Giggly Squad - Giggling about meatballs, minions, and masseter disasters

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Paige has been poisoned and Hannah is soft launching her husband. subscribe to our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Got away from me? Hello, my gastrointestinal gigglers. Paige, how are you? I'm peeing from my asshole.

That's the most annoying person to go on vacation with. Like, I truly must be a menace. You were complaining about not eating enough at dinner. Now you ate and are dealing with the repercussions. But what happened? So I'm at dinner last night. We're getting appetizers. I see meatballs on the menu.

You sent me a photo of them. I go, look how gorgeous these balls are. And I wrote adorable. I love a little ball. I take a bite. I'm like, oh my God, this is so good. My brother gets the same thing. I look over at my mom.

I'm like, you have to have one of these meatballs. I'm a whole meatball in. Okay. I cut another one in half. I give it to put it on my mom's plate. It's red sauce on the meatball. So I'm thinking nothing. My mom looks at it and she goes, I don't think this is cooked. And my whole face goes white. I'm like, I'm like, what do you mean? It's not cooked. And my brother looks at me and he's like, it's not that big of a deal. Like beef carpaccio. Like don't like you're literally like you're freaking out over nothing. And I'm like, also you're in Italy. Everything is good. I'm like, I'm freaking out over nothing. I get back to my room. I fall asleep at like 5 a.m.

I'm woken up by the own sounds of my stomach. I said, what a little melody. We're playing. I mean, the gurgling was, I literally woke up. I go, something's going on in the room next door. What the fuck is that sound? You go, there's a tornado. I run to the bath. I'm truly peeing from my asshole. I get up, I'm dizzy. I'm lightheaded. Like I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to throw up. I could throw up just talking.

I get back in bed. I fall asleep for a couple hours. I'm like, I'm fine. I just like, my body's so sensitive. Like, I'm literally, I'm fine. I go to the pool all day. I think the heat. And then I had prosciutto and cheese.

And I thought, no, I'm full. fine i can eat this i had a little bread i literally had to leave the pool run to my bathroom pee from my asshole again now i'm cold now i'm getting the shakes now i have a fever i my head is pounding i'm like here and here's the thing it is a privilege to travel i am so privileged it is a privilege to get sick on perjudo i am so blessed in this life that i live But when people say I love traveling, I don't relate to them because my body is so sensitive. It's, I can't get thrown off or it's like. Well, also, yeah, you don't have your vibrating plate.

Like, you don't. I don't have my stuff. There's a lot of things that go into you existing and you don't just go into hotel room and have everything you need. Even if it's five stars. I'm checking three furbo cameras every 10 minutes. I'm like. I'm such a pain in the ass. Kitty put a little hex on you.

She said, yeah, go have fun. Go have fun. Leave me at home. Every year, there's like a, there's a pool rule at our hotel that like once it hits 2 p.m. Like kids have to get out of the pool. I thought you were going to say pool rule, no diarrhea. When they write that, like someone with diarrhea would be like, you know what would be good being in the pool right now? Well, I'm sitting in the pool and I'm like, I have to go to my room and fart because I'm not.

having a Hannah burner in Capri. Okay. I'm not Hannah-burnering all over. It's a verb now. We're about to Hannah-Berner this pool. I'm like, I'm not sharding in a Gucci bathing suit. I rather kill myself. Vintage. You can't just buy it if you lose it. Also, farting in a pool is so freeing when it's not a shart. Because that's just... This pool, like, it's a big circle pool and there's like random buttons that you can press and like jets will come on. And the first thing I think of was Hannah would freaking love this. And every time I have to pee, I turn the jet on. Wait, so where's your stomach in this moment?

Where are we at? She's just like gurgling a little. She's like, I think she's like getting better. But now it's just like my head. I'm dehydrated. I'm just like, here's another thing. I realized I'm so goddamn sick of myself. Everything's about me all the time.

And I think it's because I'm on vacation with my parents where like they're so obsessed with me. I'm like, enough with this bitch. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, can we get one other topic to talk about a dinner? And this year for whatever reason, there's so many babies at the pool. Like baby babies. Like not speaking.

Like not even a year old. And I've had like such. You're like, can't even have a good conversation. Can't even not even a hello. How are you? I can't even put the sentence together. But I've been having such like baby fever. I don't.

know why and I think it's because I'm sick of my own shit figuratively and literally I do have to say the only time I've been wanting to have a baby is when I'm like I want to deal with someone else's issues yeah I'm ready to pour myself into someone else and let myself fade away I do think that's something that kind of happens in your 30s like you're like oh it's me again morning me again Wait, what is that? I feel like no one... It's called being tired. And I think that's why people like to have babies and people to talk about it.

Your 20s, you're like, I'm so excited to like explore who I am. And you're like, yep, no who I am. I'm good. And honestly, I don't fuck with her. So let's like move on. Right. Like everyone talks about like, oh, your biological clock starts ticking. You get so maternal.

I'm not feeling that. I'm feeling like... Let's talk about someone else. character into the storyline because I've ran out of storylines over here. I'm sick of them. Also, side note, the gigglers wrote in our YouTube, they were like, Hannis, this is a safe space, let your smile fly. So I'm not going to cover my smile when I laugh this episode. That is so sweet. Not because I necessarily feel safe, but because I'm at the point with the smile fiasco, or as people call the master disaster.

Wait, that's so cute. It's cute. That's adorable. I have to say shout out to my husband who I love soft launching on Instagram. Do you notice? You've been married for five years. I don't put him in any photo. It's just like you'll see his hands and everyone's like kind of soft launching.

So he's my soft launch baby. But he's distracted me, but he's again doing his tough love thing where now I have someone with me so every like every like 20 minutes i'm like do you think it looks better and he's like i swear to god if you ask me one more fucking time he goes your smile is like a stock you invest in it don't check for a year and i was like what kind of analogy is that but he's like kind of low key right he's like if you keep checking every day it's going to be torturous he's like come back to me in a month and check it Do you feel like it has, like from when you first got it, do you feel like any little, like a more range of motion? No, but I do feel like emotionally, I've come to terms with it a little more where I'm not like waking up and being like, oh my God, I can't smile.

I'm like, this is she, this is what I, is my life. The shock has worn off. The shock has worn off. Also last week, my sweet sweet. Oh my God. I was so determined and hopeful. I was like running. I was going to sauna.

I was getting acupuncture. I was doing massages. I was doing microcurrents. Did you do acupuncture in your face? Yeah, I did it in my face. Oh, how was that? I've never done that. I've never done it in my face.

It's interesting because you do feel like kind of a rush of the blood. Like I feel like it's doing something. Totally. I don't think it helped. I do feel like acupuncture is one of those things that like it doesn't work unless you did it every day all day. Like so many girls I feel like have recommended it and I've done it before for like certain pain and I'm like yeah I can feel something but unless I'm doing this three times a week like and this is a lot. Yeah they recommend twice a week but also no I just had so much hope for myself and I was like I'm gonna

beat this I can beat this. You're like I'm not a statistic. I know I literally was like I'm gonna be the one girl that like tricked her nerves to not do this because I I'm I'm working so hard at it and I care. And then I woke up this morning and I said, bitch, you can't beat Botox. This is your nerve endings. No, it's a chemical. It's a poison. You're done. You're done. It is kind of crazy though. And because that it happened to both of us in such a short amount of time. And now the gigglers are sending me so many DMs of like different stories like on Instagram and TikTok of like it's poison. It's like. Did you see my mom commented under our video? saying don't do drugs.

Like my mom is horrified. My mom's never touched her face. Her mom's never touched her face. Her mom's mom's never touched her face. And she's like, yeah, bitch, you put crazy stuff in your face. Of course something stupid is going to happen to you. I do implore the filler girls to just do a little research. Because God forbid you do something with filler and then that's it.

That's it. That's what you look like. That's and it's, I just like have my mom in the back of my head. Like if God wanted you to look like that, he would have made you like that. Well, yes. Kim has been searching the island for rosary beads. She said, I just want a nice, you would think that they have rosary beads here. And they don't.

She can't find them. She's literally, it's ruining her trip. I guess because the rosary, no one needs it on vacation. Everyone's relaxed. You don't need a rosary on vacation. I don't know. But Italy is so funny because if you look anywhere randomly, there's just like a statue of the Blessed Mother.

And you're just like, okay, sorry. It's like me and Canada. I'm seeing like different celebrities on ads that are like really famous here. I'm like, oh, I didn't know they were big in Canada. That's the lesson Mary in Italy. I'm like, she's huge. Every time we go to like the pool or anywhere, my dad will say, hey, look at that guy. He's on TV, I think.

And I like look over and I'm like, no, he's not. That's just a handsome Italian man. I'm like, he's not on TV. That's just a tan, full head of hair Italian man. He's like, are you sure? Let me get another luck. Oh, yeah, maybe you're right. Like, he literally thinks everyone we've seen as a celebrity.

Also, can we address the scarf visor that broke the internet? I knew that my scarf visor was going to be split down the middle. And here's the thing about being in Italy and posting content. I feel like I post more TikTok videos in Italy because I'm happier. Also, you did say you were going on a phone strike. And I kind of have because I feel when I post here, it's such a time change that I am so disconnected from like the comments or like. So like because I'm on like a different schedule. So right when I post it, no one's commenting it because no one's awake.

So I do feel very disconnected from the world. Wait, I feel so disconnected from the world here that I haven't even done my skincare routines. Night or morning. Oh, because skincare doesn't count in Italy? I don't know. I just have no desire. I'm like, I don't care, not doing it. I feel free.

It's because you're relaxed. I think that's what it is. Haven't done my hair. I barely put on makeup, but I've done like mascara and blush. Well, Paige, I don't want to diagnose you, but your skincare is also a coping mechanism of your anxiety somehow. Like, it's like when you're anxious, you're like, if I could just fix this pimple, everything will be better. It's like my mom with cleaning. Well, sometimes that's.

pimple is the problem. Okay. So I feel like you're putting all your problems into the pimple, but we'll discuss this. My life is going great unless I get a cystic pink ball. Well, a cystic that is truly a volcano with us under your face, so I do have empathy for you. Scarfeizer, this is also, my algorithm shows me if I, if you post when I go on TikTok, your video comes up first. So I get you early. I don't see comments. I leave my stamp of approval, and then I move on. So I don't actually know the response. of the visor. I just know that I was, I felt it in my core that it was a moment. I saw it online like a couple weeks ago and I was just like, that shouldn't cost $200,

but put it in my cart because I'm intrigued. I'm like, this is just a piece of sheer. But like I just thought the model looked so cool and I love an accessory. I love a bathing suit cover up. Also, you love a frill. You love a frill. I love it. I just love the something different. Let me just try it. You know? But I didn't realize that the model legitimately looked like you. Like everyone was like this picture that you posted of the model is Hannah. I don't know. I think people are like, you know when someone dies and people are like

putting them on a pedestal, that's how people are treating my old smile. They're like, Hannah was so beautiful. And she was, she just lit up a room. Like they're like talking. We're like remembering you. And they're like putting rose color glasses on who I was. They were Like she was just euphoric. They're rewriting history. They are. They're literally any man on Bravo. Let's just rewrite it.

Let's just change the past, I don't know, 10 years. Sorry, that was out of pocket. And I don't care because I'm thousands of miles away. Doesn't count you're in Italy. What absolutely stays in Italy. So my thing also with the visor, it kind of made you look like you had bangs, like in a good way?

I don't think I actually had it on correctly. I think I should have flipped it over, but I'm going to wear it again for sure. I actually think I might wear it this weekend because I don't think it fully got its moment. I didn't even get a pick on it. He frifted some Gucci, which is kind of like, I don't know,

I'm just like proud of you. Wait, Hannah, I didn't even tell you I went to my vintage store here and I got the sickest, vintage, like 90s, Valentino Turtle Neck dress. Not really. It's like a shirt that I'm going to make a dress. And it has these like big cutouts. And it's it's so cool. You'd be so proud of me. I'm so excited because I feel like you're

getting better and better at thrifting. It's like everyone has their own eye and skill and you're like really getting into it. You're in the weeds. Yeah. Well, you've really inspired me because I just think it's more consignment. I think like consignment is so cool. Because you're like what was her story what was her story that she had this like sick designer whatever and then she's like i don't need it anymore you know and i'm like what it you know i love it it's like she wore it enough yeah or she's dead oh you know i didn't think about she lives through it there are a lot of you know estate sales where like a really cool woman passes away and like she didn't have any daughters yeah that's so true and that was that was her lesson support for today's episode

comes from Square, the system powering, like half the places I go. We've built Giggly Squad into a full business at this point between podcasts, merch, touring, and everything, and there's a lot of moving parts. And if there's one thing we've learned, it's that you can be chaotic, but your business cannot be. Square helps business owners focus on the fun parts, creating things, building something, showing up, not chasing down where a payment went, or trying to figure out if something is in stock.

Have you ever walked into a place and you're like, oh, this business has their life? together like you tap your card it's instant they already have your info the receipt just appears everything is seamless and you're like wait why was this so smooth well that's square and once you notice it you see it everywhere coffee shops salons boutiques all the places that just feel on top of it which makes sense because square basically runs everything behind the scenes it's not just payment it's inventory online orders scheduling team management reports all in one place so instead of business owners juggling different apps and trying to make them all talk to each other, it's just handled. And it works whether you're starting out or your business is growing and getting a little chaotic. You can take payments

in person, online, or on the go. See what's actually selling, manage your team, even access your money faster with square banking. It makes everything feel way more under control. And now that we're actually building brands, I realize how important it is that everything just works. The back end matters so much more than people think, and we may not always be the most organized, but Square keeps everything else under control. You don't need an IT team or a degree in accounting. Also, businesses using Square online earn 36% more revenue on average, which makes sense. Some of my favorite places to shop that you square in the city are places like Van Lueen

ice cream on Columbus. I'm always getting ice cream, especially in the summer. Also, La Colom, easy, going in to get your coffee. Of course they have Square. So if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash giggly. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash Ghibli.

Run your business smarter with Square and get started today. Can we talk about Taylor Swift's sweating? Yes. Initial thoughts? It felt like the Met Gala. like I was in Toronto and I was just kind of looking and like it's interesting what celebrities got papped and which didn't because there were a thousand people there so it's funny that like Hugh Grant was the one that like we kept getting photos of and then like Gigi Hadid like I wonder if they were she was like okay let these couple celebrities posts and then no one else um I did get like a month or two ago that it was in MSG and no one believed me. And my only real thought was I love how they posted on the screen. Like someone just was like, get Canva.

Let's just pick a font. And I thought it was an AT&T ad. Which if it was genius, if it wasn't kind of annoyed because AT&T didn't deserve that kind of promo. But like seeing T&T. Yeah. If it was a T plus T, I feel like that might have been better. You know, you're so right. It was really giving AT&T.

And I was like, holy shit, AT&T. AT&T and Dior were the main sponsors of the event. I got it. At first I thought, like, oh, she's doing it at Madison Square Garden because, like, security and, like, privacy and blah, blah, blah. And then I quickly realized like that. She didn't really give a shit about that. Like, I think she liked doing it on Fourth of July weekend. like a holiday weekend.

I think that like goes with whatever album. Someone said if they break up, she's going to write Independence Day as like the divorce song. I also think that weddings have changed so much since COVID. And I truly believe. In elopements. No, I truly believe you should have whatever kind of wedding you want.

I mean, you should do whatever you want always. But specifically your wedding, I think you should truly do whatever the fuck you want. Like, elope, have a party, don't have a party, go to the courthouse, invite a thousand people, invite two people. Like, I don't care. It has no bearing on my life. Go to a pizza parlor. The only thing I have to say about Taylor's So Sweating is the thought of four avenues being shut down in the middle of New York City on a holiday weekend.

What are you talking? If you've ever been in New York City, we're just a side street. is shut down. The whole city is where we go. We don't know where to go. You're telling me they shut down 7th Avenue, 6th Avenue, 5th, like, you're telling me five streets were shut down on a holiday weekend. My first thought is, what if there was an emergency and an ambulance couldn't get through?

Like, this is why I hate parades specifically just for this reason, because if you see a parade in New York City and a street is shut down, you're fucked. Like, it will now take you 45 extra minutes to get to your. destination. But I think she was toking on July 4th, a lot of people being out in the Hamptons, but I don't think everyone in New York City is going to the Hamptons. It's not like, Hamptons is for elite assholes. In what world are the majority of New York City out in the Hamptons? They're not. That's like a facade on Instagram. The majority of people that live in New York City are there for the holiday weekend. So I, that was my only thing. I was like,

I'm shocked that this is, that this is, that this is, that this. city is even kind of letting this happen because I felt like it was kind of dangerous. You can't shut down five avenues. I have a lot of mixed emotions. I feel like it's kind of annoying that she had to donate $30 million to charities to try to avoid some hate on her wedding weekend. Well, I did hear it was $50 million. $50 million. I feel like a man getting married, like a famous man doing something crazy.

Like he would never have to do that. But she literally was like, can you guys? please let me just have a weekend. I'm putting $50 million of charity. Like, please don't. And look, I'm not mad at her for wanting attention. I love attention. I was on reality TV for seven years.

I think attention is amazing. But, like, she wanted the attention for her wedding weekend. And that's totally, I don't, I'm not mad at that. Like, but I think people being like, oh, so she didn't care about privacy. Well, obviously not. That's any, she didn't care. Yeah, she wanted people to know she was getting married. Which, yeah, let the.

people know. I do think also logistically her team is so good at building sets. So like a parent, like it was literally the same people from the Erez tour, I think, that like came in, built this fucking set in a quick amount of time. It's like what they know. And it is just so funny when you have more money than you can imagine. It's almost like you have too many options of what to do. But I feel like her and her and Travis love socializing. They love partying. They love. They love I think he loves being famous and I think she loves showing him like and look how famous you are now. I think that like I was going to say and I don't I love is love but I mean you would understand more than anyone how sometimes with fame you can fall in love with the spotlight on you rather than the person. Okay in my fragile state of shitting from my asshole.

You can fall in love with the idea of people, the idea of your relationship through the public eye versus your relationship. And that's why I think so many extremely famous people don't survive their relationships because you can't actually see like true intimacy when you have so many lenses on you. I don't know. That was a lot of that was really wordy. I think that's why a lot of people got divorced or married during COVID because you were so forced to be with that person. And it was just you two. you couldn't socialize with anyone else. And I think that is really important.

Like a perfect example is Zendaya and Tom Holland. Like we still don't even know when or where. Yeah. Are they together? Did they even live in the same house? We don't know. And I just think that I also, because I have been in like a public relationship before, I do think when you are in something and you can relate to this.

But this one's a compliment. When you truly, and it doesn't even matter, it doesn't even mean the relationship. It could be the relationship with your mom, your dad, your brother. Hurt people, hurt people. That's what we're learning today. Hurt people. When you truly love something so much and you care about it, you want to protect it from even like the person on the street. Like you're like, you can say whatever you want about me, but if you say one fucking thing about my mom.

Like, so I think if you really like cherish. there are certain things that you're like, I would never want anyone to know this. Like I would never want someone privy to this because this is just for us. And so I do think that there could be a lot of criticism of Taylor and Travis's wedding, but also like if it works for them, mausel tov.

After dealing with reality TV where I put someone I love in a position, that's why I've had to scale back because I feel like I made a mistake and I shouldn't have done that to him. It's funny. I had someone asked me the other day if I would, like when I get married and have kids, like would I do a reality show? And I, it was like a random person.

And I was like, oh my God, that's such an interesting question. I've never really thought about that before. But my gut feeling was the thought of someone criticizing my child. Like, no. Well, the whole thing with reality, TV is I always say people are like, why did you do it? And I'm like, I was 26 and single. Yeah. And I did it until my family started to get hate messages. Dude, I did it as revenge. I didn't even think it was real. I literally my boyfriend pissed me off. And I was like,

watch this. I'm going on a show. And then I walked in and I was like, wait, I forgot I was actually doing it. Are women in STEM of the week? I'm on a really weird algorithm. It's iconic. It's, there are these minion contests have you seen these minion singing contests i haven't hannah so with these just like normal hot girls that go up to a mic and then sing songs in the minion voice and language i've never seen the mini movie but i guess they have their own language like elfish type thing so these like gorgeous girls are like singing like in a minion voice and it's getting like really competitive and like the winners are kind of blowing up so shout out to all the girls who are um really good at being minions.

Wait, I don't get it. I don't get it. Where are they doing it? In a theater somewhere. Maybe it's Canadian. I don't know. I'm so confused. You want to know what?

That's actually what pissed me off this week. Because what are you talking about? Just a bunch of grown people Virginia to be minions in a theater. No, thank you. I don't want to. But you know what? Nothing makes me happier than a hot girl doing something.

weird. Totally. Suddenly I respect her. Suddenly I'm like, oh, you've been through some dark shit if you found yourself at this point. I'm caught up on Love Island, USA, and I'm done watching it. I actually don't care who wins. This season was one of the weirdest seasons of Love Island I've ever watched in my

entire life. There's three men on the show that are so, like, annoying. Two of them, okay, they, like, kind of owned up to, like, their shit. whatever. The one guy, I mean, he's a pathological liar. It's not even like, sorry, I shouldn't have done that. He's like blatantly a pathological liar. He can't stop lying. He's like literally getting no hate. And the girl who had been dumped and like fucked over and was like exploring other men is getting more hate. And if I hear someone call them lustful one more time, I'm going to scream. Like what in the Old Testament are you fucking saying? Stop you, Gen Z, stop using the word

lustful. You sound like freaks. You sound like actual weirdos. You're on a dating show. It sounds like Adam and Eve. Yeah. Like, okay, you sound so manosphere. It's actually really terrifying. And like, girls can kiss multiple men and not be a whore. You absolute weirdos. Like, and all the girls want this one girl, Melanie, to go. back with this guy who's lied since the day he's gotten in there and then looked at the other girl who was being lustful and was like, it's really bad for you. I don't know what's going on with love at, but I don't, I actually don't care who wins. Do you care about UK? So now I'm getting back into UK and I'm starting to care more about them because, well, here's the other thing. UK is like

double the time and they get to know each other more and there's more conversation and they, I'm sorry, they have more banter. We as America. We sound dumb. We sound stupid. Now, I'm not saying the UK Love Island cast is a bunch of goddamn geniuses. No. But they just feel more mature. Yet they just feel like they're more...

Honestly, the Love Island USA cast feels like you're in a TikTok. I feel like I'm in the app of TikTok. Where, like, UK, it feels like real young kids, like trying to meet. each other and like fuck around well my husband has been getting oh yeah he texted me about it yeah love island UK clips but now he's like fully immersed in it and it's like the i'm not watching it so i'm like text page she's watching it but we watched it when they were like fact to 50 so i keep going up to him be like are they saying like fact to 50 and he's like no that's so five years ago no one says that anymore and i was like oh shit there have been dumb people on love island like one girl didn't know the difference between

a continent, a country, a county, like she was... You do not have to be smart to get on Love Island. You have to be some version of hot. And look, a lot of people will say it's not that serious. It's not that big of a deal. It kind of is because they just pulled a group of the same age people and this is their dating habits. The men lie and the girls think each other are whores and should put up with way more

than they should put up with. I can't, you guys, I want to be part of this dialogue and I want to be making fun of it and stuff. But like, I just, I'm just, like, not lustful. I'm like,

what in the serpent queen are you fucking talking about? Like, lustful? I've never said that word in my 33 years on this planet. They're like, lust is like the worst thing you can be in a relationship. It's like,

actually, maybe a ding-bag. is the worst thing you can be like shut up bring back dig bit dingbat bring back dingbat um a little update speaking of shows i'm shooting my show right now how's it going um it's going really i'm like really excited for this show i'm i can't like give details however i am being a menace to the glam team well the makeup artist she's fully trying to like joker me and make it look like i'm like lifted and like not looking sad in every thing and then so this one guy's the hair guy rye he's like let's do a ponytail which i said you know what let's do it but when they do a like slick back ponytail they put so

many bobby pins now you more than anyone would understand you know when a bobby pin just like hits wrong and you're like that's in my brain yeah and like when you're shooting a show like first 30 minutes I was fine. And now we're in. I was like, something's going on back there. I was just like waiting in between takes and I'm like, fuck it. I'm trying to move this bobby pin.

I pull out a bobby pin because I'm like, Yolo. Whole ponytail comes on done. It was like the important bobby pin. I know it was 18. The bobby pin. It was the main character Bobbypin. It was Mr. Bobby pin.

Pin. That's Mr. Penn to you. Yeah. So I go, oh, because I thought I could take it out and no one would know. Right, because sometimes you can. You're like, oh, this one is like. This was not even needed. And it was just like, I literally still feel it.

So the guy comes out, right? It's like rolling his eyes. He's like, oh my God, has to redo my whole pony. Stop production. My whole face falls. Everyone's like, okay. So I know it's like reality TV again because I have my mic on me. And they'll like put me in a room and be like, okay.

like in 10 minutes we'll have you come out of the room to like it's a hot mic situation fully farted wait when are you done i think next week but like i'm so excited for the gigglers to watch the show like we're killing it with the looks and i'm wearing glasses every day to like make me a different person yeah okay i think that's i love i the picture you posted on your story the other day i love when you where your hair pulled back like that. Yeah, I knew you'd be into it. Oh, also I have to issue an apology. Sorry, just going through some notes.

Okay. I did this thing of, like, things that I hate. And I said man named Braden. And then I got only, like, three messages, but it was enough backlash from the gigglers. I feel like I should address it. Of gigglers being like, Hannah, I love you so much. But, like, my sweet, sweet son's name is Brayden.

and this like really hurt really hurt my feelings so i just want to say when i say i don't like guys named braden i don't mean the gigglers sons named brayden we don't mean anyone under 30 25 sorry i want to say sorry to all the giggler braidens you guys are perfect because they're being raised by us but um anyone already millennial braids they have no shot sometimes i use this podcast as like my personal forum sometimes i really need an orthopedian surgeon to get in my DMs. Because,

Hannah, do you know what a ganglion cyst is? I feel like my dad had that once. Okay, look at my rest. Wait, that's what like, oh.

Like old women have. My grandma used to have one. I have the, look at that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Look at that.

Oh. Dude, it hurts. So bad. That's why, like, I used to have to wear my wrist thing all the time because I think it was that. You would get a gangly cyst on your hand. That's because your hand is too long. I was like, Mom, what do I do about it?

And she was like, oh, your grandma used to have that. They go away on their own or you can get it surgically removed. And I'm like, but I don't want to get it surgically removed. But I need it gone because it's actually really starting to hurt me. And then I have like an indent right here. Yeah. Well, the good news is you're not walking around like this. that my dad said oh just to go like this yeah fix it just don't walk around like a little rabbit this is why

I have to have a baby I'm so sick of my own shit who gets that yeah yeah well if it makes you feel better I got a mole on my back like I've never had a mole in my life but it's a mole in my back and does was like you should get that check this cancer and I'm like no my grandpa what got these like this is just who I am now so but I'll get it checked I think you should get that check no no no no no no no No, no. Also, I know we're getting older. I know I'm getting older because I love, this is my favorite thing to say now, I love going, oh, the humidity broke.

What? I feel like that's such an adult thing to say. Like, you know, after it rains, I go, yep, the humidity broke. That's not even an adult thing. That's like a very niche type of dad who's over 55, way above 55. No, well, Des loves the weather. mom loves the weather it's someone that like worked with their hands you know like they did something saying the humidity broke is my new like it's really nice outside yeah the humidity definitely broke

and then I heard myself say I'm like who are you and like they're not saying that on love island for sure the humidity broke yeah no but it definitely is really fucking hot there and I don't know how they're like their makeup is staying because they never look like they're sweaty and their hair always looks put together, and I don't know how they're doing it. I'd also like to know what time they're going to bed and what time they're waking up, but that's my own thing.

Are they allowed to drink on Love Island? Two drink minimum. And the Brits ruin that for them, I'm pretty sure. But also to drink, it doesn't say how many shots that is. Like you could do just like two huge vodka cups. No, I don't think they give them hard liquor. I want to say it's wine or beer. OG UK they would like chain smoke sags and drink and then I want to say like season early in UK it turned into a two drink minimum and I think USA just adopted that because if they were drunk it'd be a very different show the word lustful would go right out the window I'll tell you that okay maybe we should let next season let them get a little liquored up and show their true feelings um does made me watch the World's Cup last night

I wrote down World Cup water, but I don't remember what I was. Water, water, water. Oh, they're doing water breaks. That's like a drama. There's like a water break thing happening. They're called hydration breaks that I think is for like advertising. I don't know what it was. Well, anyway, I did watch. Oh, I know what it was. Wait a minute. I've lived my whole life not knowing that when athletes are playing in a game of any sort, they're never drinking water. they're putting it in their mouth and they're spitting it out? No, they drink water. Oh.

Because everything in like the World Cup was like showing them like swishing it in their mouth and then spinning it out. And I was like, oh, why are they doing that? And then the comments were like no one's running with a full stomach of water. But also like how are they not dehydrated, dehydrated and passing out? I do think it's a combination. I actually don't know about like soccer players. Maybe that is a thing that they're not like chugging water on the side. But like they have to stay hydrated to an extent.

Like sometimes with tennis they'll have like electrolyte gels and stuff, but they're drinking water. Electrolate gel. See, this is a whole world. I was never privy to. You're never privy to. That's why, yeah, you do all. But you know what you'd love? If you start cramping, they give you a Diet Coke.

No, that's just sheep. Because you need sodium. No way. I didn't know that. What about Gatorade? It's like they need even more. They need even more. Like they'll have you eat like McDonald's after just to get like.

like salt. Okay, now I'm actually calling the police. Why didn't anyone put me in sports? Are you kidding? I would have crushed a soccer game. Oh, I'm just going to, sorry, I don't feel good. Let me get a Diet Coke and McDonald's. Well, that's why everyone's like, you must have been so, like, fit during tennis and I'm like, the amount of calories I was eating was diabolical. I was doing pizza eating contest after practice. I was like, who thinks they could eat a pizza faster than me? You know what? I always loved in high school that when the track team would have a pizza party. I'm like, God, guys, you really knew the right team to join. You used to have pasta parties.

Oh, hell yeah. Car blowed that shit. You know we never talked about? What? The Empire State couple. You know, Taylor Swift was like, guys, not this weekend. This weekend, you're not fucking climbing to the top. They were, like, Instagram models.

Like, they were, like, really hot and cool. And they, like, proposed to each other. But no one talked, are they arrested now? what's the vibe like i think they got arrested it gets a felony yeah you know what hot people get bored they have like no issues in their life they're like what if we just and let's talk about that because if they were butt ugly people would be pissed no it's so true the fact they were hot everyone was like iconic it was such a pretty privilege example they were ugly they'd never be allowed in new york city again but instead we were like take a photo put it in every pizzeria like these people are icons

that would have crushed on Tumblr. Oh yeah. But you know what? I don't love it like even becoming a trend. Like it's just it's not. I do wonder what security's up to on Empire State Building. Where were they? Well, surely they snuck into the building.

They were just like bandits. Like the first time we walked in I would have been like, that looks like a bank robber. And then what? They slept there the night before and then like snuck out onto the top. Like I don't even get the logistics of it. And also like, yeah, that's really scary. If this hot little brunette with a bob can get past the security, I'm worried. Yeah, I am worried.

Taking a selfie up there, I would have dropped my phone. No, I would have been so clumsy. Also, I would have been shake. No. Well, you and I are similar. We have no adrenaline rush seeking vibes whatsoever. You're so right. Also, I feel like I got married like generations ago.

Yeah. You've been married for 20 years. My wedding was not in this millennia. Like, I would have done so differently. It is so funny how like five years can change. Wait, really? What would you have done different? I mean, it was perfect, but like I feel like my fashion's so different now. Like I would have done like something crazy.

I would have, I don't know. I literally went to a strip mall and was like, that looks good on my body. No, Hannah. You picked the first dress you tried on. I picked the first. Which, which iconic. Which some people say when you know you know. you know you know um and i would have eloped i could have seen you doing the courthouse and then

having a dinner after yeah i that's what i would have done but i also know what taylor swift felt where she was like let's celebrate and make it a moment like i mean i had rquel at my wedding like i have the crazy shit happened at my wedding so oh oh the one last thing i want to say about taylor is She was on that interview show where she was like, I don't like people being on the cusp, which is true. There's like you're really close friends. Then you have a lot of people that you're like a ton of people that are on the cusp and you don't know what to do.

So she's like, so I'm just going to invite a shit ton. But then it actually hurts more to not get invited because you're like, oh, I wasn't even in your top 1,000. Well, when I saw the Blake lively wasn't there, I was like, wait, this is actually, I feel like even more of a fuck you. it's like Fergie's there. So it's like Adam Sandler. I really honestly, I hope that like,

like Adam Sandler officiated. I don't. I feel like it was just like it's the most random event ever. It felt like the Oscars. I think my mindset would be the exact opposite. Like, oh, I don't want to have to evaluate my relationships with these people. It's like my wedding's so small. It would be weird if you got invited.

Like not, oh, my wedding's so big. Like everyone come. I'd be like, it's 50 people. I don't know you like that. I almost feel like her inviting, not inviting Blake lively, she knew would be such a story that like she hates her that much that she's like, I'm fine with that being the press on my wedding weekend. Well, she could have invited her and Blake said no, but I don't see Blake saying no.

No. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, look, I think she wanted people to talk about her marrying Travis. And that's exactly what everyone's doing. So I don't, and I don't think that's a bad thing. Zendaya didn't want anyone talking about her wedding. And that's exactly what happened. Nobody talked about it.

So I think you do what you want. There was a really good TikTok someone made about who's like a big Swifty. And she was like, just want to reiterate you guys that like this isn't the end of the story. Like getting married is not your win in life. It's not like she went through all the up and downs for this moment. And now everything is rainbows of butterflies. marriage is a huge decision in your life that could ruin your life. No, it could kill you.

It could literally kill you. But also, like, this is just one part of, like, all the beautiful things that she hopes to do in her life. And this is not the win as a woman. It's not, oh, I got a man to, like, do paperwork to be in the relationship. One of the girls on Love Island actually had a great point. She was, like, getting picked isn't the prize. it's how he treats you, which,

Honey, if I had a goddamn nickel. Girl. I actually get more of a high off of the guys who I didn't let pick me. Because I'm like, first of all, they, I feel like put me on a pedestal in their head because they never know what it was actually like to date me. Like they never got me. So it's like that like drug you want. It's like a situation ship.

You're like, well, you made it all up in your head because you never actually experienced it. Yeah, like they had like one good blowjob by me and that's all they're left with. So like that's that's iconic to me. Like. Can I ever tell you about the time I had sex with someone and he had a heart attack? Have I never told that story? You've never. No, I feel like I definitely have to have.

You've never told me. I know the time you fainted. Like to the point where it was like page defibrillator in the closet, grab it. Why does he have a defibrillator in his closet? Because he had a heart problem. And like not this is like not. This is not... Did he tell you beforehand, like, this could happen?

Yeah. But wait, low key where you were like, if he doesn't have a heart attack, well, I'm fucking him, like, that means I wasn't, like, I didn't blow his brains out. Once the dust had settled and, like, he was okay and we were, like, recovering from it, I obviously said, yeah, my pussy is. Fire! Like, literally, you almost died. You goodness.

No, I mean, this is so long. ago. So like were you scared that like he might die? Yes Hannah I was terrified. Did you know how to use a defibrillator? No. It wasn't like I feel like people are thinking like oh my god page had sex with like an 85 year old man like no this is like a normal age person who had like a heart problem. And literally we slept together one time it was one time we slept together legitimately once. First question were you guys drunk? Um no. No, no. He, like, I don't think he, he, like, didn't do drugs. He didn't drink. Like, this was, like, a normal. I, like, oh, my God, this is so long. I was, like, 20. So second question. At what point was he, like, did you immediately know he was having a heart attack or did it, like, take some time?

I think we were, like, maybe, like, three minutes into it, maybe two, two 30 into it. But two minutes in sex world is, like, 20 minutes. Yeah, you're right. Actually, let's say we're, we'd say we're 45 seconds in. maybe a minute maybe a minute we're in it's like running on a treadmill i'd have to call one of my girlfriends because i literally can't remember and no no wait sex time is true like 10 minutes of sex feels like 10 minutes of running on the treadmill like you're like i ran a marathon i'm exhausted i'm raw i'm bleeding i think he had like a thing inside of his body that could get like thrown off and got like a device and so yeah if it got thrown off he could fix it himself and it did it

like got thrown off and i had to grab something and he like did something and then he was fine did you put on clothes or were you running around naked trying to get a different related like did you put your cute off of it back on before you saved his life this is very sad when i was younger i was so insecure about having like small boobs so i never like took my bra off or took like my top off really so i think I probably had a top on. Okay. And his roommate was there. That's so funny.

I'm pretty sure. I literally have to call one of my girlfriends and ask her because she'll remember. I was always the opposite. Like taking off my underwear was like that was the final boss. But like top off I was that's like good morning. No. But I also, I just don't like wearing a bra. Also I wouldn't wear a bra.

I never wear a bra. Yeah, I never wear a bra. So it's like, go ahead. That was very lusful of us. Very lustful. Wait, I'm not done with my question. So then when you were defribing him, did you, was it easy?

Or were there like a lot of steps? No, no, no. He, I just had to hand him something and then he knew exactly what to do. It wasn't like he passed out and like was about to die. It was like something was happening and he was like, holy shit. You got to go get that. Like get off. after he did it did you guys finish or were you like maybe we maybe we just call the night no um

no were you like well i need to finish because like i was like i want to go home i wanted to go i was like it was traumatizing no he was older than me and it was like i didn't really no we weren't like ever like we were never like together we never like one went out on dates. Like it was like a random hookup one time. And I was just like, yeah, this is like not for me. In my special, I have a bit about how the true walk of shame is when you have to walk into his bedroom with all the roommates who are like playing FIFA on the couch.

Like, why are there always like 20 men at guys' apartments? Like, oh my God. That's such a feeling that I like forgot. That's such a college. I haven't felt that in so long. When you literally have to be like, I'm going to go get dick down. Hold on one sec, guys. Oh.

And you're like, pray for me. You're like, help. It's also just like men are so misogynistic that like you feel, they make you feel slutty for even walking in. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I just feel like there are situations that you get in as like growing up in a woman and you're in college where there's so many times where you're just like, I know they're saying some really crazy misogynistic shit. Also, as a woman, did you know that, like, men, most men think if you go back to their place,

that means, like, you want to have sex? Yeah. I can see that. What if you just want to, like... Well, I think it's more... I think it's... Look, if I'm going home after the date, I don't fuck with you. I didn't fuck with you on the date.

I don't want to spend any more time with you. If I'm going home with you after the date, it's not necessarily that I want to sleep with you. I just want to continue hanging out. Exactly. We're guys will take it as, like, she for sure wants. to have sex. No, it's like an after dinner drink or like... Yeah, you want to keep talking, you want to

possibly let him touch your move. But this is also when I was younger. Yeah, this is like, I wouldn't do that now. Like when I was like even in college, I was like, okay, OTPHJ you get... But I was also scared.

Terrified. No, I'm still scared. I'm still scared. After reading the book, Strangers, anything could happen. I think about it all the time. I'm like, you don't know any of these men. We don't know any of them.

I also learned a new term, which I don't know if you connect with because you're like better at it than me, but I definitely connect with it. It's called post-gossip clarity. I just saw that on TikTok. I literally reposted it. I've never felt something deeper in my life. The amount of times where I've spilled my fucking guts and have been like, why the hell did I tell her that?

So for people don't know. no it's like guys say they have post nut clarity where after they come they like suddenly see everything clearly and regret everything where like post gossip clarity i didn't realize how much in my life i would gossip to connect with people it's also because like you see it as like a vulnerable thing and that's how you connect with people like yeah and being vulnerable here's the thing there's layers i don't feel like that with you like i hear your a juicy story the first thing i'm like is Hannah's gonna die when I tell her this. If anything, I get mad when I don't give you enough gossip.

I'm like, I didn't do well enough today. Someone like outside my circle, I'm very, like, maybe I'll give you like a little morsel, but what are you giving me back? And like I, I feel like that's something you learn like late 20s, early 30s. Like actually, I'm not telling you anything. But that was like my mid 20s, I feel like, because you don't even know who side anyone is on. But I would say one thing I learned as someone who's heard people talk bad about herself, which is not a uncommon thing, is a lot of the time it literally isn't personal. Like you think someone's like, oh, fuck, that person thinks that about me.

And it's like, no, they were just trying to be cool with that other person. Yeah. And once you realize that, you actually get a lot of confidence in life and be like, oh, they actually like, or they actually like respect you. and that's why they're trying to bring you down because they both put you on a pedestal and that's why they're trying to pull down. Or they're psychotic and they literally want to be you and skin you and wear you like last year's Versace

which really happens to me a lot. And that's why we thrift. Just do some consignment shopping and figure it out. So overall, how's your vacay going besides the anal fissures? It's amazing. I've done so much good shopping and I just feel so like, I feel so disconnected that it's like so nice.

Like I forgot what it was like living in the real world and not on the internet. Like the more you immerse yourself in the real world, the more you realize the things you read on the internet are insane, written by insane people. Well, when you travel, you just realize like, oh, the world is so much bigger. Where when you're online, it feels so small. And it's also, I'm also like, oh, wow, these are the only people plus Hannah that I actually give a shit about in the world, the people I'm with right now.

Like I haven't looked at my phone because I'm like, the only person that's texting me is Hannah and she's working. And she's going through something right now. Wait, I'm so happy that you're in this mindset. I also can, you're tan and. I might skip dinner tonight and just do room service. My dad is going to like really kill me. but like I think I need to give my stomach a little bit of a break.

You need to look out for yourself in these moments. Also let the family try to talk about something else. Other than me. Yeah, give them a moment. It's like when I wouldn't go to school one day, I'm like, what are people talking about if I'm not there? I can't perform in the pool. I can't perform at lunch. I can't then go to dinner and do a one-moment show.

RIF, RIF, RIP, call back, RIF. My brother, though, he's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. No, let him, let him, let him. My dad's like, why are we making another TikTok? I have to figure out the TikTok situation for my dad. Like, you know, it's a lot.

It's a lot of strategizing. I also haven't been taking a lot of pictures because I'm just like, I don't care. Dude, does and I never take photos. I'm like, there's no evidence that we've ever been together. We're alive. And I want to a quick shout out. There's so many gigglers in Toronto, because Toronto's like really cool. And a full of just like hot girls being girls girls girls.

Every girl comes up to me and goes, sorry about your smile. So like immediately I don't feel rude. Yeah. They're like, hi. And I'm like at dinner and I'm like, hi. So I want to say if you're a giggler and you see me, tell me you know about the smile thing. Because it helps me like with the social interaction. And then I'm like at ease because I don't want to have to like tell you what I'm dealing with.

Because like you don't want that. You don't have to explain it yourself. Yeah. On your stank face. And I'm giving smiley selfies with just a little kissy face and it's like it's working. It's chic. It's chic. We're going to look back on this time and be like, ha ha, he he funny.

You know, that's not this time right now, but we will get there. We're going to get there together. This is that I'm snarling. It's a snarl. Okay, guys. What are those dogs? What are those dogs? Wait.

there was a dog sitting next to us at dinner and Des goes that's your smile and the dog was like like a bejean like my like one of my boyfriend's families had this dog like um a lopsa opsa i think it was called like a and it had like it looked like a bison no it like looked like a bijan no it like looked like a bijad but it was like had an underbite no it was like i look like a little dog that you could that's biting people's ankles That's what I look like. Okay. And that's all we have for today.

Well, no, it hasn't gotten better, but we love you guys so much. And we'll talk to you later in the week. Bye.