Giggly Squad - Giggling about pranks, perfectionism, and dance anxiety

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

Paige is back in Italy and Hannah met her hero.shop summer merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. What's up, my galloping gigglers? That's a good one. We've been really horse-themed recently. I'm not sure why.

You created a lot of backlash because everyone was like, we have a horse team in Texas. It's called the Mavericks, you dumb bitch. You can't just say that to me. Like, you've created a lot of backlash. Like, that will put me into a literal spiral. That's the kind of backlash. I love to have.

Like, oh my God. I wouldn't let page start the pod because I'm trying to put together the perfect text message. That's a name drop. To Maria Sharbova. And obviously everything, it's either like way too lovey-dovey or like not giving it the justice it deserves. How old is she? Is she our age? This is the thing.

She raised me, but she's only like three years older than me because she won Wimbledon and 17. Is she the youngest woman to win? There were younger, like 15, 16-year-olds. There was a time where girls were winning, like, pretty young. But she came in and beat Serena Williams in the final Wimbledon at 17 years old, and everyone's like, a star is born. It was Lady Gaga. How old was Serena Williams at the time?

I think in her 20s, but, like, it was her prime. So everyone was like, oh, Serena has got this girl. No, yeah, I'm like, sir, I'm so processing yesterday. But let's, before we get into it. I'm just trying to think, like, wait, what's the greatest thing I ever did at 17 and I think it was like that was the year that everyone was like page can do hair like you could do other people's hair yeah but I really couldn't but for whatever reason I was on the prom circuit oh so you just had good PR you weren't actually it was all smoke and mirrors you got lucky once and then you like it ran like wildfire I had phenomenal PR in high school if I could bring back my PR from high school into I was mysterious no one really knew does she drink we don't know does she have a boyfriend she's very candid

what was the hair your go-to hairstyle like when a girl came up to you it was like I need my hair done you were like this is the page look okay I'm not kidding I straight up was a consultant in like my senior year of high school girls would come to my locker be like this is the dress what are the shoes accessories in the hair and I'd be like you're smoking a cigarette you're like okay pulled to the side cascading are you following me I'm like, not a necklace that will be detrimental to your well-being. It's an earring. It's a larger earring.

It's a bracelet and a shoe. We don't see the shoe. It's a clear, loose. Like, I would go off. I think you need to consult with my sister, Ma Jeannie, because Lois, she's taking it next level. She refused to wear her soccer jersey because she said it was too big and ugly. Well, Ben there done that. I quit.

I quit T-ball, okay? I said, Mom, What the hell is this? I said, no, I'm not going. Lois is me. I am Lois. Well, you want to know what? It's funny.

I got tagged. I kept getting tagged in this Instagram, like, real. So, like, finally, I'm watching it. And this mom being, like, my daughter's going to her first day of kindergarten. And I'm freaking out because she picked out an outfit. And I'm scared that the teachers are going to be like, you're a bad mom, basically. So I'm, like, watching this video, watching this. I'm, like, waiting for this.

the outfit. I'm like, it's going to be something crazy, like a bathing suit and all the stuff. I see the outfit. I go, honey, you should take notes from your daughter. That is the perfect first day outfit I've ever seen. It's called editorial. I go, it's giving classy. It's giving professional, but it's giving whimsy. It's giving I can move. Like, I'm like, I think your daughter's worried about you, babe. I think I think she's worried how you're going to show up to bring her on her first day. Now, when I was a child, I didn't have that angst because my mom, like, she would walk in as like a chaperone for like a field trip and I would be like, you other bitches could never. Like, I would literally look at other girls and be like, do you see your mom? Look at my mom.

We're not the same here. She's wearing high heels to the apple orchard. We aren't the same. We aren't the same. I'll never forget that bitch's apple orchard outfit. I couldn't believe she showed up in it, it was perfect. I can't believe her friends because I literally like two years ago I started being like, oh, I should put an outfit together. It's been my whole life. I quit cheerleading my senior year because I wanted to put outfits together for the Friday night football games. I literally go, I can't be a cheerleader anymore. I have to be creative. No, you've missed very important Zoom meetings because you're planning your outfits for the week. I'm like, if it wasn't on my schedule. I can't just jump to it. Oh my god. Wait. So when did you fly to Venice? Okay. What day is it? It's Monday.

Because I know you had to leave yesterday, but like it all gets confusing. You know we get thrown when Paige was overseas. I flew Friday night. My flight was at 9 p.m. I flew 9 p.m. landed here Monday morning. but really it was like 11 a.m. here, but it was like 5 a.m. year time. I couldn't sleep on the flight at all, and that is so not me. So when I was landing, I started having a panic attack that I didn't have like sleep deprivation and I'm going to like pass out and I'm like, it's going to be so hot. And then like I have to take a boat transfer and like what if I get nauseous? Honestly, I'm so dramatic.

No, but everyone talks about I'm going to Europe. I'm going to Europe, but I'm like, it's stressful. No, my body really does need to acclimate. Here's the thing about Venice, and I've only been here for a couple hours and most of it in my room because I fell asleep. They're not kidding that you take a boat everywhere. I thought it was a bit. I thought it was like optional boat, and then like you could, like, you can walk around. I thought the gondola was like Times Square.

Like, you can see Elmo if you want to. I thought it was optional. Okay. No cars. There's no cars. Wait, did you have to paddle? You just get in like this little like cigarette boat. There's literally spot. It looks like bus stops.

But it's for boats. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's the I've never been here before. I am, I feel like I'm in a movie. It's quite literally the prettiest place I've ever been. Obviously I've been to Capri a bunch. This is a different type of beauty. Like Capri feels very vacation.

This is like... Italy. Yeah. This is like, oh my God, my ancestors. I was going to say, now you're with your people. I do love that you go to the same vacation every year because it's like no drama. You know, it's going on. But I'm like, let's see some culture.

Let's see some things. My dad would be dying. He'd be like, but Capri's right over there. Why don't we just go? Also, this hotel room, the wooden clanks on the, like, it's already the aesthetic. I'm vibing with it. Wait, I want to like give you a tour. The audio people love this.

The bathroom's in there and then like back there is like the toilet. I'm going to be honest, the way they set it up. The feng shui? Not the smartest. Italians don't do feng shui. No, Italians don't do that. The bathroom is bigger than like the bedroom part, which I'm like, honestly fine. You could have used that the last Italian vacation.

Yeah, I could have used this massive tub. There's two tubs in there. Venice is a very, it feels very, honeymoonish. Ooh. The only thing is it's, you're not swimming in that water. Like I was like, oh, do people jump in this? And they were like, no, that's disgusting.

You don't swim in the Venice water. So I feel like it's not, like, I don't consider it to be a vacation if I'm not putting my bathing suit on and getting, going in water. Anytime people are like, oh, I'm going on a ski vacation. I'm going, I'm like, no, you're going on a ski work trip. That's a work trip. all this shit you got to pack and put on, that's work. Talk about accessories.

Don't get me started. We haven't skied because does Torres ACL because I prayed for it. And here we are. You want to know what? We probably never will again because now we're with two men that have zero interest in it. They both have new problems. Yeah, if we want to go on a ski vacation, it would have to be just the two of us. I think it would be like we book a show in Aspen and end up being there for like three days

and we shop one of the days and one of the days we like drink hot chocolate done glad we we wrap that up glad we figured that out i can't believe you're in fucking italy right now i'm so i'm like i can't believe it but um i was gallivanting all weekend where i i feel like i saw that i didn't check your location but i saw your instagram story and you were glam and you were here and you were there no i was you guys this is my micha the u.s open you know that and this was my weekend and I did a Lou Lemon party. And then after the party, I went to another party. Who does that?

You know what's crazy about friends? It's a pyramid, right? It's definitely... Oh, and at the top. Did you ever watch Dance Moms? Actually, you know, I've never watched an episode of Dance Moms. Wow, that was really bratty. You gotta.

It's some of the best reality TV. You gotta. You're at the top. The pyramid. You trickle down. Everyone knows about you. Everyone talks about you. When anyone asks anything, they have to consider you involved.

Anything anyone tells me will be told to you. Anyway. To some people, I'm an imaginary friend. They've never seen me. They've just heard about me. But you feel your presence always next to me. It's like a ghost.

Sometimes people will just talk to you when they're with me. They're like, can you tell Paige? And I'm like, or they'll just ask me about you. And I'm just like. You're a vessel to me. I'm a literal vessel. I'm a literal vessel. I'm a spiritual vessel.

But then I have these like I have my comedy friends who like have saved my life comedy friends when I'm with them you know when you just feel like oh these are my people like they make fun of everything Can I give you a compliment? Yeah. You pick

great friends How many bad people have I introduced you to? Some of the worst people you've ever met I've introduced you you have you always find genuine nice women do you know my mom early on i remember middle school i was complaining about something and she was like what if you hung out with people who liked you okay and i was like that's heavy i'm seven years old that's heavy for the fifth grade yeah that's

i'm like well they just don't like me because they don't know me yet and they haven't seen the sides of me Thank you. That's such a nice thing to say. I do think I'm definitely quality over quantity. And also, I am better one-on-one. I'm not that great in a group setting. Yeah. I just feel like anyone you've introduced me to, I've genuinely been like, whether or not like I've kept a friendship with them or not, I've genuinely been like, that's a really good person. A great example is Haley. Haley is a perfect example of someone where I'm just like That's probably one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life That's a little angel

It's just the friends you keep around you Like their energy I don't know if this is the right word But it like bleeds onto you And like I cannot have like dirty fake weird vibes Close to me at all It's like

I'm just like really sensitive Yeah Where like I'm like You can handle more than me Because you could disassociate I think she's a sociopath. Let's find out. I'm like, do you think she'll skin me and wear me and then date my boyfriend? Let's see.

Let's hang out with her for a year just to get the bottom of it. I love a fun, crazy girlfriend to live vicaracy through, but a lot of them, I don't care what they do. I like when their heart, their heart is there. Totally. And then I met the comedy friends, and I was like, oh, these are my people. Like this is They are joking about everything They're able to be self-aware and laugh at themselves

I'm like I love this But then I forget like I have so many friendships From the tennis world that like I just haven't Rekindled because I haven't seen And after this little lemon party There was this other party called the racket mag party The Teen Bug Party Party

And I was with Iyan who is Francis Tiafo's girlfriend who like played tennis for UCLA. Madison Appell, shout out, who was number one for Indiana. Like I'm just with like the most badass tennis girls ever. And I'm like, it's so funny how you have different identities. And like in that moment, I was like tennis Hannah again. I was like, we're just some athletes hanging out.

We're just we're just athletes, some former division one athletes who have, make it their whole personality. I feel like society kind of teaches you, you have one friend group and that's your friend group and if you don't stay friends with them for the rest of your life you're kind of a bad person because they've known you when in reality I think it's so much nicer to have different friends also in your 30s it's so different having friends than in your 20s it's like for sure complete different life but it's also funny how many people from the beginning like come back around because they were that girl like the people who are meant to stick around will you don't have to force friendships

with people from when you were little right what's crazy with tennis though is was like, we weren't friends. We actually fucking hated each other. Right. Like, imagine you, it's similar to you with like all the other models that you'd see in your child modeling, how you were like, I'm trying to put it in your perspective. I was going to say like when I see people from other reality shows that I have nothing to do with, I feel like we already have a connection because we both did a reality show. Yes. but back then like I would see all these girls' names on the draw and they were it was just like they were standing between me and like my dreams right oh okay I literally had to fight them for a spot yeah the girl that beat me out for the Barbie commercial who then got her own show on a Nickelodeon yeah yeah think about like a ton of Victoria justices in the room and there were some that I got along with really well but it was still like looked down upon to like be good friends with girls it was almost like you were weak like you weren't tough and you weren't scared

Yeah, you had to walk in and everyone need to be scared of you. And you know that's not my vibe. So if you were at a tournament and it was like, you, would you go into like a girl's locker room? You would love the vibe of a tournament. Everyone has their own outfit. Like you get to wear whatever you want. And you walk in and you're with like your dad or your coach and you just wait around for your name to be called. And then you and the girl don't say a word to each other.

Get the balls and go on the court and battle it out. So where are you prior to the course? court waiting. You're just in a tennis club. So, like, you're all just, like, not talking to each other in the tennis club waiting. And, like, you're warming up. Sometimes you intimidate people by, like, doing some crazy warm up. Was there ever, like, fights in terms of outfits or, like, she always wears her hair?

Well, there would be, like, ever now and then a girl would, like, get sponsored by Nike. So, like, the girls that got sponsored by Nike or Adidas, like, one day they'd walk in, like, wearing the outfit that like Marisha Popovit just wore at the use open and you were like, oh, she's that girl. Oh, okay. Because she got attention from brands. Yeah. Wow.

Okay. Okay. So like she was wearing all the best stuff where sometimes, you know what I mean. I'd be showing up to this tournament's wild. With a Sophie short and like a ripped shirt. Are there any rules on things you can't wear? I don't believe so. Like can you not wear a baggy t-shirt?

I don't believe so. There's some rules like in tournament. where like you can't wear logos that are too big and Wimbledon you have to wear white but like Wimbledon you have to wear all white you knew that I didn't you knew that maybe I knew that and it was deep in my brain but I love that I think that's why you first fell in love with the sport and you forgot how you first fell in love with it well no I think I first fell in love that I realized it was all grass like it was all greenery one thing about me I love a plant I love oxygen I go it's giving wedding aesthetic. I love. It's giving the background of a brunch wedding. Has anyone ever gotten married at

Wimbledon? That's a really good question. It's also very, you like it because it's like impossible to become a member of the Wimbledon tennis club. Like you have to win Wimbledon to be like invited or you have to be like, your dad had to like invent London. Toastery strudels. You like the exclusivity of it. Yeah. So let me long story short, I walk into a racquet party and you know me a second I won't do a party. like we got to get out of here. Yeah. But immediately I see some kid, guy Gary, who I literally trained with in Brooklyn. And he's just like, Hannah.

I'm like, Gary? Shout out Gary. I see this guy, Kahari, who played on the Beacon boys tennis team with me, run up to me, gives me a bear hug. And immediately I'm like a kid again, just like a tennis player. Like I could cry talking about it. And I'm just seeing all these faces. Then I'm seeing these girls who like, their tennis influence.

now who I follow and I'm like I know you played for UCLA like this girl Chanel and I'm like I've always like looked up to you and she's like I saw your name of the draws too like it's so cool what you're up to and I'm like do you know this was crazy right we just like had this like out of cult moment where I was like I know that we never talked to each other before but like yeah I love you like I'm so proud of you like I'm so proud of these girls once like you have children and then you like run into someone from high school in the grocery store, it's like that vibe. Yeah. Where you're like, oh my God, where'd your life go?

Congrats. No, I was so proud of everyone, but it was just so cool to feel community in like different places because there was a moment where it was just the gigglers. That's all I had. Yeah. That's all I was. And that's honestly, that's all I actually want. That's all I need.

I actually don't want any outside groups coming in. It's too much. The next day I drove to D.C. and by drove, I mean, got driven. Aiden and Des drove me to D.C. for a wedding. My first wedding of the summer. I didn't know you had a wedding this past weekend. I know.

And then we drove back that night. Oh. I know. It was a lot, but a giggler came up to me and she was like, hey, what are you doing here? It actually is funny when you see gigglers out in the wild doing, like, the most mundane thing. No, she was like, what are you doing at this random family wedding right now in Washington, D.C.? That's nice, though, that Des, does.

drink so he could drive home. I do have to say shout out to Des and Aden. You know what they did? What? Aiden put on Dolly Parton the whole ride, and he's, like, obsessed with Dolly Parton, just, like, saying Dolly Parton and talked about how amazing she is the whole time. Honestly, after 30 minutes, that'd piss me off.

Two out, two and a half hours of Dolly Parton? Okay, I love her. Okay, Jesus. By the way, I sat in the back. They sat in the front. They were like, yeah, car ride. I went full Uber driver. They tried talking to me.

I was like, no, thank you, no talk. You have to lay down, put your headphones on. Lay down. Didn't say a word. They were like, are you okay? And I was like, I put no talking on the Uber app. Like, please leave me alone. So, yeah, the wedding was bonn.

I did a little dancing speeches. But I just, you went to more weddings this summer than me. I'm so sick of weddings. I really, there's literally, I don't want to go to any wedding. next year. I have one wedding, my girlfriend, Ariana, next summer in Greece. That is like the only wedding I want to go to from now till then. I did. It was a church wedding too. And I haven't been in church in a minute. Long, long, long sermons. Can I say something that's like a bit controversial and like people might look at me differently, but I'm just going to like speak my truth. You love a church

wedding. I do love a church wedding. I definitely will have a church wedding. As someone who like travels with rosary beads, yeah, obviously, I actually was packing my bag to go to the airport and I was like, Hannah would die laughing. I have like a rosary beads case with rosaries in them and like a little handkerchief that my grandma gave me that I think was her mom. That's beautiful. So I have that. But then I also have another rosary bead case that has this like little charm lock on it. And that my grandpa gave me and I travel with both those items. And I used to keep them in my car because I feel like wherever I go, they protect me. Anyway, that's like not even.

That's a whole other podcast. That's a whole other podcast. At weddings, I, and like I've been, obviously I've been to family weddings. I've been to like close friends weddings. I've been to like, I'm the plus one. I don't know anyone at this wedding. It does not matter what the wedding is. I don't feel comfortable dancing ever.

I don't care who I'm with. I don't care who my date is. I don't care like how comfortable I am at the wedding. How drunk you are. It doesn't really ever cross my mind to get on the dance floor. At my wedding at some point there was like a crazy grind line where someone's feet were being held in the air. And like there was and you were, I remember seeing you just like, you were sitting on your. That's insane.

I have a traumatizing. wedding dance story. It's not that traumatizing, but I just remember I was like 17 and you know like, actually that's like the weirdest age to be at a wedding because you're like... It's so weird. I just remember being like, I don't want to dance. Like, I was like, you want to dance and you're like,

oh, I was a girl working with dancing. And I tried to dance, I think, and then I like came down and sat down and my mom was on a dance where and I was sitting with my dad and my dad goes, look him on dances. He goes, you see how she moves her hips? That's how you need to learn how to dance. And I was like, what the

Fuck. Yeah, maybe it's because I don't think, consider myself a dancer. Like, I don't consider myself a good dancer. That maybe that's my insecurity. But I don't. But then I look at people and I'm like, okay, well, I couldn't dance as well as that person. So it's not that. I just think it's like, I don't know what it is in me that I'm just like, I don't want to.

Wait, no one talks about dance anxiety. It's so fucking real. And I feel it the second I hit the dance floor. I'm like, everyone's staring at me right now. And I'm like, that was, oh, I didn't hit that. Everyone's staring at me. Didn't hit that. Oh, and then, like, bad bunny comes on and I'm like, I don't know if I can.

Yeah, I just, like, feel, I feel more comfortable being, like, at the bar and mingling. Yeah. Than I do going on the dance floor. You guys know, Des loves dancing. Does he? He did dancing with the stars in Ireland. You guys should all Google it. It's a crazy era in his life.

So when you get to a wedding and you see, like, okay, come on, let's get on the dance floor. Yeah. So then I was talking to a giggler, obviously, and I'm looking at him, middle of the dance who are going crazy, starting to sweat, waving me over. I'm pretending I can't see him. And he keeps, I'm dying in that moment. And I'm like in a deep conversation with the giggler. And I'm like, mom is working right now.

And then finally, I'm like, fine. As I go over, the crowd, like, everyone's like, yeah, come in. They start opening it. Next thing you know, I'm in the middle of a circle. No. And I look at him in the eye. Like, my eyes were scared. I was like, I did not sign up to be the middle of the circle.

I signed into like be on the side dancing. Middle of the circle is so scary because the only move I have is the worm. Otherwise, like, what do you do in the middle of the circle? And you can't bust out the worm at not a close friend's wedding. This is Des's friends wedding. This is not even my friends. No. Like my friend's wedding, anything I do, they're like, no, that was funny, Hannah.

This is who what the fuck's going on who let that girl I dance for? even though you're his wife essentially as a plus one at a wedding I feel like it's your duty to kind of like I don't think you should stand out 100% I don't think you get in the middle of the floor and you're commanding the room because at some point

people are going to go who is this person 100% and yeah like I don't need to be dancing you know with the mom and the grandma in the middle doing like they were like Greek and we started doing like a Greek I was teaching people like but look if you have fun you have fun and totally there's some people that you should hire for your weddings like that are just really good wedding guests like they add to the vibe it takes one person to make a wedding fun Hannah I was thinking about that because I was like I don't for my own future wedding

I don't want to kill the vibe of the dance floor and I was like what if I just hired actors that were like dancers that like got people to dance in the Hamptons we met Maurice through Southampton social and he is the most fun amazing guy ever who I stay in touch with and for my wedding obviously he was invited when I tell you he made my wedding yeah like Maurice was the DJ the hose the dancer the greeter like he did everything who was your DJ I don't remember who did your I got like a cool girl DJ and the music was good anyway oh my God it was good it was good it Hannah, it feels so long ago. I was like, was that when a wedding's like, I don't even remember, you guys, I picked the first dress I picked out in a strip mall. Like, this was a different time. That was like a fever dream.

Like, I don't remember. That is great. You're married. Wait, I got announced yesterday. They were like, and next is Hannah Burner, who resides in the Lowery Side with her cat butter. And I was like, definitely have a husband. Wait, I have a question. Has Des ever said anything?

Have you ever had a conversation about changing your last name? We've talked about the concept of it, but he knew. I mean, we've talked about, I was like, can our kids have my last name? Oh, would you? Okay. You took it one step further. As someone who has thought about changing my last name my whole life, like literally, even when I was like 10 years old, I'd be like, and isn't it crazy? I won't always be page to Sorbo.

We're so different. I literally was like, my name is burner. It'll always be burner. No one's going to take that for me. I'd be like, what do you think my last name will be? And my mom would be like, I don't know. But right now it's De Sorbo. Now at 33, honey, I'm Paige De Sorbo.

I am no one else. I am Paige DeSorbo and those kids can have his last name fine. I don't really even know those kids yet. So I am fine with that. But my name, I don't want to change it anymore, which I never. thought never even if you asked me like five years ago are you going to change your last name i'd be like well yeah it's so crazy you've changed a lot over the last three years through this podcast i've changed a lot

i've changed a lot through this podcast when i did morgan stewart i was talking about our tour and how like transformational it was for me as a woman our tour and your bachelorette party were two really pivotal moments in my womanhood because you did a photo shoot the whole bachelorette. I just felt myself. You were like, I just felt like it was finally a time for everyone to celebrate me. Yeah, it was like, finally my time to shine, you know. I'll never forget that green sparkly dress.

I think about that green sparkly dress all the time I can't find that. You're like, finally women embraced me as I am truly. And you were there. People have been re-listening to the pod from the beginning. Yeah. And I was like, are we like really fucking stupid in the beginning? And then they like kind of paused and I'm like, have we actually evolved and changed at all? And she was like, not really.

No. And thank God. And thank God. Imagine now, imagine we like evolved into like this is like a news podcast or something. No. Even like when we have children, like I don't want to talk about them. No. They're going to be like des.

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And someone asked me, like, interview was like, where's Paige? And I was like, Paige isn't been asked. She couldn't make it. She was supposed to be here with me. but I ended up watching the Novak Drogovic match and he like puked the whole time. Wait, I saw that on my Instagram. Yeah, we're sitting there watching. The headline was like his body betrayed him.

I was like, oh, okay, but when I do it, it's like maybe... You're we? No, I like, he walked to the side and I'm like, I can see him from there and I'm like, he just puked. And Des is like, there's no way he just puked. I'm like, I saw water come out in his mouth. Wow. I wonder what was going on.

Dehydration. and cram-who knows, but it was like just watching a man. Maybe he was anxious. It looked like he was going to faint, like the whole thing. But it was beautiful. It was very fun. And he lost. In five sets.

No, in five sets. It was a five-hour match. We didn't even get to see Venus Williams. We had to leave because it was past Desa's bedtime. Oh, my God. What time did they go on? Like at midnight. Also, Venus is like in her 40s.

They made a groan at mid-time. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. And then played for how long? Probably two hours. No.

No, tennis is, the sport is insane. Why wouldn't they just be like, okay, back tomorrow morning? Because there's a whole schedule and it affects the whole draw. But Venus definitely was like, are you fucking kidding? Yeah, I feel like that's like a crazy disadvantage. Well, but no other sport. I mean, golf takes forever, yeah, but like it's not the same kind of physical stuff. tennis you could play a five-hour match just you running for five hours thank you so much for bringing that

out because i saw like this this golf thing the other day they were interviewing someone and it was like a golfer that i'd like recognize but i saw an interview with him and i was like oh my god he got so old like i guess i haven't seen him in like years whatever i don't even know what his name is irrelevant but then they were showing like other golfers that are like top golfers right now and i'm like i'm like wait a minute i look in the mirror every single day and i look at at my body and I think, how could you be better? And that's the plate that women have to bear. That's the burden that we live with.

And I'm looking at these men and I'm like, never once you thought, hmm, I'm a professional athlete. Maybe I'll lay off the Oreos this week. I mean, it's shocking, Hannah. It's actually shocking. Is there another sport where you don't have to be physically fit at all? I mean, at all. These men, I'm like, how many beers you put down last night?

That is a crazy gut. If I've ever seen one, you're only 35. What is your excuse? I'm going to have an argument. If you have to wear a belt when you play, it's not a real sport. And I'm going to concur with that. As someone who's never played a sport but has worn a belt, I concur. And I love golf, but it's more of a sport skill than like a full sport.

I just feel like if there's a chance, not saying I would win, but if there's a chance I could beat you in a race, I don't think that you're a professional athlete. That's crazy. You're very fast. Okay, as the fastest girl in the fourth grade, I understand that. But I just thought it was, I was just looking at them and I was like, oh my God, it must be so nice to be a professional male golfer because you don't have any body dysmorphia at all. And you don't have, you don't have like a body standard. You also get to just like fuck off your family for seven hours because you're doing a job and playing with your boys and then traveling. the world and like never calling your kids it's kind of crazy but anyway i recorded a podcast with

maria sharp probably yesterday and i'm still processing i saw that on your instagram so it was a live recording of a pod yeah so your outfit was oh my god thank you it was a Zimmerman set that i found online you looked like a professional tennis player who was coming to give a talk so i'm such a nerd that i was like I know Maria Sharpova's fashion style. Like, even in this era of her life, like, I know what she likes to wear. And I was like, she would wear this. And I walked in. And she compliment my outfit.

And I was like, honestly, I was trying to channel you. And she immediately starts joking. She's like, I mean, I would have tucked in the shirt. And immediately, I'm like, I fucking love her. This is Marie Sharfov, by the way. This is one of the greatest tense players to ever play the game who raised me, even though she's like three years old than me. If someone ever said that to me, I would have started crying.

No, no. We immediately start busting each other's balls. Because look, when you meet really famous people, there are all kind of energies that you get. Totally. And you leave the room sometimes being like, wow, like I didn't even make eye contact with that. Yeah, like that was weird.

That was scary. Like they really did not want to make eye contact with me. And then you think it's your fault. Like, I think I threw up after I interviewed Martha Stewart. I was like, that was the scariest thing I've ever done. in my fucking life. And by the way, Marie Sharpova is known to be

like intimidating on the court. That's her whole thing. Like she never smiles. She's, she's got the Slavic energy. She's serious. Yeah.

Strongest mental, she's incredible. And I immediately were like joking and laughing. And then I didn't realize it was her first ever live show. Her first ever live podcast. Oh, wow.

This is so Marie Sharapova wasn't nervous at all. like just didn't even mention to me just standing there. Do you think there's any tennis players that take beta blockers? I don't know if you could do it like during a physical activity like tennis. I don't know if it affects like the oxygen to your brain. Interesting. Because I've thought about it. But I think they're on like SSRIs for sure.

I need to know what the professional athletes are doing when they get anxious. Also Murray Sharpova. So savage. The podcast begins, she's interviewing me. Which by the way is the, weirdest thing ever. And she goes, this is a quote from you. I'm now in stand-up comedy, but my dream was to win Wimbledon. I go, okay, right to the heart.

So then I just look at her and I go, yeah, what was it like to win Wimbledon? And she goes, felt pretty fucking good. And we're just like literally making fun of each other. That's so your type of friend. I knew I was going to be enamored by her. I didn't know I was going to fucking vibe with her. Like the chemistry was just so fucking fun. Like I just wanted her not be annoyed by me.

And then it got into I was like, she felt like I was with a sister. I don't mean to like make you jealous. No, it's okay because that's how I felt about Morgan Stewart. About Martha Stewart. No, Morgan Stewart. Oh, I just said Martha Stewart. I was like. Martha definitely didn't vibe with me.

That's for sure. That's on camera. Martha was disgusted by you. But when I met Morgan, I was like so nervous. And then I was like, wait, we're friends. I was like, we have the same personality. When someone makes you feel like you could be yourself, how like immediately you stop being a weirdo.

And I spent an hour with her and like just the effect she had, if you Google Marz-Marie Sharbova. Yeah. Her fashion is next level. She also came on like she's blonde. She's like the six-two Russian. But she's, like knew herself and every girl wanted to be maria sherpova growing up did she grow up in russia or

she grew up here she was born in russia and then at a very young age her parents like put all their money into like imagine being like we're putting everything into this like six year old girl and i was with her manager her agent he's been her agent since she was 11 years old oh my god i was like how did you know she was the one he's like i looked at the tense academy you knew you're like she's going to do it. And like four years, five years later, she won Wimbledon. Wow. Good for her.

But it's crazy. She's 39 and she's lived so much life. Yeah. Oh, okay. So Chelsea Handler's always been friends with Maria Sharbova. And like I would see Chelsea Handler in her box watching her matches. And that I thought was like the coolest thing. I've talked about this, but like I just need to reiterate.

And then Marie Sharbova on the pod, it comes out on Wednesday, pretty tough pod. But she tells this story that is so funny about Chelsea Hamler, which is so Chelsea. Chelsea goes to the Olympics in London like 10 years ago with her. Now for Chelsea, obviously, this is the vacation. This is fun. We're drinking Pims. Yeah. And she puts her in the players box.

Now, in the players box, at the front is the coaches who are like coaching, right? Right. She says she looks at her players box. Chelsea Handler's next to her coach yapping, cracking jokes, making fun of him. drinking, probably on drugs, leaving, coming back, like, just chaos. And Marie Sharpova was like, what is she doing? But Sharpova wins the match and is like superstitious. So she's like, hey, Chelsea, you have to do that for the next.

But like the whole tournament, you have to sit there. So then Chelsea stays the whole tournament. And in the finals, Sharpova loses to Serena. And she said, Chelsea came up to her afterwards and said, what the fuck was that? Oh, my God. But anyway, shout out to girls, girls, because that is the kind of support I want to have for women. Yeah, shout out to women in sports and women supporting women in sports and Chelsea Handler. And by the way, Chelsea, she is that girl, like, she's that person who will support you even if she's drunk.

And that's important. And that's important. That's really important in our society. We're not always in our right mind. Because I've had a lot of people who get drunk and don't support me. I've had the exact opposite happen in pretty much every relationship I've been in. But anyway, now I'm trying to put together a text back to Marisha Prova. I don't know what to do, but I'll deal with that on my own time.

I love that. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that dissertation. Yeah, I was really excited to tell everyone about it.

Are you excited for the next couple days? I'm very excited for the next couple of days. Josephine has a schedule. for me running. She wants to see this. She wants to go here. She wants to try this restaurant. We should get pictures over here. So I'm just like going to go by her schedule. I flew in a day early than I needed to be here because I really, my body's so sensitive. I really needed to just like relax and unpack my clothes and make sure I had all my outfits ready. And like one thing, Hannah, there's no shower in my Because they want you to bathe and eat like tortellini.

There's two tubs next to each other, okay? Oh, they want you to hold hands with your romantic partner. So there's a bathroom over here, right? It's two tubs, two sinks. You think, sure, where's the toilet? You have to come out of the bathroom round a corner. There's another bathroom, just a toilet and a sink. And no shower.

And no shower. I'm like, guys, you had so many operas. So many water lines are running through this place. We have a bath. We have a toilet. What should we do with a third one? Another bath. I can't tell you the last time I bathed.

I'm not a bathe there. I don't bathe. I'll do a hot tub. I'll live in a hot tub. You know, I actually try and take a bath once a month. I think it's good. I come from a household where my mom took a bath every single Saturday.

That's so camcoded. She got the bath going. She did whatever her, like, lotions and potions were. She shaved. She must have been going out. That little slut. She must have been going out

every Saturday night now that I think about it when I was younger. And she would do this before going out? Yeah, she would like get ready all day on Saturday. She'd get out of the tub and then she'd do her hair

and then she'd do her makeup. and I would just be like, what is she doing? But now I, like, don't remember. Why is moms putting on lotion, like, the most comforting memory? I think because that is the first woman, you know. Like, so, like, everything she does, yeah, everything she does is, like, low-key soothing to you. You know, Maria Sharpova, my, your mom, my mom. No, my literal sister, Maria.

She was A lot of tennis players are perfectionists And she was saying that having a kid She has one kid Is the one thing that's helped her With her perfectionism Because she's like

You cannot control What's going on Right You can plan what you want You can try to make everything Go as planned And go right But the kid is just going to be

Like Go fuck yourself Do it Yeah do it every month As a non-mom When you hear moms Be like It's horrible

But it's perfect And it's the worst but it's the best. I think it's the challenges of it that actually help you grow. I'm trying to figure it out. As a non-mom, thank God. I don't have the bandwidth right now. Does anyone?

I couldn't think of the worst thing to happen to me than have a baby today. Someone said they were like, whatever you're going through, just be like, at least I'm not pregnant. And then to all the Gieglers that are pregnant listening to this, you're perfect. We love you. Yeah, I'll pour one. out for you tonight. I never talked about in bed with Paige DeSaurobo this season. I had my first

episode last week and I had Nikki Hilton on, which actually is a perfect example of meeting someone where you're like, what is their vibe going to be? And I, she was so down to earth and normal. It actually was like shocking to me. I feel like she's purposely been like, I don't want to be in the public eye as much. It's annoying me. She's like one of the most normal people ever. Like, I forget They like asked her to do something. They're like, is it okay if like, do you want someone else to do it? And she was like, no, obvious. Like I can do it.

Like it was just like I forget what it even was, but she was just very down to earth. But this year it's live. So it's like the past two seasons we've recorded it for an, like an hour and a half. So like there were times where I could stop and we could reset and like. Got the break. Yeah, cut things out. Add things. Whatever.

Forget people's names. It's a very different. vibe this year. And so like we're live. But like she knows the segments that we're doing and like it's only for 30 minutes. So it's actually not that bad. So whatever we're chatting and we start talking about Daphne. And she's like, oh my God, wait, I have a gift for you.

And she just like says like, can someone get my bag? And in my head I'm like, wait, we're live. And the I know for a fact, the Amazon team is like, what do we do? And I'm like, someone get her blue Chanel. Sparkly back. We have seven seconds. So they get her bag and they bring it over and she's like opening it and she like hands me this gift and I open the gift. Hannah, she has a jewelry line.

She made me a ring with Kitty's face on it. It's like my new favorite ring and I put it on. She goes, your fingers are so skinny. And I said, thank you so much for a noticing. She goes, no, no, really, I'm going to get you one that fits. What is your ring size? I've never even. I go, well, it's a four.

But she goes, what? Like people think I'm lying when I say that, but I'm... So anyway, me and Nikki Hilton have friendship rings with our cats on them. And tune in to In Bed with Paige DeSorbo. My next guest in September, well, it's up in the air. We'll see what happens. How do you like interviewing live? It's more pressure because I feel like there's more pressure on me to, like, think of something funny after.

Because, like, it's boring if you're just watching us talk about bed and you're not laughing. So I feel like I have to like add in jokes where when we tape it, sometimes I feel like I can think of a joke for longer where when it's live, it's like quick. And I'm like, is this episode going to be boring? So I'm, it's a little bit nerve-wracking. But I talk to myself for 30 minutes live all the time on Amazon. So I know I can be live for 30 minutes. but a lot of people have never live like when else would they be live yeah how many times can i say live jesus take a shot every time i feel also like sometimes with comedy when you have a little pressure you could be funnier because you don't have time to like overthink the joke you just have

to like get it the first time after it was over i was like great and i never have to think about this episode again because it's already out there like i don't have to be like what are the teasers What are we clipping? Like, it's done. I love that. I love that. So that was nice. Oh, my God.

We've had two, like, crazy weekends. I can't wait to see the Venice footage. And we're going to a fashion show together, like a cool one. Next Friday. You guys, we're doing fashion week for a day together. Heck yeah. Friday we're going to the Witerhof show. Wiederhaft.

Very excited. I've been a fan. You wore them. on Fallon. They're like, you know, I love a, one thing about me, I love a corset. And one thing about you, you love Bridgerton. And that's where we combined. That's where we combine.

And that's our bend diagram. Because I love a little snatch in the waist. But yeah, I'm excited for a day to be running around New York with you. I love the outfits that really accentuate the female body. I think that's like, I think that's why we love a corset. You love, like. Show your curbs. Yeah, showing a female body.

We love it. Not a golf body. Not a male golf body. Oh, someone DM me and they said that all men's body standard is Mark Wahlberg. He said, wow, that actually is a good one. But he's also 5'7. And it gives them hope. And he's also inspirational.

Wait, do you want to hear something funny about men's golf? Always. They're not allowed to wear shorts. They have to wear pants. because they don't like their knees. Someone's in my knees are kind of white and pale. Who was like, okay, we're going to play the sport, but I swear to God if I didn't wear one wear shorts,

I'm going to freak the fuck out. Golf has so many made-up ridiculous loser rules. My brother said the golf stands for gentlemen-only, ladies-forbidden. Is that true? No, but like, good-good definitely believes that. What does it stand for then? He probably made that up, but like it's probably a coincidence and then like men ran with it.

But do you know I was, I played tennis with my old men the other week. And one of them was like, you know, I belong to this like fancy tennis club. Like you should check it out. And he said what the club was. And the other guy was like,

are women allowed in that club? I felt like I was in high school tennis again on the boys team where I was like, do I have to fucking beat every single one of you? Like what do you do? Are women allowed? Wait, is that? It's still real.

Like there are really. Well, these old school. Hampton's clubs. Like, I remember I told you of my best friend Becca, she's a lesbian and an incredible athlete. And she's the first ever member of her golf club that is a woman. It's normally the husband that brings the wife. So they didn't know what to do with her. I don't know why it just sounded like she's not a lesbian because she's incredible at being an athlete.

She's not an athlete because she's a lesbian. okay? Is it the chicken or the egg? She's very athletic and happens to also be a lesbian. It would be a lesbian. But they're not correlated. How dare you? Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's crazy. They didn't know how to like submit her application because they were like, but who's the man? And she was like, I'm the man. I hate people. I really do.

I'm just like, you're stupid. That's crazy. On a lighter note, I just had the thought, you know, I like to just bring up a random thought every now and then. And my thought was, I didn't. I didn't. I thought I was going to have to keep an eye out more in my life for whoopee cushions. Really when you're younger, they really make it seem like at any time you get to on a whoopee cushion. I haven't seen one whoopee cushion in like a decade. Well, you want to know what ain't shit funny about a prank these days.

No one's prank it. No one's pranking anymore. Honey. I think no one's pranking because shit is really, it's like, it's not funny. It's like we're in a haunted house. We don't have to scare people already in the haunted house. We don't have to do overtime. I also think it was pre-phone.

We didn't have mahjong on our phones. We were pulling out a whoopee cushion. When you got someone on a whoopee cushion, like, that was game over. Like, that was the end of the night. We were like, and that's our closer. Where'd they come from? Never once do I have a memory of buying a whoopie cushion. They just always appeared at your house.

Like, you never got them. One was just there. Blowing it up was disgusting. It tasted like a con. And everyone would like blow it up. And I was like, this is how COVID originated, like started originating at least. It could be the cause of your UTIs. I don't even know, but everyone's slob-nobbing on it.

Like no one's getting punked these days because life is we're punk. We got, we live in it. We live in the show punked. And that's just what it is. Wait, pranking was like the silliest, cutest, cutest thing back then. Pranking is so fun. All I did, I feel like, was like pranks. Like, I remember one time my grandma was like,

you can put saran wrap on the toilet. And I was like, fuck yeah. I'm doing it. Or like putting a rubber band around like the sink. So when you turn it on, like the spiket thing, like sprays at you. Like, yeah, that's innocent fun. I should have Ashter Guts like an influencer. And they were like, my cortisol levels can't handle this right now.

I'm suing. I watch this girl make a video. I mean, so many people have made TikToks about it, but I watch this girl make a video who, like, I follow and like, I've never met her in real life, but she truly, with her whole chest, called herself women, like, or called herself, no, needed to use women, but use the word woman.

Like, okay, and there's a lot of woman, and I actually was like, I can't ever like another one of your videos again because I do dumb shit. That's crazy. I love how that's where you drew the line. You were like, I've had enough. No, the,

videos of the men not being able to read, I'm like, ah, I. Also, with pranks, like, we never faked a prank. Our shit was real. Nowadays, it's like, let's pretend that I'm surprising you, my boyfriend at college. I know I had props. There's all these fake couple prank videos. And I'm like, at one point after the hundredth videos, your husband, like, is this a prank that you're recording? Couples and pranks, different. I feel like, very different. How? How so? Like, if that's your whole thing, I feel like I would start to, like, get annoyed. But it's fun for, like, some, like, randomly doing something or, like, I love, like,

scaring people. Like, I love hiding behind a door. That's old school. That is some, yeah, that's some innocent fun. I do it's kidding. Oh, my God. When you get your brother? Have you ever scared your cat?

No. You've got to do it. No, you got to. If you have a cat at home, do yourself a favor, call them, hide behind something, and kitty dies. Like, she literally gets so mad at me. I've fallen on the ground laughing because I've scared her so good. She's like a human.

She's like, she jumps back and she looks like, bitch, are you kidding? Bring some whimsy to your day. Find a cat and scare it. Also, I'm stressed about Halloween's around the corner. Sorry to bring that up. I know. What difference does it make for us? We're 34 years old.

When do we stop dressing up? When I think we stopped? Also, Halloween, like, then it's like my birthday is right then. Anytime someone says Halloween, I think of myself. Even though it's my mom's birthday on Halloween, I think of me. Oh my God. You guys are such Scorpio's. I'm like, what an amazing birthday gift that must have been.

She was like, oh, just the best. you dressing up and taking photos no me being born oh like it was her birthday and then four days later she had a baby and that is the story of the witch of page de sorbo how she was created

the lion the witch and the wardrobe that is me the lion the witch and the wardrobe I gotta go we have to stop we're gonna that's where we're gonna end this thing we love you guys so much thank you for giggling with us

and we'll talk to you later. Bye.