Giggly Squad - Giggling about surprises, Super Bowls, and yelling

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Hannah confronts Paige about having other friends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marketers and advertisers, brands big and small. You've been after a special someone for a while now. You think they're into you. I mean, you share the same interests, both passionate about the same stuff. Why wouldn't they be? Wait, there's a moment of silence. It's finally just you two alone.

They're waiting. Go on, shoot your shot. You've got a voice, use it now. Hearts are racing, breathing becomes heavier. This've got a voice. Use it now. Hearts are racing. Breathing becomes heavier. This is your chance to win them over. So what are you gonna say? Get closer to your audience. Make podcast ads with Acast.

Head to go.acast.com slash closer to get started. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up my field goal, Gigglers? Wow. Did you watch the whole Super Bowl? You were at fashion shows. No, I was home by the time it was the Super Bowl. And yeah, I watched. I looked up occasionally.

I would say it's how I watched. I was like crazy focused just sitting there with butter. But this is- At one point I did think about your fantasy football team and then I was like, oh, but fantasy football would be over. It's over now, but I did have Patrick Mahomes and I don't want to get into it,

but they lost when I needed them to win. I'm not over it. But I'm living vicariously through your first fashion week, mid-year fashion week. Are the shows in the morning? Are they midday? It depends. Some of them are. Are they at night?

It's a total range. So there's no rules. There's no rules. Yeah, you could be going to a fashion show at 9 p.m. And New York is crazy because they'll just be in warehouses. Like Sally the point was just like on the street. Like a vacant, it was like a vacant storefront basically.

And they were just like, we're going to pull up a bus. And all the models got off of a school bus because it was like technically back to school themed. None of which the outfits were back to school appropriate, but that was like the vibe. You're like, you can't wear them, my Catholic school. It's like you can't wear no pants. Do you want to put out an emergency press conference

about your bangs? A lot of people thought they were fake, and I love that. Yeah. You go, I am fake, so I totally understand. The only thing fake about me is my bangs. Here's why I'm loving them, because when I got them cut, I haven't had I haven't not had hair and makeup since. So like I cut them right in the beginning of fashion week.

So I've been having looks. So I haven't actually even had to do them yet. So that's what I'm scared about. Because Mitchell obviously, he's a savant of hair. So he knows what he's doing every time. So we're easing in. So Paige has been very busy with fashion week, plus Amazon, plus just existing.

Oh, I have a little thing for the Giggler, just like a small housekeeping. So I did a style of Giggler on Amazon Live, and the Gigglers loved it, so I'm going to do it again. But this time, I want Gigglers to send me in videos of them that like I'll play on Amazon Live if they have like an event that they're going to and they have no idea what to wear, or like if they're just overall like what would you change about this outfit? Like certain little questions,

if they send in videos to Giggly Squad Instagram, I'll save them and then I'm gonna pick like five and do them on a live. It's just all Craig submitting. What should I wear to brunch with my boys? No, literally. Sometimes I'll think, like, I'll be living my normal life, and I'll think, oh my god, and some people do this,

plus have a baby. You know? And I'm like, that's crazy. So like, sometimes during the day, I'll be like, okay, would I have been able to get all of this done, and have a baby? Well, yesterday, Ludacris came out and naturally, every single millennial stood up and it came to us

like out of nowhere. Like I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, but I remembered every lyric to Ludacris first and yeah. And everyone's busied me like, oh my God, my kids and my husband were so scared. And I was like, I scared butter. No, it's... Then I was like, wait, that was such a good half time show. And then I went on the internet and I was like, I scared butter. No, it's... Then I was like, wait, that was such a good half-time show.

And then I went on the internet and I was like, oh, wait a minute, the kids didn't love it. Yeah, well, I didn't see the reaction. Gen Z people were not happy. Gen Z was a little annoyed. About what? They were like, we thought Justin Bieber was coming out. Okay, but that's not Usher's fault

that someone gaslit us to tell us that Justin Bieber was coming out. Also, once you saw Justin Bieber in the crowd, you should have known he wasn't coming out. Yeah, unless he was doing like a Lady Gaga like fly from the stands into... Also, I'm... This is so rogue. Don't say something mean about Justin Bieber. No, I'm not going to say something mean about Justin Bieber, but like, I... He wouldn't have fit in.

Like they kept it early, they kept it 2000s. Justin was too, like it wasn't. How about this, why don't we let Justin Bieber have his own Super Bowl? Yeah, let him have his own moment. Can we talk about your friend Hailey dyeing her hair dark? You know, I actually didn't even process that

cause so many people have been copying me lately. I can't like keep track. And I didn't wanna embarrass you, but I did see you came up with bangs. But it's not even just the bangs, it's how you styled them. And then I go, where did I see that? Where did I see that before?

And then if you look at my Netflix announcement, and you scroll to me as a child, it has the bang hanging the same way. So I crop it. I crop it. Did I send it to you, Grace? I sent it to Grace and I said, put this on the grid. No. And then I wrote the caption for her to you Grace? I sent it to Grace and I said put this on the grid. No.

And then I wrote the caption for her to write and I said, crazy, this is suspicious. No, it's funny because I texted Lenore and I was like, I have an event this Saturday and I'm loving the Minnie Mouse trend. If you could send that over, I'll have a messenger come pick it up. Everyone owned that dress.

Why did our moms all give us bangs as kids? It's so funny, because my mom is, again, the opposite of an almond mom, but she'll cut you right down. And I remember as a child growing my bangs out. And I was in eighth, ninth grade when I was like, okay, I don't know, I'm not having bangs anymore. And I remember distinctly her saying to me,

I don't know who told you you couldn't have bangs anymore. Your forehead's a little big. And it stuck with me for the rest of my life. And literally I was on my couch the other night and I was like, my hair is just like, it's so innovative. It's so new, no one's doing it. It's like so trendy. It's like, who am I?

And then I looked in the mirror and I said, you have that haircut in eighth grade. The funniest part though is we have to discuss Troy. No, we must. We must discuss Troy. Because Paige, we all know she's sneaky. I love a surprise. You love a surprise.

And I actually, people know this about me. I love getting surprised. You do? Because I'm dumb. Okay, good. actually, people know this about me. I love getting surprised. You do? Because I'm dumb. Okay, good. It is very easy to surprise me. Like, I am. I don't think I, this is the first time

I've ever surprised you, I think. No, because I think that people are like, oh, I like surprises. I hate that. I think surprises are the best gift. Because you had to plan it. You had to like make it inside joke. It was, okay.

It was, it's a bit, that's why you like it. It's a bit, that's why I like it. Yeah, you had to go along with the ruse. So Paige tells everyone on Giggly Squad I'm pretty sure. You're like, I'm coming to Troy, but then like weeks go by and you text me and you're like, mm, by the way, like I can't go Troy. I have Amazon live thing.

And our love language is not showing up for each other. Fysically, that's not our love language. It's not for us. For a second I was like, oh, I hope people aren't disappointed. They came to see Paige, and I have to be like Paige is in here. But I got over it very quickly,

and I was like, I just wanna make sure that Paige's mom has tickets. And like, so we were texting about something else. Yep. We were very organically randomly texting. Also, so you think. So I- You tricky little tricksthees.

So the night before, I'm on the phone with my mom and she's like, are you really not gonna come to Troy? Like how are you not gonna come when Hannah's performing? And I was like, I get done with Amazon Live at five o'clock. I would have to get in a car immediately and get there, because she was like, why don't you just get on the train? And I was like, I'd never make it on the train. So I was like, let me see if I can even do it.

So I booked a car to pick me up outside of Amazon. The one time Amazon Live is late, and I'm literally running out of Amazon. I have three bags, a big long fur, and I'm literally running out of Amazon. I have three bags, a big long fur, I have this like car waiting for me. I was like, oh my God, it manifested this. I get in the car and I'm like,

you don't understand, I have to be to this place before, I wanted to be there before you walked out on stage. The show started at 7.30, I think. So if I was there after you were out on stage, it would have been a waste. A full waste. So I I was there after you were out on stage, it would have been a waste. A full waste. So I'm in the green room. Also, this was my third city in a row.

And I'm just, you know, I've been napping. I take two naps when I'm on tour. I fly somewhere, I get somewhere, I fall asleep, wake up, then do a five o'clock nap, then get ready, head out to stage. So I don't know what's going on. And I'm sitting in the green room, and all these guys keep coming back

asking about people coming backstage. And I'm looking at Tracy, my feature being like, are what's going on? But like, I don't care. I'm just like, these people like are confused, whatever, if I had a nickel. So I texted Tracy and I was like, just a heads up, I'm coming to the show,

but Hannah doesn't know, but I'm gonna be late. I need you to tell whoever's working there that I'm coming in, they have to let me back immediately. So I'm literally working on my set, and the guy keeps being like, so how many people are coming backstage? And I keep being like, it's three. It's three people after the show.

Like, I don't know what the drama is. Because I made my mom tell you that she needed three tickets. But the third was for me, but you didn't know that you thought it was for Gary. Yes, but then I'm texting you and I was like, can Gary come in here? Ooh, last second he can't come.

And we literally were texting about something else. And Tracy's on stage and Tracy's wrapping it up. Like I know which joke is like her last one. And then I texted you and said, when do you go on? When do you go on? And I'm so dumb that I'm just like. You said in 10 minutes, I go, sir, we have five minutes. He had made a wrong turn, because I'm there.

I'm out front. That always happens. That always happens. Something like, they'll hit a person, like a pedestrian. They're like, I need to go. My parents were waiting on the corner. I jump out. We run in.

The giglers are like, some of stragglers are late giglers. We're like, oh my god, oh my god. And I was like, guys, I can't right now. I'm racing against the clock. I'm in my own amazing race right now. And I have to win. Meanwhile, I'm just chilling in the green room. I'm getting up.

I'm drinking my little Gatorade. I'm just getting pumping myself up. We didn't even film a lick of it. It didn't even run through my mind. I don't think I even took a photo with you. After it happened, I was like, well, that would have been so great for YouTube. I was a moment where I was like, I should take a photo with her. But I felt weird because we were talking with all your friends. I was in pictures of you and I was like, I'm not going to ask Page for a selfie.

It was such a... I'm sorry. Can I get a selfie? It's so nice to meet you. That was thank you for coming to my show. Can I get a selfie? I'm sorry, can I get a selfie? It's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. Thank you for joining my show. Can I get a selfie? So the funniest thing is so I get up, and I'm literally my own trying to be focused. And I'm walking towards the stage,

because I like standing there for like. And it's a long hallway. It's a long hallway. And you can't get there right before. You have to be like three minutes before the person is done just in case they jump off. So I'm walking. And see these like skinny little legs and these boots coming towards me and I'm like you're not registering you're not

looking up at my face you were literally walking past you. You're like this, what is this bit weird? It's a dark hallway and I was like there's a lot of people backstage. All you could just see was like a fur cuff and a fur collar just prancing toward you. So I fully walk past you and you're like, Hannah. And I look and then I like, I think I must have yelled. And then I was so impressed. Like, I love that you got something over on me.

And I was like, you made it. And we're like laughing and you have bangs and your mom's laughing. But in that moment, I do have to say, we realize that you're like epic, cool bangs. You have the same haircut as your mom. I looked at my mom literally at that moment and I go, they even wear it the same. I go, where have I seen that hair before?

So Kim literally is looking at you thinking you're not even the fart. No, literally. Says like my bangs are amazing. She's like, yeah, I've only had them for 20 years. We all become our moms at the end of the day. And I love how you tricked yourself to think like you got this inspiration from like out of nowhere.

When like Kim is just standing there. I see her every day on FaceTime. Kim was wearing the cutest little leopard heels with like an all black outfit. And I was like, I can't tell the difference between you two. So then we're- Well because- The night before she texts me randomly and she goes,

and make sure you wear a good outfit to Hannah's show. And I was like, literally felt like I was in second grade or something. I was like, I was gonna. like why'd you even say that? I already was gonna. So then I got stressed. Oh, so good outfit is so loaded. Like what do you mean?

Like were my other outfits not good? No, she's such a bitch. But the funny thing is, I then forget that I'm here for a show and I'm with Paige and I'm with Kim and Gary Sr. And we're gabbing and then the guys who have been stressed out the whole time are like, you have to go on. And I'm starting to hear the crowd clap.

So I turn and I full sprint onto the stage and I'm still hyped up because I just got bamboozled. I just got ashton-couchered. No, literally. So I was like trying to focus but the crowd was fucking unbelievable and Troy. And then I'm hoping because Tracy my opener Tracy Carnasso shout out. She's really fucking good at she's like a mom. Yeah, like she makes sure I'm always okay

Yeah, so I knew that she would tell you like this is when Hen is ending yeah, and we had a quick mom or else like do you want to do it look Q&A? So then you come on people lose their fucking mind Yeah, and I don't, before I go back, cause in the green room, like I could hear you and they have like a TV so like I could see you. So I'm like, I'm trying to listen to him like my parents and Tracy are talking and I'm like,

you're like, I came all the way from Amazon. So I'm listening and I'm dying laughing. And my dad looks at me and he goes, you just love her so much. Oh wait, that's how he talks too. I was like, yeah, she's my friend and she's funny. Can you pipe down?

No, my favorite though is I poured my heart and soul out there for a full hour. Page comes out, people lose their mind and then they're tagging us be like, Hannah, Page Amazing Show. No, Hannah. Then at one point Hannah was like, okay, Paige is gonna do 10 minutes and she started acting like she was walking off the stage. I felt like my mom was leaving me at school for the first day. I quickly started walking behind you. I was like, do not leave me out here.

My favorite thing is Paige comes out and there's always a stool on stage. She's like, put your water or like she fully shappeled it and just sits down and she's like how do you stand up here for an hour? She walks on sits on the stool because when I first go out onto stage like for Giggly Squad This is something niche that no one knows my whole body is shaking So like my arm is shaking so I can't hold the microphone with one hand. I have to hold it for the first five minutes with two hands. So being out there and not having a chair, I was shaking. So I had to like lean against something because first of all, it's way different being out there by yourself.

Yeah. That's like, that's masochism. I'm mentally ill. No, I have mental illness. No. Stand up comediansians wanna really feel shit. Because that's a feeling unlike, that's a nervous feeling unlike anything else. Talk about stage fright, like that's- But it's crazy, and I talk about this,

I get nervous over the stupidest situations. Like I won't go into like an H&M, cause it scares me or like a boutique store because I don't want people to talk to me and be like do you want to buy that like I can't handle that but for some reason I'm my most calm when I like have a microphone and a thousand girlies just like let's talk shit but I really feel my shows I really feel like I'm FaceTiming my friends yeah like well because you can't see anything. You can't, it's black.

You can't, I was, I said, you can't see a thing out here. It's the lightest completely. So I'm talking to myself for an hour. And the sweat that was dripping from the back of my neck, like I, no, it's crazy. And it's so much fun, but like when you're on the road so much, I go from literally being asleep to in 30 minutes, the most adrenaline you'll ever have.

So it's very like, I'm very either really on or really off, but that was like such a great surprise. And then you just jump in the car with us and drive back that night and we had so much fun. So much fun. And I said to my mom, I was like, you know, it would be really nice if you made us something to eat, like on the car ride back.

And she was like, okay, well, what do you, what do you want? And I said, chicken parmint pasta. And she goes, how are you going to eat chicken parmint pasta in the car? And I said, try me. First of all, don't challenge us. Try me. We'll make it a whole reality show. The shit that I've eaten in Ubers, that's why my Uber rating's bad, because I'm eating

like a full, like head of a pig in the back seat. At any moment, there's a turkey panini in your back pocket. So she was like, I'm not making chicken parmint pasta. It's going to be too hard to eat. So she got a subs and pasta salad and chips. So we had a party. And we literally had a picnic. We had a party.

It was so much fun. We talked the most shit. So much shit. It was cathartic. I felt like I purged and threw up. It's fun to talk shit with a third person who's really not invested, but great banter. That's how I feel about my therapist.

I'm like, how invested are you in this? Let's just talk shit for a minute. Because Tracy has great opinions, but you know at the end of the day, she's not biased, she's not trying to convince usces of something so we're like Tracy are we like wrong about this yeah I mean let's be honest she agreed with everything we said marketers and business owners you've been pining after a certain someone your jobs on the line you're desperate for them to like you back here's a word of

advice for me talking Talking is hot. Just you and them, finally alone like us two right now. Maybe under the duvet or at the back of the bus. Headphones on, one on one. Podcast advertising is proven to be one of the best ways to catch their attention, so surprise them while they're tuned in, while the moment's right. Say a line or two that really gets them going. Next time, if you wanna win over your special someone

and build some brand love, experiment with something new, just focus on your voice. Advertise on more than 100,000 podcast shows with ACAST. Head to go.acast.com slash closer to get started. Lifelong best friends and comedy superstars, Mae Martin and Sabrina Jalees share the mic to discuss all things sex and relationships.

A hilarious, bold and unapologetic conversation on timely topics like parenting, polyamory, money and gender. These are conversations you can only have with your best friend. Benefits with friends starring Mae Martin and Sabrina, Jalees, listen now on Audible. Also last night, I was trying to go to bed at like a decent hour, it was like midnight.

And I had one of those New York moments that I loved so much. I was like, I'm going to bed early, it's midnight. But I was cuddling with me. And I start to hear drilling. No. And I'm like, that's illegal. And I start to hear drilling. No. And I'm like, that's illegal. Like I don't know a lot of rules.

But I know that's illegal. They're only allowed to do like 8 AM, which is fucked up. It's like eight to like five or so. There's like rules or the city would be like. I think it's nine to four. Yeah, there's rules or it would sound like Oppenheimer all the time. So I'm hearing drilling and I go

Am I having a mental break? Not gonna lie though It has been me a few times like if I want to hang a picture and it's 2 a.m. And I'm like true. I do do my best work it I feel like this would look great on this wall now. Yeah, but it's like the one time I'm trying to sleep at midnight and I I go like, okay, is someone out here just like drill? Like what did they think? So it goes on like a little too long where I'm like, do I have to be that person that calls 3-1-1?

Cause 3-1-1 is supposed to be like, it's not an emergency, but like you're annoyed. Yeah. I go, hey. Someone's Italian mother is, should like, we should just make a 3-1-1 and it should just be all Italian moms who answered the phone. You're like, I'm actually trying to vote about it early

and they're like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I'll talk to them. Put them on the phone. Let me see what I can do. So it's not an emergency, but it's annoying. That's what it's like. Yeah.

Information. Yeah. So I'm like, I was already falling asleep and I don't like to get up when you're like kind of falling asleep So I'm like do I have to call 3-1-1. Yeah, and then have you ever called 3-1-1? No So in that moment I have one those New York like do I there has to be someone else who's gonna call through on one Yeah, no, I don't know where I just hear a guy yelling going shut the fuck up And then it goes silent never heard from him again

I love this state. I love this city. And if someone is listening, be like, Hannah, that's abrasive. New Yorkers, they just are there. Like, I don't need someone, no offense, I don't need someone from the Midwest coming down and be like, oh yeah, so you know, I'd really like to sleep right now, okay? No. Shut the fuck up. Get the job done. Who needs 311? Because New Yorkers cut out the middlemen. We cut out the niceties.

He could have said, knocked on the door, hey, that would have taken five minutes of his day. A quick five second shut the fuck up. Got the job job. And the fact that the guy listened, he was like, oh yeah, you got me. He's like, that's not me, that's my bad. Sorry, I thought drilling would be fun at midnight.

Speaking of niche New York, literally we recorded last Monday, I told my naked neighbor story. Yes. I get home from recording immediately have a bag of my clothes. So this girl gave it back before like the pod came out, gave me brownies. Okay. We wrote up.

No, like got them at the store, wrote a little note and said, thank you so much for helping me the other night. Sorry I didn't return your clothes sooner. I had to go out of town. Just the girlies being girlies. So you're apologizing to the academy for- Yeah, apologizing. This girl's been harassed for a week.

This is my new best friend now. My literal new best friend. So we give best friends. Who the fuck were you at dinner with? You tagged like six people and you were like, the greatest people in my life. And I got this wild, I've never met any of these people. And I was gonna DM you, but it was giving jealous girlfriend.

So I was like, I'm doing right now. No, she like tagged 800 girls and goes, with my favorite people I've ever met. That was someone else posted it and tagged me in it. And I re-posted it. Why'd you re- in it and I reposted it. Why'd you repost it? Because she's my friend. Who is she?

My friend Katie. You know my friend Katie. Is she from home? No, I met her at ABC News, but she is from home. Okay. I was just in her wedding. Okay. You blocked it out mentally.

No, I don't want to hear about like your other friendships. I will say this though. So my girlfriend Katie, we've been friends for like 10 years. No, it out mentally. No, I don't want to hear about like your other friendships. I will say this though. So my girlfriend, Katie, we've been friends for like 10 years. No, no, I remember. Shout out, Katie. Her husband texted me and was like, hey, I'm planning Katie a surprise birthday dinner.

How many surprise friends? Are you surprising? I feel, you're my fucking Nile Rogers out here doing this. You make me feel special when you're with me. You make me feel like I'm the only one. I'm surprised to people this week. But when he texted me, this is why this, it's like amazing getting older.

When he texted me, I'm reading the text, I'm like, oh, that's so nice. He's planning a surprise party. And then he goes, dinner's at 6 p.m. And I go, that is the best fucking thing. He was like, no, we need to get home, get on the couch. Like we need to chill. Six PM or bust.

And it was lovely. Literally I had a drink. I know you posted about it. It's true. Do you know what it was? It was because you tagged, like, there were seven girls tagged and I didn't know, like I didn't even heard about it. I had anyone.

And I was like, this is my family. This is my sister. And she's living a double life. Dez has already has a secret family. To your point, one of the girls at the dinner, I didn't really know. Okay? I didn't know the meters.

I really only know Katie. But I had a really special dinner with them. But these were her bridesmaids. So I knew them through that. But like, Katie is different. Yeah. Anywho, I'm gonna get a text from Katie being like, fuck Anna.

No, I actually pressed on her and she followed me and I was like, okay good. No, Katie's like the literal fucking bells. I'll follow her back. She's like when I need like my adult, like an adult friend to ask something. Oh. I call Katie.

Actually, Katie's my guru for if I want to buy something really expensive. I'll say Katie, should I invest in this? And she'll say yes. Okay, well I would like to meet Katie. Have you never met Katie? No, you've definitely met her probably at like a Giggly Squad show, but if that's like always so quick. I get overwhelmed.

Really quick. I get overwhelmed. Really quick, I just wanna discuss Travis Yelling. Wait, I just did Hannah last night. True or words have never been spoken. I feel like winning the Super Bowls like kind of an egg. Like okay, don't be the best. It's kind of gross. It's like, oh, you beat up all the other boys. You be the best. It's kind of gross. It's like, oh, you beat up all the other boys. And your coach, also here's another thing,

all football coaches have to look the same. It's not like a criteria, because literally they're showing the coach and I was like, I thought he coached the Patriots. No, that was an AI football coach. Everything was giving AI last night. Also, I have conspiracy theory crag next to me the whole time, like this is scripted.

This whole thing is scripted. I will say, I thought Taylor Swift looked gorgeous. Very cute, like a great outfit for the Super Bowl. My favorite was Ice Spice there, who had no idea what was going on and wasn't trying to hide it. She was straight up, everyone would get excited and she'd turn and be like, what happened?

And someone would try to explain to her, which is so relatable, but then it's like, Taylor's celebrating the Super Bowl, holding Ice Spice. Ice Spice is like, why are you shaking me so hard? I feel like Ice Spice was like, I thought this was like a play on the Super Bowl, like a theatrical, I thought this was very like a meta thing we were doing.

I thought Super Bowl was like a weed party, which it kinda is. No, the celeb's there. So this is my thing. I'm scared for Travis and Taylor because things are going to storybook. It makes me, pardon me for a second, I love the Chiefs. Was almost rooting against them

so they could have a redemption. Like it's going too positively and that makes me very uncomfortable. And that's my own traumas. I hate when men get accolades. You know, like I just hate, I'm very happy for them and they worked very hard and they should accept their award.

His- Imagine if Taylor accepted the award. She should have. His speech at the end, I just was like, stop singing. Okay, stop singing. Okay. Stop? So this is what people have to realize and I've been trying to tell you guys since day one,

but no one listens to me. As someone who has dated a much less talented football player in college, these men have CTE. And you guys think I'm, you guys thought it was a bit. Thought we were joking. You thought I was joking. It's not a bit. I've met them all.

They're all the same. And the guy I dated has 14 years less CTE than Travis Kelsey. And he's pretty bad. It was pretty scary down there. It was scary. It was very scary. We're touching go for a minute.

So this is the thing. People are like, how could he yell at his old coach's face? Yeah. This is a man who, the testosterone levels are so high that his brain cells are fully just zapped. And for a living, he gets pushed around and hit in the head. He's a human gladiator. The fact that he didn't beat the shit out of his coach is actually a miracle. The fact that he just yelled at him and broke his earbud.

Eardrum. Eardrum. But like, could have had an Apple Air pod in, you would have no idea. The thing for me that I think is so crazy, like I watched that him like going up and screaming, and I thought, hmm, if I yell, like anytime, anywhere, a woman shows an emotion at all, specifically

while doing her craft or like whatever, it'd be like, this is why women don't run the country. I mean, you're so emotional. I mean, that's crazy. But he did it and they were like, oh, he's just passionate about his sport. I was imagine Taylor Swift sing Viva Las Vegas when she won album of the year.

Everyone would be like, this is a medical emergency. Visiting hours are over, bring her back to the ward. Austin Butler somewhere being like, excuse me, excuse me. People are joking that Taylor Swift is gonna, when they break up, write a song called Viva Las Vegas and be like, you embarrassed me on the field, I was feeling weird, didn't know how to act, you were being trashed with him. I mean, this is a total

conspiracy there, like we, I'm literally just spewing shit. What I do love about the girls watching football is that they're realizing that this is like as good as reality TV, like sports is just reality TV. Right. It really is just men doing reality TV. The fact that Craig said it's scripted, I mean it's scripted in that, you know, for a fact that Travis and Taylor talked to all the reporters and they were like, okay, first we're gonna have the ceremony, then you guys are gonna stand right here where we can get you guys all surrounded by cameras and you have three minutes to make out and hold each other and get every single angle. And honestly-

Why did they stand in that one spot for so long? Because it was organized. But like the photos looked so fucking cute. This is the thing- They did look so cute. It's just, it's like, it's, I don't know who to believe. It makes me nervous.

I believe that these two people are on this like insane fucking high, but then the reporter's like, this is true love. And I'm like, I just don't want people to keep putting this crazy pressure on it. Cause like, let's be honest. Every relationship two years in, you're like, are you still breathing?

Two years in, two years in, honey. Oh my God, you deserve a medal. There's six months in and I'd be like, let's pack it on. Let's, we've done what we needed to do here. Think of there's six months. Everyone says that when you're with a football guy, like the wives don't even see their husbands during football season.

So he's been in football season. She's on a full live tour. I can't believe I've never dabbled in football. They've seen each other in person maybe 18 times. I'm here for that. And like that's why it's hot and heavy. But you can't say, once you've spent two weeks straight with each other, then let's like, let's just ask.

It's still leaving them alone, still leaving them alone. But like, these two people are on such a fucking crazy high. What do you think of his outfit? They need to be stuck at the airport together. Yes. They need to go to the DMV They need to go to Ikea. Yeah, they need to do some real Some real tests. They need to say we're gonna go out to dinner

But no person neither people has a location and then when it gets down to really being hungry What happens because that's when a fight breaks out. That's where I'm at my... Or they have to order Uber Eats and they're starving and the restaurant cancels. What are we gonna do? Nobody talks about that when you're ordering. And then immediately it says, sorry, we've closed. And when that happens, Des looks at me and goes,

whenever you order Uber, these things happen. I go, do you think it's me? The rage. The rage. And then he does it. And then I'm like, oh, oh. Yeah. Or they drop it off at the wrong apartment. Earlier in the pod, I said, would I be able to be a mom

and still do this? This week, not only did I realize, yes, but the best mom ever, because I've had a child with me all weekend, okay? I've woken up early to clean the kitchen, the apartment, make sure I'm really quiet, and then I'm like, okay, it's time to get my baby up, to clean the kitchen, the apartment, make sure I'm really quiet, and then I'm like, okay, it's time to get my baby up. To get my baby up, I have to get him showered,

I have to get him dressed, I have to figure out his schedule is for the day. Then I say, oh, mommy's gotta go to work now. Wait, you're already a mom. No, I'm a full mom. See, Dez broke his full leg, and he's like, hey, could you just grab me some water? And I'm like, ugh.

How about my mom sending chocolate for Dez? She was so nervous that I was going to take them and not leave them for you. She's like, now you left the chocolate for Hannah, didn't you? Or did you take it? No, Dez was so happy. He was like, oh, wow, these are good.

These are like really good. They're so good. They're so good. It's like a homemade. But Dez is now in Ireland. So you get all the chocolate. So we get all the chocolate. And everyone watches Special.

I'm actually really proud of him. His videos have been like blowing up on Instagram. Wait, I was high and laughing the other night at one of his clips. They're like blowing up. The man is like, he's like a viral sensation on Instagram. He deserves it. He deserves it. The man is like, he's like a viral sensation on Instagram. And I was- He deserves it.

He deserves it, obviously. And then like the executive production was like really, really executed well. Nobody's talking about the cinematography at all. People are talking about it. People are not talking about it. The Academy is dialed in though. They've seen it and they love your work.

Oh, I have a DJ James Kennedy story. I can't wait. So I on my fifth day in a row of a different state this last week, I went to Atlantic City. Have you ever been to Atlantic City? Not willingly. No, I don't think I have ever been to it. Basically in Pennsylvania, but it's New Jersey, and it's like a little island.

It's basically our Bermuda Triangle. Yeah, I feel like. It is, it is. I know. Because what happens in Atlantic City? I don't know, I'm scared. Yeah. And when it's out of Casino,

in New York Performer, they give you this big room that you just know it's full of strippers and parting, and it's just me in a corner. I feel like Atlantic City smells like smoke and cocaine. You know? It smells like smoke and cocaine. You know? It smells like fun, retired people who hate their kids. And I see a huge billboard for DJ James Kennedy. Yeah.

And I'm with Tracy and she's like, oh my god, James Kennedy's performing at the Bargada across from I was at Sound Waves at the Hard Rock. So I DM him, because DJ James Kennedy and I go way back. I don't talk about it. When I was at Betches, I interviewed him and Raquel. I think if you YouTube it, you can find it. Which is honestly iconic.

Iconic, and we like low key got a little sassy back and forth where I was like asking the Hardian questions because this was my first interviewing gig. And he was like, why ask him all these fucking questions? And I was like, that's when interview is James. Sorry, sorry, you're on an interview. It's quite literally the only reason we're here.

That's the one job I'm supposed to do. We laughed and then he would like, I'd like knew of him for a while and he was always really nice. He was like playing these like little bar shows and he would like, I knew of him for a while and he was always really nice. He was like playing these little bar shows and he would invite us to go. Anyway, so I DM him and he's like, oh my God, come through, I'll get you via PTABLE.

And I was like, yes, for sure, I wanna come through. And then he was like, okay, my set starts at 12.45. Yeah. And this was after like, right when I saw the post of like, you guys should all go to DJ James County. I was like, she found out what time it was started. Well, I was mentioning when I was like,

I'll definitely come by and show some love, represent. I'll tell the girls to come through. Can't wait to see you crazy. Like, oh, and then he goes, okay, see you 12, four or five. And it was like, left and right. You're like, sorry. This number is no longer in service. Please text one to reach an operator.

There was not one part in my brain that was like we should wait three hours. Dude. And like, but I would love to, I'm just, James I'm 32 and I'm tired and I've lived many lives. I had a girlfriend the other day say to me, I'm really proud of your boundaries because I was like, and no I'm 32 and I'm tired and I've lived many lives. I had a girlfriend the other day say to me, I'm really proud of your boundaries because I was like, and no, I'm not going.

Like, no, she's not coming to my house and I'm not going, no, she's like, I'm really proud of your boundaries. Cause people were always like FOMO, FOMO, FOMO, but it's like, I think once you experience enough, you go, okay, I got it. Yeah. Okay. I was not publicly shamed

because I was in my own home, but it felt like the public was around. I'm getting my hair and makeup done. Kelly is doing my makeup and Mitchell's like, let's just cut bangs. Like let's just do it now. And I'm like, okay, well, I feel like I should like film it. Like if I'm gonna do it.

So I go in my closet, I get out my ring light. I put my stand up, I put my phone in my ring light and I turn it on and Kelly looks at me and she goes, what the fuck is that? And I go, it's a ring light, like what do you mean? And she was like, this is the most millennial thing I've ever seen you do. And I go, wait a minute, what are the kids doing then?

How are they holding their phones? And she was like, no, we're not. Like you buy a light and then you hold your phone. Like we're not putting it in anything anymore. No, I wouldn't am I doing manual labor? I can't hold up my phone. We can wait for clean water solutions or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures.

Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the Earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Join us at YorkU.ca slash write the future. One of the things that we hate doing is obviously admin. And as you get older and you're an adult,

you have to do taxes, you have to do all this finance stuff. And I just can't do it. One of the things my mom told me was that I spent a lot of money on subscriptions that I didn't even know that I had. If you're like me, then you need Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bill. I can see all my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service, thank God, and Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year and over $500 million in canceled subscriptions.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad. That's rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad. Rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad. Rocketmoney.com slash giggly squad. A mental health moment. Since we got pretty negative there. This is crazy.

Someone on TikTok, I'm so sorry, I'll tag the person if I can find it. They were saying how, I don't know why I get all these inspirational things. I mean, we could unpack that next week. But it basically said, men are attracted to women visually. Okay. And women are attracted to men mentally and emotionally.

That's why women wear makeup and men lie. Mic drop. Isn't that fucking crazy? Yeah, that's why. Like that is though the reason why over time, like men become more obsessed with you and women like lose interest. Because we're just, we're meeting each other

and we're like, oh. So basically on a first date, don't believe a word he's saying, but also don't believe a word I'm saying either. Me neither. Yeah. Kind of think like the craziest lie I ever told on a date. I think that's, honestly, it's a very traditional standpoint, because moving forward, like, that's

basically saying like, oh man, we'll never be attracted to you if you're like funny or like a good person. Which? I mean, I definitely know a few. I definitely know a few. I definitely know a few. I also, we had that thing kind of go viral talking about how tired we are. So the comments are always really helpful. And people were like, you need B12, magnesium, vitamin C.

I take magnesium every night. It helps you fall asleep and it helps you stress. Yeah, and they say like women need more magnesium. But if you do in the morning, will it make you sleepy? I don't know. Long story short, they're telling us like... I don't think so. Where I am deficient.

They were telling us all this stuff and I'm like, how did the cave woman survive? Because you're telling me that I need to take all these pills every morning to just be normal? Yeah, to just be alive. To just exist? That's crazy. I do think I'm definitely iron deficient though because I crave burgers a lot. Me too.

And I think that's like, like if we crave red meat, we're craving the iron. But this is a thing. We're basically vampires. Do we really need all these pills? Like, why are we taking, also I will. In the newsletter, like a couple weeks ago, I put like a pill, like crush. Crazy.

She put a pill crush there. And I literally got it and I opened it and I was like so pumped for it and my mom was there that week and she was appalled. How many vitamins do you put in your filter? I literally haven't done it once yet. I got it actually for my NutraFull and like all my other vitamins to do it

and then do in my smoothie. Yeah. But it just lives on my counter right now. But like it makes you, it made you feel good to buy it. Yeah, it did. Speaking of girl math and buying stuff, have you ever like put a ton of stuff in your cart and thought if I don't buy this, I just saved $400?

Yeah, you made money. You made money. That's getting a paycheck. Every single store I've ever shopped at currently has a running cart. I always have a running cart. That's how I remember what I like. Does it ever accidentally delete the cart?

No, but then sometimes I'll put things in, just like take them out of a cart, put them in my saved. Or it gets sold out occasionally, but like there's been moments. That's when I say, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be. The universe didn't want it for me. It wasn't for me, it was for her.

It wasn't for me. No, when I have stuff in my cart and I go, I want it, I want it, and then I get distracted by something and then I don't buy it, I go, I made $400. Yeah. I made $200. No, that's Goma. I'll even make, but then if it's on Amazon, it doesn't count when you buy it. No, things on Amazon really don't count. Or things with Apple Pay don't count. That's a real tricky one. Yeah, the Apple Pay, I'm like, Apple Pay, that's crypto. Here's the other thing with Amazon. That's karma points, Apple Pay. It's like, Amazon doesn't give a fuck. Like if you want to return something, they're like, yeah,

you broke bitch, you need the 20, like we'll take it back. Here's your money, you stupid, stupid bitch. Because like there's no fuss, there's no mess with them. Like it's so easy to return shit, it's so easy to get shit in the mail, and it's also so cheap, it's so easy to just keep it. You can press return and just never return it. And they're like, we don't care.

You obviously need them more than us. Like they shame you. I feel like Amazon shames you when you return something. Because they're like, get another job. Do you know when like you're buying a $4 mascara and then it's like coupon 10% off. And I'm like, it feels insulting. Yeah.

To be like, oh, you think I need 40 cents right now. Yeah. You're like, well, last month you did. Last month you returned $3.07 things. Do you know why Amazon's making so much money? Because I have so many subscriptions of paper towels. Why do I have so many paper towels in my apartment right now?

Right now, that's so funny you say that. Because for whatever reason, I must have signed up for a subscription. I can't get the timing right. For Swiffer fluid. Okay, I've used my Swiffer once a year. And I have seven bottles of it. Being an adult is so hard.

So I realized like, oh my God, I've spent way too much money on toilet paper, so I canceled it. And then my mom's like, where's your toilet paper? And I was like, oh. Again. I like oh go back on this multi-level marketing scheme no it's so much no I'm so fucking stressed out oh also I want to be an actor okay so I want to be an actress I mean it's just I surrounded myself this guy's one going to be an actor too.

Are you kidding? He only thinks he was born to be an actor. He immediately stood up during usher. I was like, you're not performing, sit down. So this is my thing. I obviously went to school with Jeremy on white. I was in a drama class and like honestly, I was getting big reports on him and I was like,

you know what, I always wanted to be an actress but I'm not like, I'm not that delusional that I'm like, I'm gonna be an actress. So instead I took a very like roundabout way to then be like, wait, can I be an actress? So then I told my agent that I was like, I want to be an actress and I can't tell if they're just like, okay.

Yeah. Because sometimes they do. Okay, that sounds so good. We'll look into it and I might, they're never. They'll look into it. So I've gotten a couple of auditions. Now, I'm gonna walk you guys through this process with me. So I'm like, I wanna be an actress.

And then they send you an audition and you're like, fuck. And they're like, you have to memorize like three pages of a script. It's the only reason why I think I want to be on a movie. I don't want to memorize three pages of script. So then I will procrastinate till the day it's due. And then I have to call Grace.

I say, Grace, can you come over? I read some lines. Grace and I, I want to be an actress, but I can't memorize anything. See, we've hit a crossroad. We've hit a crossroad. See, I can memorize everything, but I can't get up there and do it. Arguably, I think you can act.

I'll get so nervous when I'm like two minutes in, I'll just start saying random names. Like I'll just change up the script. Desna almost got divorced once because he was helping me film a self tape yeah and he kept being like stop and go in the other room and just just keep memorizing it and I'm like no I'm working it out here and he goes yeah well I'm fucking exhausted you keep messing up right to make me do this exact he goes go in the room and actually know your lines and then come back and I go, no, but I'm learning it with you.

Don't come to us. One time Love Island was on. Love Island was on. Craig's talking, talking, talking. I'm like, you don't know the script. Love Island's on. Leave the room. Come back when you're ready.

What do I look like? And then you're not allowed to make a mistake and just cut it. Right, you have to do the whole scene. Which is crazy, because I'm like, wouldn't you rather me do it well with one cut? Yeah. First of all, that's what cuts are for.

Then me bumble for a bad audition. So Grace is laughing, I'm trying to act, so I'm acting like I'm not laughing at myself. I'm trying to literally do my craft. So I'm so sure I want to be an actress, but we're hitting a difficult time. And then they said you have to get an acting coach. So anyway.

That seems like a nightmare. Yeah, so turns out acting's hard. Also, I have so much respect for actors, because when I'm working on my jokes, I'm doing it on stage. I'm getting laughs. And here's the other thing, you're memorizing. Well, the thing is I wrote it.

It's like a song you wrote. It's like Ludacris's verse. I will never forget. Like, it's like, Paige. This is what, Paige. I'm like, tell that funny story about Troy. Yeah. You wouldn't be like, oh, I can't remember it.

Like, you're telling stories, you're telling jokes. After Annette Abler, too. You never know. No, I get that. And I only, it's my childhood trauma that I can even memorize anything because I couldn't read till fourth grade. So I literally had to cosplay

as someone who knew how to read. See, I was a bullshitter. I would not read even though I could and then raise my hand. Cause I was like, I have something to say about this book. I was crazy. I would get off on hearing a couple opinions and then raise my hand and be like, I think this character was appalling. We would have been perfect in school.

I'd try and literally get inside my desk to not get called on. I was that person at class that raised her hand every time to the point that when I would be sick from school, I'd go, who's speaking? Who's raising her hand? That was today. is your hand every time to the point that when I would be sick from school I go, who's speaking class? Who's writing the answers today? Hannah, you had to pry my hand from my desk and it was glued. You were the cool girl in the back. You were the cool girl in the back.

I would raise my hand before the question was in. I would raise my hand before they asked the question because I wanted them to pick me. I'm a pick me girl. If we were in class and that was you, I would have been in the back and been like this bitch again. I would never, I wasn't. We know Hannah knows it. I wasn't that girl though who like, when class was over,

I'd be like, wait, can I ask a question? Yeah. Like I was ready to leave. Well, no, you want to go home. I was tired, but like if we were gonna do it, I'm like, let's do it right. Yeah, you weren't like, oh, you forgot to assign homework. No.

You weren't psychotic. No, but like if no one was raising their hand, I would take the sacrifice. Because you can't have an awkward silence. I cannot. You're like, this guy's up here trying to run a bit and no one's reacting to him. I definitely am the girl though that like,

they pick someone else and I'm like. F-f can't see my eyes, can't pick on me. No, because if you're raising your hand a lot, then when you don't know, they're not going to come to you because you already spoke earlier, it's smart. The whole infrastructure of school makes me smile. I come from a family of teachers, so we live for school. We love school. Oh, I come from a family of dropouts.

We hate it. We'll figure out a different way. My mom's a fucking principal. Like, the school was all we cared about. My grandma was a librarian. My grandpa was a gym teacher. Oh, my God. My aunt was a teacher.

Everyone's a teacher. But I would get in trouble because when I wasn't raising my hand, I was still talking. Classic. So I never shut up. Yeah. And now here we are. But now I want to be an actress, and this is the problem.

With actors, they work so hard behind the scenes. Like you have to do all this stuff that no one sees for you to potentially get a role. Like stand up, even if I go and I bomb for 10 minutes, I get paid 30 bucks for the gig. Where like this, I spent four hours with Grace trying to get three pages of a script that'll never see the light of day.

And then I get it when like actors get to a certain point where they're like, I'm not auditioning. Well, yeah, that's when I asked Michael Rapoport. I was like, can you give me advice for like auditioning? And he was like, I haven't auditioned in 30 years. You fucking loser. And I was like, okay. Say it about the youth.

Here's your coffee, bye. Hi. Hi. Hi. So I just want to commend, that's why like when you see these actors give their speeches of like, we've been through a lot like,

it's not just you wake up and you have a role. Like I have to probably do like self-tapes before. You understand their Oscar speeches more now. Finally, I do have two documentaries. Okay. One, did I talk about the Lil Nas documentary? I think I did. Yay.

Okay, that one. And then two, there's a new one on Netflix that everyone needs to watch about a stalker. Okay. I think I might have seen the trailer. Everyone's talking about it. It's only like an hour 15. It's twisted, it's crazy, lover stalker killer. No.

And it'll make you like never wanna go on a dating app again. But it did remind me of like, just how like you meet people and how one moment could change your life. But on a positive note, on Burner Phone, we were gonna do a Valentine's Day episode and I was like, okay, let's ask bad date stories

on Valentine's Day and I was like, no, let's do something more original. And I was like, let's do the craziest way you met someone, romantically. Like a meet cute. The stories we got, Paige, it actually was so hopeful and crazy. Like one girl's- Like the universe really is working.

One girl said that she was fighting with her boyfriend and they went to a red robin. And- Wow. RIP. Are they not a thing? I don't think so, are they? I feel like they are, but not in New York City.

No, because they used to have them upstate. I think they fully went out. They used to fuck up a Red Robin. What was your order? Just a cheeseburger. You've mentioned cheeseburgers eight times today. I'm here for the cheeseburger community. So basically they're in a fight and he made her go in

to get the food, which is annoying. She goes in to get the food and she was looking for a job and they randomly asked her like, do you want to be the hostess here? And she was like, okay. And she found out the chef had seen her and was like, asked her to be the hostess. They fell in love, they're married. Another girl is on chat roulette in China during COVID. Sees a guy playing a banjo, loves banjos.

They date for five years. These are quick, tiny moments. This one guy was jogging, needed water, married, had four kids. Like, that's why when you're like sitting at home, and it does motivate me, definitely go outside. But like bars you don't have to do, but something about one lady,

a guy was like dropping off food cause it went to the wrong address and he brought it to hers, hit it off, married. Here's the thing that I feel like when I was single, you're never single. I feel like no one talked to me. Like I feel like I never talked to people like out in the wild

like during the day. Like I don't think my Uber driver was ever like, you're really pretty, you know? to people like out in the wild of like during the day. I don't think my Uber driver was ever like, you're really pretty. You know, like, you don't even know my name. You know, like I feel like I've never had something create like that happen today. Oh, I have the craziest one ever.

This one girl definitely listens to the episode because I don't wanna mess up the stories, but she was supposed to email someone. She's a teacher and she was supposed to email a kid. And she got the email address wrong. A guy responds like, hey, I don't think this is the right person. She must have responded back kind of funny, married with children.

One time I got a text message with one number off from my number and they said, hey, we're phone number buddies and I blocked her. Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare. Thank you guys so much for getting with us today. We love you so much. We'll talk to you next week, and have a great Monday. See ya. Tuesday, Wednesday.

Bye. See ya. See ya. Wednesday. Bye. See ya. See ya. See ya.

See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya.