Giggly Squad - Giggling about hamptons sleepovers, adoption, and adrenaline

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

We learned a lot about each other this weekend and we have a special announcement.Special thanks to Dunkin' for making this episode possible. #sponsoredbydunkinwatch our youtube seriessign up for our ...newsletterget merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 One of my favorite things about showing up to a summer function is bringing Vizzy Hard Seltzer. Not only is Vizzi Hard Seltzer only 100 calories per each 355 milliliter can, but it's also packed with dual flavors in each can. Their newest flavor is cream pop and they have three flavors in each pack, orange, strawberry and raspberry cream pop. It's the perfect blend of vanilla and fruit flavors. So the next time you want to show up to a summer function with the perfect, accessory bring vizzi hard seltzer find vizzi at a retailer near you for more info follow vizzi on instagram at vizzi hard seltzer c a must be legal drinking age i think about the last time i got a paper cut or nicked my finger while chopping up anything i took care of it right away but when
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Starting point is 00:01:38 We had one weekend in Long Island that wasn't filmed for television, and we're new people now. I'm laughing because we just recorded the intro, and then I realized I wasn't, in fact, recording, which is the main part of doing a podcast, and prior to that, I forgot my microphone, which is also another main point of doing a podcast. But you know what? at least we're here and we're trying we're thriving we're trying our best the the one thing i know you guys know we love a theme this last weekend page comes to visit and by the way her and you and does haven't like spent multiple days back to back together no no we've never vacationed together the scorpios were scorpioing my favorite point of the night was we weren't sure what to do
Starting point is 00:02:24 and does goes could we just sit and talk maybe And Paige goes, actually, I would love that. Actually, that's exactly what I want to do. That was actually so sweet when he said that because it was like, can't we just like get to know each other? You know, like, can't we just? My line of the weekend was actually said by Hannah Lucy Burner. I'd be like, you know what I'm going to say. And it was, Paige's thirst for knowledge cannot be quenched.
Starting point is 00:02:59 So the point thing is, we're hanging out all day. You know, you think you're going to run out material. Something about Paige is she doesn't care who you're talking about. If there is a story to be said, she is. I'm seated. She's seated? She'll be like, but why did his cousin say that to her? Well, if my friend is telling me a part of their life and I'm not directly correlated or into,
Starting point is 00:03:26 that has nothing, that has no bearing. on my listening skills. Some would argue drama's more fun when you're not involved because you have no skin in the game. And that's what I love. And it's funny because Desmond talk about something random and you'd be like, wait, we're going to need to backtrack. And why would she do that to him?
Starting point is 00:03:43 And your thirst for knowledge is unquenchable. And I feel like there are times where I was like, let's deep dive into her parents. Let's take a moment and see why she acts the way she acts. And maybe it's not her fault. I also would, like, bring up different topics throughout the day. Whenever I'd say something, you'd be like, oh, yes, we're going to have to dive in. I'm like, there's not one thing that you don't find a way to talk about. And maybe that's why we have a podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:11 And wait, here's another thing. We recycled the same stories over the past seven years of our friendship. So if you thought we were just doing new information, it was... The classics. We obviously brought out the classics. You got to play the same. The classics. Also, we were in a new, like, we were in a new background, a new backdrop, so, like,
Starting point is 00:04:36 we have to see how the story holds up. And nature over nurture, sometimes you're in the wild, something in front of you, reminds you of something, and you're like, and I forgot to tell you. Also, sometimes when you're in a different environment, you might have a different perspective on the same story, and it might just bring a new, yeah, perspective in life. And that's, and we're open to all different ways of approaching a story. Because we're journalists. Because we're journalists.
Starting point is 00:05:01 There was one time I don't even know what we were talking about. And Dez goes, a page doesn't want to know that. And you look at him and you go, actually, she does. Her source for knowledge is unquenchable. Oh, but then also I felt like you'd had to do. This is so married couple of me and Des. Like I forget. But like every time I tell a story, he interrupts being like, no, that's not what
Starting point is 00:05:28 happen. But then if I tell him to tell the story, he says, no, you tell the story. And that's marriage. There is a lot of catmouse with you guys. No pun intended. So what's your opinion of our marriage after being with us for 48 hours? I have to say, we keep each other on each other's toes. It's like, are they flirting? Are they flirting? Are they fighting? Are they flirting? Also, this is what marriage is. And I nailed it this weekend. It's asking the other person where they put the scissors. No one fucking knows. No one knows. You want to know what's funny about you and does is you don't want to step on each other's toes, but you want the other one to have like the no, you tell the story or like, you guys, you guys need to communicate more. You don't know who's
Starting point is 00:06:17 getting the drinks. Who's getting the forks? Who's telling the story? There's a lot of admin that you guys haven't figured out. Well, you know why we do not have traditional gender rules. in this household. No, you don't. And that's what it is. It's chaos. It is chaos in these streets. We don't know who's doing laundry. We don't know who's speaking first. We don't know who's sitting at the head of the table. But that's what keeps it spicy. Sometimes people say this as like when their relationship is like, oh, we've turned into roommates. I want to take back that saying. Okay. Because in the best way possible, you and Des are roommates in terms of like, Like, sometimes you're doing the dishes.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Sometimes he's taking out the trash. But at any given moment, you could be lugging that trash and he could be washing the dishes. Like, you guys really do live together as like two individual people. I think it's because when we got together, we both were such individual people that we just were like, but we mesh well. Yeah. And I think that's what it is. There's no structure. No. You guys need a chart with stickers. You need to know what's happening. I've thought about a chore chart. I've thought about it. But this is why we're not divorced yet is because if one of us happens to get upset about something like, hey, why are your socks like all over the bathroom floor? Then he'll just be like, well, why is your makeup all in the sink? And then I said, and that, and we're moving on. We're even. And you can't. We're keeping score. We're not keeping score. We're not keeping score.
Starting point is 00:07:55 We're tired. Yeah, you can't attack for something when you're doing the same thing. Exactly. Exactly. It is so funny when you come into someone's home and see like the functions. But I also feel like when someone visits your house. Yeah. Let's be honest. You're playing life. Like it's a virtual reality. Everyone's an actor. We're all paid actors. What would I should I be doing when people are at my house around this time? You should have seen me picking out a travel outfit. I'm like, what does someone wear who's like? like not going to the Hamptons for like the showiness, just going to like hang with a friend. No, I literally, when people come to my house, I'm like, what do you do it around this time of day trying to pretend? No way, that's so true. Like multiple times I'm like, this is when I typically would go in a TikTok hole. But I'm trying to pretend that I'm like, loving life.
Starting point is 00:08:49 There was a moment where it does looked at us and goes, I'm going to go for a nap now. And we were like, that's why he's my king. We were like, you know what? Yeah, you deserve it. And we yapped for another three hours. Des disappeared for a good two hours and like more power to him. He deserved that time off though. He deserved it.
Starting point is 00:09:08 But I do want to say kudos to you. You are such a good guest. Paige came, first of all, with a new Daphne tea, the Hanna tea. Because my other one got stained up. So she gave me a Navy one. And I was like, that's why you're my best friend. She designed it for me. She designed a shirt literally for her best friend.
Starting point is 00:09:25 No, I literally did. I was like, Hannah needs more t-shirts. So that was great. Then you made a pasta salad that really came in handy all weekend. No, I was so proud of that pasta salad. And here's what I did. You know, it's hard to do is think of something to bring to someone's home, especially when it's like, like you don't need anything.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Like what, you know, like, and we see each other all the time. So it's not like, oh my God, I haven't seen her in so long. I have to get her like a really nice candle. So, like, whatever. So I was like, what am I bringing to Hannah's? But like, it's not like super intense. So I know you love green. So I got this really pretty green bowl.
Starting point is 00:10:11 And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to make a pasta salad. Put it in the bowl. And that's the gift. Like she keeps the bowl. We eat the pasta salad. See ya. And this is what I love about Italians.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Only a challenge. could figure out a way to make salad unhealthy. Yeah. They're like, you know, we go with this pasta. You know, there's a lot of vegetables from there. Let's put pasta. They go vegetables, a little cheese and pasta. Now it's good.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Now it's a good salad. I do need to talk about one person that really didn't have the best time this weekend and was very taken aback, didn't know what was going on. And her name is Daphne. and Daphne is look at a young age Daphne has been a travel kitty She's seen so much She's seen so much in her young age
Starting point is 00:11:00 She's done so much She's always mentally stimulated You know like she's She's fine Wherever you take her she's good Except for Hannah's house Okay I feel bad
Starting point is 00:11:17 Get there I take Daphne out Daphne's like fine she's sniffing around then I show her like where we're sleeping where her water bowl is where her food is she goes boom where her litter boxes and she fully turned into like the real housewives when they're picking rooms she was like the fish room literally the fish room are you fucking kidding she literally looked at me and she gave me a look only a daughter can give a mother and it's when are we leaving when are we going home and so The way Hannah's house is like set up, like where we're like hanging out, you can't like see to go downstairs, but like you can kind of see if you're sitting at a certain angle, like through a window, you can see like the top of the stairs, okay?
Starting point is 00:12:06 Every 15 minutes, I would look over to my cat sitting on the top of the stairs, staring at us, judging for three minutes, and then she would run off. She would then proceed to come back, judge again, give a snarl, and run off. She also was like, help me. I was like, hello, I'm in danger. I don't feel safe. I've seen what I need to see and I want to go home. She has never been more uncomfortable in her life. I tossed her in the kitty room, which I'm housing three kittens that were found at the side of the road.
Starting point is 00:12:46 So, Daphne is immediately unimpressed and disgusted. Yeah. So she's like, where are your parents? You don't have parents? What is your dad do? What is your, where, do you didn't go to private school? You didn't go to private school. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Do you have a last name? Are you even microchipped? Oh, my mom. They're not microchip. She goes, no one's cut your nails in a very long time. Get a manicure like once. let me tell you she slept all day on sun she was exhausted she was emotionally and mentally well she had given all she could give and then butter of course was in my room
Starting point is 00:13:33 but it was like oh you're having people over cool i'll see you monday but i had this fear that if i opened the door that like her and daphne would have interaction and for everyone who's like oh my god if butter and daphne met butter's a street fighter and butter fights dirty yeah and daphne as beautiful as she is she can't she can't offend herself against i'm a working model butter a working model not the money face and butter butter has half an ear like butter has nothing to lose yeah so that's not a fair fight and i just wanted to make sure daphne was okay butter was okay We survive the weekend. You know what I never, never crossed my mind, though?
Starting point is 00:14:19 What if we have kids and they like don't get along? Oh my God. If my kid doesn't get along with your kid? Yeah, like what if we have? I feel like if I have one and you have one that that's like impossible, they have to get along. But I feel like what if there's a world where like you have two boys and I have like a boy and a girl and like the boys don't get along? But like the girl dates one of the other boys. You know, like, what if there's drama between them?
Starting point is 00:14:45 Honestly, I just described the summer I turned pretty. So. And I really told us for that. I feel like, I've been in deep with my Hulu. Okay, I've thought about this, actually. I've thought this fully through. Basically, the way they're going to be introduced is, like, this is not your friend. Like, this is your cousin.
Starting point is 00:15:11 This is your family. Like I know she's weird Yeah She's part of the family But also I don't think people realize Your kids are going to be a bad influence on my kids Okay Like your kids are going to be like cool and like
Starting point is 00:15:26 I don't know They're just I just feel like my kids are going to be a little more straight edge But if I may raise my kids in the Lower East Side of Manhattan They will be doing acid by 11 And then your kids if they're raised in the burbs should stay away from my kids. Right. But sometimes suburban kids are weird.
Starting point is 00:15:47 They like sniff stuff because they have to get more creative. I was just going to say sometimes suburban kids start a drug habit super early. And suburban kids love doing crazy things in cars, which city kids are like, I'm high as fuck, but I'm lying in the park. Yeah. Which is unsafe as well. It's something that we're going to have to figure out. But I did have that thought.
Starting point is 00:16:06 It was like, oh my God, I didn't even think like, because in my head, I'm like, we both are having girls and they're going to be possible. friends you're like what if we have kids and then like aliens come down and like oh that's the plot of war the worlds um one thing that we did talk about is and we said that people don't talk about it enough is that there was a disney channel movie about twins and they were basketball players and the name of that movie was double teamed and that's why we are the way we are and and don't ask as the origin of this story, I don't know how it started, but there was just a moment where we like made that realization and we talked about it. And it's so unsettling when you think about it.
Starting point is 00:16:50 It's crazy. How many people that had to go through of approval before it came to our desk? Like that went through many meetings and it was like, this is four kids. They go, I understand it's double teamed, but how can we make it less sexual? Let's make it twins. That'll be better. I mean double here's here's one thing if it was double team that almost makes it less sexual I think yeah yeah than double teamed is double teamed like that like teamed that's what happened to one of my roommates in college double yeah have it that's and that's the only other me that's the only meaning of it there's no other meaning of
Starting point is 00:17:33 double teamed other than having sex with getting that's what happens when you answer a snapchat with a guy in the football team double teams correct and i just think that's so crazy and it makes me so uncomfortable well it's funny if you watch a lot of comedies now you see how they make a lot of jokes for the adults but double team that's creepy it's giving nicolodeon no it's so freaking creepy it's giving nicolodian seeing people's feet i don't know how we got how we got here but i think was because we were doing like all these different sports things and we were saying and I actually I was saying all of the different sports that I think I would have been good at and Hannah said if she didn't play tennis she would have played basketball and then that brought me to have you ever seen
Starting point is 00:18:17 double team but I said I couldn't play basketball because my hands are hooves and I can't hold the ball but the funniest thing was page comes in we learned about each other this weekend she's wearing like a gorgeous bikini like stunning everything's working and then she stands up and she goes do you want to race and I was like what do you mean she's like do you want to play mermaids do you want to race Marco polo like all the games and I was like let's fucking go and then to get into the pool she doesn't go towards the the little the not towards a stair she goes towards the deep end I said where you going babe did you get lost and she goes I'm jumping in and I said I didn't see that for you yeah you are a fucking freak this she literally's like hair well she hasn't washed her hair in like
Starting point is 00:19:07 many days that's a whole other thing that we haven't talked about but like soap put together and goes I'm about to belly flop and I was like I thought for sure you would be that girl who daintily walks in three stairs in and then goes you guys it's kind of cold are you sure and then we're like come on page and you're like okay and then like 10 minutes later you're in and then you're like actually it's kind of warm we're like we told you page no this bitch fucking and not even like a graceful dive she fucking codonogs cannonballs and that's so you because people can't put you in a box no they really can't and i dare i say i thought you were gonna be like me no i'm dainty when it comes to the pool yeah like it took you 10 minutes to get in and you like
Starting point is 00:19:55 you were going slow slow so you're torturing yourself i don't want to brag i do have very high muscle low body fat as of at least 10 years ago last time I checked so I I get really cold really easily because I am tiny in the ankles so when it hits the ankles first it shoots up my body also I'm I'm like scared of water in general kind of when I was little I almost got swept away by a current um we're in a pool your pool it was 85 degrees we were in a heated pool in the middle of summer do you know when you jump and like it gets like in your ear this or up your nose and then your day's ruin for three days like it's just not it's not worth it like i just think like going in going in by the stairs i obviously used to do that but
Starting point is 00:20:49 i grew up honestly not to sound so cultured but i feel like i'm like always jumping off boats and so like when you jump off a boat you have to jump in you can't like walk in you can't like walk in from a boat i have to stop you right there that's where you've lost the entire audience the entire no no one can relate to that she's like you know when you're by the cliffs and then the bunch of boats take you to the cliff no really i feel like i that's why i jump in because you have to jump off a bow and she goes and these yachts are high you know that you're about to get like dumois that you're a yacht girl after that comment Honestly, I hope you're making money on these yards.
Starting point is 00:21:33 From my family vacation, like, that is, I jump in off a boat. But, no, jumping in, you, it's three seconds of cold compared to, like, literally two solid minutes of torturing yourself walking into the cold. And then you're just fine. Des is like, you never felt worse after jumping in cold water. And I go, yeah, but I felt better before it. well does and i are water signs and so we really we connect with the water like i i love the ocean like i i really feel like when i go in the ocean i feel differently than other people because i genuinely feel like it heals my soul this is my thing nothing feels better than peeing in water
Starting point is 00:22:21 do you pee in the shower i can't help but pee in the shower the second warm water hits me I'm peeing. I feel like there's like a whole discourse like low key on like people being like it's gross to pee in the shower because like of the drain. Like it's going down the drain. Again, none of my business. What's going on in the drain? The drain?
Starting point is 00:22:43 I have so many things to worry about. I'm not worrying about what's growing in my drain. I don't even know it's growing in my Stanley right now. Okay. There's the, no, absolutely not. No. And like I'm not sitting in the bathroom being like, oh, okay, well, yeah, obviously
Starting point is 00:22:57 the sink and the shower drain would be different than the sewage system. But like, again, no. Again, but then there's an argument that like pee, you could pee on someone getting surgery and it's like, you're fine. This is my problem. My pee, I think my pee's perfect. Same. But like, if someone else were to pee, I'm like, okay, let's have some respect.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Okay, well, I'm hydrated. And so that's basically water with a little bit of like UTI powder. Yeah, like, leave me alone. Des is just like water and Advil and his so like we're a happy home this is a really niche reference but do you remember the movie jimmy neutron i don't remember the movie but i remember the tv show like did they make a movie they made a movie and at one point like all the adults disappeared and they were showing all the things kids were doing because the adults were gone and one kid was like i'm peeing in the shower and then i was like oh are you not supposed to be in
Starting point is 00:23:53 the shower wait you know what's funny is you because you had a younger sibling you watched more younger shows like once I hit the age where it was over for me I then never saw anything like younger because no one was turning it on because I didn't have an older sibling the first time I saw MTV I was like 11 and it was at a tennis camp with all like the cool older girls and I saw jaw roll with his shirt off and life was never the same I'm trying to my first my first experience with MTV was actually so surreal. because it was the real world San Diego and it was Cameron from Southern Charm and that was the first reality show I ever watched oh my and I loved her I thought she was like
Starting point is 00:24:43 the prettiest person to ever be on the planet and then to think like oh I'm gonna go on reality TV scary she's adorable a lot of people aren't aware of how much they spend each month and did you know that how and did you know how many subscriptions you pay for what about how much you spend on takeout and delivery it's probably more than you think but there's an app designed to help you manage your money better and it's rocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings if you've got a goal you'd like to save for rocket money can analyze your accounts and find the best time each month to put extra money aside rocket money's five
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Starting point is 00:26:43 That's C-O-Z-E-Y.C-A, the home of possibilities made easy. Can I just say that staying by the water in the summer is just a top tier level move? You wake up, you drink your coffee, you jump in the water. And last year, I found this cottage on Airbnb. It's near Blue Mountain. It's a guest favorite, which are the homes loved most by other guests. And it had a private dock, a canoe, a hammock, just a literal dream. You don't see another person for 48 hours.
Starting point is 00:27:14 It looks so cozy with total privacy. And if you need a getaway, you can book a guest favorite on Airbnb, and find your lakeside moment. Searchlight Pictures presents The Roses, only in theaters, August 29. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things, comes The Roses. Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney, a hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses.
Starting point is 00:27:49 See The Roses only in theaters August 29 I do want to say I'm proud of you This is the first time you went to the Hampton since And I hope that I helped you create new memories You did help me create new memories You also brought stromboli Of course And you also brought pinoli cookies
Starting point is 00:28:13 Of course And rainbow cookies And sprinkle cookies Yes well you can't bring a pinola you can't bring a pinoli and not a sprinkle cookie that's just like rude imagine i did that for the rest of the pot i go and chocolate vanilla cookie and she brought her own pillows and then she brought christmas gifts for everyone for for this coming christmas and then she brought um so that was really good and we hung out with gary oh and then my brother and his girlfriend
Starting point is 00:28:46 we're in town, like we're around in the vicinity and stopped over and we played some tennis. We had some, I ate a lobster roll. I do have to say, you did play tennis and you did the most page thing ever. I hit her a backhand and she just said, no, thank you. And I said, what's wrong? And she goes, I'm not hitting back hands. And I'm like, did you just refuse to hit a backhand? I'm not doing back hands today.
Starting point is 00:29:14 She was like, no, thank you. And I was like, I love that you're polite, but that's not how sports work. And she goes, what game is this? This is tennis. This is my whole life. This is what I put my whole entire life into. And you could have some damn fucking respect on, okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:29 And you were like, okay, I'm done. I literally am that, like, annoying little girl that was like, okay, but what if we did ballet on the tennis court? And everyone's like, we're playing a game. You also, you don't like to do things for too long. No, I don't. I get tired. Activities. I mean, chatting.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I could go all day. I could go all day and all night. Snacking for at least four hours. Des was very impressed by our chatting cardio. Like a marathon. As in like, he's like, all you do is talk to each other. And then you're like seeing each other. He's like, you know when you guys get into your whole giggly thing?
Starting point is 00:30:08 And I say, it's a religion, babe. Respect religion. Okay. But I would argue that every friend you all. is like this like you know what's crazy is I always think about and I've said this since I was like a child when you're married for like 30 40 years what do you guys talking about like how are you still finding things to talk about because you have to talk about other people yeah like you know everything about each other you have to I mean the world would not survive if you didn't talk about other people but with you I'm never like oh no what I mean and I'm going to talk about
Starting point is 00:30:42 today like we're gonna find things it's gonna come up you know what it is it's like love it just takes two people who have the same goal and like we give us nothing and we both are going to try to make it work and that's what friendship is two people trying to make a gossip work and let's be honest i'll start gossip and you might not be into it but you're going to support me in it and you're going to say okay well why did she do that why do you think she did that let's let's see it from different angles and that's that's what friendship is And you know what I think maybe Des is desensitized too, that so much gossip happens in our world right in front of our faces.
Starting point is 00:31:20 And we need to bring it back behind closed doors. Like we need to bring it back to its original intended form. And that's at your friend's kitchen table where like they're not going to see it. No one's going to like it. Reply to it. Comment on it. Let me say what I need to say in peace. I want to start it with can I say something kind of mean.
Starting point is 00:31:41 or this i normally would never say you know i'm not like this you know i would never be this mean but am i alone in this and that's wait am i alone in this makes it sound profound it makes it sound like we went to college we we we furthered our education when we say and am i alone in this sounds like yeah i'm trying to um change the world um which we do we do every day through conversation also i did make i did have a little italian snafu gary brought prosciute perjudo however or proscudi whatever you would call it in idaho wait wait i know that you're going to tell this story but first let me preface that i get there on friday night and hannah immediately she's like and tomorrow we're going to have prosciutto with
Starting point is 00:32:37 melon and i'm like amazing i love perjudo with melon and she said it like three times like and that will be like our cute little snack and that was her party trick proceed with your story also i'm you're me and does um so gary brings the prejudo and then i so she didn't even have one of the main ingredient okay one of the main ingredients for said dish was not even in the home i knew there was going to be italian people around someone was going to have prosciute that's actually so true someone had it in their car if there was like a high percent chance one do you guys have prosciutto which oh my god so but then this is where the issue came I don't know about melons yeah I don't realize that the inside of melons are not all created equal yeah I didn't realize that I didn't have
Starting point is 00:33:34 melon I had a cantaloupe I thought a cantaloupe was a melon no you had a honeydew oh you had a literal she so she so she cuts up this melon first of all no she goes to cut up the melon she goes to cut up the melon and my brother stands up swiftly it goes uh maybe i should cut it can i just say no one believes in me like no one believes in me and the way you learn is by making mistakes i come down with a battle axe and a melon because that's how you cut melons yeah immediately right before i'm about to cut it i realize i feel like there should be some strategy not the right knife it was I don't know what kind
Starting point is 00:34:12 I don't know my knives yeah wasn't the right knife Gary wait hold on also I just need to like set the scene for you we're in Hannah's backyard she's walking around this massive knife all day too
Starting point is 00:34:25 because we were cutting up different things and like she kept making the same joke but every time she said it it literally hit she would always say she kept saying thanks Des for getting me the small knife like I got me like good I wanted the small knife And it kept getting laughs, so it kept doing it.
Starting point is 00:34:41 It just became, yeah, it was the bit of the dead. Well, because also, you can't pick up that knife and, like, not say something. It was an insane knife to have near human beings. Like, it looks like what you use to cut up a body. It was insane. So naturally, I was like, maybe this is the knife that'll be good for this candelope melon honeydew, whatever the fuck it was. I didn't know. Did, could you tell before cutting into it what it would be?
Starting point is 00:35:05 No, I didn't. Wait, you want to know what? I wasn't really thinking. like, oh, this isn't a melon. Because if someone says, hey, I have a melon for you, just, I think, oh, she went to the melon section. She picked it up. Like, there's obviously a honey-dew section.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Also, you'd think if I, like, was bragging about making this for you guys, I'd have any of the ingredients. Anything. Like, we're over to, and there's only two ingredients. So we were this close to having salami and apples. Okay, this freaking close. But it's so funny, because Gary's. sees me with a knife which by the way i've been handling all day yeah and he's like i've seen what i need
Starting point is 00:35:43 to see yeah comes up to me takes the knife and starts cutting it which then i realize like i am kind of good at getting other people to do my dirty work you just kind of have to look confused and dangerous with a weapon and they're like no thank you so he's cutting it look like you're about to make everyone else's day 10 times more annoying like because she just looked like oh i just chopped my thumb off like and that would have been so annoying no that would have been super inconvenient for the weekend we had planned and selfish so gary starts cutting it up and i don't know who it might have been you that was like that's honeydew yeah and i was like okay like that's socially constructed like it identifies as a melon here we here's the other thing you didn't even give us full pieces of
Starting point is 00:36:37 The way you, the way you were trying to do it, like an almond mom, wrapping it around the honeydew, like you actually had created a new snack. So first of all, I did not wrap it. That would have been way fucking cuter if I wrapped it. And I should have had toothpicks. That was insane not to have toothpicks. Third of all, Gary cut it in a way that wasn't like on my plan of how I was going to do it. So then I just like put it in strips and put it.
Starting point is 00:37:03 It didn't. It was not good. And then there's nothing more humbling as a host than when. you show up to the group sitting by the pool with honeydew perjudo and you go does anyone want any and i'm telling you if someone doesn't early on put their hand up it's a group mentality thing and everyone's like oh it's okay and actually you know you have a pound of perjudo wasted on honeydew melon that's going to get hot and have flies on it so you guys are all like doing whatever you're doing and i'm looking at my failure of a work of art
Starting point is 00:37:37 oh man it was a good time now do you know what no do you know it was even worse so no one eats it's just sitting there a couple hours go by i notice it and i take a little taste of course gary doesn't let that go and he's like did you just fucking eat the one he goes someone has to he goes that's been sitting in the sun for two hours hannah and i go look i'm not about waste because you guys are wasteful and you're Not about waste, no. Not about waste. So, so that was fun.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Anyway, guys, oh my God, I've been enjoying chugging my Duncan refresher. I am obsessed. Let me, oh, I pulled off, but I get it with the green tea. So do I. You do too? It's so good. It's so good. You know, I actually had a thought, and the Duncan refreshers have pushed me to it.
Starting point is 00:38:33 I used to be a girly that didn't drink coffee in the morning, and I would drink green tea. And then one day I just, like, forgot about green tea. And since I've been having green tea and my refreshers, I'm back to, like, green tea mornings. Thank you, Duncan, for keeping us refreshed all weekend long. And go to giggly summer.com to submit stories for a chance to win the giggly Duncan merch. If you've seen it online, it's pretty amazing. We played with three kitties. It was the, here's the thing, too.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Okay, Des was like, you guys can play with the kittens, but don't take the kitten out of the kitten room and play with it in the living room. And we're like, okay, like, we're not. not even going to so we're taking rules are made to be broken yeah so obviously we get the kitty and we take her out into the living room and right as does predicted we lost the kitty is gone we said she couldn't have gotten far I literally felt in that moment Hannah when we were looking for that cat I actually felt like I was 11 years old and I was there for a sleepover.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Des was our dad, and we had just done something that he specifically told us not to do. And that's our role play we do at night. And we're panicking because we're getting to the point where we have to be like, can you help us? No, I was looking in the fridge. I was like, is the cat in the fridge? I started like looking under pillows. At one point I looked at my own pocket. I'm like, where is the kid?
Starting point is 00:40:02 Mind you, of course, she's just like right there under the couch. She comes out. and I have a special announcement and if you're on the YouTube she's been here this whole time sorry the way I picked her up she just goes limp that was hilarious wait that was so cute
Starting point is 00:40:22 wait show her again she's so cute this is boots who's attached to me at the hip okay wait I walk in cat's name is Cupid Cat's name is Cupid then immediately cat's name was socks then it was socks socks then turned into boots
Starting point is 00:40:40 because you know she's growing she's learning naming cats is very fun but if it it has to work and the thing is we called her boots because the white goes all the way up to like right above the knee she's wearing boots it's like an above the knee boot and fall is around the corner it just seems appropriate also like you know cowboy Carter like countries back in
Starting point is 00:41:00 so boots you could say like boats yep so I'm in love with this cat like this cat is a very special cat off the side of the road it just has an amazing temperament page you love this cat I love this cat and as you know I've been fostering cats also known as trafficking cats to all my friends so this cat I'm not letting I'm gatekeeping like I'm not letting the general public adopter like I'm like this needs to stay in the family right poor grace just wanted to have a nice job job. She just wants, she just wants to make some money. She wanted to go to work, receive a paycheck, go home with her life. We said, wait a minute. This is a lifelong commitment. This is a cult. So poor grace. Are you in or are you out? Poor Grace, not only. So she drove me out to the Hamptons to meet this cat because I forced her. And then I drove her around in the car. I think she disassociated.
Starting point is 00:42:02 because I was like, are you okay? And she was like, where am I? Definitely one of the worst HR violations we've had. Like, I can see the Giggly Squad documentary starting with her, like, sitting down and being like, at first it was fun. Like, we did this tour. And then we got it. Next thing you know, Hannah was not checking her blind spot. And then there was a lot of cats everywhere.
Starting point is 00:42:27 There was just so much litter. Just litter everywhere. And then they were forcing beta blockers down my throne. And I had to listen to hours and hours and hours of her just weird laugh. She has really low blood pressure now. Also, I broke my jaw. Oh my God. Do you remember Grace broke her jaw?
Starting point is 00:42:48 We were not involved. We were not involved. Yeah, we were not involved in that. So the way I like to do this cat thing is it can take time. You can't force it. But Boots loves me. And I wanted to see if boots naturally gravitated to Grace. And let's be honest, grace has incredible energy, especially for cats.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Because cats don't like frenetic stress, high energy, people with sudden movements, the stress of them out. Grace is calm as a fucking cucumber. This cat is like gravitating to her. And I'm like, okay, this could be it. Because also, I don't want Grace to take the cat if the cat's not going to be happy. Right. So let's just say I did a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:43:28 you did a lot of what is it reverse psychology well she called me at one point and she said look I don't I love her but I don't know if I want to have a cat and I said does anyone know if they want anything? I said did I know
Starting point is 00:43:45 I was just going to say I feel like that's exactly what you said when I was like I don't know if I want to get married I go no one knows does that no one knows I said if you knew we we wouldn't be humans in this life like I'm getting crazy philosophical with her like she's so confused by the end of the call and she's like I just don't know at the end of the call she's like am I a cat she goes do you want to adopt me so she literally was calling me to be like
Starting point is 00:44:19 I think because I'm not 100% sure I shouldn't do it and I go no one's ever 100% sure I said I wasn't 100% sure about my marriage and look where we are. Look where we are arguing about who should tell the story at a dinner table. Okay? And then I, but I said, but you know what? I totally got it. I said I totally get it. There's actually, wait, let's also, I think it's important to note that grace started
Starting point is 00:44:42 working for us and terrified of cats. She had a phobia of cats. Yeah, wasn't just that she didn't like cats or wasn't like, you know, privy to them. it was like she genuinely was scared of them. And one thing about me is I love a challenge. Yeah. So I was like, okay, she'll be hard work, but that's the kind of work I want to put. I don't want someone who's like, I want a cat.
Starting point is 00:45:05 I said, no, no. Yeah. I want someone who doesn't want it and to flip them. Like you. And yeah, I was just going to say, and she's, you're going on two of two now. I'm two for two. People should hire you. Should I be a cat matchmaker?
Starting point is 00:45:20 I mean, it's kind of crazy. how you have gotten into the minds of many young girls. So Grace then calls me again, and she's like, I've been doing my research, I've been talking to everyone, and she's like, I 100% want this cat. So this was just accidental reverse psychology, but I had to bring the cats back this morning to get spayed, which means they have to cut their little bellies to spade them.
Starting point is 00:45:47 It's so sad. But I get a call from Desi goes, we have a problem with boots. And I'm like, what's going on? He goes, she's too sick. skinny she has to be two and a half pounds before they cut her open so we have to take her back so i call grace i'm like grace i'm so sorry you can't adopt this cat tomorrow i need to faten her up for another week and grace is like are you kidding me like i want the cat now and i said look how the turntables have
Starting point is 00:46:10 turned she's like no i need this cat right now and i go and that's what ultimately happens once you've made up your mind you need this cat you're like well why isn't there a cat on my lap No, she literally is like, if I don't have a cat right in my lap in three minutes, I'm going to lose my mind. Yeah. But Grace, everyone, tell Grace congratulations on her pregnancy. She's having a baby, and her name is Boots. Wait, is she keeping that name? She loves the name Boots.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Wait, I'm obsessed. She loves, because I said, you call her whatever you want. She's your child. Like, you birthed her. And so, yeah, in about a week, Grace will take her home. She's already, like, done a whole Amazon list. We'll add it to the newsletter. of all this stuff for the cat.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Wait, I actually just bought a cat thing on Amazon this week because I realized I'm traveling all these places and I'm putting Daphne's food in like a little plastic bag, like a trash. And so I got her like this little case to travel with her food. I was like, oh my God, Daphne, I'm so sorry. What kind of water does she drink? Purified Evian.
Starting point is 00:47:19 just from the tap the cats like lukewarm she likes it lukewarm it's so specific too one last thing about cats i'm sorry if anyone's like i don't like cats well i have one last thing i say which what i said to grace mm-hmm life is good but it's just better with a cat totally so it's like i if you're happy in life that's great imagine being happier no there's nothing really else you can say like that is so spot on like it's so much better like you might have had a good day and you're like excited to go home and get on the couch imagine if there's just like a floof waiting for you to also get on the couch and she's not annoying she's not annoying and she lives her own life she lives her own life and her name is booth and she's right
Starting point is 00:48:14 here I'm so excited for grace so we're really excited for grace Who's my next victim? I have to, like, search maybe Chris. Does Chris have a cat? No, honestly, I feel like you're, like, running out of people. You've infiltrated so much. I only have so many friends. Searchlight Pictures presents The Roses.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Only in theaters, August 29. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things comes The Roses. Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney. A hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses only in theaters, August 29. Also kind of nostalgic.
Starting point is 00:49:06 I just want to bring awareness to. People don't talk enough about. The Powerpuff Girls. What specifically? Did you watch it? I didn't. Can I tell you something? Cartoon Network?
Starting point is 00:49:18 Not for me. I'm going to say Cartoon Network is so Hanna-coded. Yeah, it's not page-coded. Ed, Ed, and Eddie, you would never watch. See, I love that silly shit. But Powerpuff Girls, oh, like Dexter. Do you remember Dexter? Can I tell you something that's so me-coded?
Starting point is 00:49:38 Yeah. Any TV shows where they're, like, yelling? I've seen what I needed to see. I would be like, stop. Like, I really did. didn't like that like I liked again as I am as an adult where I like to watch pretty people on the TV I like them to be so fucking hot as a younger child I like to watch things that were aesthetically pleasing to me so like I like I can't believe I'm your favorite person I liked
Starting point is 00:50:10 Mary Kate and Ashley because they have matching outfits like I love Disney Channel I love oh I love Disney Channel so like anytime someone would offer up the cartoon network. I immediately knew what kind of kid you were and I was disinterested. I would be like, no. This is the thing though with Powerpuff girls aesthetically because one of them had black hair, one of them was blonde, one was Redhead and they all had different colors. It was like so cute and they all were just like badass and like I think it formed who I am as a woman, the Powerpuff Girls. See again, I didn't like action. You go, why are they moving so much? I go take a nap.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Why don't you guys chill? Like, you're getting out of your house and you're, like, running away from your parents and this is what you're going and doing. Like, go to the mall. Wait, that's Cartoon Network, too. The commercials were like, ugh, you want this? Oh, boy, it! It's always a yogurt.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Like, why did it was there so much yogurt in those fucking squeeze tubes when we were little? Like, Jesus Christ. Like, it just. just like easy squeeze wait that is also something so goger to note the commercials were even like too much like i couldn't i was like no get the station off like i liked then i'd have to switch to like pbs and like watch like wishbone or something i'm like that's too overstimulating i did like wishbone i loved wish i'm surprised it didn't make you smarter as a kid she goes i just like the patterns of the dog I just like you guys watch it on you know you know who I really feel like I grew up to be was D.W from Arthur is who I grew up to be oh my god I loved Arthur I loved Arthur I was my favorite DW just like called it how she saw it she was assertive she was blunt she was to the point and she was a little bit mean okay but people deserved it people deserved it like get out of DW's house did you like Kim possible um I feel like I was a little bit
Starting point is 00:52:18 too old for Kim Possible but I definitely watched it like Kim Possible and the proud family were like the same time and I was like I feel like I was leaving but I still watched it but I wasn't as involved as I could have been yeah like I thought Compossible was so cool with her cargo pants you kind of grew up to be Kim Possible it's the nicest thing you've ever said you have red hair and I like little animals near me yeah like a naked mole rat oh my god oh it's so cute i feel like the summer is like to bring it full circle are you choking to death right now i'm okay i feel like the summer is always kind of like dead with like celebrity gossip because they genuinely feel like all of like the entertainment
Starting point is 00:53:12 industry is like just like they're on vacation in the summer yeah like they're not they're like you can't find them whatever so i feel like like the gossip is pretty chill one thing that people aren't talking about enough i don't think is the fact that victoria becca my religion and savior and her son are having like a huge feud like and i feel like we're not really diving into what's going on but like they're not speaking and the younger sons keep posting these like cryptic things on Instagram like people are picking up on it so it's like the brothers now aren't talking to them so like I need to know I need someone in there just to let me know what it overall is about because now we're going on like two years of just fighting but what was the original fight
Starting point is 00:54:04 is what I need to know well there was supposed to be a big fight with the wedding but then they kind of like went past but I feel like when people fight over like a wedding then once the wedding is over it's like okay there's got to be like a new fight because how are you even continuing it? We got married. Also, if you didn't fight during a wedding, did you even have a wedding? Like, that's just part of having a wedding.
Starting point is 00:54:27 This is why this makes me upset. In this day and age, for your family to be your biggest ops is so unsettling. Like, that person in your home is the one that the press is about and they're coming for you. Like, it's not okay.
Starting point is 00:54:47 No, it's not okay. If I birthed you out of my pussy and ripped my butthole, you're not talking bad about me in the press. No. You're not talking to people in the magazine about being. You're grounded. No, like, check your blind spot. Go home. Leave me alone.
Starting point is 00:55:06 I don't like the whole like, oh, the wife and the daughter-in-law is having beat. Like, I don't know. Yeah. That is so true. Like, they're making it so about Victoria and Nicole. cola and but I really think it's more it's deep it's that's your son like who cares about the new wife like why I fight with her what is going what are they fighting with the son about is what I need to know that to the point where the son is like you know what I'm living my life with my wife like
Starting point is 00:55:37 by ourselves she also comes from like a really big family and like her siblings aren't going on the internet being like you know saying like cryptic things no it's kind of like when megan Megan Markle became famous and her dad was like talking shit like it's crazy what do you think about people saying that Megan Markle stole Pamela Anderson's cooking show idea what was Pamela Anderson's cooking show idea or you know how she has like Pamela Anderson has that like Hulu show where it's like you like watch her garden wait how do I not know this and you put it on immediately wait you I think you have watched an episode before maybe i love pamela anderson everything she does wait why were people messaging me that leam nison said he's a giggler because he said no he just used the word giggle
Starting point is 00:56:27 okay the gigglers are losing their minds because i'm like can someone send me a video because i feel like that's not i think he said me and pam love to giggle and they were like clearly but is that a code is that a code it could be i mean not us being best friends with bobby fly now we have to be careful of what we manifest and we will be at pam and leum's thanksgiving this year look if you're on the food network or your name is pamela anderson i want to be friends with you here's another thing i will say i just feel like people always do whatever they can to pull like megan markle into it i'm like why can't Megan have her own show and Pam have her own show.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Yeah, I'm pretty sure, like, they're both for being off Martha Stewart. Totally. Who just came out with a skincare line at the ripe age of, like, 84. So women just stay working. Women stay working. They stay winning. Yeah, I'm, like, obsessed with Martha. If you haven't watched her documentary, you have to watch it.
Starting point is 00:57:32 But also, back to the Beckhams, they had an amazing documentary. Amazing. Part of me with all this drama just makes it seem like, easily if they had a reality TV show it could be the next Kardashians but I don't think that's what they want for for their life even though at this point it is a reality TV show here's the thing though I feel like reality TV in general is kind of like switching into a different direction because like it's not as raw and real as it used to be because there was no social media now they're social media. I almost feel like reality TV should revert back to like being not revert back because it
Starting point is 00:58:12 never was, but reality TV moving forward, I wanted to be boring. Like I want to watch, I want to watch Liam and Pam just in the kitchen making Sunday morning pancakes. I only need a 20 minute up. You're so right. You don't want to overproduced. You know, I don't want to. And I don't want it overstimulating. I want like I want vlogs on the TV. I want to be able to go to Hulu and be like Pamela Anderson's vlogs and it be like different things she does throughout the day. Put a TV put a live camera in her living room big brother at Pamela Anderson reading a magazine. Imagine inviting people over to your home and you're setting the ambiance with Pamela Anderson reading a magazine. I love it. And not out loud just under her head. I think that's a million dollar
Starting point is 00:59:01 idea. I think that's great. I think we're on to something. This is how you know we're in our 30s. We're like, let's have some calm stuff on the TV. Literally, I was in the car the other day and I turned the radio down and I go, it's freaking loud. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to blow my eardrums out hello how could how could one even concentrate with such loud music this is why i love having an old husband like the other day i was like tapping my knee too much and he was like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and i respect that we need peace and calmness and my anxious knee is ruining the mood you just reminded me of something i got a vibration plate so things are going well so this is my thing here's the thing
Starting point is 00:59:54 I'm a marketer's dream. Okay, look, if you're trying to sell to a demographic, sell it to me. Because I'm going to buy it, okay? I'm going to test it out. I'm going to try it. This is my problem. I don't know how to properly test anything out, and I don't do anything, like, consistent enough or, like, even with, like, my diet, if someone's like, oh, do you want to see
Starting point is 01:00:17 if you're allergic to dairy? Just, like, cut out dairy. No, like, I'm not a science experiment. I'm human. And I make mistakes. And I don't know what a fucking carb is. And I'm not Googling it. And I don't know if that is dairy.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Our new tagline. I'm not a science experiment. I'm a human. I'm a human with a thirst for knowledge that is unquenchable. I'm not going to lie. I've seen the vibration plate. It looks like it feels good. Like it looks like it would free me from like past traumas.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Okay. I'm going to be honest. The first day I went on it. They said like do it like 10 minutes of the day. First day I went on it. I didn't stop shitting for like two hours. I mean, that thing loosened something off. That's what happened to me with the trampoline.
Starting point is 01:01:04 I jumped twice and was like, got to go to the family. I was like, okay. Got to like got to get the hell out of here. It's literally like when you play with a baby and like you feel like you shake them up too much and then they just puke and you're like, oh, shit. Sorry, just shook a Diet Coke. wait okay so it's a laxative it's a laxative i don't know what it's just supposed to be good for like overall health i don't know i have all the gadgets here my favorite thing that we talked about this weekend was about adrenaline and how we talked about how if you really want to feel adrenaline go through your man's
Starting point is 01:01:43 phone there's no i don't care if you're jumping out of a fucking plane go through a man's phone and you will have diarrhea. I told Hannah the story that I went through an ex-boyfriend's phone, but every time I would go through his phone, I'd have to do it in the bathroom on the toilet because I would ship myself because I would be so hard. I was going to get caught or that like, also he had some shit on his phone, no pun intended.
Starting point is 01:02:09 So like I needed time to sift through. It was true. Look, you were going to do it in the bathroom anyway, but it was convenient that it was there because your heart rate came up and your body thought you were. getting chased by a lion and it shut itself and like it took one time for me to not be near a bathroom to know that the next time I have to run to the bathroom. Your body's like I need to lose everything that's inside me right now because we need to run for
Starting point is 01:02:35 our life. I'm so nervous. And also I'm never against going through a man's phone. Like I think that all women should legally be allowed to go through their man's phone. But make sure you're near baths. Things get crazy. Thank you, Duncan, for sponsoring this up. We love you so much. Searchlight Pictures presents The Roses. Only in theaters, August 29. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things comes The Roses. Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, McKinnon and Allison Janney, a hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little
Starting point is 01:03:23 bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses only in theaters August 29.

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