Giggly Squad - Giggling about diners, demotions, and shaved heads

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Paige is feeling nostalgic and Hannah made a mistake on stage.subscribe to our substack order our bookwatch our youtube series Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's DJ Dashhound and DJ Doxon here to party. Whenever I come to do the pod because you live on the Lower East Side, I am put together like a Lower East Side like outfits. You love dressing for the part. You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch. I wake up thinking I'm a Barbie. I'm like, what is my profession today?

What am I? What is my vibe? What is my outfit? You're a Lower East Side Cool Girl. Yeah. I love how you brought some gosses. I walked in and Chris was like, what's the pants situation? Never seen that before?

Is that a scarf? Is that a one piece? He was very interested. I was very curious. I feel like Chris has learned so, like Chris has been to Giggly Squad University and like you're, you've almost graduated. Not yet. Yeah, no, I don't think you ever graduate.

No, no. It's a multi-level marketing scheme. I've recently met people that know Chris like on their own accord. Oh, I didn't know he had other friends. I know. I didn't know he did things outside of this room. I thought he lived here at the whole. I thought he just waited for us with his legs swinging, like excited for us to come in.

They're going to come back next Monday. Side note, I was trying on sunglasses today because you just brought sunglasses and I put them on and they were like kind of big and Grace looks at me and goes, it's giving Kate plus eight. When I tell you, like, wait, my eye has been twitching all. Yeah, do you want to know why? Because you've been socializing all weekend. while I was alone in a hotel room

sending me copious voice messages and guess what I was sending them because I wanted the tea you're out in New York City running around I'm alone in a hotel room in Buffalo

which shout out to Buffalo but I'm clearly bored calling Boston who told you that who told you that no you guys my worst nightmare happened this week I was going through a lot this weekend alone and I'm sending

I got so many DMs Hannah just called all of us Boston but we're actually in Buffalo ha ha ha ha miss you Okay I wasn't gonna start with this But here we are I was peeing as one does You look so pretty today

I love when you give like old money I love when you wear designer You know we haven't been in the studio Whenever we're in the studio we want to make out We love each other And then on Zoom I'm like what do you want What do you want for me? So I'm peeing before my show

Now the way my show's work is I have an opener, Caroline Banoitz, who's amazing, and she does this song about dickpicks as her, like, finale song. Okay. So once the dickpick song goes, I know, like, okay, be ready. I haven't gotten a dick pick in years. That's why we're at peace. No, truly.

And then when people show me other their dickpicks that are being sent to them, that's, like, more abrasive. One time I had, this is so bad. One time I had a boyfriend and we literally broke up because he couldn't say. Stop sending dickpicks to other people. I thought you were going to say you. That got so much sadder. I was like, you really have to stop.

And he's like, but I'm not like saying anything. He's like, well, I don't know what you're talking about. He was like, he was like a classic, like, you didn't see that. And I'm like, I literally experienced it with my own body. And he was like, no, you didn't. He's like, I've never been on a date with them. I don't tell them. I like, what are you talking about?

You didn't see that? Share the art of my shaft. I heard guys use 0.5. now. Anyway, so I'm like peeing and there was a photographer there and we start yapping. Normally I'm like alone in my green room. Yeah. Because you're not there. And it's just my opener on stage and I'm like ready. So I'm yappy, yapping, yapping. Suddenly I hear the crowd start clapping and I go, oh my God, I'm on. But I haven't been like, like, I don't know, like ready mentally. So I'm like frantic. And I like, in these theaters, I had to like run down a

hallway. No one came and got you. No. Not all the theaters are that organized. Okay. It's really a lot. There's one thing happening there. It's you going on stage. What do you mean?

Because I think we weren't like that far. They're only there for you. But I also think they're like, Hannah, you have one reason to be here. So you should be ready to go on. The other one went. We don't know. I don't know what's going on. Don't look directly at me.

So I like sprint down the hallway. It wasn't that long of a hallway. Uh-huh. And I get on like perfect timing and I look at her and I can tell Caroline can't tell. Because to leave your opener without you coming on is like not okay. That's super embarrassing where they're like, okay, where is she? Once I got stuck in an elevator. But otherwise I'm really fucking good at being prepared for it because that's the only reason I was there.

Right. So I get on stage and I was not giving myself excuses but I was a little bit thrown. I was a little frantic. I was feeling anxious and I grabbed the mic and you hear the energy and I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize, okay, there's two ways ago about this. I could just hope that they didn't hear that. Yep. I could just continue on, like, nothing happened and gaslight them to think they heard it in their head.

They're now in Boston. But, yeah, we're in Boston. Or I say what we're all thinking, which is I just called all you guys Boston. So obviously, I went with the latter. And I was like, I am so sorry. And but also Buffalo, by the way, is the most, like, they are a tiny town that has their own football team like they are the most proud town in all of probably the country yeah so the fact i said hello boston i could have gotten stoned they live through full on tundras yep and they don't

complain at all no they're just sweet they live in alaska and they don't care and they're and they're happy about it and they're like we see the sun for 48 hours once a year and we're good i thought upstate was Westchester growing up? Turns out it's not. It's Buffalo. No, it's really not. And so in that moment, like you, for the next like five minutes, I'm doing like the beginning of my show and I'm just repeating it in my head like, was it as bad as like, yeah, that was really bad. I couldn't believe people were coming to tell me. They're like, oh my God, you've got to hear this. You know, you're like. Hannah's so stupid. You're front road fashion week and people are like, your friend is just so fucking dumb. But the best was when I got off stage, the messages were so

funny, they go, Boston loves you. Thank you so much for coming to Boston. We do love Boston. Best show ever. Um, I haven't done a show in Buffalo. You have to. It's, it was incredible. It was like 1,700 girls all messaging, be making fun in me. How'd you get there? I had to actually fly to Rochester and then we drove because I had a show in Rochester the night before. Anyway, meanwhile, I'm in, I'm struggling. And I'm sending you some stuff. And I'll, if I see photos of you, I need a story. Yeah. And you know how we got there, who you saw, whatever. And she's not giving me anything.

So I started making up voice notes. I was like, hey, I got to tell you about something. Hannah sent me some of the most incredible voice notes this weekend. And here's the thing. Couldn't tell you what they're about. No, I couldn't either now. But at the time, I was like, oh my God. Like, I saw them come in.

And I did. Wait, this is the funniest thing. I'm out of shoot all day Friday. I'm with Trezumet. We're doing stuff all day. I get two voice notes from you back to back. two double two-miniters. I'm like, oh, my God, let's freaking go.

Now, like, with the update of the phone, you know how you can click, see more, and it's, like, written out. Oh, yeah. So I'm, like, around people, so I'm not, like, just going to play your voice. Do you want to hear what happens saying? That would be a death sentence.

Diabolical, yeah. Who knows what could be set. No, I'd never work in this town again. So I'm, like, I click it and I'm reading it, and someone comes from over my shoulder, and they're like, oh, my God, what is that? And like, first of all, hip-up. No, that is such a hippo.

I'm like, second of all, let a girl get a voice note from her friend and know that it's not appropriate to listen to you right now in this moment, but I couldn't, I had to know what the gist was. This is the problem with being friends with a public figure is that she's either locked away in the safest, most private place where she can be, like, blasting your voice notes, or she's surrounded by a full team of 12 people and everyone who's ever worked in Hollywood. So you just have to pray. I don't remember what I said, but it was literally to be like, you respond to be like, these are the best voice messages I've ever heard. And I go, okay, I wanted you to respond with the voice notes. I know, but I didn't have the time. And honestly, I didn't even have, I didn't have any good gossip to give you.

But what people don't talk enough about with voice notes, like when you're, like, I know when you're about to start laughing about something Because I like, so listening to a voice note, like, just to know when you're recording it, I'm laughing at the same time. Okay? And I think that's important for you to know. That, like, warmed my heart. Yeah. Also, I have a paranoia that I'm going to be, like, really good, like, two minutes into a voice note and then fuck up, like, two and a half minutes in.

And, like, I'm a performer. Like, I don't like. You're fine with the coughing. I don't like too much. But you are a cougher. You're an avid coffer. Well, you should hear, like, when I send ads to Grace, I'm like. I'm sorry, I need a minute.

When you record the ads, not to, you know, shit, well, how the sausage is made, you press record and then you record, like, all the ads. I have to record it one by one because I'm convinced I'm going to, like, knock over my recording. I'm on there for, like, 25 minutes. My voice note. I feel like Grace has heard me on the phone with my mom, but I stop and do, like, my own thing. You just therapy. You go, oh, wait, my therapist is on the line.

There has been times where, like, I'll go on Instagram for, like, five minutes home. oh shit, I'm doing ads. Grace, sorry. God forbid you, like, just send her two files or more than one file. I don't want her to have to open that much. Okay. You know, I want her to get one email. My thing with the voice notes, I'd rather send, like, 10, one minute voice notes than one

10 minute one because I think it's easier to consume. But that's just my process. I have a girlfriend who we don't speak often. Like, we speak quarterly, honestly. We catch up and then we move about our lives. Three is when we follow up. A couple days ago, this bitch sent me a 15-minute voice note. I mean, the updates were completely necessary.

I literally got an update on her entire summer. Wait, that's a standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival. I set it down and I was like, you're getting in confolding. I'm like, oh, what? But doesn't the phone sometimes stop playing it because the phone goes to sleep? Yeah, and I have to like, no, it's a whole thing. Was it better than mine? No, it was more informational, I'll say.

Which honestly is valid. Definitely more factual. It wasn't as opinion-based. Definitely cohesive. Definitely full sentences reformed. We have so much to talk about. Shall I begin with one? Oh, no, it's coming to you.

I shall begin. Yes. I shall. The flow is yours. So stupid stuff. Wait, not right now. We're not talking about this right now. But I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary because I knew you were going to talk about it.

So at a later time, we'll dive into it. But I just want you to know going into it. I've seen it clock it. Okay. That's really very excited. This is a voice note from Paige, by the way. She coughs. She tells you what she's going to talk about.

Then forgets what she was going to talk about. A couple weeks ago, I get a message. a DM from Morgan Stewart. Who is Lord our Savior? You know the best thing about my assistant is she's so Gen Z that like I bring out Morgan Stewart at least once a week. Like I'm referencing her. And every single time I say, she goes, who?

And I go honestly, no, keep me young. Thank you. I get a DM from Morgan Stewart and I'm like, my life is made. We start like chit chatting, whatever. And then she goes, I'm having a dinner during fashion week, but not like a fashion week dinner. And I totally knew what she meant by that. And I was like, of course. For people that don't know, can you explain? Like, she was having a fashion week dinner, but she was having a Morgan Stewart She wanted to hang. She wasn't having like a branded in your face. Yeah, like drapes. She wouldn't

have drapes and candles. She's not having fluorescent lighting. She didn't have any fluorescent lighting. Yeah. She obviously had a photographer. Yes. But like, it was very, grab your skinny margarita. take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along. So I had never met her before in person. I didn't know that. Yeah, so I didn't, like, know what to expect. First of all, walk up to the restaurant, so chic, not a sign in sight, could have literally been walking into a dentist office.

They're like, private room is upstairs. So New York. This French restaurant, it was called, I think it was called Le Vu. I was just like, yeah, Blair Waldorf, like, go. was here. So I walk in, she's the first person I see. We hug. We immediately start talking about glam. So I'm like, no, I'm home. Were you nervous? I was very nervous, but I wasn't nervous enough to take a beta blocker. Because I was like, no, I manifested this. This is like, this was going to happen. We knew it. Yeah, I knew this. She literally just had her friends at dinner.

Like it was, me, tinks, this girl, Sarah, Ariel Charnas, were like the only people that I feel like I knew from Instagram, everyone else. I was like, oh, that's your best friend. Yeah. So it was like a fun, funny dinner. Sounds like a bachelorette party. I had two cocktails, which I never do. That means you were in a good mood.

I will say, I was the first person to leave. I didn't even have that. The clock struck 1015. I was like, I'm literally, I melt at 1030, so I have to scrow out. I live on the west side, which is basically Europe, so I have to go now. Here's the other thing. You had to beat the traffic. Dinner was on the.

dinner was uptown and that's how I knew I was like I'm in the right place at the right time right place at the right time all the kids are downtown they're doing their thing they're walking being punks being punks they're being literal punks okay and I'm uptown at a mommy and me and then I'm going home I was uptown too but I was in Boston but she was the best it was like Just a chic, cute dinner. I love that. We all got a belt. And I was like, amazing.

People don't talk about belts enough. No. Belts are never in the conversation. Then one day you wake up and you go, oh, no, this outfit needs a belt and you don't have one. Yep. I hoard belts, actually. Speaking of accessories, I have a hot take. As someone who is, I don't know if it's because I'm anxious or possibly ADHD or just I get overwhelmed easily, I can't do bracelets.

There's too much, what's it called, sensory overload. When I wear a bracelet, I'm like, I walk into a room and I'm like, I'm wearing a bracelet. I try talking. I'm like, are you looking at my bracelets? Or the girls that wear the same necklaces every single day. And my thought is, are you showering in them? Yes, you are. And sleeping in them.

Yeah, you are. Because that would, we are not really jewelry gout. No, like, when I got engaged, I was like, cool, I don't wear rings. You guys, I don't wear my wedding room. I don't want it. I don't wear my wedding ring because I started getting rashes. I don't even know why. And people would be like, are you not married?

Exema? Or like it was like... I think it's because when I wash my hands in so many different states, sorry, I'm traveling a lot. When I'm in Boston versus Buffalo. Wait, are you going to blame like a water issue here? Yeah, the water's different. And I think I also don't dry my hands to the point every time.

And it starts getting red. Like I get a rash. So I don't wear my hands. wedding ring. No one needs two rings on their finger. No one needs two rings. That's prison. It's a prison.

And then when I wear, if you wear, God forbid I wear a bangle, I'm like, I can't focus on this conversation because my bangle's moving. When I see the girls wearing like the hand chains, I'm like. My friend Madison plays tennis in her body chain. I'm like, I don't know how they're doing it. Not to call her out, but it's like, it's like girls who wear its sweaters that are itchy just for fun. Like, I think bracelets or.

The girls who have stacked bracelets. No, I can't. I could do that maybe for a look. I can't even. We are, we wear studs. Like, I love stacking jewelry and wearing a bunch of bracelets and wearing a bunch of rings for a look. For 30 minutes. But then when I get home, get it off.

Get it off. Also, when you can't get a bracelet off. Nothing more humbling. One of my friends had a bracelet on. I'm not kidding, for like four months. And she was like, well, because I couldn't get it off. If the moment I knew I couldn't get it off, that's the moment I have to take pliers because I'm not going to live in my own prison that I,

I've created, I'd start having a literal panic. And then get it out. Also, I'm wearing a ring right now that's like huge and I love it, but it's the only thing I'm going to think about this whole pod. I know for a fact that you're cleaning out your apartment right now. And these are all items that you've recently found that you forgot and you put it all together today. And you were like, wait, cool outfit forgot I had it.

I know that's what happened because never have I once seen you walk in with earrings and a ring and like also a fit that I haven't seen in a while. Now that I'm fully exposed, I feel fucking naked. Now that I feel naked on this one. I saw Jacqueline, or nail girl. After a full summer not seeing her, I opened the door and she was like, funny seeing you here. I said, Jacqueline, do you know we talk about you on the podcast every single week? And she was like, yeah, it's really funny.

And I was like, come in. And then I said, Jacqueline, I need natural. Yeah. And then she went arguably too natural because I said, Jacqueline, you can give me like fake long ones and she goes no you just cut it off so i lost privileges with her she goes so i'm know jaclin could demote you no she demoted me like she tried with me yeah and is over my shit and she said i'm keeping your nubs nubby and this is what you get sometimes jaclain will give me an option she'll give me two options right but i which i love that i feel like she's secretly testing me

because i know that she likes one of the options more and so sometimes i'll say one and she'll look at me and I'll go, the other one should it. They're like, wait, Jenner, how did you do that? She doesn't say yes. She'll just nod and look back down. And I'm like, I'm so scared right now. But also, I haven't cut them,

but maybe I did once and she hasn't forgiven me. But Jacqueline's back in my life. Good. You guys know we hate admin at Giggly Squad. And that's why we love Square. Today's episode's brought to you by Square. It's smart, streamlined tools that make running your business simple. I want to announce that I am doing merch on my stand.

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yes no shared halls or hotel hallways just space real space where we can all stay up late but anyone who needs some quiet can sneak off and recharge with an irish exit and the views bruce peninsula looks unreal cliffs turquoise water it feels like one of those hidden gems that people don't talk about enough that's why i love Airbnb it's not just the place it's how the whole trip feels whether it's something you've planned or a last minute escape you'll find the perfect place to stay on air B&B. If you're moving in or moving out or just want to refresh your living space, then you have to try Cozy. Cozy's furniture collection are designed to work within your space. They're practical, comfortable, and make it easy to find your perfect fit. Their covers are washable and interchangeable, which means you get endless color combinations without worrying about spills. And their shipping is so fast. Cozy makes furnishing your home easy. It's designed to keep up with you. You can reconfigure, redesign, and reimagine your entire space with all of Cozy's products.

From sofa beds to washable rugs, modular shelving to outdoor lounging, cozy has everything you need. Life is just more exciting when you can rearrange your furniture at the drop of a hat. So transform your living space today with Cozy.C.C.A. That's C-O-Z-E-Y.C-A, the home of possibilities made easy. I also hung out with Vampire Weekend They're a band Chris knows them Chris knows them How old it did I

Thadda da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Into the city I'm on Jamadona Mounted down Do they have another ballad of some sort? I'm not I'm not That one's not clicking These guys like they're just in a band

And this What is it vampire what? Weekend They're very, like, they popped off 10 years ago. Okay. So I was like, how's tour, guys? And they were like, good. Where'd you meet them?

At the airport. Because there's a girl in their band who's also a comedian who's, like, a genius, and also does violin, Isabelle. Okay. And she's, isn't those ADHD conversation I'd be like I've ever been a part of. Anyway, I thought you were going to know who Vampire Weekend is, but because you don't. Do you even know me? Does that sound like something I would know with the first? Fuck that is.

Nelly? And I'm like, no. Either you're talking about vampire diaries and you're going to bring up that the star of vampire Diaries just broke up with her fiancé. Shall we talk about Nina? Shall we? She's having so much fun on Instagram. I mean, not Instagram.

That he cheated on her. Yeah. Then she did a TikTok that was like, like, iconic. Kind of basically like. Confirmie at fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. I think they were engaged for like five years.

I'm going to be honest. I never saw them together. Yeah. And look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl. I didn't want to say it. Sometimes I'm a huge fan of that. I didn't want to say it, but. But they were taking it to the limit.

Like that one. This is the thing. There are handsome gingers out there. 100%. And there are talented gingers out there. And there are kind gingers out there. Yeah. This one in particular, I think it's giving she gave him too much confidence.

And that's what it has. Snowboarders need to calm down. Like, as a former skier, when I was skiing, everyone was so polite. Excuse me, whatever. Then I'd fucking die. I almost got murdered. No, they come. They're all, they literally are like a group of 14-year-old snowboarders.

No, like, they rob you. And then they steal your glasses. And then you're scared and freezing. And then they give you the finger as they go down every time. I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like that. I literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give me the finger, ski down, and, like, take all the hot chocolate. I don't know.

No, like, they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that, like, throw eggs with nair in them. Like, those are snowboarders. Is that a thing? Oh, my God, that's intense. Yeah, so shout out to Nina. We love you. Wow, your list is crazy.

My list is crazy. Oh, can we bring back a saying? Yeah. Can we please start saying that shit's whack? Like, can we say whack at least? I feel like... Like, that's so whack. So whack.

I don't know. As I said it a lot. Yeah. No, I feel like I've said it recently. Wack. Like, whack was my everything. Everything was like, it's whack. It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z, like, people making videos of, like, four millennials.

like hey here's things we don't say anymore here's things like that like you said that means the same thing here whack is such a great word to describe anything say i think feel all the same way with swag oh yeah thank god for justin bieber thank tgif what happens tgif and not to bring up to pang up she's often dancing with the stories this is Yeah. Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I think I'm going to watch Dancing with the Stars this year. Really? I've never watched it. I've never watched it either. You're just like feeling, are you feeling like old school reality TV? Did you watch? Oh, okay. I was like, is that you're trying to get into like competition? No, it's more like, first of all, my TikTok is just full of all of them.

And then I realize they all do like incredible TikToks. Yeah. There's a Gen Z that works at Dancing with the Stars because these, I'm no offense, but these guys are dancing like training and intensely. They're not also coming up with like incredible TikTok strategies. Yeah, the social media team is killing it. So every day I'm like, I'm, that's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks and Gleb. Like I didn't watch the show. I think I might watch it. Um, because there's also like more people that I like kind of know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get like people who were on a TV show like 20 years ago. Yeah. Or like an athlete that like broke his ACL and is like doesn't know what to do.

I love a, like, former athlete coming back to do something. Yeah. And you're like, he has CTE, but... But he's figuring it out. Yeah. So, like, I think I might watch it. Okay. And this is coming from...

I might watch... It's so crazy because I might watch The Bachelorette this year. Oh, well, that is another level of time-consuming. Oh, because of Taylor. Mm-hmm. Frankie? Paul. Got it.

Oh, that's... Oh, that's... Wait, okay, recently on TikTok, I've been getting a lot of, like, nostalgia videos. I've been getting a lot of, like, nostalgia videos. I want to bring back shopping from a catalog. Like, I, like, obviously it's being taken over by shopping online, but, like, do you remember being young and your mom getting, like, the Victoria's Secret catalog and going through and, like, circling, like, different things?

And then she'd physically call and order what she wanted. She was like number 8, 7, 4, 3, 2. Like, I would fuck that up. Like, the women in STEM, like, just thinking about there was, like, a group of women ready to receive these phone calls. A group of women who are at home being like, okay, number eight. This was an underground economy that people didn't know of. Yeah. But it was crazy about those magazines.

It was used two ways. It was girls like us being like, mom, I really want this, like, crop top. Yeah. And then just like men jerking off to it. Oh, I didn't even think of that. They didn't have, like. Wait, that's disgusting. Men didn't have porn back then.

They had to, like, find magazines. And, or they had, yeah, they had to, like, draw it. Men would draw boobs and jerk off to it from memory. Wait. Why? I guess that never crossed my mind that like a 13-year-old boy back then, like getting pumped for their mom to get like the summer victorious secret catalog. I was like going to look at it and I'm like, why is it crispy? Why are the pages crispy?

Daniel! Wait, that's so vile. So vile. I also had a friend who got in trouble because he was printing out like a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman. And his mom caught him like mid-print. Like, what do you do with this? We got in, like, big trouble. One time I was at my friend's house in, like, seventh grade, and we were, like, playing

in her basement, and we found all of her dad's, like, dirty magazines. And I was just, like, wait, what? Also, this is like... Wow, that made my eye twit. This is TMI, but my brother was, like, 13 or 14, and my... He went to camp, and my parents got a call, and they were freaking out. They were like, we have to tell you something. In his cabin, a...

one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen. And my parents were like, what did he see? Like, they really got scared. And they were like, it was a photo of girls in bikinis. And my dad was like, okay. Can you bring it back? But I guess like they had to warn them. Let me send a picture.

Let me see. Let me see what he saw. Also, what we mean like he saw? They're like he may or may not have seen a kid brought that in. But anyway, that was like what men were busy. doing instead of learning about consent um do you think purple lettuce thinks it's better than other lettucees lettuce i yes because when i'm eating purple lettuce or a colored carrot you stop and you know you're gorgeous if i have a tricolored carrot on my plate your tax bracket has changed my tax bracket has

changed i know more languages than you do like yeah i feel like the purple purple lettuce like nose like and it's always like curly in a way where it's just like like you can put it on a dress and it always comes out of nowhere like you're like gnawing on your rabbit food and then you're like who is she are you just talking about like cabbage I don't know enough about the lettuce species to be able to what is the purple I don't look I'm starting this new thing I tried to eat salads last week it didn't work wait I texted grace like recently and she was like sorry Hannah's like not responding because she's in a Pilates class And I was just like, what?

I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour. Before I go on tour. Oh, did you, are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11 p.m? No. Oh, you haven't stuck to it. Funny, because last year we had to stick to it. Yep, because, well, last year you tried to put me in a caloric deficit and I was famished. This year, you're willy-nilly just ordering whatever.

I don't know what town you're even in. You're so stuffed. I did get a really good Mexican bowl on Saturday. Wait, the other day, Hannah sent me. I was eating my feelings after I embarrassed myself in front of all the girls above low. Hannah sent me and Grace, like, in our group chat, a picture of her, like, being out to brunch by herself. Honestly, we're such a, like, mom text. Like, you know, like, when your mom's somewhere with your dad, like, we just, like, we're at brunch, and it's just, like, we're at brunch, and it's just, like,

That's the table. Yes. It's like, okay, but is that there? You're so right. You're so valid. I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't aesthetic and it wasn't cool.

But just from the photo, I could tell that whatever town you were in, you found the most amazing diner. A couple key things I could tell from said amazing diner. The wooden table. Like a good wooden dining. table they mean business when the condiments are already on the table because they know you're about to go in yep so when you have ketchup salt pepper they even have their napkins in there spicy stuff also when you order you don't order anything you just say fuck me up fam also do you know how you know

it's going to be fucking good when the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin like they're not just sitting on a napkin don't get me a cloth not a cloth but also I don't want just a napkin sitting I want it like they had they're going so fast that have you ever seen someone wrap those up and then put the thing no is it like people doing domino's boxes no it's like they can go so fast also this place it was in san francisco they also had juices which like also I want a plastic water cup and I want it to be so abnormally big like there's no way I could finish it. And discolored. Discolored.

Cloudy. Yeah. And yeah, I got pancakes for the table. And by the table, I met my table. Yeah. Oh my God, my eyes like really twitchy. There's like pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up. Okay.

Hillary Duff. Getting back in the studio. Well, you want, I don't want to, I don't want to bring up an old rivalry. Oh. But I would say. Oh, oh. We are watching Lindsay live her best life look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday.

They had, they had like redone mean girls. She went to the premiere. She's just like, she's on every cover. She looks phenomenal. People are like, she has Verizon ads. She lives her life in Dubai. She's a mom. No one was bringing up Hillary Duff.

And I think maybe she's going to have a resurgence because of that. And not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there was some inspiration. Certainly not pitting women against women, although I just did. But I do find it ironic that they did have like a beef back then and now like they're both. I'm so sad for that.

Yeah. The millennials are excited. Grace, do you like remember Hillary Duff at all? Yes, yes. What do you remember? Like, Cadet Kelly. Cadet Kelly. Okay.

Like Lizzie McGuire Like Lizzie McGuire I feel like I loved Kelly Love but I like loved Composable more So you I also did like all the Disney Double Team movies

Whenever there was like a sport And the girl came in I was like she's awesome See I loved like Lindsay Lohan Like got to get a clue Like she was in She was wearing cool outfits Yeah yeah

Okay anyhow Another pop culture topic Nev from the catfishing show is now... Is it Neve? Neve. Yeah. It's Neve. Is it Neve?

I think he goes by both. Because Neve... I think he's not picky. Neve is also an Irish name spelled N-A-I-M-G-P-H or something. I want to say it's Neve, but... Who am I? Neve? You? Buffalo. Boston. He is in real estate now. He just announced. Very casually, like, on a city bike. He's like, if anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate. Wait, what happened to catfish? I think it's done. It's done? Yeah. But maybe he always had a passion for homes. Like, maybe the whole time he didn't really care about... You don't always say about real estate. No, I'm going to do a good time. Wake 7 says, I'll be a real estate agent today.

That's for ex-NFL players who are one bad day away. I'm really losing it. They got to buy a building or something. I guess for people who are like people, people, like talking to people and they have like connections through the industry, it could help. I'm actually not going to knock it because we support men in the arts. No, I support having like a normal job. He spent so much of his life being a TV host and like being. in the public.

Do you know how he got famous? He got catfish and did a documentary. Yeah. So I feel like the last 20 years, he's been in Hollywood. He probably wants something that's like a little more structured maybe. Like he's not really traveling that much. It's like chill. People know him.

People would like walk in and see a familiar face and probably like want him to be his real estate agent just because of that. Yeah. Honestly, I take back everything. Actually, we're, if anyone needs an apartment. You know what? I'm moving. You'd be such, there's another life where you live, like, in Kansas,

and you are the it girl of real estate. Like, every single bench in that town is you, and you're wearing a power suit. The best outfit. Like, no one's ever seen. Your glam is incredible. No one's ever seen you without full glam. They call me penthouse page. And there's no penthouses in Kansas.

That's really sexual, actually. That actually sounds like my only fan's page. I take that back. Parkway paint. Nope. Not still not good. And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients, but... I've thought about real estate, and you know what?

It knocks me down every time. I'm not doing math in my adult age. Oh, yeah. I've moved on. I'm past that. Do you have to do math? You have to know square footage. And, like, you have to know, like, there is numbers.

And I'm like, actually, no. Did you watch Selling Sunset? Um, not really. I, like, don't... Like, if I'm watching a... real estate show, it's because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. I do find that interesting. I don't

care about like the real estate agent drama. It was a lot of like them getting out of the Yukon SUV slowly so they could see. It's a lot of our rivals and departures. It's a lot of just arrivals and leaving. There's nothing. Netflix reality shows love

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How's your fantasy football team doing? Thank you for bringing that up. It's not, we're not done with like this weekend of playing, but I played Taylor Strucker's wife who's pregnant. And I beat that bitch. I said, oh, you're hermona, you beat the growing baby. Look, you come to play. And losers loseers lose.

What are we to say? Taylor Donahue, like, look. Come for the beast. You're going to get eaten. That's what they say. Like, big dog got to eat. She's like, I'm literally just trying to, like. She's also like, I didn't even want to play in this league.

I'm texting her. She's like, I thought it was something fun. Me and Taylor could do it together. I literally texting her, like, you stupid bitch, why would you pick that running back? Are you fucking stupid and dumb and ugly? Wow, are you going to know how to parent your kid? You can't even parent this team? Who's putting you in charge of anything?

Wait, I love Taylor. We love the Taylor's. I want them to adopt me. The Taylor's like, Taylor Shuckers, why I got into podcasting. So anyway, and Taylor Don, you edited Burning in Hell for like three years. No way. People don't know that. She likes to be behind the scenes.

But I just put her up last on my podcast. So are, is your team overall doing well? You know, who's also in my league, Andrew Collin, who's. Last year I said, like, I was going to do this league with you. I think just. Is that my fault? Like, I forgot. I forgot.

No, I thought of it, like, when everyone was like, oh, I have my fantasy draft next week. And I had a moment where I was like, should I do it with Hannah? It takes zero effort. Well, then I remembered that, like, I really don't care. Yeah. But you'd be so surprised. It's like the girls who go on The Bachelor who were like, this guy who is ugly, I don't care. And then you see, like, eight girls get worked up about him.

And suddenly you're like, if he doesn't want to marry me, I'll, like, freak out. It would go one of two ways for me. I'd either be, like, so into it and competitive and be, like, refreshing. all the time or like a tomagocchi and I'd forget I had it. Yeah. And I'd be like, and my tomogachi died. The thing is you get like notifications. Okay.

So it's basically me just feeding my, um, high for temporary happiness. So like if a guy gets a touchdown, it's like you just got 12 points. And every week, it's, it's all luck. What do you win at the end? Some money. But it's not about the money. It's about the love of the game. And it's about telling your, I'm probably not going to do it.

No, no, but like when you, when I, when I. Like, Andrew Collin had a better draft than me, and he was all like, that's how he talks. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm ready to play him. You are. Andrew, I'm coming for you. You were really close to winning last year, right?

I was close to winning. Yeah, I remember that. But thanks for reading that up. Because guess what close to winning is? It means you're a fucking loser. But it's really like yelling at guys for like spraining an ankle. Like if a guy sprained an ankle, he, like, ruins your score. And I'm like, look where you're walking, bro.

Bro? Yeah, I get that. Speaking of... Nope. The Chiefs are... The Chiefs lost their first two games, which is kind of crazy. Wait, did you see Taylor Swift had to walk in with like... She, like, walked into the game... Behind the thing.

Like, a bulletproof something. Like, walked behind something. Oh. I don't know. Very scary. Very scary. Did... No one was able to see her in the stadium sitting?

I don't think so. Yeah. Can I say something controversial? Yeah. There's a girl on TikTok, because I'm back on TikTok, who shaved her head, but didn't, like, ask her husband for permission. Okay. And then he saw it and said, I'm not attracted to you. You have to wear wigs around me.

And the internet is a gasp. And, like, I don't be honest, it's giving G.I.J. and sheik. Like, when a girl shaves her head, it's not even about, like, whether you look good or bad. It's, like, the confidence you exude. It's clearly a look Maybe ask your wife If everything's okay Rather than just hitting her with like

Don't speak to me No he's literally like don't speak to me I'm not attracted to you And marriage is about attraction And it's like this is I bring up the word bangs And you're immediately like And is everything okay at home? Yes

Yes I mean So everyone's mad being like Fuck this guy But yeah I think the first sign was not That he isn't talking to her I think it's that she thought about shaving her head It's not that shaving her head's a bad

but when you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life. Yeah, like something's going on. I think she hates him. He just proved that they don't like each other. If you are staying with someone, look, I've had so many boyfriends that walk in with the dumbest haircut where I look at them and I'm like, the fact that I'm associated with you pains me right now.

But then you take a breath and you go, it'll grow out, we're good. I think there's a lot of times on TikTok, like where girls will post it. something about their relationship or like their boyfriend will literally be in like the back of the TikTok, but he's not like smiling ear to ear. People are like, he hates you. And it's like, he probably doesn't. He's like doing it. But then there are times where it's so apparent where it's like you've got to get out of that

relationship. My thing where I always, I feel like notice it is and only because I had a boyfriend once who like was obsessed with talking about this and I was like, you have like mental issues. if you want to shove cake in your wife's face, I think that you are one of... You hate women. You hate women. Yeah, you are on a misogynistic level that you actually don't even realize.

Are you talking like wedding day? Yes. Like, I had a boyfriend who would actively, I'm not getting argue with me that if he, if I didn't let him smush cake in my face on the wedding day that like I wasn't fun. But that's not even a thing. Like, I was like, but that's not in the Bible. But like, why would you ever want to? take your hand, get, no, I've never said anything that you need to, it's just supposed to feed it to

each other. Leave the cake out of it. Why would you ever want to take your hand and smush it into my face like that on an aggressive level? No, also, you're ruining the glam. Also that you, the day I have glam, we're only here so that I can get the shot. I want my husband to barely kiss my lips because he knows that he doesn't want to mess it up. Like, give me an air kiss. Give me an air kiss. Wait, the The smashy of the face, that's not funny. And so that's something that I always had, like, such a visceral reaction to, like, whenever I see that on TikTok where, like, they put cake in each other's mouths, I'm like, no, I don't like it.

No, not, well, there's one thing if, like, the two of them are, like, we're so, we're quirky. Yeah, we're doing it at the same time. Open your mouth like that. Yeah, we push a little. Guys that are, like, smushing it, and she's backing up. Do you know what it feels like? It feels like they're doing it for their boys, which is. That's exactly what it is.

We've waited long enough. We have to bring up Charlie Sheen. No, I've been trying to watch it for the past three nights Because I get falling asleep How are you falling asleep during that? I was getting jolted like by I literally clutched my pearls And I've seen a lot in this life I was a gasp I was going

No, there was so many things that I was just If you haven't watched it, it's phenomenal First thing I want to point out The editing of it Spectacular. Spectacular The cinematography, spectacular. I liked how it felt like you were like on a...

Put anyone in a diner chatting? They're going to give it up. I'm into it. That's why. If you put people in diners, suddenly they lose all privacy. Yeah. And they're just like, let me lay it out. That was my biggest note about it is this man did not have to say...

You couldn't water some of that info out of it. He did not have to say... Like, he could have said 10% of what he said, and I would have been like, that's a great documentary about Charlie. Charlie Sheen. Yeah. At one point you could see, they were like, hey, we're done, Charlie. And he's like, what more than you?

And I'm going to give you guys an example. This isn't giving anything away. He tells a story about being really high on set, that his eyes were really heavy. Yeah. And that finally the director, like noticed enough to pull him aside and was like, you look like you're falling asleep during your scenes. So I think he's going to say, oh, I'm going to do snort some cocaine. Yeah.

As one would do. So as Charlie Sheen would do. He goes, I go get some ice. shove it up my butthole. Yeah. And he says this dead pan and goes back. He was telling the craziest stories,

but he was telling it to you as if he was like, I just went down to the deli, got us a couple sodas, and they're in the kitchen. Do you want one? Like, it's how he was like, I took an ice cube,

shoved it up my asshole, won an Oscar. As you do. Yes. And then, sorry, I didn't mean to squeam. But I'm feeling of emotions. I know.

Champon, who by the way, I've never even seen him give an interview before. Show someone was going on. Someone was going on there. Either he had something on him. He lost a bet. Sean Penn, like, Oscar winning actor is just like, can I say one of his quotes?

Yeah. He goes, you know, most guys, when they do cocaine, their dicks get weak. Imagine doing cocaine and your dick gets stronger. That's Charlie Sheen. The way I just said, what? No, eroticness. of this documentary was so phenomenal. But also, I took away like a couple top tier things.

Yes. One, Charlie Sheen has a phenomenal family. Sounds like his dad and his brothers, great humans. Two, where's the mom? Why didn't they bring up the mom? Didn't even, was there a mom? Well, that's what happens when the mom is not. Where is she?

Where is she? Kidnapped. What is she doing? In hiding, witness protection. I literally Google Charo Sheen's mom. And she exists, but not one part of the document. Maybe she's just so private. But like, that's crazy when your whole family is in the public eye.

I wanted the dad to be on more, and I wanted the brother to be on more. And I wanted his kids on more. Okay, you sound like a producer. Calm down. She's like, I want his first child. I want his HIV test. Denise still loves them. because and you want to know what i i love denise i do not fault her for a single second because when

she tells the story of them meeting and hanging out yeah he was sober he was a normal person and she probably still loves that version i don't remember fully from watching beverly hills but she drops the fum yeah every three seconds in the best way yeah no i i'm a big denise richards fan. They did her so wrong on that show, by the way. They should have treated her with care and respect so that she had a long career on that show. Well, you want to know what? They were all jealous of her because she was a genuinely famous person. And the most beautiful woman to ever live. And then she was a sex symbol. And then was coming on the show and they all wanted to be like worried about her than you. And that's why she should have been protected to not make her look crazy when she was

getting attacked. But the thing with the dad and the brothers. And she was remarried to like a freak psycho. Wait, is she still with him? No, they're getting a divorce. Thank God. Oh yeah. He was like, he was like a weird. Very strange. Very strange bird. He was just like big jawline. That was just a drawline. Yeah. Strange man. Yeah, strange man. So Charlie Sheen goes, my brother and my dad did not want to be in the documentary. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't want to be associated with it. But I totally get that. They've probably been through so much. So much. I mean, it's just been his whole life. But it is a case of nepotism for sure.

However, he's kind of a genius. Well, I was going to say, my other big takeaway is how many chances do men get? How many God? I mean, this man ruined his life more times than he was successful. And every time the general public and TV, he was in rehab being, like having his agent being like, you can do any movie you want, they'll have you. Like, if that was a woman or any other person, I just... The crazy story, which I was surprised he said, was about him and Nicholas Cage,

which, by the way, I didn't know Nicholas Cage was, like, the biggest party boy. Do you think Nicholas Cage is somewhere being like, oh, what? Send me a sexist. Nicholas Cage did not agree to be in that. He literally, the stories he told about Nicholas Cage, um... It made me, this is sick, but it made me like Nicholas Cage. more. Well, you know, I'm like, oh, yeah, his brain is burned.

Oh, I didn't realize you were that much of, like, a freak. So they go on an airplane. Nicholas Cage takes the mic and, like, tells them, like, they're going down. Which, by the way, where's the bit? Where's the bit in that? So everyone freaks out when they land, there's cops. Yeah. And Charlie goes, well, good thing, they were a fan.

Yeah. And they were just like, don't do that again. Imagine if a female celebrity did that. No. Imagine if anyone did that? Like if any other person did that? Like, no, it's crazy. And then when he got to rehab, how...

They let him leave? Nicholas Cage texted and says, hey, there's a bikini judging contest in Palm Springs. And he goes, so I had to go to that. He was like, hold on, let me get out of this rehab thing. And Nicholas Cage was like, sick. He told the lady, if I'm not back by 8 a.m., I'll give you a million dollars.

And he got back by 7.40. I just think it's a great documentary And the last thing that I took away from it Push your man And he'll turn gay They all have the capacity To go to the other side And I know that

The way he described it was actually so Iconic He goes, you ever just eat from the same menu every day And then one day you're like Let's flip it to the other show And the guy goes, do you regret it? And he goes, no I wanted to taste the

menu from the other side. Yeah. But he didn't, like, say he was... But he basically said that happened from, because of, because he was getting off of crack. And so that, like, felt good for whatever reason. And that's the first time it ever happened. So he probably did so many drugs. His whole brain was, like, rewired.

Mm-hmm. And I know some that don't need cracks. It was much. But it's also funny because he wasn't like, oh, I had to suck a guy's dick to, like, get the water for the fire festival. Like, there was no threat involved. He was like, I just, I wanted to do it. Which, by the way, the way he said it, though, was so eloquent.

He had a Geneseecois. I was like, yeah. I think he's by and like more men should be able to be by. I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm obsessed with him now. Like, I will give him another chance. I think he should get back to acting. Here's actually, no, he actually shouldn't get back to acting.

Here's one thing that no one said, like, the entire time. I don't think his problem really was, I mean, he obviously had a lot of problems. They never got to the root of it. He couldn't be famous. It was the fame. It wasn't like the working. It wasn't the movies. It wasn't like he had to get up early and memorize these lines.

He could obviously do that so easily. It was genuinely the fame. He probably had so many people watching everything he did, talking about everything he did, wanted to see like and it got too much and no one but i also think people always say like okay if you're a problem with alcohol they're all ways of coping with the bigger problems but like they never they kind of made like his childhood seem like pretty good i mean yeah his childhood seemed fine his dad was an addict too and was going through stuff but yeah the way his family stood by him to this day to this and also him even though he he is a good example of like you can fuck up so many times and as a man

Hollywood will take you back. Yeah. But in terms of your relationships, like you can... Rebuild. You can try to rebuild. And he, even though he wasn't there for his daughter, is now, like, taking that time. No, it was a really good documentary. I have to say one thing about...

That made me reflect on society a little. When he... I love him to get serious. Okay, no, but like, when he... You're like, Hannah Beecher never serious on the bottom. Yeah, we are. Who asks us to be serious? Because the second I am, people are like, I'm here for laughter.

Make me laugh, clown! I will. So he's like on crazy testosterone. He's addicted to like every drug. Yeah. And he goes on his like hashtag winning. Which I like forgot about that. I remember it pretty clearly because everyone, he's going on.

We were in like college. We were young. But he's doing all these like crazy interviews saying like the craziest things. because he's like so crazy on testosterone. He's like, I got tiger blood. And the way people responded was like, this guy. Put him on tour. It's awesome.

People were like, he's saying all the things that we all want to say. Put him in theaters. Give him a marquee. So when you see a very loud, crazy man, it doesn't always mean he's right. No, it is crazy. I wish they did dive into like the team that was around him at that time, like signing him up to sell tickets to shows and like perform like 60 days in a row that's when he started doing anal.

Yeah and so and so and I. And so and I. Have we thought about it yet? You know what, now I got it. You need somebody to take that job. Paige goes, and then we were in Denver and I took a beta block card. I just shipped it up my both and I went on stage. The gigglers, they become desensitized.

They have to go. Oh, God. I do have to say I did have a woman stopped me at the airport and said, hi, I have a 21-year-old daughter, and I love what you guys do to help her be confident in herself. So don't listen to that part. Now I'm, like, aware, 21-year-olds are listening

because, look, they keep us young. Yeah. Oh, there is a good show out called Revenge, Love Con Revenge, on Netflix. Okay. Which is from the girl who was swindled by the Tinder Swindler. Okay. Who's made her whole purpose in life to help find other men who are conning women.

Okay. So it's kind of like... Like she's like almost like a private investigator? Well, she gets this private investigator and what I'm obsessed with is it's a woman. So this woman goes, I'm like a dog with a bone. I will stop at nothing. I want to hire a private investigator so badly. You want to help.

But I'm like, I don't know what I want him to look into. You're like, but I need a friend. Find something off. No, I want some. I want to be like, just look into it. I just feel like something needs to be undercover. You want to be sitting in a van with shades on. No, I want to be like walking down the street and my private investigator call and be like, I got something. And be like, I'll be right over. Why do I want that so badly? And you wanted to print out photos and put it in an envelope and hand it to you. And you go, thank you. Thought so. Thank you. I'm like, thank you. I'm sending it to my lawyer. See you and court. And then like my expert

witness is just this gorgeous private investigator. No, next time you tell me that you can't record in the studio because you have a UTI, I'm going to get my private investigator and be like she's actually, she's at home and all and he and her mom's feeding her lasagna. Do you know lasagna soup is a thing for fall? I have seen it. I've never had it, though. It's kind of giving just like soggy lasagna.

I'm not going to lie, I had the best lasagna I've ever had in Tuscany the other weekend. Do you want to know why it was so much better? Because it's in Tuscany. But they like burnt it a little. Like it was crispy. You need crisp. Like it actually tasted like second day lasagna. At the top?

Also I want the bottom too. I want the cheese to be. The whole thing was crispy. And I was like, you guys crush it here. I go, big fan of your work. Like, no, they were right about you guys. Like, you're fucking crushing. You look, you go, how's your Italian food do good?

All I think about any time I go to a different country is, do you guys ever crave sushi? Do you guys ever crave sushi? Italians ever think, like, you know what? All I want is some fucking habacchi. Is there no sushi there? I mean, I don't know. Probably not a lot. I'm sure there was like one or two.

But like, you're never in Italy and you see like tacos. I'm like, wait. I want them to experience it more. But you know what? I feel like because the Italian's so good, they're like, why would we have like? I know, but I'm like, don't you get sick of it? Don't they get sick of it? No, because that's what they know.

That's who they are. Like, imagine if you never tried Diet Coke, you wouldn't crave it. Or normal Coke. Stop. You wouldn't even know. No. It's like Charlie Sheen with heroin. Yeah.

How about it was a girl that got him into it? That I didn't see coming. A girlfriend. Yeah. Which I don't like to blame the women. the woman, and I would say, like, he knew what he was getting into. I've never been offered heroin. I've never been offered cocaine.

You're a loser. No, I've had multiple conversations. That's good, I got to go. Where I'm like, why don't they like me? And they're like, you don't do cocaine. And I was like, how can they tell? People can tell. They can smell it.

People just know. They just know. No, I've never been offered. I mean, look, I know people who know people who know a guy. Yeah, for sure. So watch out. Do you think Charlie Sheen is going to have like a Pam Anderson revival of his career? I don't know.

I think this was more like I have to make amends. It's been so many years now. Let me tell you what happened back then. It's taken me this long to kind of get over it. Are you staring at my nails? Well, no, you were just like your long fingers were like in my face. So I know where else to look. I was saying, or do you think he just needed money?

Because I don't. Probably a little bit of both. Yeah. But also, here's what I'm thinking. He did have Martin Sheena's his dad. I'm sure he had a lot of money set up that he couldn't touch at all. Like, I don't know if he went through all of it. I didn't realize he was the number one.

They didn't have brand deals back then. Right, but he was the highest paid TV actor ever. Well, he said he ran out of his money. Oh, he did? Yeah. He's making $2 million an episode. I know. I know.

But, um... No, the Charlie Sheen lore, I'm just like obsessed with them. Especially if he was like overwhelmed by all the fame and stuff and things started to go well. I wouldn't be like, you know what I should do? I do a Netflix documentary right now. Anyway, it's a really good documentary. You should watch it. Thank you for giggling with us.

I am in Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk, Virginia, this weekend. And I have San Diego a second show added and Vegas and Phoenix. Love you guys. Thank you for giggling. Talk later. Bye. Imagine graduating college and instead of, like, panic crying in your childhood bedroom,

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