Giggly Squad - Giggling about fashion week, think tanks, and per se

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

Hannah has almost convinced Paige to get a pixie cut and we've been prepping for Fashion Week. shop merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Hello, my glitzy gigglers. It's fashion week. It's fashion. Wait, let me get my shades on.

It's fashion week. It's too much. Hannah's got me up at 8.30 a.m. I just opened my eyes. I do have to say. The reason I'm so awake is woke up to Humble Brague. Name drop. Voice message from Chelsea Handler.

did not realize I was going to the U.S. Open with her. Hannah calls me in a tizzy. She's like, wait, I don't like remember how the text went. I somehow miscommunicated with Chelsea Handler that we're going to the U.S. Open. And she's like, I'll see you tomorrow, pick you up at three. You know what we don't talk about enough on this pod? That I miscommunicate with everyone. That you just like flex on us randomly.

Well, I'm feeling a little insecure because you've been hanging out with Kendall Jenner all week. So like I had a plug. I had to do a plug. I met her for two and a half minutes. Yeah, but the way she looked at you, I didn't like that. She loved you. She literally was like, oh, that's my girl. We didn't talk about it because she is brunette.

Yeah, no, she loved you. And it's like when you hang out with people, you're hanging out with blondes. It's kind of like when you have a hot boyfriend. Like, I want girls to look at him like he's hot. Like, I want other girls to want to be friends with you. But I just want them to nair. Yeah. Put in the time and effort.

Right. Anywho. Oh, yeah. So somehow, you guys, I'm going to the U.S. Open tonight with my mom. What are you wearing, doll? I didn't go to the U.S. this is the first time in 10 years I haven't gone to the U.S. Open. In 10 years.

Yeah. I've gone every year for like 10 years. Oh, my God. And you just learned the rules last year. No. You want to know what? Like 10 years. Wait.

Do you want to know something? And this happens at every. sporting event in my life because then I sat down and I thought about it and I'm like, why is it impossible for me to retain this information? Because you don't care. Every year the Super Bowl comes or like some playoff games come that people are like big game. We're doing a party or we're going somewhere, get an outfit.

And every year I relearn the rules of football. And I think, I got this. This is easy. Not to defend you, but you have so many outlets. rhythms in your head for outfits you're putting together for the event that by the time you get there you're burnt you've nothing left to get i have to go to the giants game on sunday i can't figure out what to wear it's killing me i'm doing all fashion week stuff all i care about is this giant's outfit because it's stumping me we because it's night time i don't know what the weather is like it's a nighttime

game vibe is very different and then it's like if the sun goes down and it drops to like 60 i'm going to be freezing but if I'm there for a tailgate, I'll be sweating my balls off. I feel like ESPN, like, hears about us. Like someone's like in the network meeting, they're like, okay, the numbers are good. But Gigli Squad, the number one sports podcast in the world is really, like, we don't try to talk about sports. Do you think I can find a red track jacket anywhere to get shipped to me in less than two days?

This is the problem with shopping. I can't go anywhere and get anything immediately. Track jackets are trending. They've been trending for six months. Why the fuck can I find a red track jacket? Hmm. Interesting. I want a windbreaker. I want like I want something that I can curl under that I can wear with a black capri. And then I can decide if I want to do a flat or a sandal, like a healed thong sample. That was my vision for the outfit. Look. But now I'm like, I'm rethinking everything. When in doubt, windbreaker it out. That's what we say. That's what we say. That's what we say. That's what we say. Because the truth is, you're never too cold, you're never too hot. You can bloat in it.

You look like you're leaving at any time, which is cool, girl. I can wear a comfy tank under it. I love it. And then if you want to show a little decletage, you can. But then if you want to be stuck up, you can pull it up. You do a stud and a track jacket. And you can put hair up if you want. You could also put it down.

She's rich, but she's not throwing it in your face. Yes. Well, that's why the YSell Windbreaker is. so fucked up. Trackjackets just says so much. And also you are the fastest kid in the fifth grade. So it just like is a great callback, fourth grade. And I owe it all to these one pair of Nike sneakers that I really, I feel like they

never remade. The bottom of those sneakers are the best bottoms I've ever had. Oh, is that like the ones that had the bounce? A little bit. They were rippled all the way down. And the side was a pink Nike sign. But Hannah, it was metallic. It was like hard.

It was like 3D. Like you could touch it. It was pink metallic. I'm just envisioning you winning the Olympics and going on stage and everyone's like, how did you do it? And I'm like, you're like, the pink metallic ninky heel that I wore was so iconic. I'm not kidding. I love them so much. I got them the next year in silver.

Every year before school, my mom would take me to get my sneaker for the year and it stumped me. I'm obsessed with you. Every year I was like, I can't do this again. I don't know. I would call one of my friends who was, like, sporty, and I'd be like, what's in for sneakers? She'd be like, what's in? In your world, what are the sporty, what are they doing?

Sweaty girls wearing? Did you have, like, different gym outfits each year? No, we wore a gym uniform. So the only thing I was in charge of were the sneakers. You would have hated our gym uniform at MS-51s. It was yellow and blue. don't mind there was no gay behind that there was it was a big yellow shirt and not like cute butter yellow like in your face yellow and then blue it was shorts it wasn't go with my skin tone but let me just say

i love gym class yeah no okay so every year i learned the rules of the u.s open the super bowl and like horse betting those are my three that i like wait so now i'm worried as you guys know my dream is to be friends with Chelsea Hamler like that was my dream it's happened but now it's like I have to deal with the consequences of my actions if I'm with Chelsea men semifinals Tiafo Ben Sheltin I might get hammered

I think if there's ever a time for you specifically as Hannah Lucy burner Scorpio wait your birthday no we had your birthday By the way, still haven't gotten my present. You want to know why? Because I look at your present every single day. And you want it.

No, and I want to like mail it to you. And I'm like, that's my friend. I need to give it to her in person. I'm going to see her in person. Last night, I was like, Paige's birthday is coming. And I was like September, October November. And I literally was like, we have to, I would start Googling.

I was like, cool girl present. Do you know once a year I text Grace at, it could be any month of the year. And when's your birthday? And I go, when is Hannah's birthday again? Oh, well, yours on Google's wrong. Like, I always know it's August, but every time I, I think I gaslight myself into, like, changing the day in my own head. Do you know, Des and I have the same day? Like, I'm August 12th. He's November 12th. And I don't know what that means, but I can make it up. Definitely means something. Right. For sure. Yeah. There's like all this different stuff. Like, you can do like your life path number. Oh, yeah.

And you can like add all. So 12 and 12 definitely means something. But that's the only math you do. You're like, if you add one plus two, it equals three. If you think I have been written down, 1999. I love when you're surgeon. They're like, you're a creative leader. You're an adventure, adventure discoverer.

No, but they're accurate. You're a librarian. Okay, so what are you going to wear to the U.S. Open now two days in a row? This is my thing. My dream is wearing some, like, really cool, vintage, preppy, like, tennis-inspired, like, fucking sweater shit. I don't know. But I've been told by the people around me and my team, I have to be more subdued. I can't dress like a clown.

Like, they're, like, you're 35 now. Like, they want me to wear more black and, like, be common. I'm like, that's what I wear every day. But, like, when I'm on the red carpet. Yeah, that's not who you are, though. I'm on drag race. Yeah, that's fun. When, look, not just sound like 87 years old, but like we're not always going to be on red carpets.

Well, look at Jane Fonda. I'm sorry, I feel like red carpets are for any age. Yeah, no, but I'm saying like there might not always be a time where you're like, I want to go on this red carpenter. I want to throw a fit on this carpet. I think do it now how you want to do it. How fun. I do have to say because this is so last minute, it's up in the air and I know that stresses you out, but you, if worst case scenario, I skip the carpet.

If the outfit's just like not outfitting, we skip the carpet. You've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're actually like kind of murders here. No, okay, but there's going to be pictures of Chelsea Handler sitting. Hey, it's Hannah. Should we let her on? Wait, it's going to be so embarrassing when it goes, the Jumbotron's going to go to

Chelsea Handler and I was going to be sitting next thing. Yeah, that's why you have to have at least a good outfit from the waist up. Wait, should I make out with her on the Jumbochon? Imagine. That would be iconic. That would be a really good promo for a tennis movie. That would literally be Madonna Britney Spears in comedy. Like if you and Chelsea Handler wrote a tennis movie together.

A tennis lesbian commentator movie. And you starred in it. Tennis lesbian sports broadcasters. And the way you did the first. promo of the movie was at the US Open on the Jumbotron and everyone picked it up like they thought it was real and then everyone was like actually it's a promo for a movie we use this podcast it's it's just brainstorming incubator it's a literal this is Silicon Valley for girls wait not even speaking of but it's actually been on my mind for like the past two days I don't know why are we just never getting Taylor Swift's wedding pictures was that the gag hey, I'm having a thousand people, you'll never see it. Well, people were commenting. Apparently, Travis said, apparently, he said, like, the show was great.

Like, he called it a show, which made people feel like that wasn't actually their wedding ceremony. It was more like a... But this is the thing. If you're going to have a big shebang, don't you want to publicize it? Well, I don't even care about the wedding per se. I love when you say per se. It tickles my fancy. And I think more companies should be named per se.

Every sentence should start with per se, because it makes sense per se. It's like millennial L.O.L. You can end every sentence with per se. It's also kind of like a really cute girl's name. Per se. Per se. P.S. So cute.

Think about the themed birthday parties. P.S. just like they're all little writers yeah think about their embroidery so cute you have to think about these things what would we say? Wait I have an invention

for our incubator okay okay actually this is so page coded but I have to remember to bring I have this one pair of black capris that like fit me right that I might wear at the US Open but I have to remember to pack it

and I'm jumping on I just have to remember packet and that's the kind of thing like I know I'm going to forget and I realize like people will be like hey Siri remind me that doesn't work for me I don't talk to Siri I've actually never spoken to Siri in my life so interesting so like also I don't know when I'm actually being walking out the door and like if I put it in my notes I don't click the notes so it's like I want an app on the phone that's like put it calls you no I just want it like sorry that's Lois and happy birthday Lois so cute I want it to just

like be popped up on your screen like permanently like when you have important things that you can't forget at any time wait i have to go sign for a package or he's going to take it back i'll be right back go go go go go fall feels like the perfect time for a reset new routines better habits and a little more attention to the things you may have been putting off over the summer if your hair could use a reset let me tell you about neuterful neutral full is the number one Dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologist. And now the Nutriful women's formula has been upgraded to its most advanced version yet. It's 100% vegan, biotin-free, and comes in a smaller capsule size to

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I had to haul last in the door. Wait, your forehead looks really shiny. Thanks. I did a medicube sleeping mass last night. And I also popped a Pipp and Ball. I feel like you already started a fashion week, but like we have our first fashion shows together. Yep.

How are you preparing for the fashion shows you're going to? Like, tell the gigglers. The only preparation I'm doing is like, picking out my outfits like I got invited this is the first time I've ever gotten invited to like a chanelle anything really and I got invited to this dinner tonight and so I'm like I've never tried on more outfits more chenelle no I don't even have any chenelle so I'm like I'm like does this give chenelle and then I'm like is everyone going to be wearing chenelle or is that like not cool should it be like one thing. It's just relatable issues.

Stupid problem of the day. But I'm so excited to go. So I don't even, I don't even care what else I'm doing because that is my first thing this week. But I haven't really done any preparation skin-wise that's different from my usual routine. I was going to get a spray tan, but I like don't have it in me. And sometimes I'm, I can't do it. And I'm like tanish. It's just, I don't know, I can't. I know. I'm 35.

I am going to L.A. at the end of the month, but, and I am already thinking about the spray tan I'm going to get. Now you make me feel like I should have gotten a spray tan. And let's just point out to the gigglers, you've been sending me picks of red hair. Oh, okay. Well, you're a demon. Yeah. You're an actual demon. You waited till the last second of the last podcast.

I was like, amazing. Good to see you. Love you by. And you go, wait, whoa, whoa, one more thing. One more little tiny thing. Small thing that you'll think about for the next three days. You look like shit. And then hangs up.

And I was like, okay, my whole, I thought she was like into the vibe I was bringing to the function. So then I'm looking in the mirror like, this is all wrong. this whole type is all wrong and then des agreed with you that's when you know we've plotted and like you know i'm just kidding did he started like he texted you like can hannah please change her hair hugh i'm no better than a man i'm looking at pictures of girls all day long yeah like all i do is look at pictures of women and i admire them and i think like what are cool things that i could take from my from their life and put it into my life and one of the things that brings me joy is looking at different redheads, just redhead.

It's like me looking at at white cats. Yes, it's actually the exact equivalent. Yeah, when I look at ragdoll cats, I'm like, this is Paige's culture. Yeah, I'm like, my friend could do this. And I'm like, oh my God, she could rock this shade. I think I will go a deeper red. But I also had a moment where I was like, do I just fucking go back Brunette? but then the people around me said no.

Really? Well, I was like for casting because, you know, my casting for auditions, it hasn't been going well the last three months because of my master. But you're dealing with something and I don't, and this is exactly what happens to women. When they can't change one thing, they want to try and change another. And it's not the thing we're changing.

Wait, also, this is so stupid, but when you change your hair color, you have to get like new extension colors. Oh, they're going to say a whole new personality. You have to get a whole new wardrobe. You do. You are a different person. I have to walk into rooms differently.

I have to walk differently. I talk differently. Me with bangs, much more anxious. Oh, yeah. No, you're more neurotic with bangs. You have to be like, girls with bangs are smart. Because they have to prepare. Girls with bangs have something.

something hiding under there also i love how you only bring them out like when you want they're not for every occasion i just pretend i don't have them it's giving snooky right now that's me just being like and i'm 33 i don't give a fuck what you say do you know what i love that like i can't pull off but i want you to i love when they take the bang and they do that like side like slick side like short like okay well Well, it's funny because I didn't know anything that I was going to wear to the Chanel dinner, but all I wanted to do was like a slick back bun, like all the way back, like no part. Oh.

And then just like one bang. I don't know why that was my vision, but because I don't even have my outfit yet. Will the bang just be like, like alfalfa? I want just like one. Will it be slick down like like curled? No. Not like slick to my fore. head just like that but like that was my vision but I go on pinch all I do is

Pinterest sorry this is pretty privilege and I have to call it out she's like what if we just like a random this and a random bat and it's like yeah you'll look pretty because you have like a nice symmetrical beautiful face meanwhile I was on a zoom yesterday with grace my hair and a bun and I started playing with these hairs and I was just like braiding them new growth that looks like new growth Hannah. What have I showed but the Chanel dinner like this? With the right outfit, it's actually really chic. I have a bone to pick with you because, and I have actually been keeping it in because

I haven't even wanted to broach the subject with you. It's only 8.53 a.m. and now you want to start shit with me. Come on. Let's go. It's not. It's going to end up working in your favor though, but a couple months ago, you brought something up and you said, and we all made. fun of you and we said you were crazy and outlandish. If I had a nickel. If I had a fucking nickel. But really, you were right and he was a monster.

But Hannah, I can't stop thinking about like a pixie cut. Like a really short. Like a super, like one of my girlfriends has a super short haircut and she looks cute. I got goosebumps. Like I'm going to cry. Paige, I'm going to cry. That's my dream for you. I just can't stop thinking about like, okay, like, what if I got a bob?

And I'm like, but what if I did a different kind of bob? And it was really more just like, he, like, I don't know. And then I'm like, that's a pixie. Audrey Hepburn, like, and you just do all different things. You could do all your weird little fucking bang things. Yeah, I know. But like, not, it needs to commit. Like, I want to see the shape.

but the back of your head. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. It's not just changing my hair. I need new friends. I need new, like, I need new restaurants. I need new outfits. She goes, you're the first that's getting cut, babe.

And if you're not fire engine red, I'm sorry, we can't hang out. I can't walk in with a pixie cut. And then just my brunette friend, you need to be something. Wait, if you walked into the Chanel dinner with a literal pixie, Every girl in New York City would be have a pixie cut by the fall. No, I mean, that is so extreme. I'd have to really be going through something to just, like, do that extreme. But I've been thinking about it.

There's just so many factors. I'm inspired by my mom, but like maybe do it when you're pregnant one day. Like, it's summer, you're pregnant, and you want to cut it off. I just feel like a massive round face matching my stomach. The last thing I'm thinking about is cutting my. hair up to here. Yeah, your tongue is going to be too swollen. Because I gained weight in my face. First of all, no, you don't. The first place I came weight, my face. No, you don't. No, I do. When I got my wisdom teeth out, my dad said, don't look at me. He said, I'm sorry. All I have to say is

it's giving your cat journey where like you told me at one point you were like literally go fuck herself, go fuck herself, go fuck herself. And then one day you were like, I don't know, I have an idea. I'm no better than a man. You're no better than a man. I'm no better than a man. But it's going to take longer because even when you first said I wanted a cat, it took a lot of time. One thing about me, I have to do things on my own time. I know. And that could be three minutes. That could be three years. That's why one thing, I've never, I've never pressured you to do anything. But I do have recommendations. Yeah. Where you on the other hand will be like, you look like shit. I can't do this anymore.

You look like a clown. By the way, the beginning of Summer House, I was blonde. And no one talks about it. And no one talks about it. I didn't know I was blonde. Can we talk about that? Do you ever not know that you're blonde? I thought I was just getting highlights.

You know what? I didn't realize you didn't know you weren't blonde until one day you came in with like a super low light and you were like, hey, I was blonde. It's because I can't communicate with people. people. Remember when like J-Lo went? Kippavid just said J-Lo? Remember when Jennifer Lopez went like super blonde or like kind of blonde? Like when Kim Kardashian went blonde? That's what you are at that color. You were like honeyish. It's insane how bad I am at communicating when all I fucking do is talk to people all day. But like I can't communicate and I never wanted I always wanted warm. Like I like warm tones. Anyway, I have a really bad miscommunication problem.

I went to chiropractor yesterday. Shout up to all my good glars in the DM. They're like, hey, I went to Harvard. I'm a physical therapist. This is what you should do. I am going to, physical therapy is number one, by the way. I don't recommend chiropractor over physical therapy. Chiropractor was just me having some fun, having some whimsy.

Yeah, just testing it out, seeing what works. But the lady, like, my biggest fear is when I do stuff, it's going to make it worse. Like, I've got a massage. It made it worse. I'm going the chiropractor. I'm like, please don't make it worse. I got Botox in my masters and made my life worse. This is why I don't do things.

This is why I don't leave the house. Right. So I go and I've done this thing. They put the stem machine on your back. And what they normally say is like let us know when we should stop. Describe the contraption. They put this like cold stuff like an ultrasound on your back. And then they put these like stickers on and it adds like electricity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they don't want to electrocure. you but they want to like do it strong enough that it's doing something so you tell them like when it's strong enough is it like instant relief it feels like a deep deep stimulation i did something like that but it was for like to get abs you're like i did that on my clip sorry Alexa made me go and like do that somewhere on like my butt and my abs did it work i mean maybe i don't know not really i'm glad it felt good but she like i've done this before Or they always say, like, tell us when it's strong enough.

She, like, didn't say that. How many levels? Like, it goes up to, like, level. You just hear, like, beep, and it just keeps getting stronger. But she didn't verbalize, like, say something. Okay. And, like, in that moment, by the way, I'm like, she should say that. And then she's, like, just doing it.

And I'm like, does she know? And then it gets, like, really fucking strong. And then I guess I, like, can't be assertive. And finally, I'm like, that's good. And then she's like, great, leaves the room. It's way too. strong. Oh my God, Hannah. My back is like spasming. And then as my back is spasming, I'm like, do I yell from this office? But then I'm like, that's so embarrassing. I'm not yelling from this

office. Hannah, you're literally, I'm trapped, like getting electrocuted. Like, I'm getting a lobotomy. How are the patches on you? Are they like stuck to you? Like, yeah, they're like, you can rip it off, but like, I'm not trying to create a scene. No, I would have ripped it off. See, that's, I can't be. No. If I'm uncomfortable, I'm screaming. I have a high tolerance for, my back is like, like, it's literally, I can feel it spasming. And then I'm like, okay, she'll come back to check on me, right? She'll come back.

So I'm spasming. And then I hear, like, someone come into the office and it's like an old employee. And they're all like, oh, my God. So then there's, like, stuff going on. Happy birthday. He's like, surprise. It's been 20 years. And everyone's like, how have you been?

Tell us everything. How's your, how's your kid? Did you have kids? Did you get married? What was the wedding like? Well, when I left in 2004, I'll start there. Like, what? Every employee is now, like, in the lobby talking to this person. So I'm like, this is now, if I was going to cause a scene, like, now, like, this is way. Yeah. I can't. So then she eventually came in. I was like, can you make it a little less? And she's like, okay, good news. I woke up this morning. My back's not fucked. But that's just a glimpse into the life of me trying to better myself. How long realistically do you think you were laying there with it turned all the way up? Like five minutes. It felt? Like two hours.

It was probably like eight minutes. No. So you would have like escaped. Before she left the room, I would have been like, actually let's lower it a little. You know, that's what it is. I don't listen to my first instinct. You have to. You have to.

You have to. that's the only thing I listen to. Do you know what I want to say, though, now that I'm 35, I was voice-initing someone, and, like, I knew tea about someone that they knew. And normally, I would just be, like, wanting to be liked and just, like, tell them just to, like, be a fun friend. Did you tell me this tea? Yeah, you know this, Jane. Oh, okay.

Proceed. And then I stopped for a second. I said, you know what? You can't just tell everyone everything. You can't. And I've lived my whole life telling everyone everything. I'm trying to be like, okay, she might not think this conversation's as fun as it would have been, but I don't need to spread information to people who might, I don't trust with it.

Well, what people don't realize truly, the art of gossip is to actually not gossip. Because so many people like will tell you things because they'll be like, who's she going to tell? She's never told a single soul. So you have to have one person that you tell everything to. But you can't say it to everyone because then not everyone's going to tell you stuff. And so you need to keep your mouth shut so that certain people feed you the info. Like I feel like I've stared people straight in the face. listen to a story that they've told me about themselves and in my head I've been like I already know

like I already know this gossip I was gossiping with someone not even I actually wasn't gossiping because it was about myself I was telling someone something about myself and this person started to cry and I was like oh my god why are you crying like it's truly you don't have to cry like I'm not upset like I'm just like I'm telling you this story that happened in my life you don't have to cry about this they stopped crying and they said yeah sorry I actually don't know why I did that because I already know this story she was she was acting too hard they're like I think you never heard it before and she's like it was one of those moments honey I remember where I was what time it was what day of the week I stopped dead in my tracks I go never have I ever had someone admit to me

that they were like that they were scamming me like that they already knew the gossip now if i know something i'm not saying i'm not saying yeah i know so-and-so told me especially if you're telling me like a vulnerable story i'm i'm in the moment with you i'm forgetting that i even knew this you don't want to give away your source yeah i do feel like there's a lot of comedy gossip where like when i'm on the road with my openers Like I haven't been in the clubs in a minute. So that's the best gossip because like I'm not there. So I'm like it doesn't have to do with me.

Yeah. So that's like the best kind of gossip. Gossip about other people? Yeah, it's the best. When you're not involved, your friends aren't involved. That's the best kind of gossip. I think people open up to me and then I have this wealth of knowledge. I would never tell.

If someone says don't tell anyone, I wouldn't tell. It was insecurities of my own that I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough just existing. And you have to have unconditional love surrounding you, not based on good gossip that you figured out. Sometimes I've gotten some of the best gossip in the world. And someone has called me and been like, I know you have this gossip.

And I have been like, I really don't, what do you? Like, what have you heard? Also the thing, I can't lie. Yeah. You're better not lying, but you're better at poker face. Yes. Because I feel like I deep down in my core of my personality is who are you? I don't owe you anything. Who are you to ask me something that I know that you think that you should also know where you're nicer. One follow up question. You get it from me. One follow up.

Where you don't have that. No, I am, you know what it is? This is what it is. I'm too trusting. And you're not pessimistic about anything where I am. When I meet someone, I assume they're angels. I assume they've been brought to me by God to be a beautiful spirit in my life. And then I get fucked. And nine times out of ten. And it's crazy at 30.

That's what it is. I'm so trusting that I assume people will like savor the information the right way, not use it against me, not use it against other people. Because I'm just having innocent fun. Because the first person they're calling, they're saying, guess what the fuck Hannah Burner just told me? That's how they're starting out the story. And I don't know if it's also because I am like a tennis nerd where like my social stuff was like me playing mind games with girls on tennis courts. It wasn't like friend drama.

Like my drama was competing. You're all-girls school. Like, that's 101. You use information as power. My boyfriend in high school got asked to prom by a different girl at a different school. At like two in the afternoon, I knew by 2.15. Like, there were no bounds to my web. Like, I knew.

He was like, eyes and ears everywhere, babe. He was like, I just left that class. How'd you feel? find that out. You go also it was me who asked him. I was testing him. I go, it was me in a wig. In a mustache. This is before we had DMs, okay? We were old school. We stalked. We stalked. Like cyberstalking. Get a grip. Get in a car. Drive by his house. Literally. What? Also, this girl, I posted on my story, this this great tennis player actually who works for the USDA found, we were in the Eastern section.

Wait, the USDA. You would have loved this, the United States Tennis Association. USTA. Why did I just think, like, worked for, like, me? Milk. Like, the USDA. I'm like, wait, works for, like, a farm. Which honestly sounds amazing.

So you would have loved it because tennis was divided by sections. So there was, like, there's the Eastern girls. There's the Southern Girls. So, like, we would have these thing called Zonels where we'd be, like, the Eastern girls would compete against, like, the Southern girls. And it was fucking crazy. But also, we. the Eastern girls would compete against each other,

so we also had beef with each other. So it was just like really complicated and layered. But I guess they'd have these like little magazines where they'd put photos of like the rankings. And she found like in 2004, I guess I was number one in girls doubles in for the Eastern section. And I saw that photo. I remember like the young Hannah that like that was everything.

Yeah. To be in that little magazine and my face. And I'm just like, but like when you're in that magazine, you're like, how old? 2004? 2004. You're what? I guess I was like 12. Yeah, it was 12.

Wow. Time really flies. No, I know. Do you know how I know I'm old? This new thing is happening to me. When I see another girl, especially if she's younger, I like want to call her a nickname. Don't do that. Not like a like, not you sweetheart.

But like I want to be. be like, hi honey. Like I want, you know? Oh, yes. Yes. Like, yes. And I've never had that urge, but now I literally want to. What age? What age are you starting? Like, where are you seeing a girl and you're like? Maybe like early 20s. I just want to be like, hi, hon. Hi, babe. Like, I want to baby them. And it's funny because when you're their age and older women say honey to you, you're like, please don't do that. Yeah. Please don't do that. It's something that just happens when you're older.

You just like want to give them pet names. You want to nurture. I think it's Mother Nature. I think it's our biological clock. I didn't consciously decide this, though. It just started coming out. I'd be like, hi, honey. I think it's the thing that men try to weaponize against us.

Yeah. I'm trying to take it back. That's how I feel honestly sometimes watching certain reality shows where the girls are so much younger. I'm like, oh, but I need some message. Do you know how many times I've had to stop myself from DMing people on reality TV? that are younger than me. And honestly, I have any, I don't stop myself sometimes.

Oh, I said I fully DM people. I'm like, sometimes they actually do need to hear from me. I know what you're going through. It's going to be okay. There was one girl I wanted to DM like a couple years ago and just be like, don't let him gaslight you. Don't you dare? But I was like, I can't get in.

I can't get involved. I can't get involved. Not to tease, but my reality show that I'm hosting, there were moments where I was like trying to make eye contact with one of the girls. And I was literally, at one point I looked at her and I'm like, you're right. Like, it's okay, you're right. Like, I was giving them, like, I was trying to coach them through my eyes because, like, definitely not part of the job description for me to, like, take sides.

But I was like, girl, look at me, you're good, you're good. Don't talk anymore. You're good. Don't say anything. They're trying to get it out of you. I think one of the reasons I don't do it more often is because I'm like, oh, what if she, like, screenshots this and post this and, and, like. How many times do you write it out and then delete it?

I'm, oh, so many times where I'm. my girl do not under any circumstances because i've felt moments where i've wanted to like write whole paragraphs to whitney from um housewise Mormon wives sorry slow what is it slow Mormon wives the secrets the secrets of why is it so many fucking words no it's really it's it's actually infuriating the secret lives of Mormon wives I want whoever put that through and said, yeah, this is the name. Come to the front because what were you thinking? So that's coming out, but like there's a lot of drama with it, right?

Oh, I don't even know. I'm not even, I'm not in the know. Wait, I feel like it's coming out like today. Oh, is it? I feel like did it. I didn't even see any promo. There's something weird with it. Oh, honestly, amazing because.

Yeah. Oh, I'm going to make breakfast. I know. You're like suddenly of a purpose. I have a pep in my stuff. You want to know something, though, that I think is a good learning lesson for us because we are getting older and we do have these urges to reach out. We have an urge for human connection.

We've been virtual for too long. We forgot that we could actually sit together for this podcast. We haven't been in the same place. We haven't been in the same place. starting the beginning of October, that's it. We're back. You're going to be so sick of us at the table together. We're coming to the table.

Elbows on the table, baby. We keep coming up with spin-off shows. Now, what was I saying? What was I saying? That we yearning for human connection. Yes. As we yearn for human connection, I think one of the most amazing things about getting older is you get that urge to reach out to someone who may be younger.

Do it. Like I think that is the whole point. So like sometimes when I do stop myself, I mean, I stop myself for like different reasons because like it could get into the wrong hands. But like if I'm in person with someone and a girl brings something up to me, I'm grabbing her hand and I'm giving it to her straight. Well, if you could change someone's life, do it. I'll get a lot of normal DMs of like boyfriend and girlfriend's fighting and they'll give me the scenario should I break up with them. And I don't respond to some of them because I'm like, this is normal. You're going to figure it out.

I'm not worried about you. But sometimes I'll get like a really insane one from a girl. And I'm like, if I don't respond, this could be the whole rest of her life. She could have kids with this man. Like there was one. I can't even like really remember the details. But I was like, get out. Get out.

If you don't get out by tomorrow, like message me. I do get messages from girls where they're like, I know I should leave. I know we should leave and I feel like they just send it to me where I know that they're just like if Hannah responds it's like they already know they should leave so then I just go yeah you know what you're doing like I'll just like agree kind of like what psychics do where they're like yes you're on your path yes and it's very improv it's very improv it's very but also my favorite though is people being like I found this cat in the driveway should I keep it and I'm like yes here's an Amazon list for all the things you need to buy it's really not it's it's a four to like just wet food i got you i'll help you name it i'll help you raise it um also the thing with getting older you know when you're younger and like your aunt says stuff to you and you're like why would you say that like do you know even little things like you're at a family reunion and someone comes up to you and they're like can i sit next to you and you're like yeah sit like i don't go fuck sit like why are you asking and then i'm literally going up to low thing no but you know what

everyone's like is it okay if i sit next to you is this see taking it And you're just like, yeah, why are you asking? You're like, no, you old bag, sit down. But then I'm literally like Lois will be like finger painting and there's like a seat next to her. And I don't know where it comes from. It's like a guttural thing. I just go, can I sit next to you?

And she looks at me, she's like, bitch, sit down. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Bitch, why are you asking? Sit the fuck down. And I'm like, is it okay if Auntie Hannah may plop a squad next to you? She gets I'm like

Is this so you're taking Lolo? I am Every older person that Ask me weird shit I'm doing You got so big You got you're big I'll stop saying that to people

You were so little And now you're so big Yeah no shit I think Lois is a really good reminder for us That like we're not geriatric were not moms yet, so we have to remember, like...

Get it together. Yeah, get it together. It was Lois's birthday yesterday. She's four years old. Time flies. And Jeannie's TikToks have been going viral. When you're unemployed, truly. I wanted to text her so bad.

Happy birthday. Like, I searched Lois in my phone. And then I'm like, oh, I have to go through her mom. I'm like, Jeannie, get the phone to Lois. I know you're her legal guardian, but it's... You pass the phone. Also, she was just stuffing her face with spaghetti. I'm like, you're so, you're such a giggler.

That's so, such a birthday energy. Because we come up with business ideas on this pod, I was like, Jeannie. I have the best fucking idea, like the best invention. Because they'll eat their spaghetti and then it's, they take the phone. It gets everywhere. There's spaghetti all over the house they were staying at. Why is that? Do, am I delusional that I think like...

Your kid's going to be neat. Your kid's going to know how to use a fork and knife out of the room? I just think I'm like so delusional. Not my, not maybe my son. No, how misogynistic of me? Oh my God. No, I just think that my daughter's going to come out like perfect. What are the classes they take to like know how to use which fork to use?

She won't have to take them. She just knows. Like etiquette. She teaches them. She's a four-year-old baby. genius. She's like, tuck, your shirt in. Obviously, it's going to happen. I'm going to have kids and they're going to make a mess. But I just feel like my daughter is going to be like the least messy of the messy kids. The gigglers are on. Cannot wait to see what comes out of you because

there's a 50-50 chance. And neither can I. Oh yeah. I was like spaghetti is and the red sauce that gets everywhere. I'm like, what if we invented a sauce that didn't die. And she was like, yeah, it's called pasta with butter. And I'm like, you're fucking good. I thought you were like going to try and take the red. I'm like, how are we taking the red out of tomato? And that is just clear. And that's just got it.

Olive oil. But no, like kids' favorite food is like the most diabolical. It gets everywhere, the marinera sauce. That's the one thing Italians. to work on. Pasta with butter, I mean, I'll always come back to her. Do you put a little parmesan on it or no? A little. Oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, drown it. Honey, I'm using so much butter and parmesan cheese. Your head would spend, yeah, it's almost like, inedible. I love that. It's the best. I love that. I don't know if this

is on your algorithm and it's probably not, but I feel like it's going a little bit viral, but there's this like teenage boy i think he's a teenage boy honestly i haven't looked into it but he said that he he made like a serious video that like he thinks he could beat like a chimpanzee in a fight also why are you trying to hurt an animal where's pita people were like stitching the video like in no situation like could you be a chimpanzee and i feel like it's becoming the new like i can land a plane like you really think i couldn't land a plane like I could land this plane and I don't know why I and I almost like my comment got deleted what did you say like he made like a follow-up video of like no this is why I could

beat a chimpanzee and I just commented then do it quit quit making tic-tacks about it this is the plot of planet of the apes okay it's start I tell him to watch plan of the apes the world is going to be run by apes because all the men tried to fight them and apes were like, what are you doing? But one of the reasons I love when things like this happen on the internet when these like niche random videos are like viral is because some of the comments are so funny and somebody commented and I don't know why this made me laugh so hard but he was like a chimp would absolutely park you dude like and I you just imagine a cheap chimp being like let me go bro let me go. He would put you in the ground like there's also what's with the violence like

no men like that's how they measure i think i think that's something in their own insecurity to like measure their worth based on how strong physically they are the other thing i like about older men is like scientifically their testosterone is leveling out yeah i would say i have the same amount of testosterone as any man in their 40s you are just a 40 year old man i look at He am. It's actually gross. Speaking of testosterone, actually that this is not a segue. I was trying, but I can't, I can't yes end it.

I'm a little nervous about the fashion show tomorrow because there's something about when I'm with you in public settings, I get giddy. Do you know when I get like, I'll excite I'm talking everyone. And when I'm at the show, like I feel like I'm going to cheer. Dare I say we drowned out the noise. Just you and I when we're there. Do you have any rules for me etiquette-wise?

Because I don't want to embarrass you in front of people. Like, I know I do. Well, you can't cheer. But, like, if I like something, I can't be like, yes, honey. Okay. Yes. This is actually a really good debate that I don't think I've seen anyone truly talk about. I think you have to go with the vibe of the show.

Yeah, it's like the U.S. Open. Like, see what other people are doing and follow the salmon. It's more like it has to be. an internal vibe check of like I could yell right now and it would be received well. Yeah. I would never, even if it was. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Yes. Like I'm never sitting at a runway show and yelling. But like if you make eye contact with a model that you know. A smile. But I'm clapping. I'm always clapping. I'm not not cheering them on. I'm like, that's my girl.

I'm not like sitting at them and being like, that's your walk. Like, no, I'm cheering. Yes, you're cheering. But I'm not making it vocal. I think that's, I think it's a little like. It's the sports in me where it's like you have to, you're like, yes, let's go, babe. Come on. Like one time I was at a fashion show and it was like very, very intimate.

Like it was not a lot of people at all. There was like two separate rooms. You're like, it was a dinner. Yeah. It was an event where people were eating. And this one girl was like yelling the whole time. And I'm like, it's not even the vibe here. You could just say my name.

You could just say my name. But this is the thing with fashion shows. The music's loud. Like when we went to Michael Coors, it was loud. I think because it's not my first, it was just my first show. I was unaware that people like don't react. Like if I'm at the Victoria Seeker fashion show, yes. You're yelling.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. But also, we don't have to be on a wind tour when people walk down. You don't have to like have a poker face. but also I'm rarely raising my I'm rarely yeah name another situation where I'm yelling like you've literally yelled at men and there's not going to be any like man and that's it I'm only raising my voice at a man in any other situation I'm not making no yeah that's such a good

point so but also like Michael Corr is this is the third year they've invited me so like I clearly haven't offended anyone I love them to death I love the team love Michael like sometimes Sometimes it's good to be in the background. In certain situations, yes. You're really good. You know when to step back. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, I'm actually leaving.

I'm so in the background. I'm going home. Sometimes it's okay to be an extra. Before we leave, I just wanted to say, Daphne is launching the St. Jude T-shirt because I am the childhood cancer awareness ambassador. And I've partnered with St. Jude. And we're going to do like a bunch of different things throughout the year.

but the first thing was Daphne making this T-shirt. So they're going, they should be online today. Is it a Hannity? It's a Hannity with the St. Jude logo. And I just have to tell this really quick story because, like, I love Daphne, the label and the cat. Because there's so many different things that happen that are fun and just, like, funny that you're just like in what world. So we were, like, mocking up this T-shirt and we were, like, doing different things. And at one point we like wrote like, okay, St. Jude logo here.

And we're like, okay, let's see like how that would look. Let's like make it. And when we got it back, it said St. Jude logo here. Okay, Nike once did a like tennis thing where it said like logo here. And it was like iconic. It's kind of like the Mark Jacobs where they were like the tote bag. Yes. So maybe it's like, look, someone.

And I was like, I don't know if this is going to work. But there were just so many funny things like that that will happen. Daphne but and that's a startup and that's a startup and I'm so excited about this because when I first started Daphne I was like thinking about what charity yeah would make the most sense for us to partner with and someone something happened and someone had said St. Jude and I was like that's so weird I have an email from someone from St. Jude for something so different and it just felt very like universe telling me so I like reached out. to them and we partnered together and so I'm really excited about this t-shirt.

I love that so much and because it's the Hannity, let me know any events I can come to to represent my brand. And be your involvement. Well, that's amazing. Final question. Shout out St. Jude is fringe for fall. Are we doing it or not? Fringe for fall.

I feel like fringe is always fall for fall. Okay. It's not too whimsical. Like, you know, if you like turn and like hit someone with your friend. Like, is it too much? No, you can do fringe. Okay. Here's what I'll say.

I haven't bought anything fringe yet. But go off. Pop off, Queen. Okay. You heard it from the source. Guys, we love you so much. Have an amazing weekend. I'll see you at the U.S. Open on their all weekend.

Two days in a row. Love you guys. Talk to you later. Bye.