Giggly Squad - Giggling about donkey smiles, silver spoons, and shoe horns

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

Paige has come back to life unlike Hannah's smile.subscribe to our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup, Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Got away from me? Hello, my gallivanting gigglers. Great. Well, we're happy because Paige's E. coli has ran through her body.

What is E. coli? I thought you had to, like, bite a cow in the ass to get E. coli. I've lived seven lives. since I've freaking been me. Okay, let me just start from the very beginning. Okay, let me just do like a full story time. So we get like the true details happening. Sunday night, I go out to dinner.

I have some meatballs. Okay. Monday. We record the pod. Yeah. My Monday evening, your Monday morning. Okay. And I'm feeling like a little queasy, but,

not enough to not do Giggly Squad. Like I was like, I can do Giggly Squad. Right when we ended Giggly Squad, it was like my body was like, you fulfilled your obligation. We now are shutting down. Okay. I've truly been in the same spot since you guys left me. I've been right here. I never moved.

I never met. Then I get a picture sent to me of you attached to an Ivy that looked like it was attached to a Pellegrino bottle. And I'm like, what the fuck is going? on in Italy right now. So Monday night, I'm puking my brains out all night. I'm shitting myself. Hannah, I'm sitting on the toilet shitting.

I'm bending over and puking in the bidet. Okay? It was, in my head, I was like, so convenient. This is the most convenient thing I've actually ever encountered in my life. Thank God I own a pajama brand because the amount of pajamas. pajamas I went through. Sweating through it? No, I shit myself.

No, I shit myself. I had to throw my pajama pants away. I go, I own the company. Throw them out. Throw them out. And it wasn't like, because I couldn't get to the bathroom. It was like I was going to throw up and then all of a sudden nights are jumping. Every orifice was exploding.

So I wake up Tuesday morning and I'm just like, I think I'm, I've died. I think I died and I'm on my way to heaven. I call a doctor. Doctor comes. I tell him, well, actually, my brother's girlfriend, Amanda, thank fucking God she's here because she's just like been translating everything because she speaks like fluent. I was going to say, how do you say, puke out of the mouth and the mud hole?

I'm like, Amanda, can you tell him it was like a lime green? Wait, so you're so close with. right now you and Amanda are like this okay so so the doctor comes and everyone in Italy it's just like so funny first of all there's no HIPAA in Italy the whole hotel knew I was sick everyone knew well they could everyone was going everyone was going up to my parents how is she is she okay one of the waiters came in like like I had ordered room service and I was like up and he goes you're up from bed oh my god you're up i was like one thing about italians is they're gonna gossip they're gonna talk they're gonna talk about it also because they want to know why you're not eating

their food like that's the hundred percent so i say i think i ate a meatball that wasn't cooked no the doctor was like impossible impossible never been done before in italy no there was not the food. I was like, okay, it might have been the food. He was like, no, it wasn't. He writes me a prescription to get like an IV and then he wrote me a prescription for. He goes, girl is insane, delusional, making up things. Hysteria needs a lobotomy. I love what you came for the meatball and they go, get her out. They were like, what? No. He actually made a face like, you're stupid. Like, No, it wasn't the food. Maybe it was your stomach.

How about you look inside? Because it wasn't us. And I was like, okay. I mean, it is 100 degrees here. I highly doubt they're storing all the meat products correctly. But who am I? Okay? I digress.

But a woman in stem. So then the nurse comes, okay? Just the loveliest woman on the planet. But I'm laying there and I'm like, this is some make-shyms. shift IV if I've ever seen it. She's like, I need a hanger. I go for what? Ever a nurse says I need a hanger?

Get the fuck out of there. So then she like hangs it up on the thing. And then I was like obviously nervous for her to put the needle in because I'm like, wait, what if she's not, she was the best nurse I've ever had put a needle in my arm ever. Okay. I take down the IV. I'm like, I'm like, okay. But I'm like fully incapacitated like all of Tuesday.

I'm like dead. Next day. I have her come do another IV because like the biggest death was the dehydration. Then on my like fourth round of broth in rice from room service, one of the waiter says, talk about gossip. One of the waiter goes, the whole hotel sick, vomit. I go, everyone in the hotel is vomiting. He goes, on the first floor, there's a couple of kids that had it.

And I go, what? I literally, I felt, because on the last pod, it was like, I have baby fever. The universe was like, bitch, you thought. Not yet. No, you don't. No, actually you don't. Wait, so the doctor was right. It wasn't the meatball.

Yeah. No, it wasn't the meatball. I had like a legit stomach virus. Kids get everyone sick. No, I literally. You cared so much about trying to eat everything in Italy. and we were all rooting for you. So the fact that this happened, like...

I haven't had cheese in four days. No, like you don't deserve that. No. You don't deserve that. I haven't had a cappuccino. Not even a prosciute. No, nothing. I literally, last night I went out to dinner, and I was like,

I'm so sorry, but can I just have pasta and butter? And he was like, um, yes, I guess. Like, I like... Also, you were posting all your Alba videos. you were so happy and then you just went silent. And then like my Scorpio brain, like I'm literally knee deep in the toilet, like vomiting. And I'm like, someone put a goddamn hex on me. Like someone literally put a spell on me.

Yeah. And then you're going through your rolodex of people that are on your shit list. Who put in a bet? But jokes on them because I'm so snatched. I feel great. You're hydrated. I'm hydrated. I look better than ever and no now I'm really taking on the world but I haven't had any gelato. I can't believe I haven't eaten.

This is the longest I've ever gone without cheese I think my whole life. And it's like and my body's finally functioning. Yeah. And I feel great. This is the first day that I'm literally out of bed. Like I went to breakfast and went to the pool. I was worried that like I was going to have to navigate somehow doing an episode with my fucking flat-ass smile. without you, but everything worked out. I would never leave you like that.

Yeah, we would just do live from the toilet. It's Paige Sorbo, Saturday night. Yeah. I was going to have you send me voice notes of like you in the bathroom. You know, that's the darkest time of your life when you're like alone vomiting. That's when you see God, I think. No, I literally said this is how people in other countries die. They get a parasite of some weird shit and then they die. I mean, it was like 5 a.m. I think like Tuesday morning. And I was like, can you get my mom? Can you get my affairs in order?

Can you please call my mom? And so my mom had to come to my room. And my mom, like typical my mother, she goes, well, you throw up so dramatically. She's like, you throw your whole body into it. She's like, I've thrown up three times in my life. Like, you're so. annoying she goes have you ever thought about not doing that stop no she was like seriously just throw up like a normal person my stomach muscles are so sore from legitimately like contracting to like

you know maybe you had an exorcism no honestly I was like okay clean out all the toxins and the demons and whatever I've been holding on to get it out I'm truly I truly there's nothing left in you're a blank slate well i got nervous because i was like am i like at this point pooping out my organs because there's just no way there's no way what's coming out at this point every hour on the hour i was throwing up and going to the bathroom were you like left to fend for yourself for most of this or was there always someone like patting your back no my whole family it was as if i was literally dying like there were even people in the hallway when my parents were like going to breakfast like how is she like the whole my whole floor now everybody knew about it they had

yellow tape all around your door i went to breakfast this morning they were like oh my god like sit down like we're so happy to see you i was like does everyone know but you love the attention a little you're like it's me no i did i'm the girl everyone's been talking about it's hard to be the it girl of this hotel but also there was a part of me that was like i feel like the universe was like you know what I've never stayed in bed on a vacation. And I feel like this vacation is so long that I, it was actually nice to just like, I couldn't go out and do anything.

So like I've never just enjoyed a hotel room the way I did the past four days. And enjoy is a strong word. Strong word. She's like, I saw every corner of the room. The room was spinning at one point. It's so funny because I'm also living in a hotel. hell like what's the elouise i feel like elouise yeah where like everyone knows me now i go down and like you know my order the usual some of the best like chicken broth and rice i've ever had in my life

well they probably use orzo that was so italian when you say orto you have to use your wrist well no they use what they use for risotto so it's not like yes is that orzo kind of yeah kind of It's not like your classic Jasmine Rice, you know, which I do love. Well, anyway, hi, how are you? Good. You know, divas have been going down. My smile update, this is going to sound crazy. And if you're watching the YouTube, I can feel like a millimeter of the edges.

Like, it's so embarrassing, but like, okay, I'm going to try to do it. Yeah. Yes. I see it. No, I see it and I'm not gaslighting you. Okay. It's literally huge for me. But when I tell you, if you just watch that, you're like, it's not good.

It's not good. No, like you're going to go through phases. The good thing is I feel like I can talk. Like, there were a couple episodes of Giggly Squad. I was like, I sound like I have a dick at my mouth. Take the dick out of your mouth. Hey, do me a favor. Okay.

Take the dick out of your mouth. mouth. That's an amazing insult. Hey, do me a quick favor for a second. Take the dick out of your mouth and talk to me like an adult. You loved that. You loved that. You got jacked up on that. You go add that to the repertoire. Here's an idea. Take that dick out. Well, this is my question. Because you're not doing reality TV right now, where are you putting all your good like insults? Because I feel like like like. Where are we putting it to your brother? Thank you so much for asking. Because I know you have a side of you that's like we need to let this out in an artistic form. Okay, one of the most amazing things about going on a vacation, especially with your sibling and their significant others and your significant other, is they can see what your sibling dynamic is. And Gary said something so heinously mean to me the other day to the point where I don't even remember.

what it was because I started laughing hysterically. And his girlfriend was like, Gary, that was so mean. And he was like, that's her love language. She loved it. Look how she's laughing. She's so happy. So a lot of my insults have been going like about people, but just to my mom and dad. Yeah.

Okay. And when my dad says, whoa, page. That was harsh. That's when I know I have to really rein it in. because he's like psychopath final boss. Yeah. And he doesn't like the word cunt. So if I throw in like in that fucking cunt, he goes, no.

He goes, that's where I put the foot down. Yeah, that's where he draws the line. See, I explained to my parents that like culturally in England, it's like a filler word. And they've like gotten over that. But like also I'm not throwing around cut all the time. Only when. Do it once in a while. It's very there.

Yeah. It hits better when you like save it for important time. times. Oh my god, it's so funny with the brothers. I also think people talking shit about people, there's nothing that bonds you more with your brother's significant other than talking shit about your brother. And I know like that sounds fucked up, but like me sitting in a car with my brother's wife being like, you know how he does that? And her agreeing, it's like the best feeling in the world. And it's true love. Like it's true family connection. I have this running joke with a Amanda that like when they first started dating I like pulled her aside and I was like get out

you can get out right I'm like run you ever root for her like root for her while she's fighting with him like you're like come on girl literally last night he like said something to her and I like looked at him and I was like what the fuck did you just say to her like I like no now it's kind of crazy because legally I've had to be on his side for 33 years and now I'm not. I'm on her side. And like on vacation, like sometimes he would say things to her that like

he would say to me and she'll be like I'm not your sister. And he's like right. Yeah. I can't say that. You could talk to her like that. Don't talk to me like that, period. I've been reading the YouTube comments. The comments are so funny because I've been posting updates on Instagram and my smile

and it's people being like, oh my God, it looks better. Like I'm like Day 27. And everyone's like, it looks better. And then the next comment will be like, it's really, really, really bad. And then the next one would be like, day 30, it'll come back. Like, it's so funny seeing everyone's different reactions to it. But overall, everyone's laughing. But one girl sent the nicest message.

She basically was like Hannah, seeing you on last Giggly Squad episode, stop covering your mouth and just like letting it go. Made me feel it was like empowering and made me feel more confident about my own insecurities like basically like if you could own being that fucked up and like normalizing it i could own my shit and i was like okay if that's what i bring to this planet that's what i bring but now look at me i'm like this is me now bitch take it or leave it you know wait the photo you posted of you and des and then you were like wait why is my smile okay so there's a des is special for international gigglers and whatever it's on youtube

right now so you should watch it on youtube so i posted to promote it and i took a wedding photo and he's mid-sentence of something so yeah his mouth looks like like um later than my smile no it was no it was exactly your smile he calls it my snarl how is the show going oh my god how is can you're like you're canadian i'm so fully canadian i've also been like such a foodie i've gone to a bunch of different restaurants because Des came to visit. Oh, I was going to say, with who? No. When I'm alone, I get so scared.

Like, I wouldn't even go to the pool. Like, I'm so scared. But, um... Wait, really? Look, even, like, shopping. I don't like shopping alone because, like, you walk in and it's just like, also with my smile, it's honestly added to my social anxiety because I'm like, I don't want to disappoint people.

Like, you walk, and greeting really gets me anxious right now. actually like I was very depressed for like two weeks like I wasn't even calling grace I know oh my gosh because I was like I don't want to bring negative energy to her I don't want to burden people with my face no actually you'd be surprised how many like friends I have that I just didn't want to tell because I didn't want to ruin their day yeah that's really considerate of you but you wouldn't be ruining anyone's day you have to let it out you have to this is a perfect example of depression you have to get it out yeah you can't just sit with it like a secret it gets stronger when you keep it in yeah you have to tell every but you know the show I can't wait for the show to come

out I don't know when it's coming out but it's really a great show and like production's been so cool with me yeah and we've like really leaned into this character but also a lot of now I'm like obsess with people smile like I watch something I'm like that person doesn't smile at I'm like oh my god that person has a beautiful smile. Like literally yesterday, this girl was like doing something. She's like smiling in front of me. I was like, are you trying to hurt my feelings? I was like, team, no smiling and making eye contact with me.

Because it ruins my fucking day. No, it's a lesson in being grateful because that's how I feel about like being able to eat cheese right now. I'm like, remember last week when I was just chowing down on creams and different milks and frozen milks and different aged parms. Like that was so nice, wasn't it? And like every time I go to my family, like, maybe I'll just try a little cheese. They're all at the same time, like, no.

But that makes me want to be naughty and do it. That makes me want to take it back to my room and just be like, they don't know how I'm going to fucking eat this shit. Well, last night, I got back to my room and my brother texted me and he was like, I got, I ordered two pizzas. And I was like. Oh, he's literally. Literally the devil on your shoulder.

Gary's like, I want to get crazy tonight. I won't tell me, buddy. Such an older brother, he's like, wants to stuff me full of cheese to see what happens. It's like you're his Barbie doll

that he just wants to put Sharpie all over. Burn it. Wait, the other day, okay, so the way like our rooms are set up, like we're three in a row. Like my parents, me, then Gary.

And like, The balcony is like low enough that like if you stood on a chair, you can see over, but you have to like get up on a chair. So every time I go out on my balcony and my dad hears me, he jumps up on a chair and like looks over at me. Well, the other day when I was really sick, I needed them to come in and like change my sheets because I was just like disgusting. So I went and I sat but I couldn't go anywhere. So I like just went and sat out on the balcony while they were like cleaning my room. and the woman had come outside because she was wiping down the like sliding glass door and she doesn't it got on the sliding glass door no she was just no she was just spraying all for gosh she was just

lysalling everything she was just really helping me out okay wait italians love cleaning you know she was she was having a field day she brought me extra blankets and pillows like She knew that I was like, sick. So my mom was out there with me and she, like, my brother on the other side didn't know that the cleaning woman had come outside. And so he jumped up on the chair and he had a, you know, those like things that help men put their shoes on. Okay. Yeah. Like the, what are they called?

I have no idea, but like men are so weak. You need something to help you get your shoe on. A shoehorn. It's called a shoe horn. Oh, yeah, shoehorn. It's like, help them put on, like, dress shoes, whatever. They truly, like, the patriarchy can't even bend. Yeah, let's study endometriosis, okay?

But my brother pops over his head with the shoehorn. By the way, he's turning 40 soon. Continue. That's a grown man. It's a grown man physically threatening people. And the cleaning woman, like, cheats. She was like, don't go into the De Sorbo's room. It's a very scary in there.

My brother was like, sorry. And my mom goes, no, we're all family. It's okay. And I go, it's okay that your son was going to beat me with a shoe horse. No, it's a lot of therapy going on here. Oh, my God, you. So anyway, that's a little bit about the De Sorbo family trip. Summer is the season of ponytail, messy buns, and braids.

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subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutraful.com and enter promo code giggly. That's Nutraful.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code giggly. Well, final notes about the Masseter Massacre, which is the new thing going around, is, um, oh yeah, Yahoo.com wrote an article and said, comedian says her donkey smile is because of, what? When the fuck did we say donkey? We never said that. Also, what does a donkey smile look like? Okay.

I'm being misquoted. I've never, then I was like, did I say don't? Because you know, sometimes you're like, things get taken out of contact. I've never said, I would never say I have a donkey smile. I've also never said the word donkey. I've never, smile and donkey together. Also, I would never shame a donkey.

Like, animals are perfect. And, like, in what context? Like, are we talking about donkeys? No, literally, leave donkeys out of it. So anyway, they just gaslit me to say that I called my, just say I look like a donkey. Don't make it like I'm telling myself I look like a donkey. Who wrote it?

Someone at Yahoo. Not a giggler. No, no, giggler would never. Also, everyone was worried about your like gangly and cyst. And did you see like all the responses about what to do? So many responses. I think the number one response was like it's a five to ten minute procedure. It's honestly not that big of a deal.

That's not the number one response I saw. Oh, what was yours? People were saying to hit it with a Bible. Oh, yeah. That one I knew. I knew that one. That's right. to get his Bible and hit you with it.

He's going to literally grab his shoe horn and be like, I'd love to. I've been waiting for you to ask. No, I knew that was like one of the things to do, but I don't want to do that. You don't want to do surgery on yourself? Well, everyone was like, it will come back if you do that. And even if you go and get it drained, most likely it comes back. They said the only way to, like, really ensure it doesn't is to, like, get the procedure. I think I would just go and get it drained.

Are we, like, becoming those girls in their 30s who were just talking about, like, back pain and, like, cis? Okay. Well, we're growing with the gigglers. We're all the same age and, like, this is what we're going through. We're just talking about that. And this is how you get endometriosis research money by continuing to talk about it. Yes. Yes.

I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing Because now she's like a part of me, you know But someone did say Stress and anxiety Contribute to these I know I'm it's kind of you can like Accessorize it maybe you could bedazzle it or something Yeah maybe I could build it a little home

Get in an outfit A matching set Put a little eyes and the mouth on it Be like hold on I have to talk to my gingling sis What do you think? What up, gang? There they are. They're coming.

So stupid. I really miss you. I feel like. No, I miss you so much. Like, I feel like I have so much, but like I need to see you in person. You were dead, but like, so I didn't. I was just like being like, it'll be okay. Like, I didn't know what to say, but I also, I didn't want to bother you because

you were dead. But then I also didn't want to like make you think I forgot you were dying. Honestly, nobody bothered me while I was dead because I haven't. been this, I haven't been this sick since truly like college, high school. I was so sick that I didn't even know where my phone was for the past week because I truly couldn't, I couldn't even look at my screen. I was so. Do you just say I jinxed us a couple episodes ago before the Master Massacre and your E. coli? I basically was like being in your 30s is great because when something bad happens to in your 20s, you're like this is the first time it's happening like i'm so scared my life is over but in your 30s

you're like i've dealt with this i'll be okay and then things that have never happened to us like the smile situation i'm like i've never come across this has never come across my desk i don't know how to handle this i think this is the end for me so the universe loves to fuck with us and be like oh you think you know no i couldn't believe i said i had baby fever and then you almost died from a baby The hotel like Matery was like a bunch of kids brought it in and I was like those mother Fuckers also there's a lot of people from Australia here um um no which is crazy yeah I keep saying but because I feel like that flight is insane unless they live in America but it's funny it's find to see what vacation spots people love like the British go to or the Australian versus

the Americans. Yeah. But Australians, I feel like are good vibes and they love to like have a good time. Well, I think the gaggle of Australian kids is who gave me this dire disease. Well, I love you are now in a full beef with a bunch of six-year-olds. No, I've been, well, here's the thing, because I got to the pool today and I go, which one of you little? slimy knee biters little rats yeah gave me a fucking virus

no truly there were because the number one thing I thought there's like a lot of old people at our pool I feel like I was like if someone over the age of 75 is getting this that's it you're done I don't know how you're coming back from it because it was I mean I thought I was

going to heaven at one point Anywho Well the good news I know I'm healing a little bit Because or maybe I'm just In terms of what? Just because not my mouth But just because I'm like

Maybe it's just because I'm bored in hotel But I've been like Watching some reality TV What have you been watching? Well I sent you this like long voice note About Rhode Island Did you listen? You did?

Oh my God I sent you like When did you send it? It was during your death spiral Oh then you know what? I want her wake up in the morning and just have like my opinions. But I've been watching. Wait, no, you did it. Or maybe you watched it during a blackout.

No, I feel like I would have remembered pressing play. Are you sure it sent? Or maybe I sent it to the wrong person. They're like, why is Hannah telling me? I got your screenshot pictures. It was before that. Okay, anyway, keep going. Anyway, we're just trying to figure out our communication.

Yeah. So, but. Okay, with Rhode Island, I love the accent so much. And I have to say, Alicia is one of the funniest personalities to ever grace our screens. And she truly is not trying to be funny, which I think is the most magical part about it. When everything she says hits and her being like, I love Asama, I love a fig. I love a cracker. I love a horse.

I love a horse. Then you find out she's allergic to horses and she goes, isn't that sad? That's so sad. Because I love a horse. Because she never laughs at her joke. She just says it. Billy, Billy. It's just her personality.

She's incredible. You've had her pizza. Pizza Mama? Remember? Yes. Remember Lucho brought us pizza to Radio City from Rhode Island? And he was like, that was, yes, I'm pretty sure. Oh, so she's a CEO.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her place that that's where it was from. I don't, I also could have made that up, but we'll have to ask Lucha. Wow. But I'm pretty sure you've had it. But yeah, people are like getting in fights and like it's just so nothing makes sense because of like edits. So like you just don't know. Yeah.

Anyone's actual stand. Like it's just so crazy. There is a world where Gagley Squad in 10 to 20 years. turns into just a reality TV recap pod because watching a reality show as an old. Old. Oh, my God. Why did I just do that to me?

As a former. As a former reality person, you can tell when the problem is bigger and they can't show it on TV because it's too much, it won't make sense. And like there's a moment where you're like, but what's the real fight about? that you can't say.

What was the reason? Yeah. They're just saying yes to everything. Even the reunion where they're like, Rula, why would you go on a reality show when your husband is mid-affair? Yeah. And the guy, the husband was kind of like, I don't know. I find that archetype of people like,

because I would put them in the same. Obviously, it's not the same thing because Jen Shaw literally scammed, like, so many people and old people, which I think is disgusting. But I'd put them in the same archetype of person where it's like, wait, but obviously people were going to find out about this. Like, why would you, how could you go on a reality show doing something so horrible and also illegal in Jen's case and think that no one was going to pick up on it? I could be wrong, but I feel like Rula and them, at one point, you have to look at like the little things people say.

Towards the end, he was basically like, the husband was like, well, we're the stars at the show. And him saying that made me realize like, oh, they got the opportunity to do reality TV. They want to be famous. There were indiscretions, but she was like, we'll handle it. Also, I love saying indiscretions. They use different words for when she goes, they were echoes. They were echoes. that's what um liz says they have different words for like just he fucking cheated you know what i mean

but um isn't it crazy how no they talk about their husbands cheating like it's the 1950s he stepped out he stepped out yes he stepped out like he tripped i'm like at looking at the tv i'm like no he fuck someone else like what are you talking about if you want to stay with your man because like what that's fine but i think what was frustrating people was that she was trying to play dumb when she's not dumb. She's not dumb at all. She's extremely smart. And she kept being like just trusting him. And I know it's because you want to trust him and you have a family with him. But they really thought that they could go on the show and just like deny, deny, deny. But Joellen, who by the way, everyone calls her evil. She calls herself evil. And then Liz tries to be like they just don't show the evil stuff. But like she hasn't really done anything evil besides like be like a dog with a bow. own when it comes to a guy cheating.

But by the way, like, guys now are allowed to cheat and no one cares. No one cares. They're like, well, she was annoying, probably. Yeah, she like, did she smirk weird when he talks? Did you think about, like, what she was like to live with? Oh, my God. It's okay.

Of course he should have cheated on her, the girl that he fully had paperwork with. Also, Rhode Island is a very interesting cast because, they've all known each other for so long. That's why it's good. Yeah. Think about like your high school friends or your college friends. If you guys were all about to film a show in your head, you would think like, oh, okay, she's going to be like this kind of character because that's how she is and she's going

to be like this. So I think they all went into it the way they think of each other. So like everyone's going to hate Joellen because we hate Jo Allen. But then they're on the show and America's watching and they're like, Well, we love this woman. She was never homeless. She was never homeless. Oh my God.

She was never homeless. I do love Liz, though. Like, I like all of that. Liz announced she's gone. Yeah. Because I think Liz was going to kill someone. Like Liz was like, I don't want to have to kill someone on this show. And that's why I'm not going to be here.

It is also like your first season of reality television. It's such a blur because you're, then obviously when it comes out, you're like, wait, what? Like, I can't believe I did that. And it is intrusive. It's extremely intrusive. And not everyone, once you get a taste of it, not everyone wants to keep doing it. So I like, I kind of respect her decision or she's like, I did it.

I like experienced it. Like so fun. It's kind of similar to like a Jenna Lyons where she's like, yeah, I liked it, but I don't like it enough to be like a full. cast member where you have that much access to me. Well, also, you don't know, you don't know what's going to define you out of like all the hours that you film. You don't know what moment people are going to be like, and that's who she is. Yeah. And Liz actually was really good. And then I think Liz had one of these, when people would fight with her, she would take it very personally because she was like, I've known you since you were born, since you were born. I saw you come out of your mother's vagina.

and you are going to attack me on TV. Like that's the thing. It's when you confront someone on a reality show, you're not just confronting them. You're deciding, I want America to see this accusation of you. And it makes it so much deeper. Yeah. And I feel like if you're on a reality show and you are the type of person to be like,

oh, I don't think of the cameras. Like, I just feel like you're lying. No, you're 100% lying. Really? You don't think of the guy standing in front of you with the massive camera. Like you don't think about them. I mean, you definitely can't control everything

because you can't be on top of it all the time because it's too hard. Like you'll forget like to control yourself, I think. When you film for so long at some point you're like, I need to let out my opinion. I think that they were a phenomenal cast and they did a phenomenal job as a first season. Phenomenal.

Show I would say probably the best housewife franchise in years. Because it's like their own culture. And also, you know, they were good. They make up fast. Like when Alicia freaked out on Rosie, because Rosie was trying to stir the pot. And then Rosie was like,

hey, I'm really sorry. She was like, I love you. After she was like, welcome to Rhode Island, bitch. But that's what makes a good show to be like, like, if they stayed mad at each other the rest of the show, that's boring. It's so boring. Get over it.

But the thing is, come season two and season three, people get really jealous and egos of who's doing well, who's not. So things get really dark. And people get blinded by anger. And then they do do things that are life ruining or life altering. And because these are their real friends, like I could see it being even harder. Like, they've known them for so long. Also, we have a reality TV update. Layla from Mormon Wise have skis.

come out as bisexual. I get one stomach virus and I lose all track of the Mormon wives. Wait, it's insane right now the Mormon wives online. What are they doing? What are they doing? Oh, it's crazy. Well, also, I can't like follow court shit, but like Dakota and Taylor have like a live stream going of like a, what's it called when you like ask questions, a disconteposition?

I don't understand what a deposition is because they're like, you don't have to answer any questions if you don't want to why would you answer any questions if they're going to use it against you i don't know and ask gary actually don't i don't he's busy like trying to hit people with a shoehorn no but that dakota guy is real deranged like he's real scared he's on another level he's doing really scary things like timing the timing the videos he posts of her you can see He just posted some video of her And she is very clearly like postpartum And she's begging him to just like stop

Like you can feel the frustration In her and that's like The craziest level of abuse that I like I feel so bad for her It's reactive abuse which actually They do take advantage of with reality TV Where sometimes they just show people's reactions And not what they're reacting to

But that's just me raising awareness Taylor is fighting with all the other girls right now. About what? All the other girls are mad at her. I think she had said, like, I'm the founder of Mom Talk. And then Whitney Levitt comes into the chat and is basically like founders, like multiple people founded it. And then Whitney's filming with all the other girls.

And then Taylor posts basically like, how could you, how could you from outside the club? You can't even get in. And it's all these texts of opportunities. she had that she said no do and the other girls said yes to and then the internet's divided because they're like is that a flux that you like didn't want to do gigs and the other girls did it like i don't know it's it's just so mom talk is in chaos well let's call a spade a spade maybe multiple of them founded mom talk they got a show because of taylor yeah yeah that's the only reason the only reason

they're on tv is because taylor had an affair but again this is what happens with reality TV. It gets to the point where it's like just egos. Like who gets a credit, who gets the credit and who deserves what. But you're right about Dakota. Like the first scene when they were in that restaurant and he goes, I couldn't believe you messaged me. Like I could just tell that he was a fame whore.

Yeah. Like he's just a fan that like got in. He is a fan. He is the biggest fan. He's not even a fan. fan because I feel like that's a compliment. He wants to be her. Yeah.

He wants to be the founder of Mom Talk. He's like a good enough looking guy. He wants to be a bachelor. That she messaged him and he basically was like, this is my, she's my like, what do they call it? Silver Spoon. I don't know that's. I mean, I guess you could use that in that context, but I don't think that is traditionally.

I actually blacked out. What did I say? Well, typically the saying is like. they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Like they were born with like a leg up. They were born like wealthy. But I guess actually you could say she's my spoon. I actually kind of like that.

That's actually like, yeah, throw a new spin on it. Take that dick out of your mouth and that silver spoon. Do you a favor. Take that dick out of your mouth and put in this silver spoon. from rags to riches no and you guys were not high right now

wait do you want to hear something really sad no the owner of the gelato shop in town passed away so they shut down the gelato shop and there's a sign

in the window all I could think about is your grandpa I don't know why and in the sign in the window it said closed due to morning and I was like

no Italians are so good at processing their emotions G. Angelo wouldn't have wanted us to continue without him for the week. Why did I turn into Long Island? Gangelo, not of it. Isn't that so sad? Well, Italians love putting up a closed sign. They love be back later. Taking a day off.

They're taking a day off. See ya. BRB. Well, I send my condolences to the gelato, the gelato king. Um, but anyway, no easy way to segue, but Layla had her first orgasm. Oh, okay. Which is so funny, but, no, she had her orgasm, but she also, she's by. So basically, like, men just weren't doing it for her.

And everyone was, like, pointing finger at her. Like, you have to, like, figure out how to orgasm. And she's like, I can't with a man. And then one day she woke up and she was like, oh, because I like women. Yeah, I was going to say. She has a girlfriend. She couldn't do it with a vibrator like before. Maybe I think she was, but she like wasn't, it wasn't happening with men.

So she has like a hot girlfriend with tattoos. Yeah. Yeah, I love that for her. I'm like so, I'm so happy for her. And if I could, I would. And if I could, I would. I would. I would, but I can't.

Then on my TikTok, something came up. I don't know why I get all these TikToks about guys on the DL. Maybe it's because I was on the DL in a past life. If you don't know what it means, it means. straight men who are gay on the down low. And this guy speaks as like a former DL man. And he's like this gorgeous guy who like is straight passing. And he's like, hey, as a former DL man, I just want to know that guys on the DL tend to go for like really traditional beautiful women. Like so we think, we just think about it like kind of like a gay guy. We're like, that's gorgeous. I'd rather be around that.

And he's like really traditional beautiful women end up with guys and they, DL a lot and I was like I have to send this to page but you know all these like girls on Instagram who are gorgeous and then they have these gorgeous boyfriends and then you click on the boyfriend and you hear him talk and you're like why would know the amount of times I've like followed a girl for years and I've never looked at their husband and then I've just randomly given a gander I'm like I think that man he's gay well because in photos they look so good together yeah I'm like a gorgeous couple amazing. Because they're face-tuning each other. There's actually a girl on the

internet. I don't even know what her name is. Like on TikTok, that's like a crazy girl, like a crazy like you should not go to school and just like get married. Like one of those girls. I don't even know. But she like fights with people on the internet. And then like they showed a picture of her husband. They know they showed a video of her husband. And it was so blatantly obvious that he,

It was just, like, sad. I'm like, they get, these girls get brainwashed. But then, part of me, like, my feelings were hurt because I was like, oh, so I'm not good looking enough for a deal gay to fuck with me. Have you never dated someone where you've, like, been out with them and you're, like, taken a minute where you're like, I think you might be gay. Never. The only gay guy that I ever dabbled with, I never hooked up with him, was one of these

guys who was, like, too masculine. Like, he was over, like, so masculine. And then when I heard that he might be messing around with men, he. like a year later, I just talked to him for a couple months. I was like, oh. That makes sense. That's a different kind of deal. And that's a different trauma response.

That's like guys in the military who are like super buff and tatted up and just the most masculine guy ever. And then you find out he he really tricked me. Some of these guys are not out here even trying to trick girls. Yeah, I like them to put it all out on the table. They're like, don't have stump that last season brought a shoe on me, honey. And I'm like, let's get married. Wait, I have to tell you guys, Paige and I, like, pitched this, like, show concept where, like, Paige falls in love with a guy who pretends to be gay, who is actually gay and she finds out later.

And people gave us notes, and they were like, but that's, like, it's not realistic. And we were like, this is based on a biography. This is based on real life on the ground journalism. One of the writers was, like, we just feel like Paige is too smart and she'd catch on. And me and Hannah and we're like, uh, actually, we don't think that. I think Opey's way too smart to fall for something like that. I'm like, this is happening to girls every single day. This is an epidemic that we have to talk about.

All over America, women are getting tricked, okay? But then it's like, is it better sometimes to just be with a DL guy who like understands your fashion and likes to gossip with you and is good looking? No, okay, no, I think that that's the whole argument of like lavender marriages. I think lavender marriages work. I get those. I understand if you want to have children and this is your friend and you're and they're gay, whatever. It's also, it's kind of like an arranged marriage where if like two people earnestly believe this is what they want, it can work.

Like if the guy is like, this is what I want to be for me, it worked. Anyway. Anyway, I have a sports update since this is a sports podcast and you guys have all been waiting for the sports updates. Is the, is the cups? I'm officially into the World Cup. Why did I just say that? Wait, you are? I was just going to say, is it still going on?

Des came over and was like, we're watching the World Cup. And I was like, okay. And I, like, made him explain shit to me. And then, like, now I'm, like, all in. It's so annoying. Like, I was watching it alone last night. but um oh i hate when you do stuff like that i know i have like a weird like hyper fixation with it you get so into random i know now i'm gonna k-hole now my whole feed is like men kicking

and now you have to look them all up okay give me what's the deal with the guy with all the god damn burkins oh so it looks like he is lip filler but he's just he's just from um Switzerland. So like men are just beautiful. Switzerland. They just have like eye cheek bones and huge lips and just like he's like six five huge blue eyes. Can't even look right at him. So he's yeah, he's just really good and has a good personality and he's talented and he's

winning. But soccer is just, I mean I don't really have any insight. I just didn't understand why every play they don't just like someone kicks the ball towards the goal and then they all jump and like have a chance to get it in because like it's so fucking hard to get a goal. I'm like why are we not just like I feel like percentage wise just kick it near the goal and see what happens. And does like no they have to set up the play they have to set up the play. I'm like yeah but they could be setting up to play all fucking game and then someone like hits it off their ankle and it goes into other goal. Also why the fuck would America create

football and call it football when the entire world was using the term football for soccer like well that's like us using inches in Fahrenheit yeah but but no actually the no no you know football is created in what like football like football was created in what like the 50s? Yeah, like football was already a thing. Like call it, call something else. Like soccer was, yeah, like the game of soccer was already a thing. So when they created American football and they're like, what should we call it? They were, a bunch of idiots got together and was like, why don't we steal the name of a sport that's already being played? Like, why didn't anyone stop them? Yeah, like, who was the head of the meeting that day? Also, foot and ball. In American, they don't ever kick

it. They kick it. They have a kick, but they have like a kicker. Why wouldn't it be called handball? That's a thing too. That's a separate thing. We'll come up with another thing, but you know, it made me think comparing the two. No, American football should have been called soccer. And football and soccer should have been called football. Possibly. Because what the hell is soccer? The branding is all over the place. It's all over the place. And it's because it's all the men do. Yeah, because straight men don't know branding. That's for sure. But with soccer, the men, like, they want to get called, fouls called, so they, like, flop. Like, they get hit slightly and they do the whole, like, rolling around, like a fish on the ground. They're your cat when you're away for a while and you come home. They just fall in front of you.

Or, like, a toddler. They're like a toddler where, like, they fall and you're looking at them. Like, are you going to cry? Are you going to cry? And they look around to see. If no ref calls a whistle, they just get up and keep going. oh they're sick they're liars and cheaters no they're really sick but it's funny because football yeah they have pads and stuff but football american football so fucking complicated they're getting

hit with each other's helmets like rammed every play and these are six eight guys that rammed get right back up run back to the play and then soccer someone's like kind of like hits another guy's shin and they act like that hit by a car. When I got hit by a car, I had less reaction. American football is like truly modern day like gladiators. Yeah, which and it's not right. It's not right because yes, he did get up immediately and go back to the line, but his brain is bleeding and he can't spell.

But you might murder someone in five to ten years. We don't know. There's a 50% chance someone's going to get murdered. The men don't have a good enough track record that we're taking this many chances with them. Also, what's crazy is like if he murder someone, he still will probably just get like a three-day suspension. Isn't it crazy really that like men commit 90% of violent crimes? Like, is that like, we don't say that enough just every day. That wasn't my first special when I talk about gun violence.

Yeah, doing the work of the people. Yeah, because that's just a crazy statistic. 90%. If only women were allowed to have guns, gun violence would be down 80%. Because occasionally we'd have a slip-up. Look, I thought it was on sale. It was on sale.

You said it was on sale. Now you're saying it's not on sale. I want to return this. I can't find the receipt. You're saying just in-store credit. Well, now I need to. to pull out my gun. There's a

before sale going on and I feel like things are getting sold out. You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. Thank you for all your support during this difficult time

that both of us have been navigating. You are a rock. We love you so much. And also we may have some merch dropping soon. See ya. Love you so much.

Bye.