Giggly Squad - Giggling about poo poo heads, squirting, and anti-self help

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

WARNING mom please don't listen to this ep Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up my glacial gigglers? You're so freaking cool. Um, okay, okay. Yeah, that wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. I liked it. Why do I feel like we haven't recorded in years? No, I feel like we haven't done giggly squad in so long. Would we do last week? We were like blackout on tour. Where'd we record? San Diego? No. Wait, I literally don't remember the last episode of giggly squad. We were not there mentally or physically. I think I should go see a doctor. I feel like I know I'm not kidding. I actually feel like I have PTSD.

All of those things plus like early onset dementia. What's your name again? What is my name again? The other day, no, this is actually really crazy. I legitimately forgot my address. Were you under a pressure situation? No. I was on my shopping. Were you under a pressure situation? No. I was on my shopping.

I was like, yo, what the fuck is my zip code? And I had to Google my address. I was having like a real, no, I don't know what was going on. Maybe you're like blocking so many things out that sometimes your brain's accidentally blocking out the important things. See, I'll crack under pressure. If I'm getting ID'd and someone's like,

what's your address? I'm like, I don't know. Wait, what do you have if you don't have a driver's license? You just have like an identification. A passport. Oh, yeah. But I have an identification card. Oh, thanks for bringing that up.

I was just wondering, like, thanks for bringing that up. That's like the one thing my dad still isn't proud of me about. He's like, did you get driver's license yet? You're going to grow up and I'm like, no. You don't really need one though. You're a true New Yorker.

Look, it's bad for my brand to get driver license. Also, I'm gonna be honest. I don't care when you get it, if you ever get it. I'll never get in the car with you driving anyway. So it doesn't really even matter. That's what I said. Like if there's a car and someone has to drive, my first thought certainly is not you.

Like, I could literally have no legs and I'd be like, I'll drive. Hey, I'll use a pole. Like it is because my ADHD. No, you've never, you don't drive. Yeah, like you think if you don't start when you're young, it's kind of like never gonna. It's like skiing. Like you'll never be when you're young, it's kind of like never going to.

It's like skiing. Huh. Like you'll never be able to go on the L.I.E. You might be able to drive like down side streets. We're never going on a black diamond. We enjoy agreeing. And this is the ski box. Yes, just the case you guys forgot.

I don't care if it got sunny out. Also, I walked in and paged that she loved my hair, which she never complimentslements my hair. And it's so funny, because I woke up, and my hair, because I showered last night, and my hair was just like weirdly curly. Yeah, and it looked so curly. And it looked so little too long,

and I was like, which is perfect. You're giving it, I'm gonna give you this. So I'm gonna give you the biggest compliment ever. So you're Crawford? I'm, you're giving him a Chamberlain, like vibes. Who's a Chamberlain like vibes. Who's Emma Chamberlain again? Okay Hannah. Oh yeah. You're giving Emma Chamberlain vibes. Oh the energy. Yeah. She's short hair. She is short hair but like energy wise like I

just feel like that could be like a mu-mu top that we don't know about. It's actually vintage. It has a hole in it. It's a dome. It's a hole in it. So I got like the scamp. But I have to tell you this too. In my like recent like not having memories. I had a revelation when I was home on why I don't like blondes. Blond women or blonde men.

Both of them. OK, because I have one girlfriend who, honestly, gorgeous, brunette, gorgeous blonde. Don't know what she is naturally. I want to say she's like a little bit more of like a lighter brown, but like when she dies her hair brown, she's stunning, but when she dies her hair blonde, also stunning. Yeah. So, I had commented on her Instagram, annoying you.

I had commented on her Instagram like, oh my god, I love in your brunette, but like, I also love a new your blonde. She was like coming from the blonde tater herself. And I was like, oh my god, I am such a blonde tater. But I realized the childhood trauma in which I dislike blondes. What happened? When I was younger, my dad owned a car wash.

I thought a hair bleaching company. When I was younger, my dad owned a car wash. I thought a hair bleaching company. Owned a car wash, and I can remember pulling into the car wash with my mom. I'm sitting in the back seat, my mom's driving. There's a car in front of us. There's a mom driving that car and a little girl sitting in that back seat with blonde hair. I saw my dad take a handful of gum,

like those little bubble, like they would get it like a baseball park. Yes. Open the back door and give them to the little girl. And I was shook to my core. I literally said to my mom, who is that? Who is that girl?

And she, my mom was like, oh, I don't know. I said, oh, I did. No, I said, oh, I didn't know. I was so frustrated at this tender age of like four that I didn't know words. Because I know that I wanted to call her a name. Because I was so fucking pissed. And that was the first time you realized

your psycho ex girlfriend. I named her a bumberhead. What's a bumberhead? I don't know. I made it up. What a bumberhead. And so I put a poopy head from then on. My parents were referred to blonde girls as bumberheads. And I forgot that I had that core memory. Also, the thing is a lot of blondes are brunettes who just died

their hair. Like bottle blondes. How do you do that bottle blondes? Love them. I love them. It's a natural born blonde with blonde eyebrows. I don't trust them. Okay. Okay, so 50% of our audience is just unsubscribed. Thank you. Good morning. I'm sure you're lovely, but I let you around my boyfriend.

No fucking way. See, I feel like if I was gonna have a threesome, I'd want a blonde. Same. Yeah. I think I want some bitch looking just like me. Wait, can I get like dirty right now? For the male producer, just hold on.

For the mom's listening, pause for my nan and pop listening. Do not watch this part. I was thinking about porn. Yeah. Because again, I'm working on this like what porn do I choose to watch with my psyched and fake another? Okay. And I realize it's hard because I think men are trash. Yes.

And like, I told you men, you can tell, they just want to see the like, yeah, they want to see the act. They want to see the fire. I want to see the story. Yeah. I want to, and I'm very in tune like, is she comfortable? Right. Is he annoying her?

Yeah. Like, why? Does she actually really like that? Does she like that? Yeah exactly and that's why I kind of like squirting videos Not that they took like the interesting turn not that they can like like I know they can fake it cuz like Can they though? But part of me is like I like a squirting video cuz I'm like at least something really happened Okay, where she might have enjoyed something right and then I like, why am I so obsessed with a girl feeling good? Yeah.

But then I realized, guys come when they see the other guy come. Yeah, because they feel like it's them. I guess. Yeah. So it's like we're more the same than different. But I'm not attracted to men in porn. Me neither. They're budgly sometimes.

And then when they talk? Yeah, I'm like, stop moving your mouth. I get, I think it's just going to be probably our weirdest text exchange that we'll ever have. But I feel like I know what you would like. I'm going to start sending you things like, hey, give this a try. Wait, that would actually be so helpful. So last night I was trying to do it. You're really friends if you don't send each other porn, they think that I would be on YouTube? I already sent you dudes. This is way less than me sending you a nude.

Or me accidentally sexting you. And getting in trouble with HR, because our assistant was on it also, and she's still in therapy for that. So I was with my husband, and he was like, yes, there's something. And I'm like immediately panic panic and I just search sex What you just went into Google I was on I was on porn hub and I search sex

That is here's the one thing I never pick it I never pick the video when I'm with Craig because that's too much pressure See that was happening to me. I had to pick it and then I realized like I want a girl who like looks like me. It's a catch 22. It's a very catch 22. Because the girl needs to be hot enough that I'm into it. Yeah. But then not so hot that he's too into it.

I will say I think watching porn with your significant other is a higher level of intimacy. Oh, so I want to bring up just one Vanderpump moment. Yes. with your significant other is a higher level of intimacy. I was like, I want to bring up just one Vanderpump moment. Yes. When James said poo poo head. Yeah. I feel like we work on, especially reality TV, like you want those clever, funny, one-line artists.

He's not a clever head. If he was American and someone said poo poo head, you're like, okay. But because he said poo poo head, it was like hilarious. He's a love head. People love him. If I said poooo head, you're like, okay. But because he said poopoo head, it was like hilarious. People love it. People love it. If I said poopoo head. I was like, mm, my friend writes jokes for hours and hours

to get even an ounce of recognition. And this straight white man said poopoo head. And we're all like, he is a voice of our generation comedic life. If you have a British accent everything sounds like witty will Farrell was shaking It was like I'm done my career is over. I can't wait Girl I cannot wait in 30 years when someone says we're doing a documentary on reality TV You got anything sign me the fuck up.

Literally, it doesn't write a strike right now. So it's like what people have. But I do think there is going to be, like people are going to look back at how certain people were treated and be like, that was bad. Yeah. That was really bad.

Because even now, I feel like on TikTok, I get a lot of like old reality TV clips. And I'm like, that's horrible. like how were people on this girl's side? Well, all the bad things at least people were like you got famous, but nowadays everyone could get famous from TikTok So it's like why have your character Assessinated on a TV show right when you could just like post dance videos I think psychologists came up with it because they wanted more therapy work. My therapist is thrilled that I'm on reality TV. She's been retained for the next 20 years.

She's on a retainer. Literally. An emergency retainer. I'm like Maria. I gotta say a other. I've been very anti-self-help. In what what do you mean? It's my new thing. I feel like the self-help. In what, what do you mean? It's my new thing. I feel like the self-help world is very like pyramid schemey. With you're always telling especially women, like you have to get better, you have to change. Like your current state is not good enough. It's not healthy.

Like when you see your friend and she's like, well, I'm on this diet and I'm starting this workout and I'm doing this thing and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, it's too much. It's more working on like being content where you are. Like I think that's the work. Yeah, it's content. Because I could always find something wrong with me.

I need to work on. I could listen to nalve medical word. I don't know. Literally what's wrong with me. You're on your shit today. Thank you so much. No, I actually totally agree. I think one of like the biggest things I've learned in therapy

in terms of self-help is you're supposed to feel every single feeling. There are days where you are supposed to be depressed. There are days where you're supposed to be sad. Yeah, it's literally just being a human. And I think sometimes self-help people on Instagram and TikTok are like, just do this and just do that.

And it's like, okay, but there are days that you should feel these feelings and like sit in them. So the biggest feeling that I hate the most is being frustrated. Like when you can't prove your point or you can't tell the truth, or people are seeing things in a different way. Like that feeling of,

like you wanna just fucking break something. I think my biggest achievement in therapy is like being like, okay, I'm frustrated. And to just feel it. And like, I'm frustrated, I'm not gonna feel frustrated for a while. And your feelings are valid. Yeah, this is a normal thing to be feeling frustrated about chalk it up to, she's a fucking cunt and move on. Yeah, you know, like why you just dropped the seaworthy

Yeah, if James can say poopoo head I can say con No, you don't steal our jargon and we won't steal yours I saw you did a video with that caption. One thing I want to go back to for the sex thing. Oh, yeah, sorry. Because I have a very funny story and I feel like girls will relate. So one thing about long distance

that honestly you would love. You can eat Mexican food all the time. All the time and you don't have to worry about blowing up the bathroom when he's there, whatever. I don't have to shave every single day. Like I don't have to be clean every single day. I don't have to be like a perfect little Barbie doll

that like they want to have sex with every single day, which I enjoy. But on the days that like I know I'm gonna see my boyfriend, I haven't seen him in like a week, you take like a full girl shower. Yes. So Craig and I were somewhere and where were we? I can't even remember now, it's unimportant.

We're somewhere and he was like, let's have sex. And I was like, let's wait till we get home. I'm so gross and I just feel sweaty. I know my underarm's smell. Let me do a full shower and then I'm literally I'm all year, shower, I'm and then I'm literally I'm all year. You're full hour shower, right? Yeah, I'm all year. No, I'm not kidding.

I literally went into the bathroom at like 7 p.m. and I was like taking my time. Like I was doing skincare. I was exfoliating. Like I was just doing all the things. You're pulling out ingrowns. I'm just like having a day in there. I get out of the shower.

I'm like, I want to put something like sexy on but I don't want. I'm like, I wanna put something like sexy on, but I don't want it to look like, I'm not putting like lingerie on, like let's grow up. But I'm not putting on like my normal Tommy John, like joggers and like matching shirt. It looks spaghetti stains on it. So I put on like a big T-shirt, and then I have these, it's the brand Tommy John,

and they are the only pajamas that I wear I've fucking loved them. But how'd you find them? I literally found them like years ago. I think, because I know how cool they're so cute. No, they're so fucking comfortable. It's like box or briefs for women. Basically.

So they make these one like box or briefs that are just like so comfortable, but they're like cute. They're like cute like short little shorts, but they're underwear, but it's not like, oh my god, she's in like a G-string. So I put these underwear on. I go out to the couch, nothing's really happening, or whatever, Craig and I go to bed.

He's on his phone. We're watching TV, nothing's really happening, and I'm like, pardon, what's going on? I am bad at initiating. I don't feel like I should have to initiate equal amount of times that he does. So I think that he should initiate more. So I'm laying there.

I'm full on dead fish there. And I'm like, well, I'm not like, go to grab him. You're laser spread open, but you're just like, no, literally. I'm like, what's happening? Netflix is on, this is the time. Like, let's do this and so then finally like we both are like getting awkward and I look at him and I'm like do not want to

have sex like what's going on and he goes why thought you didn't want to have sex and I was like I literally said I'm gonna shower and like do all these things for you like what are you talking about and he goes well you put your medicine underwear on And I was like first of all now look amazing You know they get medicine out of it. I got let's back it up first of all What is medicine medicine underwear and he goes well last time you were those underwear like you had I think I had a Yeast And I like had medicine in and I was like if if I didn't go, don't touch me. And then I put those underwear on because they're comfy.

You were a thong after putting on yeast infection, man. And he was like, well, I just figured something happened in there and you had to put medicine on, and then you put those shorts on, we couldn't do it. He's such a dude, where he's so scared of getting things wrong with women that he just is like, I'd rather not, I'd rather not even ask. So if you're ever in a predicament

and you don't wanna have sex with a man, put on something that looks like medicine underwear. Medicine underwear, so how'd you, where'd you go from that? We had sex. Yeah. When you say initiate, because I think, yeah, we got some questions on Giggs White tour

about like initiating sex. Is it mostly verbal? Like will someone be like, do you wanna sex? Or does it just start with like kissing? I can never be verbal about it. Because I also feel like saying like, hey, do you wanna sex? Takes away the whole, it almost, now it feels like,

okay, this is on my to-do list. But like, if you weren't long distance and you're just living with each other every day, there's never gonna be a moment. No, you have to make make them. You have to literally be like, do you want to fuck? Yeah. I feel like I just like grab a stick. Yeah. So you're initiating. This whole time you've been initiating. I'm just like, oh my god. Sometimes? He just grays it. You keep grazing it. I also know that sometimes they literally do treat Craig like he's a pre-schooler. Okay, if he's like trying to talk to me, I'll be like mommy's working. Mommy's working.

But like if I want to like have sex, I'm like, oh my god, it's so big. What happened? Oh my god. You know, like it's literally like, he's like, you think so? You really think so? You have so much power. But that is so fucked up. So you have to trick them. I feel like dating is all about just who's better at trickery.

See, I'm dating a very smart man. And it kind of sucks because he is smarter than me. But I do have to say last night, we went to dinner, which was crazy. It was crazy. I had a really fake eye. It was for an oom right? Yeah, he was like, where'd you go at dinner? So go at dinner.

And we give, and obviously like, I ate my face off. Yeah. We're going out to a nice dinner. Yeah. And we get back and I'm lying down and he's like, we should probably have sex. Yeah. And I looked at him and I was like I just had like duck breasts Oh my god, was it good? It was so good, but like duck I had flon

It was one of those like topest places where like I had so many mixtures of ingredients And I wasn't feeling like light as a feather. Yeah, and I was like we're kind of rejected him. Yeah But it was cuz I was in a food coma right somehow okay an hour or two later We end up doing it yep and I farted Wast But we have this moment He was like was that vaginal or from your butt and I'm like if you have to ask you know it was from my butt. Just picturing death at say the words, was that vaginal?

It was made by me. It was mostly the word vaginal. But it was like, we have that moment where it's a split second. Like the whole night could be ruined or we can continue. It's make a break. Make a break. So I just started laughing. I didn't like, obviously it wasn't vaginal.

And then I, he just like was still waiting. And I'm like, oh, he just wants me to say vaginal. Yeah. So I was like, back and I was like, oh, he just wants me to say vaginal. Yeah. So I was like, what do you want me to say? And he was just laughing. And I was like, vaginal. And then we just continued.

And afterward I'm like, this is what happens when you make me have sex after a five-course top is there. No, you have a sensitive tummy. And it was a big, gross one. But like, I was kind of, you know. No, you were gassy. You get a lot of air. If I'm not farting during like, I was like, I was kinda, you know. No, you were gassy, you were air, you get a lot of air. If I'm not farting during sex,

I'm too focused. You're nervous. You're literally like Courtney Kardashian. You're like, at my skinniest, I was miserable. You're like, if I'm not farting during sex, I don't love you. The only way to orgasm is like to really free and loosen your body.

No, it's so true. I can't have an orgasm while also holding in massive amounts of air that are just trying to come out and more things. Yeah. Anyway, mom and dad, you're so listening, guys. You can turn it back on. Oh, I had a humbling moment. I love those.

I was in Soho. Yep. Everyone was so stylish. And I was feeling myself. I was like, I'm in Soho. Yep. Everyone was so stylish. And I was feeling myself. I was like, I'm in Soho too. Yeah, I'm one of the girls. And I see this girl and she looks fucking sick. And I was like, with, I was like, with,

I was with my video guy. Yeah. And I don't, a New York you don't just like do that? Yeah, you know? But in my head, I was like, I'm gonna make this girl's day. Yeah. Cause she looks amazing in the South. And someone needs to go out.

And we're just in the street, which is kind of creepy of me, but I was like, I like her skirt. She just keeps walking past me. She definitely had like her air pods in. And then I just pretended that I was talking to myself. Oh. Oh. Was any of this caught on film?

No, I don't even, I think he might have seen it. But I went from feeling. To healing. To healing knowledge it. No, I went from feeling so fucking cool and nice Yeah, to feeling so fucking dumb and powerless and powerless. She didn't even flinch She has like your skirts really And then I was like this why I don't belong so I was a girl

She's giving the finger You were in the end. She was giving the finger. It was just so weird. What the fuck? Wait, did you see the front page news story about Megan Fox saying she's never like her body? What do you think about that? First of all, I didn't see that.

Psychonovol getting a lot of mixed emotions. Justice for models first off. Justice for models, I do like that people are being honest. You know, I love people who you look up to being like, look, it's not what you think it is. Right. What was what does she upset about with her body? She was just saying like, she can get so many compliments on like, she looks so good and blah, blah, blah, but she said never once in her life has she felt like, I love my body. Wow. Isn't that crazy? It's fucking dark.

It's dark. I guess it's hard when other people are telling you what your body is and you maybe didn't have the time to like, like, it on your own. Or if you feel like it changes from anything it used to be, then it's like not. I just feel like, you know, you have like days where you like, do your makeup or you'll do your... What you'll do your, do your, what just happened? Just have a stroke.

Do your hair and your look in the mirror and be like, that's not me. Like I don't look like myself today or something. Yeah, everyday. Now I feel like I'm just gonna be like, whatever, Megan Fox hates her body so, it's all up here uphill. Well that's why some plastic surgery, I'm like, clearly these people didn't like how they looked. Speaking of, I emailed someone about us getting Botox and they sent me dates and times to see what works for us. I literally felt like a such a little kid.

How'd you find this person? It's my dermatologist, but I emailed the girl that sets up the appointments and I was like, hey, I would really love to get Botox. But also, my friend wants to come to you. Like, I feel like such a little... So what happened in your life that you were like, it's time? I don't know.

My dad screamed at me this, well, I was home obviously from other stay weekend. I said to my mom, I think I'm gonna get Botox. And she looked at me and said, yeah, I got it. And I was like, okay, thank you so much. Did you have ideas on where you got it? Because it's just Botox.

Yeah, it's a note. If you need a live note, otherwise Botox is a great star. And then I sent it to my dad and he was like, you don't need that, but it was like, I was like, like, dad. So I was like, dad, you could get a whole new face and he'll be like, what, look at your pretty today. He would never know if you got both tops.

Never know. My dad gets mad if I wear red lipstick. Interest, that's an interesting choice. He's like, you look like a clown. I feel like I've never seen you in red lipstick. Yeah, because my dad traumatized me. My dad and does. They're always like, well, like you don't make up.

Wait, I have had plenty of men say, men don't like red lipstick. Yeah, which is interesting. But it's like, I don't know, because I think in logically, it's like if they kiss you, it's messy. Do you like red lipstick? Yeah. You like the way it looks. Yeah.

I like the way it looks sometimes too. In their defense, not that I come to the men's defense often, but in their defense, it is messy. Yes, and if I do one scratch on my lip and it moves over, I look like Miranda, you know, that Miranda YouTuber. Miranda Cosgrove? That was a niche reference. She puts lipstick all over her face. I don't know, but it's hard to see on my algorithm.

Yeah, it's not on your algorithm for sure. So yeah, we're gonna go, what kind of Botox do you want? Oh, you haven't thought about it. I have. Whatever he tells us. Well, what happens? Because I've had like consultations before it terms, what they're like talk about Botox.

And they have you move your face, maybe smile. And then they show you all the movement. And they go, we could take that away, we could take that away. I don't, I think it's weird if you take the creases by your eyes away, because then it means when I smile, I'm like, but that's actually exactly where I want it. I hate the creases on my eyes, and I have, and I hate like in between my eyebrows. So how are you going to look angry?

Don't know. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like, what were we? Like, where in Italy were we from? And he was like, well, my wife's like 100% Sicilian. And the guy literally did the sign of the cross and said, I'll pray for you. And I loved it. I loved every moment of it. Because I was like, that's so true. She's a psycho-ass bitch. And I am so happy I take after her.

It's gorgeous and Sicily. It's stunning. I mean, have you seen White Lotus? I'm so Sicily's popping right now. I think the mafia was really strong and sissy too. Good for them. Who knows but at least you prayed. I also had a really bad uber eats fail the other day. I was really starving and I ordered an Italian sub speaking of Italians obviously and a pickle. Yep. Obviously.

On the side. Yep. And a drink. And I was so fucking hungry and I was like, put it in and I'm like, you know, and you're just watching the driver and he's like, making turns, you don't approve of it. Yeah. What's over there? What's going on there?

You know what I said, I was up first priority, but I press priority and he's going backwards. From the looks of it, you went home. And then you're like trying to distract yourself, you just keep checking it. And then the best is when it's like one minute away and I'm like, this minute's been taking 10 minutes. So if it really comes and I'm like, ah! And I go to open it up, wrongs up.

It's a pickle and a drink. No. And I'd forgotten, like I picked the sandwich. No, no. No, I pressed the flat. I started crying. No, that's so fucking right. But then I started dying laughing.

All the way to it was a pickle. And then I started dying laughing. All the order was to pick. And then I was like, what did these people think? Yeah, they're like, this girl's weird. This girl's strange. They could have gotten a pickle from her. Does this like, I should have called you. I'm like, there's weird people in New York, just ordering pickles around here.

Like, I could see it happen. But like, I remember when I first picked up the bag, I'm like, there's something wrong with this order. And all I had was a pickle. Did you reorder it? I reordered. Just a sub. And it came pretty fast. But it's just one of those, you mentioned frustration.

It's the little things. It's the small thing. And you can put all your anxiety into that sandwich in that moment. It'll set you right over the fucking edge. So I broke emotionally and physically that day. But now I'm back. We both have green nails. We both have green nails.

I love that you went chrome So I was at the nail salon and I asked for just a regular French I was like I'm feeling classic. I'm the lady's shape said no again How is this always having to know like every time I say like your nails you're like well. I wanted orange I literally go I want to go back to French. Like, I thought it was like, let's go back to the classic. Yeah. I love white at the end. I think it's so pretty.

But I, for whatever reason, I've been getting gel for like way too many times. And my nails are just like abuse. Like, they're just like all these white spots on them. Yeah. Is that my name alone, calcium, too? I don't know. Add it to the list.

But they're just white spots all over my nails. And the lady was like, no. And I was like, can we just put tan underneath not the clear and she's like no It'll come through you'll see it. Oh look fucking weird. You could have done like a pink underneath That's what I said and she was just like no she don't want to deal with that you want to know what I think they I think they're like I don't want to deal with doing this knowing you're gonna hate it and then I might possibly have to redo it Which I got first of all I would never make you do my nails. Yeah, they don't know that though deal with doing this knowing you're gonna hate it and then I might possibly have to redo it. Which I guess. First of all, I would never make you do my nails. Yeah, they don't know that though. They don't know. I'm like, you could literally do. You got poop nails and like, poop

nail. They're gorgeous. So then I had to like she was like, pick another color and then I wasn't prepared for this. Because you come in with an energy. I'm like, I'm aanchnell girl. No one talks about when you're sitting in the chair and you're like, oh actually I'm gonna do a different color and then they bring you the colors. Mm-hmm. Like you can't get up and like go back to the board to look like you bring you what you said and you're like Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then you know the next three weeks you could potentially be in the wrong energy. Yes. But I was like okay you can't go wrong with. And then let's put some chrome on it to be fun. Yep. And this is like an emerald.

I love that. And yours look good too. Thank you. Mine are like a sea foam, but I'm gonna be honest. I was over it like the second day. So. See, I like the darker green. Yeah.

I think I'm gonna go back to my normal pink. Well, the last of all of seven seconds. Wait, not to bring up reality TV again, but they're doing a whole special on Randall. It's that crazy. I mean, it is perfect timing, because everyone cares so much about Vanderpump right now. But it also potentially, with Lala,

I feel like people are going to feel so horrible, but then also be like, this guy's been hurting women and cheating on women for a long time. Yeah. And it seems like a monster. but then also be like, this guy's been hurting women and cheating on women for a long time. Yeah. And it seems like a monster. What do you think about reports are saying that Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady

could potentially be an item? People are really hating on it. That is so Kim. Kim loves the most powerful, it guy of the moment. I was actually texting Craig about it because she's potentially buying a house in the Bahamas like where his house is and Craig and I have gone to that island before and like we were in the house next to them like I saw just I like walking around the pool in her bathing suit

stunning gorgeous so I was like oh my god Kim's like buying a house in the Bahamas, like right where we stayed. And he was like, that's like so crazy. I wonder if she's gonna have like all the security and blah, blah, blah. It's a pretty like chill island. Yeah. And I was like, I have loved Kimberly since the moment I met her on my television. And I will never not love her. Same. And that's just like, I don't care. And people are like, oh my god, she shouldn't be dating Tom Brady. Like Tom run. Shut the fuck up.

Tom runs. Yeah, Tom runs. Yeah, Tom is running. No, I was more upset that like, why are we choosing Tom? Like, he just retired. He's going to deal with all these like identity issues because who is he without football? He also just got divorced. He's like fighting for his life and his family. Yeah, it's not ideal. He's definitely on Ozambig and no one's talking about it.

Valid, you know? I mean, I do think they both have great work at like whatever. I just think the second she like finds like a really wealthy like successful older businessman. I'll be like, yeah I want her to like Sophia Ritchie it like that's when I know she's found her man Yeah, but like Tom Brady that's PR Like you don't fall in love I guess you had seen on his golf cart Which is just some rich people shit, you know like on the golf course Or just like a girl like on the island going around the island like looking to buy a potential home

That's how rich celebrities flirt they just buy a mansion next to the other I was just like hey Neighbor like I wonder if he was like oh my god come stay at my house in the Bahamas like for the weekend She was like fuck you all by my own house Yeah, she like we go like window shopping. We like they literally go house shopping on a date. Adorable. But that's why like our dating pool is so small. Which is actually kind of sad. Very sad. I feel like people don't think like, I feel like people think oh she's so famous,

she could get anyone she wants. But like she actually can't date anyone she wants. No, there's probably so many guys that she would have been great for if she wasn't famous that they would have connected and found love, but because there's so many complications with fame and money, it wouldn't work out. I wonder if she makes people that she dates sign NDAs. For sure, for sure.

I would love to be on her first date and just like slide a piece of paper and be like before we go any further, I'm gonna need you to sign this. It's so funny though too, because if someone made me sign NDA, I'd be like, what the fuck is it about to go down? Yeah.

This is gonna be crazy. I feel like there have been random work things where I've been asked to sign NDA, and I'm like, fuck yeah. But like also, I'm never in my mind and I'm like, I'm not gonna talk about this. I know. Like I'm gonna talk about that. Like I'm not gonna talk about that.

Yeah, like. My mom's literally on the line right now on speaker. Does an NDA work if you've already told everyone? What are the logistics on that? If you're live streaming it, just account. Yeah. Is this a violation? Also, but NDA is, like I get it,

but it's just so legally you could sue the person. NDA's and private investigators really get me going. Did you hear about Megan Trainor, my girly, who we haven't spoken in a while, but she might be mad at me. I don't know, I have to look into it, but she was talking about how she has vagis vagimus mis-

Vaginosis? Vag, Vag, vaginal. She gets cancered about painful intercourse and vagin nismis diagnosis. What does that mean? Sex with her husband, Darrell Sabera, a spy kid, is painful because of her vaginismus diagnosis. Oh my God. I just heard a story on TikTok that this girl thought that she had an STD because every time she had sex with her boyfriend,

it would like burn in her and they both went to the doctor. And he was like, you guys don't have anything. And he was like, do you eat a lot of spicy foods? And the guy was like, yeah, I eat a lot of hot sauce. And they were like, okay, it's like, come, like what you eat goes into like your calm and you're literally burning. So you're on a strict pineapple diet for the next two years. Is that in town?

How much? Hot sauce is like, I'm assuming. What the fuck? I don't know. But is that nuts? How much Frank's? Yeah, could he possibly be consuming? But could you imagine being like,

I know my boyfriend cheating on me. I know he gave me an STD, like it burns an IP and then it turns out to just be hot sauce. He divorced him, he took the kids. Yeah. Honestly, that would give me an egg. He's just being like, I thought you were like, out here, like banging some really hot cheetos.

You're just disgusting. Oh, I didn't realize you're just gross. Also, how much hot sauce do you have to eat before your taste buds are just numb? I feel like he had to be consuming a lot of spicy and hot foods. So, vagusness, vaginismus is a... Maraculous. It's not like a bacterial thing. It's an involuntary tensing of the vagina at the start of intercourse.

So like her body is doing it. Her body? Again, it causes like burning that like after sex you can't walk. I mean, she's basically saying her like after sex, you can't walk. I mean, she's basically saying her pussy is so small. Oh my God. But this is like amazing that she's speaking out about it. She also mentioned that he is a huge dick,

which I think was iconic. Yeah, good for that couple. Could Darryl, I mean any guy named Darryl has to have a huge car. I feel like that as well. Yep. I think it's kind of a mental thing. Oh my god.

Or like your body gets scared for whatever reason and like closes. It's like when we try to do anal. Yeah. You know what you're like? Nope. So I think with some women that can happen and it's a condition that needs awareness. Oh my god. Imagine you have that like when you're younger.

Oh my god. Like before you even have sex and you like, or like is this what it is? People will feel it during like exams. Wow. But she had a child. She had a child. She had a child.

But like this is the thing, the men haven't even like researched vagina. It's like they don't even know what's going on. They have no idea what we're going through. No. That's the way you can for it and say it was a queefe. It was vaginal. It was a queef. It was vaginal.

It was vaginal. I hate when that happens though. Like I get so, yeah, like uncomfortable. Well yeah, because that was him. He like did it to you. But I don't think they know that. Like I think that the men think, because I have had that happen to me sometimes

where I've had like guys be like, it's okay. And I'm like, no, I know it's fucking okay, you did it. Yeah, you're doing weird shit when you're taking it out. You're like, are putting air in stifling air and then like a fart cushion. Yeah. Like, I know it's okay. I should tell you it's okay.

You don't go, okay. You're dick just farted. Yeah. Like, get out of here. Literally, go home. Why are you even still here? Did you know Scarlett Johansson dated Ryan Reynolds? Isn't that nuts?

Did I make that up? Mm-hmm. Why is no one talk about that? They went on a double date. And Blake was with her boyfriend at this time. Is that crazy? That's crazy. You don't talk about it.

People do not talk about it. I'm Googling as we say. I feel like there's so much crossover in that like a list celebrity world that like we would never even know about. Oh yeah, there's probably so many hookups because that people don't talk about. Because they do like a lot of normal life.

So I mean, I feel like there's like a lot of hookups that you're just like that. That was a crazy one when I heard that. Yeah. But I don't think the second they go public, it's on the internet forever. So I feel like so many people don't think the second they go public, it's on the internet forever. So I feel like so many people don't tell. I just think it's so funny when things are in like that

people still don't realize that like things that are in press are like supposed to be in press and things that aren't aren't like when's the last time you saw a picture of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively like walking into a restaurant? You don't. Yeah. Like but when you see other celebrities that are like doing these things and they're like, oh paparazzi caught them doing it and it's like, well no, they didn't.

No. Like unless if it's like you're in a scandal, you know people are flying around, paparazzi did not, paparazzi had to be alerted that you were like getting called in. This publication was alerted. A time was sent up,

emails were sent out, wardrobes were picked. The lighting was right. Superb. They will pick a final photo too. Like they'll send the photos and be like, what do you want? Correct, a mandal.

Cause it's two people scratching each other's backs. You're right, the publication is getting. Right, the publication is getting awareness. The person is getting awareness. So if you're not Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively and the way they do it, I don't believe anything about you. Isn't the only gets seen on red carpet sometimes? Yes. Even Mendez and Ryan Gosling, people don't even know they're married.

They're my goals. People got mad. Remember when I posted my wedding photo without Dess? And I was like, well, who planned it? Right. Who did all the work? Who did all the work?

He literally woke up an hour before. Also, if you're following me to just get TMI relationship, like that's fine, but you're not gonna, that's not the fun part. You're literally gonna get none. Or like you're just gonna see obviously like the fake, you want to see fake shit of other people posting their relationship, they love each other. They just got a huge fight. The other day Craig posted like a carousel of photos of us and I was so scared that when I clicked on it there was going to be like a big long caption There wasn't it was like one sentence and I was like But I can never one guy's post carousels because you know they're picking like

Wild photos. Yeah, I he didn't even like ask for my approval on any He went rogue. He went rogue What was going on? You think you're in charge or something? Was it like a random just like, random love my girl? Not even. It didn't even like talk about me. I don't love my passion.

He was like, who is she? Has anyone known this woman? She keeps showing up in my house and grabbing my dick. I can't remember. With her medicine underwear. I think she's a nurse. I watched the Erin Carter documentary. Oh my gosh, what was it on? I have no idea. Yeah. I don't know who Lou maybe. I think it's who Lou. I think crank them out. Like crank them out. And it's definitely wasn't, yeah, definitely was quick

for sure. I think it was someone say too soon. Yeah. I mean, I still like won't watch a 9-11 documentary. I'm like, no, this is dirt, dirt. Yeah, it's been 40 years. But it's really fucking sad because A, I don't think he died on purpose. Yeah, and B. You think he did it to himself or someone did it to him?

As in, he was just trying to have a good time. Got it. Like he was like doing that. I don't know what it's called because I'm so prude. But like you like air. It's like air. But he ends up drowning and so much. Also, I've been around the block. I've seen some people do some weird shit. People have done less for more. Yeah, like never in my life have I even ever heard of people like huffing air. Yeah, but the thing is like we grew up with Aaron Carter. Like I don't know where I was. There was saying Drake Bell is, does the same thing.

He does like that air thing. Oh no. Yeah. Well, I remember where I was when Aaron's party dropped and like I want candy Yeah. Well, I remember where I was when Aaron's party dropped, and I want candy drops. Yeah, I remember where I was. Like, we were his age. Yeah.

Like, we were like looking around. Do you remember when he was in the Lysian McGuire show? No, it was since I remember being like this kid. He was our Justin Bieber. He was our, yes. He was fully our Justin Bieber. He was so cute. And I thought he was better than that.

I was an instinct girlie. So I was like, he's better in the backseat boys. He is kind of like a nebo brother, but anyway. The online hate, when he started having trouble, was so bad, like he was just a joke to people. And it's so sad. Cause he clearly is such a sensitive, beautiful, talented, amazing soul.

You know what's crazy too? The amount of online hate when like, you didn't even really know, no one really even knew him. Like you saw him because he like performed concerts. You knew him because he put out a CD or like he was in a TV show. But like never did people, like there was not like

there was interviews on Aaron Carter at that time or like he was on a reality show. Yeah, she did do a reality show. He did they did the family. Do you remember the Carter? No, they had a reality show and what's fucked up is his one of his sisters on the live to self no way yeah, so they were like I think after filming got up and Basically supposed to be like a rebrand of him like showing the family and and being, but it just showed like a lot more tension and drama, obviously, and it wasn't healthy. And then they just like do those little like things

where they show all these tweets in like a minute. And it's just like, well, at least I'm not Aaron Carter. Well, like Aaron Carter is such a fucking joke. Yeah. Whenever I feel bad at myself, I look at Aaron Carter's life. Like, and it's not funny. Not funny. Well, like one is funny.

And then when you realize hundreds and hundreds of people are using you, then you start believing it. And you start hating yourself more. And then with addiction, his family started to basically cut him off and be like, if you're going to be like this, we can't be part of the family with you. So when he passed away, he wasn't even talking to his brother at the time. So sad. It's so sad, it's so dark.

And they had our girly, Christy Carlson Romano speaking. Because she's a former child star who dealt with addiction and has recovered. But it's like, it's a thin fucking line. It's, no, it's crazy. I just started watching the Pete Davidson show. Oh, yeah, yes, Bup kiss What's it about is it his life? It's about he plays himself like he is Pete Davidson But didn't he do that in the can you stand island? Yes, but it's a great He wasn't Pete Davidson in that yeah, he was just like a kid. This is him as big famous. This is him as being famous

the just like a kid. This is him as being famous. This is him as being famous. The cast, Joe Pesci plays his grandfather. The guy from the Ray Romano show who plays the brother, like plays his uncle. Yes, yes, with the love voice. Which one will call it plays his mom, the mom from the sopranos, Carmella. I figure out what her name is right now. So he's Italian in it.

He's Italian. Yeah. His mom's Italian, his dad was like something else. His mom's Italian, I don't know what his dad was. It's so funny and so good. And there are parts where he talks about like, because in the show, it's very relatable in terms of like he lives in Staten Island, he lives with his mom, but like he's paying the mortgage.

So he's like, my mom lives with me. Yeah. And like he is just a normal person and like his family's like, oh my god, you're in a movie. And he's like, yeah, it's crazy. And then hold like Google himself. And hold just be like, it's not good. Like no one fucks with me.

And then like his grandpa talks to him about it and he like goes to therapy. It's just so like good and funny and real. Yeah. And you really like, you love him. I've heard really good things about it. But yeah, again, you stop when you get famous, you stop becoming who you are

and you become like the character people put into you. Which full circle makes, I actually am like fully understanding why celebrities change their entire face because you're like people don't know me from me anyway. So if you're just going to judge me as this external figure, why not make it as this product that I am as perfect as possible because I'm a product to you guys. Right. And that's all I am to you and it makes me money. And I feel like we live in a world that's like, be real. Like be, be a friend.

Be a friend. Be a friend for real. But it's like people that are that famous, like you can't. Like you, do you like your real? Yeah, like you have like your celebrity persona and then you have like who you are with like the people that legitimately know you. Exactly.

I'm excited to watch it. Also I watched Beef. Yes, I watched that. What do you think? I thought it was good because it was so out there. Yeah. It was so different. Yeah, it was so different.

Never have I seen a storyline like that. Never have I watched a show like that. There were parts that I thought were really funny. I forgot his name. He was really good. He was, he was so like a bull. Okay, the acting. They're trying to make it like he was annoying,

but he wasn't annoyed. He was, I want bull. Okay, the acting. They're trying to make it like he was annoying, but he wasn't annoyed. He was, I want new friends with him. And then she is so fucking special. Yeah. Like, she was funny in like, not being funny. Yeah. Like it wasn't the thing she was saying. She was funny in like a real life way.

And how she is. Yeah. When she pulled out the gun. What about when she's like masturbating with the gun? Her husband was hot too. Look at him, I was so nervous. I was so nervous. I was so nervous.

Because he was so hot, but she was trying to make it like he's too vanilla, and I'm like, be vanilla on me, baby. I don't care. And I thought his mom was a great casting. Great, she was good. No, it's a good show. I didn't realize how into shows you are.

No, I'm so into shows. Until he went flying with you you and you looked at me with like panic and you were like, what shows do I have to watch? And I was like, why are we discussing this five minutes before the flight? I've to download my shows. And she's like, I've to download my shows.

I've almost missed flights because I'm waiting for my shows to download. That's crazy. And then the second we get on the flight, you're fully have a set up. No, yeah. You're taking notes. I'm an iPad kid.

You're fully and I've been a full iPad kid. I'm a full iPad kid. I Literally do this new thing now where I get on the plane last I don't care where I'm sitting what my baggage situation is I Will you always check your back? I am getting on the plane last because One I don't want to sit on that tin can Longer than everybody else to and you may show us to it, because what am I gonna do on the flight? The Wi-Fi, I don't care what airline you're flying,

I've never had working Wi-Fi. And then they act like it's the first time I never broke, I'm like, it's never worked. I've been flying recently, there's no TVs in like the headrests unless you're flying like four hours. Like, this is ridiculous, so I bring my iPad. Now I like know my set up. They gas like, you're like, hey, the internet's not working, they go,

that's crazy. That's crazy. Because we have the best internet in the world, and you're stupid. Also, what are the airlines doing with the internet? Because you have it when you're waiting to get on the plane. You go down that tunnel. When the door shuts, boom.

Internet's gone, down the tunnel, you're in no man's land. Then you have to wait to get internet until the plane gets in more air to hit Mars Like why why do we not have it download? It's not that kind of internet. Oh God. Oh God No streaming no downloading Basically your t9 tax tag. What would you do because you know where things happen to me in the airport? And I've been on like four four thousand seven hundred to do planes lately. I sit down and the guy sits down next to me. You know, you just get weird energy from people and he's gonna be a problem. Yeah. He's like, hi. And I'm like, hi. And then he goes, and this is at

10 a.m. He goes, can you open your window? And I'm the window seat. Okay. And you know what my plan is. The second the flight. I'm you're out lean against the window In pitch black. Yeah, cuz it's 10 a.m. As you should cuz the sun is literally coming up beaming Beaming laser beams into my eye. What would you do? Okay? What I would do and what I want to do is two totally different things First of all him how'd you take it off? No. Okay, him asking you to put the window up while your still, your plane is still grounded is absolutely insane on his part.

Because one, they tell you to keep the windows down for a specific reason and it's to not get the plane hot. Or else then they have to run the air. So it cools the plane down. Oh, so he actually could have put us all in a very jeopardy. And also, if you're not sitting in the window, you don't control the window. I naturally was like, of course,

shutting a window that's crazy. I want to get a sunburn. I would love to get sun in my eye. Also, it's not like he was reading or like, also there's a light if you need to read. But anyway, at first I was like he's older maybe there's You wanted to see LaGuardia what they're doing. Yeah, he needed the view Yeah, maybe I assume some people get weird on airplanes where they're like really nervous

I said to does like what would you do because I like asking another man like how do I handle this and he goes you would say Sorry, I prefer not to and when he says it It's like well, obviously, where you know I would have puked myself. Literally. So I spent the whole flight with like, you know, when you close your eyes, sweating, you close your eyes and there's like, you can feel the heat. Sun. I am low on vitamin D, so maybe he saw that. Maybe he was like, this girl is very depressed. Brand met the stake on his land. No, I agree with you. Obviously, we're putting it up in our brains. We hate you. Tell her to press. Burn him out the steak on his land. Burn the steak. No, I agree with you. Obviously, we're putting it up.

In our brains, we hate you. And I'm the only row that has it up. Everyone else is peacefully like me, me, me, me, me sleeping. Yep. And then this guy doesn't even look over. No. Also, if you are looking over, that's fucking awkward. Like you're just staring at me, trying to sleep.

I hate him all. Anyway, you guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. Good luck on your next flight. Good luck on your next flight. The niche collection came out. I'm going to Vegas in two weeks if people want to come. I have one show. Book a bet you're at.

Come to the show. And we have tickets for Chicago. So exciting. Love you guys. Thanks for getting with us. Bye!