pop star stop making music? Why are this actor? Why aren't they acting? And now I'm like, oh, they made money. And they're like, I'm good, babe. This is a job, and I want to break. Wait, who's the one rapper that I used to think about that all the time?

Lil Wayne? No, no, T-Pain. Like, for a while, I'd be like, where the fuck is T-Pain? And then I'm big- But now this man is ready. It's kind of like Anne Hathaway. How many movies has Anne Hathaway shot? It's actually making me really sad that she's doing so many movies because I know we're not going to see her now for 25 years.

I watched the beginning of Mother Mary last night. Well, I was going to text you because it's about a pop star and her former costume designer, stylist, who like helped create her career and she goes back to them to like make a dress for her. and I was like, this is about fashion page, I'm going to love it. But then there's some singing involved, and then I was like, I'm going to think twice before I text page about this.

And is it scary movie? It's not scary, but I was like 45 minutes in, and I was like, ah, it's not really going anywhere. You know what I did here recently is that Julie Andrews isn't in the next princess, they're making another Princess Diaries movie, and she's like declined.

She's also like. But this thing, I get it. But I feel like Anne Hathel making so many movies right now that are premiering and now she's obviously pregnant, she's going to have a baby. I really feel like we're not going to see it for a really long time and it's like, it's making me sad because I'm like, no, we just got her back. And now she's going to be gone.

Is this her first baby? This is her third. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is going to sound so millennial of me, but do you know what the fuck Chanty Buluga is? No. I've heard of it, but I don't, I couldn't place it. No. I actually feel like I'm like, okay, it's time for me to like get married and have a baby because the things are going right over my head on the internet. Like, I saw this video and I was like talking about Chantibuluga and it was someone being like, oh my God, it's such like millennial cringe, but it's for Gen Z. I have no idea what it is. It's basically just like a girl who like created like a crazy name.

and she just like does different skits as this person. You know you're getting older when you see something that's trending and you decide, don't care. I'm not going to look into it. Don't want to know. Don't want to know. I wish I felt that way about clavicular, but I can't. Final notes on stuff we're watching.

I watched Furious. And I have to apologize to the community. I did not know this was about human trafficking and abuse. I love all. I was like, don't like the script. literally about domestic violence yeah this is super super important do i think there's moments that i was like this kind of like the plot was kind of frustrating or like weird yes but sometimes these shows they're like you know how they keep you going and then the ending just like isn't well who you

think the villain is ultimately you're like well what i loved about this is the ending is it dumb or are there more episodes coming out? No, I think there's one more. Okay, so I like love where it's going. I hate these mystery type detectives stuff with them at the end. They just like say the most random shit. They're like, it's the guy we never met from the store.

And you're like, this is why I've been fucking wasting 24 hours on. So I really like where it's going. I also, also, why isn't the star girl not like popping off more? Amy Rossum? No, the other one who plays the serial killer. Oh. It's so funny because, like, I feel like maybe because she's depicted as, like, crazy. Like, people aren't, like.

No, look at the obsession girl. No, look at the Sterling Point girl. I'm like, why isn't the serial killer girl getting the same love? Yeah, that's so true. I did start Sterling Point. And I didn't get through the first episode, but I kind of, like, wasn't, I don't know where it's going. I was like, where it's going. I get it.

She's on an island. You want to know what? It's not a show for you. I also, I don't care about 17-male drama. I know you don't. I know you don't. The second, she's like, I'm 17, which she's 25. I was like, uh, but I did like her chemistry with the brother who is a nepo baby.

Yeah. Mark Ruffalo. Mark Ruffalo. He's the whole. I do appreciate a nepo baby who you're like, oh, they used their genetic talents well. Here's the thing for a nepo babies. Like, I don't get it. Do you know how many people I know just like growing up?

where it's like, oh, their dad's a doctor. And it's like, oh, yeah. So then, like, they became a doctor. Like, oh, yeah. Like, when it comes to, like, acting or celebrity, it's like, oh, my God. Are you kidding? It's like, okay. Well, the problem is that they'll be like, you just have to work hard and believe in

yourself and you can be a star. And people are like, okay. Like the actual Nepo baby. Yeah, like it's how they don't like to admit that, like, the only reason you got an audition was because your mom is a superstar. Right, which I would say that all day long. I'd be like, sucks that you don't have my mom. Also, but it's not their fault they have their mom.

It's their fault when they're like, if I worked really hard to get into it or they complain, like, it was really hard for me because this is my mom. And it's like, but they don't know anything else. Like they don't know what life is like where like no one gives a fuck. I think Matthew McConaughey said his son audition for. something and they and he didn't use mccaneh like the name last name yeah because he wants to try to like be not known just as his son but like the directors know do you want to know something that really pisses me on yeah when you have a leg up in the world and you're like i shan't use it no just

fucking use it like it makes me feel like when there's like kids that are like the like the children of like million and billionaires it's like mm-hmm start a charity like literally do anything but i do think of like the trauma of like and trauma is a strong word to use but like your whole life all people talk about let's say is your mom so like you have trouble find your own identity because your mom is so famous and i guess they get like anger or hatred they can turn to drugs and it's just like a whole it's an issue we can never imagine but like i mean my mom was the principal of the top public middle school in Brooklyn and I felt like she was a celebrity. Everyone knew who she was when we walked in any room and I loved it. I was like, yeah, that's my mom.

And I would love that. It's complicated with parents. I think that's a good note to end on. But in sports, for example, like, I watch like Cocoa Gough and I'm like, she's fucking amazing. Her mom was an incredible athlete too. Right. And like that's just genetics. It's in you. So I feel like if someone's like really creative or really mathematics, It makes sense that their offering would maybe have some of those traits. I don't get why people get so mad at humans for wanting to do a similar thing that their parents did. And our mental health moment of the week is something I saw online and I agree with is you will always come back to the joys and passions you had as a child. whatever you like to do as a kid is what you're meant to do

pushing men into the dirt and see that thank you for giggling with us we love you so much have an amazing amazing week we'll talk to you later bye