Giggly Squad - Giggling about k-holes, proposals, and saturn returns

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Hannah shares her second biggest announcement of the year and Paige started Heated Rivalry.subscribe to our newslettershop merch get our book Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my glorious gigglers? It's the end of the year. It's an awkward time in between Christmas and New Year's where no one knows what to do with their hands.

You know one thing I realized, first of all, Hannah and I just stared at each other for two minutes. And then Hannah goes, are you waiting for me? And I said, you start the pod every week. Why? Anyway, you know what I've realized? Other pods have like seasons. Like, thanks so much for this season. And we're like, what?

No, other people do like four episodes and they're like, see next season. I'm like, wait, how, what are you guys doing? Don't you go? I go crazy. Like this whole week, I'm like, I can. I need to talk to you in about this. this is a branded cult that we do every week i don't care what's going on in our lives um but you told me you're like just start the pod and go with it what do what's happening i'm scared

just go with it no oh like you just want to start the pod let's start with your christmas and we got a great question it was magical because i blackmailed my brother and his wife to come to New York from Indiana and when I tell you I have no self-control when it comes to being an aunt Lois realized that she could ask

me for presents at any time and she will get it so she just kept coming up to me looking so fucking cute and being like can I open another present? This is the 22nd by the way like this is she's celebrating Hanukkah at this point like she just gave another present so I'm like okay because you know I got her like she's like what's for

what's for Kwanza? Why every time she went out to me she was like wouldn't it be crazy if you gave me if you gave me another present like right now would that be crazy and I'm just like yeah don't tell mom and then my brother found out I've been giving her presents he's like that's literally ruining the whole thing but when I went shopping for a three-year-old is so fun because I went into a toy store and the guy which like do they exist what toy store I went to one in West Hampton and I walked in And the guy was like, hey, how are you? And I said, good.

He goes, age and interests. And I said, great question. Three years old, mermaids, sparkles, purple. If there's no sparkles, she gets very upset. And he goes, okay, we got this, this, this. Like, literally recommending it like an influencer. He's like, this is amazing. The kids are loving this.

No, bring back mom and pop toy stories. Like, I support the small communities. You can't even really find good toys online. I do have to say it's so much more fulfilling going into a store, looking at all the toys, touching them, shaking them, listening to them and being like she's going to lose her mind at this. Some toys are uniquely complicated. I got her this manicure set.

Couldn't figure out how to do it. She figured it out. She said, Hannah, you're a quitter. You have to stop quitting. So I just had so much fun being. The aunt that was spoiling her little nieces and nephews. Christmas is so much better when there's little kids around, you know. When there's no little kids, it's kind of creepy.

It's kind of. No, it's low-key creepy. This was the first year. This was the first year my brother left on Christmas Day and went to, like, his girlfriend's family. I'm so sorry, it's really traumatic. That's traumatic. No, Hannah, it was actually so traumatic. I, like, looked at my parents and I was like,

so what should we do no when you're the lone one left you're just like how y'all doing it's also there's something about like when i go home i can't not be 16 years old like like it's actually so annoying like i get so mad at myself but it's like right when i go over the threshold i immediately turn into a brat i do nothing okay like i bring home my i bring my vitamins i bring my skincare i don't even do that because I'm like what is time when is dinner like there was a tic-ttock by that guy brett newstrom who's so funny and he was joking about that and how you're just like mom can i have like some water and she's like you can get it and it's like no i'm sitting on the couch right now and i have a blanket on me i can't get up no i literally was like dad would it be crazy if you poured me a diet

coke on ice like that was all i said the whole you're literally lowest to me wouldn't it be crazy and my mom like my mom saw one quote and so like wouldn't stop saying it the entire fucking holiday she was like every holiday is unique and you have to cherish every holiday because it's unique and i was like i'm going to fucking kill you that's what marilla monroe said thank you kim for raising awareness of joy me and my mom both got each other sentimental gifts this year which i just felt like was very like we were so telepathic because usually her and i are the ones that will like get each other like some type of clothes thing like I usually get her a coat or like a pair of boots or something and she has this like joke with me that like every mom gets a robe like oh like everyone

lists like all their presents I think it was like an S&L skit at some point like everyone's like I got a watch I got this and blah blah blah and every mom's like I got a robe so I always get her a robe every year so I get her a robe every year and then she had one of my grandma's antique chairs that I love re-apholstered into like baby blue velvet which is my favorite oh my god it was so sweet and then I got her a picture of her and I as you should like blown up like from a Japanese photo shoot she was like where am I putting this I'm like in the foyer it's a cardboard cut out of you just all over the house it's a family photo of the two most important family members I do have to say as feminist what I love to do during the holiday season to like be at the forefront of feminism

is any traditional roles that women play in the household especially at a female family um Italian family yeah excuse me like when I um when we're all finished eating and you know the women just naturally stand up and start picking up the plates yeah I stay sat wow and I look at I look at the men and I said can you take my plate please And then if I get any pushback, I said, I own this house. As someone who doesn't live in a feminist household at all? By the way, my mom did everything, but continue. I literally, I'm 30.

I'm trying to change generational trauma. I'm so right there with you. I'm 33 years old. I'm still not even allowed to wash the dishes. I can only dry. So that is my job at every family gathering page dries all this. dishes i don't think it matters like if you bought something or not however like thanksgiving once like i bought all the catering and i was like i'm not cleaning up after i bought the catering it's like

i'm fine if you guys are like oh we bought it so you guys clean up then we're going to reverse it also i do have to say my mom my dad do have a very very they are they are good team so my mom will cook and he's immediately cleaning now that's a test of a marriage because like they're incredible my mom my mom always toast and i'll always catch my dad and her just her and my dad like in the kitchen like they don't know anyone's listening and i'll always catch my dad be like good job kim you did a really good job this year like and i'm like oh my god that is so sweet she's like you think so oh thanks that's so nice is is gary senior good at getting Kim Gifts.

That evil laugh. Okay. No. My dad is famously the worst gift gipper to my mom. She literally is like just get me something from a spot. Just get me a massage. Get me a facial. That's all I need.

And he goes to places and gets convinced by the salesperson that he needs to buy something. They don't know my mom. Today, this one, he bought her like a corduroy jacket. And she was like, why the fuck? She isn't curse. But that's what she was saying with her eyes. Why the fuck would you think I want this? She's not big on the curse bottom.

She says it with her eyes. And we all just start laughing. Because again, like men buying women clothes is such a risk. And he like keeps doing it. And we keep saying don't do that. Unless it's something sentimental, get her a classic like spa certificate. Yeah. That's such an easy one.

It is. I don't know why for whatever this year. I don't know maybe it's because we're getting. older or if it was just like in social media this year I really feel like there was such an emphasis on like Christmas magic is just your mom like it's like oh this year doesn't have Christmas magic and it's like okay well that's because you're in your 20s and your mom is older like it's and it's such a crazy shift to think like yeah but that age group where you don't have little kids when it's just you and like no one is excited really about Santa you wake up you're

like, oh, Santa, ha, ha, ha, it's, it's an awkward age. I will say this year, I have had, like, the same mattress in my bedroom at home since I was in, like, high school. Like, it's just, like, I needed a new mattress. So I was like, you know what, mom, like, I'm going to order a new mattress. I'm going to order just, like, I needed a new bed frame. I'm just going to, like, slowly kind of, like, redo that room. And, like, nothing crazy.

I'm not, like, going in and, like, totally. I'm just got a new bed. And she, like, came up to me and. said something like oh well when you have a baby and i immediately was like a baby like that baby's not going in my room the baby's taking your room i'm like this is my room like what baby and she's like i mean it is so cute that she's very jarring she's kept your room exactly the same because a lot of parents they turn it into you know a little gym a work room you know i go home too much to like not have a room and I would feel so I would feel so violated as we learned a couple weeks ago

my nana never had a room but I digress I digress um I do have to say I did pretty good with des's gifts which I've had some rough goes in the past but he's he's like obsessed with severance and I saw on Amazon there's the book um the u you you are which is like the book from the show. Okay. And so I literally bought him the book. So he's like a nerd and he thought that was funny. Wait, that's so sweet.

If anyone ever got me a book, I'd be fucking livid. Unless it's How to Giggle. I know. And I was giving How to Giggle out to Everyone. They're like, I already bought it. And I'm like, here's a How to Giggle. But then also he doesn't drink. And we went to his restaurant once.

Basically non-alcoholic drinks are becoming like very cool, like a sparkling tea, like a Norwegian, whatever. And he said he liked it and I wrote it down like a good girlfriend because he's my boyfriend. And I got him the sparkling tea and you would have thought it was like he was going to rage that night. So he was like chugging his sparkling tea, reading the book. I actually one of my cousins told me this year at Christmas dinner she was like I just found out that I'm like allergic to alcohol. And I was like, wait, I should go get tested for that because I love getting tested for things. I love getting tested for things. No, I love getting

does everything oh update on my uTI i got no hannah you have no idea how many screenshots i have of dms first of all it's astonishing i'm getting them it's astonishing the amount of gigglers that are doctors i know it's actually worrisome it's quite worrisome i'm like wait and you listen to me bitch you're so much smarter than me i'd so i have so many screenshots of what gigglers have said to me that i because i was like i'm never going to be able to find these dms again i have to screenshot all of them yeah a bunch of girls were like hey urologist is great but that's really for men you need to right i'm like what you're so mad right now i was so mad and they were like you need to go to a urologist gynecologist i didn't even know that was a fucking thing so i was like oh okay then

i'm not going to a urologist wasting my time and his i need to find a urologist gynecologist Isn't that just a gyna? I don't know. No, they specialize in like urology. Gyna glauagogy. Yes. Well, I keep getting DMs and it's like, please send this to page. And at first I'm like, do I have to?

And then I'm like, what if this is the advice that changes her life? We're so dramatic. I texted you one. I was like, I think this is it. And you were like, calm down. I was like, what if the answer is in my DMs and I didn't forward it to you? You are Lenore. You're literally slowly turning into Lenore.

I don't want that kind of karma. Like, I don't need that. That's actually so cute. Wait, I also have a new ick. Like, this is the craziest ick I've ever gotten. The fact that his parents made him. No, I have an egg. That's disgusting.

Wait, okay. Okay, that's like a little broad. That's a little broad. But like, you're saying, like him as a child no like that he was like a sperm and then it was like they they literally one day like don't be conceived hooked up that's so if you're a guy don't be like he was nothing and his parents made him like he wouldn't be here if his parents didn't have sex like that's disgusting i've been seeing i saw a lot of people getting engaged like on christmas like on ticot like

people that like and here's the other thing half the time i don't know if it's a skinner not but the only time I'm literally 95 years old I have to go in the comments I'm like is this a skit the amount of women I've seen proposing to met I was like this has to be a skit there's just no way there was one comment it was good and it was like girl stand up because she was like she was kneeling down proposing and this girl was just the comment was just girl stand up I was like going on that is insane But I wonder, like, if it's super traditional, like, he's going to take care of the household. And, like, maybe she's...

Even if they say they are, do they? I know. They're not going to do it as well as, like, someone else. Like, they don't have the heart. No, you've got to have a heart to, like... I just, like, I couldn't imagine ever... Well, because I wouldn't ever wonder, like, what do you have proposed to me? Well, yeah.

And I can't imagine as a man being, like, comfortable getting proposed too like she literally just called you a beta bitch without saying saying you were going to say beta blocker no I would need a beta blocker if someone said you have to propose I'd be like what I did see one of those videos and it was front of the whole family yeah it was probably the one I saw maybe it was a lavender marriage you just can't judge you don't know people's dynamics. I was thinking about how last year this exact episode is the episode where it's just crazy how things change in a year.

I know. Before we recorded this episode, I was like, oh my God, last year at this time, I was probably like shaking, had to take a beta because I was about to say that like I broke up, like I'm going through a breakup. And it was this episode. And I'm literally, I was like in my childhood bedroom, which is where I recorded it. And I was thinking about it. it again this year when I was home for Christmas and I was like first of all how dramatic how dramatic

you were not being dramatic it was the time but it's just crazy like you think of things and you're like oh my god that was a year ago and I feel so insanely different like obviously from a whole year and I feel like I get like so many DMs from girls like I'm going through a breakup like how how do you go through a breakup and I also get a lot of girls like in my DMs being like Like, I think I should break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know if it's the right time. Like, how do you know if it's right or not? I love that you've become the breakup artist. I'm like, guys, I have no freaking idea.

If you feel the need to DM page to ask her about your boyfriend, it's break up with him. It's done. It's done. Honestly, that. If you click on her profile, that means you should break up with him. You say, I'm going to just see what page thinks real quick. You don't want to date him anymore. You hate him.

He's gay. And so I, like, I get so many girls. And I feel like one of the reason, for me, I was always thinking about, like, the aftermath. Like, oh, my God, what's going to happen after? What are people going to say? Like, blah, blah, blah. And I feel like that, like, made me freeze. Like, I was frozen for so long with the fear of that.

And it's such a waste of time because, one, nothing could even happen or, I mean, I couldn't have cooked up in my head what happened this year. So it's like, don't let that. It was 10 times worse than what I was imagined. okay so don't even worry about it's going to be way worse just pull the trigger but it's pull the trigger is right you were in fight or flight but you weren't fighting and you weren't flighting you were just like frozen you were stuck and the truth is is moving is the best that you could do because then there'll be a different issue at least no then there will be a different issue

literally don't get stuck with the same issue that's boring I might as well have seen rumors that I was a drug dealer. I was like, I can make that more plausible than what you're saying currently. Move the plot line of your life. Keep moving it. I always felt though, like once I was over a guy, I felt like I was going to throw up. And every time I talked to him, I felt like I was about to say, like, I don't want to be with you anymore. So like you were much better at, you're like a cat, actually, where they say a cat can be really sick, but they won't show it. and no one knows that they're sick where a dog will be like yeah shitting everywhere vomiting yeah so that's me where I'm I literally am like I don't care what's on the other side

it'll be at least it'll be different than what I'm feeling now which is not sustainable where you're like I think I can manage this for right a couple years and I feel like it also forced me into like this year I really feel like I was forced into learning the lesson of like let people be wrong about you which is uncomfortable and like frustrating which I hate but I feel like because I was on reality TV I could never learn that like I couldn't let people be wrong about me because it was like I was getting asked about it all the time and it was like so like now when I see anything about myself and it's like an uncomfortable feeling of like okay well that's not true or like what the hell is that it's more like being comfortable being like okay well you're like wrong about

me and I feel like this summer was the first summer in seven years that I didn't have anyone being like what are what's every thought you're having and tell us everything and what's going on and so it was just like a very transformative year in that sense even and then even to the point of like when I did start seeing someone I felt like I couldn't even say anything because it was like I had a group of ops like filming a TV show and I like obviously wasn't telling them any personal information about my life because like when people are so committed no seriously when people are so committed to hating you they're full time job they're full time you're like okay well I can't even give an ounce of personal information because you'll run with it and twist it and change it and it's

like so crazy so that's why I don't talk about my relationship except yeah on giggly squad the little things that I feel the gigglers will laugh at it was yeah it was just like such an interesting year because I feel like we did so many things professionally, which were amazing. And then personally, I was just like, I felt like I was really learning like a lot of lessons that I wouldn't have been able to learn and complete without leaving reality TV. Which is crazy. I'm obsessed with that. Well, even just like getting into a summer where you're like, wait a minute, I don't have to spill my guts. Or if you don't spill everything, you're considered like evil.

yeah if you want to protect yourself at all you're like right bad person right and if you don't like explain everything or like talk about every single rumor it's like okay but then i'm giving people who are making things up about me control like i'm not like fuck that say whatever you want about me i don't give a shit i think you got to the point with reality tv where they just force you to have opinions on so many things that you regularly would not have opinions on and you get you're just like I don't want to talk about other people's lives to this extent. Yeah. Yeah, there was like a certain amount of emotional growth that I was like, I don't think I'm feeling things that I should be feeling at my age.

Do you know what I mean? So true. So true. Like I still mentally felt in my 20s and I was like, I'm turning 33. Well, you're stuck in something. You're stuck in another. You're stuck in a storyline. Yes. Honey. And I was like, okay.

to go I do kind of love though you saying like being okay with being misunderstood as a people pleaser that was really hard for me but I think you realize oh people are going to go out of their way to misunderstand you yeah and no matter how hard do you try so it's like do you want to have a losing battle with people who like you could literally be mother teresa and they'll be like I don't like how she did that yeah and so it's like do you want to have your whole life be you trying to it's like with friends trying to get people to like you who decided before they met you they don't like you right and it's like the over explaining and I really was thinking about it too because I'm like I'm sure a lot of people feel like this around the holidays when they're with

their families like having to over explain who you're dating what your job is like just different things and that's what like really made me think about it and I was just like no like be wrong about me and I feel like that is like a part of growing up like you don't have to explain every single thing and you don't have to like make people like you don't have to tell people why they should like you that it's none of your business you know I mean mine was also a little different because that there was like rumors that were just like categorically false but I was like fuck it I don't give a shit it's very violating feeling and I think everyone's dealt with like rumors and stuff about them but it always stems from something that doesn't have to do with you

is what I've learned literally literally It's always people projecting their shit on you and you represent something to them, which as two people who don't shut up, like we do, we get in the firing squad every now and then. I mean, yeah, like this last year, I had tons of ups and downs. I have to say there was something about your notes. Like, we all write a lot of notes. Yeah. Do you ever accidentally, like, scroll down to your notes from, like, 2017?

And I literally had, like, a list of funny videos I wanted to make. And, like, in that. moment no I almost cried because I was like I'm looking at these videos and I'm like I was just so excited to try to make people laugh I didn't know what the fuck was about to happen in my life like when we started giggly swad pre gigged pre summer house you're saying personally oh okay sorry yeah but if you look my notes like literally are my journal my notes on my phone where it you see like the stuff I was brainstorming the stuff that I was just like doing during the week Just any weird numbers, but it's so interesting to scroll through your notes app. Also, a big life update for me. Maybe my second biggest of the year. The first one was the driver's license. I went to Verizon yesterday and I got off the family plan.

No, I know. It took an hour. It took a full hour of customer service. My hands were sweating. If you guys know me, I hate admin. Des literally was like put me. So just you and Dad's on a plan. so no I know and I was like he's not my emergency contact they were like no no no I said okay just

just checking just checking but my my parents I was still my parents plan because it's like so difficult to get off it yeah and my dad was just like I guess like billing me each month skimming some off the top who knows who knows and so finally I'm off it does and I are on a family plan together now so like it's kind of serious I actually think that's more serious than emergency see contact are you selling your family plan sure i am yeah okay i i felt like what i'm gonna start a family plan with myself you and daphne you could join ours if you want i don't know if that's legal actually but it was i don't know wait do you have to actually be in the same family to have a family plan i'm like that's my best friend right like that's family that's yeah like how would you prove it just be like oh well she

has a different last name because she got married they didn't even ask for like a relationship that's so one that's so interesting very interesting i don't know the technicalities but like does and i literally physically went to a verizon store i took a deep breath and i was like fuck me up fam and i survived it and i got the new i had an iphone 13 now i have an iphone 17 things have changed yeah really good it is i just took like a pic photo of my cat so far but it was really really good photo and And finally, I learned. It actually does work if you download shows before you go on a plane. I thought you made that up.

Wow. 2026 is like, my friends are realizing things. I thought that you just said that so you didn't have to talk to me on the plane. No, that's like a real thing. It really works. And I watched Mormon wives. Well, I'm in the Whitney lore and I want to see what was going on. Can I talk shit?

yeah sure since we're getting into it whenever you see a drama of someone not showing up to a party it's so fucking produced i can't deal with it yeah the fact that you know whitney was like oh i'm not really close to taylor anymore also she spread a lot of rumors about me obviously the producers made it really chill with whitney like yeah you don't have to go you know that they weren't like this is a huge deal everyone's going to be mad they definitely were like yeah some people aren't coming you don't have to go. I know you're mad at Taylor. You don't have to. And she was like, sure, okay, I have a family. I'll watch them today. And then all the girls show up. And then they make the mom call Whitney and he's like, I've never talked to her on the phone before at all. Like,

it's so fucking made up. The mom's like, doesn't even know who Whitney is. And she's like, how could you not come to myx? Like, it's literally so made up. And then all the girls are like, where's Whitney? Where's Whitney? I'm like, this should win an Oscar. This is amazing. And the fact that America turned on her starting on that no okay sometimes I will be watching a reality TV show and I'm like shoot we make fun of the men so bad for watching the WWE when in reality sometimes the thing we're watching the girl version of WWE sometimes by the way I fully support reality TV I don't support people watching a show and like believing that a person is that evil as they're trying to know like no and that everyone else is like god is angels and one person

is like evil just like putting fire on everyone so anyway that's my two cents about that um what have you been what oh i was going to say one more thing that i forgot to say that i wanted to say since i feel like this is our new thing like every december right before new years we just have like an unhinged episode so something else happened to me during the year that i couldn't say in like real time but I think it's like it's not funny but it's like there is a part that is funny so I was dealing with like a stalker situation like nothing really crazy but also like kind of had to get like people involved to the point where at some point I had to go into a police station so I'm walking no no Hannah the admin I got a text message and it was like I think it's time for

you to file a police report and I go file a police report does that what They'd be like, what's your full name? And I'm like, I can't do this. I literally can't do this. What's your date of birth? I don't know. So I don't even think I told you this story. So I'm walking to the police station and like, I'm nervous.

I'm like going over like the story in my head. I'm like, okay, and I have to show them this and this and blah, blah, blah. And so I walk in there. And I'm thinking like straight SVU, papers are going to be flying. Phone's going to be ringing off the hook. Someone's going to be in handcuffs, like yelling. And I'm like bracing myself. A police siren's going to go off.

Something's happening in there. I open the door. You could hear a pin drop. Nobody's even in there. There was maybe like two people in the back. I go up to the window, like up to the lady. I like tell her my whole story and she like looks at me and she's like, yeah. We'll keep like basically like you're being dramatic.

We'll keep an eye on it type thing. But in my head, all it, here's the other thing. All I wanted to do was tell the gigglers, but I was like, this is just, like, not safe. Like, yeah, yeah. It's obviously, like, under control now, and I, like, have a handle on the situation. But the way that the movies and TV shows, I actually left pissed. I was like, okay, so it's, it's not, like, SVU at all. You have to start watching documentaries, girl, because no one listens to anyone.

No one, no one's listening to anything and everything is done wrong. I was like, I feel like you're not taking this seriously. I like retold my story. I was like, no, but listen to this part. Or people will file reports. Yeah. Honestly. Serious things and no one will like flag it like this could escalate.

I'm going to be honest, the best like my doorman. My doormen in my building like I was like told them. The whole story told like the police situation printed out a picture of the person like hung it up in the wall. like anytime I like had to leave they would like walk me out look both ways one time one of my doorman got in my Uber and said let me see your face because I was nervous that the person that was well my mom got me nervous that the person that was stalking me was going to sign up for Uber and then become my Uber driver we got into a real spiral like a while ago a couple months ago but anyway I was been like dying to tell this on the pod but I like I legitimately couldn't so anyway

stay safe out there girls you got a guy to resolve it on yeah i got it essentially it's taken care of we're not gonna we're not gonna we're not gonna yeah we're look at the NYPD was busy took situation into my own hands we're all good no one's gonna be bothering me for a while i got a friend in sicily that you know deals with this stuff he specializes watch your fucking back well i'm really really really really sorry that you had to go through that. Thank you. No, it was honestly like a transformative year. I feel so I just feel like we had the best year. Yeah. No, totally. And I think the year wasn't like easy. It had a ton of ups and downs, but I feel like we were, we're like more equipped to deal with adversity. We became New York Times

bestselling authors. I totally forgot. No, I literally forgot. Like I was looking back in my pictures and I was like, oh my God, yeah, me and Hannah played at Radio City in January. I do have to say, I think it's a little annoying on my feed when people are like best moments of 20, 25. And then they post like, I did this. I did this. I did this. I did this. I posted one of those.

No, you posted best outfits. On TikTok, I posted best moments of doing it. It was everything I did. You want to know what though, mine is outfit focused. I'm showing all those. Oh, so you give me a pass. Other people are bragging. I don't like when people are like super, super.

braggy. No, other people brag about it. I don't. I'm just literally showing my outfit. You used it as a vehicle to show your outfits through video. Because I just feel like it could make people feel bad. Because I'm like, it's just also like a lot of these people accomplish a lot of things, but like they were miserable the whole time. I just want to raise awareness about that. Were you happy? Like, you know, like, yes. Like, I just feel like sometimes. That's so true. And I like that is why I love Giggly Squad because after we do no because like okay after we did Jimmy Fallon anyone could have looked at those pictures and been like amazing little did they know we almost passed out behind the curtain like prior to so like yeah there's a lot of things that you do that

are cool that I'm like I almost died mm-hmm a hundred percent so when you're seeing other people's year in review I almost posted a funny one that was like I grew up my nails like in a broker world records like long with the gel still on that was pretty crazy but like driver's license is honestly like my biggest that was a really big accomplishment speaking of accomplishments i saw this actually i don't even know if it's real oh my god i literally i can't even go on the internet you did send me an ai cat thing yeah well that i knew was fake okay i saw this thing that um it was like a story about michel and barraq obama and it said oh i wrote that down too we both had the same note for the first time ever that Barack Obama said to Michelle that he ran into her like high school or college boyfriend

and he's a what was his job he's a doctor and he Barack said to Michelle you would have been a doctor's wife and she turned around and said no he would have been the president and I thought oh that is I have chills she she would have been the president's wife oh that is that is so so just like it's so true though like that's why all the men are trying to marry us because men know they need us to like there's so many men that I'm like if he had a girlfriend he would have his shit so much more together together also men name a man name a man you've been inspired name a man name a man you've been inspired by recently um name an inspirational man and he did rivalry and what a good segue did you go to the cottage of of course where did you watch

the year of the cottage in my bedroom at home and at my parents house and I was texting one of my friends who is a gay man and we were just like chitch chatting about the show and he said page I don't think you're understanding because this came out during Christmas break there's so many gay men who are home watching this in their childhood bedrooms which is the first place that they had these first thoughts of like I'm gay watching gay porn and he was like and so to watch a television show in my childhood bedroom that is like this he was like I just I can't explain it to you and that I was like oh my god like obviously I didn't think of that but like it really changed my whole perspective we still we still come from the

generation of guys who like had to come out yes like obviously the gen zes and the gen alphas have to come out but it's it's more like it's easier like guys our age were there was like very few guys who were out in high school right wait did you see on ticot the straight men who used to play hockey they have a podcast i want to say it's like the the net netters something i'll look it up straight men ex-NHL players watched every episode and like reviewed it and it was so so like refreshing to see because they were like genuinely talking about the plot and they were like I'm obsessed with him like they've got to get to get and it was like no this is how it should be talked about by straight man what I'm obsessed with with he did rivalry too is that they also happen to be the best

players in the league the guy who won the cup the two other guys they're all the best best player so it's almost like i don't know i wonder if more athletes are going to come out like this is fucking huge no i really think it is like such a cultural i better see some fucking men making out at the end of the super bowl or i'm going to be pissed wouldn't that be nice i want to see some helmets clanking no i want the men to do something like do something crazy like that you know it's always the girls you know it's like we had brittney and christina make out on stage like Guys, do you something. Spice it up. I do have to admit, I did go through like a depression because I decided to watch all of

season one of Euphoria in like two days. And I was alone in the house. That is so not even a U show. What did you think? No, and I forced myself. I feel like the filmography, is that a word? filmography was cool like it was like well done um it gives like a 24 like yes like and I appreciate art but also like I don't care about drugs and I don't care about kids in high school so but I do think

it was Zendaya's best work I care about I care about both of those things like I literally go oh I'm doing drugs I'm like I nothing I love more than a teeny bopper freaking high school show and if one of them dies in it oh even better fuck yeah it also gives me like you just remember high school and you remember being like i just feel bad for myself because it's like there's no way you can understand what's going on or get control of the situation but you're trying so hard to like understand who you are and like the social dynamics i think euphoria is like a bit extreme i i highly doubt that is the no there's no way that's like the norm of high school kids have you watched tell me lies no that's on my list but again another one that i think you should start that because the third

season is coming out and that's why i watch you for it because the third season um also i am in a khole with great british baking show it just like threw me off that you said khole because i was like My first thought was like, does she actually know what that is? Do you know what that is? No. But I felt right. It felt right. I envision a K-hole is like you get really high and you just see a bunch of Ks.

Do you know, like, I think one of the main reasons why I'm like not scared to get older is because even though we're like a similar age, you'll always feel older to me because you don't know certain things. that people are age, no. Wait, I love that you're like, I'm not afraid to be older because you'll always be older than me, and I can always be like, at least I'm not Hannah's age. By the way, guys, one year. It's one year. Also, I've been hanging out, like,

I went to a couple, like, coffee dates with this girl who's, like, 30, 31. And she looks at me, and she goes, it's so nice to have an older friend. No, like, I actually almost threw up for, I was like, what you're talking about? She's like, no, no, no, like, all my friends are, like, in their 20s. And it's just nice to be with someone who's like, no, all my friends aren't dead.

And so, like, what? Like, I, I, oh, my God. When did I become, like, oh, I'm not someone's wise friend. Like, I'm young and fun. No, I know. Oh, also. Wait, what did you say you were in a K-hole from? Great British baking show.

Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Which, haven't you watched? Yeah. It's really good. It's like at the end of the day, like after watching Euphoria for so long, I needed something so. It's like when you date a really horrible man and then immediately you have to date like the nicest guy on the planet. And he's like way too nice. But you're like, I just need this for like six months.

Just let me have this. So I've just been hearing people talk about puddings and loaves and, you know. It really gets your mind right. And because then you're like, nothing's a big deal. It's very important. But they help each other? Like someone's like... Isn't that amazing?

Someone's three layer cake is falling and someone's like, oh, can I help you there? They're like, oh, of course. It's so nice. Speaking of TV, so Paige and I got asked to do this end of the year thing for ABC Year in Review, which was giving me like PTSD confessional style. Yes. And you're so... And it was before I got my veneer, which I'm like really annoyed about.

But anyway... Well, the clips came out and I have a note. You, your angle is my good side and my angle. And by the way, we're solo. My angle is my bad side. Where, who do I want to? No, my angle was my, my angle was what you wanted. And your angle was what I wanted.

No, I know. Yeah. What do we do? I don't know. Should we tell them not to play it? I guess I, like, didn't realize it was happening as we were filming it. But I think the funniest thing about this was that me and Hannah got asked to do this together, but we were filming on separate days because of like

whatever schedule stuff. And the night before Hannah, I texted Hannah and I go, what are you wearing to the ABC thing? And you like, new in your heart. And she was like, I don't, I don't know. And I was like, great. Again, like, you always do this. So then I pick out my outfit. And I'm like, this is what I'm wearing. It's like waste up. And I was like, and then I have glam. And Hannah goes, I'm not getting glam. I go Hannah. It's on ABC News. Prime time.

It's a close-up of your face. It's a close-up. You're getting... Of your bad side. You're getting your hair and makeup professionally done. I don't know. Something comes over me sometimes when I'm just like, I'm going to save four hours of my life and not do glam.

We sent with the Kardashians right now. No, well, do you want to know what? Because sometimes, like, when we do something, we're doing it, like, in the moment, but it's not being released to the world for months and months. So you genuinely forget about it. And so, like, everyone has a day where you're like, I'm so tired. Like, I don't want to do my hair where you're like, I'll throw it up in a bun. Except if we do that, then six months later, people are like,

can you believe that's what she wore? That stupid cunt. You're like, holy fuck. I had a day that day. I think I was coming home from like a six state tour of like seven shows and it was like Monday morning and I was like I'd rather get three more hours of sleep and answer the questions well but you were like my mom in that moment you said I don't look at me look at me I don't care you're getting you're glammed on you're not embarrassing the family the difference between you and other people is you work harder show it do it this is not how we are oh God so that's going to air tonight which is fun. I don't know how much they're actually going to put of us talking. I feel like you're really good with one-liner. So you should have a bunch. I might have been cut. You know, we still haven't gotten our wish of like doing a confessional together. Like for how many ever years we were on

reality TV and we asked every single year, hey, we think it'd be funny if you gave us a confessional together. Who's going to give us a confessional together? I think this podcast is our confessional together. Like this is what we had to do to get it. Um, yeah. Also, did you hear the drama? Um, um, about the Michigan coach the one that she did on his wife yeah with the girl that worked there and then went to her house and said he was going to like burn it down that one yeah yeah I feel like there's been a lot of sports stuff happening like then there was a coach that switched teams in the middle of the night and I kept thinking did that really mean the middle of the night I go is that a saying okay stana what are you talking about middle of the night well I feel like my TikTok sometimes like

if you watch one fucking video, then all of the sudden you get all these videos. So I'm getting the videos about the Michigan guy, cheating on his wife. It's videos of him like walking out of the tunnel with the mistress. Then I'm getting videos of another guy who changed teams in the middle of the season. And they kept being like, he changed teams in the middle of the night. And I'm like, actually? Or is that a figure of speech? He just showed up at the new team at 4 a.m., like you up.

So yeah, the coaches needed to get it together. but it is funny they put these coaches on a pedestal i remember even like wisconsin the football coach like he was like the god of the school the football coach yeah a lot of them are just like horny creeps sorry i said it sorry i said it well yeah it's just like they could hook up with the girls on campus that's surprising because they're like powerful if they wanted to you know what's crazy though is that we ever get that like women are so emotional it's like dude you could have just gotten fired gotten a divorce gotten a new job later now you have to go to jail like what yeah that escalated so quickly so quickly you could have just like called your mom talked it out came up with a solution

let like we all went through a saturn return and didn't go to jail it's possible do men go through Saturn returns? Wait, when do you think mine was? I think that mine was. What kind of fucking question? When do you think mine was during the time that you were having panic tags on stage for a full year? That was your Saturn return, babe. I think I was, I think I had had it prior to that. Because everyone said you had it when you're 27. You didn't listen to your Saturn return. I think mine was like during COVID and I was just like, sorry, I don't have the time. And they were like no bitch you're gonna make the time oh so you think mine was that tour was so transformative for us for me specifically but like also we loved it no I loved it no there's still so much

coming from it like we haven't even even the good stuff that happened we haven't even said yet I haven't even processed it I do have to say also I'm very busy on my phone right now because so many people in my life have adopted cats and you know I love sending cat memes but I don't send the same cat memes to everyone because not every cat meme is equal Right like Sierra gets different ones than I get Yes Sierra gets is your orange cat crazy

How do you speak to your cat who's naughty And then Grace gets all the tuxedo cats And then you get all the fluffy beautiful cats Or this aesthetic cats My cats always have like glitter Yes glitter cats And smoking a seg I am in a K-hole of organizing cat

memes there's so many layers my mom it's about having three cats if you had to take if you had to take just a wild guess on what a k-hole is can you give us like just a just a one sentence like what you think it is i think it's when you take like lSD and you get so high that you're just like spiraling and you like you like murder a family or something kind of you pull a michigan coach i think he was in a K-holes? It's basically you take ketamine, which is a horse tranquilizer. And then you're, wait, horses are just out here taking, getting K-holes all the time? Well, no, they're taking it for like medical reasons. Okay.

And then people take it because it obviously is more potent because we're much smaller than a frickin' horse. I love when you turn to a doctor. And people, because I've watched so many people fall into a K-hole where I'm like, are you okay? In real life? yes and so they'll take it and then you literally can't move here's the thing when i was in my 20s when i was in my 20s i like after COVID and i went out again like to the bars and the clubs i saw people doing drugs and they were doing ketamine and i was like i must be so old in the scene

because what the fuck do you mean what do you yeah i don't even know how you would do it i don't want to know how you would do it i'm like how are you standing my biggest fear is like doing a drug and then not being able to move while like that's exactly what this drug is someone's talking you and i'm literally paralyzing yourself but you're like yeah you would hate i always felt that's why i would have panic attacks on weed because like i i would be watching myself embarrassing myself like i'm watching other people watch me and watch myself being embarrassed and i'm like this is like i'm already too in my head um anyway okay what's your next k-hole I love that we were redefining it.

Oh, um, it's really, it's your knowledge. I did get in a brief c-hole because, um, I read a comment accidentally that was mean about me. And it's very unique. Oh, cool. It kind of made me laugh. It was one of those. Someone said the back of my head is flatter than Kansas. I didn't know the back, you know the back of my head is none of my business.

Do I have a flat back of my head? well it's on the side so it can't really see put your hand down it now go down down down is it like does it curve on in i don't know but like i have a flat head maybe maybe my hair was flat in the back i don't know a man said it so i was like wait that is like really specific i get the most specific random things my knees the back of my head but also things that i'm like okay good one like see i just get like my character you know like you're an evil person i'm like i also wanted to let you know in the new year i realize i i am a little bit of a germaphobe with some things there's one thing i'm a huge germophobe about i would never ever ever

buy a neck cushion from a Hudson News in an airport. Because all people do, when they walk in, the first thing you do, it's the rule you have to squeeze the neck cushion. That neck cushion has been squeezed by so many dirty little fingers. You're so right. Like, I think the toilet is cleaner. I think I've bought so many, too. In my lifetime.

I don't have one right now currently, and I have one right now currently, and I haven't used one in years, but like, in my lifetime, I've probably bought about seven, eight. Yeah, like. Thank you for raising awareness, though. But you turned out okay. It could be the reason for your UTIs, though. Wait, you know how everyone's getting, you know how everyone's getting sick right now? Like, everyone has the flu.

Yeah. I was like, wait, I literally don't leave my house. I'm like, wow, everyone's dropping like flies. And I'm like, I wonder why I'm not getting sick. And I'm like, oh, I haven't interacted with another person in two months. You're literally quarantining yourself. Literally. I'm kind of obsessed with you being in a class action lawsuit for buying airport neck cushions.

Are you getting UTIs every day? And you possibly bought a neck cushion from La Borgia? Once I go to my urologist, gynecologist, it is over for you, bitches. No, I can't. Final thought. But Leonardo DiCaprio never saw the Titanic. I saw that with Jennifer Lawrence. Petitioned for Jennifer Lawrence to just be a red carpet correspondent.

For sure. Yeah, she was doing serious journalism. The Lord's work. Leonardo doesn't talk to press. When she said... Oh, she made fun of him, like, dating? No, when she was with all the women, and she was like, what color does this sound like?

like because what's her name said oh i see color when i like when singing and so she just goes what color is that kansas cynthia rivo well people forget that before jennifer lawrence was accused of being the most annoying person in the world she was the most charming person in the world and very funny but it's a thin line with women it's a thin line the people tried to anne hathaway her and it's like not on my watch not on my watch if any of you guys had a bad year just remember that Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence were stoned yeah people tried to say they were annoying now they're back in action so if they could recover from that you can recover from whatever you went through this last year so true the other side is just so much better you got to go through

some shit you just have to buckle down and like nothing good lasts and nothing bad lasts Oh, my God. You're so... And when people can't mess with your character, they come for your reputation. And just remember that one. That's my 2026. And I do have to say any horrible things you guys went through in 2025. I guarantee it made you funnier and more interesting at parties.

I've told that stalker story so many times. The stalker's like, tag me at least. get some credit my credit is like okay so you are home like what okay so you're obsessed with me you're stalking me at this point if you say my name one more time this is so it's so dark okay I'm coming he's on his way so I actually have to go also they only mentioned me like once and one of the letters I was kind of I was like I'm kind of a big part of her life I was Oh, my stalker referred to Hannah, but literally in one text. And so I'm, like, screenshotting, sending to Hannah.

And she's like, was that it about me? And I'm like, okay. I'm literally, just threatened my life. And you're like so, it's a giggly squat. If you're hanging out with your friends one night and one of them gets kidnapped, that's obviously horrible. But for a second, we all were like, what's wrong with me? Like, why was I not chosen?

Okay, we need to be stopped. We need to be stopped. Oh, God. Happy New Year. I can't wait to do our second episode. After New Year's Eve, I would've been. Yeah. After New Year's Eve next week.

Wait. Oh, yeah. No, we like, we're doing two episodes a week starting. Let me like give you guys officials so we, we don't have any confusion. Starting the week of January 5th, we're going two episodes a week. Every episode, nothing changes. We're just double Oreo double stuffed. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah. Love you guys. Bye.