Giggly Squad - Giggling about roasting, the Illuminati, and Gucci

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

Tom Brady gives us the ick and (allegedly) we have joined the Illuminati. GET TIX TO LIVE SHOWS HERESIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER HERE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Just kidding, I didn't. I came from LA yesterday. My left eye is twitching so bad that I couldn't put my eyeliner on. Has that ever happened to you? Like it was twitching, I was likeing so bad that I couldn't put my eyeliner on. Has that ever happened to you? Like it was twitching, I was like chasing it. Have I ever been tweaking out so hard that I can't do my makeup?

Yeah, for sure. So it's nine a.m., we're fighting for our life, but we are like, we have so much shit to talk about. This is like our version of witching hour. Like I woke up this morning, it was like 7.30, I was like, am I legit getting up to go do Giggly Squad? I was like, shit needs to be talked, let's go. I didn't even wake up, Dez, I was like, this is not for you.

I also, like, I miscalculated. Um, I live in Guam. I straight up commute to work. I... No, like, you have one place you have to physically be each week and you chose the farthest possible apartment. 20 minutes into my drive, I'm like, hmm. This is interesting.

This is interesting. I even contemplated, I was like, I might have to start taking the subway there and then I laughed to myself. I feel like I'm never right, but like was I low key kind of right? No, and here's to myself. I feel like I'm never right, but like was I low-key kind of right? No, and here's the thing. Like I spoke up about it.

Here's the thing, when like you are best friends with someone, when your best friend says something that's like 100% right, completely valid, like if anyone else said it, you would be like yes. When they say it, you immediately ignore it. Cause you're like no, that bitch is crazy. She's psychotic. She doesn't even know what's happening.

And then it comes to fruition. You have to just be like, you have to just ignore it. I'm not even mad for you not listening because I assumed you weren't going to listen. Because you thought that I was low-key trying to force you to live next door to me, which is valid, which was so true. I just kept sending her apartments next door to me. Do you truly feel like that?

Because sometimes I'll be thinking about manifesting my life, or my literal partner will be like, where do you want to live? And in my head, I think, well, my kids have to go to school with Hannah's kids, so I'm waiting for her to decide if she's full-time Hamptons or full-time Brooklyn. Because then I could make a better informed decision. Actually someone asked me about kids recently and I was like,

well Paige isn't ready. Isn't ready? And they were like, how does the math have anything to do with you? And I said, Paige isn't ready yet. We're going to be like 75 and be like, oh we never did it. I'm like, well you never picked a place to live. And they're like, well you never were ready for kids. I'm like, okay well now we're here. Well you live so far away from where we record our podcast, you never picked a place to live. And you're like, well, you never were ready for kids. I'm like, OK, well, now we're here.

Well, you live so far away from where we record our podcast, you never made it. If Paige never comes again, we know what happens. So I was in Hollywood. I've joined the Illuminati. I do have to say, Grace said something hilarious, because I walked in, and that was my line. I said, hi, I'm back.

I joined the Illuminati. And she goes, I feel like the Illuminati's kind of chuggy. Wait. I feel like millennials are obsessed with the Illuminati, and Gen Z's like, okay, get over it. Like cults, it's whatever you want to believe. And we're like, okay. I was starting hard.

It was to meet Kat Williams and join the Illuminati, and then you just call it chuggy? I remember why for this. She also said your skin was so good. Which is crazy. Which could be part of being in the Illuminati and then you just call it Chucky? I would rely for this. She also said your skin was so good. Which is crazy. Which could be part of being in the Illuminati. The baby's blood. Yeah.

Or I got like a little bit of vitamin D for the first time because I was walking in LA. Yeah. I low-key like had two, why do I keep saying low-key? I, yeah you're just so fucking LA. Is that? I was watching your stories, like sometimes when you're not in New York, I don't know why. Not when you're in like other places in the country. Really just specifically LA.

I watch your stories as if I don't know you. Wait, that's the biggest compliment ever? Because I feel like sometimes you don't watch my stories like you're kind of like you watch it in like a like yeah I know I was with her like I don't Right right right like I can click through cuz I'm like oh I was there or like oh, I know she told me about I'm like who is she hoping that you comment on it like sometimes when you're like Like your hand up and you're doing like point five like stories stories. I'm like, who is she? She's living her best life. I literally have to go through the week.

Like I thought last episode was like the craziest story ever in my week was gonna go downhill. LA through so many fucking crazy. Well you like extended your trip. You were like, sorry, I'm not gonna be back till. I was there for. 2025. People were starting to get sick of me.

They were like, do you live here now? And I was like, okay, time to leave. After I spoke to the Gigglers, the next day I went to the roast. Yes. We haven't even talked about the roast. No, we haven't even talked. We haven't even talked.

I have so many questions. Did you watch it? Fully through, start to finish. Ask me anything. Full through. A.M. fucking A. Oh, she pulled out her phone. Oh, she has notes. She's never had one set.

I have so many notes. Okay, now, as a viewer watching it live, everyone's talking about Kim Kardashian. I just love that she stole the show. First of all, this is my first statement I wanna say. I thought she crushed it. I have so much to say. So Kim was two tables in front of me,

which is crazy. Crazy. Cause we're sitting there for five hours. Like I sat with Kim for five hours. You breathed in some of the air that she exhaled. I'm a little mad cause I think once she looked at me, like the one time I was filming her. So I was kind of, Kim, or maybe she was like, is that the Giggly Squad girl?

Yeah. No, I feel like she did. She didn't come up to me and be like, oh I know every pretty girl in LA and how do I not know you? She didn't, Jen Garner? Jen Garner commented on our Instagram. She did, what'd she say? She, like all these hearts and stuff.

Grace has gone. Grace, Grace quit. Grace just quit. Oh yeah, didn't Jennifer Garner comment on our Instagram? What'd she say? A lot of emojis. Oh yeah, didn't Jennifer Garner comment on our Instagram? What'd she say? A lot of emojis. Oh, she posted a grandma, which is so funny. No, I love her.

Okay, shout out Jen. No, I'll literally throw myself in front of a bus for her. We love you so fucking much, capital one. Okay, so. She. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I just. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So anyway, we actually, we sit down and I've never been to like an award show. It felt like an award show. And I was sitting like right up and everyone was kind of looking around. Jim Gaffigan stands up. He's sitting at Chelsea Handler's table, and he starts walking away from his table. And I turn to my friend and go, that's Jim Gaffigan, we know each other.

That's Jimmy. That's Jimmy, this old Jim, old Jim doing his thing. I realize he's walking towards me. He's walking towards me. And then I realize he just came to stand here and gossip with me. He literally is like, so like, who's that Tik Tok girl? Like at one point he- Wait, I feel like he's so good at like having the tea,

but not being a gossiper. Oh yeah, cause he's joking. Yeah, he's kidding. He asked me like who one comic was and then at one point we were just laughing and he goes, why are the kids choking these days? And I was like, I'm not into it, I'm scared. Why are the kids choking?

Choking. Oh. And then we find out he grew up in the place in Indiana where my brother lives and so anyway. It's very cosmic. It was very cosmic, so Jim and I are best friends and I couldn't even process, like to the point where I was like,

Jim, do you want a photo? Like, what are we doing? Wait, I just want to say one thing. When you were sitting there and Kim went up to do her set, was the whole place booing or was it? Let me give you every moment. So first of all, we all sat down. And the roast was like the second it was about to start,

Kim and her publicist just like very quietly sneakily No one knew she was coming. No one knew she was coming and she really like people were like mad about that too. That what? I saw like clips on TikTok that comedians were like, oh she why is she above other celebrities? They didn't tell them because they knew that like all the comedians would make a joke about her if she was there. No, she was there. Well, let's be honest.

If all the comics were making jokes about her, people would have been annoyed because it's the Tom Brady roast and like, leave Kim alone. Okay, leave Kim. Okay. Let me begin. So she gets in, she's super, she's just sitting there

and she's so cute. Like I'm watching her. Like she's literally like watching, turning to her friend, giggling, checking her phone. She's a girl. She's just sitting there and she's so cute. Like I'm watching her. Like she's literally like watching, turning to her friend, giggling, checking her phone. She's a girl. She's a girl. She's literally just being a girl.

She's just a girl. And like, yeah, she has a ton of drama with the other most famous woman in the world right now. But like- At the end of the day, they're both just girls. They're both girls, girl hooding. Yeah. So we had no idea she was gonna go up.

The second I hear them call her name, I immediately am nervous foroding. Yeah. So we had no idea she was going to go up. The second I hear them call her name, I immediately am nervous for her. Yeah. Because I was like, Kimberly? Yep. Noelle? Kardashian. I know the whole world's watching.

Like, to see someone. And she's not. No, I would have thrown up. It's not like she's a football player about to play football. This is crazy. So I'm watching her. Wait, it's not like she's in her element doing something. She's outside of her box.

And in that moment I realized, this is why she's so successful. Either she's an AI robot, or she is just, she handled this moment with such calmness and grace. Cause she not only went up and did the joke, she went up and murdered. Yeah, no, like is funny.

Destroyed. Like fully murdered. Yeah. No like is funny. This is like Murder so what happened is she got up and the crowd was very like ooh, and then it kind of turned into some booze But there's also like 20,000 people so like which is insane not everyone was booing It's just there's so many people and I immediately am upset. Yeah, so I stand up. Yes, you can see me I stand up Yeah, you're like, that's my friend. That's my friend. You're not going to do that to my friend in front of me.

No one else is standing up around me. I don't care. In this moment, I know she needs me. I stand up and I start clapping. Like this. Because why are we acting like Kimberly Noel Kardashian has done anything worse than any of the men on that stage? Kim Kardashian's never beaten her wife? No. Has the men on that stage? Can Kardashians never be in her wife?

No. Has done anyone on that stage? Probably. Sorry to everyone sitting on this stage. We don't actually think that. Allegedly. Just in mathematics, one of you has to have. In mathematics. There's one of you that has.

One of you has hit a girl. Hit a girl. Or at least been rude hit a girl. Hit a girl? Or at least been rude to a girl. More than. Or gave an STD to a girl. A hundred. Or put girls in therapy. Yeah.

There's a bunch of football players up there. They've done some fuck shit to girls. If I was stuck in a forest, would you rather be stuck with Kimberly Noel Kardashian or any of those men on the stage? I would, well Gronk is one, I would be like, beat that bear up, he'd be like 100%. Take the shot glass, break a shard of glass into the bear's eye. Okay, as a viewer, we couldn't tell. The booze.

Yeah, like we couldn't hear them. So she's a genius because she was just playing to the camera. And that's what's interesting about comedy is you have to, you can either play to the room or the camera. We're like, Ben Affleck was playing to the camera like completely bombing. But I was looking at my agent. How no one booed him. Well, because everyone was confused.

Like no one knew what was happening. Or they were like, maybe this is a lead-up to something. I thought it definitely had to be. I was like, there's gonna be a crazy... There's gonna be a crazy... Reveal. There's gonna be a crazy beat drop. He's leading up to something. And then when it was serious, I was like, oh, this guy is... This guy's speaking from his own experience, from his own heart. Like I felt like... This guy went roger, then experience, from his own heart.

Like I felt like- This guy went roger, then gronk. But also- I feel like there was gonna be a moment where you just see Tom Brady with his hand on his shoulder, it's gonna be okay dude. Calm down, first of all. It was the one part, the roasts were like,

I was there for four hours, it was the only time I lost focus. Here's another thing I'll say about Kim Kardashian and the boos. First of all, anyone who goes somewhere and boos not at a sporting event, immediate jail time. What are you doing? No. No, like, you're booing someone? You're booing someone expressing themselves?

No, that's like clapping on a plane. Keep your hands to yourself and shut your mouth. But it's so funny how people were mad she was there, but then they were also mad that she didn't make it about her and let all the comics... It's like she's not on the stage. Also, let's just point out, everyone sitting in that crowd, they're football fans. They're fans of Tom Brady. That's like a different crowd, I'm sure.

Like, the majority of the people are from Boston, which, like, shout out to Boston, because that's our favorite place to do Giggly Squad. Yeah, but I will say I would be very weary of men who like Loath Kim Kardashian. No, that is such a red flag. A man who booze a woman It's kind of like if you break it down Men that like really hate Kim Kardashian is because they hate that she like flipped the script on all of them. They hate that she became famous because yes, she had a sex tape, so she used her body. So the men were like, you can't do that. You're not allowed to use your body.

We choose when you're hot. Yeah, we choose when you're not a whore. Then she was like, oh, actually I'm also super fucking smart. And like, I'm gonna be a lawyer and I'm gonna do all of this thing. And the men were like, no, you can't be both. You can't be like this sex icon and smart. And she's like, well, actually I can

and I'll be like a billionaire out of it. So like the men that like loathe her existence, freak me out. Because it's like, what are you so mad about? And then I really took it back and I was like, what does my dad think? My dad loves her. My dad loves her too.

Loves her. But like not in a creepy way. No, it's like proud of her. Oh yeah, she's killing it. Yeah, Kim Kardashian, she crushes. And so then I was like, interesting, interesting. Keep that in the back of your mind, ladies. That is such a great thing to ask a guy on a first date.

Yeah. Do you have thoughts on Kim Kardashian? Just thoughts. Hater or lover? And if they're like, oh, I don't really have an opinion, even better. Give him a blowjob. He doesn't even know what's going on. He's dumber than you expected, and that's great for us.

I've always been obsessed with successful people. I can't wait for Chris to go on a date now. He has notes. Someone just asked me if I love or hate Kim Kardashian and scaring me. Okay, I do think that eventually we should do some sort of dating show with Chris and the Gigglers because the Gigglers all want to fuck Chris. Yeah, but they don't know what he looks like or anything about him. Because we're women in the arts. We are creative. We're gonna make up in our head.

They've created their own scenarios. They heard his voice and also they like that he gets our humor. Yes. So, honestly, marriage material. Yeah, there's something there. Chris, don't get your head all big. Look at him looking at me all happy. Even if we made it just like some clips, like we don't even have to do a full date. Like we.

Yeah, we'll de-center you. I love that. So anyway, yeah, Kim, when she walked on stage and the average person wouldn't be able to handle that moment. Or the average person would be like, actually I'd rather stay home because I'm rich. No, could you imagine standing up on a stage and 20,000 people just booing you? And then all these like hot gubble guys watching you? I would have started laughing and then I would have passed out.

And then like this is actually insane and then I'm like it's too much it's overload. The fact she didn't faint was iconic. I'm like if she didn't immediately go backstage and vomit Hey, then she should be president Sat back down and enjoyed the rest of the show no and then at the end then the very last guy that went I mean he just like Ophicerated her when he said like oh speaking of a whale's vagina I got if you say Kimberly Noel, I will lose my fucking mind, and she just sat there and was like good one No, that's hilarious. Also, when you're a girl on the roast,

it's like they're gonna make fun of your pussy. Right, that's the other thing. It's like, good one. Good one, whales, good. I made Craig watch Bridgerton with me this weekend because I'm getting ready for the new season. And every other word- Because I'm training for the new season.

Literally training. I watch all of it. And every other or like why you can't do something. I'm like, well, he would like ask a question I'm like, no, they can't do that cuz they're a girl and he's like, well, why can't they get married? I'm like because she's considered a whore Baffled about it and I was like, okay, it's not that much different today. Literally, they wanted to kill Kim Kardashian because she got fucked on camera, and now is a billionaire, and they can't handle it.

So it's literally nothing has changed. Also, oops, sorry, that's the police coming for you. No. It's the Illuminati. They're like, she's figured out too much. She called us chooky. Wait, also- They're like, she's figured out too much She called us chookies Wait, we would have been with the Illuminati

Could you imagine someone coming to us and saying If we disappear, it was the Illuminati Yeah, we're like, we just feel like you guys are doing too much Kat Williams is like, I told you that I'm a gay good spot They talk too much I can do like 20% Cat Williams. You can do someone doing Cat Williams. You can do someone doing Cat Williams. You can do someone doing Cat Williams.

You can do someone doing Cat Williams. You can do someone doing Cat Williams. Wait. She's absolutely right about that. I'll tell you that. She's absolutely right. Takes a genius to know a genius. Wait, that was really good. That was good.

One more thing about Kimberly Noel. I'll make a whole summer podcast about her. Do not come for her vagina, because we all know for a fact, I've seen her wear these bikinis. The girl has a marble vagina. There's not even a hole. No. It's a small slit. It's a sl no I don't know how she got pregnant it's a sliver we all know we've all seen it oh god so anyway I love her so much but then the tea that I want to give the gigglers is there's after party yes

which I heard Tom didn't even go to Tom and Kimberly didn't go so people I think were trying to be like where's Tom Tom and Kim, where's Tom and Kim? Part of me was like, Kim, if you're gonna show up, have sex with him. Wait. And I don't mean it in like a you just, like I mean. This is a hot take though. I feel like Tom. I stan them.

Really, because I feel like Tom gives Kim the ick. Yeah. Like I feel like when Tom initially got single, Kim was like, wait, this could be so cool. And then Tom did something, Kim was like, wait, this could be so cool. And then Tom did something, she was like, wait, no. Because I just don't think you can go from the type of guys that Kim has been dating. Pete Davidson and Tom Brady are two of the most

different people. You can't go funny guy swag to meathead athlete. Yeah. And I don't- Pretty boy. Funny is definitely not his thing. 100% no. But those are literally the men

that I would go for back in the day, the ones who were like so tall, so beautiful, so not funny. And then I wonder why something was off. Because you have to be smart to be funny. And that's what Victoria Beckham told me. And she remembered. And I remember. Three years later.

So I get into the after party. And... First of all, wait, your outfit? Oh, so I found my stylist. I mean, that's your stylist. I found my stylist, Tabitha Sanchez, shout out to you. She just starts pulling outfits for me, right?

And I'm like, what is this? And she goes, 2004 Dolce. The fashion world is sometimes so... No one says Dolce and Gabbana, they only say Dolce. It's that Dolce Vita lifestyle. She just goes, 2004 Dolce. And I was like, I don't know if this is gonna fit. Just like, I does Dolce. Yeah, and I was like, I don't know if this is gonna like fit just like I hope it fits You immediately like put it on you're like, yes. I'm a monster. Well, someone said they were like

Dolce is made for like Sophia Loren like they design it for voluptuous Italian women So she was like your body's actually perfect for it Like a model would have to like get it cut up and yeah She was like this was made for your body And I said bury me in this no literally and I showed up so many character energy to that roast you also Just like here's the other thing like about fashion When you're wearing something that like so feels you like it changes your whole Perception of things like so when people are like oh it doesn't matter what you're wearing something that so feels you, it changes your whole perception of things. So when people are like,

oh, it doesn't matter what you're wearing, you put too much pressure on it. No, it literally connects to your energy and you're different. So people were treating me with respect. No, because you were probably walking in, standing different, commanding a room different, because you're like,

I know that I fucking look so good, and I love this outfit. I love the fit. So nothing could go wrong. My mom literally called me, because I was like, why did they put me, and they put me in the Deadline article. Like, did you see that was Grace?

No, I thought Grace Photoshopped it in, and it was a bit. No, for real. I call my mom, I started dying laughing, I'm like, why did they do that? And she goes, I don't know, maybe. I was like, who hired Grace at Deadline for two weeks? Or like a giggler works at Deadline

It's a giggler Definitely, I never said that It would be hilarious if we swapped Kim and Hannah I genuinely feel like the gigglers are all around the country just like pranking us with certain shit They're like wait till they see this they're gonna die laughing It's like we can't have our faces on a strip club like But it's giving a luminati. No it is.

So I call my mom and we were laughing about it and she goes, well this is what happens when you invest like time and energy into your outfit and your makeup. No, that is the most mom shit. And I was like, okay thank you. Okay I'm trying really hard out here, like I'm tired and I'm like trying to like, I have a lot going on, but like thank you. Thank you, mom. I'm trying really hard.

She's like, you're doing good, but just remember, you can always be better. But she is, it's so funny. I feel like her moms use each other against each other. I don't, but I, because Kim, I know Kim is rooting for me, where my mom will be like, Paige puts effort every week into how she looks yeah Paige has time off You know she does she invests it in herself and you see the results of it my mom

My mom literally hit me the other day with that one of the most diabolical sentences I did something and she just straight face looked at me and she goes you're a lot like your dad and she just straight face looked at me and she goes, you're a lot like your dad. And I was just like. Wait, that's the meanest thing I've ever heard. No, I literally looked at her and like at first I was like, because my dad is like the nicest guy ever, like truly the most empathetic, the most compassionate.

But he's not running the show. He's not running the show. But at any moment he can just be like, fuck you. Like he will switch at any moment. Not like, oh he's insane, but like if someone does something then he can switch. Don't take my kindness for weakness, very disorbo. So my first reaction was like, oh thank you. And then I was like, fuck you.

I was like, what the fuck does that mean? How can you compare me to a man? No, and I thought, I've thought about it every day since. I'm like, what did she mean by that though? It's so funny, cause last week I was feeling myself and I was like, I know people say I'm a lot like dad, but like, let's be honest. I'm like you, and she's like, you are?

And I hung up, I've never, it was the nicest compliment I've ever gotten, I was like, my mom's out of my room. No, there is like, sometimes there will be moments with your mom where you're both like, just girl, both being just like girls, and like your mom will say, like I'll say something to my mom, like that I'm afraid of or scared of, and I'm like, well, what would you do?

And she'll say like, oh my God, you're so much smarter than me anyway, or like stronger, or like, why are you even worried? And in that moment, you're like, oh, we, you're so much smarter than me anyway, or like stronger, or like, why are you even worried? And in that moment, you're like, oh, we're just like girls. We're just girls hanging. Yeah, literally. Doing taxes and putting yourself on a budget is one of the scariest things ever,

and that's why I make my mom do it. And when she was going through my taxes, I said, OK, put me on a budget, and anything that I don't need to be paying for, let's just get rid of it. And the amount of subscriptions that I forgot about that I was paying for double subscriptions, that's why you need Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million

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feel free to share your promo code with your friends. You'll both be rewarded. If you have leftover data at the end of the month, it rolls over so you can use it next month. You paid for it, so you can keep it. And you are also rewarded for just being there. The more you stay, the more you are rewarded and the less you pay. You can earn free data and dollars off. You can also give your data to any other Fizz members. Try the other side or data to any other Fizz members. Try the other side or switch to Fizz, creator's choice. So I get to the after party. I'm trying to think of the tea.

I mean, Shane Gillis is hanging out with, like in the corner with like Dave Chappelle. Dave is smoking a cigarette. I love that Dave does not abide by any smoke laws like anywhere like I'm pretty like 1995 I think it was like a law you can't smoke anywhere Dave was like not me even cancer. He's like no no unsubscribe unsubscribe Block so they're there and then Tom Segura actually came up to me, said hi. And also, so I'm best friends with Andrew Collin,

who wrote some jokes, shout out, for Nikki on the roast. Which we didn't even. Nikki, I mean they really, they had only a two women on stage. And that was a lot of pressure for her. She was so incredible and also the women are so over prepared. She's done these so much. She was, I know all the guys were like practicing their set,

but I just knew that she was going in with like a vengeance. Like she had an extra chip on her shoulder. And then like throughout the whole rest of the roast, a lot of the other guys were like falling asleep. Like you couldn't see it, but they were like, okay. Nikki is sitting there laughing, high-fiving Jeff Ross. She's in it. She's working.

That bitch is working for her check. And it's just so great for people to see how fucking amazing she is. Even that small difference with men and women, men can sit there. Like, who's next? I sure we were joking was literally reading the teleprompter with his mouth lying there and reading it out loud and laughing With her he like dragged her yeah and her to sit there for four hours. In her tiny dress.

Your shoulders must have hurt so much. She also looked really good. And that's not important, but when she walked in, I kept trying to mouth, I said, you look beautiful. No, she looked so good. She definitely, no idea what I was saying. She was like, what? Yeah.

But. Also her hair color is the perfect blonde right now, I think. Yeah, so she didn't know something about it. She's just like, she's glowing. Yeah. And also shout out to Nikki, because when I was on the come up, she literally took me around to spots in Manhattan,

like at the stand in the cellar. Like imagine. Stop. She was your mentor. So she's my mentor. She's literally what we say, like girls need to help girls who are like in the same profession. She literally was like, do you want to just come to some spots with me?

And I just followed her around, asked her like the dumbest questions and she answered it all. And it just felt like so it makes it feel touchable and tangible. Yeah. So shout to Nikki. So you're here with Nikki. Then Gronk is just like talking to everyone. I went up to him and I was like, you're actually very smart. And he just was like, thank you. And I was like, Oh God, that didn't go very well.

Wait, I love, he was like one of the best parts of the show. Well, cause he was so gronk. He was being so gronk. Like, and every- If he wasn't like that, people would have been upset. And the funniest part about it was like everyone that was making jokes about him all night long, you're like, oh my god, wait That's so funny. That's like blah blah blah Then he gets up and says one word and you're like wow

You just made everyone else's joke so much funnier because you are exactly what they described I could see the teleprompter He went off the teleprompter for like two minutes to point they gave Kevin Hart the mic to be like maybe You got a real man Yeah, that's the thing why the roast also was so impressive cuz like we knew it could have been a complete shit show Yeah, and somehow it just wasn't. Kevin Hart did a great job like keeping the flow Yeah, that had to have been so hard. He's such a talented professional host. Side note. Oh, yeah Who do you think was the funniest? I thought was the most attractive. Guy up there?

Mm-hmm. Who do I think you thought was the best looking guy up on the stage? Like who would I be into? Oh my God. Not to make it about me. I would say, I know who I would pick. Besides Bill Belichick who was so funny.

Literally imagine going around a party. I think you're going Tom or Gronk. Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe. Fuck, I forgot he was on this! He's such a daddy. His voice was so low, I met him afterwards. He's huge.

I was just talking to his belly button. And funny. And also, he's the guy who, do you know the story of Drew Bledsoe? Yeah. He's the fucking, everyone needs to watch it. You're the sports podcast. He's the star.

His joke when he talks about his 30th wedding anniversary, that's so good. That is funny. That was so good. So he is the star, they call it the franchise quarterback, they're paying him millions and millions of dollars. He gets completely obliterated, his knees like falls off. Yeah. He's in the hospital. His knee was like, I quit, box off.

His knee was like, I'm gonna cut myself. And then, so then they throw Tom in, this young quarterback, and he's like, does okay, does better, next thing you know, they're like doing really well. Drew Bledsoe finally is hailed and is like, what's up guys, I'm ready to like, go back, I'm getting paid 10 million dollars

to be the star quarterback, and they, Bill Belichick goes, actually Tom's gonna stay in. So he lost his job because he got injured and Tom became great and then he got traded off. But he showed up to the roast to be like, that was the hottest thing. I love a guy who is actually, can laugh at himself. And it's almost more of an ick

that Tom won seven Super Bowls. It's gross. Drew is like, stronger. Not that I'm won seven Super Bowls. It's like gross. Like Drew is like stronger. Not that I'm just like, I'm not just like blindly like, oh, I hate men. Like sometimes yes, but like this was one of those moments where I was just like Tom Brady's literally giving me the ick. Also when Bill Belichick went on, the way he changed the way he was sitting, like he literally turned to him and was like,

Daddy, Daddy, love me, Daddy. It was so funny. I thought I was convinced at the very, very end, like before Tom got up, that Giselle was just gonna walk out. There was murmurs that Giselle was there. If they were in a better spot personally, I think that would have been the funniest thing. Like if they were actually cool with each other,

and she walked out and was like, now I'm actually gonna roast you, and it's just like. Yeah, they're definitely not there. But also the fact that he got mad at the Robert Kraft massage joke, but then didn't care that everyone just ripped on his wife. Yeah, didn't give a shit.

The whole time. Yeah. But Robert Kraft... Was that when he got up and said to Jeff Ross, like, don't say that again? Not that off. That made me, that gave me the ick. From the live audience, we didn't catch it.

Like... Interesting. It was not picked up to like, we didn't hear it at all. I just know that Jeff Ross afterwards was like kind of apologizing to him and Kevin Hart called him a little bitch, but we didn't, when I heard. I just know that Jeff Ross afterwards was like kind of apologizing him and Kevin Hart called him a little bitch. But we didn't, when I heard the audio I was like, okay. Yeah.

Cause it wasn't like that in the crowd. Also, Robert Kraft was like dying laughing. He was at the after party. What was the joke even mean? Cause Robert Kraft, it's like just a fact that he got in trouble because he like paid for a happy ending massage. Happy ending. Oh.

Fight a nickel. No, literally fight massage. Oh, fight a nickel. No, literally fight a nickel. Literally fight a nickel. And that man has a lot of nickels. Yeah, I'm sure that's not the worst thing he's paid for, sexually. Come on. So yeah, I saw Andrew Schultz at the after party.

And like, it was just all very fun. Yeah. And I'm like, this has been amazing these two days. So I get home and when I was getting my hair and makeup done, you know when there's just like chaos in the hotel room? I get back, can't find my charger, which is like a literal nightmare. I'm in a foreign land, no charger.

I'm scared, I'm alone. And I have to be up at 6 a.m. for this charity golf tournament. What? Just wait. So there's 4% of my phone, so I put on airplane mode, I freak out, I somehow wake up in time, I charge it in the Uber, I get there and they're like, look, everyone's just here to play golf,

no one's trying to get interviewed, but if we get some interviews, fine, just let's see what happens, no pressure. Are you playing in it? So somehow I, yeah. I am playing in it also. I ended up just playing with Jared Freed the whole time. They were like, go play and network with new people.

I was like, hey Jared. He was like, we've known each other for eight years. I was like, hey. We had so much fun though, but like. We probably had so much gossip to catch up on. We had so much, shout out to Jared. I had so much fun playing with you. Like actually I'm so happy I played with you

and not someone else, cause I would've like embarrassed myself saying something stupid. So I'm standing there. Jared made a Justin's peanut butter cup joke, and I don't know why, I just like never forgot it. And like it just like really stuck in my head. Jared loves a food joke.

He loves a food joke. Me and him were eating peanuts. It was just really fun. So they go, Kat Williams coming. I did not think Kat Williams would be the first one to show up at the golf charity event. I did not take him as a prompt. Nothing's not prompt.

I just didn't see if- Punctual man. I did not see, like, I think he like, the night before had his like, Special. His. Special, or like, I don't know, I just didn't even think he was gonna show up. And they go, Cat Williams is here. So I'm interviewing Rory Scoville, who's my favorite person,

and Cat Williams is just watching. And apparently they, like, he was like, what's all this about? Yeah. And, like, he wasn't sure if he wanted to get interviewed. Yep. Don't know what happens, next thing you know, he's walking towards me. And I was like, what's all this about? And he wasn't sure if he wanted to get interviewed. Don't know what happens next, you know, he's walking towards me. And I was like, I trained my whole life for this.

I felt like a calmness. I looked this motherfucker in the eye and I said, Kat, your Every Day I'm Hustling beginning to a standup special was the greatest start of a standup special and you inspired me to do comedy. He immediately lights up, like happy. Because at the end of the day, he's a man, and all you gotta do is compliment him one time.

But I would also argue, Cat Williams is a girl's girl. Cat Williams is, he's gossiping. He's conspiring. He's taking people down. He's like, whatever, I'll say it. He's a girl's girl. He's the girlfriend that is like, whatever, I'll say it. He's a girl's girl. So I was like, this is- He's the girlfriend that is like, whatever, I'll text him and ask.

Literally. And I want to work towards that every single day to be that. Like, whatever, I don't give a fuck, I'll text him. So, and he also came with a fit. Like, he put thought into his fit. So the first question I have is to go, Cat, what was your inspiration behind this album today? Yeah, what's the journey? And he basically waits like eight seconds before answering.

And I'm like, OK, this isn't going great. Like literally give me anything. So he's like, but he's like, he thinks before he speaks. And then he starts going, and I think I start giggling. And next thing you know, I'm like, we're riffing. And then he starts singing some song, because I was like, how do you relax or something? He starts singing, I start singing with him.

He calls us Ebony and Ivory. I sang with him for like multiple minutes. And then finally I asked like, what's your least favorite golf rule? And he starts going on this whole rant about like, well rules are made up, rules are this thing. Like just talk about rules. And I'm like, you have to go for it.

Like I felt like there was a moment there. I just go, why do I feel like you don't know any golf rules with the way you answered that question? And he pauses and everyone is like, tense. Did he laugh? He goes- Wait, I watched the video. I know.

He goes, it takes a genius to know a genius. And then I just calmly look at the camera and go, Cat Williams just buried me. And he starts doing this hilarious dance. Everyone's clapping. It was like the greatest moment of my life. This is the first interview. Did you call your dad and tell him?

Well, I walk off and I go, Guys, let's leave. Yeah, no, we got it. There's nothing else for us to do here. There's nothing for us to do here. We got the shot. Jared can hit by himself. Jared doesn't fucking need me. Like, I'll leave Jared for dead. I'm leaving. We got the shot. Jared can hit by himself. Jared doesn't fucking need me.

Like, I'll leave Jared for dead. I'm leaving. I'm going home. I have to find a charger for my phone. No! You know, my phone is rapidly dying and I'm pretending I'm a professional. Women, literally, the craziest thing can be happening to us and we can just sit, literally Kim Kardashian

who was rude in front of 20,000 people and she sat there with a smile on her face like we could be bleeding from our vaginas and we're just something could be going on but in the back of your head your phone's dying. But we're the emotional ones. No but we're crazy. We're the crazy. We're crazy. You know how badass to be for us to actually go crazy? No. Don't tempt me. Don't tempt me. So I'm like we're done. Then they go, oh um Will Ferrell's here. No. So I told everyone I go, Kat Williams was my North Star, I'm done. Then I go wait wait wait, actually Will Ferrell's also my North Star. Like a true girl. He was my, like on the pod I said. He would be your number one. He's your, you love him.

Give me a chance, or what is it called? What are the Gen Z's doing? Hear me out. Hear me out. Yeah. Will Ferrell, when I say this man is an angel, an angel among us, first of all, is making him giggle. Yeah. I feel like he is also one of the girls.

He's a girl's girl. Yeah. And then at the end, like I'm very like, I want to do the interview quick, and then I'm like, get out there, sorry for wasting your time, please leave. Healy just stands there and he goes, are you playing? And I'm like, I can't handle this.

No, he's just chatting up. Yeah, and then of course I'm like, I was a tennis player, you know? And he's like, oh, my wife loves tennis, what's your opinion on pickleball? Next thing you know, we're having a very- And you're in a league together, and you're like, how did we get here?

But you know when you have small talk with people throughout your life and then like you're having small... No. I try to avoid it at all times. But like pickleball is a very standard small talk conversation for tennis players. So I'm having like a normal small talk conversation with Will Ferrell and he's just so fucking crazy.

No, that's... Because I actually don't ever remember him ever being like normal. Like he's always doing a bit. Yeah And he was like, yeah Right, like even him coming out on the roasts like he was doing a bit on top of a bit Yeah, I think that my layers of so many layers. He's a genius Yeah, so that happens and I'm like how is today this more like I never thought a morning would be a good experience for me

But I'm experiencing the best morning I've ever had. Then Charlie Day comes out, I made fun of his mustache. You know Charlie Day from Always Sunny? Yes. I make fun of his mustache. You could tell it was like too early for me to do, like he was like, okay, like he's a nice man. He's like, okay, we're just trying to play golf

for the kids. Yeah, and I literally was like, what's with the mustache? He's like, this is a charity lady. He was like, what? And then he was like, actually it's for a role. And I'm like like what's with the mustache? He was like what? And then he was like actually it's for a role and I'm like let's say you're the only answer. Yeah that someone could give. Like mine would be like military. I'm like that's not a role that you need to have a mustache if you're in the military. They love to say it's a role. I've never heard someone say it. No they always go for the military. I think it's because they can't have a beard, so they just go with the mustache

and they blame the military. Just go to therapy. Talk about your mom. Let it out. Then I met Blake Griffin. Oh. You know what? Shier than I thought.

Like, shier, sweeter, not like a big, loud personality. Very sweet and funny. Yeah. He used to go out in the city. I would see him out a lot. Oh. I never talked to him, though. He. I would see him out a lot. Oh Never talked to him though. He's he's kind of like laid-back Yeah, um, you know, he's not laid-back David Spade. Yeah. No, I could see that my new best friend

He was hilarious like David Spade and our friends now did you guys exchange numbers? Did you see anyone on the plane going or coming there? On the plane, I saw the woman from... Oh, God. Wait, I said it. Lipinski. Tara Lipinski. Oh, the actor from T-Mobile, Verizon. No. But that was at Air One.

The one from... There was one on the plane. Me? When anyone asks me a question. And then I open the maybe, yeah. Me in any professional setting ever. Oh god, I'm trying to figure out if there's any other people. I met Bill Burr who was like angry at 9 a.m. So on brand. Well, what you were missing in New York City while you were like out living your freaking life.

Sorry, I'm still name dropping. I'm not done name dropping. I don't know if you saw, but New York City made a portal, which is basically a video chat call with Dublin. Dublin? Did you say that in Ireland? Some giggler out there is like how many to see does his other family? They've already closed it shut down it's over people showing their dicks a Girl got a flash your tits. Yeah, and they were like which side And I just like I didn't know that can't have anything nice. This is why we can't have nice things. And I just like-

Wait, I didn't know that, it's gone. It like just happened like yesterday. They were like, and we're done with that. That was a great- Some kid in Dublin's just like cry. Mommy? No, but like the thing that I was like, was really annoying me, I was like, first of all,

I blame, you know me, I blame everything on the mayor. Like, even if it has nothing to do with the mayor, I'm just like, what? Why the fuck do we need a Zoom 24-7 with Ireland? Of all places, like what, like, what's going on in Ireland that like... Also, it's literally like chat roulette. No, I'm like, stop calling it a portal, you're freaking everyone out. You're freaking everyone out. It's a literal Zoom that's probably gonna end in 45 minutes because those timers are really finicky.

Shout out whatever girl showed her tits. Can you DM us? It was like a like OnlyFans girl. Oh, so she's professional. Yeah, no. She was like, no, I actually know how to do it right. It wasn't just some drunk girl at brunch. She was like, sorry. She's like, actually, you're supposed to go right then left. You're doing it all wrong.

But also, with our tax dollars, is that... Do I have to really see more double fuck boys? That's what's really pissing me off. I'm like, who built this fucking portal? Then I did After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson. Wait, I watched it the other morning. I literally, I'm a fricking mom. You're a stage mom.

I'm a stage mom. Well, Paige and I have these weird moments where I'll just text her when I just get a weird vibe, a good vibe, but just wanna be like, hi. I think I said hi, I miss you chicken. Yes. And you were like, I'm literally watching your videos right now.

I woke up early because I was having anxiety, shout out. And so I'm sitting on the couch by myself, trying to just fricking meditate. So I'm like, I know what I need. Trying to process one emotion. I'm like, I need to see Hannah. So I'm like, oh, Hannah's episode. Wait, I'm your comfort person. Yeah, so I'm like, I need to see Hannah. So I'm like, oh, Hannah's episode. Wait, I'm your comfort person.

Yeah, so I was like, I'll put that on. Like, I'll watch that. The background. It's light, it's funny. Won't have to think too hard. Won't have to think at all. It's like, she's here, I'll be fine. And it was so funny.

And Brandon, I know. Kyle, BKG. He's very funny. So funny, so nice. I was nervous, because I'd never Kyle. BKG. Yes. He's very funny. So funny, so nice. I was nervous because I'd never done a show like that. I also haven't been allowed to be on a cable show in years. I don't know how that... They let me back on that.

They were like, just after midnight, she could go on. So I wore Miu Miu for you. Wait, that's what I wanted to say. You looked phenomenal. Thank you. But the most embarrassing thing is, at each commercial break, after the first break break like showrunner guy comes up to me and goes hey Can I grab you live was alive? No, no. Yeah, but he was like, can I grab me for a second?

Yeah off takes me off the stage and I go I'm fired again And cuz he definitely seemed like he was being awkward about, where I'm like, did I say something? And he pulls my side and he goes, hey, you have a little, I'm like what? You're sweating. I'm sweating. So he pulls my side and he goes, can we just blow dry?

And I was like, yeah, you literally scared the fuck out of me. I thought I was fired. And he's like, no, no, no, you're just, we're just, you're sweating. I go, I don't care if I'm sweating. I'll hold my hands down. He goes, well let's blow dry. They were like, we care.

We care. They were like Oh, yeah, we care Shall we have to uphold some kind of we care about a static? Yeah, so they literally take me side blow drying me everyone's waiting for me to be blow-dried up like a fucking They put me back in But I think it's like it was cuz it was a game Like I got I wasn't nervous at all. I was like Well, actually I was trying to not be competitive. I really was trying I was like This is art. Well because it's a game show but like not really. Well they told me the first thing they say they go This is not a real game show and I go that's what people say. Yeah, well they don't want you to win

That's what they say when they want you to be destroyed. They go don't worry. It's for fun. That's what they say That's what losers say. Yeah, so then they pulled me off again Blow-dried me again, and I realized you got blow-dried twice and Taylor is like waiting for me Yeah, then they pull me aside. They take out these like pads and I go this is me me You can't just like stick a pad onto the me me. Oh, and they were like wait Hannah If they literally put I'm so happy that you on my me me you were like, no, no, this is me. High heels on my teeth. You were like, what is that?

Don't change them on it, that's how I'm feeling. Period pads on my pitties. Period pads on my pitties. Okay, name of the episode, period pads on my bitties. Put it on my tombstone. I feel like Nicki would be so proud. They put it on my Memeo. And I was like, can I text Paige?

I don't know if this is legal. I was like, I think this is illegal. I think there's a stylist that just died somewhere. That's how it works. The fashion community is very mad at me already. And I'm literally on the edge. So I end up having these period pads in my arms. But it was so funny because I'm chill,

but like, I'm chill, I'm like, you're not being competitive or weird, like you're not freaking anyone out. I love the classic, don't be weird, you're not being, the conversation in your own head where it's like, you're not being weird, you're being cool, just continue that, don't be weird. Like it's a weird inner monologue.

Do you know when you're a competitive person, when someone, and it's not like, I'm not even competitive with other people, it's more like I'm competitive with myself because I have PTSD that like people will be disappointed with me if I lose. Oh God. So I'm standing there and I'm like,

no one cares if you want to lose, this is a game, it's stupid, this has nothing to do with your self worth. And I'm literally like, don't show anyone like no one cares if you want to lose, this is a game, it's stupid, this has nothing to do with your self worth. And I'm literally like, don't show anyone that you have a crazy winning, like competitive side. So I'm so chill, and I'm like down by like a thousand, I was getting a score. And then the last round, she's like,

okay we're doing a speed round, and everything is 500 points, and immediately I'm like, something came over me, I couldn't hold her back anymore, I was like, beep beep beep beep. I was like pretending like I couldn't click the button the whole show immediately I'm like, something came over me, I couldn't hold her back anymore. I was like, beep beep beep beep. I was like pretending like I couldn't click the button the whole show. I was like, oops.

You're like, sorry, mine's broken, I don't know why. I'm just trying to make sure it's not stuck. Oh, did I win again? That's crazy. No, the whole time, every time I got it, I'd be like, oopsie, I didn't even wanna answer. And then this last round, I go every fucking second. And like, Brandon and Heather were looking at me like me like oh now you know how to click the button

I was like I got like 4,000 points, and I was like thank you No, that's every girl on a first date. I don't know how to read the menu and then like three dates And you're like everything you're gonna change about yourself if you want this to work And I was like kind of scared like at the end they're like where the fuck that come from I don't know I don't know her I was trying to suppress her. Did you win win? Yes. Yeah. I won. They so funny she gave me um a Skipping rock because it's like a fake game show Yeah, and they give me the rock and I'm like, this is funny They walk up stage when the producers like puts his hand out for me to give him back the rock. I go

It's my trophy. He goes do you want to keep the rock ago? Yeah, I want to yeah I want to fucking keep the rock. And he's like, okay. And I'm like, don't fucking take my trophy away, you sick fuck. I'm a winner. Wait, that's, they're like, the props department actually needs this.

PBS sent a really weird email like tomorrow. They're like, we think there was a mix up. Then I called Des and he goes, I go, hey babe, and he goes, called does and he goes I go. Hey, babe He goes did you fucking win? I go. Yeah, he goes. Oh my god It's like Jesus Christ like you never learn your lesson. No one cares. That's my husband He goes, oh my god you owe you how to win. Wait, I love when you say husband It always like freaks me out. So crazy. No, it's so crazy. So crazy. I'm like your boy

Well people how's your husband and I'm like shut the fuck up. And it's not cuz I'm like obviously like trying to be single around town it's just like not good for the brand. It's not the vibe. Literally someone called in on burner phone last week they're like hey so I'm married ew. It doesn't, I heard dying laughing like it's no like it's so- No, it's like, stop. It's literally like, we can be, but like don't tell people. Don't fucking say it out loud. Yeah, like it's so weird. Also, I feel like weddings are changing.

Where like, everyone should just be getting like a small intimate gathering where you look super hot with a photographer. Like, let's- We need small intimate gathering merch. I mean, it needs to happen. We're working, you guys, we're working on a change in the merch. No, sorry about our merch.

This is the thing about the merch. We are switching companies currently. How many times do we need to say merch? We're switching companies for our merch, because as you know, Paige and I, mostly Paige, takes fashion very seriously. And we are very excited. Yeah, and our merch company literally just tried to bring us into the Illuminati. And we were like, no, takes fashion very seriously. And we are very excited. And our merch company literally just tried to

bring us into the Illuminati. And we were like, no, we can't go. We have to leave you guys. So look out for a new merch drop. I know it's been years. Then I did shows. And then, oh, I interviewed some Love is Blind cast. How were they?

They were great. Because they're just like- Of the most recent season? I think it was a combination, but there was the Jimmy guy. Which was funny. I didn't watch it, because I can't watch reality tv. It makes me have agita. But everyone says it was amazing. I said on this podcast that I think Jimmy looked like a thumb.

So that's awkward. I may. I may not. I'm going to post the video soon. He was very southern.'s like he's southern So like they're just silly They're silly. I had no idea. That's definitely a word for them. Oh, I went to Kevin Hart's Production companies brunch. Oh, sorry. We forgot about it. Sorry For what and how was that? Well, I was like I saw Kevin Hart

Twice as we go ready. Yeah, they were were like do you want to come to his brunch? And I was like, okay. Honestly, the guy's everywhere. There was a giggler, I know, there was a giggler on his team. So the gigglers- Stop. So Kevin Hart's a giggler. The gigglers are so successful. And they're so beautiful.

No, like every time I meet a giggler I'm like you are gorgeous. Yeah. And I can tell when they're like a little more page than Hannah. Like page coded or not. This girl was actually page coded. It's so funny because when the Hannahs come up to me, that's the first thing they say to me. They're like, we get it, like we're not your vibe.

And I'm like, I didn't even say anything. We're at a bodega, I don't even know what's going on right now. My favorite is when the gigglers come up to me with two of them and one of them goes, she's my Hannah. And then there's some girl comes up like, hey. And I'm like, me and you girl. I just like the pretty, the pretty girly girl.

She like walks out from the bathroom. She's like, hey. And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect. Whoever has a slick back bun, I'm like your page. And they're wearing bows. Like it's actually like so. No, you can spot them in a second.

In a second. So yeah, the brunch was fun. I ran into Chelsea again. But this is where you have... Chelsea, I'm there. Sorry. You have to be careful. You don't want to overdo it, you guys.

What I've learned, end on top. Get a laugh, move on. Get a laugh, move. Always be moving. Get a laugh, move. Don't stay to see yourself become the villain. Yeah. That's what I've learned.

Go home before that. Go home. So I was hanging out with Harry Jowsey, who's just picked us up in an orange Lamborghini. Is he a real person? No, he's an AI Australian man, but honestly he's so fucking sweet and I've known him for years.

I saw him from a distance at the LA Fashion Awards. Huge. I think he was just at, like, it was at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think he just happened to be at the hotel. When I walked in, the first thing I thought was, who is that huge guy over there? Ginormous. And then I was like, oh, that's Harry Jossie. And I just was not expecting him to be massive.

Huge. But like, it was just so LA, like driving in a, I was like, can you even spell Lamborghini like where did how did this even happen? Yeah, it's orange. So we show up to Kevin Hart's like rental really successful from only fans right tail and People don't even know see it's so funny like Literally the Dublin portal got shut down because of a woman on only man. Just swinging He said he just shows his butt. That's what he said. And it was there. Oh yeah, I met Jeff Ross. I met Kevin Hart's photographer. He's my boy now.

What a crazy job. This guy travels around with Kevin Hart everywhere. And just takes pictures of him? At all times. No, I need that. Give me that guy's number. travels around with Kevin Hart everywhere. It just takes pictures of him? At all times. No, I need that. I go, hey, I will. He literally just is everywhere rolling and Kevin has like a huge. The amount of times I've thought, if I just had a fucking photographer at all times,

I'd always get the shot. Have you seen that Miss USA thing? No. Something weird's happening in the Miss USA universe. Miss USA stepped down. Oh. And these, usually like when someone steps down, like the second round, the first round or up,

like immediately takes the spot and like whatever. And usually people only step down cause like, I don't know, like insane things. Steps down, person, first first runner up doesn't accept it, says nope. Then Miss Teen USA steps down, first runner up says nope. Miss USA puts out a statement like that she's like stepping down. Now there's only like a couple months left in her term. So they're like, this is crazy. The first letter of every sentence of the statement she put out spelled out, I'm silenced.

And typically they run the social media account for themselves and you can see their real personality and whatever. And Miss USA put out a thing that will no longer be allowed. Someone from the company will run their social media like when they win So people are like that's weird and no one's saying anything. Wait so you're telling me the Miss Universe USA

Company is toxic. It's a scholarship program not a beauty pageant No, so we don't know what's going on. Even as a young girl, I did not support that shit. Pageants? Pageantry? I don't support it. And I know Miss Universe is like, oh, these are the smart ones. Look, the fact that we're raiding women, can we not?

No, pageants are... And I support women in the arts. For sure. If you're going to do it, win. I support women in the arts for sure like if you're gonna do it when I support you go off but like No, we saw what happened ever Kell like just don't You know what else we didn't talk about? I don't know why this just made me think of it gypsy Rose Blanchard doing a

Mother's Day video and just being like I'm allowed to feel how I Feel about my mom and on Mother's Day, I choose to think about the good times. Did someone come and go, what happened? Please explain. Storytime. Wait, storytime? 64 parts storytime. And people were just like, this is so insane.

But then other people were like, well, she is allowed to feel how she wants to feel. The woman did abuse her her entire life. And it's like, yes, but is allowed to like feel how she wants to feel. Like the woman did like abuse her her entire life. And it's like, yes, but she also plotted her murder. Like, and look, I think anyone- I kinda love that she's addressing it. I think it's weird if she didn't. Like being quiet on Mother's Day, that's fucking awkward.

At least say something. And look, if you abuse a child in any capacity, I think like automatic death penalty. Like I think this woman should be dead. Like for what she did to a child in any capacity, I think like automatic death penalty. Like I think this woman should be dead. Like for what she did to a child. Abuse is a very complex layered thing. And the woman birthed her and they clearly had great times together. And she was like, she's still my mom, which is like I get valid.

Like it is, there is a layer where you're like, okay, that's still like the woman who gave me life. But I was just like, what a... Get ready with me as I... As I describe how I plotted my mom's murder. Things that would send our forefathers into a literal coma. Gypsy Rose Wander talking about her mom's murder on TikTok. Can you spell Munchausen? Absolutely not.

It's giving German. Wait, it is, yeah. I love how I missed all this news because I was in La La Land. No, you're literally. That's what the Illuminati does. They don't let you see what's happening in the real fucking world. They distract you with celebrity and shiny things. I'm like, our portal is shut down.

No one's doing anything. How do we know it's happening in Dublin? Dublin. Also shout out, I am going, I do have shows in Dublin and London. I have a couple tickets left. Go for it. I don't know if this is my personality. I don't know if my mom was onto something when she said I was like my dad or if it's because I'm a Scorpio. But when I'm mad about something, it takes me two full... Years. Two full weeks, 10 business days.

A solid 10 business days. To get mad. To calm down. Oh, I love how I got everything wrong. To calm down. So if I'm mad on a Friday, you better believe that Monday, I'm still ripping, I'm still fuming.

See, I'm like never, as a Leo, I'm never mad. But then once I am, no one will, I will lose all the friendships because I will say the real shit and then I'll be fine after. It takes me so long to get mad. But then I'm there and I'm like, well, I'm not gonna waste waste it. Actually, who else needs a dressing?

I lied. I'm mad for the rest of my life. I'm mad for the rest of my life. Once I realize I legitimately am like, righteously mad, why would I un-mad myself? I did the reunion on a Friday. I'm going through the airport on a Tuesday. Told someone to fuck off. What did they do?

Pissed me off. What did they do? They pissed me off. They said, do you want oat milk or skim milk? Because I fuck you. Fuck you. First of all, let me just preface. We were at LaGuardia Airport,

so you can throw a fuck you out there anytime, any moment. That's like saying hello. There was this older woman like full on mom, but like older than that, who was like mad. She was behind me in line. She was like mad that I was in front of her in line and like didn't feel like I was doing the line correctly. Now I travel literally once a week.

I know the security line. I know how to get through the line. Thank you so much. I don't know a lot. I know how to get through a line. Thank you so much. I don't know a lot. I know how to get through a line. And that's a double entendre. So anyway, so she's like trying to say something to me and I literally don't even know what's going on.

Like I am like, wait. You're definitely not trying to talk to me right now. Yeah, I just like turned, I was like, what? Like I literally said, what? And she just like kept going that like I wasn't doing the line right now. I was just like, okay lady, it's Friday morning. I'm exhausted.

It's a full week later from the reunion. So I get through security, I get my bags off the belt and I'm walking by her to go to my gate and I could tell she's thinking of something up in her head to say to me. And I'm just like, lady, I don't give a fuck what you're about to say to me. And I could tell she's starting to say, I hope you me, and I'm just like, lady, I don't give a fuck what you're about to say to me. And I could tell she's starting to say like,

I hope you have, and I just look at her and I go, fuck you. And I keep walking. Wait, so she didn't even say anything yet? No. No, in the line she had started chirping me. I know, but for all we know, she was about to say. Apologize, she was about to apologize. She could have been apologizing.

For all we know, and I hit her with fuck you. And I walk by and I'm like, I feel lighter. I feel lighter. I immediately call my mom, because I'm like, wait what? I'm like, shh. Then you cry. I'm shaking. I go, mom, I just got into a fight with a lady.

It's the line of the important physical altercation. I tell my mom. I've been shot. I tell my mom the entire story, thinking like, oh my god, wait. Then I have anxiety. Like, was I wrong? Was I wrong? Was I in the wrong? I tell my mom the whole story. like oh my god wait then I have anxiety like was I wrong? Was I in the wrong? I told my mom the whole story my mom goes good for you

And I was like yep, and I knew it It's all you need is your mom being like you were right, and then I'm I'm gone I'm away from it. You need one friend to say exactly and you're like and that's it So I'll burn the guardia right down you read you just redid it that I'll burn the guardia right down. You just redid it. I'll burn it down. Shout out to my papa, my other grandpa, who I don't talk about enough because he's alive and loved my life. Alive and well gets no love.

Gets no love because he's a literal angel. Grandpa in heaven was like, wow, the gigglers love me. My current papa, he doesn't listen whenever it gets sexual or the fart stuff. We don't do that to Papa. He has to tell my Nana what we said, because she can't hear. So he actually is the ultimate giggler.

It's such a love story. My Papa is one of the funniest stories, because he's a tough guy from Brooklyn, right? And apparently he was walking the subway, apparently, and he tells a story about how he was like, I saw this guy and he was going to mug me. You know when you could just tell he's gonna mug me? No, Papa, but keep going.

He was walking to it, I could tell he was gonna mug me. He goes, so I just turned and I broke his fucking nose. And me and my brother were like, what if he wasn't going to rob you? You and your brother are five and you're like, Papa what? And Papa what? I'm like, Papa what? Papa what?

No, there are different rules in New York, because when I called Craig and told him that story, he goes, you said fuck you. I go, it's LaGuardia. You can literally, that's how we greet each other in the morning. If I were to do that to someone, I would then, they'd be sitting next to me on the flight They would be like they would be

I immediately on the phone with my mom. I was like wait. She looked like a bitch that would live in Charleston If she's on my flight good. I have more shit to say But she was No, so my papa this story is so crazy cuz he was so proud of himself He's like I can tell this motherfucker was coming for me. No, I'm proud of him. What if he just had like a long day at work, he's going home and he's so tired, he's about to see his family. That guy's version to his grandkids? Very different. Very different.

Very different. I was like, you broke his nose. Jesus Christ. He goes, then I had to get a rhinoplasty. I couldn't afford the surgery. I never got to go to college after that. He's like, and never make eye contact with an Italian. You're like, okay. And with that said, thank you for giggling with us. This is a journey. We have, we added second shows to a lot of the shows that sold out.

So if you were like, shoot, I missed it, go to our website right now, LazyTree.com. I don't know why you're gonna say WWW. Amanda, please talk on Gigs about a edu Wait, why are we not giggly squad edu? We could have probably bought that so cheap too Net like org It's so cheap too. Net, like, dot org.

It's probably illegal. Yeah. Okay, we'll talk to you guys later. We miss you so much. Bye! Bye!