Giggly Squad - Giggling About Fainting Dick Pills And Weed Pens

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

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What's up gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. What's up, my Galactic Gigglers? I'm saying, do I always say that? Yeah. Okay, because someone weren't up to me, and they were like, what's up Galactic?

Well, you know what's funny? Is that the only word that pops into my head, and it's like not Giggly Squad, coded at all? It's only G-word. It's only G-word in the English language. Quote me. It's, quote me. Check it. I want to bring something up immediately.

Yeah, this is our first second episode. Oh, right. Ever. Oh, this is our first second episode. Yeah, and I came with a lot of notes because I was worried we'd forget what to say. Hannah came with a lot of notes because we hung out yesterday.

Which was such a mistake. By the way, hanging with us is not fun because we will bring something up, start laughing, and then one of us goes, hold it. Save it for camera. So then Des is sitting there like, uh. It's also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us. I thought you could say in general.

Yeah. In general, it's not. Because Des was around, Joe was around, and they were just, like, not speaking. And I was like, I'm performing with my friend right now. Also, my thing is, like, we're obviously laughing. Just add to the laugh. Just keep laughing with us. Oh, no joke.

Why don't you participate? Tag it up. But anyway, so we're hanging out with Hannah. We're laughing hysterically. And then something happens, and she, like, looks over at a table, and there's a book on the table. And she was, surely someone has been in here. broken in, stolen your stuff and reposed it with other people's things. There was a Colleen Hoover book sitting on the table, which I know a man's not reading that book.

I, here's the thing. Sorry that I want to better myself in 2026 and I just was like, I don't read. I never read. I should read. And sometimes I get put on book talk and a girl was like, this is the best book ever. And the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out. This is my question. How much have you actually read it? No, I just got it. When you saw it, it had just been delivered.

I looked at it, looked up at her. And I looked at you like, I caught you doing crystal meth. Like, I was like, do you want to talk about this? Like, does your family know? What kind of double life have you been lived? Do I know who you are? Hannah literally looks at it and goes, what the heck is? I got like disturbed because everything I know about you I question now I'm like I didn't know what

you were talking about and I was like oh my god what and I was like that's a book like I don't know I envisioned you if you were to read it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine or self-help or as we like to do we just watch something on Netflix and put close captions and that's reading you want to know what it really boils down to I haven't felt this and I love feeling better than people yeah It's like one of my favorite feelings. And I haven't felt that in a while when it comes to movies and books. One of my favorite things to say is, well, I read the book. And I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years.

So I was like, oh, I know this movie's coming out. I'm going to read the book so that when I see the movie, I can be like, well, it was a little different from the book. Actually, people who say that are so fucking smart, but I'm that person, you know, when they always go, oh, have you read the movie? book, you have a couple options. Yeah. You can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow-up question. Or you say no and then they like explain the book to you which you don't want either. Or you do what I do and I go, skimmed.

Skimmed. I saw the first couple of papers. The last time I've legitimately been able to say, yeah, I read the book was the bridge to Tara Bethia in 2007. I never say when I was younger, I was an avid reader. And my mom read it to me. Everyone's like, what's the second episode going to be? The cool thing now, it's kind of like, okay, it's like a peer thing for celebrities who are really good looking and want, like, respect.

Like, you know how, like, Nickelodeon kids will, like, do, like, a slutty movie to be like, I'm an adult now. What is that? It's rebranding, baby, rebranding 101. Yeah, why do they always, why are people so mad when, like. When people grow up? Yeah, when, like, like, Sabrina Carpenter, I feel like, is, like, a really good. example where she's like, I'm not on the Disney channel anymore. Also, people don't choose where they start. Like, just because you start somewhere, because that's your opportunity. It doesn't

mean it's like should be engraved. People like putting people in a box. Exactly. So, there's all these like hot girls recently that are launching book clubs to show that they can read. I love it. One of them, Kyah Gerber. Okay. Another one, Olivia Ponton. Okay. All gorgeous stunning models who were like, by the way, join my book club. And you're like, like, oh, she's multidimensional. Are they meeting? Or this is like on the internet. Let's be honest.

I've never clicked into a book club. Right. So you don't know the actual logistics of it. And the logistics stress me out. So I'm not sure. Maybe I'll join Kyrieuiver's book club. You never know. Or maybe we're not doing a Giggly book club.

We don't have the debate bandwidth. That's actually, then I've really lost the plot. Actually, my mom, who's retired right now, has a book club. Actually, she has a knitting club. And another club, she said knitting is the best gossip. Like she gets there, all they do is gossip. And she couldn't go to the last week. And she's like, I have so much to be.

She's so behind. She's so behind on the gossip. Wait. Speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale cut article like? That was the book I wanted to read this week. The cut article. But I have the book I wanted to read. The cut has such small font.

It intimidates me. Did you read the article? I didn't read. I skimmed up. I skimmed the article. I didn't read the full article. But I read like a thing that did like a synopsis of it. And it was basically like Ashley didn't say any names.

She basically said how she felt after having a baby and then joining a mom club. And how it eventually turned into like. Was it like a friend group? It was like a friend group. Look, I'm not like fully abreast. Like I don't know what moms are up to. But I know that that is like a real thing now. Like did you have to get haze to get in?

People will have like Facebook groups in their. area and it's like if you live in this like neighborhood this is the group and then you can like ask the mom's different stuff stuff it sounds good in theory yes but in reality yeah a friend group is why we only have each other as friends like a friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities add in your hormonal you like just had a baby you hate your husband you probably hate your husband so she writes this article which actually i thought was, is cool of the cut to like have different celebrities, like, write certain, like, essays. Yeah, like, I think that's fun. So she writes this article. She basically, she does not say anyone's

name. She does not say the, like, the main reason why she left. She puts it all on herself, like, that she didn't feel included. There were certain, like, situations where she felt, like, left out. I didn't feel included as saying, like, I was bullied. Yes. Hillary's- This is our knitting club right now. Hillary Duff's husband. First of all, nobody's talking about the fact that we're talking about. a feud between Ashley Tisdale, Sharpay Evans, and Hillary Duff, Lizzie McGuire. Like, I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that. Also, like, I didn't know Hillary Duff had a husband. She has a husband.

She has a husband. Yes. She has a husband. And a huge Hillary Duff fan. Huge. Love her. Really, like, love her stuff. She had a song come out.

Let's go. Love her work. I do think, and I feel the same way with, like, reality TV when the ladies get into fights. Anytime a husband jumps in, I'm always like, no. No. No. No, it's not your, like, you don't need to. Do you envision that, like, he was talking to Hillary about it? I was like, I'm just going to post it.

Or, yeah, and, like, maybe she felt a little hurt, and then he felt like, well, I have to stick up for you. I'm going to get involved. I'm going to get involved. He basically posted a comment that, like, was since deleted, but people obviously screenshotted it, saying that Ashley Tisdale is, like, a narcissist self-centered. and like that she was the problem. But Mandy Moore was in this group. There was one other famous person. Oh, the blonde.

Megan Trainor. Megan Trainor. Yes. Look at us. I'm like, wait, what was this mom club like though? What did you guys talk about before it failed? Okay. I have multiple thoughts.

First of all, who did Ashley? Do you think Ashley got really hurt and she was like maybe other moms will relate to this. Other moms have left mom groups, yes. Yes. But I guess at that level, you posting something and not naming names. People know. People know.

People know. And even we may not know, but they know. And it was enough to cause a kerfuffle in the community. Ashley writing the article. I have to read the article. She knew what she was doing. Yeah. Like, and I don't think it was in bad things.

She's hurt. Yeah. She was hurt. and she wanted to express that she was hurt. Okay, you know what this needs? A reunion. You can host it. Let's get the girls together and let's talk it out like adults.

You know what it needs? You know what? Rather than reunions, I think we should start doing, and we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested. We should start doing more of like a judge Judy thing. Okay, that's crazy. You brought that up because you know how people always DM us with like issues and stuff? I'd love to like bring it on and like they're fighting and we will like pick size.

After you said on the pod the other day, like if you're going to DM page about your boyfriend, it's done. I got so many DMs like, okay, I know I should be doing this. But just this one situation, what do you think? And I'm like, leave him. You, I feel like you were Judge Judy in another life. Yeah, because, yeah. I used to watch Judge Judy all the time with my grandma. And when you, like, stayed home from school.

I was just like, this bitch got to it. By the way, back to my mom's book club. She said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it. So you read the book and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the books. And you have like a month. It's once a month. And like different people choose the book. So like she'll be like, oh, this month we're reading this.

But now there's characters in this book club. Are there any times where you're like, didn't read it? That's the thing. I'm not going to name names. But you know who you are. Okay. One of the moms is just there for the alcohol. Yeah. But it is at her house. So everyone lets it go. They're like, she hosts. She hosts. But then every now and then she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book and they're like, we know you didn't read it. You've never read a book. And she's like, but I disagree with your opinion. A classic 10th grade page. And you know, and you know, guess who's the most fun? She is. She is. But her husband. Giggly Squad is built on having opinions with no knowledge.

Actually, people have asked me opinions on like how to do reality TV and I was like, you just have to have a strong opinion whether you care or not. That's how you. you're successful. Just get an opinion and lean into it even if you're wrong. Even people asking like advice on podcasting, I'm like, I don't know what other people do, but I know that what we do should not be suggested. So this book club, her husband reads everything and loves it and it's at their house, but she's, you know, drinking. Oh, this is couples.

Couples. So they all come. Sorry, are your parents swingers? It's giving swinging season. It's middle of the day too. And all these couples come together and they've read the book. And my mom, you know, she's a teacher. She's an avid reader.

She's read it. She has an analysis. She's marked pages. My dad tries to, he always falls. Every month he says I'm going to read it. He falls off, which, you know, like many of us, it's where I get it from. So yeah, book clubs, I think, are back. Bring clubs back.

Just trying to rack my brain on what fucking club I would. ever join at the ripe age of 33. There's not a single club you could get me into right now. Actually, you're right. When I was younger, I did love like a volleyball club for socializing. Yeah. You've been really going to like Pilates classes though. And I feel like you have like friends there.

Like you know the people like whatever place you go to, you know people there. Let's just say when I walk in. When I walk in, I get the. You get a nod. I get a nod. And then someone's. And then someone's a little, like, I'm like, yeah, the bathrooms over there. Like, I know what's going on.

Yeah. But you have to say, I did, um, faint in my last Pilates class. No one knows. Because I'm never telling me. Please tell this story because it's so me. I'm like, when you told me this story, I was shocked. So I also, I think I hadn't eaten. And when I say I hadn't eaten, I think I just had one breakfast.

Like, I think it was like around lunchtime. Like, all I had was a burrito. I actually had a way. And then I had some French toast. So you had breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I showed up, but it was feeling kind of hungry. But I was like, I could do this. And the teacher was tough.

So it's like a regular Pilates class, or is this like a Pilates class? Or is this like a Pilates like fusion? Okay, I've never done this kind. There's, you know where there's the second machine? It's called like the octagon or something. It's called like the guillotine. Yeah. And it has like fur.

The one that has the bar thing. Yes. Yeah. The fur things for your like. Fur handcuffs. And I was just like, I'm about to get fucked up. Like I knew it. It's sponsored by Ugg Australia.

This is how I knew I was going to get fucked up because the teacher was like gorgeous, skinny, and pregnant. I would have walked out. The motivation just inside that woman's pinky, I could never relate. She had two abs above her belly, and she looked at me and I said, you're about to be disgusted by what's going to happen.

She was like, and how far along are you? I was like, it was just a burrito. Wait, imagine you accidentally go to like a La Maze Pilates class. What is that? I mean, I made that up. But La Maz is like when you go and like learn how to breathe when you like give first. Oh, yes, yes. I'm sure there's somewhere in California they have like Pilates slash Lamas.

You just know like and also she was like nine months and she was just standing there. It was like her fourth class of the day and she's like, good morning. How are you? And I was like just like by her head. She's like, how are you? She's stretching. Take a seat anywhere. She was gorgeous to the point that I was going to ask her, like, what mascara she used.

And I looked and I'm like, oh, it's just her natural, her natural eyelashes. So we start. And I was like trying. Hour class, 45 minutes. 50 minutes. Yeah. And I was, I wanted her to be proud of me. Like, you know, some instructors, you're like, whatever, they think I suck.

I don't care. For whatever reason, I wanted her to be proud of me. And I wanted her, I mean, she literally should be at home with her baby. And she's with me. So there was another girl in the. class. So it ended up, it was supposed to be a full class, just two girls. So you know, yeah, it got intense. You had a private Pilates class. Accidentally. The pregnant lady was the student lady was instructor. Oh. And then the other girl was like perfect. Okay. And me.

Hey, when you told me the story the other day, you made it seem like you were in a mat, like a big class and no one saw you slip out to go pass out. I didn't realize it was you and another person. Were you just like, Sorry, I have to go faint alone somewhere. Okay, so the first 30 minutes you do at the guillotine. Okay. And I like did okay. And I was like kind of feeling myself got a little cocky. Yeah.

Go to the second machine. And there's this thing called Pikes. If you don't know what a Pike is. It's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air like a triangle and your head down. Yep. And we just kept doing Pikes like to the point where I was like, this is how I die. And the blood's like rushing to your head. And the blood is rushing to my head.

So I think I was like shaking my head. head. So then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden. This is, the contraptions are, I was like, who, what sick fuck invented this? Yeah. It's a guy. Invented Pilates. Joe, Joseph.

Yeah. So it's this. Is that his name, Joseph Pilates? Joseph Pilates. He's Italian. I'm just kidding. Joey Pilates. So it's this wooden thing.

Have you ever seen that swivels? So you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling. that threw me into a tailspin. I felt really out of control. The next thing you know, I started to get light at it. And by the way, it's me and one other girl. And also it was the kind of thing where like, you know,

you want to do it right, but you literally can't. And then the instructor's like lifting. I'm like, I know what I should be doing. I literally can't do this right now. So I'm like. Also, once one body parts start shaking, you're like, and I'm done for it. Like you can't, I can't undo that.

Also, body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard. So I'm like fully like a baby deer just trying to do this exercise. And then I think I scared myself because I was like, I'm scared. And then I got lightheaded. And then I started having like a mini panic attack. And then you know. Because you're scared you're going to pass out. Yeah.

And then you know when you're watching yourself have a panic attack. Yeah. Looking around like. You're like no one's noticing that inside I'm dying. No, there's some. Did your vision go? That's always like my first indication. It all.

was like, wow, wow, wow. So in that moment, I had a bunch of different voices. I said, Hannah, suck it up. You're doing Pilates. Yeah. A pregnant lady is bossing around. You could do this. Then a part of me was like, call 911.

Call the police. You just start smiling like, Lenore. You're like, it hurts less if you smile. Do you know what I actually did? And I remember because I blacked it out. I started just messing with my socks. I started getting off the machine, just messing with my socks. Yeah, like, oh, I'm just like fixing something.

Yeah, my sock. Did you have water? Yeah, but it was also like the other girl was fine. Yeah. I mean, the other girl was like breezing. She was like, this is easy. So I mess with both my socks. I've ran out of sock options.

I can't think of another sock to best. And I know the instructor, it's not like I'm in a big class. Some finance bro should come out with a line of socks and name it sock options. Like stock options? God. Anyway, email me later about it. Okay. So you're like, I've fiddled with.

Is enough dogs? I need a game plan here. So I just go, I have to go with the bathroom. Yeah. So. How many minutes are left in the class at this point? You know what you don't even? Yeah, you're like, I don't care.

I don't care. I think there was like 20 minutes left. Okay. So I go to the bathroom, I shut the door, and I just fall on the floor. Yeah. Best feeling in my life. Yeah. Laying down on a cold stranger's bathroom floor. Nothing like it.

I mean, I was at peace for the first time in my life, some would say. My whole life weren't flashing by me. I saw me as a child playing with butterflies. Now imagine a D1 redhead saying, oh, do you feel like you're going to pass out? Head towards the stage in that exact moment. And you're like, all I want is a tile floor. I'm lying there and I'm just, I'm getting my breath. And in that moment, I know if I can get it together pretty quick, I still can get out of this without making a scene.

Why wouldn't you just say, guys, I'm going to literally pass out? Because I have, that is such a great question. I could not admit that like I was falling apart. Interesting. And that's my childhood. See, okay. Because then I'm not a good person. This is where we're different.

Yeah. When something traumatic happens to us, you're like, no, it didn't. No one noticed it. I'll deal with it later. Where I'm like, people should be arrested because I'm. feeling attacked. Well, it's funny, you're like, they're the problem. I'm like, I'm the problem.

Yeah, I'm immediately like, you're the problem. I'm the one who has an issue. So I'm laying down and then I realize, like, I can tell her I have my period. Like, I can start coming up with all these lies. Like, God forbid, I just say, I got lightheaded in your class. I'm sorry. And I'm like, I have a reputation out hold in this town. So I get up and I start washing my hands and I realize, wait, I feel okay.

Okay. Like, I think, you know how like. The cold water actually on your wrist probably. I also feel like I. didn't go into a full panic attack. You know when you feel it coming on and you're like, not today, motherfucker? I've had that before where you feel it and then you go, I can get out of it now. And I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor, but that's what did it for me.

Yeah. Get back. Like nothing happened. Just kept going. Wow. You just had like, then you were just like dehydrated. You weren't like. I'm starving.

I was starting. I ate a French fry. I came back in. Wait, did you tell your mom's story? No. I don't want her being worried about me. Oh, my God. But she'll call me afterwards.

She'll call me afterwards and I would be like, mom, that's why I have to eat seven meals a day. So I don't faint. And that's why I don't go to parties anymore, you know. But anyway. Anyhow. Oh, wait, can we just... You have something. Well, I just want to talk about men.

Yeah. We built a whole career on it. And I feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about men, which is hard to find. But their bathroom routines. Their bathroom breaks. Their bathroom breaks. because I didn't realize this was a thing. Yeah.

Some men are fast with it, but there is an epidemic out there when men take poops. They make it a ritual. A ritual. They make it like main character energy. They take a whole business day. They put it like on their calendar. You like can't contact them during it. And they also, they do this thing where they like slip away.

Yes. You know, like they're like, I'll be right back. And you're like, okay. And then four hours go by. And you're like, wait, what happened in there? And I feel like mothers probably deal with this where, like, you have kids running around and your husband disappears because he has to poop, which I'm going to be honest. I can't tell you the last time I took a regular.

A healthy stool. How nice must it be? It's so fucking easy being a man. Like, they're regulated. Their hormones are never going crazy. But this is the thing. They're not like in my head. It's like, oh, they're taking like these huge massive.

hoops that take forever. I don't look. They're on their phone. They're on their phone. They're just getting away from. Yeah. Which, yes, that's what I did during Pilates. But men do it all the time. I even think like at work, like, first of all, they're getting paid more anyway. And then they're spending two hours in the bathroom at work. Which I do commend to anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place. Like, talk about having a panic attack. I'll have to lay on the floor. Like, I remember growing up, even being in school. Like, I've went home sick before. because I'm like, Mom, I really just have to go to the bathroom.

So I'm in a lot. And I don't want to go at school. I'm in a lot of public bathrooms. Yeah. Wait, I love that you had to go home to or to be. There are so many times in high school, like, that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma, and I'd be like, you have to call the school. And she'd be like, I'm not even your mom.

And I'd be like, call now. My head, public bathrooms, like, that's where I go off. Like, I'm not disrespecting. No, I get to. you like nervous. I also feel like that's the bathrooms are four and I have to like but I don't I can't hold it in. Yeah. I'm just I can't be fake. Sorry can't be fake. Yeah. Sorry I'm real one. But I also I don't know. I feel like with the men with the bathroom it's um they get respect when they like you give them respect. It's like football Sundays. Yes. You're like oh sorry. My mom had to use the bathroom with the door open just in case a

kid like wanted to jump off a table. Right. Got for bed. I couldn't even. I didn't even. I As a child, I can't even remember my mom using the bathroom. My mom wasn't allowed to use that. I don't think she ever showered. I think for 14 years, the woman stayed unshowered and never peed. My recent issue, because I have a lot of public, I'm always in airports, I'm at rest, I'm whatever. I always run into a giggler in the bathroom.

Stop. It happens every day. And also, I'm always talking. So everyone's like, we can hear you. I was going to say, you're always talking so people can recognize. your voice where I feel like when I'm out they're like is that is it and I'm like yes and also if I'm with Des he's like big and white hair so he's like a shining light and everyone sees him but like even yesterday at the Pilates class in the bathroom I'm like well first of all I can't find the bathroom

I'm like walking on the hallways and someone's like hey I'm a gickler the bathroom's over here you dumb fuck and I was like I love you thank you did you go did you tell you that you fainted in it that was pre-faint got it no that I think about it so when you Back into the room. Did the pregnant instructor or the other girl taking the class be like, are you okay? No, I didn't make eye contact. I just kept going. Oh, so they had no idea.

No. Actually, it's funny. My memory, they probably were like, yeah, that girl had a full breakdown mid-class and then didn't say anything. But no, I go into the bathroom before the class. And this giggler was like so nice. We were laughing, having fun. And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to go in the stall. And then we have to use the bathroom next to each other.

And obviously, it's like pre-Pilates. You got to get stuff out. And I'm like, oh my God, am I ruining? Oh, my God. She thought I was cool. And then I, like, I like, farted in the bathroom. She's texting her friend. She was like, I just met Hannah.

And she's shitting next to you. Everyone has a, if you have a bathroom story with me, that's a, I don't know. I think it's a beautiful connection. Wait, I was just looking at our notes and sometimes like Grace will write notes too. Like, oh, this was like funny. I saw it. Like, you guys should talk about it. But she wrote a note and I'm like, I'm like worried.

I was writing in Grace's notes. Oh, because I was like, this. is so not grace. She wrote, when people misweet you, it's because they think you're better than them and they want to bring you down to their level no matter how much status or power they have. They are

insecure. I wrote that. I wrote that. I literally read it and I was like, Grace would never. First of all, Grace doesn't care what other people think about her. At all. That was our mental health moment. Oh, okay, sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it. But what a word salad.

Because I was really, I almost texted Grace this morning like, hey, is everything good at home? No, it was, people mistreat you no matter. Seriously. But when you're treated bad, you sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you. But then, you know, when you're treated bad by like a boss or someone who's like considered, you know, higher status or cooler, like in high school, someone who thinks they're cool as mean to you, and you actually realize it's because they see something in you that you don't see in your. yourself and they're insecure and they want to bring you down. And that's honestly the biggest compliment ever.

And now that I think every time I felt someone was mean to me, I'm like, that was a compliment. Yeah, it is. It really is. Like, if no one's mean to you, like, you're not doing enough. Yeah. If no one's mean to you, it sounds like you're being mean to people. Oh. You're the meany.

You're the meany. I saw a quote that was like, I don't think I'm better than you. You think I'm better than you. And that's why you hate everything I do. And I was like, oh my God, yes. Oh, my God. Well, also at the end of the day, most people aren't fucking thinking about you.

So everyone needs to come. Not in general. Like, if you're obsessed with other people, how they think about you, it's like they're worrying about themselves. Actually, not to bring it back to Pilates, but whenever I do go to a Pilates class, like, or any workout class or like just the gym.

I'm like going in and I'm like, oh my God, everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong or like everyone is so like judging me or whatever but they're not because everyone's thinking about themselves exactly and it's like no one's thinking about me because I'm thinking about me exactly and our last mental health moment of the day which grace actually did write um Chelsea handler oh no I had another one I added why are you writing under grace like well grace wrote something kind of inspirational and then I wanted to keep it all together look don't don't worry about my methods the message to my madness

Um, this is a real mic drop. Okay. How can it be unrealistic if other people have it? I reposted that on TikTok. Oh, sorry. Oh, so you actually wrote it. Yeah, I wrote it. The last one, shout out to Chelsea Handler, who just, what?

That just made me think of, like, that's why you like saying, oh, I read the book, because it feels like you wrote it. Like, you wouldn't get it because you haven't read this masterpiece. You've only experienced the movie. I wrote it with the author. It was a co-wrote. It was a collab. I was asked like what I wanted to put in.

You're like, I'm the only person that's ever read this book. Okay, sorry, keep going. Chelsea said, we neglect to reflect about how far we've come. Don't forget your younger self is always with you. That's just a cute moment. Also, I think the world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows. Yeah, because we are socially aware and we know how to like, be funny without like hurting people.

Yes. Because we have empathy. I can't wait to watch Nikki Glazer do Golden Globes again. Yeah. Chelsea can do it in her sleep. Nikki can do it in her sleep. It's true. I'm so,

I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars. Because I also feel like no one is even, like I haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how like women, are dominating hosting awards shows. I would say Amy Poehler, except Amy's too busy. Like, Amy doesn't want to probably. People still talk about Amy Polar and Tina Faye.

I know. Hosting or presenting. See, they're exhausted. They're like, we can't do this all the time. But you know what I also don't like? The Oscars is a man. They get a man for the Oscars in the two smallest award shows that give to the women.

Oh, I never thought of that. Because like the last guy I can think of hosting the Oscars. Conan, last Oscars. Oh, he did? Yeah. I don't remember that. Did he do a good job? We were busy.

We were busy during that week. I think he, well, Conan's likable. Like, Conan's fine. He wasn't doing stand-up. I think the last time a guy hosted it when I was like, he was funny. It was like Ricky Jervase. They loved like. And they like would never have him back.

They liked Jimmy Kimmel. They like Trevor Noah. But, um. Sorry, did I black out? When the hell did Trevor Noah host the Oscars? I don't remember that at all. There was a time where he hosted like every award show. He was like the guy.

But by the way, hosting an award show is very difficult. I think Chelsea's so good at it because she knows everyone for so long. Yeah. So it's so much easier saying a joke to your friend than a joke to someone who you're literally, like, I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person right now. I just think it's funny that like when the men do host, it's like, oh my God, Kevin Hart's hosting. Oh my God, Kevin Hart said no to hosting. And like there's no, it's never like a big deal.

Yeah. about like people i really feel like didn't make a big enough deal that it was nicky's first time ever hosting an award show yeah and she crushed it yeah like if that was a guy they'd be like he is just the best host the best stand up of all time he's like have you seen the share interview she i love like she comes out of nowhere and now we've said it and just lays down the lot i'm obsessed with If you haven't seen the clip, Shares on the, what is the name of Dax?

Armchair expert. On Dax Shepard's podcast, which people love, he does have a great podcast. He always has like good, interesting guests and stuff. And so Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on

and they were talking about like how, what a good relationship they have because they did like the movie burlesque. Oh, I forgot about that. And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Like who do you think would be better suited with her.

Which is him basically saying, I know that you think, I'm not good enough for her. And he did say, he was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with, but who in your head would you, like, think? And Chera was like, I have no idea.

Like, I have not thought of a specific person. But then she goes, I trust Kristen so much that if she loves you, there must be something about you that I'm not seeing, which is incredible

if I was Dax I would have been like okay and I gotta go because she's basically saying if you don't have the greatest dick alive which you probably don't

you should not be with her but also I love that I feel like he was too scared to have her on alone he needed to bring Kristen because she's like close with her yeah

to do a one on one no I do think like I feel like Christian was like oh shit Like is she going to say an actual person? Like you can tell that Kristen got like a little anxious, which like obviously. And then when Cher said it, she like laughed and was like, that was great.

And they were like clip this. This isn't directly pointed at Dax because we love men in the arts. But I just have to say a shout out in general for all the men that have podcasts. I do enjoy. Like I've listened to his. I do enjoy his the most of sometimes it's like too guyish and I'm almost like I don't even understand that reference. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Philippians?

I'm like, okay. What is Seattle? I almost got stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. You know what I isn't talked about enough? It's like you can get like boner pills like the gas station. Like, oh, okay, there's tax on tampons, but let's make sure you can get hard at 7-Eleven. That's inappropriate.

Yeah, one thing we need less of. is hard men. If you're soft, you're soft for a reason. That's the universe. Sorry, whatever happened to Darwinism? Do you think Darwinism wanted dick pills at 7-Eleven? No. No, actually guys say that they're really dangerous.

You should not take this. Because once I saw them and I was like, what is that? What if I accidentally took it because I thought it was like for UTI? I don't think it would do anything. We'll see. We don't know. We'll try it later. We'll keep you guys supposed to.

Can I try anything? And I'm page tricyallis. I was going to say, though, with men, older men who do plastic surgery, there's like another level of sickness to it when it comes out. Like it doesn't look good. Because I'm like, first of all, you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery. Like women who have bad plastic surgery, I'm like, let her live.

She's doing her best. When men get bad plastic surgery, I'm like, you didn't even need this. And you fucked it up? Mm-hmm. How did we get here, bro? Mm-hmm. And some of these... Are you referring to anyone specific?

Because I have one person in my head. Not kind of... There's just some guys who are older and looking funky. Like they haven't figured it out yet. Like Bradley Cooper. Riley Cooper... Like I feel like he did something and I'm like they messed it up a little... There's something slightly off.

As someone who loves... the look of an older man. Yeah. I want to see those wrinkles. I want to see the pain you've been through in your life. I want you to look tired. I want you to look tired. He's so, like.

But yeah, Bradley would be so hot as an older chiseled tired man. Yeah, like I would say like. You don't need to be fresh-faced at 62. No. Especially as a man. If you're fresh-faced at 62, you didn't work. No. And I want some grays.

I want salt and pepper hair. I want you to walk kind of slower. Yes, I want you to walk kind of slower. Yes. I want you to have like a limp because you need a hip replacement. I want you to not be that quick so I get away. I need to. Someone said flirting in your 30s is like, so is your lower back?

Okay. Wait, people don't talk about how intimate it is being like, where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet? How's your L4? Wait, what is up with men loving sciatica? I feel like that's like a word they learned and they just have been running with it. It's like crypto. No.

It's body version crypto. I haven't heard the word sciatica ever in my life. And I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that I don't even really know that they're like, my sciatica. Exactly. What is that? Also, when you're like younger, you remember Ariana Grande, I almost said Ariana. She died her hair brown.

Thank God. Yep. But Ariana said, you know, you got me walk inside to side. So when you're younger, if, like, if anything feels anything after you're like, ooh, he blew my brain's out. Where now it's like my, my, Lurbex-Oh, that's what that means? Yeah, he's got me walking side to side. What did you think it meant? I'd have no idea.

Like, like, side to side. Side to side. Whatever the line was. I don't like to look into the lyrics, really. I mean, thank God we didn't. I mean, thank God we didn't. The stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old. Did you watch any of the New Year's stuff?

Do you know that this is the first year I didn't? And I was home. Like, I didn't go out this year for New Year's. And it was the first time I didn't watch any New Year's Eve, like. Why do you think? And how does that make it feel? Why do I think? I think, well, I think it's so, it's for older people.

and I do feel like traditional like TV. Like if, okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one, like if Netflix had a New Year's Eve thing and it was like a bunch of celebrities that I know who they are and they're famous right now currently, I probably would have watched it,

but sometimes like traditional news places that do like a New Year's Eve thing every year, they have so much, so many rules because it's like, yeah, this is network TV. Like you can't say that. There could be kids watching or like we have laws and stuff like that. So it's just like not as unhinged as I feel like it could be.

I like to play. There's like the CNN one. There's the CBS and then ABC or something. I don't know. But anyone would go to a commercial. Then I go to the other one. And then it was like that one's in a commercial. And then I was like getting whiplash.

Secretly Ryan Seacrest and Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are like in a group chat. Like the day before New Year's Eve like you're going down. Like, you know, like to think that there's some type of rivalry. It's funny because they are filming right next to each other, right? They're in time square. I think also booking the gig. They're probably, now that I think about it, there's just so many studios. Yeah.

They're probably in this, are they in the same building? They could be. See, that's the reality. I have no idea. But I feel like also it's a hard gig to book. Like, because who wants to be performing? On New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve in the freezing cold in times.

Yeah. People are, they rip people apart if they lip sync and then they don't lip sync. Okay, I have a really hot take that is probably going to be rude. If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve. You should not be allowed to vote. Page. Because in what worlds do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America? Pages Sorbo. Those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can listen to if you haven't, on Monday, about some people just enjoy. What?

Events. Playing a diaper? I mean, what the fuck was that? Imagine, like, being so excited to be like, I'm going to go to Times Square for New Year's and stand there. It's going to be awesome. Like, I wish I could get a high from that. These people are jacked up. Like, it brings some joy.

No, there's something to miss going on there. You think they're AI? Yeah, there's something weird happening. You're telling me there's that many people that electively, it's fucking freezing. And once you leave, you can't come back. So you're not only signing up for it to be freezing for hours, but you're also going to give yourself a UTI. 100%.

They're just spreading, like, what are you? They literally interviewed the front row and they're, were like, I've been here and I'm wearing a diaper. And the one guy was like, I'm wearing a pad. And everyone in the comments was like, you don't have to. No, that's not, you've peed your pants. Yeah. Like no pad in the world is soaking up you peeing your pants.

Not to be like an annoying New Yorker, but I used to live, don't for jealous, right by Times Square in Hell's Kitchen. And at one point, like, I had to get to my place and they were like, you can't go because it was like the day and I was like no I live there they're like you can't cross this and I'm like I can't get to my house and it was like took like 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment because my ID said like an old apartment from the year before and it was I like couldn't get home don't get me started on the parade in New York City the amount of times I've been like but I live here and they're like no also I had an epiphany the other day that sometimes um sometimes I'm annoying

I think that's like in your 30s you start realizing like in what context just like you have flaws and that's okay I think your 20s you're trying to be perfect yeah then you be like I don't have any flaws then you're trying to like hide your flaws yeah then by your 30s you're like yeah that's me like I'm so annoying about being from New York like I was talking to someone the other day and I could just hear myself talking and I was like shut up like I just got my driver's license like I can't function anywhere but New York yeah and like I'm like Just like normalizing being like, oh, that's an annoying side of me that like we'll work on. That like New York is your personality. Yeah. I'm trying to think what's like the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've like clocked? Like wow, that's annoying as fuck. I feel like in your 20s you ignore it where your 30s you're more open to. Yes.

To reflect. Because you're like I'm evolving. There's so many more times in my 30s that in my head I've been like, yeah, I handled that wrong. That was on me. And that's maturity. And that was a bitchy thing to say. day or like that was just like a rude thing to do. We're in my 20s.

I'd be like, get over at. Can I just say something though? Like I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone. You've never been rude to me. No, it's kind of like a persona that like, well, you want to know what? You've never even got mad at me before. No. And you're always like, oh, I got mad about this.

You've never gotten like mad. Yeah, because I love you. Okay. You're like, you get away with so much. Oh my God. I didn't even. This is so long ago and I forgot to bring it up on the pot. What?

So a couple weeks ago, there was, you know when, um, randomly on TikTok, everyone was getting videos that, like, they were like, I saw this last week or like I saw this last month or whatever. That happens all the time. I was going through that and there was a TikTok that I had seen before and I, I must have seen it in like the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it and I like wanted to. This girl made this TikTok and she was like, she's like very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige. And she wasn't even being like mean in it. And she was like, this is why I think this. Like I just don't think.

And she goes like all these explanations. Wait, what did she say? I want to know. I have to find it. They're like the way Hannah looks at page sometimes. And I commented it and I was like that fucking big. So you're like, yeah. But no, people like don't think that we would be friends because we're so different.

But what people don't really. is that I don't feel comfortable with people like you. And that's exactly it. I'm like, I don't feel like, when I see someone who Don't trust her. Well, let's see someone who moves like me, you go, I don't need that energy in my life.

No, but I think it's a self-awareness thing where I'm like, I'm annoying about certain things that I should not be annoying about, like clothes and shoes and like I have to, where you, You don't, you don't care about that stuff. So it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you. That's why we're with men. Because occasionally you have something that's like pissing you off and then you say to them and their perspective helps us.

Yeah. Like we need that occasionally. But also with you, there was a second where I'm like, why does she like me? And then I met one of like your old childhood friends who's like just like me too. You like to surround yourself with like people who don't take themselves too seriously. Your brother is also like me. Who did you meet of my childhood friends? Stephanie.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she's outgoing, cool. Like, she's personality. It's not like all your friends are a type of way and I'm like a cold sore. Except the one dinner you brought me to and I was like, hi gosh. If anything, I really don't have any. I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is like exactly like me.

I don't have any. Do you know what's so funny too? All my friends growing up were always. like the pretty girly like hot girl and I would like live vicariously through all her like voice stories because I was scared do you know that I'm growing up my best friend from literally kindergarten to college literally my whole life she was like number one on the softball team number one on the basketball team and I was just like yeah she's a fucking athlete and you love that about her and you weren't competing yeah because I was like oh my god look at her go where she didn't give a shit about

Can I tell you my best friend in high school? Well, I got to high school in junior year, halfway through junior year, because I transferred from a tennis academy. So middle junior year, I show up to Beacon High School, raise my hand in a class, like crazy behavior. And after the class, the most beautiful girl in the class, like high cheekbones, blue eyes, comes up to me and she's just like, you don't have anywhere to go to lunch with, do you? And you go out to lunch at Beacon.

Like, it's like, cool. Like, it's a whole thing. And I was like, no. she takes me out to lunch immediately I'm like you're my favorite person in the world does a nice thing ever and then fast forward a couple months later she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking

you remember and I literally take her cigarette and I throw it out and it's literally so me and you because she was just like a bad girl and she's like oh this guy whatever and I'm like get the cigarette you're gonna die and she's like oh like we're so different but like we just loved each other and she'd be waiting at my locker every day

my favorite moment is just like watching you try and smoke weed. Wait, can I tell a story that I don't think we ever told that happened on reality TV? Me smoking weed, everyone had like, there was a weed pen going around at one point. Yes, it was mine. It wasn't going around. I was just hitting it. And we for some reason were like hiding in a closet.

Yep, it was, it was me, you and Amanda, you had just come home from somewhere. And something bad had happened. And we and Amanda were in the closet. Something like I was. really upset and i remember you being like hannah just hit this yeah just hit that i'm like okay fine and i'm so dramatic about it like i'm about to do heroin for the first time i put up to my mouth no idea what to do no idea what to do not doing it right you didn't even suck in don't even know how to do it was trying to do it then a guy i'd been talking to comes by sees me holding it gets mad at

me for smoking weed i then go i don't know how to smoke weed i didn't know what i was doing We get into a whole thing. He's mad at me. You guys are laughing. Wait, I forgot about that. No, I got, like, huge job. I forgot about that second part. I literally, like, stop remembering.

I was like, I don't even know how to inhale. And he's like, how do not know how to inhale? I'm like, I'm really dumb and scared. And I don't know what's happening. Wait, I forgot about that. I think that was the day that I was like, he's a loser. Also, I was like, I didn't even. I was like, we're 25.

We're going to hit the weed pen. You're fucking narque. Like, go, that was wild. of behavior on his part. I was like, literally get out of my face. Wow, that was a trip down memory. That was. I want to make one quick announcement to you.

I posted my nail situation. I got my nails done. I got my first Russian manicure. Do you love? I want to say, these women are scientists. Yeah. I haven't gotten one yet and everyone says once you get one,

you'll never go back. She did nip one of my cuticles and I, she hit an artery for sure. You like blood a little. Yeah. blood a little and it's kind of hurting and if it gets infected you could die but besides that i feel very wait do you want to know what's crazy it's like that's true no my friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure no people have gotten their fucking

feet chopped off because of like a pedicure gone awry yeah like a sept like you become like septic yeah someone had to like miss a wedding because of it which honestly great idea yeah but when i broke my and the way they create a new nail based off of just the like clay is yeah 3D printing yeah and it's just a lady with a like a little wooden stick I'm like how did you create a whole new nail bed like it's incredible the work that they've done yeah it is and I just want to raise awareness for like do you want every time I get my nails done I don't I think this is because I have anxiety that I like I randomly will just like shake. It's not good. But like if I have to do something with my hands like I'm gonna shake a little. It's the Diet Coke just raging through your veins.

I'm drugged out. I'm figuring it out. No. So I always think when I'm getting my nails and when they're painting I'm like every time I'm like I would have fucked that up right there at that part I would fuck that up too. Like it's so crazy how they can do it. Artisans. My final thought which is a meme that I saw that made me laugh really hard so I want to say it out loud to the gigglers. Someone wrote, does Ben Affleck only know two women? Wait, this is so bad because I am a fan of Ana Day Armis. I think she's stunning. I think she's a good actress. Like, this is so mean. Oh my God, I'm trying to be self-aware, but like this is mean. Whenever I can't do something or I think like, I'm going to be bad at that or like,

I've never tried that before. Like, it's probably not my hidden talent. I always think if On Ana Day Armis can be Maryland. I can do anything. Mental health moment of the year. No, that's so true. Blonde doesn't go with her. And usually I don't think about bad movies years later. For whatever reason, that movie really stuck in my brain.

I think because I was, you want to know, as I was watching it, it was going through a man's phone. There's so much lore there. But I think about it all the time. I go, on the Deiarmus, I can do this. And that's what we're going to leave you guys with. I hope you enjoyed our first. First second episode. We doubled up, double Oreo this week.

We're going to be different. Like, some days we're going to do like one topic. Like, we're going to have gigglers right in. Like, you have to talk about this. Like things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest. Sometimes I might not show up. You know, different stuff could happen.

We're free falling. We love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling. Bye. Thank you.